The obsidian road, though straight as an arrow, tipped left in his dry eyes. The yellow streetlights blinded, the white road markings along the highway railings looked squiggly and twofold, twitching the tires as they kept swerving off course at 90 miles an hour. Naruto saw triple, squinted his eyes shut at every oncoming headlight, and all he wanted was to close them and never open. Just as his airy head let itself lean back and eyes fluttered shut, the wail of police sirens closing in from three lanes away jerked him to his senses.
He slammed on the brakes as they passed and screeched to a halt 100 yards of tire burn later. The howling sirens sped by fading into the distance behind. Gripping the wheel with whitening knuckles, Naruto stared into the night feeling fright creep up his spine. There was only one place worth a visit so close to the last ramp off the highway leading into quasi-countryside. He would never beat them there. Sitting in his idling car, he patted his pockets down only to realize he'd left his phone behind. That, and all his dearest friends.
He'd left them for dead, and if anyone was alive, they'd survived only to hope they hadn't. They'd find him too. And when they did, they'd find Gaara. They'd all either die tonight or hang from the noose another day.
Naruto laid his hand on the gear stick but didn't know which way to shift it. He should go back. He'd penned his friends into hell and should go down with them. Gaara still had a chance, he could run and hide and remember him as a man who didn't betray the whole platoon just to lose the war where the world felt safest. Eyes scrunched, Naruto put the car into reverse. He had the chance to do the right thing. Only a lowly devil would run from it.
I'm headin' to hell anyway, he shamefully thought, shoved the car into first gear and drove on.
"Where's the mop? Anyone seen the mop? I swear I left it right here—"
"Whoa, whoa! Don't touch that, it's soaked in acid. That shit'll melt your hand right off."
"Ouch. Fuck, man. Didn't think to mention that sooner?!"
"Hey, boys? The mop? I need it to—"
"Well don't go fuckin' touchin' shit with your bare hands. Nothin' here's safe."
"Why's there an eyeball on the stove?"
"The mop. Anyone seen the—"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! My fingers are fuckin' fallin' off. Stop askin' 'bout the fuckin' mop! Nobody's seen—"
Kankuro swatted Sai on the back of his head. "Watch your mouth. Apologize, fagtwit."
Rubbing his budding bruise, Sai mumbled a mocking apology. Haku's sweet heart settled for it, his rosy lips stretching wide as Kankuro handed him the coveted mop. Given a kind smile and gentle pat on the head, he wandered off with his daringly white apron and bright pink rubber gloves to scrub the very top of bloody kitchen cabinets he hadn't reached on tiptoe.
Suigetsu toyed with the stray eyeball — it was lightly trampled, kind of gross and moist but quite a pretty hue of spring sprout green — and challenged Kankuro to a game of catch and throw. Sai, squeegeing curdled blood stuck under baseboards, wiped sweat off his flushed face.
"Cut that shit and move this cow outta the way", he snarled, nudging the leftovers of a woman with his good foot.
Kankuro fumbled to catch the soaring eyeball, shoved her aside and threw it back. "Wanna bet on how long before we drop it?"
Suigetsu leapt left to catch it. "Ten minutes."
"Ha, weak. Twenty", Kankuro wagered. His cockiness nearly cost him the next catch. "Shit, that was close. Let's go with fifteen."
"Good fuckin' God", Sai hurled the squeegee and from midair nicked Suigetsu's turn to throw, "Grow up."
The men gasped, begging him not to let the eye loose. "No, no, no! Don't let it touch the floor."
Sai paused, squinted, cocked his head and hummed, "Twenty-five."
Suigetsu and Kankuro swapped tempted looks. "Eh, what the hell. Twenty five, easier than a dead hooker."
"Y'know, I don't think the squeegee's gon' save this ground zero", sighed Sai, tossing the eye to Kankuro.
To give the game a twist, he flicked it like a nickel. "I'll figure it out."
"Yeah? What you got? A hardcore cleanin' lady?" Suigetsu paused to frown at the eye. "Ew, it's...oozing."
Kankuro peeled off the string of something sticky stuck to it. "Kind of."
Sai stepped on his bad foot to not drop the eye. It was worth the ache. "You think the fucked up love birds' okay?"
"They better."
"I wonder where they went."
"Shouldn't we be a lil more worried?"
"Listen, man", Kankuri sighed, "Don't know 'bout you but this is the worst night of my life; I've been shot, got no clue if my bro's dead in a ditch somewhere, Naruto fucked off halfway down to hell, this dump's a slaughterhouse and the best we can do is play catch with some dead fucker's eye. So throw the damn thing and let me pretend the next time I see those guys ain't on a steel slab."
It came with guilt, but he was right. Mourning the worst case scenario based on a nihilistic hunch wouldn't tip reality one way or another. Placebo was the cheapest figment of ease. They'd stick to it as long as they dared.
"Okay, how many minutes left?" Sai asked to clear the air.
"Eighteen."
Suigetsu hoisted his hand to toss the eye. "Let's pray the tiny twink don't walk in. He'll beat us dead with the goddamn mop—"
A shrill sound silenced him. Deafening sirens wailed outside, tires screeching to a halt in front of the house as red-blue lights spilled through the blinds. Suigetsu, panicking on the spot, hurled the eyeball down the hall like a hot potato. Haku hurried in clutching his mop.
"What's going on?"
Kankuro brushed him off. "The fuckin' pigs are here. What the fuck?! Now what?!"
"Shit. I, uh…" Sai breathed deep. "I'll handle 'em. Haku, kill the lights. Kankuro, drag these dead motherfuckers outta here. Suigetsu, drop all blinds and check the gates. Stand by and keep your mouths shut. Don't fuck this up."
The men scattered. Heavy steps walked up to the door, sturdy knuckles knocked on it. Sai bided his time as someone pulled out of bed in early hours would've. He quickly washed his hands and face, messed up his hair and looked around for something to cover up with. Though a tad sour to answer the door wrapped in Haku's baby pink, full-length sakura patterned silk robe, he pulled a sweet smile for a rather handsome officer.
"Good evening, officer." Strong cross-draft running through the house slammed shut every open door along the dark hallway. He didn't bat an eye. "How can I help you?"
A little leery, the officer tried to peek behind him. "We got a request for a wellness check."
Sai's shallow dimples struggled. "From who?"
"The tip came in anonymous."
"Uh-huh." No peeved neighbor would've cared for their wellness. "Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Goodnight."
The officer wedged his foot between the door. "Would you mind if we take a look around?"
Sai worried about the other officer — some inches too short to see over the tall fence — loitering uncomfortably close to the backyard gates. A faint shadow she seemed to not notice peeked from under it, stayed for a second, then quietly drew back. Sai trusted the gates were locked.
"Oh, I'm afraid not. You see, I'm only house sitting, I wouldn't dare let anyone in without the owner's permis—"
He choked on his words, gaze steering past the officer, up to the gutter and limp arm hanging over it.
"Uhm, do—do you have a warrant?" he stuttered, wide eyes nailed to the dead body slowly slipping off the roof.
"Well, no, but—"
Lights thuds slinked across the roof. The overhanging body was subtly dragged away just as the officer glanced its way. Sai wasn't sure what to tell him.
"Raccoons." He'd cooked up better lies. "You should see the trash."
A budding idea paused him. Trash, he thought, but smiled it off. Officer Dreamy seemed to suspect something was amiss, his snoopy partner wandered around the yard, and Sai was running out of smarts to talk his way out.
"You know what?" He tugged on the officer's collar. "You I could invite in. Staying in this big house all alone is getting a little boring. I wouldn't mind an hour in cuffs."
The man swatted his hand away. "This is highly inappropriate."
Sai pouted, "I could make you a very happy man for one night."
"I could make you sleep in a cell for two."
"Oh-kay." His hand snapped back. "Well, if that's all—"
The man scrunched his nose. "Do I smell smoke?"
"Uh, yeah, I—I'm not a very good cook—"
A faint rustle came from down the hall. The officer reached for his pistol, ready to draw.
"Do you have unwanted visitors? I have enough reason to request a warrant. If you don't let us in, I will come back with one."
Sai's taut smile shivered. He didn't know what to do but buckle. "Okay, uh, how about I give the owners a call? Just to check with them."
The officer eyed him up and down, peeked into the dark house and slowly nodded. Sai fumbled out his phone. Keeping up a tense grin, his shaky thumb dialed but hesitated over the call button. He didn't want to call. Anxiety pinched his chest and beaded into sweat on his brow. Feeling his smile stumble, he called before it'd drop. A low, ever-unkind voice picked up.
"What do you want, boy?"
Sai put on a sweet show. "Uh, hi. So sorry to call this late, but—"
His tame tone and struggle to sound a little shy of middle class was an embarrassment even to him. The ear at the other end knew something was off.
"What did you do?"
Sai had never felt so cold sweating. "Well, there's a bit of a...situation going on. I have two officers here asking to come in for a wellness check. I was just wondering—"
"How bad is it?"
"Uh, I don't know, it's—"
"How bad?"
Pinched in the wrong spot, Sai spun around to hiss, "Well, I'm callin' you, ain't I?"
Closely watched, he waved a lazy hand at the pair listening in.
"Are you alone?"
"No."
"Got real men around?"
Sai strained his eyes to not roll them around. "Yes."
"Go for it."
"Are you...are you sure?"
"Where are you?"
"Konoha", he whispered, hoping to go unheard. It would've stood out as odd.
Muffled conversation on the other end left him squirming restlessly.
"Man up for an hour. Send me the address, I'll be there." A pregnant pause built up to a cruel grin. "Ask the nice officers in."
Hung up on, Sai slowly put aside the phone. Every hair on his body stood on end, a familiar sourness tickled his throat, but the patient officers were served a beaming smile. Sai creaked the door open into grim darkness.
"Welcome."
They trod in lightly. As they stood some steps down the hall, Sai flicked on the lights.
Dead ahead of them towered Kankuro calmly pointing a gun. By his side, hanging on to his arm waved Haku bearing a gentle smile. Behind them, next to Sai, was Suigetsu holding two pistols. One he had fixed on the officers, the other he handed to Sai who shyly took it. The surrounded duo, two hardened heroes who'd seen it all, let their faith in goodness slowly fade as their eyes wandered from there to hell.
Bright crimson blood that'd dried black in the few spots it wasn't slathered on an inch thick shrouded the home from its floors to the very top of walls, some specks spotting the ceiling. Bullet holes ran throughout the house. Walls had been kicked through, pitchy burn marks had blackened the ceiling and messy tracks of dragged bodies parted the pooled blood. Two had been left in plain sight by the stairs. The stink of bleach stung from spots that'd been cleaned and tepid wind wheezed through broken windows, mixing the many smells lingering around. The floor in that very spot felt strangely warm under their feet, as if touched by fire from below.
The team of two didn't move, didn't speak. Neither one drew a gun. Kankuro removed their weapons, radios, cuffs; anything that may lend them a hint of bravery, and cocked his gun towards the kitchen.
"Sit down."
Dazed, they didn't think to budge, so Haku gently nudged them on the move. Kankuro could see the brewing plot in their stiff shoulders and snarled, "Touch the boy and I gun you down."
Wisely they didn't and sat down. One of them laid his elbow on the table. Blood soaked it, he drew it back disgusted. Their gazes snooped around too closely, Suigetsu thought.
"Eyes on the floor."
They bowed their heads wishing they'd made out what was whispered in the hallway.
"What the fuck were you thinkin'?" Kankuro growled at Sai.
"I got it", he mumbled.
"You got it?"
"Yes", Sai hissed. "Just, give it an hour."
Kankuro bit back his seething tongue. There was no going back, so all he could do was trust Sai. Kankuro gave him a light shove.
"You too, sit down. All of you."
They gathered around the table. Suigetsu sat opposite the officers, Sai next to him and Kankuro nearest to them, Haku on his lap. They'd run out of chairs. Haku couldn't help but lament how unprepared the house was for hosting guests.
"This is mind numbing", Sai groaned ten minutes in. "Can't we do somethin'?"
"Like what?"
"I dunno. Play somethin'?"
"Listen, fairycake. Look the wrong way for a second and we'll be playin' tag with these two."
Smelling a spat, Haku suggested, "How about a game of cards?" He clapped his hands excitedly at the officers. "Oh, you could play too!"
The timid pair swapped leery looks, ticking off Suigetsu. "Eyes on the fuckin' floor."
Their heads snapped down. Feeling bad for the boy, Kankuro sighed, "Whatever, get the cards."
With a happy hum, Haku scurried off. Sai pondered what to bet on. "What we playin' for? I'm broke."
"Loser bags the cut-up cunts in the backyard?" Suigetsu suggested, brushing off the low whimper from one officer's quivering lips.
"Deal", Kankuro lit a cigarette, "Winner gets twinky's job."
"And lets the princess off the hook?"
"Unless you gon' cook for me, yeah."
Haku strutted back in. "Oh, are you hungry?"
"The well done guys downstairs looked like dinner to me, so go figure."
"I'll make something yummy", Haku hummed, gathering the frozen goods off the floor. They shouldn't go to waste. "And you two? You must be hungry working such a late shift."
The officers slowly shook their heads. The warm welcome was beginning to feel eerie.
"How about some tea?"
"No, thank you."
Haku's lips bent into a pout. "Oh...Okay."
Peeved to see the boy upset, Kankuro put his gun to the ill-mannered man's head. "You sure 'bout that?"
With a vexed twitch on his mouth, the man mumbled, "Yes, please."
The quiet one, whose stony face shifted neither here nor there, nodded. Haku beamed, paused, and let his ever-sweet grin settle into a strange uncanny-valley smile. For a split second, he no longer stood out from the rest.
"Coming right up."
He woke up to his left ear ringing. Eyes fluttering open, Gaara groaned cracking his stiff neck. His head ached as if wrapped in rubber bands. All of him ached, but his wrists stung like something thin and sharp and tight was sawing into them. Squinting away from the tableside lamp, he tried to turn. The something thin and sharp and tight around his wrists tugged him back.
Temari walked in on Gaara squirming to get loose from the four zip ties she'd bound his hands to a radiator pipe with. The pipe creaked, one zip tie snapped, but he stayed put and she stern.
"Take 'em off."
"No."
"Take 'em off, you fuckin' who—"
"Watch your mouth, boy. You beat the nerves out of me, I'm one last away from giving you something to cry about."
Gaara spat her way. She struck him across the face until he no longer bothered to turn his throbbing head. As praise, she offered him a glass of water. He wouldn't even look at it.
"Drink", Temari insisted. He rebelled, so she softened. "Please."
He gave in, not to please her but because his throat felt dry as cheap gin. She helped him drink and dodged the kick she knew he'd throw. Gaara glowered up at her.
"You can't keep me here forever."
"Watch me."
Did she not care? "Kankuro's dead. Let it go."
She did, but hid it. "And I should let you go too?"
A numbness had draped over Gaara's heart. It didn't ache like it should've. As long as it begrudgingly beat, he didn't want it to.
"Let me go."
"No." He wasn't asking to be let loose from the ties. She knew that. "I can't. He wouldn't want it eith—"
"Shut up!" His eyes fell shut. "Don't talk 'bout him. He's gone."
Temari sat down and brushed his cheek. "You don't know that."
He did and didn't. Naruto had stayed to beat invincible odds, sent a sorry goodbye when they'd triumphed. But it didn't feel like he was gone. Gaara had always imagined he'd know, that he'd feel it in the first breath he'd take after Naruto's last, somehow sensed it, maybe heard it whisper in the wind or seen it shift in the stars and shed a virgin tear. Just known it in a highfalutin way poetry promised. But he didn't and it felt off. Unfinished.
Temari saw how lost and lonely he felt. Maybe he needed something familiar, she thought. Something safe that'd take him back to the few tender moments they'd shared. She gave in to a side of her that felt and tasted ancient. If only for a moment, she let them both pretend time hadn't rushed far past those times.
"Tell me somethin'." She sensed him flinch in secret. "What's it like? To be with him."
Gaara, surely by mistake, watched her quietly. Something dead and gone pinched him ever so slightly. It wasn't a bad pinch, not quite good either. But it was comfortable. He'd forgotten the sound of her once broken way with words. But like a rusty lock had been picked open, they flowed with ease. Woken by her to a safe Sunday dawn, that it reminded him of.
"If you could know, you wouldn't have to ask."
"Try me."
Gaara didn't want to. Squeezing it into words would've been like teaching music to deaf ears, or showing a sunset to blind eyes, or describing a color no one else had discovered. But after some idle silence, he rather tried than listened to it getting louder.
"You ever almost fallen down the stairs? Or ran a red light in rush hour? Or dropped your keys down a storm drain? And your heart just stops. You feel every inch of you at once. Everythin' goes dark for a second and you feel like you fall out of your body."
"Yeah."
"It's like that. But it never stops. You live that second over and over. Forever. And it hurts, all the time, but it gets you high. You're always high and afraid and in pain, and you don't get why you do it to yourself. But then they smile. Or don't. Or wake up a minute before you and you feel like you wasted a lifetime. And you remember why you do it. You do it, 'cause they do it for you. You don't hurt 'cause of them. You hurt for 'em. So they don't have to. And not one fuckin' thing in the world feels better than that."
He didn't know why he carried on talking. Every word felt further from the truth, as if it'd grown greater and stretched farther, offended to be understated.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"No." He didn't. "Love's a word. Words have limits."
Temari eyed the ceiling. She wished it hadn't stood between her and star-packed heaven.
"I don't get it." As long as she'd known, she'd wondered, "You never loved a damn thing. Not me, not dad, not Kankuro. Not yourself. You still don't. It's just him. It's like God gave you a gift you never asked for. Or wanted. Or deserved. So why'd you take it? Take him?"
Gaara's gaze swerved to the floor. He wished it hadn't stood between him and hell.
"I didn't. There ain't a thing in him to take. He...gives. All of him. Sometimes he fucks up. So I fuck up worse to get back. Sometimes I don't give a damn, I do what I want. I still scare him. I beat him up over shit that don't matter. And when he fucks up, I treat him like a dog, make him feel fuckin' worthless."
He paused to think about the many times he'd messed up. In hindsight, not one of them was worth the petty cause. Temari was right. He didn't deserve the God given gift Naruto was.
"But when I come crawling back, he's there and forgives me. Every time, he fucks me up and back on the right track, and forgives me. Ain't a thing to take in him, every fucked up thing to take in me. And he took 'em all. Every day he takes 'em all. He always takes me back."
He was being too hard on himself, Temari thought. "He does, 'cause there ain't a thing you wouldn't do for him."
"Not one", Gaara agreed. "But it don't make me any better."
"Maybe not." She smiled. "But he does. He makes you better."
Whether she was right or not, Gaara couldn't have told but chose to wish she might've.
"Maybe." It'd be nice to think back to. "Maybe he did."
Bright smile slimming sad, Temari tipped her head onto his shoulder. He was right. Whether he'd go on to find his way back to Naruto, or slaughter his way to vengeance and then follow, she couldn't keep him there forever. But while he still stayed, she made sure to show her love, hoping that even in its limitedness it was enough.
"I'm sorry, honey."
"Don't be. He's waitin'."
A mile to go. An infinite, delirious, reckless mile. Naruto was numb from the neck down. His sight had tunneled and thoughts blurred. Though his throat no longer bled, it stung under the wet strips of cloth. When his head tipped down, it squinted shut. When it snapped up, the slit cracked wide. It disgusted more than it ached.
A block away he nodded off at the last turn, jerked up straight to step on the brake and swerve away from an oncoming car that'd drifted onto his lane, and crashed head on into a towering streetlight. The sturdy pole bent, thrusting the front fender into the engine room. The hood creased up to the windshield, and the popped light above fell and dented it where Naruto smashed his face into the steering wheel.
The car he'd dodged screeched to a halt. It idled. Nobody stepped out and as he crawled out of the wreck, it sped off. Luckily for him, drunk drivers didn't tend to stick around.
He lay on the ground, cracked his broken nose back in place and gazed at the starry sky. They truly were not aligned in his favor.
"Goddamn 60's. You went to the motherfuckin' moon, but no airbags?"
Sighing, he sat up to wistfully watch his wrecked car. Clearly something dear to him was meant to die that night. He tried not to mind. The underbody was rusting into dust anyway.
Kankuro had been cooked to, Sai and Suigetsu sipped on coffee, and the officers struggled down tea. The quiet, aloof one had a fairly steady hand. The so far chattier fumbled. His cup of green tea, no honey, trembled on his lips and clinked against the saucer. Nobody mentioned it and barely bothered with a glance when he finally broke down.
"Don't do this. I have a family. My wife is pregnant. Please don't do this."
His tea spilled. Haku worried for the cup. "Careful, I just bought that set."
The timid officer kept on pleading, they carried on not caring. Kankuro nodded to his partner who was glum but calm, and a seasoned poker player.
"You in or out?" She held up her cards. "'Aight. Showdown."
Sai laid down his lousy hand of one pair. Haku offered a flush, Suigetsu a full house and Kankuro four of a kind. Their hushed hostage whose friend had folded sobbing in the first round beat them all with a royal flush.
"Look at that", Kankuro chuckled. "I say you earned yourself a drink. Fetch the goods, boy."
"We have nothing because...you know", Haku sighed.
"Hallway closet, far left, under the black duffel bag."
"How the hell did you know?" Sai gasped. He'd guarded his stash with such care.
"I know everythin'", Kankuro grinned and called after Haku, "By the way, you don't wanna look in that bag."
"Why?" Sai wondered.
Kankuro shuddered. "Either the sick guys don't use any toy twice or someone robbed a sex shop. This is a weird ass house, man."
Sai's eyes lit up. "This bag you speak of…"
"Shut it", Suigetsu grunted. "As long as I'm stayin' under this roof, you ain't sittin' on a single one of those. You're loud 'nough just standin' up."
"Listen, I've been dry for two months. I need to sit on somethin'."
"Go sit on a chainsaw, sperm bank."
"Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but speakin' of sex toys, kinda hopin' your bro still gets a go at his."
Kankuro wrinkled his nose at Suigetsu. "C'mon, dude. Don't make me miss that gross shit."
Haku walked in pale-faced. Kankuro huffed, "You looked in the bag."
"I looked in the bag."
He poured a glass of brandy and set it down. The woman hesitated, downed it in one go and mumbled her first words.
"A little dry", she said, yet nudged the glass hoping for seconds. Haku gifted her the whole bottle.
Sai glanced at the time. It was pushing five in the morning. He was late.
They all jumped at a sharp knock on the door and swapped puzzled looks as Sai rushed to answer it. Kankuro walked up to see him squirm nervously.
"Who the hell did you—"
"Not now."
Breathing deep, he shook his stiff shoulders loose and slowly opened the door. Kankuro stepped back wide-eyed. Sai pulled a shaky smile for the man towering over him. His tragically lost right eye still bore a black patch, but he'd only ever needed one to look down on Sai.
"Hi, dad."
The one seeing eye, forever unimpressed with what it'd raised, grew grim. "Son. Regrettably."
He pushed his way in shadowed by two beefy men. Shoved aside, Sai drew into himself feeling the same old shame he still slaved to hide from others. Some trauma took a lot of over-the-top to disguise. As the visitors stood in the hallway assessing the trouble, Kankuro circled them from afar to grab Sai by the neck.
"What the fuck, man?" he hissed, loaded with angry panic. "We've painted the walls red with Akatsuki and you call up Shimura Danzo? Are you insane?"
"It's fine. It's fine, he's…family."
Kankuro glanced at Sai's tattoos. He'd questioned them once, Naruto had assured he shouldn't. Right then he struggled not to.
"Hn. So the big shot's your old man?"
Sai's eyes circled as he scoffed, "To his great disappointment."
"You look nothin' alike", Kankuro noticed.
"I was six months old when the bitch who pushed me out ditched me. He found me in a dumpster. For thirty years he's told me I belong in one, so...Father's day's never been my favorite."
"Does the guy know where he is?"
Sai shifted nervously. "I hope not."
"You said it's fine."
"You got a better idea?" he snarled, pointing towards the kitchen. "Wanna be a cop killer? Even we can't get away with that crap. I hate the old sack of shit but he's always right. So just trust me and don't fuck this up."
Kankuro threw up his hands. "Whatever. Ain't no goin' back."
As he angrily strode into the kitchen, Sai tiptoed down the hall where his father stood by the stairs nudging a body with his foot.
"Check them", he told his sinister sidekicks.
One of them pulled off its mask and peeked under its coat looking for something he didn't find. "Not our men."
"Akatsuki?"
"Could be."
With a bored grunt, Danzo turned to Sai. "Only you could make a mess like this."
He tried not to shrink. "You got here quick. Private plane?"
"Brand new. Leather seats. White suede really soaks up blood."
"Pretentious prick", Sai mumbled. Glowered at, he pulled a pesky smile. "How's the cancer?"
"It's doing its job." Danzo knew how to turn his face into a frown. "You've got another two years to find a wife."
Sai bit his tongue. He refused to start the same old spat over what an unfit heir he was and how his behind would never agree to even graze the old man's wicked throne. Haku peeked in from behind the corner.
"Are you okay, honey?"
Danzo eyed the feminine boy up and down, assumed the worst, and left grunting, "At least you're getting closer."
While Sai fumed, Haku watched the man walk off with his head held high. "He looks important."
"Ain't to me", Sai dragged him along, "If daddy dearest asks, we're doin' it."
"Oh-okay."
Kankuro paced around the kitchen, every worst case scenario chasing him, when the infamous Shimura clansman walked in scaring him to a halt. The room fell dead quiet. Shimura, even at his old age, had that twisted je ne sais quoi Kankuro had grown up with; the suffocating, flammable aura Gaara had and ruled any room with, though not quite the same. Gaara's was fickle and split second lethal like a loaded machine gun. But Shimura — he was haunting, like a summoned spirit biding its time. Glanced at, Kankuro shrunk and shifted next to Sai, praying to blend into the background as Shimura silently eyed the cowering officers.
His lowered chin lifted high and stiff fingers told them to stand up. Scared, they didn't. Feeling that je ne sais quoi spike, Suigetsu and Kankuro hurried to drag them to him and melted back to the sidelines. Shimura gave his henchmen a small nod. Quicker than anyone could bat an eye, they'd drawn guns and emptied them into the officers that spasmed on their way down, both dead before they hit the floor. Aghast, everyone watching winced away.
"But, th—they're cops", Kankuro stuttered in horror.
Sai elbowed him. "Shut up."
Jaw grazing the floor, Suigetsu stupidly sided with Kankuro. "But, you don't kill cops!"
"Shut up", Sai hissed again, no wiser than his friends on 'why' but smart enough not to question it.
Cop killers never got away. So they'd all been taught but slowly second guessed watching Shimura's stooges clean up. They'd come prepared. One cut off their uniforms as the other twisted out their teeth with pliers. Their hands and heads were sawn off, badges and guns and anything else traceable was packed into trash bags along with their clothes, loose limbs and personal belongings — wallets, phones, wedding rings, keys, even the crumpled stick of gum tucked in a folded shirt cuff. Under the boss's unforgiving watch, they left no pocket unturned.
Haku, heartbroken for the innocent pair, had left the room. Feeling his father's judgment hang over him, Sai stayed. Suigetsu could only watch with one eye open and even Kankuro wished he'd inherited blood even half as cold as his brother's, who would've gotten a sick kick out of the slaughtered pigs.
Nauseous, Sai asked, "What 'bout the patrol car?"
"Gone."
They hadn't even noticed. "The precinct knows they're here."
"No, they're responding to a domestic abuse dispatch across town. It doesn't end well."
"But...there's no bodies."
"No body, no murder. An abandoned patrol car in a shady neighborhood...They'll take the hint."
"Are they really dumb 'nough to believe that?"
Shimura took a pregnant pause. "Are you really dumb enough to talk back to me?"
Sai digressed. Not to please but to rise above him. In fifteen brief minutes, they'd cleaned up and zipped the officers' nude frames into body bags. Without a word, Shimura and his men walked to the door, where he paused with his back turned.
"Sai." His seething son bothered with a bitter glance. "This never happened."
Sai's scrunched face fell. Danzo did know where he was. Bowing his head, Sai didn't speak and only nodded when told;
"See you at Christmas."
He didn't dare breathe before the door closed and his father was gone. None of them knew what to do. The house felt unclean in a different, worse way.
Kankuro decided, "Get changed. I'm callin' a ride."
He could see the building tower around the corner. The two hundred yards from his wrecked car to there seemed to never end, and so when he finally made it, Naruto let his bruised knees rest on the ground, spinning sight looking for something static to focus on. A still shadow in the distance wasn't what he'd wished to see. To the left, under a tree, stood another. Feeling chilling gazes surround him, he looked around to spot five faceless forms spying on him. None of them budged. He couldn't have told how they'd found him, but knew they meant no harm.
Live, he thought. They were there to remind him, and duly did.
Not far off, Naruto spotted the familiar Streetfighter lying on its side by a broken glass door. Knowing Gaara, kicked in. He stepped through the shattered window to find the elevator out of order.
Naruto looked up at the five flights of stairs waiting to be climbed. He wanted to weep. "You got to be shittin' me."
And climb he did. Walking, crawling, but not resting.
Temari flinched hearing a weak tap on the door. Dazed in his own woeful world, Gaara didn't hear it or even notice her rush out of the room. He did wake to the door slamming open, heard Temari quietly whimper and as faint as it was, recognized the tired moan greeting her. All that'd held him back fell away. He twisted and turned until the water pipe bent and zip ties snapped one by one, freeing him into a clumsy sprint out of the room. Staggering into the hallway, he let out the first sob in two decades.
Naruto finally let himself break down. Meeting halfway, he dragged Gaara down with him, clung to his neck, tugged on his clothes and cried. They weren't happy tears, not sad either. Overflowing guilt, that they were and he a bottomless, prideless well of it.
"Please tell me you didn't read it."
Gaara didn't want to lie or tell the truth. All he wanted was right there, weeping pitifully knowing he'd read it.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I gave up."
"I don't care." Gaara buried his face in bloody, blond hair. "You're here, I don't care."
Jerked out of sleep again, Shikamaru had sped out of bed, relief reaping his knees at the threshold where he slumped down praising God, as if He'd bothered to even lend a look to them that night. Temari huddled up to him for a shoulder to weep on.
"Tell me you're okay", Naruto mumbled into Gaara's shirt his tears had wet. All of mankind could have watched on and he wouldn't have cared enough to bite them back.
Gaara laid a smile on his forehead. "I am now."
His fingertips caressed Naruto's cheek down to his neck where they bumped into wet cloth tied around it. Frowning, he opened his eyes and flinched back from the red strips that'd shrouded it. Naruto tried not to whimper as he yanked open the knots. One slipped when Gaara tilted his head back. Fury filled him to the brim. He didn't want to scare Naruto, so he stretched an angry, twitchy smile over his gritted teeth.
"What's that?" Naruto didn't know what to say. "Who the fuck—" Hearing himself leak vengance, Gaara tweaked his tone, poorly. "Who did this?"
"It's…It's my own fault, I should've—"
"Not what I fuckin' asked!" Naruto drew into himself. Gaara cleared his throat with an unhinged chuckle. "No, no, I'm not angry at you, angel, I'm just…"
Gaara scrambled to his feet, taking off towards the door. He'd never felt less shot in the head.
"I'm just huntin' down every last one of the ten thousand fuckers."
He would've stormed out hadn't Naruto barely made it between him and the door. He tried not to cower from the fist flying by his head.
"Calm down, it's fine, I'm fine, just...Calm down, okay?"
"Fine? Fine?! In what fuckin' world are you fine?! Move, don't make me—"
"Don't leave me."
Gaara quieted but wouldn't back down. So Naruto kissed him calm. He didn't mind dressing Gaara in guilt. Guilt couldn't get him killed.
"I shouldn't have left."
"If you hadn't, we wouldn't be here."
He wasn't wrong. Gaara didn't have to like it or even forgive himself, but Naruto was right. Gently he touched the gash across his throat. It wasn't deep but must've hurt. Temari didn't mind his hard-hearted tone.
"Get up and fuckin' do somethin'."
She rose and scurried into the other room. Naruto hadn't missed the bruises on her fair face. When she'd gone, he whispered to Gaara;
"You hurt her."
"She got in the way."
He didn't even pretend to feel sorry. Naruto looked away — not angry, just sad — and let Gaara walk him to the living room. Sat on the couch next to him, Gaara carefully took off his bullet stricken kevlar vest and quietly counted every cut and bruise underneath. Each one upset him more. Those he was sorry for. He looked away from the one bullet that'd sunk into his chest just enough to stick, reminded himself to stay calm and gently twisted it out. He tried to take Naruto's mind off the pain.
"So, how'd it go?"
How casual, Naruto thought and smiled at. "Still here."
"Got 'em all?"
His small smile faded. "Down to two when I..."
Gaara glanced his way and down again. "Anyone dead?"
Naruto bit his cheek to keep a quiver off his lips. "I hope not."
As untouched as ever, Gaara nodded. Temari walked in with a first aid kit. He didn't care enough to lend a look.
"Get out."
She hesitated. "Naruto." Kind eyes turned to her. "Is Kankuro…?"
Naruto smiled. "He's fine." Smiled, but struggled to. "Well, he was when I...left."
Temari didn't blame him. "That's good."
Stung by Gaara's stare, she backed out. Left twosome, he cared for Naruto's wounds, bound his neck, wiped the red stains off his face and as he so tenderly did, Naruto watched him quietly. It shouldn't have taken such tragedy and heartache for him to remember, but he often forgot how lucky he really was. As flawed as Gaara was and as well as Naruto knew each fault, he still was...perfect. Not to everyone, not as a matter of fact, but to him. For him. And he didn't let him know often enough.
"I don't deserve you."
Heartily amused, almost snide, Gaara laughed. "You do. A thousand times." He carried on, eyes hiding from Naruto's. "But you don't deserve this hell."
"If hell's what it takes to have you, I'll burn."
Gaara pulled Naruto down to lay with him, look at him and tell him, "Y'know...Sometimes I wish I'd never met you. If I'd known this shit's the best I can give you...I would've just stayed in prison. Fucked up in court, sat in death row waitin' for the drop."
With his head on Gaara's chest, Naruto listened to his heart still skip some beats and add a few where none belonged. They fumbled, but he was thankful for each one.
"Don't say that."
Gaara smiled. "But then I look at you." It was so few and far between to hear him smile so kindly, Naruto had to look. "And I wish I'd met you sooner. So I could've loved you longer. I'm...selfish like that."
Love. He rarely said it and when he did it was part of something else, like fine print between mundane lines. But Naruto liked it that way. It was momentous every time, in its own right. His smile was weary and eyes struggled to stay open. Gaara pecked him on the lips.
"Sleep."
Naruto nuzzled his neck. "I don't want to."
"I'm right here. Okay? Just sleep."
With a safe shoulder to sleep on, Naruto wanted to. Still he struggled, feeling he didn't deserve rest while others still fought on. When he wouldn't feel proud of himself, Gaara did. He always did.
"You did good, angel."
Naruto believed him as slowly as he fell asleep. Gaara stayed up. To watch over him, to be grateful he could. And as he did, he trusted what Temari had told him. Naruto had made him a better man. Kinder, in a way. Patient. He put up with many nuisances to gladden him, though slipped every now and then. He always would. He wanted to.
Kindness didn't win wars, wouldn't keep Naruto safe. Kindness had made him weak. Inadequate. He'd let it spread too far and wide. Treating strangers with tolerance to not upset Naruto was too far, looking out for Naruto's friends only to please him was too wide. Gaara wanted to be good to him, not for him, and now worried he hadn't just lost sight of who he really was but already become someone else. It would come with a cost money couldn't pay off.
Naruto had made him better. And he did slip up every now and then. Just not often enough.
Two hours later, Temari sat at the dining table nervously fidgeting with another cup of tea. It'd gone cold, never touching her lips. With a gentle arm around her tense shoulders, Shikamaru sat by her silently, both too restless for bed. Gaara and Naruto hadn't left the living room. They'd been quiet for a long while. Naruto must've drifted off. Gaara hadn't and she knew he wouldn't. Though he'd never rested well, she doubted he'd ever sleep the same again. She wanted to check on them but feared it'd wake Naruto up. Gaara would not forgive.
Some minutes shy of sunrise, a weary knock on the door sprung them to their feet. Temari rushed to answer, her heart pounding as she opened it to let in four tired, filthy men. She sped by everyone else into Kankuro's arms, her feet lifting off the ground. As they shared a fond moment, the rest broke into a choir of relieved sighs, patting one another on the back. The place felt safe. Homely.
"I'm so happy you're all safe", Temari gasped as Kankuro let her down, and handed out hugs to each one.
Shikamaru eyed them from afar. He'd met all but one, and so when Suigetsu happened to catch his wandering gaze, he put on a polite smile and walked over to shake hands.
"Shikamaru. Welcome", he told the stranger.
Suigetsu clasped his clammy hand, wondering whom he peered at from under his brows. He could tell the guy was the odd man out. Something stiff and awkward stood between them.
"Suigetsu." He wasn't shy to be leery. "What you do?"
It was odd, Shikamaru thought. "Uh, I'm a lawyer."
"Figures", Suigetsu scoffed.
Shikamaru wasn't sure what to make of it but supposed it wasn't wise to blame a man fresh from a blood bath. So he kept up a friendly smile until Suigetsu turned away and in secret rolled his eyes away from the man's back. Rather loud chatter had filled the hallway. Nobody noticed until the living room's door slid open, quietly but with such pique it might as well have slammed shut. Gaara stood down the hall, seething as they all quieted.
"Wake him up and no one lives."
"Sorry, honey", Temari whispered, gesturing everyone into the kitchen.
Gaara glared as they tiptoed by, took a quick peek into the living room, and followed. Their group of seven cramped the small kitchen. Nobody spoke as Temari brewed pots of tea and coffee for them all. Gaara turned down tea and scowled at the cup of coffee she offered. It wouldn't keep him up. He glanced at Kankuro.
"Still got crystal?"
He did. "No."
Gaara believed him. "We still got a house or nah?"
"Well", Kankuro could see how he struggled to stand, "some of it."
"How's that?"
"You gotta see to believe it", Sai huffed.
"Shit went down, huh?"
"Yeah. But so did they", Kankuro chuckled.
After a long look, Gaara cracked a smirk and gave his brother a dap with a pat on the back.
"Not bad."
"How's your head, bro?"
"Still there."
"How are you feeling, honey?" Haku worried.
"Good 'nough", Gaara lied as his heart twitched out of order. It hurt but he hid it well. "Anythin' worth tellin'?"
Lazing against the wall, Suigetsu swapped glances with Kankuro who subtly shook his head. Gaara caught it.
"What happened?"
Suigetsu rubbed his neck awkwardly. "The cops showed up."
The room fell dead quiet. In the background, hidden from stunned eyes, Shikamaru flinched. Only Temari noticed. They swapped glances — Temari suspicious, Shikamaru restless. With a freshly lit cigarette between his lips, Gaara tensed up from head to toes.
"What? How?"
Several shoulders shrugged. "No idea. Somebody called in a wellness check."
It sent Gaara pacing the room from end to end, tempting him to strike a wall when he remembered Naruto was asleep. So instead he struck the first face his fist came across. Annoyed, Kankuro groaned and picked up the unlit cigarette smacked off his lips. It'd bent.
"A wellness check? Who the fuck—How many? Where are they? What the hell—"
"Chill", Sai huffed, "Two, cut up and gone."
Gaara did calm down. Stunned, not appeased. "You killed two cops? You fuckin' dumb?"
"Not us", Kankuro nodded towards Sai, "The twink gave daddy a call."
"You called up Danzo? The old shit owns half the mob."
"It's fine", Sai whined. "He showed up, gutted and packed up the pigs, and fucked off."
Gaara wasn't impressed. "And the car? The precinct? The dispatch tracin' back to us?"
"Done, done, and done. Just trust me on this one."
"You? Wouldn't trust you with a blowjob, you useless sack of shit, and you want me to think you'll cover up a cop kill?"
Their unfriendly back and forth upset the whole room, loud opinions picking sides as Haku tried to calm them down. Sai and Gaara grew increasingly heated and the space between them slimmer. Smelling trouble, Kankuro stepped in.
"Shut it." The row died down. "This ain't the fuckin' time to pick a fight. We're lucky anyone's alive, let alone the whole crew. So bro, calm your shit. Without Sai we'd all be in the slammer."
"Yeah? Without him, there would've been no cops. Without all of ya, I wouldn't have gotten shot and left Naruto behind. Without you, he wouldn't have stayed. If not for your dead fuckin' weight, we would've been outta that shit hole in five fuckin' minutes."
Gaara stepped up to Kankuro. He was too fazed to flinch.
"I don't give a shit 'bout any of ya. If it was up to me, I would've gunned you all down outta the way and fucked off. You're only here 'cause I love the dumb cunt who's too selfless for his own good. A real man don't leave his fiancé to die for fuckers that don't matter. I'm done pretendin' you're worth anythin' else than a forty-five headshot."
Stunned silence cramped the room. Even for Gaara, it seemed unfathomably cruel and aloof, they briefly thought. But it wasn't, was it? He only ever showed goodwill to flaunt it to Naruto, to score points only kindness to others could buy in his eyes. It felt ridiculous to take offense. Why mourn the loss of something that so obviously never should've, could've and hadn't existed? The guy whose closest brush with meaningful human connection was a toxic, possessive and mutually abusive relationship that most often glorified everything wrong with romance didn't have room for others. He barely had enough affection to pour into that one delusionally kind cup.
Still, the truth hurt those who, unlike he, had the capacity to care. Temari and Haku hugged themselves mournfully. Suigetsu looked away rather annoyed, Shikamaru tapped his foot awkwardly, and Kankuro struggled to choose between anger and disappointment. They all quietly suffered in their own way. But Sai, bitter and tired of walking on eggshells, sprung forth.
"Dead weight, huh?" he hissed. "You seriously think you would've stood half a fuckin' chance without us? You dragged us into this shit. Everyone here put their life on the line for you. Everyone here killed for you. Three of us took a bullet, all of us got this close to wakin' up in solitary, and Haku brought you back from the motherfuckin' dead, you ungrateful shit."
Haku softly piped up, "Uh, that's not technically true—"
"Fuckin' close 'nough!"
Gaara said nothing. Nobody so small had ever dared to think they'd put him in his place.
"You know what a real man would've done?" Sai inched up as close as he'd get to Gaara's height. "A real man would've gone down like one. If you didn't want to be in the way, you should've just shot yourself in the head."
Sai stepped back. Crippling horror took over the small space, hanging heavy over their heads, bowing them down. Nobody had a word or thought to give, disbelief had reaped them all. In the loudest silence they'd ever listened to, Gaara watched Sai stand his ground. A numbness had washed over him. It lingered, waiting for the spike. When it peaked, Sai didn't flee from his blackout rage.
He didn't fend off the blows that beat him to the floor, didn't curl up to soften the kicks bruising his ribs, and only rose to cradle Haku from the hits when the boy dived between them with a scared cry. Every man standing lunged at Gaara. Temari took two blows to save Sai from them. Bruising as they did, the men wrestled Gaara away. Shikamaru and Suigetsu backed off to let Kankuro shove his brother up against the wall.
"Pull your shit together!"
Barely on his feet, Gaara didn't put up much of a fight. Kankuro backed off, blending into the people shielding Sai across the room. A rift raptured between them. Gaara stood alone on one side, they on the other in sudden solidarity. It was an overdue reminder of how he always did stand alone across every rift. Gaara supposed he had been put in his place after all.
Kankuro shook his head slowly. "Get out."
With twitchy lips struggling not to bare teeth, he did and was forgotten about as soon as he'd gone. Temari checked on Sai and Haku, Suigetsu flipped up a couple of tipped over chairs, and Shikamaru hurried to wet a towel with cold water for bloody bruises. Only Kankuro stood stationary, still looking the way his brother had gone. He felt like a traitor, but would've been one either way. He'd chosen a side to stand on. It would pass, they'd merge again. But for now, he stood watch by the door.
Well into the morning, Gaara lay next to Naruto. Watching him, caring for him.
The room was hot but Gaara freezing cold. Beads of sweat trembled on his graying skin as he shivered from head to toes. The high had faded and pains, aches and fatigue taken over. It hurt. All of him hurt. He needed help that wouldn't come. Without it, that day's sun wouldn't set for him to see, he knew that. His heart only beat because he breathed, and he only breathed because he chose to. Had he closed his eyes and not forced his lungs to swell, sleep would've raced to tame him for the last time. But he couldn't go yet. He couldn't let Naruto wake up in cold, stiffening arms, robbed of a goodbye and seeking closure he'd never get.
He seemed restless. Twitching every now and then, face fidgety, eyes searching for something to see under their lids. Gaara wished Naruto hadn't been such a vivid dreamer. It never let him truly rest. But whatever he dreamt about, it didn't seem dire. Just...lifelike. Something nice, Gaara hoped.
Naruto opens his eyes from darkness into a dim room. He sits on a squeaky chair by a stained steel table, a dull light hanging from the ceiling above, casting a yellow sheen upon the dusty surface. The walls are bland and undecorated. He shifts. The chair creaks, his shoes scrape the concrete floor. It's familiar. He's heard it before. He's been there before. Knowing what he'll see, he lifts his gaze ahead and to the door across the glum room. Something tells him it will open. Slowly it does.
The hinges wail, a man steps inside. A man with ashen skin, crimson hair and eyes as pale as midnight moonlight. They watch him, study him. As if they've never met him before. And they haven't.
The man dressed in burnt orange, bound by chains and cuffs steps forward, slowly sits down opposite him and waits for the sound he knows the room makes. They are alone, yet the door slams shut and cuffs lock themselves to the table. The sound is loud and final. Naruto knows the man hates it. He knows he hates the room, hates the rattling chains, hates the light shining the utmost ugliest shade of muddled gold. But above all else, the man hates him. The way he does everyone he meets for the first time.
Naruto smothers a smile. Time has bent. Gaara doesn't yet know whom he's met.
A silent minute snails by. Or maybe it's a second. Naruto is at ease, the man watching him very tense. He doesn't blame him. He waits. Waits for the redhead to speak, only to hear his voice for the first time again. When he does, it runs through him like electricity.
"Not guilty."
He shivers. The way he did the very first time. He no longer can hold back a smile.
"Liar."
The man flinches. His eyes thin into a look that sinks deep into him. A year ago, it would've frightened him. In the future it makes his blood rush and heart race.
"What?" the man snarls, angry and confused.
His thin eyes edge sharper, jaw clenches and hand balls into a fist as it rests in his lap. It's a look Naruto knows, one he falls for time and time again, as hateful as it is. And the words that follow, those he's heard just as many times.
"I could kill you with my bare hands."
"I know."
The redhead's face falls, anger departs and only confusion stays. He looks lost, stunned by Naruto's bold tone, puzzled by his bravery. He doesn't understand.
"You know?"
Naruto doesn't reply. Not yet. He pauses to watch him, to rediscover every little detail. The way he carries himself, the way his body moves, the manner in which his strong shoulders rise stiffly when in doubt. Naruto watches the eyes hiding secrets he knows all about, his lips and what he knows they taste like, his neck yet to be etched with ink and how he often begs to feel his hands around it. It thrills him to know what he looks like underneath his clothes, while all the man can do is guess the same about him.
"Yeah", Naruto finally says, flashing a weak smile. "I've lived this moment already."
Gaara looks perplexed. Leery, puzzled, a little amused. Naruto knows he doesn't believe him.
"You're fuckin' insane."
"You ain't no better."
Anger takes hold of him again. He looks no less lost, but just as frustrated.
"You're full of shit."
Naruto smiles.
"If you say so."
His calm replies enrage the man, yet behind the cold gleam in his glower, he wants to believe him. Knowing that, Naruto offers him a treat.
"Ask. I know you want to."
For a moment Gaara sits restlessly, questions reality and wonders if morbid curiosity is worth losing dignity for. His wandering gaze finds the gentle, keen one looking for it. He hesitates, but asks.
"Do I win?"
Naruto nods. "Yeah."
The frown on his face falls. He looks uncertain, still unsure if putting faith in Naruto is wise, but somewhere deep beneath the doubt he looks relieved. The moment of ease is fleeting, overtaken by annoyance as quickly as it'd come.
"Hn. And then what?"
It's the question Naruto waited to hear. His smile grows wider, happier.
"We fall in love."
Silence settles. Heavy, morbid silence that no longer can cage Naruto but traps Gaara tightly in its grasp. The redhead stares and his lips twitch into ridiculing laughter that tries to strip him of worth. Naruto doesn't mind. When Gaara sees that his proud smile won't budge, he takes him for a madman. His laughter dies out. The mocking gleam in his eyes fades and invites in disgust.
"I don't love", he says. With a fond smile, Naruto shakes his head.
"You will." He leans forward in his chair. "One day, you will."
Gaara leans back, as if trying to escape. "You dumb or wanna die?"
The question is so like him, Naruto thinks as he chuckles, "You'll still ask me that a year from now."
Pastel green eyes taper thin. "That's where you're from? A year from now?"
It seems he entertains the idea of time bending fit for travel, even if the future strikes as a laughable lie. Honest, Naruto nods and waits for the question that is bound to happen. It does, reluctantly, but laced with curiosity.
"What happens?"
Naruto cocks his head, matches the tapered stare and tilts his smile crooked. He leans even closer. This time, the man doesn't back away.
"A day from now, you'll get angry at me for the first time", he tells. Gaara deems it likely.
"Gettin there'."
Naruto doesn't let the dry grunt hinder him. He closes his eyes, just long enough to honor a memory he knows he'll cherish till his dying day.
"Six days from now, you'll kiss me for the first time."
His eyes open to meet a look he can't put into words, but knows the meaning of. Gaara feels doubtful, though considers it. The thought doesn't put him off but brushes too close to the time-traveler's tellings. He feels conflicted. Naruto knows, because he learned to.
"On the hood of a stolen Maybach", he chuckles, knowing it'll humor him. It might've, had his mind not drifted elsewhere.
"I'm released in six days?" he marvels.
Naruto nods, to which Gaara frowns. His gaze sinks to wander across the tabletop, questions pestering him. He's tempted to ask for more but worries he'll regret finding out. A puzzled moment later, his shoulders drop and eyes fall shut as a sigh takes flight off his tense lips. He yields.
"Then what?"
Azure eyes glaze over with past pain. The first unwanted memory crosses his mind, twisting his stomach into a knot.
"You…" he begins, but falters. It takes a deep breath for him to carry on. "You get shot."
Gaara doesn't flinch, doesn't look scared, only revels in intrigue. So Naruto feeds it.
"It's bloody, you lose too much. So I donate mine", he reveals, stirring mixed feelings. "You pull through and move in with me."
Gaara eyes him in disbelief. He brushes it off with a playful smile.
"You hate my friends. You hate my wife. You hate everythin' but kissin' me when she turns her back. You want to tell her."
Gaara's eyes have abandoned his and wandered well below. They don't return for a while.
"Get to the good part."
As lewd as ever, Naruto thinks as he slips a raspy chuckle.
"About…", he pauses to think back, "two weeks from now, she'll walk in on us. You talk us out of it. You always do."
"Two weeks, huh?" Gaara dislikes the timeline. "Still, don't mean shit."
To him, it doesn't. So Naruto carries on.
"Three weeks from now, I get stabbed." He doesn't sound it, but the past dries out his throat. "You find me. I'm not breathin'. You have no idea how long it's been, but you don't give up. And I come back."
A ghost of a smile visits his lips but gaze grazes the table.
"You promise me you'll kill 'em all. Every last one, for me."
Gaara doesn't ask. He doesn't have to.
"All ten thousand of 'em."
Something shifts. The nameless mention of those he's wished gone all his life locks Gaara's jaws shut, clenches his hand into a tight fist and muddles his eyes a shade of angry Naruto hasn't yet seen in that room. He knows the look that blazes with vengeance. Naruto changes the subject.
"Two days later, you win the trial."
Gaara snaps back to reality. For a split second he looks grateful. Stifled, it draws back, veiled by indifference. Naruto doesn't mind, knowing he'll one day be watched with eyes anything but. Even if the road there nearly kills him.
"The day after, you leave me."
His voice chips with hurt Gaara catches but doesn't mention.
"A week later, I leave my wife for you."
Gaara tilts his head. "Why, if I leave you?"
He no longer sounds so skeptical. Naruto wants to smile but hears himself somberly sigh instead.
"You leave to save me." He swallows, but the knot in his throat won't sink. "I miss you. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I just work and drink. Worst eight months of my life."
Gaara must hear the hurt, but again, says nothing. Naruto doesn't expect him to. Ease fills him and spreads his lips into another smile.
"You come back. Eight months later, you come back."
As the smile lights up his eyes, he stands up. Gaara flinches, leans back and watches him like a tethered beast might. Naruto steps closer.
"A week later we no longer hide."
He takes another step. Gaara glances at his cuffs. He has nowhere to run.
"Two days later, I tell you I love you."
He takes a third step, reaching him. Gaara subtly tugs on the chains. They don't come loose.
"Y'know what you say?" Naruto sighs, looking down at the man hoping to flee. "You say, 'thanks'."
Gaara lowers his gaze, as if sorry in advance. Or so Naruto wants to believe.
"I forgive you", he assures, slowly reaching towards Gaara's hand. "I forgive you, 'cause I love you the way you are."
His fingertips brush against the cuffs. They snap open. Gaara flinches and springs up as they fall. Naruto steps closer, leaving just enough space to breathe between them. Blue eyes saunter down to gaze at red lips.
"The same day, my best friend dies in a crash we survive."
The lips part as if to speak, but never do. Naruto wants to lean in, but doesn't. His fingers wrap around the chain locked around Gaara's waist. It breaks apart, falls to the floor and frees him.
"Three weeks later, you tell me you love me, go down on one knee and ask me to be yours forever."
Gaara looks down at the chains at his feet and back up again. He meets with a look alive with something he can't name. He doesn't yet know what it is. Warm lips brush against his.
"I say yes."
Gaara breathes in. But not out.
"And a year from now?" he asks.
"A year from now", Naruto caresses his cheek, "we wait to die together."
Gaara looks into his eyes. He doesn't know why, but waiting to die together a year from now doesn't feel all that strange.
A surprised moan falls from his mouth and into the one pushing against his. He expects himself to flinch, but shivers instead. A current runs through him, sparking something that's never burned before. The lips leave, only to return, and he can't understand why they feel familiar. The fourth time they return, he closes his eyes. The fifth time, gentle fingertips run up the length of his neck, setting their tracks on fire. The sixth time he feels them, he's the one who searches for a seventh. The eighth is his too, the ninth both of theirs. The tenth no longer pauses for another.
With every kiss, he breathes in purer. With every touch, he loses a chip of sense. With every pleased sigh that falls into his mouth, he works harder to hear another. He strips the body he's never touched but feels like he knows. He strips himself to learn it with his own. The dim light no longer casts a shade as grim over the steel table that doesn't feel cold under them. When his mind merges with his body, and he loses them both to the stranger that feels like his, he knows that one day he'll fall in love. Or so he tells.
Really all he feels and tells and does is what Naruto wants him to, yet somehow, Naruto knows he's right. And so does Gaara.
"You will ruin me."
"And you will fuckin' love it."
It was sudden. Waking up, sucked out of the dream in a split second, Naruto's dazed gaze circled the ceiling confused and unfocused. He squinted at the sunrise spilling through the blinds, unsure of where he was and why. He ached from head to toes, that he could tell, but his throat pestered the most. Feeling the slit grinning across his neck, flashbacks from last night came flooding back. He panicked. For a moment, he was there again, reliving every horror from start to finish until the film cut off and a familiar, safe scent brought him back.
He felt Gaara's chest against his back, arm around him and face pressed against his neck. Relieved, Naruto brushed the back of his hand. It was cold. Icy and very still. He held it, it didn't hold his. He couldn't feel Gaara's breath on his neck.
"Gaara?"
No answer. He was afraid to turn. So he didn't and squeezed his hand tighter. It should've hurt.
"Baby? Say somethin'."
He didn't. He didn't speak, he didn't move. Naruto jolted around, catching Gaara when he nearly dropped off the narrow couch. He was cold, pale and drenched in sweat. Shaking him didn't stir his closed eyes.
"Hey, wake up." Naruto shook him harder. "Wake up!"
With a scratchy gasp, Gaara jerked awake, his back arching and eyes rolling open. Naruto wanted to punch him.
"Just fuckin' breathe, man!"
Barely conscious, Gaara wheezed, "I wasn't breathin'?"
"No! Stop dyin'!"
"I'm not dyin'", he slurred lifting his head. "I'm fine."
Stubborn, he crawled off the couch to stand up. His legs buckled before he could get on his knees. Stuck face down on the floor humbled even him.
"...I can't feel my legs. I still got legs, right?"
Sighing, Naruto rolled him over. He looked unwell. Sickly, really. So cold that he jolted between shivers, so pale that his lips had tinted blue. Wiping sweat off his face, Naruto realized he'd run out of ways to make him better. Gaara needed help he couldn't give.
"You're not fine, are you?"
Gaara could've lied. "No."
He could've, but didn't want to. To be brave, Naruto chose not to wish he had.
Gathered in the kitchen, they sipped on coffee trying to lighten the mood with small talk. Nothing important, nothing significant. Just light conversation to brighten the dark cloud still hanging over their heads.
"I hope you're hungry," Temari chirped, serving breakfast to the men slumped around the table.
"It better be Vicodin, m'am", Sai groaned and picked up his head.
All eyes on him swerved away. He'd avoided the subtle glances sneaking peeks at his bruised face all morning. It was getting exhausting and he too curious for his own good.
"That bad, huh?"
Kankuro didn't mean to cringe. "I mean…"
Sai looked at the phone nudged his way, picked it up and met the front facing camera. His purple face paled ashen white.
"Jesus motherfuckin' Christ." He brushed his black eye and pinched his split lip. "I'm—I look—I'm gonna kill that psychotic cunt. I used to be so pretty."
"Oh, honey", Haku held Sai's hand as he spilled dramatic sobs, "you're pretty no matter what."
Sai's stingy eyes snapped his way. "Cut the bullshit. Only the rich and pretty rule the world and I'm a broke-ass hoe with an eye as black as a cotton field."
"Zip it", Temari scolded him. "That isn't funny."
Kankuro cracked a smirk. "C'mon, faggot's got a sense of humor."
She spun around to smack him. "What is wrong with you? I raised you better than this."
Kankuro arched a brow. "Did you?"
"Well, I sure tried." Loudly dropping dishes into the sink, she grumbled under her breath, "I give my everything and what do I end up with? A sociopath and a dumbass. Two complete fuck-ups."
Kankuro saw best to shrink in his seat and Suigetsu drew back the empty cup he'd hoped she might refill. Shikamaru nodded behind the day's paper.
"Good call."
"So", Suigetsu yawned, "what's next?"
"Cleanup and pain killers, mostly."
Haku glanced across the room worriedly. "I wonder how Naruto and Gaa—"
"Shut it", Sai grunted. "I couldn't give less of a shit 'bout the guy."
"Don't say that", Haku sighed. "I'm just worried, they both got badly—"
Naruto's raised voice from the other room startled them all. They glanced at one another, jumped up and rushed out. Sai stayed behind, seethed for a second, then struggled to his feet and limped after them. Together they barged into the living room to find Gaara trembling on the floor, Naruto beside him and somber silence between them.
"Is everything okay?" Temari worried.
Naruto looked their way and sighed relieved to know they all were alive and fine on their own feet. It passed.
"No." Watching Gaara, he attempted a quivering smile. "He's not."
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Just...make him comfortable."
Forgetful of last night's rift, they did. He was laid down on the couch, cared for, spoken to. Sai stayed on the sidelines. He felt guilty, but bitter too. Nobody blamed him. Nobody had the will or time to care.
Keeping busy with Naruto and just out of Gaara's earshot, Temari whispered, "If he gets worse, you'll...Right?"
"Obviously."
If worse came to worst and Gaara lost consciousness, Naruto wouldn't care what asking for an ambulance led to, he'd call one.
"He'll hate you."
"I don't care. I love him more than he'll ever hate me."
She smiled. "He'll pull through."
Naruto paused, frowned, and huffed as if she'd told him the sky was blue. "Of course he is. Why wouldn't he?"
He was in denial, Temari supposed, and she let him. He didn't have to know any better. "Yes. Of course."
There was a lazy knock on the door. Temari nudged Naruto.
"I think that's for you."
Odd, he thought, but left to answer it. A tired, unamused woman stood behind it with a large packed bag, eyeing him from head to toes. He looked just as unwell as she'd feared.
"I'm this close to start charging you", Tsunade sighed.
With a shaky sigh and smile, Naruto rushed to squeeze her tightly. "Charge whatever you want."
She drew back and squinted at the gash across his neck. "Meh, could be worse."
"Oh...Uh, it ain't me you're here for."
She wasn't? Looking at the state of him, Tsunade couldn't imagine what possibly could've been more urgent. She marched in, down the hall and into the living room, welcomed by a small crowd of seven gathered around the couch, three of whom had bled, one looking sickly, and another a breath away from death.
"I'm definitely charging every penny you're worth, brat."