"What IS it?" the man demanded, looking tense now.
"I'm going to have a baby," the woman blurted out. "Your baby."
The words took a moment to register, but before she knew it, the woman found herself seized by the wrist and flung into the wall by her boyfriend.
"You're WHAT?!" he hollered.
"Frank, stop!" she cried. "Don't hurt me!"
"I can't believe this, Christine!" Frank stormed over to his pregnant girlfriend and stood up again, grabbing her by the shoulder. "You disgusting little whore!"
"You had as much to do with it as I did, Frank," Christine said bitterly, turning away.
"Don't talk back to me!" Frank yelled, hitting Christine so hard that she slammed into the wall again. "This is all your fault!"
"How is it MY fault?!" Christine screamed at him, obviously trying not to cry. "I always let you do whatever the hell you wanted with my body! And now, when you knock me up, it's suddenly MY fault? How does THAT work?!"
"You stupid slut!" Frank hollered. Christine cried out in pain as she felt herself get clobbered once more, enough to bring her to her knees. "Don't blame me for this! You know you wanted it!"
"Listen to me, Frank, it's your baby too!" Christine insisted. That was a mistake.
"It is NOT mine!" Frank shouted, pulling Christine up by the hair and shoving her away. "I don't want it! And when it's born, its filthy little bitch of a mother can look after it!"
"Frank!" Christine cried.
"Leave my presence!" Frank backhanded Christine in the side of the face and pushed her towards the door. "I don't even want to look at you!"
Without another word, Christine exited the room, trembling and wiping tears, knowing her face would be bruised for at least a week…
"Ahh!" Hiei sat up in bed, looking around, his demon heartbeat much faster than usual. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was, couldn't discern whether that dream was real or in his head. It was the first sleep he'd had in a long time that wasn't dreamless.
That scene was one Hiei had seen yesterday on a ningen TV show; it was actually a soap opera dubbed over from some English-speaking country (he forgot which). It was cheesy, cliché, and dramatic, with a crappy Japanese dub to boot, but he couldn't stop himself from watching it anyway, for some reason. Still, that was one scene he wished he had missed, because that kind of abuse was sickening, and now that he was pregnant, it wouldn't leave his head.
Wait a minute…AM I pregnant?
Hiei looked around and, indeed, there was the Tree of Life; he had been so distracted from his nightmare that he hadn't noticed it before. But there it was, unmistakable. And all of a sudden, he felt nauseous again. Totally forgetting that he had a throw-up pot just for this purpose, he ran to the bathroom and threw up all over the floor because he didn't make it to the toilet. (Seriously, it didn't feel like he was going to have a baby. It felt like he was going to die.) When he looked out the window, the tree was still there.
And that tree didn't lie. It was now a solid fact, not a suspicion, that Hiei was pregnant. What was he going to do? And how was Kurama taking it? Was he angry? Since the fox-demon was gone, Hiei assumed he must be at work, but there was no way he could have missed the tree. Once again, Hiei thought of Frank and Christine from the soap opera. Hiei knew Kurama wouldn't smack him around like that, but what about all those words Frank had used? Kurama would never say them, but what if he was thinking them? Disgusting whore, stupid slut, filthy little bitch of a mother…
You ARE all those things, Hiei told himself, feeling ashamed. It had been his idea to have sex that day. There was no denying that. He was the one who had insisted, who had argued against "keeping it safe," until Kurama finally relented. In retrospect, it was careless and stupid, but Hiei had just been so horny. It was one of those times where if they didn't do it right away, he was going to explode—like an alcoholic trying to refuse a free drink, like a smoker trying to turn down a cigarette.
But now…look where it had gotten him. Hiei sunk down onto the ground and leaned on the toilet, sobbing so hard that his whole body shook. This was really rock-bottom, he thought, crying on the toilet in his pajamas with a puddle of vomit next to him, his yellow tear gems scattering onto the bathroom tiles like marbles. And then, as if things weren't bad enough, he heard the front door quietly open and close. His stomach lurched, and he was so startled that he stopped crying. Kurama was home? Why hadn't he gone to work?
Hiei's first thought was to jump out the window and leave, but then he realized he couldn't do that; he might be a disgusting whore, but he wasn't a coward. No matter what, he was going to deal with this situation like a man—albeit a pregnant man, but still.
Kurama's footsteps were soft on the stairs, and Hiei felt worse. Needless to say, Kurama headed for the bedroom, and once he saw that Hiei wasn't in bed, he knocked on the bathroom door.
"Are you in there, Hiei?" he asked softly.
"Yes," said Hiei, trying to make his voice sound normal, but his stuffed-up nose gave him away completely.
"Can I come in?"
"You don't want to," said Hiei, his voice shaking. Most of all, he didn't want Kurama to see the tear gems. "I threw up on the floor."
"Don't worry," said Kurama. "I'll clean it up. Just come out of there."
"No! Go away!" Hiei snapped, and then he started crying again. He couldn't believe it.
"Hiei, open the door," Kurama pleaded. "I want to talk to you."
"Well, I don't want to talk," Hiei sobbed. "I want you to leave me alone."
"I'm not going to leave a pregnant youkai alone to cry!" Kurama protested. "What do you think I am? Open the goddamn door!"
Finally, Hiei realized that this was an argument he was simply not going to win. So he got to his feet, however unsteadily, and opened the door, tears still lingering in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he sniffed.
"Oh, honey, don't be sorry!" Kurama pulled Hiei into his embrace and kissed him on top of the head. "You poor thing—how long have you been crying?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want some herbal tea?"
Hiei shook his head, burying his face in Kurama's chest.
"Well, what do you want, love?" Kurama asked, rubbing his back. "Do you want a bath? Do you want to sleep? Do you want to watch TV? Name it, and it's yours."
"I just…I just can't process it," Hiei mumbled.
"Look, hon, I know this is huge, but we'll get through it together," Kurama whispered, kissing Hiei's head again. "I love you so, so much."
"You're not angry?" Hiei asked, looking up into Kurama's eyes.
"Angry?" said Kurama in disbelief. "Why would I be angry? Come on, let's sit down on the bed, okay?"
Hiei numbly followed Kurama over to their soft bed. Kurama cuddled him close, not saying any words for a minute at all, until Hiei finally felt himself reach a sort of calm—but as he knew, when you had a big problem that wouldn't go away, those calms were only temporary. Soon the anxiety would return, the nagging reminder that he couldn't just sit there and incubate. They had to do something about it.
"Eventually, we'll have to discuss our plans for this baby," Kurama began gently, as if reading Hiei's thoughts. "But it's okay if you need some time. We don't need to talk right away."
"Yes, we do," Hiei gulped. "We need to get it over with."
"If you insist," said Kurama, looking a bit surprised. "Did you…did you have something in mind?"
"I want to hear what you think first," Hiei said nervously.
"All right," said Kurama, checking things off on his fingers. "The first thing we need to do is find a good Makaian doctor, preferably an elemental who specializes in obstetrics. The more experience, the better. We need to analyze our finances and recalculate where they're going to go. We need to do some research on our own, maybe visit the parenting section of a bookstore or something. There are a lot of other things we'll need to decide on, like recommended activity and weight gain, but most of those are preceded by a prenatal visit. Then there are things that are more fun, like deciding when to tell our friends and family, picking out names, shopping for baby clothes, designing the nursery—"
"Say that again," Hiei interrupted, putting out his palm to silence Kurama's lecture.
"Which bit? Weren't you listening?"
"I was listening, but, well…"
"Well, what?"
"All that last stuff!" Hiei blurted out. "The names, the clothes, the nursery—we don't need to do any of that, remember? That's up to the adoptive parents."
"The…the what?" Kurama looked the most confused Hiei had ever seen him. But then a thought struck Hiei.
"Kurama," said Hiei softly, looking down at his lap, "were you planning on keeping this baby?"
"Weren't you?" Kurama asked, now looking shocked.
"Are you out of your mind?!" said Hiei. "We can't have a baby! I thought we were going to put it up for adoption! I thought we were giving the baby to somebody who wants it!"
There was a long, long silence, where they just stared at each other. Hiei was relieved when Kurama finally broke it.
"I see." Kurama's voice was calm again as he set one hand gently on Hiei's shoulder. "We'll still need to consult with a doctor about having a healthy pregnancy. But when I get home this evening, I'll help you look into the adoption process."
"So you're going to work now?" said Hiei.
"Yes, I am." Kurama stood up and headed woodenly for the door. "But I have to make a few returns first."
Hiei stared at the door long after Kurama had shut it behind him. Looking back, he couldn't believe he had worried about Kurama blaming him for the pregnancy or being angry. No, he had wanted to keep the baby. And however terrifying Kurama was when he was angry, seeing him upset was about a million times worse.
TO BE CONTINUED...