Azula was back at the madras in front of the fire place in the little house. Vaguely did she remember crying until exhaustion had simply over taken her and she could barely stay conscious.
She thought that maybe Noren had carried her back while Ursa had kept a hand on her head. Refusing to let go.
Only as Azula had been tugged in on her madras, and received a gentle kiss had Ursa and Noren retrieved to the back of the room where she could hear the whispers.
"She needs a room." Ursa stated firmly. "Where she can rest and be on her own when she needs it."
"Maybe if Kiyi slept with us for the time being. She can use Kiyis room." Noren commented. "Until we figure something out. How to add an extra room."
Azula frowned deeply… It sounded like she was being prioritized over their actual daughter. That didn't make any sense.
"That's a good idea." Ursa replied. "Noren… Ikem… I."
"I think it's easier if we just stick to Noren." Noren smiled amused.
"Thank you for going along with all of this." Ursa whispered.
"Look." Noren said seriously. "She's your daughter. You're my wife. So she's my daughter to. You're a package deal and I am not going to make this even more difficult for you." he said holding her hand. "We managed to get through so much. We'll get through this too." he said and Ursa smiled warmly.
"Thank you." She whispered as she kissed her husband deeply and Azula closed her eyes wanting to escape the display. Which was easy enough as exhaustion just overwhelmed her and took her away.
The next few days went in an odd haze. Azula truly enough was given Kiyis room… And Kiyi was asking questions about the strange woman who had come to live with them.
Finally. After Noren had instructed Kiyi to close her eyes and allow Ursa to tell stories the way she used to, while brushing Kiyis hair the way she used to. All the while Kiyi never opened her eyes. The little girl finally realized what was going on and embraced her mother with tears in her eyes.
Some people had come to visit and had obviously been confused by Norikos new look. And Noren could only assure all of them that yes. This still was Noriko. The spirits of the forgetful valley had merely changed her face.
It was obviously weird to people but soon enough they accepted.
Then one day as Azula was sitting in her room. It gently knocked on the door… It was Ursa. She always knocked softly like that.
"Yeah." Azula said in a hollow voice and Ursa stepped in with a scroll in her hand.
"I hope i'm not disturbing." Ursa said and Azula shrugged. "I'm sorry I forgot about this. I found it in the living room." she offered Azula the scroll, slightly zinged at the edges… Azulas version of Love Among dragons.
Emptily did Azula look at it.
"You never even finished it." Ursa commented. "Such a shame. I would still really like to see it."
"It was stupid. Just throw it away." Azula muttered as she turned her head away.
Ursa sighed. "I'm just going to lay it here then." she said as she put it on the table.
Azula kept refusing to look at Ursa and Ursa hesitated. "Darling. Are you okay?" she asked concerned as she sat down on a chair.
Azula turned her head even further away. Refusing to talk.
"Is there something I can do?" Ursa asked.
Azula hissed. "You're going to go see him. Aren't you?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" Ursa asked.
At that Azula held up a hand holding a newspaper. Holding it towards Ursa. "I found your stash in your bed room." she said bitterly. "You have been saving every single article about Zuko."
"Oh." Ursa blinked then sighed as she reached out and took the newspaper from Azula, before gently folding it together. "Yes. I suppose I can't deny that."
"So when are you leaving then?" Azula asked.
"I'm not leaving. I'm staying here." Ursa informed and Azulas eyes widened then she turned to Ursa.
"Why?" Azula asked baffled.
"Because Azula." Ursa smiled a little sadly. "Zuko seems to be doing all right. You're the one who needs me. I'm not going to leave you." she said.
Confused and wide-eyed Azula looked at Ursa. Clearly things weren't adding up in her head.
"I want to see him. So very much." Ursa admitted. "But he doesn't need me around."
Slowly Azula turned her head away and looked down at her knees.
"So what happened to your play?" Ursa asked. "I really meant it. I wanted to see it."
"That's not going to happen." Azula looked away. "The girls they… They don't want anything to do with me anymore."
"Oh." Ursa halted. "What happened? Did you have a fight?"
"Yeah…" Azula muttered. "And… I hit Mai-Lin."
"Azula." Ursa sighed in that familiar disappointed tone that made Azula cringe on the inside.
"So you see." Azula swallowed. Tears forming in her eyes. "It's not going to happen."
Ursa hesitated a bit as she chewed on her lip. "Have you tried to apologize?" she asked.
"What?" Azula asked. "I can't do that! That's a sign of weakness!"
"It's really not." Ursa said. "It takes a very strong person to be able to admit when they were wrong." she said. "It's not weakness. It's strength."
"That's not how father would see it." Azula commented dryly.
"Azula… I have to be honest with you." Ursa said. "Your father is an awful man." she said. "And the things he always tried to teach you two. Simply awful. You should not listen to him!" she swallowed. "You don't need to. You can be so much better than that. I know you can." she gently touched her face and moved it towards her own. "You're my beautiful daughter."
Azula looked up at Ursa and then she looked down.
Then Ursa let go of Azulas face as she sighed. "Since when have my daughter let anything stop her anyway?" she asked.
Azulas lip twitched a bit.
"You were always able to do what-ever you set your mind to." Ursa said. "You can apologize too. I'm sure of it."
"What for though?" Azula asked. "It's not like they will forgive me. I'll just look foolish for no reason!"
"You don't know that Azula."
Azula squinted her eyes.
"Try it." Ursa said. "People might surprise you." she finished. Then Ursa leaned over and kissed Azula on the hair, before standing up and walking out.
Leaving Azula who looked at the scroll on the table and she swallowed.
Azula honestly couldn't believe she was doing this. She felt stupid all ready! And utterly foolish! She eyed the three girls standing around the bushs. Giggling as they practiced lines… They hadn't seen Azula yet and Azula swallowed as she clutched the scroll in her hands.
This was so stupid… So humiliating. Why should a princess ever lower herself to this? It was so beneath her!
Then Azula looked up and saw how honestly they laughed. And she felt the jalousie rise up in her, the longing… She had been part of that group for a day. And she wanted back in. She couldn't deny it.
Maybe she should just go and demand it! Force them to be her friends… No… No that wouldn't work.
Things had been better when they weren't afraid of her. It had been… Fun… And if Azula made them afraid she would spend the rest of her life trying to re-create that day and it wouldn't work. She had to… She had to.
And finally Azula inhaled a deep breath as she stepped forward.
Mai-Lin noticed her first as she looked up and gasped. That got Makotos attention and as soon as she saw Azula she stepped in front of the other two girls acting like a shield. "What do you want?" she asked in a hostile tone.
It felt like a bolt of lightning going through Azulas spine as she stood. Normally she would have smothered anyone who dared to stand in her way like that.
But she couldn't… It wouldn't solve her problems.
"I… Erhm." Azula swallowed. "I came to." she had to suck in a deep breath. Just get it over with! She had to say it. "I came to apologize to you low life scum!" she exclaimed.
The girls all froze. Then Makoto lifted an eyebrow. Clearly not impressed.
Azula squinted her eyes. "That's not how I meant it. It came out wrong." she pouted looking away.
There was silence. Awkward silence and Azula felt the scroll in her hands as she swallowed.
"I…" Azula turned to them. "I'm sorry." she finally said and their eyes widened. "I'm not used to dealing with… people." she admitted. "And I don't really know how to..." Azula swallowed. "My childhood hasn't exactly been what you would call… Normal. I don't really know what normal is." she admitted as she glanced up. "But…. I think I want to learn." she said. "And… If you would give me another chance. Can we do the play?" she asked.
Makoto lifted an eyebrow. "That was a bit of a half assed apology." she said. "At least you need to apologize to Mai-Lin! Say that you're sorry that you hit her!"
Azula hissed annoyed. But then looked at Mai-Lin who was looking at her with frightened wide-eyed eyes.
"I… I…" Azula tried. Struggling to get it over her lips. "I'm sorry that I hit you. Mai-Lin." she said.
Mai-Lin gasped and then she swallowed. "It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry that I said our play wasn't a real play. You were right to be mad. Clearly you actually care about this."
And it was like Azula just deflated. She had never felt such a sensation before. Just the pure relief washing all over her body and a bit of hope as she looked up. Then her body started to shake, she couldn't even control it. How her own eyes grew wet. "I... I really am sorry." Azula sniffed, honestly surprised how sincere she was. "I... I hurt people. I know I do... I don't want to. But I don't know how else to... To do things." she wiped her eyes.
"Zara..." Mai-Lin breathed.
"Okay." Makoto finally said. "Another chance." she said. "But there are rules! You can't hit anyone. Is that clear?" she asked.
Azula nodded as tears dripped down her face.
"We don't hurt each other in any way!" Makoto said firmly. "That's not what friends do! Yes sometimes we have fights and we shout at each other. Sometimes we are mad at each other but we don't hurt each other. And we don't accuse each other of betrayal! We try to figure out what is actually going on!"
Slowly Azula nodded. "Okay… I… I'll try." she looked down. "I might not be able to. I'm…" she closed her eyes. "Broken." and she just stood there, her shoulders shaking as Azula gasped for breaths between her smaller sobs.
The girls silenced and then Mai-Lin stepped forward. "Hey." she tried. "This war has really messed people up in so many ways."
Azula chewed bit together as she nodded with squinted eyes
"You… Seen the war?" Raiku asked.
"I was on the front lines." Azula admitted. Then sniffed as she looked up. "I'm a soldier."
They all blinked.
"Aren't you a little young to be a soldier?" Raiku asked.
"Not for someone in the royal family." Azula stated grimly. "We were trained to fight and command since we were toddlers."
The three girls all gaped.
"Are you saying." Makoto blinked. "You were serious? You're telling us that you're princess Azula?"
There was stunned quiet.
Azula glanced away. Then she glanced up at them. "I think I have grown rather fond of the name Zara." she said. "Zara is fine."
"Oh… Okay." Makoto said.
"But." Mai-Lin halted. "If you're the Princess. Don't you want to go back to the palace?" she asked. "Fire Lord Zuko has given you a full pardon. You can go back at any time."
"And be subjected to his pity all day?" Azula asked then shook her head. "I don't really want to go back." she admitted. "I want to put up a play."
The three girls blinked, they glanced at each other then finally they all smiled.
"Putting up a play sounds fun." Raiku stated and the other nodded.
"How about we go celebrating with some sticky buns?" Mai-Lin asked as she took Azulas hand. Holding it in her own making Azulas eyes widen and Mai-Lin smiled at her.
"That sounds… Good." Azula finally said and Mai-Lin grinned all over her face and they all started to walk.
"You know what." Makoto commented. "I do like your version better!" she said. "I mean why didn't the dragon empress ever pick up a sword herself? She's a flipping dragon!"
"I know right." Azula grinned, while tears still fell down her cheeks. "I mean if I couldn't defend myself. My father would have had me killed!"
"What?!"
Azula halted as all had frozen wide-eyed looking at her.
"That wasn't even a joke was it?" Makoto asked.
"No. It wasn't." Azula said.
"Girl." Makoto sighed. "No wonder you're confused! Okay so lessons in how normal people are supposed to act starts today."
"I accept your challenge." Azula nodded courtly and Makoto smirked.
"I'll be looking forward to it!" She simply said as all four girls kept walking, talking and laughing.
Everyone still had a long road ahead of them yet. But at least. They were on the right track.