The Nerd Versus the P.I. Family
By Steampunk . Chuckster
A/N: I apologize for any illness that ensues from you reading the sugary sweet sweetness of this fuggin' chapter.
Summary: Sarah Walker has uprooted her life, leaving her job with the LAPD and going it alone as a private investigator, all in the hopes it provides her with less dangerous stakes and a schedule she can control so that she can handle her most important job, raising her toddler, a bit easier. But when the single parent thinks her computer might've been targeted by a criminal, she has to request help from the unlikeliest of sources: The Buy More Nerd Herd.
Disclaimer: I do not own CHUCK, I do not own its characters, I am not making money from posting this.
"Who heeeeeeere?"
Max stood at the door, looking up at it, yelling through to whoever was on the other side. Sarah didn't know if he'd gotten a response or not, but she was too preoccupied with rushing out of the kitchen and smoothing her hands down her dress, eyeing her hair in the dark reflection of the microwave and giving up when she couldn't tell if she looked as ragged as she felt.
Instead she spun to look at Carina, gesturing to her hair. "This okay?"
"Oh my God, you're a wreck," the redhead laughed, going to the door.
"I am?"
"Not your hair, stupid, I mean, like…freaking out about how you look. You're basically a model and you're in a tight freaking dress. The man's going to go into cardiac arrest. Just chill the heck out."
Carina grabbed Max under his arms and swung him out of the way of the door as he yelled, "Wheeeeeeee!", setting him down again, before she grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open.
Sarah watched from behind as Carina leaned her hip and shoulder against the door jauntily.
"Ah, so we meet again. Bring me any stickers?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. "Carina, let the man in."
She couldn't help patting her hair one more time, shifting her weight, she realized belatedly she hadn't even put her damn heels on yet. Nor had she picked out which jacket she would wear on the date, damn it.
She was crashing through the options in her closet in her mind's eye as Chuck finally stepped into view. And her brain stopped everything immediately. He'd definitely taken into advisement the dress code when they'd texted earlier after he finished his work.
He wore a pristine, crisp black suit, shoes that weren't sneakers, like actual black leather shoes…and he had a red tie, more of a burgundy color really.
"No stickers for you, Carina, I'm sorry. But I do have something." He held up his finger that wasn't clutched around a small bouquet of gorgeous red flowers wrapped in construction paper. And then he dug in his back pocket as Carina shut the door behind him, a surprised look on her face.
Sarah inwardly smirked. All of her teasing considered, perhaps Carina had met her match.
He pulled a thumb drive out of his pocket and wiggled it. "This is the best hack protection software that's on the market right now. Just pop it into your computer or laptop, download it, and it'll do the rest. It runs once every other day and will catch anything foreign lurking around your system. It isolates the threat and warns you."
Carina blinked. "Wait, for me?"
"Yeah. I figure after what Sarah's computer went through, whoever did that might go after someone at the DA's office next. So that'll be a good addition to the advice I gave Sarah that she, um, copied for you."
"Wow. Um, dang. Uh, thank you. This was so nice." The redhead swept shocked blue eyes over Chuck's shoulder to give Sarah her best what the fuck look as she took the drive, which must've alerted Chuck to the fact that she was standing behind him. And he spun to face her, a big smile on his face.
And it died just as fast. It was like someone had reached in and pulled the plug on his brain, his features going blank, slack even. And then his brown eyes slowly dipped to take the rest of her in, before wandering back up to her face.
She heard the soft swish of the flowers he'd been holding hitting the floor.
Carina just laughed and she heard Max's laughter too. She wasn't sure they were laughing about the same thing.
Chuck shook himself and quickly looked down to realize he'd dropped what he'd been holding. "Oh. Sh-Uhhhh…Not that. Darn it. I…dropped my…your…" He was blushing as he snatched the flowers off of the floor and fixed them just so, as if he knew what he was doing, before re-wrapping them. And to his credit, he did chuckle at himself, his eyes sneaking peeks at her here and there, she couldn't help noticing.
"Hi. Hello, e-everyone." But he was looking right at her when he said it, that slow smile on his face.
And she was certain there wasn't anyone on the planet cuter than this adorable cartoon character of a man.
"Hello, you," she said smoothly, closing the distance and squeezing his arm.
"These are for you. I don't know, um, what…they are. They started with an 'r' but they aren't roses. I almost think they're prettier which is why I got 'em."
"Ranunculus," Carina said with a wink. "That's very romantic of you, Chuck. Those are the flowers of romance."
"Really? I didn't…know that." He turned back to look at Sarah again and he swallowed hard. "You are beautiful."
The way he said it, no lead-up, in such a breathy voice as if he was in awe of her, and with such certainty… Not 'You look beautiful' but 'You are beautiful'… Sarah had no idea how to respond to that.
She delicately wrapped her fingers around his where they gripped the flowers and she pulled them from his grasp, clutching them close to her chest. And she reached out with her other hand to smooth it down his tie. "Thank you. You look very dapper."
"Thanks. Thank you. You said formal attire so I went digging and found this ol' thing."
"You two coordinate the colors?" Carina asked, still clutching the thumb drive. Max was standing close to her, behind her really, one arm around her leg, his eyes big again as they took Chuck in.
Chuck looked down at Sarah's dress again, then picked up his tie. "Oh hey. It's a little off on the hue but not by much. Score." He held up his hand for Sarah to high five him and she did, giggling. "That was accidental. Honestly this and a dark blue tie are the only two I currently have in my closet that aren't Buy More ties. No way am I wearing a Buy More tie to a formal date," he said with not a trace of unease or embarrassment. He was just who he was.
He must've caught sight of Max then as he answered Carina because his body went rigid, almost as if he'd forgotten there'd be a two year old here too. She couldn't blame him for it. Max was probably a serious rarity for this guy, especially in his dating life. Had Chuck dated other single moms before? She highly doubted it. Few people in their twenties had, she imagined.
To his credit, he loosened up immediately and cut his height more than in half by crouching on the floor, putting one knee down and leaning his weight on it as he fished around in his suit jacket's inner pocket.
"Hey! How are ya, Max?"
Max didn't respond, just smiling and pushing his face into Carina's jeans.
"Max, say hello to Chuck," Sarah said gently. "He asked how you are."
"'Lo," Max muttered. "I good."
"Are ya?" Chuck responded. And then he made a triumphant sound, an "Ah-ha!" And he pulled his hand back out of his pocket. "I did actually bring you something. It's very important." He offered it to Max then, thrusting his arm out between them.
Sarah stepped closer to look. She gasped for Max's benefit. "Max, come and get your sticker book. That's a sticker book, right?" she muttered to Chuck.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "I figured he liked the stickers so much, he can have a whole book of 'em."
It was small, about the size of a passport sleeve, but it was half an inch thick, which meant she'd be finding stickers in awkward places around the house, at her office, in her car, perhaps even at the police precinct, for years. And yet, she decided it was worth it.
Because Max closed the distance in a flash and took the book. "Dat more stickooahs?" His blue eyes went big. "Myyy?"
"They're all yours," the curly-haired nerd chuckled.
"Say thank you to Chuck for bringing you stickers," Sarah muttered at her son who was still obviously very shy around Chuck. She could relate, she supposed. The guy had a habit of being a little overwhelming.
"T'ank'oo."
"You're welcome," the man kneeling on her entryway floor said with so much warmth that she wanted to just lean down and wrap her arms around him. "I don't know if you'll like all of those stickers, but there are lots of animals, which I know you like for sure."
"Ah dey f'owehs too?"
Chuck narrowed his eyes as if he was trying to figure out what her son had just said. But then she watched the lightbulb go off over his head, his features clearing, so she kept her mouth shut. "Flowers! Oh! You like flowers?"
"Mommy an' me y'ike f'owehs."
That made him grin. "I like flowers, too. I'm just not very good at knowing which ones are which. So when I'm picking some out at the store, know what I do?" Max shook his head, ducking his chin shyly, wrinkling the sticker book between his hands. "I pick the ones I think are the prettiest."
"Oh, datta good idee."
"Thank you. I think it's a pretty good idea, too, if I do say so myself."
Max very precisely crouched then, without warning, carefully put the sticker book on the floor, stood back up, and walked around Chuck towards the kitchen. Chuck swiveled where he knelt on the floor to watch and then looked up at Sarah in question.
All she could do was shrug. She had no idea what Max was up to.
He went to the refrigerator and tried to pull on the handle with a grunt, and then he made a whiney sound and said "Dis. Dis. Dis."
"You want something out of the fridge, Max, just say it. Remember? You don't whine when you want me to do something for you," Sarah said as she joined him at the refrigerator. "Say, 'Mommy, will you open this for me please?' Remember?"
"Yeah. I need it p'ease."
"Close enough," she muttered to herself, shaking her head and opening it. They all watched as he then stepped halfway into the refrigerator to try to get something. "What are you wanting?"
"Uhmust! Uhmust! P'ease!"
"You want the hummus?"
"Yes. Dis."
"Okay…" She took it down and offered it to him. He took it in both hands and then walked it back through the kitchen. "Are you hungry again or…?"
But he ignored her, going straight for Chuck.
"Uhmust," he said then, offering the small container of hummus to Chuck.
The room went silent.
"For me?" the Nerd Herd specialist finally asked, poking himself in the chest.
"Dis."
Sarah barely kept herself from crumbling into a heap on the floor as she went to the drawer and pulled a spoon out. She knew what her son was doing now, and she thought she might die from how sweet it was.
She wandered over to them with the spoon and offered it to Chuck. "You said on the phone that you love hummus so he's sharing ours with you. Right, Max?"
"Yeah. I s'air."
"He shares," Sarah clarified.
Chuck just looked at him, his eyes wide, and then he turned the wide eyes up to Sarah, before his smile practically exploded onto his face. "Aw man. I have to tell you, Max, nobody's ever been this nice to me before, sharing their hummus with me. Hummus is priceless."
Max just smiled and hid behind Sarah's leg, holding onto it. And they watched as Chuck peeled the lid off of the container, taking the spoon from Sarah's fingers, his features lit in pure happiness as his eyes met hers. He dipped the spoon inside, took some hummus, and then popped it between his lips.
"Mmmmmmm! Oh my goodness, this is the best hummus ever!" he exclaimed, falling back onto his backside. "Mmmmmm! Yumm!"
Max giggled riotously. And then he came over and took Chuck's hand that held the spoon, pushing it towards the hummus then stepping back and watching with an expectant grin, shaking his hands up by his shoulders in excitement.
"Again?" Chuck asked. "I can't. I don't wanna double dip."
Sarah laughed. "Just do it. Nobody here cares."
Shrugging, Chuck dipped the spoon back in, plunging more hummus into his mouth. "Mmmmmmmmmmmm! Oh man this is so good, Max!"
Max gave full belly laughs, rocking forward he was laughing so hard. Sarah couldn't help laughing with him. He thought the weirdest shit was so damn funny, and she just had to accept it.
Chuck put the lid back onto the hummus, smartly she thought…as her son would keep him at that until he ate all of the hummus. Once Max really got going on something he thought was funny, it became a never-ending and exhausting ordeal. She'd spent hours doing the dumbest things because it kept him laughing before.
"Thank you for sharing with me, Max. This was very nice," Chuck said, standing up.
"I'll take those," Sarah said, winking at him as he met her gaze, and she took the hummus and spoon from him, sticking the hummus in the fridge and tossing the spoon into the sink with the rest of the dishes. "Red, I'm sorry I'm leaving these dishes here. You don't have to do them. I'll—"
"I've got it. Don't worry about it." Sarah sent her a look. "I said don't worry. Just have a good date. And, um, don't forget to put shoes on. Maybe."
Sarah looked down, then back up again, sending her friend a faux glare. "I just hadn't gotten to that yet. But thank you."
A slight blush on her face, she came out of the kitchen. "I'm just gonna get my shoes and a jacket."
"Oh. Yeah, definitely get a warm one, 'cause it's cold out there." He shivered dramatically and Max giggled again before he shut his eyes and did a "buhbuhbuhbuhbuh" in attempt to copy what Chuck did, hugging himself as if he was cold. Chuck pointed at him. "That was excellent, my dude."
"Dooood." Max laughed again.
"Oh God, please don't teach him the word dude," Carina groused, rolling her eyes.
Sarah left them behind to grab her coat and shoes, just barely resisting the urge to freaking skip.
But as she came back out and saw Carina holding Max as they spoke with Chuck, she saw her friend give her a certain look. And then she mouthed "potential" and raised her eyebrows, as if wordlessly saying, Told you.
Sarah glared a bit. She understood what Carina was trying to do, keeping her feet on the ground because Max was involved. But this was the same woman who tried to shove her into men's arms and told her she didn't date enough and that she did so few things that were just for herself. And here she was psyching Sarah out now that she was dating, now that she was trying to do something that was just for herself.
"Will you be good for Carina, please?" she asked Max, pointedly not meeting Carina's look now. She kissed his temple and smoothed his wavy hair back from his forehead. "Love you."
"Luvoo."
"Nice to see you again, Max." Chuck stretched his hand out and Max shyly buried his face in Carina's shoulder. "Hey, this is just to thank you for sharing your hummus."
Still shy, the two and a half year old stuck his own hand out, letting Chuck take it and give it a little shake. "T'ank'oo da stickooahs."
"You're welcome."
"Bye, you two. Have fun."
This time there was no wink from Carina. Mercifully. And Sarah was able to escape into the hallway with just a 'thanks again' and no more antics from the redhead.
This time the walk through the hallway was a lot easier as she shouldered her purse.
The quiet between them was a lot more comfortable as they stepped into the elevator.
Chuck turned and smiled at her. "It's really good to see you."
She sighed, her eyelids fluttering. "God, I feel that. It's a relief being in this elevator with you right now."
It seemed like she struck the right chord with that because he blushed, grinning. He cast his gaze back at her again and took her in, not for the first, second, or even third time. "Honestly, Sarah. I was trying to…I mean, your two year old was right there. And your friend. So I didn't. I mean, I was an idiot and dropped the flowers so that probably conveyed it well enough, the whole actions speak louder than words thing, but you look so God damn stunning it just about knocked me back on my ass in there when I first saw you."
He had no right talking like that while he was wearing this suit.
The weird tingle of nerves in her limbs since he knocked on the door were dulled by the voice telling her to stop second-guessing and to just do the damn thing. So she shook her head at him, then stepped in close, taking his face between her hands and pulling him down for a kiss.
She broke the kiss gently, not giving him a chance to have his surprise wear off before she pulled back, knowing that if she didn't do that…well, the elevator in her building where she saw her neighbors every day wasn't exactly the place for that.
Sarah watched Chuck as he pulled his lips back between his teeth and narrowed his eyes, facing forward again. "Yeah, it's really, really good to see you."
That made her giggle and she felt a blush on her face.
A few minutes later, they were in his car and he was driving in the direction she sent him in. She couldn't help noticing how good it felt to be away from her office and, if only for a night, away from the toddler. Max had been connected to her hip for days now, sometimes literally. She had to force him to walk around because he kept wanting her to pick him up, and have him on her lap when she was sitting, on her hip when she was standing, while she was working or cooking. Her mom did the whole "Uh ohhhh, he's hitting that needy phase" thing about it. She didn't know how long that phase lasted, and she loved a good cuddle, but it just felt good to have a night of being out here, free from the difficult parts of parenting, if only for a few hours.
She knew she could never say that out loud to anyone without sounding like a horrible person. She felt terrible enough just thinking it.
Shaking herself a little, she turned to look at Chuck as they sat at a stoplight. "So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Chuck…" He gave her a concerned look, even with her teasing tone. "But you're going to have to get onto the 10 up here." She pointed further up the street where the 10 West sign was with the arrow that pointed straight ahead.
"Oh, nooooo!" he laughed. "You're taking me to dinner someplace that requires driving on the 10?! What were you thinking?"
"I know, I'm terrible," she said, with a dramatic sigh. "I just hope the food is worth it."
His grin lit up the inside of the car as he guided them towards the onramp. "It could be mud between two slices of white bread, and it'd still be worth it if I'm sitting across the table from you."
Sarah couldn't help laughing at that. "God, you with your one liners."
"Was that a really bad one?" he asked, chuckling.
"I mean, it was cheesier than actual cheese, but it was also very sweet. You're good at striking that balance. And I guess I'm finding out that I don't really mind cheesy."
"Uh oh." She gave him a questioning look and he grinned cheekily. "Don't say that. I'll take it to heart. You're setting precedent here, private eye."
"I'm not sure I know what that's gonna look like, but I'm willing to stick around to find out," she shot back, raising her eyebrow.
Chuck bit his bottom lip and wrinkled his nose as he merged left. "That sounds good to me."
She had something smart on the tip of her tongue, but just as she opened her mouth, her phone rang in her purse. She'd normally put her phone on silent, especially for a date with someone she legitimately liked, but that had stopped being possible when she had a child. Becoming a private investigator had made it even more impossible.
Digging in her purse, she pulled it out. "Crap, I'm sorry, Chuck. Can I take this? I'm sorry."
"Of course you can. Please!" He thrust a placating hand out, shaking his head.
She gave him a grateful look and put her phone to her ear. "Yeah?"
"We had a breakthrough. Can you come to the station right now?"
"Um, I-I can't. Actually. Not at the moment, at least." But she had curiosity blasting through her. "What is it? What's happened?" She tried to ignore Chuck's concerned look, but she couldn't, and she met his gaze and shook her head, mouthing 'It's not Max'. The relief on his face made whatever Captain Casey was saying to her go in one ear and out the other. She felt the smile on her face as she stared at him.
"Walker? You listening?"
She shook herself out of it. "Uh, yes. Yeah. Sorry. I am. What?"
He grumbled in annoyance. "I said what's so damn important that you can't come to the station so I can talk to you in person and not over the phone? Considering what we're dealing with, that might not be the best idea."
"Look, I can't just drop everything and teleport to your side. I have responsibilities…" She trailed off. She could just use Max as an excuse, but she didn't specifically want to say the words out loud, because that would be way easier to peg as an outright lie to the freaking Captain of the LAPD downtown precinct. This way, he might just assume it was Max on his own and she wouldn't be a complete liar.
And she thought that ended up being his assumption as he relented with a grunt. "Fine. Morning."
"Is it big?"
"Medium-sized. It's a lead, at least. Something to grab onto and find out what's at the other end."
"A pot of gold, maybe," she muttered.
"Sure. That'd be nice. See you in the morning."
"Got it. Thanks."
She hung up and put her phone back in her purse. And she realized she was buzzing with anticipation, the curiosity reaching a near-breaking point.
"Everything okay?" Chuck asked.
"Fine, yeah. Just, um, a lead maybe. In one of my cases."
"That's awesome!"
"Maybe." She raised her eyebrows, fidgeting. "Hopefully. I don't know. I'll find out tomorrow."
He was quiet. And finally, he cleared his throat and shrugged. "Did they want you to go to the station now? Which station is it? I mean, if you need to—"
"No!" she said adamantly, pointing her finger at him. He winced. "We are eating dinner at this nice restaurant where I made reservations and we aren't turning around or canceling for anything. No Lovey returns. No cases." Even if it was kind of hurting her insides not to rush over there right now and find out what this lead was. "Just…dinner. For fucking once."
He nodded vigorously. "Okay. You got it. Just dinner. Want to make sure you know I'm okay with it if you need to check on a case. I know how P.I.s work, Sarah. Always have the case on the brain. Twenty four/seven."
She giggled, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, it's an around the clock job, for sure, but it isn't actually like whatever TV shows you're going off of."
He gasped in affront, his hand going to his chest. "Wow. What makes you think I got all my knowledge from watching TV shows?"
"You, uh, talk about it all the time."
"Touché."
She laughed. "And I appreciate the offer, Chuck, but honestly?" She paused. "Can I be completely honest with you?"
"Always," he said easily, sending her a warm look. God damn, the way he just said shit like that.
"I just need a break. One night. Not gonna lie, my sleuth-gut is screaming at me to go and find out what this is all about. But my mom's right—not that I'd ever admit this to her—I have got to give myself a mental break from everything at some point. And I guess I've decided that this is it. My mental break. Tonight." Maybe that was too honest, and he didn't make her feel much better by giving her a wide-eyed look. "Sorry. I hope that isn't too much pressure."
He chuckled and shook his head. "It's pressure, for sure. But I'm going to do my best to handle the pressure like a fuggin' champ."
"If anything, you can take it as a compliment. Being around you is like…brain vacation."
He made a thoughtful face. "Is that a compliment? Oh thank God, I don't have to use my brain around you, Chuck."
Sarah cracked up. "That is not what I mean, you turd!"
"Turd?" He rocked forward with laughter. "Is that the sort of potty mouth language you're going to be teaching your son?"
"Maybe!" She smacked his arm teasingly, still laughing. "The point I'm making is that I don't feel…stress around you. I feel like I can just be. And…I don't know, relax."
"Ah…" His smile seemed muted, but not exactly in a bad way. It was almost like he was forcing himself not to react the way he probably wanted to. Like he was afraid to be too pleased by what she'd said. So she thought Carina was at least partly right in what she'd said about Chuck earlier. He was trying here, and not so hard that it was too much and blatant. It was just enough that it made her feel good. "Well, for what it's worth," he continued, "being around you is kinda like a brain vacation for me, too. Everywhere I turn, I feel like people have these expectations. Chuck, do this, do that. We need this, we need that. You need to be this, but not that. Gah!" He gestured at the slowing traffic in front of him with a frustrated outstretched hand.
"It's okay, the exit is actually right up here if you can get over."
"Oh, I can get over," he drawled, an almost-evil smirk on his face. She giggled.
As he finally maneuvered the car off of the 10, he continued. "When we're hanging out together, I get to leave all that crap behind and simply…exist." He waved his hand through the air grandly. "Be what I am. Who I am."
"That's exactly it," she said warmly, reaching over to squeeze his arm. "Take a left here."
"Left. Got it."
"That reminds me. You had to call to push off this date a few hours for something you were helping the police with in one of their cases. And you made it sound like some really difficult stuff. How'd that go?" She winced almost immediately. "Oh my God, and I ask this right after both of us talk about this being a brain vacation. I swoop in with questions about your work."
"No, no. It's okay," he chuckled good-naturedly. "I, um, I was able to find a way to give them what they needed. Finally. I did it."
She could read the abject relief on his face, and she felt some pride suddenly. Giving him a smug and impressed look, letting him see every bit of it, she drawled, "Well, I knew you would."
Even in the low light of the car's interior, she could see his blush. "Hah. I didn't have quite as much faith. It just wasn't something I really thought was all that possible, but me, being so eager to please… I was like, SURE, I CAN DO THAAAT," he exclaimed, and he rolled his eyes with a groan. "Turns out it was possible, but I had to basically pull a rabbit out of my hat."
"You know what?"
"Hm."
"You just gave us something we can celebrate tonight. Know what that means?"
"What's that mean?" he asked, his features creased in happiness as he glanced at her.
"We get to order champagne."
He laughed and punched his fist in the air between them. "Oh yessssss!"
}o{
He tilted the champagne flute to his lips and drained quite a bit of it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had champagne, and especially not champagne this good. He glanced down at the plate he'd practically licked clean, and he was filled with an immeasurable amount of contentment.
"You absolutely dominated the restaurant choice tonight, Sarah," he announced, glancing over his glass rim at her.
She slipped the last few bits of her gnocchi dish into her mouth and chewed around a smile, the light from the candle in the middle of the table dancing in her blue eyes. "Thank you. I'm pretty pleased with it."
"Good gnocchi?"
"Excellent. And your steak?"
"Godlike, honestly. I've never had a steak this perfectly medium. I think it's probably ruined steak for me." She sent him a scandalized look and he shrugged. "I mean, I'm gonna keep eating it anyway."
That got a giggle out of her.
"You know, this is the sort of dining experience I was planning on us having on our first date, with the delicious expensive food and the fancy atmosphere and the candlelight and all of that." He grinned at her and sipped his champagne.
But she winced in response, looking embarrassed and regretful. "If it wasn't for me forgetting to take my son's favorite sleep toy out of my bag and completely ruining your planning."
"Whoa, whoa. Hey. I didn't bring that up to make you feel guilty about it. No guilt. Wipe that guilt off of your face, please, thank you." She giggled again, pointedly making her face blank in response. "I was actually going to say, this is a much better turn of events. At least, in my opinion."
"How so?" she asked, tilting her head and grabbing the bottle of champagne they were sharing, making a grabby hand for him to pass her his glass. He snorted and gave it to her.
"Thank you." She smiled, handing it back and pouring more for herself. "I dunno. I can't help thinking an atmosphere like this on the first date is kind of…intense? Maybe too intense? Could just be my innumerable insecurities talking," he admitted, earning a chastising look, "but this formalness could potentially, like, I dunno, dictate the tone of the rest of the date. Maybe it'd make it more impersonal? Distant? And instead of that, we ate tacos on the roof of my car and drank Mexican coke, and it felt so chill and easy. We got that first date out of the way and it was so good and now we're a few dates along… This is the perfect time to drop in a formal setting, when we're already comfortable with each other. I-I mean, at least, I'm comfortable with you. So that this fancy, expensive restaurant atmosphere doesn't…permeate the comfort levels here. Now. Am I talking too much? I'm talking too much. Please tell me to shut up and drink my champagne."
Her face had softened significantly as he spoke, her blue eyes fastened on his face, and he saw amusement there as well. But it felt like a different kind of amusement than he was used to. It didn't feel like she was laughing at him.
Sarah leaned in closer. And then with a slow precision, she said, "No. I will not." Then she pursed her lips and twisted them to the side, leaning her elbow on the tabletop, propping her chin in her palm. "S'far as I'm concerned, you can keep talking all night. I'll just sit here and listen."
"No, please. Don't do that to yourself."
Sarah giggled, shaking her head at him. "No, really. I think you're right about this being the perfect time for the formal, fancy restaurant. And I-I do feel comfortable. With you. Still. In spite of what we're wearing, what we're eating, and how much of a dent it's gonna make in my bank account." She raised her eyebrows, the corners of her mouth twitching back in a wince.
"Well, half of it will be going into my bank account, so…"
"Ah ah. No. I picked the pricey restaurant. I planned the date. I asked you out. I'm paying. Next time we end up somewhere fancy, you can pick it and you can pay."
He felt his grin grow slowly over his face as he gazed over the table at her. "Next time?"
She furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. "What, you already done with me? Is it because I made you drive on the 10?"
Chuck cracked up, earning startled looks from the nearby tables. He covered his mouth, making Sarah laugh, and he mouthed, "Oops".
"Look, Chuck," she said, her giggles subsiding a little, "Even if I didn't like you this much, I'd be an idiot not to keep a guy around with your masterful tech skills." She smirked. "I hope you don't mind me saying that."
Chuckling, he mimicked her pose, his elbow on the table, chin in his hand. "Oh, not at all. Happy to be used by a beautiful badass private eye for my masterful tech skills."
"Happy, huh?" she asked, obviously amused.
"Definitely. I knew someday that this big brain and fast fingers would come in handy with women."
This time Sarah was the one who got the side-eyes from nearby diners when she burst into laughter.
It seemed like a foregone conclusion that they should ask for the check and move their conversation out of the quiet space that was this back room of the restaurant.
The way back to his car was plagued by cooler than usual weather, but he didn't mind it, because it meant his date had curled her hands around his arm and was leaning tightly against his side.
And because he couldn't go one full date without his alleged "big" brain pulling some kind of overthinking bullshit move, he decided to try to fill the silence with his equally big mouth.
"D'you want a mint?"
Sarah reared back and looked up at him through her eyelashes.
"I have some in my jacket pocket. I am gonna have one. I thought maybe you'd…want one. Not that you need one! Like your breath is bad or something. I was just—I never think about the food I'm ordering. I'm always like 'ooo that looks good!' And then it's, like, smothered in garlic and I'm on a date and smell bad for the rest of the night. Like, who's the smart guy who ordered the steak covered in caramelized shallots and bleu cheese? That'd be me." He took the tin out of his pocket and shook it, the mints inside rattling noisily.
She laughed and shook her head. "Well, I'll take a mint, I guess, but if it makes you feel better, I haven't noticed your breath at all." The teasing look she sent him made him feel better. As if maybe his spiraling was noticed and that she didn't seem to mind it. Seriously, at every turn, he liked her more and more.
"Oh good," he laughed, opening the tin and holding it out for her to get hers first. She delicately picked one up between her fingers and popped it between her lips. He did the same. "Sorry, anyway."
"Chuck, you get to eat whatever the fuck you want when you're on a date with me. I have a two year old. I'm absolutely positive he has forced me to smell things that you could never even come close to no matter what you eat." She cracked up at the grossed out face he couldn't stop in time.
"The perks of parenting?" he asked, laughing with her.
"Less of a perk, more of a necessity," she corrected, giving him a flat look. She hugged his arm to her chest with both hands clasping his bicep and grinned toothily then. "Anyway, as long as that steak you ordered was good, who cares?"
"Oh, it was good. It was magnificent. I couldn't help thinking of the disapproving look my sister's boyfriend would've given it, though." He chuckled.
"Disapproving? It looked amazing."
"I love the guy, but he's a beef snob."
"Never met a beef snob," she said with a snort.
"If you look hard enough, you'll find that everything has at least one person who's a snob about it. Salt, pepper, that's it. He says cooking it right is the art. And the meat provides it's own flavor. The guy takes it so seriously. I can't even put steak sauce on the table in the rare occasion we eat steaks together. He'll glare at me. And the guy is so happy-go-lucky and non-judgmental about everything else."
"That's intense," she laughed.
"It's so intense. Me? I love stuff on my steak. Smother it in balsamic, onions, bleu cheese, Worcestershire sauce, barbecue sauce…ehhh, maybe less that last one, but I love heaping stuff on top of my steak."
"Me, too. Max hasn't acquired a taste for cheeses that aren't basically just, like, the simple cheddar or Swiss or provolone—not yet anyway—but I'm going to start sneaking in things like bleu and brie and feta to try to get him to broaden his tastes pretty soon here."
"Wait, he loves hummus but not strong cheeses?"
"I know. Weirdo, right?"
He laughed, genuinely tickled by this. "I think that's probably just kids for you. When I was a kid I hated cauliflower. I thought it was demon food." A laugh burst out of her and he grinned at the sound of it. "Turns out it's just regular food and I like it fine as an adult."
"Demon food. I like that. You were one of those kids with the imaginations that went crazy, huh? Did you think monsters were hiding in the dark places in your room?"
"Oh hell yeah. I thought they were everywhere I couldn't see. And I even knew what they looked like. And I knew which dimension they were from. Typically they ranged from the seventh to the tenth or eleventh dimension, depending on how ugly they were."
She threw her head back with a laugh. "There is no seventh, tenth, or eleventh dimension."
"Not that we know of," he said, raising his pointer finger in a scholarly way, arching one eyebrow and narrowing his eyes.
"Oh God, you're a geek. You're probably worse now than when you were a kid, aren't you?"
"For sure! Come on. When you're a kid, you can get away with that weird shit. What's my excuse for knowing Klingon now? As a grown mid-twentiesish man? I don't have one. I have no excuse."
"You don't need one," she said, shaking her head, beaming up at him. They arrived at his car and he opened the door for her. "Once you're an adult, you get to do what the fuck you want," she said with a resolute nod. "Barring, like…committing crimes, obviously."
"Um, two things… Uh, hold that thought, though."
She'd swung herself down into her seat and he shut the door behind her, dashing around to his side and hopping in behind the wheel.
"One? I'd be in deep shit if they made being fluent in Klingon illegal. That isn't an easy thing to unlearn. My brain is bad at unlearning. Ask my sister about all of the bad habits I haven't unlearned yet." He winked as she laughed, and then he started up the car. "Two? I'm going out with a professional private eye who has friends in the LAPD. No way am I ever committing a crime now."
Sarah snorted adorably. "You'd better not. I've already had to do enough explaining to those guys at the station about the men I date without having to deal with explaining the fact that I'm dating a criminal."
He winced dramatically and she laughed.
}o{
"So does this count as a crime?"
"Technically, yes. We're on private property and shouldn't be trespassing." She gave him a mischievous look that made his insides come alive. "But if we don't get caught, technically we aren't committing the crime."
He snickered. "You have a pretty loose position on the law for an ex-police officer."
"I'm a loose woman," she said smartly, wiggling her fingers up by her face.
Chuck laughed, surprised by her response. "That sounds pretty awesome, actually. Can I get another date?"
She groaned and chuckled, shaking her head. "You're terrible."
"I am, yes. And the consensus is that I only get worse the longer you know me. Escape now. Bwahahaha."
She pushed at his shoulder with a snort. "I'm not going anywhere. We drove through wilderness practically to get up here, which…I have so many questions about how you even found this place," she added, giving him a suspicious look, "but do you think I'm walking my ass back down all that in these heels? Hell no."
Chuck cracked up. "Fair. And about how I found this place?" He smirked devilishly. "I plead the fifth."
"You know pleading the fifth makes you look very guilty, right?"
"I am aware, yes." He winked.
"Oh, nah ah. No. You can't allude to something wicked and then just wink at me like that. Especially when I haven't packed my handcuffs." She picked up her purse and shook it, before putting it down again.
"Do you get handcuffs as a P.I.?!" he exclaimed.
She gave him a weirded out look and laughed, shaking her head. "I just threw some major sexual innuendo your way and instead of taking advantage of it, you geek out over whether or not I get to cuff people. You are one of a kind, Chuck Bartowski."
Chuck opened his mouth to respond, then realized she was absolutely, one hundred percent correct. He snapped it shut again, his teeth clicking. "Oh, shit. Shit, I messed that up. Can we go back? Talk to me about handcuffs again."
Her laughter filled the car and made his insides beam. "Let's move on from the handcuffs and instead talk about how you found this place." She bit her lip. "And, hmmm, while we're at it…who you brought here before me."
The Nerd Herd area specialist pressed his lips together, narrowing his eyes. "Uhhhhhhhhhh…I'm not sure how to respond to thaaaat…"
"I'm kidding," she chuckled, her hand landing on the crook of his neck and shoulder. God, her fingers slid over his skin just over his jacket's collar and he shivered in pleasure. Her fingers were cool against him but he liked it. He couldn't help wanting more. "I'm not making you talk about the other women you brought up here before me."
"Other women?" He laughed dismissively. "Pffft. Sarah. This isn't where I take women. I didn't take high school girlfriends up here, even though I guess it kinda looks like the right place for it…" It was an outlook spot with tire tracks on the grass as if many people had found this spot before, even though he'd magically never run into anyone else up here. A cliff plummeted past the fence at the edge and beyond it was the downtown skyline. And in the other direction, you could make out the Hollywood sign up on the side of the hill. At least a few of the letters, the others obscured by the trees surrounding Chuck's car.
"This is the quintessential make-out point, Chuck," Sarah said, giving him a look he couldn't read.
"Well, I've only ever taken myself up here. A place to get away from everything for a little while, and…take it all in. My home. You know? It's so pretty from up here. And anything that's bugging me just seems kinda trivial in relation to…all of that." He gestured at the view.
"You really want me to believe you never took a girl up here to romance her…"
He shook his head. And then something occurred to him and he whipped around to face her. "Oh. Oh, no, I—Wow, you must've thought I brought you here for that. I'm not really…that kind of guy. I mean, I wouldn't go into this date with that kind of…expectation. What's that? What's the look on your face? I didn't bring you here to make-out, Sarah."
She tilted her head to the side, a quiet smile on her face, and she raised her eyebrows, her gaze darting off to the side, almost shyly. "Well, why the hell not?"
His jaw fell open and he let out a breathless chuckle, in awe of her. "I g-guess I brought you here because I trust you not to…ruin this spot for me, or ruin its secret."
The teasing glint in her eye faded then and she just watched him for an almost uncomfortably long moment. She finally spoke up, "I'm genuinely the first person you brought here?"
"Yeah." He shrugged. "You talked earlier about needing more brain vacations for your mental health. So I thought you'd get something out of knowing about this…place… What?" As he was talking, she gently reached up and stroked his jaw, turning his face towards her.
"I feel kinda stupid asking this question, but it also feels important to get permission before I do it since this place seems to mean a lot to you and you entrusted me with its secret…" He waited patiently for her to continue as she wrinkled her nose cutely and shrugged one shoulder, blushing. "If I kiss you, will it ruin this spot for you?"
A grin blew up over his face and he closed the distance, kissing her. That'd be answer enough, he thought. She giggled into his lips and cupped his jaw with both of her hands, pulling him in closer.
At some point, Chuck ended up draped over the center console, his upper body twisted towards her even as his legs were still wedged under the steering wheel. He didn't care that it was uncomfortable. He kept kissing her, sighing as she slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her with a quick yank.
He went to round her body with his arm and slammed his elbow hard against the steering wheel, breaking the kiss with a loud, "OW!"
"Oh. Oh God, are you okay?" she asked, panting out a laugh, her hand stroking down his cheek comfortingly.
"Ahhhh tingles…" He shook out his arm.
"Get your funny bone?"
"Right dead center." He winced and flexed his fingers.
But then he watched as she moved back, away from him and leaned forward to tug her heels off of her feet.
"What-What are you doin'?" he asked, breathless.
"Well, apparently…" She tugged the sash of her coat loose and started unbuttoning the buttons. "The front seat is a dangerous place to be doing this. I don't want you losing anymore elbows, so…?" She shrugged, a mischievous look on her gorgeous features, and she braced her foot on the seat, turning around and crawling past him into the backseat. She threw herself onto the long seat in the back and giggled, thrusting her arms out, her coat spilling open invitingly. "You coming?"
"Oh my God."
He practically killed himself scrambling into the backseat, making her laugh uproariously, and she laughed harder when he gathered her up in his arms and dove in to kiss her again.
A/N: Giving y'all health issues with the sugary sweetness, giving Chuck heart issues by making him eat that decadent bleu cheese and caramelized onion smothered steak? I'm just a problem.