Author's Note: Archiving (some of) my 2017 Inuvember oneshots in this collection. Rivalry prompt.

Originally posted here & Tumblr: Dec. 1, 2017

Posted here: Nov. 7, 2021

Setting: Canon-verse

Characters: InuGang

Words: 594

Rated: T

Genre: Humor

Food War

Dinnertime was war. Only the one quickest with their chopsticks, the fastest to snatch up the delicious morsels, could dare become the victor of every night's battle. The two warriors sat beside one another, utensils at the ready. The food was set out. And it began!

"Honestly, those two never stop," Kagome sighed to no one in particular, as she tried in vain to eat her meal in peace. Inuyasha and Shippo were staring so intensely at one another, each with their chopsticks on the same dumpling, that a crackling aura surrounded them both.

Miroku put down his bowl of soup and held up a hand to the two of them. "There is no need for hostility, my friends. Sharing food among others is a long-held tradition of being in harmony while-"

But the monk didn't finish his sentence. Inuyasha took a dive and snagged the dumpling, only to be stopped by Shippo's spinning top. The chaos that followed resulted in a shattered table, food scattered everywhere, including on everyone's clothes and hair, and a pair of squabbling demons, determined to claim what was rightfully theirs. In their eyes, anyway.

"Inuyashaaaaaa..." Kagome growled, her eyebrow twitching. "SIT BOY!"

CRASH! The half-demon crashed to the floor boards, while Shippo perched on his back, triumphantly holding up the surviving dumpling. But just as he was about to eat it, Kagome snatched it from him.

"K-Kagome!" Shippo wailed.

"You're not off the hook either, Shippo," Kagome said in a stern voice. "Just look at the mess the two of you made!"

Inuyasha and the little fox demon looked around sheepishly. Miroku was sitting serenely, a bowl of noodles on his head, sipping a cup of tea. Sango's hand was twitching, dangerously close to her Hiraikotsu, her kimono stained with numerous food items, making the fabric stick tighter to her curves. Kirara merely licked herself clean, though her beautiful fur was filthy with pieces of fish and noodles sticking to her. And Kagome sported a distinct spot in the middle of her uniform shirt, making her bra slightly visible under the white fabric.

"Uhhhh... he started it!" Shippo said, gesturing wildly at Inuyasha, who had sat up and straightened his robe, determinedly looking the other way.

"I don't care WHO started it!" Kagome yelled, causing the two feuding friends to flinch. "I'll finish it! Now you two are gonna clean this up or you'll never taste any 'ninja' food again! Yes, that means ramen, too, Inuyasha!"

The two horrified, blanched faces were enough to convince Kagome that they were repentant, so she stiffly stood up, joined with Sango, to head to the nearest river to wash up. Once they left the hut, Miroku stood as well, calmly removing the bowl from his head.

"Well, you two, as much as I want to say you didn't deserve that, I don't need to say that you did."

"But you did say it," Inuyasha muttered grumpily.

"However, I do thank you for one thing." Miroku grinned cheekily. "Your, er, disaster resulted in some pleasant visions."

Shippo blinked in confusion. But Inuyasha growled in disgust.

"Lech! I was busy trying to eat a delicious dumpling, I wasn't attempting to be a pervert!"

"Ah, but Inuyasha, sometimes the unintentional can be far more effective and promising than some genuine attempts. Well done." With that, the monk winked and stepped outside as well.

"What was that all about?" Shippo asked.

"Nothing! Let's just start cleaning up, all right?" Inuyasha snapped, trying vainly to erase the image of Kagome's partially exposed cleavage from his mind...