Ella's brain didn't want to process the situation like a normal human being. Any normal person would understand wanting to run away from an evil creature attacking their location. But Ella? Her depression and anxiety took her emotions and toyed with them. Her brain told her Adrien ran away because of her. It whispered in her ears, that Adrien couldn't stand to be around her. That he already had to deal with her panic attack earlier, he saw how weak she is... who would wanna stick around for that?
When one has an abusive father who lied and manipulated them their entire life, hurting not just them but their mother as well, who covered for the abuser that snowy day... and then left via taking her own life after promising to get them out...
Ella bit her trembling lip hard enough to draw blood. Her ears were filled with static, not letting any of the questions from Ladybug or Cat in. Shaking from trying to hold everything in, Ella stood, hastily shoving her books in her bag. She could feel Kiismet gripping at her finger, trying to soothe her.. but her emotions were too far gone for that.
Ella pushed past the heroes, ignoring their calls, running out of the library and the school. She didn't know where to go, she just wanted to run.
Cat felt his heart break, watching Ella run away. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes, an outward expression of his pain. Ladybug moved her gaze from the retreating girl to her partner, shocked at the sight before her.
"Cat Noir..?"
The feline hero blinked and shook his head, reaching up to swipe the tears away.
"It's nothing. We should get going. If there was any indication, the villain's gonna be going after Chloé."
After running until her legs gave out, until her lungs burned beyond belief, Ella had collapsed somewhere near the Seine river. Kiismet fluttered around her head, worried beyond kwami comprehension as Ella panted and gasped for air on the bench, her forehead pressed against the hard wood.
"Elle please..! Talk to me! I can't help you if you won't tell me!" Kiismet pleaded. If the kwami could cry, she would be bawling.
"Everyone leaves me, Kiisy... that old man when I was four... mama abandoned me... Adrien left...!" Sobs erupted anew at the words, robbing Ella of the breath she tried to keep.
"I'll never leave you, you know that. And Adrien didn't go on purpose- he more than likely got evacuated when the attack started. Ella-bean, I know it's hard to believe but he will never leave you! I can swear on my title as a kwami!"
"Everyone leaves, Kiismet... I thought I was used to it..." Ella laid down on the bench, letting the tears flow freely as her eyes gazed unfocused up at the starry sky.
"I remember what mama said... that night... she told me when she left me, that I'd be fine all on my own. From her lips, she spoke one last goodbye. (hearts to anyone who recognizes these song lyrics!) For at least twelve years she fought to keep me safe from father- constantly promising she'd leave him! Then he would stop the pain, just for a little bit until mama fell for it... and he would start all over again..." Ella shifted her head to gaze at Kiismet.
"Kiisy? Do you remember when I was eight?"
Kiismet's face morphed into a grim frown, not wanting to really recall that memory...
- Kiismet wiped at the tears flowing down Ella's cheeks, trying to keep the child's sobs quiet. Through the apartment, screaming and crashes echoed, as Aurora and Damien fought. The woman was threatening to leave once again, swearing she'd tell the police everything and ruin his jewelry business and his life. Kiismet knew all the words were lies, despite all the wishing against Fate for a single thread of truth for the sake of the little girl the kwami swore she'd stay with.
"K-kiisy?" Ella's little voice cracked, drawing the kwami's attention back to her.
"Yes, Elly-bean?"
"You-you can see the-the future, r-right?" Kiismet nodded hesitantly.
"Can.. with your power, why can't I use it to change what's going on? I just want the pain to stop- I just want all this to stop...!" Ella sobbed, looking far older than the little eight year old she was.
"Ella, understand: you have this power but it is not meant to be used for your own gain when your destiny is already set. Your endgame is already set, what's gonna happen is what's gonna happen. I know it hurts and sadly this is what you have to deal with. This power is meant the help other people and to help you in the future." Kiismet spoke sadly. She knew her words were upsetting the child further, but there are strict rules with the Raven Miraculous even she as the kwami had to follow.
"I just want the pain to stop... I want this all to end..." Ella wept. Kiismet's little heart hurt. She knew where this conversation was possibly leading... down a path she had seen when the girl was just four years old, after Master Fu returned her to the park. Kiis knows there is a path Ella could step onto...and would commit suicide at the end, just to get away from everything going on with her dad.
"...no one is to know about this, Elly-bean. I know right now, there is a better place out there for you. I can show you the moment when everything is gonna change and everything will finally gonna start to come to an end."
Kiismet's eyes began to glow white as she flew closer to press her paw to Ella's forehead.
~Ella doesn't quite know where she is. It's all blurry around her, a pallet of colors. She can't see anything, like who's who or where exactly she was. She can hear conversation but she can't distinguish what the words are. Suddenly, one person becomes a solid image. Ella distinctly can see blond hair and green eyes; she sees his face...~
Kiismet pulled back, her eyes losing the glow as Ella's own opened.
"Is that...?"
"He is the one who will be by your side for the rest of your life. Your fated partner. They will be the ones to save you from all this, if you let the path continue... I know it hurts, beany, but... he will be what you've been waiting for as you grow. I promise...-
"I want to believe it's still my fated path... that Adrien and I could really be together... but I don't know how much more fight I have inside..."
"There will be times, on this journey, all you see is darkness. But out there somewhere, daylight finds you, if you keep believing. Adrien is your daylight- you've found it, Ella! You just have to believe he will always be there. So don't run, don't hide- it will be alright. Trust me, cause I'll be there watching over you!"
The girl nodded at her kwami's words, rolling over to stand.
"I try, Kiisy... but I think this path is the one forever shrouded in darkness."