a/n 1: Hi. So for three years I haven't had the login to my account. David Carner offered to let me finish my fics on his account, but then, then that low life bastard stole all my ideas and "fluffed" them up. Well enough of that. While he was busy dealing with family things, I broke in, tied him up and threw him in my basement. Now…do you hear that? Wait. Excuse me. (WILL YOU SHUT UP DOWN THERE!? I AM TRYING TO WRITE!)

a/n 2: Where was I? Oh, yeah, that jerk David. Now this is not going to be some fluff fest. I'm taking MY idea from that stupid OTP he did and was going to turn into an ongoing called Nerd Herd, Sarah Walker Speaking, and make it into the fic it needs to be. Also, there was no harm committed to any writers while…excuse me. (SHUT YOUR HOLE!) Ahem, there was no harm committed to any (WILL YOU GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE!) Screw it.

I don't own Chuck

Chuck opened the door to his apartment, and walked in. It had been three weeks since he had been there. Three weeks and one day since he had slept there. Three weeks and one day since he had last seen her – his on-again/off-again, but lately, mostly off-again – girlfriend, Sarah Walker. He tossed his bag on the couch, walked to the fridge, and opened it to find a single beer.

Grabbing the bottle, he shut the door, opened the beer, and took a swig. At that point, he found himself doing what he had done every night for the last three weeks after he came off stage; thinking about that night. He could still hear her giggling as they made love. Saying his name softly, reverently. He could still feel her cool skin that quickly heated to his touch.

He could feel her hot breath hit his ear when she said his name, gasped, and eventually orgasmed. He could feel her softness, and simultaneously how strong she was. He felt her fingers go through his hair, gently, and then as she approached the edge, how she would grasp him tightly, like he was a life preserver and she was lost in the ocean.

He still couldn't figure out how it happened. She'd kissed him, and rolled away from him, facing the other way. He had rolled away from her, not trusting himself not to snuggle against her. She said she needed thirty minutes of silence before sleep. He had told her he needed thirty minutes of snuggling, and that's when she had reminded him that's why they could never really be together.

There were too many differences, too much baggage on her end. They were just not right for each other; at least that what she kept insisting. She had broken up with him time after time, and they still found themselves together. And it wasn't just the sex. The sex was absolutely amazing. But what was even better were those moments between them, the intimacy… how much each one cared for the other.

He had awakened that morning, and found her in his arms, both naked, her arms wrapped around his hands.

And he had done the absolute dumbest thing.

He knew better. He knew.

And then, after he said what he had said, and he knew she had heard him, he had lied. He claimed he'd said nothing. And that was the last thing he had said to her, three weeks ago.

It was her idea, him joining the band. Or Morgan's, or some combination thereof. He never thought it would amount to anything. He snorted. Jeffster! What a God-awful name. They were a cover band, and a terrible one at that. But there was a growing following, and Sarah had insisted he go on the tour. Insisted he be single, so he could enjoy himself.

He hadn't, and he was pretty sure she knew it. What he still could not understand was why every time they broke up, she didn't see anyone else. God knows she had offers aplenty.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. He looked at the door in surprise, put his beer on the counter and walked over to the door. He wiped his hands on his pants. Still after all this time, they would sweat when he got nervous, and he was pretty sure who was standing on the other side of that door.

He opened the door, and his heart felt full. There she was. She didn't look pleased with him, but she was there. Whatever they were, whatever dumbass thing he had said, he knew they were friends and always would be. He opened his arms for a hug, and instead received the surprise of a lifetime.

An openhand slap hit him right across the face.

"How dare you!" she hissed, walking in and past him. Chuck moved his jaw around, wondering if it was dislocated. "How damn DARE you!"

Okay, so she obviously wasn't okay with him. He really wasn't sure what had brought this on… It couldn't have been what he said, could it?

Their relationship was so complicated. They both cared about the other, they both would do anything for the other, but one of them was terrified to be in a relationship. And the other couldn't believe she could ever want him.

"Sarah," he began.

She held up her hand, and he clamped his lips shut. He watched her, and then his face softened, seeing the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. He didn't say anything, he just walked over to her, and pulled her into a hug. She clung to him. "Why?" she asked softly. "Why did you have to?"

He sighed rubbed her back gently, trying to comfort her. He thought back to the day that he got kicked out of Stanford, not that long ago, and how much his life had changed.

a/n: This chapter was in Chuck's POV. The ones going forward will not be. I hope you enjoyed….(WILL YOU SHUT UP!?) it. Will someone come get this moron and let me write in peace?