Noah, the Schemer

by Stupidity Vaccine

A slight schism in the World Tour timeline. In his last few minutes on the show, Noah manages to find the inspiration to take action and escape elimination. What will happen with Noah at the helm of Team Chris? How will the season progress? Could anything else happen? And how long can the lazy bookworm escape misfortune?

10. Rapa Phooey!

Hello, and welcome to Rapa Nui!

I don't have very much to report, but I will, of course, give my usual gratitude to you all for reading this and showing your support.

I am fully aware that I sound like a broken record by this point, but I never expected this story to get as big as it did (I figured one or two readers, maybe one comment, if that) and I really can't thank you guys enough. Hard to believe that, after this chapter, there will only be four left!

But without further ado, let's get back to the plane:

Courtney leaned back in her seat, out cold in what appeared to be a still and dreamless sleep. Alejandro sat next to her, his own eyes closed, though he did peek a glance at Courtney after a few seconds, before closing them again.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"After Bridgette's pathetic stunt, I need to make sure that Courtney is still where I need her to be," Alejandro explained. "But we had barely made small talk when she decided she wanted to rest."

Alejandro gracefully leapt up from his seat - quietly enough to leave Courtney asleep - and walked off. As Courtney rubbed her eyes and yawned, sitting up, Alejandro wheeled over a cart.

"Good morning, mi chica," Alejandro smiled. "I hope you had a sleep fit for such a beauty as yourself."

Courtney smiled at the compliment. "Aw, thanks." She then eyed the cart, which was full of confectionaries.

Alejandro caught her eye. "Ah, this is my reward for the safari challenge. All sorts of sweets and candies. Alas, I'm afraid I don't have much of a sweet tooth myself." He glanced suggestively at Courtney, picking up a basket of chocolate. "Would you like some?"

Courtney accepted the offer silently, still smiling at Alejandro. As she opened a box of chocolate from within the basket, she glanced to the side. "Alejandro?"

"Si?"

"What do you think Bridgette was talking about when she jumped out of the plane?"

Alejandro feigned a shrug. "I am afraid I have no idea."

Courtney put down the box of chocolates, sighing. "She warned me not to end up stuck to a pole."

"Perhaps an attempt at a joke?"

"But she also said that no one here should trust you."

Alejandro kept calm, putting his hand to his chin. Finally, he shrugged. "Well, if I remember correctly, I helped cause her elimination. I believe my team won the challenge that day, ultimately leading to her defeat. She was likely just a bit vengeful."

Courtney stared at him, in an attempt to read him. Alejandro's perfectly calm exterior foiled this plan. Finally, Courtney slowly nodded. "Yeah, it must have been that."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I really want to be happy with Alejandro," Courtney said, twirling the basket of chocolate awkwardly. "Bridgette's cryptic remarks really threw me for a loop, but his reasoning makes sense. I think I might just be paranoid after my last relationship was sabotaged." With this last word, she slammed her fist down onto the sink in front of her.

The three losers who sat in economy class did not appear eager to make conversation. Heather glared at the doorway, as if imagining what Alejandro and Courtney were up to down the hall. Tyler stared out the window, while Noah held his head in his hand.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"With Zeke gone, I'm out of solid allies, meaning I could very easily be the next person kicked off this plane," Noah said. "Time to start breaking up the band."

"Hey, Lady Lookout," Noah said to Heather, whose gaze fell upon Noah incredibly quickly, as though she was attempting to convince him she wasn't looking anywhere.

"What do you want?" Heather asked, as Tyler's eyes fell upon the conversation.

"It's time to start facing the facts," Noah said. "Alejandro's in first class right now schmoozing with his girlfriend. If we don't want those two to take us out, one by one, we have to come up with some sort of plan."

"I'm not worried about them," Heather scoffed, as she stood up.

"Oh, yeah, because Alejandro and his girlfriend are totally going to just keep you around in case they ever need a third wheel," Noah quipped.

"Ugh, I mean I'm not scared of them," Heather grumbled, as she walked out the door. "But clearly, you are."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Noah's the weakest person still on this plane, and I think he knows it," Heather said. "Trying to have us all align ourselves with him is a transparent strategy that won't work. Besides, I'm not worried about Alejandro or Courtney."

As she spit out the final name with malice, she stared at the mirror, putting her ear to it. "I wonder how well you can hear into first class from here?" She looked up to see a vent, and grew a devilish, cheeky grin.

With Heather gone, Noah turned his full attention to Tyler. "Tyler."

"Uh, hey, Noah. What's up?"

The jock was sweating nervously, failing to make eye contact with Noah.

The latter sighed. "Something's eating you. Spit it out, dude." The jock did not appear particularly willing, so Noah continued. "Come on. You can trust me. I'm the guy who let you jump the hurdles in Greece, who refused to leave you behind without an emu in Australia, and who let you be captain in Sweden. I'm coming from a good place."

Tyler appeared to weigh his options as he stared at Noah. Finally, he blurted out his thoughts. "Alejandro wants to take me to the final two for a gentleman's finale and told me not to trust you since you lied about Lindsay's elimination!" Tyler slumped over in his seat, relief washing over his face. "Aw, yeah, that's a load off."

Noah ran over everything he had just heard. "Uh, hold on. That's a lot to process."

One statement, however, clearly weighed the heaviest over Tyler. "Why'd you lie about Al causing Lindsay's elimination?"

Now Noah was the one to sigh. "Can I be honest? I panicked. I didn't want to get eliminated, so I came up with a way to get you to vote for Alejandro. I'm really sorry, dude."

Tyler processed this, before shaking his head. "I mean … you sure seem like you're telling the truth."

"Unlike Alejandro, I am capable of doing so at some points," Noah quipped.

"But Al and I are still going to the finale together," Tyler crossed his arms.

"Right, right, a 'gentleman's finale,'" Noah air-quoted. Abruptly, he stood up. "Wait. Why do I feel like I've heard that before?"

"Listen, mi amigo, I have a proposition for you," Alejandro said, breaking the tense silence, as he and Heather stared down Noah and Sierra above the roaring Niagara Falls. "I know we both dislike one another, but I also know we both value our place in the game."

"What are you getting at?" Noah's brow raised in curiosity.

"Owen's popularity makes him a massive threat to us - massive in more ways than one," Alejandro referenced their former teammate's obesity. "Vote him off tonight, and I'll steer clear of you for the remainder of the competition. Perhaps we can face the finale as a gentlemen's battle."

Noah looked at Tyler as though he had just made a scientific breakthrough. "Tyler. I want you to listen to me."

Tyler perked up. "Uh, yeah?"

"Alejandro told me the same thing. In Niagara Falls. He told me if I voted off Owen then he and I could go to a 'gentleman's battle' in the finale."

"He told me that after I voted for Owen," Tyler recalled, but still glanced at Noah. "Dude, you just told me you lied, though. Why should I trust your story?"

"I lied to you about Lindsay. I apologized," Noah said. "But I promise you right now, I am being dead serious. Don't trust Alejandro."

Tyler seemed to weigh this over, before Chris' booming voice came from over the loudspeaker.

"ATTENTION, PASSENGERS, WE ARE CLEARED FOR LANDING!" Chris turned to Chef after making the announcement. "Now, come on, let me land it!"

"No," Chef refused.

"Just once!"

"No way."

"You know, technically, it is my plane," Chris pointed out. Chef refused to budge, leading the two to engage in a slap fight. The plane's descent became a bit more crooked as Chef ignored his flying duties, causing it to swerve into an ancient-looking statue as it landed.

"What was that?!" Courtney jumped as the plane hit a "runway." Her look of fear quickly became one of anger. "Chris is out to kill us!"

"We will not let him," Alejandro smiled at her. "We are survivors."

Courtney smiled warmly at him. "Speaking of survivors … who should we make sure doesn't survive the next elimination ceremony?"

Up above in a hidden vent, Heather leaned in closely to the conversation.

Alejandro put a hand under his chin. "Noah is the only one left who doesn't trust us. We should get rid of him next."

"Really?" Courtney frowned. "I mean, Noah's whatever, but Heather's a whiny jerk and Tyler's a blithering, double-crossing idiot!"

"Double-crossing?" Alejandro repeated.

"Please. The soccer ball attack to the face? The rhino stampede? The way he was quote-unquote 'unable' to fend off the bear from attacking you?," Courtney recalled the last challenge. "He even flat-out punched you in the face. Clearly, he's working against you. Why wouldn't you want him gone?"

Alejandro stroked his chin, thinking about this. "Interesting. And why do you think he did this?"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Tyler's still a useful idiot, and it's really time to stop delaying Noah's inevitable elimination," Alejandro explained. "But I'm curious to see where Courtney's going with this little theory of hers."

"He's developed some boy-crush on me, and he sees you as a threat," Courtney shrugged, as though it was obvious.

"Really?" Alejandro asked. "I thought he was with Lindsay."

"Maybe he's forgotten about her. She did the same to him, after all," Courtney noted, in a knock at both of their intelligence. "Besides, the men on this plane don't have a great history of finishing off their last relationships before they start new ones."

A sadness fell on Courtney as she said that, leading Alejandro to put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Mi chica, what Duncan did was truly barbaric. But it is in the past, and it is confined to his pathetic delinquent behavior. I do not believe Tyler is cruel enough to mimic him."

Courtney nodded slowly, sighing. "Well … then, what were you two talking about in the hallway yesterday?"

"Pardon?"

"When you two were whispering in the hallway outside economy class. It was right before we got to the Serengeti," Courtney pointed out. As Alejandro rapidly searched his brain for a good lie, Courtney unknowingly doubled down. "Wasn't he telling you off? That's what Noah said, at least."

"He was certainly not telling me off," Alejandro swore, instinctively becoming more angry at the mention of Noah and another one of his hair-brained schemes.

"Well, then, what were you two talking about?" Courtney inquired, tensing up a bit in response to Alejandro raising his voice.

In the vents, Heather could hardly contain her interest, squinting as far as she could to catch every second of this juicy discussion. That is, until the vent opened up and sent the queen bee crashing into first class.

"Que?" Alejandro raised an eyebrow.

"Heather," Courtney crossed her arms. "I'm sorry, were we distracting you from playing Zeke?"

Heather stood up and dusted herself off, glaring at Courtney with as much dignity as one could muster after falling from an air duct. "Buzz off." She shot a glare at Alejandro, whose eye twitched ever slightly out of frustration.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Noah should leave the lying to the professionals," Alejandro scowled, slamming his fist into the sink before him in a fit of rage. "What a foolish lie. Tyler was threatening me to leave Courtney alone? How rich."

==COURTNEY==

"I must still have Bridgette and Duncan in my head, because I'm starting to feel serious doubts about whatever's going on here," Courtney said, a bit unnerved.

Chris entered first class, dressed in a form of Polynesian native garb, just in time to witness the palpable display of hatred between Heather and Courtney turn to glares at him. The host held up his hands defensively. "Whoa! No need to look at me like that."

"There pretty much always is," Heather shot back.

"We've arrived at our next destination, so if you'll all follow me." Chris led the three teens into the common area, where they were met by Noah and Tyler, who emerged from economy class. Alejandro and Noah met each other's eyes with a glare.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I was so preoccupied with trying to appease Courtney I nearly forgot about leaving Tyler and Noah together in economy class," Alejandro said. "No matter - Tyler's brain is like a fine dough, easy to be molded as many times as necessary. I will be kicking Noah out of this plane tonight."

Chef and some interns stood off to the side, assessing the damage of the slightly ruined historical artifact. Meanwhile, Chris led the final five down a small grassy pathway.

"Welcome, contestants, to beautiful Rapa Nui, also known as Easter Island," Chris gestured to the scenic statues around him. "For today's challenge, I'm not the only one who will be wearing some local color."

"Is that what you call it," Noah raised an eyebrow quizzically.

An intern handed each of the final five contestants a feathered headset - a blue one for Alejandro, a purple one for Noah, a red one for Tyler, a green one for Courtney, and a yellow one for Heather.

"Is this, like, a fashion show contest, or something?" Tyler asked as he cautiously put on his headset. "'Cause the hockey team back home will never let me hear the end of it."

"I think you've already accomplished quite enough to be mocked by your friends back home," Chris said. "But no, this isn't a fashion show. Since we're on Easter Island, I think an Easter egg hunt is in order!"

"Ooo, do we get to color them ourselves?" Noah feigned excitement.

"Actually, each of your eggs will match the color of your headset," Chris held out a light blue colored egg, and pointed at the light blue feather on his own headset, as a demonstration. "There are plenty of eggs scattered around here. Once you find three of your colored eggs, head through that underground cave to reach the highest point of that mountain there, for the next challenge. First person to make it there with all their eggs receives a massive benefit in the next leg."

The five teens prepared to head off, with Alejandro eyeing both Courtney and Tyler. He snapped his fingers in realization, and walked over to Tyler. "Tyler, mi amigo, can you help me with something?"

"Uh, sure?" Tyler shrugged, walking away from Noah and following Alejandro towards Courtney - a fact that clearly made the jock a bit uneasy.

Noah, too, watched with anticipation, as the two walked off.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I told Courtney that Tyler had a crush on her," Noah recalled. "Well, this conversation ought to be interesting."

"What do you want?" Courtney glared at Tyler.

"Tyler, are you attracted to Courtney?" Alejandro asked. "Be entirely honest."

"Honestly? No way, she's totally terrifying!" Tyler said, looking at the CIT with a look of fear in his eyes.

Courtney crossed her arms, starting to believe but continuing to pry. "So then, what did you and Alejandro talk about in the hall yesterday?"

"In the hall?" Tyler thought, as a look of dread came over Alejandro. "Oh, yeah! Al said he wants to go to the finale with me."

"He did, did he?" Courtney's look of distrust moved from Tyler to Alejandro, as the latter shot a fierce glare at the former.

==CONFESSIONAL

"Al said 'be entirely honest," Tyler said, shrugging his shoulders. "So that's what I did."

==CONFESSIONAL==

Alejandro swore in Spanish.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Okay, there's something very fishy going on here," Courtney crossed her arms. "Maybe Bridgette was onto something."

Alejandro moved forward, attempting to reason with Courtney. "I told him that to comfort him, make him feel good."

Courtney, however, jerked away from his touch. "How do I know you didn't just tell me things to comfort me and make me feel good, hm?"

As this awkward situation played out, Noah and Heather were the only ones actually beginning the challenge. The two of them raced towards the large statue garden, before looks of realization appeared on their faces.

"These statues look awfully familiar," Noah noted.

"It's all the losers who got booted off this stupid show," Heather pointed out. Indeed, every single eliminated contestant of Total Drama World Tour - from Harold to Ezekiel - was represented in the form of a giant bust.

Distracted by a bit of purple in the nostril of a giant Harold, Noah began climbing up. "The eggs are in the statues!" He yelled down to Heather.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I know Heather's not exactly a friend or an ally," Noah said. "But with the Alejandro Squad imploding, it couldn't hurt to reach out."

Heather simply nodded and ran towards some of the other statues. Meanwhile, Courtney had stormed off on her own, leaving a flustered Alejandro and a sheepish Tyler.

"Why would you tell her that?" Alejandro turned to face his ally.

"You said 'be honest!'" Tyler defended himself.

Alejandro rubbed his temples in annoyance. "I don't have time for this. I'll meet up with you later." With this, the Spaniard ran off, leaving Tyler to awkwardly investigate the statues.

"Uh, okay."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Maybe Noah was right about Al," Tyler mulled. "I mean, the dude's been super weird lately, especially with Courtney."

Courtney passed a giant statue of Gwen. "Boyfriend stealer!" she hissed at it, throwing a rock at Gwen's large head. After the rock impacted the statue, a green egg rolled out of Gwen's ear. Courtney dove to catch it, barely managing to do so. "Yes!" she cheered, looking up awkwardly to the statue of her hated foe. "Uh, thanks."

She eyed the giant bust of Bridgette, shuddering with discomfort and walking past. As she began to move on and climb a giant DJ bust, Alejandro came running up to her. "A beautiful woman should not have to do this challenge alone!"

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Courtney shot back as she began to ascend DJ's massive bust. She pried a blue egg out of DJ's ear.

"Ah, that is one of mine!" Alejandro realized with delight. "Please, Courtney, can you give it to me?"

"Gladly," Courtney replied, chucking the egg at him at high velocity. It splattered all over his clothes.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"After all he's done for me, this seems a little harsh," Courtney recalled the good times she had had with Alejandro since Niagara Falls. "But … I just don't know what to believe anymore."

Alejandro attempted to take his splattering in stride. He laid down on his knees, putting his hands to his face. "Oh, who am I kidding? You are right, mi chica. I deserve this!" he cried out loudly, loud enough to elicit a look of genuine curiosity from Courtney, a glance of barely-feigned concern from Heather, and an eye roll from Noah.

Courtney slid down DJ's neck, and eyed Alejandro cautiously, as though imploring him to continue. He did so, wiping egg yolk from his face. "The truth is, Courtney, I have watched your graceful performance for a full season now, and … I have been intimidated. I figured that with your understandably high standards, there was no way you would give a formerly-eliminated contestant like me a chance."

Alejandro sighed, but Courtney motioned for him to continue. "So I tried my best to flirt, to bribe, to give you whatever you wanted in the hopes that you would give me that chance. I even told Tyler that we would go to the final two together, as a way to get him as a reliable vote and prevent the likes of Noah and Heather from voting you off."

He stood, shaking his head solemnly. "I did not want you to feel threatened or afraid that you would be kicked out, so I never told you. But I should have been honest with you. And for this, I am truly, truly sorry."

Courtney stared at Alejandro for a long while, before abruptly sprinting up to him, and passionately locking lips. The two remained in a makeout session for over ten seconds, as Tyler ran up and awkwardly passed them.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Uh, good for Al," Tyler shrugged.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Truly an outstanding performance - even for me," Alejandro smirked.

"Come on, big guy, you've got to have something for me," Noah patted the statue of Owen on its base, as he prepared to climb. Before he could get one foot up, though, he statue began to shake, and a large belch erupted from Owen's mouth. With this, two purple eggs tumbled down, and Noah just barely managed to grab both.

Heather walked by, carefully balancing three yellow eggs in her grasp.

"Chris didn't give us baskets," Noah realized aloud.

"No, duh," Heather retorted, barely managing to keep her three eggs steady.

"Well, how are your juggling skills?" Noah replied.

Heather chose to ignore this remark as she headed towards the cave.

Tyler ran up to Noah, peering up at the giant statue of Owen. "Whoa."

"Yeah, part of me still feels they didn't capture the magnitude of his size," Noah quipped, before engaging the jock. "Any eggs yet?"

"No. How did you get those?" Tyler gestured to Noah's two eggs.

"Fell out of Owen's mouth," Noah gestured, gently setting the eggs down on the ground. "The eggs are in the statues."

Tyler took in the surroundings, noting all of the statues in their glory. "Whoa. Cool." He then looked down at Noah, who was taking off his shirt. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"We need three eggs each, and I don't feel like going through the clown routine," Noah explained, gesturing to Heather as she walked towards the cave entrance. Noah fastened his shirt into a makeshift basket and put his two eggs into it. "I recommend doing the same."

"Oh, sweet!" Tyler nodded, yanking off his tracksuit top and tying it into a bag as well. "Let's go find some eggs!"

As Tyler excitedly led Noah back to the statue garden, the two shirtless contestants attracted the attention of Chris, who was also shirtless as a part of his Polynesian islander costume. "Way to get into the local spirit!" he called after them.

Alejandro and Courtney held a basket between the two of them. Once holding chocolate and candy from Alejandro's reward, it now contained a few blue and green eggs.

"You should have been honest with me from the start," Courtney glanced flirtatiously at Alejandro. "How long has this little 'admiration' been going on?"

"Since I first saw you on TV, mi amor," Alejandro said. "The way you took control of your team not once, not twice, but three times … it was completely inspiring! I watched your every decision with awe!"

Courtney blushed.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I actually did watch 'Total Drama' before my time here," Alejandro said. "It helped me learn all of the weaknesses of my opponents - particularly Courtney's enormous ego."

The couple looked into each other's eyes as they walked, approaching the statue of Duncan.

"Ugh," was all Courtney could muster as she looked up at the bust.

"Let us see if Duncan can make himself useful for once," Alejandro said, putting down the basket and beginning to climb up.

Heather walked through the cave, desperately trying to maintain a grip on her tree eggs. "Stupid Chris and his stupid lack of baskets. Stupid Alejandro not even pretending to care."

As she walked slowly through the cave, a distant rumbling came from deep within. Heather strained her ear to hear the rumbling grow louder and louder. Finally, she realized with dread that something large was rolling right at her. She had barely managed to leap to the side when a giant boulder rolled right through the cave.

Heather sighed with relief, before realizing that she had dropped one of her eggs in the process. She groaned loudly.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"As much as this pains me to say, I really don't want to be alone right now," Heather said. "Alejandro and Courtney already outnumber me, and they can vote me off anytime they want. Ugh."

Heather walked shamefully out of the cave in search of another egg, just in time to witness Tyler fall to the ground with a thud from climbing a statue of Lindsay.

"Come on, there's got to be an egg in there!" Noah encouraged. "You have to make it to the top."

"I can do it!" Tyler psyched himself up, as he ascended the statue of Lindsay. He nearly lost his footing a few more times, leading to a few winces of anticipation from both Noah and Heather, but the jock ultimately reached the top. Peering into Lindsay's ear, he unhappily shook his head. "Nothing but air!"

"Big shock," Heather rolled her eyes. Noah suppressed a chuckle, turning to see the queen bee holding only two eggs.

Noah smirked at her. "Did one of your eggs hatch?"

"It fell in the stupid cave," Heather pointed to the underground entrance, as Tyler climbed back to the ground.

"You gotta take off your shirt and make it into a basket!" Tyler encouraged, earning him an unimpressed look from Noah and a glare from Heather.

"As much as the viewing audience would love to see that, I don't think Heather's tiny tube top is going to be holding any eggs," Noah said, turning to Heather. "Maybe Tyler or I can carry one for you?"

Heather looked at the two, then back at the cave. She frowned. "What do you want for it?"

"Don't vote for either one of us tonight," Noah said.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I could have said 'vote with me tonight' but I realize it'll take a lot more persuasion before I can get that out of Heather," Noah explained.

"Sure thing," Heather shrugged, closing her eyes and walking back to the statues. "Let's go find some eggs."

==CONFESSIONAL==

Heather held up her right hand, on which her fingers were crossed. "You can't tell when someone's fingers are crossed when they're underneath an egg," she giggled evilly. "I don't know if I'll be voting for either of these two losers, I just want the freedom to do so. But as of right now, there's someone else who's earned herself a kick out of the plane. In fact, she earned it weeks ago."

As Courtney gingerly climbed the giant statue of Leshawna, Alejandro could not help but wince sheepishly as he watched on. This awkwardness was heightened when Courtney pulled out a blue egg from Leshawna's ear.

"Looks like Leshawna's been holding out on you!" Courtney said as she began climbing down with the egg.

"Ah, it seems so," Alejandro awkwardly chuckled.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I confess, this giant statue garden is kind of like a look back on all of the people I took out," Alejandro shrugged, unremorsefully.

The two came upon two giant busts of Sierra and Ezekiel.

"Now there were some muy loco competitors," Alejandro pointed out.

"Please," Courtney scoffed. "At least you weren't on the same team as them. You don't know the half of it."

Alejandro smiled, as he began to climb the bust of Ezekiel. "No, I suppose I do not."

Alejandro reached into Ezekiel's nose at the same time Courtney reached into Sierra's ears. They pulled out a yellow egg and a purple egg, respectively - neither of theirs.

Courtney grew a devilish grin as she looked at Alejandro. "Whoops," she said, "accidentally" dropping the purple egg to the ground.

Alejandro grinned and dropped his yellow egg as well. "My, how clumsy of me!"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"It's the little things that really make a relationship," Courtney sighed dreamily. "Like ruining Heather's chances at invincibility together."

Noah had scarcely reached into the ear of the giant Izzy statue when a swarm of bats overwhelmed him, rushing out from Izzy's stone ear into the Polynesian air and nearly sending Noah careening to the ground.

Tyler gasped, while Heather laughed. Noah shot her an unenthused glare in response, before reaching back into the statue and pulling out a purple egg.

As he slid down, he nodded. "That's all of my eggs, and all of Tyler's."

"Ugh, great," Heather surveyed the remaining statues. "Where could there possibly be another egg for me?"

Noah raised an eyebrow as one statue in particular caught his eye. "I think I might have an idea."

Heather followed his glance and scoffed in disappointment. "You have got to be kidding me."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Look, I know full well that if Heather found her her last egg before me and Tyler, she'd be halfway up the mountain right now," Noah explained. "But I really can't afford to leave without her. She's clearly got the hots for Alejandro, and leaving them in the same general vicinity could get me thrown out of a plane later. I have to play my cards right."

Courtney descended from a giant bust of Cody - unsurprisingly located right next to the statue of Sierra. She clutched in her hand a yellow egg, seemingly a testament to Heather and Cody's budding pseudo-alliance when the latter had been eliminated.

This history mattered little to Courtney, who gleefully threw the egg to the ground, no longer even trying to hide the fact that said action was completely voluntary and not an accident in any way, shape, or form. She laughed. "Oops! Haha, my fingers are so slippery!"

"Allow me to fix that," Alejandro smiled, grabbing her hands in his own. The two smiled at each other, before Courtney's eyes fell beyond her boyfriend.

"Wow! Alejandro, look!"

Alejandro turned around to see what Courtney had been eyeing, and was met, face-to-face, with a massive bust of … himself.

"I kind of forgot that you were eliminated, too," Courtney noted, as she approached the statue.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I will never forget," Alejandro promised, glaring at the camera, before his gaze turned a bit more thoughtful. "And whoever made this large bust made my chiseled chin a bit too large."

As Alejandro and Courtney walked towards the familiar-looking giant bust, Noah led Tyler and a disgusted-looking Tyler towards it.

"Why on Earth would a giant statue of Ale-jerkward have my egg in it?" Heather asked.

"I think it's pretty obvious to the rest of us," Noah quipped, earning a glare in response.

"Uh, yeah, haha," Tyler laughed.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I don't get it," Tyler shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" The brief conversation between Noah and Heather was interrupted by Courtney's jeering tone of voice. Alejandro looked at the trio, and smirked.

"Heather, you have really joined forces with Noah? I am surprised, seeing as you are so much stronger than he is," Alejandro pointed out.

"I didn't join anyone," Heather shot back.

"Then why is Noah holding a yellow egg in his little makeshift basket?" Alejandro pointed out.

Heather grumbled out of lack of explanation for these arrangements, before turning her attention to Courtney. "I'm very happy for you Courtney. You went from dating a scuzzball to a scuzzball with social skills. What a noticeable change!"

"Don't you dare compare Alejandro to Duncan of all people," Courtney shot back.

"Uh, I'm here, too," Tyler said, to no response.

Courtney had reached the top of the statue, and reached into Alejandro's statue. As she felt an egg, she smirked confidently, which turned into a smile as she realized there were two eggs within the bust. She pulled out both - one green one and one yellow one.

As she stared at the yellow egg in revulsion, Alejandro winced awkwardly.

"Classy," Noah said sarcastically. "Got two different girls' eggs in your brain."

"It's not like I'm the one that put them in there!" Alejandro defended himself.

Not too far, Chris and Chef watched the events unfold on a television monitor. Chris shot his cohost a grin. "Wicked egg choice for the Alejandro statue."

"Thanks, man," Chef grinned back, as the two continued to enjoy the drama.

Back at the statue, Courtney grew a fiercely angry look on her face as she threw the yellow egg to the ground. Heather and Noah eyed the egg, almost in slow-motion, as it hurled to the ground, mentally preparing themselves to continue their search.

At the last second, however, Tyler leapt forward, clutching the egg with the tips of his fingers just before it hit the ground.

"Haha, aw yeah!" Tyler smiled.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Fingers of steel, baby!" Tyler held up his hands proudly.

"Tyler!" Courtney shrieked angrily. This shriek, especially coming from someone Tyler feared, caused the jock to lose his grip on the egg. By then, however, Noah managed to slide under his hands and grab the egg.

Noah stood up and placed the egg into his makeshift bag. He turned to Heather with a quizzical grin. "Your knights in shining armor await your command, m'lady," he quipped, taking a mock bow.

"Whatever," Heather rolled her eyes, though she did appear slightly relieved that there would be no need to continue their search. "Let's just go, already."

The trio took off, as Courtney slid to the bottom of the statue, grimacing. Alejandro approached her and put a comforting hand on her. "Do not frown, mi amor. You have your last egg, we can quickly catch up."

"Hm," Courtney noted, looking into the basket to see three green eggs and three blue eggs. "Right." As the two began to run, she looked at Alejandro uneasily. "Why was one of Heather's eggs in your statue?"

Alejandro shrugged. "Most of these egg placements seemed pretty random. Remember that you picked one of Heather's eggs from Ezekiel, and one of mine from Leshawna? Completely irrelevant."

This answer seemed to suffice for Courtney, who regained her usual look of intense determination as she led Alejandro closer to the cave.

Noah turned around to see the two catching up, and looked back at Heather and Tyler. "We should probably step it up!"

Heather rolled her eyes as they continued running towards the cave entrance. "I mean, Alejandro probably won't vote me or Tyler off if he beats us," she jeered.

Noah's eyes widened for a moment, but he shook off this comment.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"This isn't an alliance with Heather," he reminded himself. "Heather's talent is mind games like this one. Or, you know, the mind game she plays with herself where she pretends she's not in love with Alejandro."

The five teens sprinted into the mouth of the cave, with Alejandro and Courtney managing to overtake the others.

"Se you never, losers!" Courtney hissed with excitement, as she ran ahead, fueled by adrenaline.

Alejandro merely turned and faced Heather and Tyler in particular, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he continued running.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Courtney has been a bit unstable all season," Alejandro recalled. "Therefore, a finale with her would not be ideal. I would much prefer a finale battle against Tyler. The bumbling fool would trip and fall on his way to the million dollars, allowing me an easy victory. Noah is toast tonight. As for Heather …"

Alejandro appeared to genuinely reflect on his future with Heather, but shook himself out of it. "Uh, she will surely be jumping out of the plane in no time."

Alejandro's eyes widened as he looked ahead. "Mi amor," he called ahead to Courtney, "jump to the left!"

"What?" Courtney called back, confused. "Why?"

"Just do it!"

Alejandro leapt to the right, hugging the cave wall, clutching their basket of eggs, while Courtney leapt to the wall on the left. A few moments later, a massive boulder rolled right through, crushing the ground where they had been standing a mere few seconds prior.

"That was close!" Alejandro smiled at Courtney, who blushed.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I don't think Duncan would have even given me a 'heads up' in a situation like that!" Courtney crossed her arms, but her frown gave way to a dreamy smile. "Now that I'm dating an actual gentleman, I don't think I could ever go back!"

"Hey, do you guys hear something?" Tyler asked Noah and Heather, who ran nearby.

"Just your obnoxiously loud sneakers," Heather replied.

Noah, however, listened closely. "Sounds like something's rolling. And knowing Chris, that probably means -"

Noah was cut off by a boulder. All three barely managed to avoid getting crushed, only barely managing to save their makeshift eggs in the process. "- directly towards us," Noah finished his sentence in a deadpan.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Best case scenario, I win a million dollars," Noah shrugged. "Worst case scenario, I get thrown out of a plane and don't have to risk life and limb at the hands of a sociopath. I guess it's fine either way."

As the trio gathered their bearings, Tyler gasped. "Aw, oh no!"

"What's wrong?" Noah asked.

Tyler reached into his bag and pulled out one of his eggs, which had a large crack running through it. "One of my eggs cracked. We gotta go get another one."

"Are you serious?" Heather groaned impatiently.

"Now, now, I don't think we have to replace that," Noah pointed out. "It's not like you dropped it, or anything."

"Hey, yeah!" Tyler nodded. Scarcely a minute after the three continued, Tyler stubbed his toe in the dark, tripped, and cracked open the egg. Noah and Heather could not bear to look, until they heard Tyler ask a curious "huh?"

The egg had indeed broken, but instead of a yolky mess, it released a baby condor.

"Congratulations, you're a dad," Noah noted.

"Whoa!" Tyler gasped in shock.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I'm too young to be a dad!" the jock worried.

The bird looked curiously around the dark cave, before locking its eyes on Heather. Before Heather had a chance to utter a single word, the baby condor darted for her, attempting to build a nest in her hair.

Heather was not happy with this situation, and grabbed ruthlessly at the bird. "Could you maybe get your stupid baby off of me?"

"Aw, don't be so impolite," Noah said playfully. "Tyler Jr. likes you."

Heather glared at him in response.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"What is it with this show and torturing my hair?" Heather grumbled.

Alejandro and Courtney managed to make it to the end of the cave, running past Chef, who was preparing to launch another boulder into the cave. Alejandro handed the basket of eggs to Chris, who smiled as he accepted it.

"And Alejandro wins the first half of today's challenge!" Chris announced.

Alejandro winced as he turned to Courtney. "I am sorry, mi chica. I did not even think -"

"That's okay," Courtney pulled him in for a peck on the cheek. "You deserved to win."

"I'll try and make it easier for you to win the second half of the challenge, if I can in any way," Alejandro replied, returning the kiss.

"Ugh, no one cares," Chris pushed them away from one another. After a few minutes, Heather ran out of the cave, her perma-frown deepening as she took a gander at Alejandro and Courtney. Noah and Tyler ran up soon after.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"What was it Noah said at my elimination?" Alejandro pondered. "He was trying to act like a 'schemer?'" He took a moment to chuckle. "I don't know many 'schemers' who get last place in the final five."

"So nice of you to join us," Alejandro smiled at the group, with an eye on Noah specifically.

"Sorry to interrupt your PDA time," Noah shot back.

"Ah, no worries. Courtney and I will have plenty of time to relax with one another in first class later," Alejandro pointed out. He walked over and patted Tyler on the back as he said this. "Tyler, mi amigo. How gentlemanly of you to help out Heather and poor little Noah like this."

"Uh, thanks?" Tyler replied.

Heather probably would have complained, but was distracted by the little baby condor pestering her. "Ow! Ow! Tyler, call your stupid - ow! - bird to heel!"

"Okay! Heel!" Tyler called to the baby bird. "Come on! Heel! Uh, sit! Staaaay!"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I've only ever trained dogs," Tyler said. "Baby birds are a new one for me."

As the bird continued to poke Heather, Chris finally saw fit to interrupt the bickering. "Ahem! Now, I've had you gather eggs for a very special purpose. As Tyler has discovered, they're actually condor eggs. And they belong to her!"

With this, Chris gestured behind him, to a huge stone pillar, complete with a large condor nest on the top. The fearsome bird sat hunched in its nest, cawing loudly to ward off any who dare offend it.

"We're carrying her babies?" Tyler asked, horrified.

"Yup! And you could imagine she wouldn't be very happy about that," Chris noted. "Your final challenge today will be to climb the pillar, one at a time, and return your eggs to her nest. If any of your eggs break, you're out. If you get knocked down, but your eggs stay intact, you can try again once everyone's had their turn. Got it?"

"Ah, but Chris, what do I get as my reward from the last challenge?" Alejandro asked.

Chef tossed him a baseball mitt, some elbow and knee pads, and a catcher's faceguard. "You get these wicked safety provisions! Ought to make the peck of the mighty condor a bit less terrifying."

"Good luck up there," Courtney cooed, as Alejandro robed up.

"I will try and win us a first class voyage, mi amor," Alejandro replied.

"Ew! Okay, does anyone have any other concerns?" Chris asked the others.

"This seems as deadly as ever," Noah nodded.

"You're right, which is why we're going to spice things up a bit," Chris smiled, snapping his fingers and triggering the familiar chime of a bell. The final five contestants groaned. "Get climbing."

A playful guitar tune began, as Alejandro plucked his three eggs from Courtney's basket. "I'm tall. I'm tan. I'm young. I'm handsome."

Courtney blushed as her boyfriend began his ascent. "I'm coming to bring back your wee ones, so hush my sweet condor, let me win this one, please!"

As he made it to the top of the pillar, the angry mother condor began pecking him, to no effect. "So try, attack me, but I won protection. I don't feel that pecking, so save your objection!" Alejandro dropped off two of his eggs, and clutched only one more. "Hush now, condor, let me in the final four." As he prepared to clench victory, the condor rushed him, pushing him to the ground and splattering his final egg. "Aw, no!"

"Next!" Chris hurried.

"I, oh, I-I-I, I've got problems with condors, problems with condors," Courtney sang as she followed her boyfriend. "Why, oh why-y-y, is Heather not home? I ponder." Heather scoffed at this dig, as Courtney reached the top. "Trust me, oh-h trust me-e! I'm your best friend, and I'll never eat eggs again!" The condor seemed to sense this insult, and rushed Courtney in a similar way that she had done to Alejandro.

Courtney hit the ground with a thud, but the eggs landed comfortably in her basket.

"Good news!" Chris said. "You can have another chance later, but first!"

"I'm a dad now, so don't give me no flack!" Tyler sang as he climbed.

"'Cause his first chick just hatched out of its yolk sack," Noah noted.

"So, don't be a chore, let me in the final four," Tyler said, as the little bird departed from his grasp. "Tyler Jr., no, wait! I need you to win!"

"Next!" Chris rushed.

"I, oh, I-I-I," Heather began her ascent as Tyler and Noah both fell. "How I really hate these birdies, and I wanna live to see my thirties. These, these feathered jerks are bringing me strife." Heather turned her attention to the small, newly-hatched bird on her head. "And Tyler Two, I'm not your wife! For the last time - get a life!"

She ducked down in the nest to avoid the condor, but it did not seem interested in her. Instead, it scooped up the baby bird and soared around the island, leaving the nest open for Heather, who dropped her eggs and smiled. "Thanks my sweet condor, now I'm in the final four!"

Alejandro glared at Heather, while Courtney fully scowled. Noah and Tyler looked rather indifferent.

"Heather has won immunity!" Chris announced. "She's guaranteed a spot in the final four, unlike the rest of you losers!"

==CONFESSIONAL==

"It beats Alejandro or Courtney being safe," Noah shrugged.

As the group prepared to take off, Chef and the interns finally succeeded in righting the statue that they had initially knocked down. Unfortunately, the statue was overcorrected, and proceeded to fall the opposite direction, which triggered a domino-like effect as it slammed into the statue of Harold, which slammed into the statue of Bridgette, into the statue of Leshawna, and so on. Chef whistled innocently, heading back to the plane as quickly as possible.

On the plane, the group waited outside the confessional to cast their votes. Courtney was the first one out, nodding in confirmation with Alejandro, who smiled.

The latter then turned to Tyler, gesturing towards the bathroom door. "After you, mi amigo."

Noah frowned, having hoped to get a minute to talk with Tyler about his vote. The jock headed in to cast his vote, as Heather joined the rest of the group from victory class.

As though they had previously rehearsed this moment, Alejandro put his hand on Courtney, nodding confidently. "Do not let her get to you, or she will see you as a target, remember?" Alejandro murmured to Courtney, who nodded slowly.

Tyler exited the booth, not looking as worried as usual as he headed to economy class. Alejandro ushered in Noah. "I insist, after you."

"What a gentleman," Noah rolled his eyes, entering the confessional.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"I have no way of knowing how Tyler voted, or how Heather will vote," Noah sighed in anticipation. "I don't think Tyler's suspicious enough of Alejandro to vote him off, but that might not be necessary."

Noah exited the confessional, allowing Alejandro to gracefully step inside himself. Noah looked at Heather, who he was unable to read as she simply filed her nails.

"We've sure made it far together, huh?" Courtney attempted small talk.

"Oh yeah. Four weeks in a flying deathtrap, getting to do insane, deadly challenges around the world instead of on one island," Noah rolled his eyes. "It's been the opportunity of a lifetime."

"If you want your time here to end, it can end right now," Heather chimed in, shutting up Noah. She then turned her attention to Courtney. "And technically, only four of us have made it far together. Your man candy was booted out and only got to return because of some producer's trick. Hey, kind of like you!" Heather smiled, referencing the other girl's lawsuit-laced debut onto the previous season.

Courtney scowled. "I'll have you know those circumstances were extremely different!"

Heather smirked as Alejandro opened the door to the confessional. "Oh, save it for your hundred lawyers." She grabbed the door and snuck in, as Alejandro gave the fuming Courtney a questioning glance.

==CONFESSIONAL==

Heather's smirk remained on her face as she casted her vote. "Dead girl walking."

Chris stood at his usual podium, instead of the five remaining contestants. The only one who let his emotions get to him was Tyler, who looked nervous as always. Noah, Heather, Alejandro, and Courtney were more experienced with keeping a poker face, though the latter did spare the occasional glare towards Heather.

"These are certainly some interesting votes," Chris said as he shuffled through five passports.

"Haven't heard that one before," Noah said.

"Let's get on with it, shall we?" Chris ignored Noah's quip. "One vote for Noah." The host seemed to pause, delighting in the fact that his heckler received a vote.

"One vote for Courtney." Courtney rolled her eyes, shooting a glare at Noah.

"Another vote for Noah." Alejandro leaned back in his seat, smiling.

"Another vote for Courtney!" Alejandro's eyes shot open, and he jerked forward, confusedly realizing that one of his allies had voted for Courtney instead of Noah. His eyes darted from the anxious-looking Tyler to the bored-looking Heather, where they fell. He quietly pinched his temple.

"And the final vote … is … for …"

Noah's deadpan abandoned him in favor of outright nervousness, while Courtney fluctuated between fear and anger, frantically looking around the room to see if she could read anyone's expressions.

Alejandro looked back at her with concern.

Noah was too busy watching the elimination.

Tyler simply looked down, feeling guilty after another vote.

But Heather met Courtney's stare. The queen bee grew a devilish smirk, and waved at her as though to bid her farewell.

"... Courtney!" Chris turned the passports around, revealing two with Noah's face and three with Courtney's. "Courtney, you have been eliminated!"

"WHAT?!" The CIT stood up, fuming, as she looked at her fellow teammates.

"Mi chica, I will -"

"CAN IT!" Courtney pushed her boyfriend aside, marching over to Noah. "Couldn't you just accept that no one here likes you?!"

"Hm, enticing argument," Noah replied sarcastically, as Courtney marched over to Tyler.

"And what the heck is your problem? I thought you and Alejandro were allies?! Why did you vote for me?!"

"I'm sorry, although you … were kind of a bully, though," Tyler pointed out, before balling up at Courtney's scowl. "I'm sorry!"

Alejandro's jaw almost fell from his face as he realized what Tyler had admitted to - voting off one of his allies.

Courtney, however, seemed to be saving the bulk of her anger for Heather. "And you!"

"Who, little old me?" Heather smiled devilishly.

"You conniving, jealous little witch!"

Heather rolled her eyes. "I've been called worse."

Chris cleared his throat. "Courtney, the drop of shame awaits."

"Expect a personal defamation lawsuit, McLean," Courtney said to the host, as she uninterestedly grabbed a parachute. She turned her attention to Heather. "And you, too."

"I will win for you," Alejandro said, standing up.

"Thanks," Courtney said, though Alejandro clearly did not make her happy enough to subside her anger. "Just make sure Heather loses."

With this, Courtney jumped from the plane.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"Um, rude much? Noah and Tyler voted for her too," Heather crossed her arms. "Besides, she deserves it for cozying up to Alejandro. Even Bridgette warned her it would be a bad idea."

A calm smile came upon Chris' face. "She was probably the most annoying contestant still on this plane!"

"That's the closest thing to a compliment you've given us all season," Noah replied.

"You seem to have taken her spot," Chris said. "Anyway, Heather, for winning invincibility, you can take someone up with you to first class. Who do you pick?"

Heather teased each of the remaining guys with a curious glance, before confidently smiling. "I choose … Tyler."

"Seriously?" Tyler asked, eyes widening.

"Yeah, seriously?" Noah couldn't help but ask.

"Yup," Heather nodded. "Tyler's sitting up in victory class with me."

Tyler stood up to join Heather, as Noah and Alejandro glared at one another.

==CONFESSIONAL==

"It's pure strategy," Heather explained. "Leave the gullible Tyler with either Noah or Alejandro, and they probably mold his putty-like brain into an alliance to the final two. Besides, leaving Noah and Alejandro together is bound to be pretty funny."

==CONFESSIONAL==

"This is going to be a long flight," Noah deadpanned.

In the cockpit of the plane, Chris grinned ear-to-ear. "I knew there was a reason I liked Heather! What kind of game is she playing with Tyler? And, more importantly, will Noah and Alejandro kill each other in economy class? Who will be the next contestant to take the unholy leap? Find out, right here! On Total! Drama! World Tour!"

And so wraps up our adventures in Rapa Nui! Onto the final four, which officially catches us up to the number of contestants that are supposed to be competing at this point (for the first time since the very first chapter, if you can believe it).

We've got four more episodes ahead of us. I'm going to boldly attempt to get this fanfiction done by summer's end, though I'm not sure that's going to happen. We'll see, and I'll definitely try my best!

==SPOILERS AHEAD, BE WARNED!==

So it is time for us to bid a fond farewell to Courtney, who made it further in this fanfiction than she did in canon, so good on her! Ultimately, though, Alejandro's alliance has collapsed - not at a very opportune time for him, it should be noted - and Courtney's fierce determination, skill, competitiveness, rudeness, and closeness to Alejandro sealed her fate.

What will happen next? How will Alejandro attempt to worm his way out of trouble without a solid majority of contestants permanently on his side? Ironically, he's landed in the same boat as Noah, though I doubt he'd ever admit it.

It's worth noting that, at this point in the competition in canon, Alejandro and Heather are far closer, (orchestrating Duncan's elimination, taking each other to first class, etc) than they are here, where they are still at each other's throats and voting against each other. I wonder what will become of this?

I'll see you all in Drumheller!