Change comes in a lot of different forms. And over the past 11 months, I've experienced almost every form of change that I can think of. Single to in a relationship. A teenager to an adult. Home to far, far away. Close and now distant, disconnected. Normal everyday girl to imprint. But even with all of those changes, I've somehow been able to hold on to who I am. So much feels like it's in disarray now. Everything that seems like a loss has become a gain somehow but I still feel untethered. All that's left to do is reach out, and hope that I'm pulled back to my familiar shore. He'll pull me back, I know he will.
Jacob heard the distinct skid and crunch of gravel outside as he picked his head up out of his hands. He glanced toward the door for just a second before Paul burst through. Jacob stood up quickly from his place on the couch and whirled to meet him.
"Look, I'm sorry," he started.
"Where is she?" Paul said, irritation clear in his voice.
"Upstairs," Jacob nodded his head toward the staircase and Paul crossed over, dropping his keys. Jake could feel the heat radiating off him as he passed by. "It was an accident. We lost track of time," Jake tried with his own tone of annoyance now. He knew Paul understood that when it came to imprints, things tended to go off the rails, especially when it came to sex. But Paul wouldn't even glance over his shoulder at him.
Instead, he took the stairs two at a time in furious silence. As he reached for the handle of their bedroom door, he hesitated. His eyes scanned up and down the door, listening for any sound of distress within but he was only met with silence and a soft scratching sound.
Paul closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself. With Maya gone so frequently, he found that his swing toward anger and irritation snapped out of him more easily, but he refused to present that side of himself to her. He gently turned the knob, looking over his shoulder at the taped off area across the landing where he was working on the upstairs extension above the guest room extension below. As the door swung open, his eyes immediately fell on the woman who flooded his thoughts. Even just the sight of her sent a rush of relief through him and his palms itched to touch her and feel the soft swell of her in his hands.
Maya was sitting on the bed, her legs crossed underneath her and an array of text books, papers, pens, and notepads spread out around her. She was scratching out notes and her face had that determined look that he'd seen so often bent over the kitchen table or on the couch doing homework in the evening back when things were so new. Maya didn't look up immediately at him when he entered, but instead finished her thought and took a deep breath before setting her pen in the center of her text book.
Paul stood by the open door, hands rested casually on his hips as he watched her carefully.
"Hey," he finally said. Maya let out a laugh and stood up and Paul felt the overwhelming need to cross the bedroom toward her. But he stayed in place waiting for her queue this time. "I'm sorry. I thought she would tell you and when she didn't….I just thought it would be easier to tell you in person." He tried to explain. Maya had crossed her arms across her chest, the oversized, dark blue Columbia sweatshirt and Paul couldn't help but let that same thought that dominated his mind to swim around in his head and perch on the tip of his tongue—the one that always echoed so clearly for him: Mine.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he finally said instead in a breathy exhale. Being this close to her but not getting to touch her was starting to make his body ache. Paul trained his eyes to her face, searching for any feature or hint of smile that would beg him to come closer. Anything.
"I know." Maya finally said, letting her arms drop. The look on her face wasn't one of relief though. Instead she let her eyes fall toward the ground and Paul could see that she was almost shaking.
"Hey, woah," he said, not waiting another moment to cross and take her in his arms. She collapsed into them gratefully and let out a weak sob into his chest. Maya could feel the stress of everything melt away under the too hot weight of his arms. Paul placed his broad hand on the back of her head gently and stroked her hair as the other looped down around her back and pressed underneath her sweatshirt causing a small gasp to escape her lips.
"You okay? I'm sorry, babe." He leaned away from her to try and take a better look at her face, but Maya held tight to him, burying her face against his chest and breathing in the scent of him. She tried to surround her senses with him—her anchor to home now that had felt so distant and lost to her just an hour ago—and tried to regain some normalcy. But everything felt like it was spinning and the only point that could keep her still was this enormous man holding tightly to her.
Maya felt her body sway from side to side as he held her firmly and moved her body gently with his. She tried to stifle the sob that rose in her throat but it was too late.
"Okay, come here," Paul said softly as he gently lifted her off her feet and set her down the edge of the bed. He dropped to his knees and kneeled between her legs, cupping her face in both of his warm hands. His thumb brushed a tear that raced down her cheek. "What's going on?" Paul said barely above a whisper. The pain evident in her face was leeching onto his.
"I just," Maya started pulling her face out of his hands. He dropped them to her thighs. Maya roughly pushed her palm against her cheek to dry her face, irritated with herself that she had ruined their first moment back home together with this. "Everything feels so different." She finally managed, not looking at him.
"What do you mean?" Paul offered. Maya took a minute, trying to compose herself but everything felt shaky again. She'd never felt this off kilter and for the first time ever she began to doubt herself and Chief Black's words came roaring back about purpose and her tribe. What was she doing?
"I just feel different...," Maya let out a huff, "I feel like so much has changed and I just feel...left behind. And I know that's so selfish of me to say—I left everything behind. Everyone," she raised her eyes and looked at Paul who was so close to her now. His eyes were glued to her every move, every breath.
"Baby, we're still the same old sweaty pack," an uneasy laugh escaped him, but he brought a hand up to push some hair behind her ear, "Nothing's changed. Not really. This is still your home...our home."
"Right," Maya laughed, "Just my best friend couldn't tell me she was sleeping with her imprint. That feels pretty huge. And my mom…" Maya stopped. She hadn't meant to go there, but the limited contact she had had with her mother these past few months had started to wear on her. She never thought it would go this long—that they would mend everything pretty quickly—but neither Maya nor her mother wanted to apologize while they still felt hurt and this had dragged out the distance between them. Maya would only receive cursory check-ins from her mother and when she called home, her father would answer and let her know that he'd relay everything to Rish.
And now that she was home, she felt that distance grow deeper in her and the wave of sadness came fresh again, crashing over her and pulling her down again. Paul pulled her into another hug. Maya tucked her face into the crook of his neck and squeezed her arms tight over his shoulders as she let herself cry. Paul's broad hands splayed across her back, one tucked under her sweatshirt and drawing soft circles on her lower back. His heat enveloped her and in this deep sadness Maya didn't know if she could do it anymore—if she could stay away from him for this long again and away from her home. And that feeling filled her with an overwhelming sense of failure that terrified her. But she wouldn't speak it out loud just yet.
"My, it's okay. I'm here," Paul soothed in her ear as he held onto her. And the sobs that had wracked her body slowly quieted after a few minutes as Maya felt she exhausted herself like a crying child. Her head lay limp on his shoulder now and as he let the silence sit comfortably between them, Maya used the back of her sleeve to rub the tears dry from her cheeks before sitting up and looking at him. A loving, sad look passed over Paul's face as he took in the no doubt puffy, red, swollen mess that was her face at this moment. "I'm sorry all of this shit is dumping down on you at once. But I'm happy you're home. And we can take it one day at a time. You can just relax and we can get Becks and Jacob over here when you're ready and figure all of this out. And your mom…" Maya sucked in a heavy breath and Paul begged her to stay calm with his eyes. "She'll come around. But you should try and talk to her. I know she misses you," he said that last part softly and Maya took a minute to take some deep breaths before she said in a hoarse voice,
"I know. I will."
"Good. How about we go grab some food and then just relax tonight. I know the pack is eager to see you and Emily organized that dinner this week so we can just be low key tonight." Paul promised rubbing his hands up and down her thighs slowly.
"Yeah, sure," Maya said and then she looked toward the bathroom, "Need to take a shower though." She rubbed her eyes with her sweatshirt covered hand and Paul stood up and crossed the room to turn on the shower for her.
Maya took another moment to steady herself before following him. He turned to her and automatically started to undress her and Maya was grateful for it considering that she felt so deflated after the intense day she'd had. As he slowly peeled off her sweatshirt and then the tank top underneath, he leaned down to press soft, warm kisses against her shoulder, trailing them up to her neck and just below her ear. Maya sprouted goosebumps across her body. He kneeled down to bring her shorts down and let his hands softly drift up her outer thigh before pressing another string of kisses across the line of her hips. Maya let her hands fall to tangle in his hair and held him there gently as he hooked his pointer fingers on either side of her panties and pulled them down her legs. She gingerly stepped out of them and as he rose to meet her, always towering a good six inches above her head, she couldn't help but give him a small smile.
Paul's thumb caressed the corner of her mouth as he looked down at her, all warmth and adoration pouring out of him. Maya still lost her breath every time he did that and when that wide smile broke out across his face, she felt that familiar, wanting, ache pulse between her thighs. Steam billowed up out of the shower as he leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"It's ready for you," he nodded over his shoulder. Maya stepped around him and into the shower letting the water run down over her shoulders and her front. Paul watched her for a minute, letting his eyes coast up and down the length of her body and she could see that hungry look in his eyes. "I'll be downstairs," he said in a controlled voice. She knew he was trying to give her some time after she'd just cried her eyes out, but Maya was done with being apart from him. Her arm shot out of the shower and grabbed his wrist.
"Come here please," she said as her eyelids drooped to a soft half-lidded look. Paul wasted no time getting out of his clothes and coming into the shower, pressing her naked body to his and lowering his lips to meet her mouth—anything to make her feel good and let her know that everything would be okay, that he'd take care of her. Maya collapsed into the feeling of him and when he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his midsection so he could slide inside of her with a groan so deep that she thought she'd come right then at the sound of him. Even if home felt far away from her, she knew connecting like this would always feel the same with him.
The next morning, after Paul left to meet up with Sam and Jared for morning rounds, Maya sipped her coffee and stared at her darkened phone deciding what to do. Becks had texted her a few times last night, but under Paul's request, she had left her phone on the kitchen counter so they could spend the evening together without distractions. Now, after reading her texts this morning, Maya felt that familiar dread weigh over her.
Becks: Maya, can we please just talk about this?
B: I know you're upset and I get that, but it was just too hard to tell you. You never liked the imprint and I just felt like...I don't know that you wanted me to treat my imprint with Jacob the same way you did with Paul or you'd be mad at me.
B: It sounds so stupid now that I type it out.
B: But I...I think I love him and I didn't know how to tell you. I wanted to. And Keye said I should have too. But I don't know, My I think I was just scared that you wouldn't be happy for me…
B: It's stupid. Just...call me when you're ready to talk.
Maya chewed on the inside of her cheek and reread the messages again, her hands hovering over the keys to type out a reply, to let her know everything was fine, that she wasn't mad, and that she was happy for her. But was she? Had she really changed so much in the few short months that she'd been off the rez that people thought she was so anti-imprint that she couldn't even be happy that her best friend was in love with her soulmate? Becks was right, it did sound stupid.
Maya closed the message to her and hastily typed out the text "You free?" to the only person she knew wouldn't bullshit her.
Maya climbed down from Paul's forerunner twenty minutes later in town just on the outskirts. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her black ripped skinny jeans that she wore with a burnt orange cropped top and a dark green flannel that she snagged from Paul's side of the closet. Her black doc martens squished the wet and muddy earth beneath her as she walked toward the newly renovated garage. She could see Jacob bent over a bike, his large hands workly deftly in between the small spaces. Maya knocked on one of the new windows that looked into the garage next to the wide opening as a formality. He could have probably heard her coming from a mile away anyway.
"Hey," Maya said gently, crossing her arms over her chest now. Her eyes scanned the interior of Jacob's modest garage. It was only big enough for two bays at this point, but they planned on expanding the opposite wall to hold two more bays in the future. She had to admit though, Paul and Jacob (and the whole pack she was sure) had done a lot of work in the short time before the winter weather was due to settle in. It was a functioning garage, albeit needing some refined touches and a fresh coat of paint. "Looks good in here," she said leaning against the opening of the garage. Jacob looked up and gave her that sunshine smile he was known for.
"I had a little help," he said as he glanced back down at the bike and wiped his hands with the cloth nearby. He pulled over one of the rolling chairs he used to sit and work in and offered it with an outstretched hand. Maya crossed the cold cement and plopped down shifting from side to side and biting her lip, not sure where to begin.
"Maya, I really am sorry about yesterday. That was completely my fault and I know Becks doesn't feel good about it either," Jacob said in a warm voice. Maya looked up at him now and gave him a reassuring smile.
"It's okay, Jake. I'm not mad," Maya let out a huff of air, "Surprised? Absolutely. But not mad."
"Really?" Jacob quirked an eyebrow at her and Maya rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Yes, really. Why does everyone think I'm going to freak out? I was just surprised. My best friend didn't tell me about her soul mate. We've told each other everything since we were 6, Jacob. I was caught off guard, okay?"
"Okay, okay. I believe you," Jacob said and she knew by the tone of his voice that he did.
"Soooo. Do you love her?" Maya said. Jacob let out a barking laugh.
"Wow, you really get right to the point huh?"
"I could say the same about you," she egged him on. Jacob smirked.
"Fair enough," Jacob twisted the rotating head of the socket wrench in his head and with a deep sigh he looked at Maya with such assuredness as he said, "Yes. I love her."
Maya stared at him, her heart stuttering to a stop momentarily as tears sprang to her eyes. He loved her and she had wanted nothing more in this world than to see Becks happy.
"Good," Maya said in an elated whisper. Jacob mirrored her face, a shining light of tears in his eyes now too before he grunted and shook his head.
"You know, after everything, I really never thought something like this would happen. And not just imprinting, I mean like love. I never thought I could love someone as much as...well," He paused and sniffed to try and clear his throat. "To be loved by someone like Becks is….I didn't know you could be loved like that. I guess I didn't know that love could feel like that."
"She's amazing," Maya commiserated and Jacob hiccuped another laugh in agreement.
"She really is," Jacob looked at Maya directly now, "Paul's helping me with blueprints for a house. I bought a piece of land across from the river. But I promise you, I won't let her down. I won't disappear again. There's nothing for me out there anymore without her, you know?" he said, determined. And Maya believed him, even if she did so hesitantly. There was still so much she didn't know about why he had left, why he had stayed away, and then why he finally came back. But she believed him.
"I know you'll take care of her. I just wanted...to know," Maya said with a sigh.
"And now you know," Jacob concluded. "Now, speaking of imprints. Becks told me you're a glutton for driving Paul crazy. So how about we take these bikes out for a test drive to make sure they're running smoothly?" He grinned that megawatt smile and Maya couldn't help but laugh springing up out of her seat.
"Sure!" she said excitedly, "I haven't ridden one of these in a few years though. Dad taught me when I was 14 but after my last near death experience, I promised my mom I would stay off of them."
"Parents," Jacob bemoaned and with another smirk, he handed her a helmet which she gladly took.
Riding with Jacob down the back streets and more well maintained paths throughout the rez was exhilarating. And even as the cool autumn wind whipped around her, almost freezing her to death, she finally felt like she was home. Jacob crowed beside her as they careened down the winding mountain road that overlooked the ocean. They rode around the reservation and through the town of Forks and up to Clallam Bay where they stopped for some fish fry and gas before heading back.
When they pulled up to the garage around 1 that afternoon, Maya was unsurprised to see Paul standing in front of the garage, leaning against the closed door with his arms crossed over his chest. Jacob and Maya dismounted and walked the short distance to the garage. Her cheeks were tinged bright red and the smile that shone from her face melted Paul's stern demeanor as she approached.
"Hey man, didn't know you'd be stopping by," Jacob said nonchalantly, very much aware that Paul would probably want to bite his head off for this too. Paul nodded as Jacob unlocked and pulled up the garage door so Maya could park the bike inside. Once she had it propped up, she turned to see Paul watching her from the doorway and she skipped over, all smiles. He brought his hot hands to her cold cheeks and leaned down to kiss her warmly. Maya shivered at the welcomed heat.
"Go easy on him." she said sweetly as she ran both of her hands down his chest covered only in a light t-shirt. The side of his mouth quirked into a brief smile before he nodded off behind him.
"Go wait in the car and warm up." He kissed her again, glad to feel that she was buzzing with excitement, her cloudy demeanor having evaporated now.
"Bye Jake!" she called over her shoulder as she skipped off toward the forerunner. Jacob waved and turned his gaze uncertainly to Paul now.
"Taking imprints on joy rides now?" Paul said. His tone wasn't angry or annoyed, but more so filled with surprise. He didn't think he'd find Maya with Jacob of all people today. But when Seth had let him know when he phased that they were riding up through Forks and out of town, he couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved.
"Ah, yeah. She just needed to get out so I took her for a ride up to Clallum Bay. She wanted to talk about the whole Becks situation," Jacob offered.
"And? Did you talk?" Paul probed, still unsure. Jacob never really made sense to him, not when he joined the pack and less even now. He was unpredictable, kind of like Maya, but at least with Maya he had a fighting chance to get her to keep him clued in. Jacob was still a closed book. He could drop in and out of the pack mind whenever he wanted and his reasons for leaving in the first place still set Paul on edge. And while he felt comfortable in the fact that he knew Maya would be safe with him if any trouble arose, he still wasn't sure how reliable he was as a member of this pack. Let alone what Sam had suggested to him this morning on rounds.
"We did. She said she's happy for us, so, problem solved. You're welcome," Jacob busied himself with organizing his tools at his workbench and Paul watched him carefully.
"Have you thought anymore about what your dad asked?" Jacob tensed at Paul's question and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck bristle—a warning.
"Nope," he said simply.
"Well, now Sam is asking," Paul answered sternly. Jacob's eyes snapped up to him.
"Sam too?" He shook his head almost in disgust, "You guys really put too much faith in me." He let out a frustrated laugh.
"Think about it. That's all he's asking," Paul continued.
"What's there to think about?"
"Your birthright," Paul said more forcefully. "I was never meant for this job and frankly, I'm not interested in doing it much longer now that you're here. It's unfair to hold Sam to it now that Emily is pregnant again and he's tired."
"My birthright? God, Paul give it a rest. Are you and Maya trying to have kids now or something?" he shot back.
Paul glared at him from his place by the door and didn't answer him. Jacob grimaced and looked down at the bike.
"Anything else?" Jacob asked. Paul could tell he was angry.
"No. Thanks for hanging with Maya today," Paul turned on his heel and walked toward the car, trying to calm the tremors running through him before he got to the car so he could coast Maya through on her good mood.
When he popped open the driver side door, Maya was on the phone with someone, and from the faint, high-pitched voice he could pick up on the other end, he had an idea of who it was.
"Yeah, no, that sounds good. Okay I'll text you a time. Bye!" Maya hung up the phone and looked over at Paul. "Were you nice?" She teased.
"For the record, I'm always nice," he said back with an equally teasing smile. Maya scoffed playfully and looked out the passenger window as they pulled back onto the main road home.
"When you're in your human form maybe," she retorted. When he let out an incredulous laugh she turned to look at him again, "Oh don't play me, Lahote. I've heard the horror stories from your brothers. And I thought you were bossy with me. But I apparently had no idea."
"Yeah, yeah, it's all fun and family until I'm responsible for keeping a bunch of distracted idiots alive," he returned with a grin. "Who was on the phone?"
"Sadie," Maya was going through her text messages now, "She wants to see if we want to go on a double date with her and Seth tonight but I told her I'd check in with you and see how you were feeling."
"Oh," Paul said, his eyes lit up with the possibility of taking Maya on a proper date. He was also taken off guard by her considering his feelings on it, but maybe he shouldn't have been surprised. Paul had never really had a woman looking out for him before—even his relationship with Rachel was strictly physical for the most part and they rarely went on dates. "A double date sounds good. Seth could probably use a break from pack drama anyhow," Paul sighed.
"What do you mean?" Maya asked, one eyebrow arched curiously.
"He's mostly the go-between for me and Sam to Jacob since Jacob willingly bows out of the pack mind whenever he wants to. And lately things have been….tense," Paul edged looking out over the terrain.
"Because of Becks?" Maya asked, confused. Paul glanced at her and shook his head.
"No, everyone is excited about that. We all love Becks. It's just this alpha stuff with Jacob is not going well," Paul continued. "His father asked him to consider taking the pack over from Sam and by proxy, me, and he's been pretty resistant to the whole thing. Seth's been trying to talk to him about it, but Jacob can be kind of stubborn," Paul threw a knowing smile her way.
Maya focused her gaze on Paul and got lost in thought for a moment before saying, "Jacob doesn't want to be alpha?"
"No. To be fair he never has, but it's more about what he needs to do now for the pack, versus what he wants. Plus, I'd like a break if I'm being honest. I want to spend more time with you and start our life and that's hard to do with everything, you know?" Paul felt like he was unloading some massive secret on her and he worried about the weight of it, but she didn't seem deterred from the conversation.
"Right," Maya said, her face screwed up in concentration as she worked the problem. Paul knew that she wouldn't oversimplify things into needs versus wants. He could only imagine that she was considering how this would affect Becks and Jacob long-term and how she'd feel if someone told her the needs of her tribe came before her desires for herself. She knew that feeling all too well.
"So date night?" Paul asked, trying to pull Maya out of her reverie. She turned her face and smiled at him.
"Date night," Maya confirmed, beaming with the possibility of having a real date for once.
Sadie and Maya decided on keeping it casual and they opted for a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served tacos in Forks. But even if they kept it casual, Maya felt like dressing up for Paul, so she donned a dark green miniskirt that she paired with a fitted black long sleeve shirt that dipped in a sweet heart neckline. She paired it with her knee high black suede heeled boots that gave her a couple extra inches of height and curled her hair in thick billowing waves. Paul pulled on a black t-shirt over his dark wash jeans as he walked into their bathroom as Maya finished patting on some coppery eyeshadow and some red tinted lip gloss.
"Hey," she said softly as he came up behind her and lowered his face to kiss her exposed shoulder. Maya reached behind her to put her hand on the back of his head, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "This is getting long. I like it," she said.
"Mmm," he hummed into her neck as he pressed his blazing lips to her skin. His hand wrapped around her waist and splayed against her stomach as he pulled her back flush against his chest. Maya let out a contented sigh as she watched them in the mirror, his face buried in the crook of her neck as soft sounds involuntarily escaped her lips from the thrill his hands gave her.
"I'm happy you're home," he murmured just below her ear between his volley of kisses. Maya smiled and let out a gentle laugh.
"Me too, I missed this," she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against his shoulder as he continued.
"Feeling better?" he asked lifting his head to look at her in the mirror now. She met his gaze and through half-lidded eyes and a pleased smile, she said,
"Getting there."
"Let's go," he said, kissing the side top of her head and dropping his hand to thread with hers, pulling her out of the bathroom and down the staircase.
Now tucked into his side at the taco shop with Sadie and Seth across from them in the booth, Maya felt like herself again. She took another bite of her taco as Paul laughed in a way that made his whole body shake next to her and she couldn't help but laugh too as Seth threw his hands up in the air and looked at Sadie with a look of shock and amusement.
"We have to invite your family and that includes your brothers, are you crazy?!" Sadie retorted as she took a sip of her margarita.
"Do you understand how much they'll eat?! That alone is going to cost us over half of the budget. Plus, they can just catch the highlights later on rounds," Seth teased. He'd never not invite his brothers to his wedding but he was having fun poking at Sadie with his absurd requests. "Let's just get married on that cool rock I showed you last weekend. February isn't that cold if you're high enough above the water."
Sadie looked at him wide eyed and then slowly brought her gaze to Maya who was trying to hold in her laughter.
"He's right. It's at least 10 degrees warmer up on the cliffs. Maybe," Paul supplied.
"What's the guest list at now?" Maya asked curiously trying to bring the conversation back on the rails that Seth was so bent on derailing for the sake of fun.
"Uuuh, like 127 I think?" Sadie said, relief coming back to her voice and happy that a real question was being asked. "That's if my extended family makes the trip out here from Vancouver and if Leah comes."
Seth tensed up at this and was suddenly engrossed in his plate of tacos. Maya glanced from Sadie to Seth worriedly and then she heard Paul say gently next to her.
"Is Leah coming?" When there was silence for a beat, he probed, "Seth?"
Seth's face shot up and he looked at Paul as if he hadn't quite understood the question, as if a teacher had called on him and he wasn't ready with an answer.
"I don't know," he finally murmured, that playful look in his eyes evaporating.
Maya had never met Leah, but her reputation was well known amongst the pack. She had disappeared around the same time Jacob had and Paul said every now and then she would visit the rez but stay in wolf form. It helped her to keep her distance and not feel like she was obligated to do anything. They tried to respect her need to stay away, but from how Paul described it, she had left a considerable hole in their pack. Like Jacob, she had been able to disconnect from the pack mind and wanted to keep it that way—no one could blame her considering her history, but still, it hurt every time someone mentioned her name or saw that lingering look in Seth's eyes as he looked out over the cliffs and thought about his sister.
Sadie had put her hand on Seth's arm and he had turned his head to lean down and kiss it, trying to shake off the gloom that settled around the table now. Paul watched with a stern look on his face—a big brother wanted to protect his little brother—and tugged Maya closer to him for reassurance. Loss was one of the strongest emotions that reverberated through the pack mind unfortunately and any hint of it had Paul heading for the hills usually. But now that he had Maya, his anchor, his singular point on the map, he felt steady even with the onslaught of emotions that the pack mind buried him in.
"She'll come," Sadie said softly.
"Yeah, she will," Paul echoed. Even if he had to find her himself, he'd make sure Leah was at Seth's wedding.
Sadie steered the conversation to more lighthearted topics about how Maya was liking Columbia, how Paul's work was going, and what their plans for Christmas were. They even ventured onto the topic of Jacob and Becks.
"Ten bucks says he asks her to marry him," Seth joked.
"What?!" Maya said surprised.
"Oh, I'll take you up on that," Sadie replied, "Except, I'd wager he's more likely to knock her up. Those two are kind of disgusting to watch."
"WHAT?!" Maya said, turning her panicked eyes to Paul.
"Relax," Paul said with a laugh, "He is pretty into her. He's determined to have that house done by next summer so who knows what he has planned." Maya's mouth hung open in amused shock, "You're happy for them, remember?" Paul offered as he poked her in the ribs.
"I am!" Maya said as he looked back over to Sadie and Seth who were still talking about the plausibility of having two weddings in one year, theirs and Jacob and Becks'.
"What about you two?" Seth said between a mouthful of tacos.
"Huh?" Maya offered, thrown off by the line of questioning.
"Yeah, when are you two getting married? By pack standards, your relationship is ancient as boyfriend and girlfriend," Sadie laughed. Maya shot her gaze to Paul who looked unrushed, unworried, and unfazed.
"I mean...I—" Maya faltered, trying to formulate an answer. She worried that Paul was expecting her to answer since it was probably Maya who would be the one that would hold their relationship back if he even asked right now. But he surprised her,
"We'll do it when we're ready. It's not a race, contrary to what you all seem to think," he said the last part with sarcasm and glanced at Maya, "When we're both ready, right?" Maya gave him a soft smile and nodded.
"Yeah, we're in no rush," she answered. "But I'm not opposed obviously," she added.
"And kids?" Sadie asked nonchalantly.
"Of course. Who wouldn't want to have kids with this guy?" Maya laughed and looked at Paul. His eyes were shining with promise and something she had never seen before, a type of excitement that she couldn't quite understand.
Paul squeezed her thigh under the table and Maya watched his face carefully. That look of excitement sparked something in her belly that made her ache and set her nerve endings on fire. It was like her body was waiting for a cue and Paul had supplied it and now all she could do was react. Sadie and Seth were going on about more wedding preparations when Maya excused herself to the restroom to cool off.
Now, standing in front of the mirror in the single room bathroom she patted a cold, dampened hand on the back of her neck. She took a few deep breaths to steady the neediness creeping between her thighs before she unlocked the door and pulled it open. But just as she did, she was lifted and carried back over it's threshold. Paul shut and locked the door behind him and before she could even gasp out his name, his lips were on hers, his hands pawing underneath her skirt and walking her backwards toward the sink. He'd already slipped two deft fingers into her wet center as his other hand held onto the side of her neck, his tongue running soft circles in her mouth. Maya let a small moan escape her and that snapped him back. His eyes were on her, hungry as he gave her that mischievous smile that made her heart flip.
He removed his two fingers and turned her so that she was facing the mirror, her hands braced on either side of the sink. Maya had barely opened her eyes before she felt his leg push between both of hers, kicking them open and bending her slightly over the sink.
"All that stuff about marrying you and thinking about you having my babies," he huffed as he undid his jeans and rubbed up against her core causing her to whimper, "Drives me nuts." He said. Maya gave him a teasing smile and as he pushed into her from behind, she let out a too loud moan that caused him to pull her up against his chest. He brought his lips to her ear and said in a heady whisper, "I can't fucking wait, My." He promised.
As he rutted into her, his other hand dipped under her skirt and worked at the sensitive bundle of nerves causing Maya to careen into that dark pocket of pleasure he knew so well. When she opened her eyes, she saw that he was watching her, hungry, determined, and possessive and Maya shuddered and mewed his name. Paul sped up as he watched Maya in the mirror, her moans and gaze egging him on. As he finished inside of her, Maya collapsed forward onto the sink, not realizing how loud they probably were. He looped his forearm around her middle and pulled her up to him so that he could kiss the side of her face.
"I love you, My," he said softly. Maya hummed in happiness as she tried to catch her breath.
"I love you," she breathed and he rubbed along her hip and as he watched them in the mirror. "You think they heard us?" she asked. This caused Paul to start laughing that whole body laugh with a smile that made her light up.
"Oh yeah," he said between laughs.
"Fuck," she said half heartedly. If she was being honest, she didn't really care. Her love for Paul knew no bounds at this point and she was going to revel in every moment with him while she was still here and felt most like herself.