Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or profit from it.

A/N: So… I'm finding it hard to fluidly transition into gender representation without making it seem like it's a biological construct, which I really don't see it as. I explain why I follow that theoretical stance at the end of the chapter, but what is pertinent to this chapter is that I start to transition between the genders.

Chapter 2

Kakashi pushed himself faster. He knew this was coming, and he had been sticking so close to Obito to ensure it didn't happen, but it still did. Obito had been abducted while they were on a mission.

No, no, no, no, no! Kakashi's heart was beating fast in his ears and he felt truly panicked. He couldn't lose Obito too, he couldn't kill him like he had Rin!

Kakashi found the enemy easily and suppressed his charka as he moved between shadows of the trees. No matter how angry or afraid for Obito he was, Kakashi had to think about this carefully. Rushing in would just get them all killed. The enemy ninja were huddled around Obito. They had chakra restraints on Obito and had clearly anesthesized him. He was fighting the drug, but Kaskashi could tell his teammate was losing that battle.

One of the nin growled in annoyance. "Fine, be that way boy," he spat, and Kakashi watched in horror as the man made a chakra scalpel. Of course, they were here for Obito's eyes not to seal a bijuu in him—although that was still a possibility once they took his eyes.

Kakashi's anger broke and he felt cold. Chidori was out, but he had spent the last few weeks working on his stealth, reflexes, and skills with various weapons. Kakashi moved to a better vantage point. Three ninja below him, and he had not been sensed yet. He could get the one right there easily.

Kakashi fingered a poisoned senbon. He'd throw all of them. Based on his experiences with the sharingan, he knew the possible angles at which the nin could dodge if he chose to. He'd aim at them all. He'd need a millisecond delay between each of the different paths they could take. Kakashi calculated the trajectories calmly even as Obito spat out an insult at the nin hovering above him. Likely they pumped Obito with a drug that would keep his sharingan activated for the extraction.

Kakashi then threw the poisoned senbon. The nin dodged the initial barrage but dived into the path of the others. Kakashi used the shunshin to rush forward with his tanto drawn. He sliced through one of the nin's side before experience told Kakashi to switch with a log. He was back up in the trees as a barrage of kunai hit the log.

"What the hell?! Get her!" the leader and medic of the team ordered.

"'Kashi!" Obito gasped before crying out in pain. Kakashi threw another barrage of senbon down at his enemies before using shunshin to appear at the other side of the field where he threw kunai with wires attached. They may have missed the weapons, but they were standing on them and they were all touching via the metal wire. Kakashi ran his elemental chakra down the wires as he landed on the ground and ended up wrapping the initially shocked ninja in the wire he still held onto. He electrocuted them before they could even think to switch out with a log or shunshin away.

The medic shifted his chakra scalpel to lie above Obito's throat. The Uchiha's left eye was in his other hand and the medic snarled at Kakashi over Obito's pained threats to kill him, "Make one move and I kill him," the enemy growled.

Obito was getting angrier. Kakashi saw the Uchiha look at him and understanding passed between them. Obito trusted Kakashi, and the sharingan could not fall into enemy hands. The calm settled over Kakashi again, and he knew from experience what he should do. The chakra restraints had a seal on them; if they were scratched, the restraints became like every other restraint. Kakashi also knew that if he hit the right point, the kiri nin's arm would be useless. A perfectly timed shunshin could also allow Kakashi to move and attack the medic before he could think to slit Obito's throat.

Kakashi started circulating chakra into his arms which made the enemy tense, but Kakashi threw his senbon in rapid succession before using the shunshin technique to get close to the enemy. He kicked the enemy away and followed him with his tanto drawn. Before the nin had time to really react, Kakashi dug the blade into his stomach. Kakashi heard a kunai whistling toward him and he ducked in time to see a kunai embed into the nin's skull.

Kakashi turned around to see Obito. One hand was clasped tightly to his neck, and the other was still outstretched. Blood slipped beneath the hand on his neck and Obito's bloody face smiled at him. The panic settled in again, and Kakashi rushed forward.

"I-I want you to have my eye, 'Kashi" Obito gasped out.

"You're not going to die," Kakashi mumbled and managed to pry his teammate's hand away from his neck. The artery was nicked. The panic broke and that cold calculating manner came over Kakashi again. Obito shook his head and smiled slightly as he succumbed to the sedatives and blood loss. Kakashi started to burn shut the wound. They needed sensei and medical help, now.

"You're not going to die. You're not going to die," Kakashi murmured over and over again like a mantra.

…

Obito opened his eye slowly. The world was bleary and his head felt like it was full of cotton. He could hear the sound of the hospital around him and smell the antiseptics in the air. He could also hear the faint breathing of his teammate. When he moved his leg slightly, he felt her arms; Kakashi had fallen asleep by his bedside. Obito couldn't help but smile slightly at that. His other eye was bandaged, and undoubtedly that was because of the new eye they put in him.

He looked over at his teammate. Her rather wild silver hair spilled all over the bed. She wore her mask as always. The scar over her left eye broke up her pale smooth skin. She really wasn't cute like Rin, but she was strong and she cared about him now. Rin said they had to live for her, and he was going to do his damndest to get Kakashi to live too.

A mischievous smile came over him and he sat up slightly and started to reach for his teammate's face. Maybe she did look cute under that mask, and now was his chance to find ou—"Mah," Kakashi drawled as she intercepted his hand, "you'll have do better than that."

Kakashi never tried to speak in a higher pitch to be more feminine; she was just always herself without a care to how she came off. It was kind of un-cute but cute at the same time. She gave him her typical eye-smile, but Obito felt a cold rage settle over him.

He grabbed her face and she looked at him with her eyes wide open. He narrowed his gaze in anger. Her eyes were the same as after Kanabi Bridge. "I said you should take my eye!" he hissed. She blinked several times in disbelief and looked ready to protest, but Obito hurried on, "I meant what I said."

Kakashi pulled back out of his hold and looked away from him. "You're not dead Obito, I—"

"I want you to have it," he interrupted. Now that he took the time to feel his eye with his own chakra, he could tell it was his eye that they put back in the socket. "If anyone is going to try and take my eyes, I want you to have them!" Why didn't she get this? "Besides," he said more calmly, "you need the sharingan to complete your chidori, right?"

The way she refused to look at him said he was right, and he reached out to grab her hand. "I mean it Bakashi," he teased with a smile on his face. They may have started referring to each other in more amicable terms, but every now and then they teased each other with their old name calling.

Kakashi looked up at him, and the way her eyes softened, he knew she was smiling slightly at him. But then she stood up and shook her head—what?!

"I can't, Obito-kun. It would make our spars far more unfair than they already are," she reasoned. She was eye-smiling again, and Obito glared at her.

"Then I'll just have to train harder."

Kakashi sighed and closed her eyes as she shook her head. "Obito-kun..." she began to chide.

That just made him madder. Didn't she get that he wanted to do this? "I need you to have it, 'Kashi. So if we're ever separated again…" he trailed off and started to blush. Obito imagined that if she had his eye, they'd see each other's world and know when each other was in danger, but he couldn't get the words out. Regardless, the way Kakashi looked at him made Obito feel like she knew what he wanted to say.

Kakashi sat down on the bed beside him and took his hand in hers. "Your clan will try to reclaim your eye and would probably disown you for giving it to me."

Obito frowned. Right, clan politics. The climate in the Uchiha district was even pricklier than usual after a police corps squad had been mobilized on an escort mission and never returned. The people on that mission were good clan memebers but had essentially disappeared just as the war was ending. Now there were fears that an enemy nation had targeted them for their eyes and there was talk about enforcing a seal on branch members to keep the bloodline from leaving Konoha. Obito bowed his head for a moment as he said a silent prayer for his cousins, but he wouldn't let that incident deter him.

He squeezed Kakashi's hand. "I don't care," Obito stated, "and I'll never care. Even if they disown me; it will be worth it." He had never really fit in with his clan anyways.

Kakashi sighed again and motioned for him to scoot over. Obito did so and she laid down next to him with their hands still holding onto each other. "Get some sleep, loser," she drawled and settled down next to him.

He smiled slightly and agreed. When Obito woke up again, Kakashi was gone and a nurse was peeling back the bandage over his eyes. "Are you going to do the surgery now?" Obito asked groggily.

"Hmm?" the nurse asked as she flashed a light in his eye.

He rolled his eyes, although his left eye was tender, "You know, so 'Kashi can have my left eye."

The nurse pulled back alarmed, and Obito started to feel angry again. Kakashi did it again! Obito snapped his hand out and grabbed a scalpel from the nurse's apron of utensils and held it against his left eye. "Kakashi gets my eye, I don't care about the consequences!" he shouted. He'd probably be sent to the psych ward for this, but he was damn serious.

Obito watched a flurry of nurses and medics rush around him before Kakashi was brought back in. She looked almost disappointed that he was holding his eyes hostage like this, but eventually the medics agreed despite the clan politics. Obito didn't give a damn. He wanted to protect Kakashi as much as she had protected him. No matter how un-cute she could be.

…

Kakashi hadn't been sure if "Madara" would attack that night since Obito hadn't been trapped in the cave-in. If it was really Madara, Kakashi wasn't sure how effective the old man would be, surely Minato-sensei would be fine against him, but then… what if Madara had recruited someone else in this after-life?

Regardless, Kakashi's foolish hope was crushed. Madara or his lackey had succeeded against Sensei. By the time he knew what was happening, it was too late; the Kyuubi was released. Kakashi had tried to save his sensei, but in the panic and confusion of the Kyuubi attack, no one would listen to him—not even Sandaime-sama, who was overwhelmed with his efforts to keep his family safe. Kakashi and Obito had duties around the village, but how could Kakashi explain what his sensei was going to do without people laughing him off?

Now there was Naruto, a new born baby girl, in the Sandaime's arms as he reclaimed the Hokage mantle. Orochimaru would defect soon, and Kakashi would need to be there for Tenzo. But Sandaime-sama didn't know these things, and so he asked them to take care of the baby girl. They were still just children; why were they here before the Sandaime? Why was he asking if they would take her in? He had presented the same choice to Kakashi in his past life, but-but still!

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Obito answered for himself and Kakashi.

Kakashi stepped back while shaking his head. "I-I can't!" Kakashi blurted out, even though he knew he should be there for Naruto. Physically and emotionally, Kakashi couldn't be around the baby. He needed ANBU and there was ROOT to flush out.

Obito turned to look at Kakashi in horror. "How can you say that?!" he hissed, but Kakashi just shook his head more. That was Sensei and Kushina-san's baby; it hurt so much, too much. He needed ANBU to numb him, he needed something, but he couldn't handle Naruto.

Sandaime-sama smiled sadly. "I understand, Kakashi-chan. That is why I asked both of you here. Obito-kun, you may leave with Naruto-chan and you will be on child rearing leave until Kakashi is emotionally ready to help you raise her."

Obito looked between them in confusion but accepted the blonde haired infant from the old man. Obito then looked at Kakashi almost pleadingly for a moment, but Sandaime-sama motioned him to leave. Once Obito was gone, presumably back to the apartment complex they both lived in, the Hokage activated seals around the office.

"Has Danzo approached you?" the old man asked. Kakashi nodded minutely, numbly. "Good. Jiraiya-chan found an abandoned lab Orochimaru-kun ran. You will inform Danzo that Orochimaru has defected."

Kakashi nodded minutely again. He knew what would happen. He would meet Tenzo and start being his support in a world outside of ROOT. The Hokage dismissed the jounin, and Kakashi was relieved to have something familiar in his life again.

…

Jiraiya stared numbly down at the file in her hands. The picture clipped to the top of the file belonged to Experiment twenty-seven, an orphan named Tenshi. Her Tenshi, she knew by the alarmingly large eyes on the boy and his brown hair. He was the child she gave up because…because she had a name to make for herself and it would put the child in danger if anyone found out his parents were two of the Sannin. Her baby Tenshi… Orochimaru had abducted him and-and done such horrible experiments.

Twenty-seven's tube-case-prison-thing was blown wide open, and Jiraiya wondered what that meant. Had Orochimaru unwittingly experimented on and killed their own son? Or had her son escaped? Had her little Tenshi escaped?

Why had she slept with Orochimaru? Why? She knew she was pregnant when they came across Konan, Yahiko, and Nagato. That had been another reason why she had stayed with them so long. Konan and Yahiko were good kunoichi and Nagato was such a clueless boy, but the three friends loved and cared about each other. They had been there through Jiraiya's pregnancy and they had helped her deliver her Tenshi.

If Sensei didn't kill Orochimaru, she would. She would kill that bastard. She'd kill him for taking advantage of her insecurities, for experimenting on their child and all those other children, and for whatever other monstrosities he had done.

Jiraiya looked at herself in the reflection of the busted test-tube. She was a tall and broad woman. Her white hair was always messy, and she had very little softness to her body or face. She always envied Tsunade for her large chest and womanly curves, but Jiraiya had none of that. She had never looked very feminine, but the night after their battle with Hanzo, Orochimaru had made her feel beautiful for the first time in her life. Jiraiya was not a conventional beauty and never would be; perhaps that was why she was so fascinated with love and sex in its various forms, and why she had let herself sleep with Orochimaru.

He was the first man she had been with, and she regretted it so very much, even more so now that Tenshi had been experimented on. After that experience, Jiraiya made sure to not only use protection but perform the jutsu Tsunade invented to help ensure there were no unintended pregnancies. Jiraiya had never preferred to sleep with men, and so seldom did, but she'd take what she could get when she was stressed. Not that it mattered anymore; Jiraiya didn't really have much time for sex because of her spy network, and now it seemed she needed to hunt down and kill her teammate and one-time-lover.

Tenshi… Jiraiya should not have been so blind to Orochimaru; she should have suspected something! Now her baby and so many other children were dead. She needed a drink and a good fuck, unless she found Orochimaru right away…in which case, she could strangle him. I'm sorry Tenshi, she thought as she looked one last time at the test tube.

…

Kakashi's eyes fluttered open. He had not succeeded in stopping Orochimaru, as he had suspected, but he had garnered Tenzo's trust. He'd have to escape the hospital soon and stop Danzo from permanently harming Kakashi's kohai.

"Where is she!?" Kakashi's eyes snapped open at the enraged tone in Obito's voice. He was still down the hall, but the silver-haired teen could hear him clearly. Soon Obito slammed the door open and stormed over to Kakashi. His sharingan was whirling wildly in his eye, and Kakashi was taken aback by the madness in his eyes.

He grabbed Kakashi's hospital gown and shook the slender teen. "What the hell were you thinking?!" he shouted as tears slipped down his face. "You can't leave me too!"

Kakashi's chest constricted because he knew what had alarmed him so much about Obito's expression. Kakashi felt a giddy sort of nervousness flare in the pit of his stomach as he processed what this meant. Kakashi was Obito's Rin in this afterlife. "You don't get to leave me too," Obito mumbled as he dropped his head against Kakashi's neck. Kakashi didn't really process the words as the weight of what he had just discovered fully settled into his mind.

This Kakashi was Obito's Rin. A smile split across his face even though he didn't think he deserved such a place in Obito's life. Despite the pain and stiffness in his body, Kakashi wrapped his arms around Obito's shoulders.

"Never," he murmured despite himself. "I'll never leave." Obito's hands let go of the hospital gown and moved to wrap around Kakashi. They hugged, and Kakashi didn't even feel embarrassed about this.

He let this warm feeling settle over him for a moment longer before he broke it. "Mah, but I need to go save a careless idiot's life," Kakashi eye-smiled up at Obito who undoubtedly looked confused. "Want to help?" Kakashi asked coyly.

Obito barked with laughter and pulled back fully. "Does this mean I'm helping to spring you out of the hospital?" he asked.

"Naturally."

"Only if I do most of the fighting and you stay in the hospital until you're properly discharged after this," Obito bargained, and Kakashi acquiesced reluctantly.

"Bring me dumplings when you visit then," Kakashi added in the stipulation. Obito grinned broadly as he nodded emphatically; for some reason, Kakashi loved dumplings now—must be this afterlife's new taste-buds? (The teen's favorite dish was still eggplant miso soup, but somethings had changed.)

After changing clothes, Kakashi was ready to go rescue her Kohai—hmm? Her? Kakashi didn't have time to contemplate what gender he aligned with; what mattered was getting her-his ANBU team back, and maybe having someone else by her side. Kakashi felt confident with Obito on her right. They were the survivors of Team 7 after all.

…

Naruto felt eyes on him, more eyes than normal. Experience told him ANBU had been drawn to his location from his repeated attempts to break an illusion. He shook his head and shakily got to his feet.

Perhaps Madara hadn't killed him; maybe this was the Tsukiyomi—but why the hell would this be his Tsukiyomi illusion? Moreover, why would Kaguya make this illusion? How did it fulfill her power trip fantasies?

Naruto hurried down the street to the academy, though he grimaced when his-his breasts bounced at the movement. It kind of hurt too. He crossed his arms over his chest and that felt a little better. How did baa-chan stand this? His breasts weren't even big, they were just tiny little lumps and they still hurt when they bounced!

Naruto scrunched up his nose but at last was at the Academy. Sensei would know what to do…unless. Was Sensei dead? Did Kaka-sensei "die" instead of Obito?

The blonde made his way numbly to the right classroom and found a seat. Naruto trembled in his seat and pulled his legs up to his chest. One thing was for sure: Naruto wasn't dead. Whether this body was real or an illusion was still up for debate. If this was Tsukiyomi he had no way to know or break out of it without access to Kurama. However, from what Naruto understood of the moon-plot, Madara and Kaguya wanted to make the whole world subservient to them (her), but this didn't seem like something they'd make an illusion of. Other people had peaceful fantasies, but this surely wasn't one of those illusions either. Maybe the Madara/Kaguya subservience thing was possible, but the peaceful fantasy was definitely out—Naruto had never wanted to be with Sasuke (being a girl wasn't that big of a deal to him given the number of times he had posed as Naruko).

So…what did that leave? This was real? This was the world-wide Tsukiyomi? Naruto supposed it would all depend on Sasuke. If Sasuke followed down the same path, then it was Tsukiyomi because then Kaguya could relish in how her plans and manipulations were coming together again while also attempting to embarrass those who had defied her godliness.

"Naruto-chan?" he looked up to see Iruka-sensei staring at him with a worried look.

Naruto dropped his feet to the floor and put on a forced smile. "I'm fine Iruka-sensei! We're gonna get our team assignments today, so I'm great, dattebayo!" Naruto cheered. His voice was really high pitched, probably to make him seem more feminine and cute. He could probably speak in a lower register, but it was like his body was trained to speak in a higher pitch.

Iruka frowned and shook his head. "Naruto-chan, I'd be concerned if that were true; it's okay to not be fine," he stated as he set a hand on Naruto's arm in a comforting gesture.

Naruto tried to smile but it faltered. Something inside of him broke down. "I-I killed Mizuki…" Naruto gasped out horrified, and the tears renewed. How could he do that? And where had that response come from? But that was what Iruka-sensei was talking about, so there was no harm in the mindless blurt.

"I know you didn't mean to. Accidents happen," Iruka tried to reassure him. "None of us saw that log there; you can't blame yourself for his neck snapping on it." Despite Iruka's attempt to be comforting, it did nothing for Naruto. In fact, Naruto felt worse and brought his legs back up to his chest so that he could hide his face from his soon-to-be-former sensei.

"You are a ninja of Konoha now. You will be expected to kill in the line of duty," Iruka murmured. "It gets easier with time," he added weakly.

Naruto grimaced and hid his face more. It had always been his goal to accomplish his missions without death. Sure, he'd beat his opponent black and blue, but he didn't kill if he could help it. Killing only perpetuated the cycle of hate and revenge.

Iruka-sensei sighed and patted Nauto on the back few times before moving to the front of the classroom at a loss for words. Naruto could hear more and more classmates enter, but he still hid his face. He only raised his head when he heard someone sit down next to him.

It was Sasuke. Naruto immediately tensed, and tensed more when Sasuke pulled out a bundle of wrappings and slid them into his jumpsuit pocket. "You shouldn't leave in such a hurry and forget such things," he whispered, still looking straight ahead of him.

Naruto dropped his feet to the ground and promptly got up to find a new seat. He somehow managed not to blush, even though his shame and embarrassment were practically suffocating. Naruto supposed he also felt angry, so he focused on that anger more than the other emotions. Naruto sat down as far away from Sasuke as he could, and the Uchiha actually looked at him with his eyebrows raised in surprise. Why was the teme so expressive here? Then again, the other boy seemed to do a lot of things Naruto wouldn't have expected. The blonde managed not to shudder.

Soon the room was filled with chattering students. Minutes ticked by until, finally, Ino and Sakura burst into the room at the same time, but their yells of who got there first were more friendly than his past lived life. Sasuke had open seats on either side of him, so the two fangirls immediately surrounded him after their announcement.

They started chattering on about "Sasuke-kun this," "Sasuke-kun that," but then stopped themselves and looked around the room in confusion. Their eyes finally landed on Naruto at the back and they frowned more. Naruto trained his gaze forward and refused to look at any of his classmates, especially Sasuke—he was relieved he didn't remember what they had done because knowing they had done something was bad enough.

At last, Iruka told everyone to calm down and get seated. The potential genin teams were rattled off, and Naruto noted they were all the same—oh god no! If everything was the exact same that meant-that meant—"Team 7 will be Uzumaki Naruto" no, no, no, no, no, "Haruno Sakura," nonononononono, "and Uchiha Sasuke." Damn it.

Sakura jumped up with her fist in the air, and Ino scoffed as she looked the other way. Naruto just stared numbly ahead of him, but he could see Sasuke's pleased smirk out of the corner of his eye.

Well, since Naruto didn't know what they did, maybe it would make it all less awkward? Although this Tsukiyomi was likely meant to torture him, so Naruto was starting to doubt his chances. The last of the names were called, and Naruto just remained sitting as Sasuke got up with Sakura and Ino trailing behind him. Naruto tensed when the boy stopped behind him.

"Come on, idiot, let's have a team meal." Ino made an affronted noise and stormed off to talk with her team, and Sakura made a noise of delight.

Naruto shook his head. "I'm fine. You two go without me," he said. He could practically feel Sasuke's annoyance.

"Naru-chan, are you sure?" Sakura asked half in disbelief, and Naruto looked over at the girl surprised.

"Ah…" Words failed him. Sakura was friendly with him in the Tsukiyomi? Shouldn't he just be more competition to the girl?

Sasuke leaned slightly over Naruto; he was now glaring at the blonde slightly. "It's not a team meal without you," he replied calmly, but Naruto could hear his annoyance and even—was that hurt?

"I-I meant what I said, 'tebayo," Naruto argued back with a minute stutter. Naruto then hastily maneuvered out from Sasuke's caging stature, and waved at both of them as he hurried out of the room. He could feel Sasuke glaring after him and hear Sakura squealing in delight.

"I owe you, Naru-chan!" Sakura called after Naruto. It was so weird, but pleasant—so maybe this wasn't some hellish Tsukiyomi?

Naruto left the academy feeling a little lighter and very hungry. Ah, he hadn't been to Ichikaru's in way too long. He grinned to himself and made it to his favorite ramen stand in all of Konoha—no in all of the world.

"Hello there, Naru-chan," Teuchi greeted with a warm smile. "Miso ramen?"

"Yeah huh!" Naruto chirped. "And a pork ramen after that!" The blonde smiled broadly at the kind old man. The first order quickly came up, and Naruto was in heaven. Half way through his bowl of miso ramen; however, the stall flap opened up and his teammates entered.

Sakura looked a little uncertain, but Sasuke smirked a little when he saw Naruto there. What was with that bastard!? Naruto quickly inhaled the rest of his ramen as Sasuke sat down next to him and Sakura sat down on the other side of the Uchiha.

"Ah…" Sakura began after they had both ordered. "Um, who do you two think our sensei's going to be?" she asked a little awkwardly but still tried to start a conversation.

Sasuke rolled his shoulders back and smirked more. "Probably my cousin," he answered.

Oh shit! Naruto didn't think he could stand Obito being his sensei! Naruto coughed a few times as some broth went down the wrong tube. Sasuke looked over at him with his eyebrow raised again.

"Oh…right, I guess that makes sense," Sakura replied lamely before looking at Naruto in concern. "Naru-chan, I thought we taught you how to eat like a lady, what's going on with you today?" Sakura sounded like she was chastising Naruto, and the blonde bowed slightly in an apologetic manner.

Eventually he got his breathing under control, and he flashed Sakura a sheepish smile. "Ah, I'm just really hungry is all," he explained, and Sasuke frowned slightly.

"Of course you are. Did you even eat breakfast this morning, idiot?" he asked.

Naruto glared at Sasuke slightly and turned to finish his miso bowl. He was half tempted to forgo the pork ramen just to get away, but it was ramen…

Sakura made a disgusted noise. "It's like you have no gag reflex," she commented. She shook her head and missed Sasuke's growing smirk—oh god no! No!

Sakura sighed and continued speaking, "I guess Ino and I will just have to put you through boot camp again."

Sakura's words sent a feeling of dread through Naruto's whole body. He turned wide, pleading eyes on the pink haired girl. "Please, Sakura-chan, you don't have to do that. I-I just don't want to miss our sensei is all!" Naruto attempted to defend his actions.

The girl looked at Naruto skeptically before sighing and shaking her head. "We're still going to have a sleep-over tonight, so expect at least a few lectures," Sakura said sternly, and Naruto bowed deeply in his seat.

Once he straightened, he turned to look at the proprietor. "Ah, Teuchi-san, I think I'll just have the pork ramen to go," Naruto called, and his meal was soon put into a container. He grabbed some disposable chopsticks, paid for his meal, and said his good-byes.

He was nearly three stalls away when Sasuke caught up to him. "You forgot your change," Sasuke lied.

Naruto whirled on him with a glare. "Then it's a tip," he snapped.

Sasuke grabbed his arm and pulled them into an alley. Naruto gritted his teeth in annoyance and was half tempted to kick Sasuke in the groin hard, but he knew how much that hurt so he wouldn't—but it was tempting!

"Why are you avoiding me?" he asked as if he was really clueless. Naruto looked away from him and tugged on his arm, but Sasuke held on tighter. "I get it if you want to tone down the fangirl act now that you're a kunoichi, but you can't just ditch me with your useless friends."

That really pissed him off. Naruto stomped down on Sasuke's foot and fully jerked his arm out of the boy's hold. "Don't you ever call my friends useless, you jerk!" he hissed. He then hopped up onto the nearest roof and raced for the academy.

Naruto found an empty classroom and pulled his knees up to his chest. He was so confused, and embarrassed. He hid his face in his legs and tried to get all the weird feelings under control. Kaguya and Madara were sick people to put him through this!

…

Naruto sat next to Sakura who sat next to Sasuke. Instructor after instructor collected their students, and Naruto hoped Obito didn't show up. Thirty minutes passed when the last team, besides them, was collected, and Naruto nearly sighed. Late, so it probably wasn't Obito, unless…unless Obito was still late all the time like Sensei had said the Uchiha had been in their genin days.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke to check on his disposition: he looked disappointed and annoyed. Not Obito then! But then…who was their instructor? Maybe it was Kakashi-sensei; maybe no one on the last Team 7 died…besides Rin, probably, Naruto amended his thoughts.

As the minutes ticked by, Sakura pulled Naruto to the side and started talking about being a proper lady. The blonde listened half-heartedly and soon two hours had passed. Sasuke was sulking in one corner, although he occasionally shook his head in resigned disbelief.

There was only so much Sakura could lecture on before she too got bored, so she plopped down into the seat next to Naruto and lowered her voice, "What's going on Naru-chan?"

"Hmm?" Naruto asked just as softly with his eyes locked onto the door.

"You got here before me or Ino; why weren't you all over Sasuke-kun?" Because apparently he had been all over the bastard the night before—gah! This was terrible!

Naruto blushed slightly. "I-I'm sorry Sakura-chan, I-I just can't pretend anymore," he explained. It felt like the truth too. Naruto looked down, blushed brighter, and fidgeted in a way that was reminiscent of Hinata.

"Huh?!" Sakura straightened up in her chair and was frowning.

"I never liked him, dattebayo!" Naruto blurted out and was prepared for an assault, but none came. Naruto looked over at Sakura warily. "I…I just wanted to have friends," he added in a small voice. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed as he bowed his head forward, and he was sorry for deceiving them even if he didn't remember it.

Sakura's expression softened and she shook her head. "You idiot," she said this endearingly and ruffled Naruto's hair.

Naruto blushed a little more but began to smile. He was glad she wasn't mad; although Sasuke looked mad or maybe just annoyed.

The silence between Sakura and Naruto was comfortable, but it was broken by the sound of the door sliding open. Gravity-defying silver hair entered the room, and Naruto jumped to his feet.

"Kaka-sensei!" By the time Naruto finished his shout, the man had fully entered the room and turned to face them. "What the hell?!" Naruto exclaimed. There was a little thing propped against his hip. Why was there a child against his hip? And why was Kakashi so slender—like more slender than he had ever been.

Naruto sat down and his gaze kept flickering between the toddler staring at him with wide black eyes, and Kakashi's lithe form—it was almos feminine.

"I can't believe you brought her," Sasuke snapped shortly after Naruto's outburst. "What?! Is she going to be with us on every mission? That's hardly responsible parenting!"

The female Kakashi (?) eye-smiled. "Mah, since I'm a single parent," she-he-they began and Sasuke bristled, "I'm technically still on child rearing leave, but I can train a genin team."

"You could get a babysitter," Sasuke shot back, and Naruto shifted uncomfortably at the animosity between them.

Maybe-female Kakashi tilted her (?) head slightly as if thinking it over before fixing Sasuke with a deadpan eye. "Like I trust anyone with a defenseless Uchiha," she (definitely she) replied with a heavy dose of snark.

"You could leave her with your husband." Sasuke's rebuttal was cold, and Naruto knew his words were meant to hurt. Kakashi's eye narrowed slightly in a dangerous way before she eye-smiled.

"Estranged husband, Sasuke-chan," she replied dismissively. Sasuke scoffed and looked away, but Kakashi continued speaking, "And since he doesn't want to claim responsibility and I wouldn't want him to anyways, here we are." Female Kakashi made a gesture with her free arm at the space around her.

Kakashi then turned to the rest of them. "Up on the roof," she ordered. She then vanished in a swirl of leaves. Sasuke stormed out of the room shortly after, and Naruto just sat there numbly.

"Um…what exactly was that about?" Sakura asked in alarm.

Naruto numbly stood up. "Sasuke's cousin was on a genin team with Sensei, and..." Naruto swallowed thickly, "they were married, but something happened and Sasuke's cousin thinks Sensei's dead or something like that."

"Oh," Sakura's reaction summed up what Naruto was feeling, but at the same time, he was panicking a little. This was such a messed up world; Kaguya was a very sick princess! What's next, Orochimaru being a girl and Jiraiya chasing after her? Naruto shuddered and hurried up to the roof.

Once there, they sat down with Sakura in the middle again. Sasuke was glaring at the female Kakashi, and Kakashi was musing herself with the toddler attached to her hip. Once they were all settled, she eye-smiled at them and gestured to Sakura. "Why don't you introduce yourself, Pinkie?" the female Kakashi suggested.

"Ah, what do you want me to say?"

"Yeah," Naruto added for his teammate's benefit. "Why don't you introduce yourself, Sensei?"

Female Kakashi looked at Naruto with a deadpan expression but sighed. "My name is Hatake Kakashi," she beagn. Sasuke glared more and scoffed, but Kakashi ignored him. "As you probably all know, I was married to Uchiha Obito, acting head of the Uchiha clan." Naruto could hear the bitterness in her voice at the clan head part.

The woman then gestured to the toddler who was sucking on her thumb as she stared at them with wide, black eyes. "This is my daughter Seiko," she introduced. "As for my interest and dreams…I have some but they are none of your business." She ended with another eye-smile before gesturing to Sakura again.

"Fine," Sakura sighed. "My name is Haruno Sakura." She glanced over at Sasuke before looking back up at the older woman and continuing her introduction. "I like my friends and my crush, and my hobbies include flower arranging, stealth and pursuit practice—" Sasuke snorted at that "—and information gathering." Naruto was starting to think those were all euphemisms for Sasuke Stalking.

"Dreams?" Sensei prompted, and Sakura blushed.

"I dream to be a strong kunoichi," Sakura answered as she looked back over at Sasuke and blushed more. Okay…

Female Kakashi nodded. "Well, let me tell you, childbirth is painful and takes you out of commission for months," the woman commented dryly. Sakura paled and shrank back. "But hey, we all have our dreams," the woman added sarcastically; clearly reading between the lines of Sakura's introduction.

"Now," Kakashi began, "I want you all to meet me to—"

"What about the rest of us?" Naruto asked almost desperately.

"Mah, but you both know me and each other." Female Kakashi then turned to her daughter. "Don't they Seiko-chan?" she asked the girl, and the toddler nodded.

"Please!" Naruto pressed. In any case, he was either in a Tsukiyomi—so the consequences were going to be the consequences—or he somehow ended up in another world when he died, so his introduction would mark him down as an infiltrator, and then maybe he could finally get some answers.

"Alright, Naru-chan, go," Kakashi sighed.

Naruto bounced slightly in place. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I love ramen, training, toads, and…yeah!" he said after thinking for a brief moment. Female Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. "I don't like the three minutes you have to wait for ramen to cook, snakes, or stupid idiots who abandon their teammates for revenge quests, dattebayo." Kakashi's guard was up at this and Naruto suspected he'd be facing T&I, which frankly he didn't care about at this point because this was a hellish, hellish world he wanted to get to the bottom of.

"My hobbies include training, eating ramen, and making friends if I can. My dream for the future is to be Hokage, where I can usher in a new era of peace through no killing. I mean," Naruto amended sheepishly, "sometimes you gotta beat the stubbornness out of people, ya know? But you don't have to kill them!" Naruto paused for a moment before his eyes lit up in excitement, "OH! And I don't want to blow my arm up because of any super awesome jutsu clashes."

Female Kakashi nodded her head before looking at him strangely, but then she turned to Sasuke who scoffed and looked away from her. "Uchiha Sasuke. I like some things, I hate a lot of things, and I don't want to share my hobbies with you," he sneered at the woman. "My dream is what my cousin always says: Restore the clan and live well to make the man behind the massacre feel like he did nothing, and when the time is right, eliminate him."

Whoa that was different. Naruto somehow refrained from looking at Sasuke with his mouth wide open. Female Kakashi stood up and bounced Seiko on her hip.

"Alright. You three will meet me at dawn tomorrow," she stated.

"What for?" Naruto asked helpfully. "Super awesome ninja training?"

"No, your real genin test," female Kakashi said with an eye-smile.

"What?!" they all yelled, and Sasuke sounded pissed at this new test.

"Mah, mah…" the woman said placatingly. "You see, the first test just weeded out those with no potential," she explained with a shrug. "This test has a sixty-six-percent failure rate and will eliminate at least two-thirds of the graduating class. I'll give you more details tomorrow but prepare for a survival test."

Sasuke and Sakura stared at Kakashi in disbelief, but she continued speaking, "Meet at Training Ground 3 at sunrise, and don't eat breakfast unless you want to throw up." She eye-smiled at them before training her eye on Naruto. "And Naru-chan, I'd like to talk to you about Chuunin Mizuki now, please." He heard the threat in her words even if the other two genin were clueless.

Naruto swallowed nervously when Sensei approached him and grabbed his shoulder to take them away from the roof. Here comes the T&I department.

TBC

A/N: Sorry for the sort of cliff-hanger. As I said in the opening aurthor's note, I align with the theory that gender is a social or discursive construction (see Judith Butler, Michel Foucault, and Queer theory [in general] for why) and that is hard to show. As I think I've made it clear, Kakashi and Naruto live in patriarchal societies that have specific expectations for how women should speak and act. Kakashi doesn't really ascribe to it, which is partially why Obito thinks Kakashi is so un-cute. Kakashi and Naruto may begin aligning themselves with feminine pronouns because of this discursive environment they live in now and whenever they talk about their physical bodies. In regards to emotions and experiences from their previous lives, they will probably continue speaking with the male pronoun.

Since first writing this, RadioLab also did a fascinating podcast on technological advances, and one was on virtual reality simulators. Participants began to associate themselves as the avatars they were inhabiting regardless of gender—so that can be a practical sort of application of how one can change their gender based on external stiumuli?