Cursed Sword

by Kneenaw

The boy was cursed, and all the evils of the world blessed his rebirth. (From end of Fate/zero on ) Exists in the same world as my other work: Broken Moon.

25. Act Two: Gray Sky

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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.

Act Two: Gray Sky

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Ever-Present Feeling (Music) /3L1DEvzsftw

I killed my whole life, and then as I fell to the ground with my blood gone cold, I was glad.

Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time and down a long river. There I lay drifting, while distant stars wheeled over, and each minute was a life lived and lost. Towards the light, I drifted, but as I was about to reach out to it, a song came to me and on the side of the river, out of the darkness a hand came and reached out. I took the dark hand that sang to me… simply because it was a beautiful voice that called the last trace of me.

I was taken from the river and forced onto the shore of the void, and formless blackness chained me to its touch; I was forced back into a small, tiny man and made to live again. And so I was dragged back, and was not allowed to leave.

"Ahhhh…" My eyes open to shining red orbs that hold me paralysed.

The word echoes with past and future memories, and I am pulled to a single moment in time and given life. "Kiri…" The songstress says that, and lost memories that feel like years ago return to me.

My name…? I am Emiya Kiritsugu… yes, that is my name. And the sight in front of me was a woman I knew. Feelings of warmth and wetness begin to stir in me.

I awakened gradually into a familiar position. ...A warm embrace, and a warm body sharing my space. She was on top of me and there was nothing between us. I felt... reborn, like a newborn baby. I had lost much, but what I regained was enough to go on. Her skin felt so real, but also more like before... colder and harder: metallic yet it made me smile.

"Ahhh..." My breath comes out slowly, but it feels amazing... She is simply having her way with me, I finally realize.

My blood runs again, and I feel it return my life to me.

"Kiri, let me take you..." There are no words past that, but what I see in her eyes is a light that was not there before... She is bright, as the sun reflects her albino skin through the broken ceiling. She is shining in the light, whereas before her skin would swallow light and exude only darkness.

She rides me ravenously as if this was her only way of healing in the first place. Somehow, I feel this was her goal from the start: to push me to my end and then take me like this. ...She was so obsessed with that promise... And perhaps it is the obsession that saves me now.

She got her wish… even as twisted as it is, she can make love to me on the grave of her relatives.

In and out and in and out... the pleasure she brings is desperate, and her hands travel all over me to violate but also heal. Her worship transmits in her every act, as she explores me and her hands cure a broken body.

There is no electrical connection between us anymore, but I feel sparks on my nerves up to my mind as she profanes me. In her eyes is a pure wish not to let me go, and to have me in her arms forever.

"I won't let you go, not ever." But even the passions of sex can not make me who I was, for my injuries are not from one event, but an entire life dedicated to suffering. My wounds ran deeper than my body, and never again would this body commit to magic or battle. I was a car with broken brakes, I can yet drive but it is inevitable now that I will crash eventually.

I used reinforcement and time alter — which broke me from inside, every time I was hit with an arrow, the black mud would keep me whole. But now it is really gone, my magic is even weaker than it was after finding Shirou.

Yet… I feel at peace. It is like being amputated of an infected limb, with the death of my magic, the curse has gone silent. There is no need for it of course, for I already have one woman who could curse me if I needed to hear it, "Ah! Kiri, give it to me now, please! Give me your love" And like a pagan ritual she entreats me to end like she was begging a god for rain.

And again I climax inside of her, leaving us mostly messy and my blood pumping into a now warmer body. Only then do I feel my mind return to my skull, and I remember how to move.

"Ah, 'twas every bit as dramatic as I wanted it to be." She falls off me, and her comfort leaves me.

(Music Stop)

And so it ends.

A douse of clarity takes me, as the blindness of love and the confusion of coming back to the world of life dissipate into the cool air. It's the same room I left, but is there someone missing?

I look around the destruction and see that we are not alone, there are two others.

Two living dolls remain standing and watching us without emotions like voyeurs but... not. They would not even know what it was they watched in the first place, for they had no knowledge of anything. Their eyes are still empty, and I would hope

Beyond them was only the red and grey that remained of this wartorn castle. The red of blood, and the grey that results from the combination of the black mud and debris, and the snow.

Much of the blood that stained the ground was mine, and the bodies that I had slain. There was a trail of death and fire I had left from the forest to here... I can not say how many of these people I murdered.

They were not fighters... and with their normal incredible defence of magic nullified by Irisviel's power, they could only come with the power they held by themselves. In short, I massacred them. I paid no attention to their appearance and shot with an empty mind.

They fell to steel and gunpowder.

...Why? Why did I choose this way? I could have sought diplomacy, I could have presented a different idea to Iri for a more peaceful option... but I didn't. I went along with Iri's suggestion of destruction and death without a second thought, and she would only smile at me for it.

This is what I bring...

The truth was I was happy that no one bothered to even present an alternative to war, so I would have an excuse to kill without restraint. "Why!?" I began to whimper. Why does it turn to ash when arrive?

I sobbed in her bosom, and let go of everything I was. I lost it all down to what I was deep down — a lost child. I turned to her for she was all that remained.

For how much I felt discomfort in love and pleasure_ it is really that I had secretly taken solace in it as if it was shameful to love. Because I loved her more than even a husband loves a wife: I loved her like a child loves a mother. "There, there, my beloved. Let it all out... Let me keep that suffering, let me laugh at it! Hahahaha, for it's just a joke, isn't it? It doesn't have to be your burden to bear all alone." Her finger sifted through my wet hair. "Be free of it, Kiri."

I wept, for I was alive. I had not meant to live. I had meant to leave it all behind like a coward. I would not have stayed with her, and I would not have been a hero to Shirou.

I was just empty words and broken promises. I was a liar at my core, and that was my only skill.

I justified this life with lofty ideals, and dreams and ideas of saving people. But underneath was a man who hated everything as much as himself, and would destroy blindly in his rage.

I see my coat now, the grey coat of my past. And only now is it destroyed, impaled upon a halberd that I entangled at the last second in my coat. But even a cloak inscribed with the protective magic of many casters has met its end, and the man who wore it too… is now gone.

That was... the grey Emiya Kiritsugu: the Magus Killer. He died, and I am allowed to live the rest of his life in his place. I do not need to carry his sins anymore… I have enough to worry about already. So I simply move on from it.

A note falls from a pocket, and with the wind coming through the broken ceiling it carries to my hands perfectly. A note I had forgotten, a number.

I find clothes for the four of us, as I know Irisviel would be happy to have us all stay naked forever if she could have her way. …I can be her husband, but I will not act as her beast.

Finding some clothes, I wore a white tunic, making me feel weird. It was too bright… but maybe it was better than grey. "You look dashing, my love." But I think she would say that in any case. I felt good, strangely enough even as I had nearly died today.

I even found Iri's old skirt, which was white with gold fillings. She was different now, no longer a servant and... more real.

I saw her dress herself, and could not look away. As she wore it: the purple shirt, and the white skirt, with polished boots and black stockings, I felt a great longing grow in my heart. A sense of rightness returned, where wrongness had been a great feeling for her before.

If she is fake... then she is a fake so true that it is indistinguishable to my heart. "How do I look?" She twirled.

"You look... amazing." It was like she had never left at all, and all that business before was just an illusion leading up to this... But what is the dream, the hell that was before, or the heaven that seems to happen now?

Her smile lights up the sun, it is natural in my heart now. It is here that she has found herself, "Good. It is nice to dress up for you, and I am glad I can wear this once more."

Her tone was comfortable, and the general mania was gone. The black eyes that were of darkness had gone away... this was the mother of Ilya I knew. What had occurred, I do not know… but I will not deny that I will take it.

Iri dressed up the two maids out of sight as she became annoyed that I saw them… They were more… metallic underneath. They had clear lines where the different parts met one another. I admit to looking, but I didn't feel anything for them. Nothing more than pity, and guilt.

She came out with them wearing thick conservative maid outfits that left almost only their faces uncovered.

"These two shall be our servants! That is something I like the sound of!" She looked to one of them, and spoke in declaration: "And so you, who keeps the Dress… so you return to life, even after sacrifice? I am the lord of your soul, and you shall heed me, it is by my compassion that I keep you here. I shall name thee… Leysritt, and you shall be the maid in charge of attending to Ilya."

"Ye...ssu." The girl's mouth enunciated difficulty as she learned it by association. She was like a newborn, but I knew that in a week's time she would become almost indistinguishable from an adult woman.

"And you, who shall be the last creation in this house, I name thee Sella, and you shall be the head servant of the Einzbern!"

"Yes, my lady." ...The other spoke fine. That made me feel very embarrassed all of a sudden, I wonder why… But wait… what am I forgetting? Something really important...

...

"...Where is Ilya!?" I was forgetting the two most important people all this time…

"...Shirou kidnapped her away, I don't know why… I just wanted to have some fun with her is all…" So Shirou saved her then… he was there at the very last to stop whatever horrible plan Iri had.

Iri showed me where she knew they would be. It was the same room that Saber was summoned in, and acted as the holy chamber of this house. But no longer did this place have a soul, as that man is now gone.

On a pew, I found a sight that made me freeze.

Ilya was sleeping on Shirou's shoulder and holding his hand... It was strange. It was all strange, that this would happen so fast. My son's eyes turned towards me and lit up for a moment. "You are okay... I'm so glad..." He murmured.

His smile was pure, but why did it make my heart break? It was how he looked.

An eleven-year-old boy? My eleven-year-old boy, who I brought with me without a thought? His lips were cracked, and blood flowed from small cuts across him. I couldn't bear to look at him, with dried blood and soot covering him. I was so ashamed of myself; "what have I done!? Shirou...! Why are you doing it, Shirou… You never had to…!"

I see a boy who was killing himself for what he believed was right. Shirou had never left that fire, he had been burning all along and nobody had the mind to see it! A boy all alone… with nobody good to look up to. He just smiles at me looking far away, "If it makes other people glad, and they can be free and happy... that makes me happy too."

"No..." Who said those words before? A boy just his age, who fell into the hands of a woman who knew not how to be a mother, yet looked after him anyways. She must have looked at him the same way I look at him now, with pity and dread. "Shirou, do not say that. You don't know what you are saying..."

"I'm just trying to be a hero like you… Sorry… I know I am no good… I'm blind, I can't see anything but darkness..." I won't accept it.

The words echo over and over in my head. 'A hero like you... A hero like you...' I can not cut my way out of this thread now. This is my son…

If there is something you can not cut away from, then take it in your hand with a fierce grip and don't let it go… I only see that now.

So I take his, and Ilya's hand in mine, "Then let me be your hero, Shirou. Leave it to me to light the way." I failed to grant him a good path in life, and simply brought him down low with me… but if time remains I can still find a path forward.

His eyes come back from the darkness that holds them, "r-really?" Yes... what he wanted from the beginning was his hero to be there for him, but I was not. I was lost and alone in a forest of doubt, with curses eating me alive. But in this epilogue of life, I am blessed with, I can make things right.

"Yes, we're going to be a happy family now, so that means you're going to listen to me from now on. ...let go of it, Shirou."

"B-but..."

"I am already your master..." I speak as his mentor. "So let me be your father. Share the load..."

And slowly... he did.

"...Alright, old man..." He stopped pushing himself towards the fire, but the scars would remain… scars I was so blind to, and never wanted to admit. It takes more than calming tea and playing games to heal a broken mind.

The pain in his heart dispersed, and by letting out an immense breath, his body slacked and became weightless letting go of the pain he was taking on all by himself, thinking that was what would make everyone happy.

His eyes drooped and immediately fell into the same sleep as the girl next to him and lets me pick him and Ilya both upon my shoulders. They were both heavier than I remembered... but I am a father, and my days of being a child stuck in a man's body are over.

There comes a time to take responsibility.

Irisviel speaks from behind me, "I am satisfied." Her hand holds my shoulder. The evil smile returned to her face, and the purity in her heart lessened as she shared in the burden of evil. "No single person should have to hold all the evils of the world alone. For so long that child took the sins of the father as his own..."

"And now I will not run from them anymore…" And so they didn't hurt as much as they did, for it is in the act of running away from suffering that one is truly damaged.

But of course… I understood Shirou.

Feeling some pain in me now was not so bad. Knowing it was a pain he would have felt instead and knowing that I can alleviate that from him... I understand how he felt thinking he could just remove the sins of others to make them happy. It is the foolishness of a child... for a dream in which you can save others so easily is foolishness.

To save someone means to live your entire life with their hand in yours... but only now, with my children on my shoulder and a wife's hand on mine do I realize that. It is a way of living one's life, rather than an act. No matter what, there are some who can not be saved no matter what...

We leave that place behind once and for all...

Whirlpool of Fate (Music) /3wXmgL-CuY0

But before we left for home, Irisviel stopped me. I was not yet done in this mission to save Ilya. There was still more she wanted me to do.

I find a nice and undamaged bed for the kids, and the maids watch over them. Iri says to trust them, but I am nervous…

She holds my hand and pulls me through the labyrinth of her home. It is warm now, as the artificial environment of winter has gone… and even in the winter as we are, it is warmer than it was. I never liked that, and it made me sad to think about it.

And so I find myself in the most central and hidden chamber of the house, a place that I was never allowed to even know the location of. The workshop of Von Einzbern. It is a place where all of the greatest things of the Von Eizbern are held. Many treasures were there, but most incredible was the pure golden tower that stood and held almost infinite wealth. Yet it was undisturbed and looked to be rarely used.

"What is it...?" This gold...

"The Einzbern were the followers of the first Magician of the First Magic, and all they have ever wanted is to bring that magic back, thus they sought to recreate it to the original. And so they found Das Rheingold of Siegfried, and used it to create the homunculi trying to remake that original. You see, it truly is an infinite wealth, and holds a power that reaches into the reverse side of the world — the age of the gods itself — But… it is cursed gold, hehe. Why do you think no humans remain in the Einzbern, and only failure came to their wishes? If this gold runs free, it will cause only misfortune. In the end, only homunculi remained, and the Einzbern humans diminished… until many centuries later… when their most perfect recreation was made."

I followed along, "Ilya was born…"

"Indeed, the first human was born to Einzbern in centuries. So perfect that there would be no greater thing ever made by the family, and so they began to despair, for if she were to fail then there would be no success ever. And so grandfather placed the gold inside her, thinking and knowing that I would fail." And so the true story of the Von Einzbern was laid bare. "And so we find ourselves here, and I only managed to come back to you like this…" She seemed so vulnerable at that moment.

"But… if the gold is inside of Ilya, what… does that mean?" A very bad feeling took hold of my heart.

"It means that when the Holy Grail starts the ritual, and it begins to insert its energy into her, the body will begin to degenerate. ...You have seen this, Kiri." My stomach fell, and I no longer felt very good.

I felt weak at the knees, "No..." It is still not over. "When... could that happen? There will be no war for a long time, right?"

"The war could happen anywhere from a few years to fifty years. I can no longer say… for I have lost my connection to the grail, I am no different from a simple homunculus now, hehe..."

A few years!? "Then I will destroy it then, the greater grail… I will kill it at the source." I will simply detonate those bombs now. The rest of them are still there, in that cavern hidden under the leylines. I intended to do it in about thirty years so as to leave Shirou safe… but…

But she shook her head sadly, "It would not work, for if it broke then its energy would leak into her all the same. It would still also be the death of me, Husband. And… I can not even let you do that. It may yet be that the Grail could be our salvation, for if it is pure then it could be used to solve many problems."

But I can't allow that… It is still too convenient… How can it be purified now? What is it even that Iri is trying to do?

"What can I do then? All of the knowledge here must have answers. You must know what to do!?" I started to panic, for all I could see in my future was leaving children who were not long for the world.

"No knowledge that remains here can be used to save anyone, for it is this knowledge that leads to this in the first place. Ilya has not had the Einzbern magical crest on her yet, and her training has not been completed; she can only be saved by magic, not of Einzbern."

"But then… what is there?" If the experts themselves do not have any plan of how to save her, then who would?

"You must go to London then. There is knowledge there of magic that may help, you know this..."

"...Iri… you can't be saying... That is not something I can do." I am not a diplomat on my best day… and I will not be welcome out in the open like that.

"Kiri… you must. There is more than just Ilya's future at stake, the magic I used here would not go unnoticed by them, for all of Europe is under their watch. It would be better to go to them before they begin to investigate. Explain away their fears with lies, you are a good liar at heart." The truth stung, but I was good at that one part of communication. "Promise them whatever they want so they won't bother us. I don't care what it is, as long as you return to me. Feed them like a cat, and they will love you just like a cat would. Speak to the Lords, trust me, it will at least be entertaining, hihi..."

That is not enough, they will not simply let me come to them considering who I am. "They will kill me... they will experiment on me... You are being naive. They do not forget what I once was..." The Magus Killer is my past, but to them, I am a horror story.

She put her hand in the gold and took out a single trinket, humble compared to this infinite pool of wealth. "It is the official insignia of the Einzbern, forged at its founding millennia ago. Now it is you who is naive, with this..." She placed it in my hand, "You will not be harmed by them. It is proof you speak for this clan. They will look at you with greedy lips, and your words, no matter how stoic or coarse, will sound to them like sugar and gold." She smiled at the cursed gold. "Give the Lords no reason to keep you alive and they will eat you alive, but feed them a little and they will eat from the palm of your hand. It is a delicate balance, but even to one deserving of a sealing designation, it can be done. Offer them the taste of knowledge and you will be immune to their wrath... for a time. But be there only for a short time and you will be fine."

She held out the gold object to me, but I did not want to take it… even though I know I must. "...I don't like this." It has a bad feeling to it. "I should not take it then..."

"It is exactly because you feel that way, that you will be fine. A curse can only take your heart, but if you can overcome it then you are unassailable. Far worse curses love you than this gold, hehe… Unless… you can't stand to be away from me, can you? You want to stay?"

"I... don't want to go." I was weak now and had grown reliant. I have not been alone in a long time now. "But I know that I must."

"Nor do I, husband. But I must be a responsible mother, there must be some defence in place for us.." She held my head in her hands. Her new body was not like the old perfect spirit one, it had flaws… The convenient deception was no longer alluring to me, "Leave the children to me, let me ready everything for your return home. I can... wait." Her nails drive into her clothes as she thinks about being away from me. "It must be done, and I must trust my Kiritsugu. We must test our true selves. Who are we really when apart? This is the sort of relationship test that all great couples go through."

And that morning came to a close, and the Einzbern castle was left behind. I walked all the way back through the forest towards the Rhine with the children on my shoulders. Yet they were exhausted and did not come to see the broken things I passed. Fallen trees and fractured bodies led me in the right direction.

I did not recall much of what I did last night, as I had let go of myself… I had become her beast and killed mercilessly. I just wish to leave it behind.

After that, we moved back through the forest to a hotel nearby on the Rhine and put the still asleep children to a new bed.

I held little Ilya's face in my hand, and I knew what I had to do. Even if she will hate me for it. "Dd-dy?" She murmured, but she did not look awake.

"Yes, it's me… But I must go now. I'm sorry, but… this time you won't be alone." Tears fell from my eye, but I swallowed them. I would not allow the sorrow and fear to eat me up, I had work to do. "I will… return."

"No… don't leave Papa..." She seems to have a bad dream, but even then I can not stay. It is… for your sake, Ilya. I tuck both Ilya and Shirou in, so at least, maybe they will get along; it is a hopeful thought.

"She is beautiful, is she not? She is our daughter, after all. Don't worry, you can trust me with the little ones while you are away, hehe…" Her laugh was obviously disconcerting, and not at all trustworthy.

"Just… be good." Her hand takes my shoulders with strength. "...Hmm!" I try to talk but my lips are covered.

She took me into an aggressive goodbye kiss, "Hmm, Maybe I'll try to behave… but would you be mad if I burned it all down while you were away?"

"Don't do that."

She still pouted at evilness, even now when she was a little better than before, "Hmph, then I won't. It would be no fun if you weren't there to see it anyway."

I would put my hope in them. All I had was faith, and I had a rare religious thought in my life as I asked God to please give me something for once. But that lasted only a second, for it was not by God's hand that my doom would be decided… God will not help me here. He would not find me here, in this dark mud that I am stuck in… faith only goes as far as giving you a chance, fate will not do great things for you.

"There is one more thing... A place far distant in the countryside of Wales, a teensy quant village. It's a little detour, but think of it as a fun road trip." She grasped my head softly and I felt in my mind a location flash and directions. It made me nauseous, but it was an effective way of giving directions. "Understand, Kiri, when I have a feeling that something is important to do, it is best not to ignore it. I will be watching. Hehe! Now go, and we will be waiting for you." She pushed me out of the room, and I saw the maids standing at attention nearby… perhaps just in case there were any hidden enemies around.

I left and made my way towards London.

With nothing but the Von Einzbern insignia on my hand, and a white cloak on my back, I was gone. The phone number that fell from my coat rested in my hands, and as I arrived alone in a city I swore never to return to, I made the call at a booth. "Meet me at the docks, the same location from before." Perhaps a single bridge is still yet unburnt.

---

I had already been keeping eyes on 'him,' the man that survived that Great Ritual in the Far East. The fact that he, who was the most inexperienced and unqualified participant in that ritual had managed to come out unscathed was not something anyone in the Clock Tower had considered even in their dreams, but if he came back there was nothing to do about it but leave him be.

In contrast, the wildly unexpected death of a Lord — Lord El-Melloi — birthed a new conflict over who would succeed him, could absolutely not be ignored. Assets, talents, lands, and Mystic Codes that were all amassed under the name of El-Melloi that had been passed down since antiquity were all stolen away as if by a flock of ravenous birds.

Not just rivals, even members of the family itself came forth in large numbers to loot the spoils. Branch families of the Archibald lineage came forth taking large chunks of assets under claims that it was theirs to begin with, dividing up huge portions of the family's assets. And as they did so, the other Lords just sat back and gladly watched it all happen. As a result, the only things left over for the main family were the title of El-Melloi, and debt of astronomical proportions.

And yet, what did they think to do?

In the midst of all that, someone carelessly remarked that 'he' who had returned should be given the now abandoned El-Melloi classroom.

Classes in the Clock Tower followed a basic principle of only those who could keep up with classes needed to bother with them.

In magecraft, bloodline and talent decided almost everything. There was really no need to take classes seriously. Much of what lecturers in the Clock Tower did consist of just giving out information as bait, and using that to lure in assistants for them to use.

As such, the others found little value in the forgotten El-Melloi classroom. For 'him,' however, that was not the case.

As a lecturer for third-year students, he quickly made a name for himself as soon as he arrived.

At first, he wasn't even placed into a specific Faculty, so his lectures had a vanishingly small number of attendees. Thanks to this, however, the lessons had practicality to them that was unrivalled elsewhere in the Clock Tower, and the new generations of students with nowhere else to go flocked to him. Winning the approval of other lecturers that had failed in their struggles for power, he was able to take the stage and actualize a multilateral approach to education that had yet to be seen.

Thinking about it now, that had probably been an entirely unintended consequence.

For 'him,' who had neither the blessings of a powerful bloodline nor any inborn talent, the vague and rough style of teaching that was common was probably too difficult for him. Having somehow managed to become a third year lecturer while studying the bare essentials, he had no choice but to rely on others due to his own fundamental lack of ability.

Yes, the picture of his young figure trying to bear the pain of another stomach ache came to mind easily. No doubt deep wrinkles started to form then. They would probably continue to just get deeper as his life went on. It made me want to measure them a little, so I could compare them later.

In any case, under his leadership, the El-Melloi classroom continued to be used for three years.

You could call it a kind of miracle.

Of course, compared to the other assets owned by the family, it wasn't much. However, the oversight of a classroom was linked to the overseeing of lands. For someone like him who had no support or backing of any kind, one would have expected the position to be snapped away from him at the first mistake or sign of weakness. To think that he had managed to survive on his own for three long years made one think the other lecturers in the Clock Tower were being blinded by fairies or something.

Around that time, not so long ago. Having taken an interest in him at a whim, I summoned him.

Well. Let me make a small correction. I said I called for him, but it would be more accurate to say I took him captive. Thanks to a few small quarrels coincidentally ending around the same time, what little authority remained in the El-Melloi faction was concentrated around me. Using that authority, I had him brought before me.

And so, with him grovelling before me, I spoke. "I know of your activities since returning to England. Day and night, I have been watching your actions with a racing heart. You could call me something like a secret fan of yours."

He had probably been preparing himself to die when he was brought before me.

From my position, he was nothing more than another thief that had stolen away the resources that rightfully belonged to the El-Melloi faction. To have insulted the El-Melloi classroom, a renowned name even amongst the Clock Tower's elite, with such vulgar classes as those belonging the Faculty of Modern Magecraft, no matter who you asked they would say his death would be the only suitable reparation.

But.

But he was stunned right from the very beginning. Asking questions like who I even was, he hung his head and apologized, standing stiff like he had been struck by a bolt of lightning. It was such an unexpected response that I had been struck silent as well. But then... "...I have some responsibility in Lord El-Melloi's case."

As rude as it was, hearing those words I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Oh? Why would you say that? What responsibility could you possibly have had?"

Even I thought that it was a mean-spirited question. Just recalling it now is making me smile. I really am hopeless, aren't I?

Remembering the sight of him biting his lip, his shoulders shaking...it honestly makes me regret that I didn't record the whole affair. Of course, with a little effort, I could replay the event in my brain with a little activation of my Magic Circuits, but in this world, there were things that just had to be shared to be enjoyed.

Thinking about it like that, I guess I don't have any friends who would enjoy something like that with me anyways. How unfortunate. "Your elder brother, Lord El-Melloi - my teacher, Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald, was driven to his death because of my recklessness."

"Right, right. If you hadn't fought against him, then maybe my brother and his fiancée would have lived a little bit longer."

It was a huge lie. Just by interjecting when it seemed appropriate, I brushed off his claim.

I see, this man had been a stumbling block to Kayneth right from the beginning of the Fourth Holy Grail War. He stole my brother's precious relic, and then entered the war and stood against him alongside the Servant Rider. '...but, that's all.'

So I thought.

Just from reading the records, I could tell my brother was destined to die. Sure, he was a prodigious magus in his own right, but his specialization was not in combat. In contrast, many of the others gathered for the ritual were beyond the level of being even professional killers. It was like he was trying to divert the flow of a river by throwing a rock into it. Sure, it was a fairly large rock, but it wasn't a job for a rock in the first place. That was my theory, at least.

If he had realized the situation he was in and fled home as fast as possible, then he could have had a long, productive life. But knowing his personality, that option was never on the table. Once he had elected to participate, he wouldn't listen to any warnings from me. His death was really the only possible ending. Well, it may have been rare to happen to a Lord, but it was the kind of tragedy that one expected in the life of a magus.

However, as if groaning, he opened his mouth. "I acknowledge my sin. So please...at least spare my life."

"Oh? Are you saying that if I'm not satisfied that killing you is an option? You know, the Far East where that ritual took place was known for its ritual suicide. Isn't begging for your life like this a little too much?"

"I still have something I have to do."

He said it so plainly and clearly that it left me dumbfounded yet again. What education had he received to become this kind of person? As far as I had been told, he had been a good-for-nothing, self-centred brat who couldn't even see his own immaturity before he had run away from the Clock Tower. Now he seemed like a completely different person.

I cleared my throat with a cough. "Ahem... Well then, since we're here anyway, how about I state my demands."

I decided to strike right at the main issue. As the sound of him swallowing uncomfortably echoed in the room, I spoke with a bright smile.

"Right now, the El-Melloi faction is in a rather difficult place financially. With my selection as the next head of the El-Melloi faction, the Archisorte family has been burdened with that debt. However, dealing with that debt, and the accruing interest, is somewhat difficult for us. If you want to take responsibility for what you did, why don't you start by doing something about that debt?"

Right from the beginning, it was an impossible request. For an ordinary magus, the number of assets the El-Melloi family had lost was just too large. Even if they were to be supported by the Clock Tower as one of the twelve great families. To put it in modern terms, it was a debt large enough Hollywood would have been able to make a movie about it. Clearly a burden unbefitting to someone as youthful as me.

"...Alright. I'll do everything I can."

How soft was this guy? To a magus of any calibre, this was sort of pathetic.

...No, rather than soft, it was probably more like he had already resolved himself. Biting his lip as if he was about to cry, he continued staring at me with a face that was so innocent it made me want to step on it. Pushing down on that impulse, I made my next demand.

"My brother's Magic Crest - the El-Melloi family Source Crest was recovered by the Mage's Association. Unfortunately, what they recovered only amounted to about a tenth of the full Crest. For the Tuner in our employ, it will take at the very least three generations to repair the entire thing. I wonder if you can do something about that as well?"

"...Alright."

Suddenly I became very worried that this man was not right in the head.

Maybe the Fourth Holy Grail War was actually a ritual to fill their heads with worms. No wonder my brother lost. He would never be able to take something like that.

"Then let's get to the most important point. The most important thing for what's left of the El-Melloi faction is to protect the title of Lord, at all costs. As I explained earlier, I am the primary candidate for that position, but I'm a little young, don't you think? I wonder if you'd be willing to keep that seat ready for me until I'm old enough?"

"That's...fine...but what exactly would 'keeping it ready for you' entail?"

"To put it simply, until I'm of an appropriate age, someone else has to take the position of Lord." For the first time, his eyes went wide.

He may have resolved himself to take on something like the first two of my demands, but this last one was definitely far beyond anything he ever imagined. Hearing the groan start from deep in his throat reminded me of the pleasure I felt the first time I tried pulling the legs off a frog.

"Hold on. So what you're saying is-"

"Exactly. Dealing with the other Lords is sure to be mind-numbingly boring, but I'm sure you'll do great, Lord El-Melloi II. How does that name sound? You are now my beloved older brother, after all."

All at once, he collapsed. He barely managed to catch himself before he hit the floor, but it seemed like he was only a hair away from fainting completely.

"Why don't I add a fourth demand while I'm at it? You will also work as my personal tutor. Yes, receiving private tutelage from a brother not connected by blood should send all the right messages." With a laugh, I finished him off.

After this, I also took his magical crest, as collateral so he would not run away.

That was the beginning of our love. All that occurred months ago.

It was fun.

I think it is clear I have a bad personality.

I smile when I see other people suffer. Even more so if they are a straightforward, honest person. When someone who by all rights should have been walking a path overflowing with light is forced to step off the correct path due to some meaningless mistake, it fills me with pleasure.

If this had been some sort of result of my upbringing, or maybe an effect of some childhood trauma, then maybe I could be excused.

Unfortunately, I was just born this way. In that respect, you might have thought it was something I inherited from my parents or my ancestors. In reality, though, there was no one in my family who could sympathize with my feelings. For the most part, a bad personality was the default for a magus anyways. Even the notorious El-Melloi faction in the Clock Tower was little more than a group of unsavoury individuals who banded together under the name of Archibald to trip up everyone else they could.

Reines El-Melloi Archisorte is my name, tomorrow was my ninth birthday and I was quite pleased...

That is until another troublesome man appeared.

---

Confrontation (Music) /0dL6ixvoAxE

Some time passed, and with my inroads, I made an arrangement.

Waver Velvet, my single correspondence, happened to be a more troublesome point than I had thought. He had become Lord El-Melloi II, which took me off guard and leads me straight to the belly of this beast.

On paper, we were blood enemies. But it was my only option, there existed no other I could turn to. When I killed that Lord — Kayneth and shattered his magic crest

It is in that magical crest, the world most advanced metallurgic magic was held... If there was a single place that would have knowledge of how to rebuild a homunculus body somehow and control the metals inside, it would be there… I did not imagine it would bite me as it is now.

Life was like that, waiting to get you with things you had thought you escaped from.

We met out in the warehouse district once again, but this time I made sure he was alone and my precautions were great enough that even in my current lesser state I'd still be able to kill a magus easily enough.

"You come here unannounced, and after you promised you would never return." His eyes were dull and resolved to talk to me even if there was a fear in him. Fear of death, perhaps. "Why?"

"Things change. For the both of us, it seems." The modest and obscure lecturer had become a Lord of the Clock tower in my absence, and I... had changed too. These months can not be readily explained even in my head, I can barely keep to the present so the past is best let go. "I wish to make peace."

And that left him utterly lost and confused, for it was an inscrutable situation for him. "...The magus killer wants to make… peace? Make a deal…" His stress was clear with his growing frown. "You destroyed the magical crest of Kayneth El-Melloi, and his fiancée, who was a daughter of a Lord. That unto itself is almost enough to leave you under a sealing designation by the Clock Tower, and the blood enemy of the El-Melloi."

...When you put it like that, it does sound bad. I was… not in a great headspace at that time. 'They attacked me first' isn't going to cut it with these people, it seems. Oh wait, actually I tried to kill them first… whatever.

"I did not kill that man or the woman." It was Maiya who did that, I didn't do it.

"Don't try to convince me, I know better than anyone left alive about that war. I know what you are." He knew I was a demon then, but… I was not so much that man anymore. "Even if I said we could talk… I can not make peace with you now, no matter what you offer." He was bound to this girl who had taken over the El-Melloi. "I apologise, but I can not help you."

"I do not ask for help, I wish to make a deal. I don't care about you putting your head out for me, and I don't mind you putting me out alone." I take out this gold, and hope that it will work as Iri promised me. "I am representing the Einzbern, and can offer much more than you think."

His eyes bulged out at the symbol in my hand, it was a powerful thing, and invoked me as the representative of the Einzbern just by seeing it. No one would contest me on that with this.

Irisviel promised me she would deal with the rest of the Einzbern in her own way... and I trusted her, for some strange reason. She said she would call them to her somehow and make them bend their knees to her, and that is something I believed. I had a feeling that any Einzbern spies would be on their way to Japan right now, and that I was now alone.

"You... but didn't you... betray them? ...There were some rumours of a powerful source of magic being detected in Germany. I did not… expect this at all." Of course, he was interested. It was now desire itself dragging his heart into my hands, as he wanted to know more than anyone about the sort of things that Einzbern knew.

If his sister would be told, then there was nothing that would stop the desire to at least hear me out then.

My eyes are cold on him, I don't convey anything but my message, "Tell this sister of yours that I will negotiate given a promise to be treated fairly. Tell her that there is nothing to lose from this. Do this... and I can give you information that you want more than anything." I was already drawing payment, I would have to give much if I am to gain here.

A long pause, "I..." He thinks deeply, for it could be his blood to pay as well for this. "...I will tell her, and convince her to take you to a Grand Roll... I will do everything in my power to bring you to that point. But that is all, I can not do more; she will not be happy..." He groaned. "I will be your enemy then, and I won't give you any mercy. I will represent this family against you."

It is a cordial sense of being an enemy, however. It reminds me of… honour, and how foolishly Saber clung to that same sense of respecting one's enemies… Though I must do anything if it is for Ilya's sake. I shake his hand committing to this deal. "Good, I prefer you better as an enemy." I have no use for friends, only associates. My friends end up dead in the end… "If I am to come out of this alive, then my offer will stand…" Otherwise, I would be dead or have to resort to other lines of research that held much less promise.

He nodded his head, "This agreement never happened..."

"I concur." And we went our separate ways. I found my way back to one of my hotel rooms blocked.

I slinked into the shadows again, back to old hotels and new hotels moving from rich to poor neighbourhoods and making no clear pattern.

For a week it was quiet.

Neither enforcer nor news came. I gave him time, and could wait for no longer… So I called him after a week and told him my location, and I prepared both for a last stand and an escape. It was best in some well-off hotel for they would be hesitant to come and destroy it lest the public grew very interested. It is in plain sight that magi are least powerful, after all.

But that was an unfounded fear.

It was a knock at my door, one tempered with some restraint. If it was the wraith of death then, it would not be so calm... I hoped. My revolver sat near my hand pocket nonetheless. At the door was a woman with a smell of death to her. I stare at her, for I did not expect someone so young, about 18 or so.

"..." She approached me. She wore a business suit and wore her professional face. "Greetings, Master Lord." She did not bow, but how she saw me was clearly as a client to someone above.

"..." I frankly found it weird.

She had dark red hair and a tall lithe body, and gave off a cold and empty power. "I have been told to transport you safely. I am an enforcer, do not worry." Her attempt at some tact was almost endearing in how bad it was.

"What is your name?"

"I am... Bazett Fraga McRemitz, my Lord." She had confidence in her... but under that, she was screaming in nerves.

Her empty eyes reminded me of myself a long time ago... It reminded me of Shirou too… She was certainly new, but still not one to fight readily.

"Haha..." I can't help but laugh at who they have sent. They have sent this girl to die, essentially. She is sent in first, being new as she is, as a sacrifice if need be. They care not for simple enforcers, after all.

"Has there been a Sealing designation enforcement placed on me?" That would be very bad, but... perhaps my death would satisfy their curiosity and they would never look further.

She gives me a strange look as if thinking it was some sort of joke. "No, my Lord. I am your escort, to give you protection to the Grand Roll." To a normal person, it would seem like a business encounter... but this was a meeting of two whose business is murder and death.

Yes, they will probably bring up certain bad things and introduce a sealing designation charge against me... but I feel it will not work, for it would have already occurred if they actually wished to do that.

"...That is unneeded." She lacked human expressiveness. "Hah… But I will take it." It was best to do this quickly and without delay. The longer I waste time, the more these people start to look at you less as a person and more as an experiment.

She guided me out and into the streets with a calm and simple-minded purpose of bringing me. "...Forgive me for asking, but where is your car, my Lord?" Of course, a Lord would have a car drive them most of the time… at least to those who were not completely decrepit and decried even automobiles.

"Walking is fine." And so we walked all the way across London, being shadowed by some three enforcers. I will say... It did give me some sense of pride that they would bring four enforcers just to escort me to this meeting. She led me into a more active and eastern part of the city, "To Chinatown, is it?"

The girl was not told who I was, and as I ran through back alleys and snuck from the other three enforcers only she followed without even questioning me. She was a very impressive enforcer for her age, but she was also right by my side and I helped her follow the shadowy streets.

"Here it is, my Lord. ...I had not thought a magi would move across the city as you did." She doesn't even need to catch her breath as I do from that run.

I really am out of energy… and old. Everything aches and I regret pushing myself for no reason.

"...Hmm, I would assume a Lord would not." She followed me even at the expense of losing her backup. ...I think because she had a fiercely competitive spirit. 'Heh…' She is a funny lass. She followed me like, hmm… Maiya would have followed me like that. An empty follower, who had nothing to themselves except their skills… and held precious little in their hearts.

An innocuous building in Chinatown. A mysterious door downstairs to an elevator. It goes down for a full minute to its only destination. Once I am down into the large dark room, a single door awaits that gives me the impression to wait before entering.

I left my gun behind, and there is only this one thing I have just in case... but that is a one-way trip.

I have a wish, and living is part of that.

I can not die so easily, but if it comes to that then I will at least take some with me.

The girl looks a little lost and almost looks to me for directions for she will not find help from her fellows who we left behind. She ends up waiting next to me not truly knowing what to do. There I wait at a door for a long while, they make me wait outside.

Why did I begin to talk to her? I know not, I am not that sort, but... perhaps I am nervous, "You are an enforcer, I see. Your first day?"

"...How could you tell? Sorry, I am still getting used to it." Her eyes go wide, and embarrassed.

"Haha. They send the young ones first. In their first abnormal case, it is the rookie that they use as a shield to see how well they can handle pressure." I have seen it in person many times, as they turned on their own enforcers simply out of jealousy and envy. "You are quite young for an enforcer… shame." I was younger when I started though… much younger.

"...What's abnormal Lord? I am familiar with magic customs... This is only accompanying a high-level magus to the grand roll." Her Irish accent comes through despite her efforts to maintain a more English business accent. "Forgive me, Lord... if I have done something wrong." She must think I am some Lord, being transferred safely to this meeting... or perhaps it is a clever act to look smaller, and more green than she really was. But I have an eye for this sort of thing, and I knew she was nervous.

"Haha, No... I am no Lord." They put her there, so if I were to turn on them, I would kill her first as if they had no use for her either. Did she realize that? Maybe, but she likely has nowhere else to turn. An enforcer is considered lower than a student.

"Then…?" And her question is answered by the opening of the heavy door. No one opens it, and it opens by some sort of magic.

"You may enter, Emiya Kiritsugu." A voice calls me in.

It is at that moment the woman hears my name and freezes. Does she recognize my name? Perhaps it is only at that moment she knew who I was, and she looked at me with some sort of shock.

I whisper to her circumstance, but also to myself. "Do not forget you are more skilled than these people a thousandfold. Watch your back, girl, and you will be fine." I walk into the room and witness the place where my doom will be decided. I doubt I would see her again, and I would prefer not to.

I walk into the room that is not unlike most conference rooms, with a circular table bisecting it. If not for the great magical circle as bright as the centre of London it would be a normal room. The truth is I am not the subject of this meeting, despite being the point of the topic. Clock Tower politics are always the main object, and whatever appears is secondary.

'I'm far out of my element here...' It would be nice if I could just place a bomb and end this whole place... but that wasn't possible, and wouldn't lead to a very good future. These people are the worst Magi there are. The only way to reach the point in which you can tell other Magi what to do is to be a level of horror greater than everyone else.

Dark figures sit in their places, or stand… I can't entirely make them out. They must enjoy that.

They are monsters hiding in the skin of a human, but they aren't impossible to make a deal with. 'I've already made a deal with the devil...' There's not much lower to go from there.

Natalie made the deal back then to get a part of my magic crest back... but so much has occurred since then that I could be executed on any one of them. I must pull off a much more troublesome arrangement.

"Hah..." Taking a deep breath, I ready myself for a battle that will be harder than any normal fight. A battle of the mind, I will have to revive my mind of steel... but I will think of home, of Ilya, Shirou and... Iri. I will do it for them, to my own detriment.

I calm myself so that I won't try to kill. I have a small bomb in the back of my mouth, it would blow me up if things went too sour. Untraceable to these magi, who decry science as something bad. Will I just die? 'Would Iri send me here, if that was the case?' She would enjoy seeing me squirm, but I can't believe she would put me here if I was seriously going to die.

I want to believe.

Not everyone was here, about eight Lords sat there. Not all twelve are here, and I can count some luck to that; the less, the better in my view. I would have to turn their own hatred of one another against themselves preferably. Though I have a feeling that the less I say the better...

Nine Lords sat to judge me, and my plea and my effort in diplomacy. Eight plus one who was sitting on the same level as me, and I could see.

It would be nice if I could just place a bomb and end this whole place... but that wasn't possible, and wouldn't lead to a very good future. These people are the worst Magi there are. The only way to reach the point in which you can tell other Magi what to do is to be a level of monstrosity greater than everyone else.

I sat down in the small seat, but I didn't much like it so I stood up.

There were three of us in the middle: Waver and some little girl next to him, and then me off to the side.

The girl who seemed no older than nine years old: she had bright blonde hair, fair pale white skin, and clothes and grace that were similarly picturesque. Her most impressive feature was definitely her eyes; blazing like fire, overflowing with strength and determination. She was just a porcelain doll, just how magi like it. If they could kill their human selves entirely and become pure homunculi, they would.

They all wore overly extravagant clothes that made me angry, these rich people in their ivory towers... There are few things I dislike more, but it is the way of the world that I must deal with it. My humble cloak, and clothes I brought from the mansion seemed poor here. I was like a bum to them, but I didn't mind, that's accurate.

'Why not burn the way of the world…?' I ignored whatever whisper I heard and moved on in my mind, so I could calm myself and make this work

There are no allies here, just magi looking out for themselves. My hope is that as there is always disagreement among them, that they will not agree against me.

An effortlessly cold and authoritative female voice spoke and any whispering or side talk dispersed, "Allow this Grand Roll commence, and may it be expeditious." She was quick to anger it seems and was the sort who had better things to do like a CEO being called to some meeting by her allies.

She read from an old parchment, "The El-Melloi clan has called on you, Kiritsugu of the Emiya clan, to forthwith to submit to the judgment of this council for the destruction of their source crest." That wasn't what I asked, but it mattered not. It seemed to be that girl... I can see her hatred for me, she must mean to seal me and take whatever I have as some sort of payment. "Lord El-Melloi II, may you step forward with your accusation."

"The El-Melloi, with the support of the Sophia-Ri, accuse Emiya Kiritsugu of unique magic, which he used to destroy the magical crest of the El-Melloi family, and murdered its Lord. We ask that all objects, wealth and knowledge would be seized and sorted to the correct departments in recompense and is custom for a sealing designation. Therefore, I motion to call for the sealing designation of this man.

"And what say to you, Archisorte?"

The girl is called on to speak further as some sort of victim, "Ahem. The man is a killer and holds no respect for magic customs or law; he thinks he can come here and entreat with us, but I say that we finally put him away. Make use for him as nothing more than an object of study."

Though hearing her speak far above her years did not surprise me, for this was typical among magi. The girls grow up much faster than the boys and tend to not die so young, yet they can be vile with that. She has a gentle voice, but under it was a distinct lack of sympathy.

Everyone looked at the leading woman expectantly for some response, and it came measured and with a perfect meter. "...Motion denied. There will be no vote on this matter." It sent relief through my body, even if all it meant was that I would have to do this the hard way. The easy way out actually was to blow myself up. I was impartial to either.

An old man jumps into the conversation when the blonde girl has no recourse but to sit down annoyed, "I must protest, this man is responsible for multiple cases of lost knowledge. Do you not remember the past? This is the magus killer, and a transgressor of the worst degree." A rare and dramatic temper heated up in the room.

The older man has some spirit in this...

He is Rufleus Nuada-Re Eulyphis, the father of Sola-Ui Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri. That was the woman who laid dead once underneath my feet…

It was Maiya who killed her, in my designed lure of a contract. 'Sorry, I killed your daughter...' I'd say that if I meant it. But it is my lack of feeling about that fact that makes me feel bad about all this. I simply feel hollow about these people and lack a single care for their lives.

This just irritates the woman at the head of this council, "Speak no more of this, the topic has been tabled. The Emiya clan has been sealed previously, and there is little more than hearsay that there is some strange power to this man. All I see is an old and weak thing. What say you, Emiya Kiritsugu? Do you have such power? Or may we move to worthy topics?" She is almighty, and even I can not look at her directly for too long in the dark. Her power is that of the vice director herself, and the de-facto leader of the clock tower; she could care less about me, and whatever apparent Eastern power I may have.

'Weak and old', that is how I appear to these people whose age is far higher than mine, but I am still not even 35 years old.

It is Barthomeloi Lorelei herself speaking. It is now that my weakness works to my advantage, for in her eyes I appear as one of the weakest magi she has ever seen, nothing less than an ant to her. My circuits would appear almost completely inert to them now. It is pride, I realize... that keeps me alive. Just as Iri said, these Lords... are nothing if not sinful: lust for knowledge, greed to have it all to themselves, envy for one another, and pride in their bloodlines.

I realize that she expects me to speak, "...I did not kill those two I am accused to have. And it was not by my hand that the crest of the El-Melloi was broken; there is no magic in me that has the ability to destroy a circuit like that." True in the wording, but untrue in spirit. The wise among them would see through it, but it is a matter of ignoring what is inconvenient to them. One sort of diplomacy I can do, and that is the art of lying and loopholes.

"Your voice rings true, if hollow. But I do not care what transpired, for it is not thou that I notice in the least. Indeed, El-Melloi is of blood once respected, but has now fallen into indelicacy." Her voice was a perfectly enunciated magic of its own, weaving the air like a piece of tranquil music. "There is a claim taht you represent the Von Einzbern family, what is it that you wish to convey?"

This is the moment I must trust Irisviel, for she gave me a note on what I can offer. I memorised the note and destroyed it, "The Von Einzbern clan... wishes now to be represented in the Clock Tower. It is willing to share its knowledge, and wishes to make agreements to those who would take them."

A hush took the room, and what truly interested the Lords began. Desire began to take hold in their hearts, even with how untrustworthy I am, the reward was that great...

It is the fact I come here as an Einzbern rather than an Emiya that saves me, and their ignorance and disinterest of the east in general. If they were all like Waver Velvet, then they would have sealed me up without a thought. Only the El-Melloi and Eulyphus cared about the whole Kayneth difficulty truly, and Barthomeloi would let them have my head if not for my real reason to be here being what intrigues her.

At every point in the process, it is their own sins that will save me.

A new Lord speaks up, another woman whose voice is more calming than the almighty one before, "The Von Einzbern has been a part of the association since its founding, but it has been countless years since they have come to these halls directly. What has changed now?" She is aged more than Barthomeloi. It is Inorai Valualeta Atroholm, perhaps. I had done my research to the extent that I would not say anything too wrong and recognised the important figures.

"The time of isolation has come to an end, and the Einzbern wish to gift those would ally to them." Irisviel... you are evil for making say this. It physically pains me to say, and I think that she told me to say precisely so I would cringe.

I knew the Einzbern were old, but I also caught in some of their voices the understanding that the Einzbern represent a family on the same level as them. It was a great family but was also separate and isolated. Now there was a little concern in some of them.

Barthomeloi scoffed, "Do you have proof you can speak for the Von Einzbern? If you do not then I can see you only as a deceiver, and I will reconsider tabled realms of topic." The threat was understood.

"I have proof," I thrust the insignia above my head to show them. It is a piece of pure gold, which exuded a mystic aura that turned even the Lords to lick their lips in some sort of desire. It the cursed gold of Siegfried, that which Iri showed me to be in the very centre of the Castle.

For them, who are still human underneath, looking upon even a piece of it seems to be like seeing the thing they most desire. Its magic is not in its ability to tempt them, but to be so beautiful that those with corrupt hearts can't help but want it.

At that moment, I believe even the perfect Barthomeloi paused. She acknowledged it, and she would know its meaning better than I. "I recognise your proof as sufficient." Her voice is still. All eyes fixed on it, and if they were closer then surely their hands would start to reach out like kids for candy.

Only Waver seemed unaffected, and then Barthomeloi, by sheer will, breaks out of her gaze at it. And the rest only return to normal as I put it away. ...Why I can hold it now and feel little desire is because I no longer hold any wish that infinite wealth would bring. The same would go for Waver then, as to have a wish for something beyond reality.

A large muscular man spoke up next, "The Von Einzbern joining the Clock Tower..." It troubled him. "The Von Einzbern have fiercely assumed their independence these last thousand years. It would be unbefitting to allow such a clan to simply take a place here now. There is no more room for Lords, or great families."

His was a good position, for I totally agreed. The last thing I wanted was power. "We do not wish to take any position as Lord or department head; we only seek to make an alliance with those who would." It left it unsure whether something horrible had happened to the Einzbern, or perhaps not. This was Irisviel's plan to enter on the offence before defence would be necessary.

"Hahaha... Alliance? The Magus Killer wishes to make a deal?" Another man laughed but was promptly hushed by Barthomeloi.

"Silence!" She did not yell, but her voice cut off the man instantly. "This offer of negotiation requires time to deliberate, as this is news to this chamber." Her glare turned to El-Melloi, who would certainly gain her ire for not giving her more detail past that possibly I was speaking for the Von Einzbern. If there is one thing that you should not do as a magus, it is to gain the ire of the queen of the Clock Tower.

Others spoke up until everyone was disagreeing amongst themselves.

The girl, Reines, looked at me with a mischievous smile. Waver was arguing on her behalf with many other Lords at once, he was a skilled diplomat. I didn't really listen, and they mostly ignored me.

Barthomeloi sat silent and perfect. I saw where the woman was, but it was mostly just a shadowy image of her. She seemed far away, but by what I saw I knew it was the same Lorelei that I once saw on the battlefield.

She was a power to be reckoned with, and if I was known as the Magus killer, then she would be known as the Vampire killer. She stared at me, as if in the judgement of my lesser status to her somehow. I got in her way one time and killed a vampire that she was hunting. That was one of the times the enforcers really went after me, but I made it out. A woman feared by even the 27 Apostle Ancestors... perhaps the strongest magus of this age.

Though I had made dealings with her in the past, as she hated apostates who dealt in vampiric magecraft more than anyone, and paid me well.

...She was the one who made decisions when consensus fails.

The hours-long debate about past politics and what must be done continued to drag on. I tended not to listen for my own sanity and drank my water and rubbed my temples. This is how they live their entire lives, arguing about such and such and caring only for their own power.

They take their time asking me questions, "What sort of knowledge? What sort of gifts?" But I keep it vague, as to not give any concrete promise at all. Some call me a deceiver and Magus Killer, while others look at me with some level of interest and hidden desire. Iri was right about them, all but Waver and Bartomeloi seemingly let themselves fall into this trap of want.

The best-case scenario is that they will just forget about all this long enough to let me think up a better idea than gifts. Maybe they'll argue until they're too tired and let me go. I have already done my first job, they don't even remember that there were strange magical readings sensed at the Einzbern castle, or rumours of destruction in Germany. They would remember and were not stupid, but put a gift in front of a magus and they will eat each other trying to get it.

It's all tedious, and that is good… It means I am in control to some degree.

Then a peculiar question comes.

A very small shadow reaches out. And I can recognise her only as a very little girl, smaller even than the other one. She is the youngest here... I can not gauge her age but it is about maybe six.

The girl addresses me. "I am Olga-Marie Animusphere, in place of my father, he told me... to say that... I have to ask: do you know about wish making?" This girl was nearly shaking with nerves talking to me but was pushing herself regardless. The girl is young, very young, yet she comes from her position bravely and speaks to me. Above all others, her desire was the most potent... but to the point of poisoning her. What could make a girl so young want something so badly?

It made me sick, and even the other lords seemed to pity her. I would not lie about something simple, "...Yes, the power of a wish is something that the Einzbern have knowledge of." I could give them crumbs, and that would seem like a feast to them.

"Could you... make anything come true with that?" Her emotion was clear, such a young girl wanted something. "The Animusphere w-would like to learn about that... I must know. We could... make a deal."

To be entirely honest, it did not feel like a little girl. It is like she is under possession, and not speaking her own words.

I don't know what to say to this girl. "..." The other Lords had their own conversations, but surely they paid attention to every word.

The girl is shut down mercifully, "There can be no deals unless sanctioned first by the entire council first, Animusphere." And so the argument breaks out again, until they finally calmed down to finish.

Barthomeloi finally came out of her silence and put an end to it. "A vote will be held then on the question of allowing the Von Einzbern Official representation in the Clock Tower, and to sanction outside agreements." And so it began promptly. "The Barthomeloi abstain to vote."

Barthomeloi likely saw through this entire farce and wished me to be gone from her sight. She had the bloodthirst in her, just like I did. She was peerless, and no deceit would work on her, but I respected that. She knew something the others did not. Why she neither voted for or against, I do not know.

"Meluastea votes yea." They cared only for knowledge, and if I offered that, they would welcome it no matter how dubious.

"Trambellio votes yea." He was the leader of the democratic faction, and it is obvious they would perhaps seek to gain the favour of the Von Einzbern or even worse try to convince them to take some position.

"Sophia-Ri votes nay." I killed his daughter...

"Gaiuslink votes nay."

"Archelot votes nay." Both of those were of the aristocracratic faction, and they seemed to guess that what Barthomeloi wished was simply for me to be gone. So they voted politically.

"Valualeta votes yea" Hmm... She was a mystery to me, but her elaborate dress and look of being a magus without comparison lead me to think she has her own machinations.

The last two were of the aristocratic faction and would likely go along with Barthomeloi. It just so happened the last two were the little girls and the young lecturer.

The fact that they were Lords attested to the aristocratic nature of this place, not that I care: I like the lack of meritocracy, it makes them less efficient.

Soon the vote would be done, and no matter the result, I would have to escape without being eaten. If they do choose to follow, then all I would have accomplished is to draw out their attack now rahter than later.

The vote was my loss, I assumed...

But my zoned out ears heard something that chilled me, "...Animusphere votes yea." if she was just a puppet of another, the girl declared that after a minute of waiting.

I had a very bad premonition now. Like being enclosed in.

And then the second voice, "El-Melloi votes yea." ...That surprised me, but also… meant that it was what I had come here for. Why they would make such a

El-Melloi could have made it a draw, and then Barthmeloi would have simply kicked me off to the curb.

But it seems that by the evil glint in the eye of that girl next to Waver, I am now finding myself in the web of politics.

Barthomeloi fulfilled her duty as the head of the chamber even as she lost the vote, "The result is 5-3 in favour of sanctioning individual negotiations and representation of the Von Einzbern under the authority of Emiya Kiritsugu. Barthomeloi thus calls an end to this Grand Roll!"

It ended abruptly.

The Lords dispersed into the air as the magic dissipated. They were not actually 'in' the room, more like their appearance was and nothing more. It was some sort of holographic magic that only the Lords would have.

No wonder it's so dark in here.

They must have not realized that this meeting would have turned out the way it had... It seems that when the El-Melloi called for this Grand Roll, they understated certain facts, and gave the impression of the Magus Killer, and less so the man who held the power of the Von Einzbern in his hands. It was just intriguing enough to attract 9 Lords, but not enough to bring them to the same room as the Magus Killer. Lucky them too, for if things went wrong I would have simply blown myself up.

Now I could get out of here, and escape them all...

...All but the most troublesome yet important one, that is. Three people now remained in the excessively dark chamber.

Now I could hear the laughter of Irisviel in my head, cursing me but also embracing my fate.

The weakest Lord was the only one who had figured me out from the start. Their attempt at killing me, or atleast taking everything from me failed… so now they were going to try out a deal that would surely be as close to that as possible.

They were the only ones physically in the room from the start, and blocked my exit, "The El-Melloi family would accept if the terms are right, payment and recuperation from the Einzbern family for an agreement of reconciliation." The girl continued to smile at me. "Let us list my terms... Unless you wish to wait to hear from another Lord first, that is?"

Waiting was not an option, I had to be out of here right now. They are all children in the end, and perhaps I pitied them despite their ill natures. So I went with them, instead of simply killing them.

More gruelling hours of negotiation continued: it was certainly unpleasant, but I was alive, and not a living experiment. The contract was unimportant in my eyes, for I promised much and asked little. I hoped I could keep to it and repair what was broken, but I knew deep in my heart that it was not me who it would eventually fall to...

---

This Illusion (Piano(Music)) /tcnmWGyOOPA

There was a place I had to go, according to Irisviel. Everything she said was when she sent me here... made me uncertain, and I knew I was different from normal people now. These magi all felt like children to me. This was Irisviel's second ask of me, and I may as well resolve it all at once.

I told the boy to meet me here, so we could speak without listening ears. To the west of London, and far into the countryside... to a place that I did not like. I put everything in a nice rental car, and drove us out there.

There were only a few words spoken the entire drive, "You're not driving me out to kill me, are you?"

"Only if you don't stay quiet." That was about the end of the conversation.

It was a place far into the countryside of Wales, a village lost in time and marked. Small and antiquated to the point that it wasn't so different from the one you would think of in the dark ages. I had seen many places like this, but never in a place like Britain.

A sign awaited us: Blackmore Cemetery.

A teensy village, small enough that even a name was unbefitting.

I drove right up the gate out of the village, and stopped… for my mind was screaming at me. ...It was not right. An ill wind came to my heart, and I knew blood had been spilled this night.

Red covered the ground, and the houses were in different states of recent ruin. ...A battle had taken place here, and recent enough for the smell of iron to be in the air. Yet no bodies were on the ground. ...As if they had gotten up from where they had been slain, and walked off...

Disgusting... this was disgusting...

This was a horrible place, built on the blood of the inhuman. Why Irisviel sent me here with a wicked smile was clear, how she knew about it is not. It is not surprising, if one thinks about it. She seems to know exactly what to say to bring the greatest sorrow to someone...

"That is..." The boy spoke before me, surprised. His eyes beheld her before I, a single living person out here in a field of death. Just outside the entrance to the small town... was a girl all alone under the gate, sitting in the grass holding some sort of toys in her hand.

When I saw the girl, my fists tightened.

She was so young... "Hah..." A regal face, that was not her own. It was once that I saw it that I realized why I was told to come here. There was someone to save right in front of me…

I ran to her without much thought.

Her gray eyes looked up to me empty and alone. ...Children dirty from war is something I have seen perhaps more than any, but the boy is still unaccustomed to it. He can't handle this scene and instinctually begins smoking, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"It was dark... but then the moon turned red." She shakes.

"... I see."

Her eyes are glossy.

Waver speaks up behind me, "She needs something to drink." Of course... needs and wants. "Are you cold?" And he intrudes on my trunk and takes out a blanket for her. I feel her head and she is desperately cold, likely not having warmth since last night.

It was the dead of winter in Wales, not someplace to be all alone outside… I put her in the car and turn the heat up. I take us up to the top of a nearby hill, and away from the ill-fated town.

I drive us up to a nearby hill to look down at the village from afar with binoculars. "Do you see anything?"

"...Nothing good..." I let him live his life without having to see this sight. Blood and bones and sunken corpses. I feel two distant presences. I briefly seem to see a dark almost blueish blur, but it may be nothing more than an illusion of the growing shadow. "Yes. A battle took place... or is taking place." This is not good.

I know in my heart what this is... but I really don't want to have to admit it.

The girl stirred after a few minutes.

"I think she can speak now," the girl had warmed up and been rehydrated. "Can you tell us what happened?" He spoke to her with a somewhat warm voice, the best he could manage is better than mine.

She had a very small and gentle voice, "...Everyone was scared, there were a lot of bad things... Everyone... they protected me, but it was all wrong. The bad people kept coming... Mommy and the villagers hid me, they said that I must be kept safe... and..." I figured I knew the answer.

"You will be okay now, girl... Do not fear." She kept going without hearing me.

"It was quiet for a long time, but then they were moaning... they were all moaning and walking around... But they ran to the catacombs. They all went down to take the bad people with them, and I was left all alone..." She promptly dropped unconscious, into sleep. I could not look at her face though. The face was something that was toxic. It held an unnaturalness I couldn't stand.

In her hands were two things, a very odd square thing, and in the other what can only be seen as a thin battery-like device. They looked inert to me, but at a glance, I remembered something from a long time ago. A rumour of a weapon that could defeat even a servant... an anti-spirit bomb that was made only in one place... But I was never able to figure where that was, and I never thought I needed it to win the Holy Grail.

Everything about this girl was wrong. Everything about the village was wrong.

I swallow my blood. Is this what you wanted me to see, you demon? I can not enter battle anymore, yet you bring me here? I can not be the Magus Killer.

Thump Thump...

I sense evil, something that I have become accustomed to but it is a different sort of evil. If Irisviel has a taste of almost a comforting and corrupting evil to her, something that is familiar to all humans and we always carry... then what I sense is the opposite.

"Vampire..." It is the hate for humanity, and inhuman in nature. My least favorite thing that exists in this world, and the reason why I can get along with the Church and Association when need be. A dead apostle ancestor at that, I am sure of it. That could mean the church too is close, and maybe even Barthomeloi too. "We must leave now!" No matter what, leaving is the only option. This place will burn no after what, and I know we are here at the final moment of sanity before a storm.

He hadn't realized it yet, as he was not as experienced as I am "What...?" I began immediately to throw everything in the car. "We must investigate, and..."

But I essentially pushed him into the car and started the ignition. "Get in now." I took the girl and the boy into the back of the old car and drove fast into forgotten roads leading east into the hills.

I drive off the roads, and without light in the night. "Why, why are you doing this? You're making me... Ughm, I'm sick..." Bumping up and down in the uneven farmland, I am just trying to make it to a highway to the east.

"Suck it up, and keep your eyes open." The complete rural nature of this place made it impossible to hide, only drive unpredictable. I drove in the direction I believed the Church would least likely come from. "The executors are near."

That got him to be quiet. "What... are they going to come after us?"

"If someone notices then yes, they will come after us with everything they have. So it's best we don't get noticed, I figure we were an hour ahead of them."

How the situation ended up that we would be there before there was even evidence of what happened is unexplained… Unexplained to those who do not know my wife, that is.

And so I came to park in some lost and forgotten pasture with the lights off and the heat turned down in the winter of Britain. Even as the girl laid unconscious the boy tried to warm her, "Do you mean to kill us now?" It was freezing, and that single blanket was all that there was. I was used to it. But he would likely use some magic, I could not allow that.

"No magic… Quiet, and head down," I grumble. We sat there for some time.

Legend (Music) /3wXmgL-CuY0

After an hour, he grew cranky...

Back in my day, I would do this for an entire day if it meant I could avoid dealing with a magus or the Church. Hiding in the dark was really an effective strategy at the end of the day. Magi are a bit more fragile and prideful to do something like this. But the fact that he went along with it at all shows he is a bit different.

"I will die if I just sit here… We may as well speak now." He said expectantly.

"Hmm, I made lots of promises this last week, haven't I? But maybe, for, once, I will keep it. Let us talk." There was a smell of smoke in the wind, and a red sky rose in the far distance. The village was on fire now. But the Girl was safe with us, that was what mattered… the rest were unsavable.

"The Lords fear you. They have put pressure on El-Melloi to pursue no deal with you, but secretly they are trying to find you and make a deal for themselves. They fear that others will receive knowledge that they will not."

"They will forget with time; the Lords always move on to a new fad. Give it time..."

"That is true, but these sort of things compound, and now both the democratic and aristocratic factions are using it in their debates. The El-Melloi are isolated, and have no power base." The were lords without a department, I knew that.

"One thing I do not understand, why risk alienating Barthomeloi, when she is your only hold still to the position of Lord? Why take a chance with me?"

"My position of Lord... is tenuous, yes. It is tied only to that past, and it can be lost. But... I was doing what was best for El-Melloi, and something I know Barthmeloi will respect. If it works and you give what you promise, then we will regain our power faster than anyone would imagine… and if it fails we fall into complete disgrace." He was not happy with it. He had been less enthusiastic about the idea of it than the girl, for he was a more measured man. "I think she simply wished to see what we could do on our own."

"Barethmeloi would respect you for being disloyal?"

"She will not respect us in this state no matter what. But if I were to establish the El-Melloi quickly and decisively once more… then perhaps some long forgotten respect could be regained."

"I see…" He was walking a tenuous rope.

And he asked his most burning question, "What I do not understand is why? Why does the legendary Magus Killer arrive like this, and come to make peace with the weakest Lord without clear gain? Why enter into the light like this?" He proclaimed. "It does nothing to helpy you."

It is not for me that I do it… And that is why they would never understand.

"...Some things are more important than your own life. If I can do something difficult like this for a future that… the Einzbern family is safe, then I will do it now. And so what of you, why do you make a contract with me, knowing who I am?" We were enemies and he has seen me at my worst.

"If it was my choice then I would not have. But… I am the representative for a family that needs a victory desperately, and has a young leader who desires to see you pay for what you have done. She is young… and… difficult. She believes anyone can be controlled, and that she can trick you with the deal and take everything." She being Reines who thought to know more than him and was the one who wrote much of the contract and pushed to accept it.

"Hehe, I figured that. And it must be a problem you wish to fix in her if you would inform me."

He shook his head, "Yes... I am her tutor. They think they understand you, but they have no clue what you are. How... evil you truly are. Hah… I am not a very good magus, but they are not very good humans. Some students would starve if you don't tell them to remember to eat."

I let them write most of the contract, which is nothing less of a framework to make me give them back everything that they lost and more. I didn't really care, all that I wanted was to repair the crest I broke. If there was anything that held the knowledge of metal more than even Einzbern then it was in there.

I wrote only a single line, which the girl would not comprehend. For in a single small clause in the contract, it states that if: `Emiya Kiritsugu were to die before completion, then the contract will be put on hold until willingly taken by another with the same authority.'

"..." But he saw through it. He looked at me with sullen eyes, "I see now…"

"There is no point dwelling on it is there? I will do everything in my power to help you with what I have, it is that simple."

"..." He nods, accepting this deal with what he must see as the devil. But I knew that the real devil was waiting for me at home. "There is one other thing you said you would tell me about... the Holy Grail."

"Oh, yes... The corruption has been dealt with."

"You… destroyed it? How do I know you were not lying then, that you really did intend to burn the world that day?" ...It was not my wish that brought darkness to the world.

"I don't care what you think. The Grail remains, but do not hope that there will be a war. ...Though… I would help you find some other way to complete this desire of yours." If only to keep him away.

"I…" And the boy did not know what to say. For as much as he regretted and hated the Holy Grail War, he also thought of it as his only chance. "Maybe I will take you up on that when we next meet. I still have much I must do, I have suddenly become the busiest man in the Clock Tower." And I believed that.

There was no more to speak of. I would try to fix that crest of theirs… and that was all I cared about, they would likely not receive the gifts they expected but… that is their fault for making a contract with someone like me.

In the dark of the night, I began to drive once more once I was satisfied. I drove until reaching the highway and back to London. Leaving the burning village behind for others, younger than I, to deal with… I had saved one life, and that was more than enough.

'Iri… Thank you.' Her laugh could be heard in the wind. Whatever whim she had to show me the path, I would appreciate it. A life is a life.

It was outside the house where he resides that I stopped. I had already packed everything up to leave, and all that remained was the fate of the little girl who I did not want to look at. She roused from her unconsciousness, and was clearly disturbed and discombobulated with what had happened to her. She had no scars, but underneath… she would never forget what she had seen happen in her village.

It is the same as Shirou, and me… and all of those who witness the burning fires of hell in their youth.

She stood up, and I saw her clearly shining as took in the sun of the new day. The light shined down on her face, and left a Majesty I saw only once before. "Ahhh...?" It was her, King Arthur herself... her face at least. 'Saber.' I hadn't thought that I would see this once again.

The more I stared, the more the girl became reclusive.

She hated her face. If one was to be confused for another their entire life, they would come to hate that part of them. Why she had that face, I did not know... but I had suspicions. I have seen such towns before, who fall to evil in their great wish for something. Some people wish to bring a great spirit of the past back into the world, and those people will do whatever horrible act in the name of that.

They attract and entreat darkness, and the natural conclusion is the one that we have witnessed. Something as horrible as turning to the magic of Vampires for power… It is what father did, and what many who despair do when other options run out.

I kneel down to her, "What is your name?"

"Gray." A sad name — It is of silver storms and melancholy skies.

"Do you have anywhere to go? Family, or… anything?"

"No, not anymore… I've never left the village before... Where are we? It's so big..."

"This is London." The boy answered her for me, as I began to think.

"London…? I've only heard stories of London before." She had no discernable accent towards Welsh or English, more French maybe. It felt old, and it tickled the hearts of those who heard it.

The boy and I made meaningful eye contact, and we both understood at a glance that this was an abnormal girl, and something had to be done about it. I debated bringing her home with me. But I am unsure of it, it seems wrong to bring her to Iri like that. It would not go well, and I don't know why she told me to do this. And that is ignoring how I am supposed to take a little girl across the world without documentation to a place she does not know the language of. I could still make forgeries like I did with Maiya and somewhat with Shirou.

"Perhaps-"

The boy intervened before I had to decide, "I will take her in. With my position, I have the means to keep her."

It was a natural choice, but I had uncertainties about it, even if among all magi, maybe Waver Velvet was the least bad. "Would you like to stay with him?"

She had nothing but her tears, and that strange cube in her hand, "I-I... have nowhere else to go..." She was a lost child, something that I was cursed to be affiliated with. "Will I be safe?" That was for him to answer.

I took his shoulder and stared into his eyes to test his resolve. "...Will you protect her?"

"I will." He did not falter.

"Then you are not a boy anymore. Not a boy at all..." But he would never see himself as any past an imposter. I gave him the Einzbern insignia of cursed gold, "Take it as collateral, but do not give it to anyone, and no matter what, do not sell it unless you wish for a great curse of misfortune to fall upon you and this entire country. If you can do that, and keep the girl safe, then you will have no problem finding what you wish." The light was like a lovely embrace, and I said something so unlike myself.

He is taken aback by it, his brows furrowed, "Then take this from my end, and it will be in your hands. I can not say I expect much, and I will not put my hopes in you… He gave me the tuner for the El-Melloi source crest. It was like an equation to solve, and once fixed it would be used to restructure the magic that had become like a corrupted code due to my origin.

"I have something too… but I don't know what it is…" And the girl gave it to me like some sort of gift. If she knew what it was, then she would not hold it so comfortably. I took it from her gently.

I knew it was a weapon.

It was an anti-spirit bomb. Not useful against humans, but against spirits it had the power to even kill a servant if used right next to them. '...Just… in case…' And I put it with the rest.

I rub her hair, "It's a fine gift… Thank you. I am sorry you have had to live through this. I will be going now, I hope you can make a new life for yourself here. This man is a Lord of magic, and he will keep you safe." Everything has been completed here, and there is nothing keeping me from leaving.

With Ilya… I became a father, but it was with Shirou that I became a dad. Before that I was still just a kid, not taking any responsibility for who I am. So I was different. He must have become utterly confused by me now… "You really have changed, Emiya Kiritsugu. I will not say it has been good to see you, for these last days have aged me. ..I will come to Fuyuki in a year's time... I hope we can speak on good terms."

A year… Or maybe a little more… "Hah... then it has to be enough." That is our goodbye.

Just as he reaches for his door with the girl, I recall one last thing worth mentioning but stop myself.

...I would not burden him with knowledge he does not need. He has enough stress lines already. 'Kotomine Kirei yet lives.' I would have said, but I don't even know if he ever even knew who that was. It is the luck of the youth that he remains, I would not burden him with my problems.

I made many promises in this town, and I did questionable things... But any promise is worth it for hope. I did as she told me to, and followed her words almost to he letter.

When did I begin trusting her? Or is she mind-controlling me? Is there a difference? Love is the most potent form of mind control: it blinds one to flaws and makes you accept horrible things to keep it. It was an evil all on its own in terms of how insidious it was, turning men into monsters.

I was done with adventures, done with jobs. I was done years ago, yet she made me go anyway — a test — yes, that is what she said. A test on both of us, to see what would occur if we parted.

...My answer was homesickness. A vague impulse to escape the gray, and return to a sense of comfort in a place far away.

I travelled straight east, not lingering anymore than I had to as I did not look back.

---

Sorrow (Music) /RDMXVvHSnJ0

This time, it was real snow outside, and not the fake snow that the Einzbern inserted into their little climate.

It was march 19th, and the last day of winter… yet it snowed with a cool front coming down just as I arrived into Fuyuki.

I had never truly appreciated the view of the red bridge, the bay was... pretty. Even if all I could think of was the memory of a shining sword cutting a monster in two… I am old. I came during the night, and it had just turned into morning, and I walked from the train station in Shinto past the park that now lay empty, and towards Miyama town. And I found it all almost pleasant...

I had never appreciated the world at all, not a single time...

"Haha…" What has changed? It is all funny, and I can't help but laugh. The dark whispers will always be there, even without a curse to bring them out and parade them inside my head. I have done enough bad things in my memory that I know I am a bad man and that I can never make up for it with the wish I wanted.

I pass stone walls, and the grandmas out shopping. I pass a town at peace. I never knew what had happened that day she arrived, but from what I can gather people disappeared and then reappeared later, suddenly like coming out from the void… Of course, it was labelled a mass hysteria event or some sort of prank caused by a gas leak. The city has promised to review the gas lines.

It's not the town I grew up in, and many places have only poor memories ascribed to them. The park, and the collapsed hotel… The Matou residence, the Tohsaka residence and the far away Einzbern castle…

Despite it all, it is somehow home — that which has all I still wish to hold.

When I happen upon the gate, my eyes feel open. There is no chain holding me right now. Nothing stops me from leaving, and going anywhere... but I came back here without thinking. Of course... This is my home. The door is there, and it is quiet. Deathly silent, without fanfare or signs of life.

I reach out... but my hand stops, for what would await me inside was many things that would hurt me. But it is in pain that salvation is found.

I look back and see the sea reflecting the morning sun. "Hah..." There will be no far-green country for me to rest at, no… heaven is not where I belong.

I slide the door open. It is dark, and as I move nervously into the Kitchen, I am tackled down. "Welcome home!" I am surprised and pushed over to the ground in an embrace. "It was so cold without you, so we couldn't wait." But I knew it was just her, and she dragged us all along into this four-person mess.

She drags me down, and then the children too. It is jovial, and so out of place in my story, I can't help but laugh. How did I reach this? The man who hated hugging is now engrossed in some jumble of an embrace but I would not take this away for anything. "Haha, yes... I am home." A wife and two children, it is the 'ideal life'... I will reside here until the end.

And I see the little red eyes that I dread and love. Not so far from mine, "You came back, Kiritsugu…" Cold, and distant, and afraid, and unsure. Yet she is there, and I am here… and any difficulty can be mended with time.

"Yes, Ilya. And I will not be leaving… I swear it, I give my entire life to you. Even if you were to wish me gone again, I will do it. If you wish me to be your father, then I will be happy to do that… If I can make anything up to you, then I will. I will not promise that there is no possibility that it turns all to dust, but… if you take my hand I will hold it, and I won't let go for as long as I can hold it." The last time, she stabbed me… but we had both been given a second chance. I held out my hand to her.

Her hand which gripped Shirou's shirt unconsciously slowly moved forwards and touched mine but moved away as if afraid that it would disappear or maybe take hold of her and hurt her. She would give me my chance, but would not give her trust.

But that was more than enough.

The emotions that were frozen in both of us thawed, and we did cry. The cold that lingered in her finally cracked fully and she could now live in this new environment, and the path to a good future was cleared. Still, she would cling more to her brother but that made me feel better… She would never truly be able to trust me, but perhaps he could take my place.

But my hands were already full, for I had another who I had to hold, and she is one who had jealous eyes even towards her own daughter. I felt my life come together, and somehow it all came to this, as Ilya would have Shirou and I would have Iri. My fate led to this moment. "Are you happy now, Kiritsugu?" The darkness was warm.

"Yeah… It's not so bad." I will not have an ever-after, but if I can make one for them, then that is more than I deserve.

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Author's Notes:

Long story for Kiri, but it worked out I think. It serves as a lot of build-up for later. It took me way longer to do thane it should have but there was a lot to cover in order to make sense. As for the details of the contract between Emiya and El-melloi, and also Tohsaka. I don't know when I'll write them entirely out, but the important parts are already stated.

Next chapter should just be about Shirou, and Ilya and Rin and Sakura and Iri and Taiga meeting one another. More chaotic than this for sure, but iri has calmed down a bit over time.

Not much to say more than that but that I appreciate your support. Reviews, and follows and favourites are very appreciated to me and make me happy. So of course, I ask you humbly for it.