In the late afternoon Ursa was slowly moving through the garden with the turtleduck pond, she glanced around and couldn't help the feeling of dread coming over her.

It was like being back in time and Ozai would be looming in the shadows… Yet. Even back then. This garden had been a safe place in her hellish existence.

Ozai didn't care for this garden, he didn't like being out here. So here Ursa could sit with her children while feeding the turtleducks or listening to the birds singing.

Ursa breathed in a deep breath as she reminded herself again. Those days were over. Ozai was gone. This place had changed.

And only a few hours ago Ursa had seen her youngest daughter be introduced to a young dragon and a massive bison. And of course the girl had started climbing the both of them while the animals didn't seem to mind at all.

And then Zuko had joined her too, showing how you can sit on Appas head and he had helped her down again making sure his sister wouldn't be hurt.

It was so cute… Zuko and Kiyi. They were so cute.

Still weird to think about that Zuko… Was basically an adult. Far more mature than most people could even hope to become.

So different from that little boy she had left behind…

Carefully an older man of short stature approached. Then kindly tried to address Ursa. "Ursa." he tried.

And Ursa turned around to smile kindly at the man. "Iroh." she greeted him.

"Is everything quite all right?" Iroh asked concerned.

"Yes I just…. So many memories." Ursa whispered. "Few of them good." she glanced down. "And Zuko… I lost so much. I wasn't there to see him grow or become the man he is now. I wasn't there for Azula when she was alone and needed me… I wasn't… There."

"Ah." Iroh realized. "But you are here now. You've been there for Azula. Isn't that so?" he asked.

"I tried to be." Ursa smiled lightly.

"How is she?" Iroh asked.

"Better. A lot better." Ursa smiled lightly. "She was… I don't even know. The state she was in when I found her." the legs seemed to give in under Ursa and she sat down on one of the stones. "So much pain…" she swallowed. "I hope I was able to help her… I think I did. I don't know."

"It's hard." Iroh agreed as he sat down on the grass in front of Ursa crossing his legs. "Seeing a child in pain. And you want so badly to help them… Take the pain away from them. But you can't… They must be ready first."

Ursa glanced up. "Zuko…" she swallowed. "Was he." she couldn't even finish it.

"He was in deep pain." Iroh admitted. "I did my best but… It wasn't always much I could do."

"Thank you." Ursa whispered. "You still helped him."

"I…" Iroh tried. "No… All that pain. It's my fault." he said. "And I owe you a great apology."

"Your fault?" Ursa asked.

"Had I not orchestrated the siege of Ba Sing Se…. Things would have been much different." Iroh sighed. "Lu Ten might have been alive…. Had I not abandoned the siege without a word and left for an additional year. Ozai would not have had his opening to take the throne for himself… Zukos life would not have been in danger in the first place. I neglected my responsibility… And Zuko and Azula were the ones to pay the price. And you." Iroh looked up at Ursa. "And then… I allowed Zuko inside of the war meeting where Ozai found his opening to finally banish him. I was the one letting him inside. Not just that… I didn't stop Zuko from participating in the Agni Kai… I didn't know what Ozai intended to do but even so. I didn't stop it… I didn't step up or shout. I didn't do anything. So many times I failed my responsibility and Zuko paid the price for it. I can only feel so very lucky that… He is such a resilient young man. Less people would have broken facing only a third of what he did."

Ursa was stunned quiet.

"I left with Zuko and left Azula behind…. I'm sorry." Iroh whispered. "You entrusted me with keeping your children safe. And I failed."

"No…. You didn't." Ursa said. "When-ever Zuko talks about you he is praising you to the skies." she smiled lightly. "And Zuko said that… He's glad he got banished. He erhm… he said it made him the person he is today and he wouldn't want it to be any different." she looked down. "I hate he had to go through so much but…" she swallowed. "He seems all right now. And I suppose that's what's important right?" she asked as she looked up. "And he didn't become like Ozai… I was afraid of that. So I guess the banishment was erh…" she swallowed. "It helped him become who he is."

Iroh nodded thoughtfully. "That is partially true." he agreed. "There is no telling what kind of person Zuko would have been if things had been different." he had to admit. "But…. He was always a very kind and sensitive boy." he smiled fondly. "He has your soul… Lady Ursa. Always had."

Ursa looked up, then couldn't help but smile a little embarrassed. Then swallowed. "I… I killed your father." she whispered. "And gave Ozai a way to get the throne while you were gone… I… I don't think there is any way to ask your forgiveness."

"You were a mother protecting her child." Iroh said. "There is nothing to forgive. That Azulon would even ask such a thing is." he closed his eyes. "It's unforgivable. He had just lost a grandson and then asked for the demise of another. What was he thinking?" he asked as he looked up.

"I don't know…" Ursa swallowed. "That it would teach Ozai a lesson about respect I suppose but… It was a miscalculation."

"Ozai never even cared about Zuko in the first place…" Iroh sighed deeply.

Ursas head lowered as she lifted her hand, to lightly touch the collar of her dress, fiddling with it.

"I can't say I understand that either." Iroh admitted. "I still remember the very first time I held Lu Ten. And there was a child in my hands. A life which I helped bring into this world. All new and innocent, and curious to discover the world. And it was my job to protect him… That innocent child in my arms." he sighed deeply.

"I understand." Ursa whispered as she started to fiddle with her long hair. "There was a life growing inside of me… A human life! And… I brought this life into our world. Into this place… And he was so small. And he needed my help to live! My job was to protect him! And then a girl, a girl I brought here as well." she closed her eyes.

"The world is richer for all three of your children." Iroh spoke warmly. "Zuko is inspiring people to build a new future. I heard of Azulas writing, she's making things! It will be sure to inspire many people too. And Kiyi is just adorable. You must be very proud."

"I am." Ursa nodded. "I am not sure I have any right to be though."

"You do." Iroh assured. "They are all here. They are all alive and well because of you. You saved Zukos life. Then you saved Azulas. Of that I have no doubt. And now they are doing well for themselves and making this world a better place. You have all the reasons to be proud."

Ursa smiled lightly then she swallowed. "I'm sorry about Lu Ten." she whispered. "I know it's long ago now but… He was such a sweet boy. Always very kind to me." then she chuckled. "I remember when I first got here… He would come up to me and call me pretty lady. It made me smile... For the first time since I came to the palace. I didn't know if I would ever be able to smile again. But really... He made me smile." she sighed softly. "And then when I got pregnant. Lu Ten was so excited! He said he wanted to be a big brother and couldn't wait until he could teach the new one all he knew."

At that Iroh beamed happily. "Thank you so much for telling me." he said sincerely. "It is good to hear that… He meant something." he said then swallowed. "Sorry." he asked.

"It's all right." Ursa said. "Yes… He did." she whispered. "He.. Because of him I didn't kill myself… Before I got pregnant with Zuko."

Iroh looked up at Ursa which shocked, horriefied eyes as Ursa swallowed.

"I was locked inside of the palace." Ursa whispered. "I wasn't allowed to contact my family or send any letters. Ozai had made it clear to me I was never going to see any of them ever again… It was just him and me. I knew I was never going to escape or see anything else again so I…" she swallowed. "I knew how to make this poison. All I would have to do would be to drink it, go to sleep and never wake up again… I made the poison."

Iroh was quiet.

"And then Lu Ten came and wanted to show me the turtle ducks." Ursa smirked while her eyes watered and her face was clearly struggling figuring out if it should smile or cry. "And he talked about how much he looked forward for me to be there at the next palace Party and I just… I didn't have it in me to disappoint him." she said. "And then shortly after I got pregnant with Zuko. And I could no longer do it… It wasn't just my own life at stake anymore."

Iroh inhaled a breath.

"If not for him." Ursa swallowed. "I think I would have done it… I would never have become pregnant with Zuko in the first place. I would have drunk my own poison that night…. So yes. Lu Ten matters." she said. "He truly matters."

Iroh gasped for a shaking breath. Then had to wipe his eyes again. "I am… Sorry you had to go through that kind of pain." he whispered. "But… It does me good to know. Just how much he mattered."

"Please don't tell Zuko what I just said." Ursa asked. "He doesn't have to know what I almost did."

"Your secret is safe with me." Iroh assured. "And I will not tell Noren, Azula or Kiyi either. They don't have to know."

"Thank you." Ursa whispered.

"It is clear you are much happier now than back then." Iroh smiled lightly. "So I sincerely doubt I will have anything to worry about."

"No… You don't." Ursa assured. "I'm happy now." she smiled lightly. "I love my husband and my children. And I am very happy that I am alive now."

"That's good." Iroh nodded. "Then I'm happy too." he smiled lightly and Ursa smiled in return.