Chapter 10:
The Ice Queen looked a little bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. Sitting there in her underwear, listening to Billy's wives explain what they had learned, you might have thought her carved from a block of ice. Ragnhild had never had a lot of luck reading Simone, and it was clear Katsumi was no better. For the Froyo Princess, the fear was palpable. She was terrified that she would lose her wonderful husband when they'd basically been given a second chance. She wanted her mother-in-law to tell her this was going to be ok.
As Katsumi rattled to the end of what she had observed, the gathering held its collective breath. One beat passed. Then two, and even Betty fidgeted as her daughter ruminated on what she'd just been told. Truth? Betty had been used to the idea that Billy would eventually take over the Empire, letting Finn enjoy a well-earned retirement. It was selfish. She knew it was selfish. At the same time, the family was being pulled apart, with endless crises pulling at them, and they needed Billy pulling his weight.
"He's to stop using his powers," Simone announced. "I'll talk to Drew about prescribing something for the sleep disruptions and headaches. I'll be working on something to deal with the attempts to control his thoughts." Ragnhild relaxed visibly, little realizing that her co-spouse hadn't relaxed. Katsumi's face was still troubled. She knew a thing or two about compulsions and invasive entities. The things her in-law was proposing were band-aids. Buying time, thought the kitsune. We're buying time. Shaking off the mood, the witch announced, "we'll take care of things on this end." She was one of the few family members without a set job right now. It was time to get her hands dirty.
"I'll be in touch," Simone announced. She nodded for the Nine-Tailed-Fox to banish the summoning spell. No sooner had the witch done so than Betty was in her face. "We have to go back," the older woman muttered. Simone glared at her. She knew her mother's quality. Much as Betty played at being hard-core and focused, deep inside she was a selfish person more focused on the things that mattered to her than the world around her. In cool tones, the Ice Queen said, "there are thousands of lives at risk in this city, mother. We will not abandon them to go rushing home when there's no need. Katsumi will manage. She'll have to step up." And that, to her, was that. The Ice Queen doused the lamp, plunging their quarters into darkness, saying all that needed saying with that gesture.
As the sun rose over the Candy Kingdom, Pat Rainicorn climbed out of taxicab in the courtyard of her family's new home. She'd been excited when Kim announced the purchase of this place. With all that was going on in the world, she'd been afraid for their future. The fortified walls of the compound–set within a veritable private community in the wild grasslands outside the Candy Capitol–had seemed like a haven. It felt as though, no matter what happened, they could survive here the rest of their lives if they had to.
Standing in the courtyard, looking up at the walls around her, the place now took on a sinister air. Their friends had been pushing for this since even before the business with the Lich. One of their more roguish acquaintances had told their social circle about the paranoid preparations that enabled the fabled Mafia Princess to survive the downfall of the old world. Brianna Manzella had lived a thousand years in the massive iron and stone fortress containing her fabled vaults. The idea had spread like wildfire among the wealthy of the civilized kingdoms, with hundreds of families building their own miniature vaults in an exclusive corner of the Candy Kingdom.
Pat had hectored Kim to do the same. She'd cajoled and pleaded and then shouted at him. He'd considered the idea to be pointless. His plan had always been to simply relocate to the Crystal Dimension with his grandparents, and to hell with Pat's family. She wasn't even sure if he planned to help anybody beyond Pat and Bronwyn. When he'd finally put down money to buy a vault, Pat had been delighted, and she'd set about filling it with everything they needed to live a long, comfortable life isolated from any disaster in the outside world. She'd planned to have all her immediate family come over from Party Bear Island–mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins, the better to be ready for an emergency. Now, Pat found herself wondering if her husband had been listening at all.
Kim had said nothing at all about whether or not she could or couldn't bring her family here. Truth? They really hadn't done a lot of talking lately. The purchase of the Vault was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and he hadn't discussed it with her. One moment, she'd been angsting over their daughter's antics. The next, he'd bought this place and moved their household, lock, stock and barrel.
Why?
Those three letters burned like the case of the clams she'd gotten years ago. She'd never been sure just how that had come about. She'd suspected Kim was cheating, but she'd had skeletons of her own that she wanted to stay hidden. Now, she suspected Kim was up to something far more dangerous than having a poke at another woman.
Squaring up, the party-bear went up into the house through its vault-like main door. Inside, she found herself confronted with the cramped hallways and dim lights. Her chosen furnishings were trying–and failing–to soften the hard edges of what was clearly painted-over concrete. There wasn't even plaster or paneling in here–the better to resist the predations of undead.
Calling out to her husband, the curvy bear-woman strode through the halls, her mind alive with fear. Why did he buy a vault? Really? What was going on? What did he fear? Was there something going on with his grandparents? Was that it? A part of her feared the answer. Ethel and Bob Rainicorn weren't the sort of people to kick their grandkids out of their lives. If Kim had bought a vault, it wasn't out of a need to seek safety from a world-ending threat. The worry he was facing was something more immediate, and that idea made her very nervous.
Arriving in the master suite, Pat set down her bags and turned towards the walk-in-closet where she saw her husband standing before his mirror. Kim was trying on crowns of all things. Pat felt heat come to her face. Her husband was trying on crowns, when the only man capable of appointing a prince or princess was the very same man he was feuding with.
Turning to face his spouse, Kim Kil Wan demanded, "where have you been?" Wearing a frown of her own, Pat rumbled, "trying to talk our daughter down from... what she's doing." Kim shrugged. He was starting to see that as a lost cause. More to the point, he was starting to see that his asshole uncle had something of a point. Why have just one? When he was a prince, pesky laws about bigamy and divorce wouldn't apply to him. He could keep a slew of mistresses, sire as many children as he needed on them, and pick the one he wanted to have his wealth when he was gone.
On her side, Pat Rainicorn fought down stark terror as she realized that her husband had gone even deeper into his insane schemes while she'd been gone. Did he really think he was going to challenge Finn? She'd seen the power her ex in-law had in his hands firsthand. She'd ridden on that opulent train–a transport every bit as rich as the one Kim owned, but with one very important difference. That train was crawling with armed guards who looked to smash anybody who offended their master. Those guards had piled off to inspect every bridge and tunnel the train came across before their master was allowed to go through, and they'd set a very bad tone the whole time.
She'd watched Finn's tame cyborgs set up a powerful energy source in the middle of nowhere, bringing machinery in from their homeland by the ton to get the work done. A second heavily-guarded train had brought in the reactor itself, with Finn's son–the ice-wizard–on watch over it. Finn had a flying castle. He had war-machines that obeyed his every command. And what did her husband have? His idiot friends and his own hubris–and many of those friends were already dead.
As she watched, Kim Kil Wan turned his wrist to glance at his watch. The dog-icorn smiled. It was almost show-time in the Jungle Kingdom. He'd been a little worried when he learned that Fionna was down there. At the same time, he'd seen videos of the terrifying war-machine that Gumbald and his family had constructed. Let Fionna try to stop that with a sword!
Far to the south, the Bad Bunny stuck her face out of the carriage she was riding in. The wild jungles of her in-law's kingdom had long since given way to the blistering desert sun. Somewhere far to the east was the Grand Cannon with the small army that protected it from molestation. Much nearer to hand were the canyons and hills that marked the desolation where Abieuwa's peeps drew the radioactive dirt from the earth that they refined into finished nuclear fuel. In a time not long past, the idea would have shocked Fionna Mertens-Petrikov to the point of fascination. In the now, the tall blonde's mind wasn't so much on the fascinating idea of transforming innocuous rock and dirt into something dangerous as it was on the terrifying things that Bonnibel's relatives could do with that fuel.
She'd had a fruitful conversation with her sister-in-law that morning. It was funny, in its way. Abieuwa Mertens was supposedly older and wiser, but she frequently did things that made no sense at all. Fionna had slowly begun to understand the things that drove Billy's wife. Sitting on her father's throne when he was absent had given her no choice in the matter. There were currents that swirled around every crown on Ooo. Peeps wanted things, and some of those peeps had the money and influence to get their way, even when the things they wanted were stupid. Kim Kil Wan was one such man. Only a fool ignored the games of men like Fi's former cousin.
The tall woman had begun to have ugly epiphanies over the last few months as she spent more and more time as 'New Fionna'. She'd come to hate that term and what it represented, but she'd begun to see that she was a different person–older, definitely wiser, and edging towards cynical. Kim had threatened her family on occasions too numerous to mention. He'd hassled her parents to protect his sister, with no thought about how that impacted other people. Fionna had been oblivious to what was going on. She'd only seen her family growing apart, and she'd been unable to understand why. The Bad Bunny wasn't sure what to do with her new understanding of the world, but one thing was certain. She'd become all the more devoted to making sure that men like Kim didn't get their way.
As the tall woman worked her way through what she was going to do here, high above, an airship came wafting down out of the sky. Aboard the ship, Jay Mertens sat staring out one of the large bay windows at the ground below, praying that none of his siblings were there on the ground. He was committed to this. He was about to commit a terrible crime in the name of selling the lie that he was working for Gumbald. He was getting closer. He'd spent a fair bit of time with Chicle these last couple of days, answering the strange youth's questions. The real prize was Gumbald, though. He had a sense that with the madman gone, this whole business would come apart. He could redeem his mistakes, if only in part.
You have to get through this moment, he thought. He had to get through this moment to the other side. Yes, this was a terrible crime, but it was in service to a much greater good. Could he convince them of his good intentions, he could get to Gumbald, and Jay was determined to finish this.
"Three thousand feet," announced the man operating the tiller, "straight and level. The caverns are in sight." Jay grimaced. This was it. They were going out the side of the airship on something called a parachute. They would land almost on top of the caverns housing the terrible fuel that the gum-people sought. The three war machines they'd brought would keep any soldiers at bay, while Chicle went in and secured a portion of the treasure. It wouldn't be much. They simply didn't have the time or soldiers for a protracted battle. Gumbald only hoped for enough fuel to build enough additional iron soldiers to let him make a stand. If Jay got his way, that stand would be his last.
Motion out the corner of Jay's eye announced Chicle heading for the door. Swallowing his fear, Jay turned and followed. Both men were kitted up in the heavy pack that would let them reach the earth far below without being splattered on the ground. At least that was the theory. Jay had been pondering what he would do if his parachute were to fail–or if he was betrayed. Could his powers enable him to cheat gravity? He'd been pondering the idea.
Chicle grinned back at the stranger. This was it. They'd see if this stiff was really all in or if he was just talk. Chicle wasn't sure which it was. The guy kept to himself, which wasn't all that odd, but it did make it hard for Chicle to believe that he was really turning his back on his peeps. Now, though, he'd have to put up or shut up.
Toggling the control on his belt, the rogue candy-person sent the three iron warriors dropping out of the cargo hold. As planned, the war machines plummeted to the ground like boulders before finally activating their thrusters. Chicle wasn't far behind. With one last grin and a jaunty wave for the stranger, he stepped into the air over the target, falling and falling before pulling the cord on his 'chute. Praying as he'd never prayed before, Jay followed.
He'd been coached on this. Count. Count down in his head. Count slow. Pull the cord. Into that, the halfbreed mixed a lot of praying, much cursing, and a fair bit of breath-holding. He got an idea of just why that last was a very bad idea as the parachute jerked him to a halt much like when their plow-beast got the better of him the first time he tried to plow the field. His breath exploded from his body, causing him to see sparks before his eyes for a few moments. And then the ground was rushing up at him. Tuck and roll, Jay, he thought. Tuck and roll. Tuck-and-roll. Tuckandroll. The impact wasn't nearly as hard as the opening of the parachute, but it hurt, and he found himself being dragged across the dusty ground. Snapping his knife out of his belt-sheathe, the pillow-person cut the 'chute free, letting it blow away with the wind.
The terrifying war machines landed with a roar of superheated radio-active exhaust. Men of the Jungle Kingdom scattered before them. Any that didn't scatter were slaughtered mercilessly. The terrifying iron giants hacked their way through the guards patrolling near the entry of the uranium mines. Cowering behind a wooden cart a member of the Jungle Guard drew his phone from his grass skirt and began sending frantic texts to his superiors begging for help.
Chicle strode onto the scene as if he owned the place, issuing instructions to the men who'd landed with him. They had limited time to get into the caverns, secure the fuel, and get gone. The candy-person directed traffic, sending some of Gordon Wells' men to get the radiation-protection system set up. A second set of men took up guard positions, while a third set up the containment to house their stolen nuke-fuel.
Blipping onto the scene, Fionna the Human Girl gutted the man closest to the cavern entrance with a sword of pink crystal. The startled agents spun to face her, but the Bad Bunny was already moving. Jumping up onto one of the men, she executed a neat spin around his neck and shoulders, throwing him to the ground. One of his mates raised a dart pistol and let fly, but Fi was already moving, dodging his shots as she raced towards a third man. As Chicle's jaw dropped in shock, she ran behind another of his men, causing the gunman to shoot his partner. A woman in a dress was cutting down Gordon Wells' highly trained agents as if they were nothings.
Two of the agents ran for their lives, dodging behind the crate full of equipment. A third toggled his rifle to full-auto and sprayed steel darts at the leggy blonde. Twisting and turning, Fionna Mertens dodged that hail of death and even deflected some of it back at the gunman with her swords. The gunman screamed as steel fragments ripped through his body. As he slumped to the ground, Chicle decided it was time to go all in. Drawing the control box from his pocket, the rogue candy unleashed his iron warriors.
As Fionna mounted the slope at the entry to the storage cave, conscious of just what measure of danger there was inside, the three terrifying giants dropped in around her on pillars of radioactive flame. The trio leveled their deadly spear guns at her as the world held its collective breath. Summoning the power inside her, the Bad Bunny covered her body in pinkish crystal. Let's do this, she thought.
The first giant leveled its spear-gun and let fly. A wall of rock shot from the ground, catching that bolt of malice. Dodging around the resulting shower of stone, the Bad Bunny raced towards the iron-giant. Chicle was prepared for that. They'd shored up all the weak-points. A sword would do nothing.
Indeed, Fionna was well aware that the usual slice-and-dice would fail on this kind of foe. She'd been pondering the possibility of facing a metal war-machine like the ones her father fought in the far east. Racing between the giant's steel legs, the pretty blonde jumped and darted up the giant's back. "Shoot her," shouted Chicle! "She's on your back! Shoot her!" The war-machine's companions let fly, blasting their brother through the chest and head. Fionna blipped herself away as the reactor in the robot's belly began to melt down into a puddle of radioactive goo.
Meanwhile, Fionna raced over to the second giant, and the third was already pivoting towards it, firing at the Bad Bunny throughout the turn. "Stop," shouted Chicle! "Stop!" But it was much too late. The war-machine blasted its mate in the face, causing the war-machine to stop in its tracks. He had just one war-machine left. "Do something," howled Chicle, as he turned to Jay! "She's ruining everything!"
Jay had been doing a great deal of soul-searching as he watched his little sister massacre Gordon Wells' bad men. What was he going to do? This whole business had been based on a hope and a dream. He'd deluded himself into thinking that he could get through this without having to confront one of his siblings. Now, what was he to do?
Fionna showed no signs of stopping. Two robots down. Now, she was looking for ways to take down the last one. As the machine flailed, the Bad Bunny juked, ducked, and dodged, hanging far tougher than Chicle and his family had believed would be possible. The boy-genius had never seen anything move as fast as that! It shouldn't be possible, but impossible was in full-effect today as his robot's gun clicked on an empty chamber.
Shimmering disks appeared in the sky, a dozen in number, and ravening bursts of flame came shooting out, much like the blasts of flame that had burned the old village in Pillow World. Jay couldn't bring himself to harm his own blood, but he had to do something. Those blasts of flame slammed into the ground around Fionna, hemming her in before the ugly metal man that had been trying to smash her. The robot's flailing fists clipped the bunny-girl on the head, knocking the strange ears off her head and cracking the pink crystal guarding her skull.
Fionna spat blood, but she was already thinking ahead. As the glowing discs of light spat flaming death once more, the Bad-Bunny dodged behind the towering robot, letting it take the brunt. The death machine crumpled, as its heavily armored joints fused and locked up. Chicle screamed his frustration.
Broad hips wig-wagging, Fionna Mertens-Petrikov strode towards the dweeb, declaring, "you're the little shit that's caused so much trouble today." It was clear where her mind was. Chicle stared at the glittering pink crystal in her right hand. The pretty woman was going to kill him. She was going to cram that three feet of glistening crystal down his throat and out his asshole. "Kill her," shouted a panic-stricken Chicle! "Kill her, now!"
Jay Mertens gathered himself, focusing his mind on the ugly sights from his old home. And then Fionna suddenly found herself standing in the midst of a burned-out landscape. All around them were burnt-out trees, shattered homes, and smoldering fields, while a smoky haze obscured the sky. Jay called out to his younger sister, "Fionna!"
The tall blonde turned to find her lanky half-brother standing up on a hill. He was dressing better. Today he wore a high-necked crimson jacket over coal-black trousers and boots in glistening black. He almost looked as though he were stepping up and becoming what the family needed him to be. Except. Glancing around her at her brother's handiwork, the Bad Bunny announced, "neat." Her expression suggested she was curious and even amused. In short, she was anything but intimidated, reminding Jay that his siblings had been 'doing this' for years, while he'd only ever been in a couple of fights.
In cool tones that spoke of the 'thing' she'd become, Fionna announced, "we're gonna' talk about this, big brother. This is stupid, and we both know it." "I need him to succeed, Fionna," the tall man responded. "I have reasons. I won't talk about them, but I need him to finish his work here. Nobody else needs to be hurt." "Just the people his daddy will kill with those machines," Fi retorted. The leggy blonde began to move. She was graceful and smooth–deadly, just like the man who'd raised her.
"I don't want to hurt you," Jay rumbled. Fionna snorted as if to say 'can you?' Jay flushed. He knew this was iffy. His opponent was one of the more dangerous of his siblings, possibly more dangerous than the Ice Prince. "I'll be sure to remember that when I'm smacking you in the head," Fi rumbled. It was on then, with Jay hurling bolts of flame. Spinning and dodging, Fionna danced her way through those strokes of fire. In the blink of an eye, she was on top of him, her fist coming around in a haymaker. Instinctively Jay created space between them. Too close. Fionna, who was hardly winded, was already in motion again. Get off the X. Create opportunity. Keep your opponent guessing.
Rage wasn't going to help him here. He'd known that. His father had told him that. Anger was a weapon for one's foe. He had to think. He needed to start thinking. Fionna made her move, charging up the hill. She would use her strange power to blip across the last little bit of space. Jay timed his move and hemmed her in with walls of earth. He only had to keep her there until she passed out. It would be over then.
The tall man counted. How long? She was young and strong. She could hold her breath a while. He didn't want to kill her. She was his flesh and blood. As he was pondering whether to drop the bubble of earth, suddenly a hole appeared in it, the earth flowing like water. Fionna stepped through. "Decent," she declared, giving him a jaunty salute. "How," Jay babbled? "Earth," Fi replied. The earth moved and shifted under her feet. It appeared even in his own illusory slice of Pillow-World, the earth obeyed his sister's command.
I just have to keep her here, Jay thought. How long? He didn't know how long Chicle would take to secure the deadly nuclear fuel. Fi had killed many of Gordon's men. Did Chicle have enough men to get the job done? Could he move the fuel with the robots smashed? He was wool-gathering. And Fionna was deadly. As his mind returned to the thread at hand, the Bad-Bunny blipped herself to the top of his hill and clocked him across the jaw, slobber-knocking him down off the hill. Jay recovered as she would have followed it up with a roundhouse kick to put him down for the count.
As he dodged away–conjuring space between them–Jay began to realize that his cunning plan was unraveling. He'd counted on using his control over Jay-World to beat her. He controlled everything here. At the same time, he hadn't mastered intrinsic control over this place. Unlike his sister, he'd dipped out on the Wolf's training. He was having to concentrate to keep his hold on things. A lot. This wasn't going to work.
New idea, Jay, he thought, as he banished the reality-marble. He could conjure pieces of it. Now, he hurled bolts of malice at his sister, forcing her to duck and dodge. He didn't have to hit her. He just had to keep her moving. It was just like before–keep Fionna occupied. Buy time for Chicle to steal the fuel.
Chicle was terrified to see the deadly warrior woman blink back into existence not far from where she'd been when she'd threatened him. His men had gone up into the caverns to snatch some nuke-fuel out of the storage inside. Their agents had said the casks were a thousand yards down in the caverns, and they'd only been gone minutes. Raising the radio to his lips, the frightened candy-person shouted, "hurry up! Hurry up! She's back!"
Fionna knew the score as well as her brother. He was delaying her. For whatever reason, he was helping this shitbag steal nuke-fuel. Fi knew that whatever Gumwad's family wanted the fuel for wasn't going to be good for Ooo. At the same time, her brother was dangerous enough that she couldn't take her eyes off the ball for more than a moment. It was time to go all-in.
The Bad-Bunny dropped to one knee, even as she raised a half-dome of earth in front of her to block Jay's flame-bolts. Reaching deep inside herself, Fionna took hold of the strange power her husband had granted her, calling on the earth itself. As Jay pounded the earthen wall around her, Fionna caused the earth to flow, filling the cavernous tunnel with an enormous stone plug three-hundred feet long, sealing off the storage tunnels and their precious nuclear fuel from the reach of the evil men who wanted it. As the rumbling of the earth ceased, Fionna collapsed flat on her face, leaving Jay with a problem on his hands.
Well, how was THAT for a fight?