Update 3/27/2020

Recently started reading a lot and I mean a LOT of RWBY fics specifically the Jaune Arc ones. RT really pissed me and a lot of fans of with the bullshit they called a backstory for Jaune Arc, that's why he's the most popular character in fanfiction, we writers just love him plus he's a blank slate. We were told he has seven sisters but we never see any of them, we're told he's from a family of hunters, at least I think we are, I've so much fanfiction I don't know anymore.

I hate naivety and innocence, no I loathe them. That was the one thing I hated about his character in the show, which is why in all my fics he's gonna be anything but that.

Twitter: @FervidActing

DeviantArt :/thefervidactor

Hello Everyone, Aspiring Novel writer here. I just wanna thank all of you who follow either me or my stories, Its your reviews that enable me to wake up in the morning (yeah right).

I hate sakura with every inch of my being so all you sakura lovers can go suck it

Im currently putting "An uzumaki love story" up for adoption so if any of you wanna have it just PM me.

New story put up link is https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13369050/1/Emotionless

I am a log worshiper

All in all these basic rules and tips are a great start to begin with the ways of the Log but remember there is always more to learn.

HOLY BOOK OF LOG EXCERPTS:

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Priest

Possible Book of Log Positions:

Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five

saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten

saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall

plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant

twenty-five saplings.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.

and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'

-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'

-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.

you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'

-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.

-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

For the log is with thee, my friend. The most holy of the forest, shall save thee. Shall be thy salvation! And yet, the log asks for nothing in return.

"Respect the sacrifice of the log that you may continue your life! You have been spared for another chance! Nurture the Life Giving Living Sap that flows within the depths of the LOG! For the log has saved countless and will save countless more!"

(Contributed by Margulide)

The log is my savior; I shall not char.

It burneth in my stead: it protecteth me from the flames.

It confoundeth mine enemies: it covereth mine escape.

Yea though I walk through the compounds of Uchiha, I will fear no katon; for thou art with me, thy bark and thy sap they shieldeth me.

Thou provideth me with shielding from the kunai of my enemies: from their shuriken and their wrath; my gratitude is never ending.

Surely splinters and termites shall folllow me all my ninja life, but I shall remain devoted to The Log forever!

(Contributed by Reader-Of-Many)

- Log Oath #23

"As the two titans clashed, the world stood at stand still. The black flame of the heretic Uchiha Madara blazing fiercely against the holy life-giving power of the Log Pope Senju Hashirama. As the ebony flame threatens to vanquish the divination of the Holy Log, it all came to naught as the Shodai Hokage drew all of his power to quench the abomination, thus ending the terror which threatened the continuity of the blessing from the holy sap."

(Contributed by Kaori)

"For as much as it hath pleased The Log of its great mercy to take unto itself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, branches to branches, trunk to trunk; in sure and certain hope of the return to eternal life, through our savior the Log, who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto its glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby it is able to subdue all things to itself. “

"As the seventh moon cycle passed, the Holy Log Pope begged for help from the gods, and his please was justly answered. Bathed in light, Hashirama Senju took up the powers of the log, and as the light left him, he saith, "Let there be logs."'

(Contributed by Desphere)

Birth of Konoha, verse 5

(Contributed by Djinn Crimsora)

“And lo, did the true friend of the Log gaze upon the land with a heavy heart. For there was nothing but death and devastation as far as the eye could see, and the blighted sand did not accept the blessing of the Log. No root, nor bark, nor sign of growth could combat the taint that filled the air.

But do not despair, true believers of the one true friend. For upon that wasteland the greatest ally of the Log did speak of hope. “There shall come a day that one of our flock will rise with the times, and bring the true word back to this land. He will know of our path and show it to others so that they may show it to others. Upon that time, this cursed land shall bloom in friendship and harmony.”

So we wait and plan for the day of enlightenment, upon which the truth will spread and shelter us in its all encompassing shade.”

Book of the Oak, A collection of musings of the Log Sage Kin upon the borders of Wind Country

(Contributed by AnothVortex)

The Holy Log and I

A beginners guide for the ways of the Log

This guide is for the beginning Log acolyte with a small amount of commandments and and tips to start with your training in to the ways of the Log

From the Book of the Holy Log these commandments were given to the very first Log Pope - a ninja called Woody - by the Great Tree of Life which still stands to the day in Rogugakure (Village Hidden in the Log), the epicenter of all Log believers.

Commandments

1 Thou shalt never hurt a Log purposely.

2 Thou shalt take care of the Log and the Log shalt take care of thee.

3 Every 365 Moon Cycles thou shalt make a crusade to the Great Tree and make an offering so the Log will prosper.

4 When thou commits heresy thou will be transformed to a disgraced Log and will burn Eternally in the unholy fires of Hell.

5 When thou has died and lived the ways of the Log dutifully thou shalt take place in the afterlife in the Forest of Life.

These are the Primary Commandments and you must obey them always. When your training progresses you shall learn more of them.

Nevertheless here are tips to live by the Log:

1) Always use Rice Paper. Using Log Paper is frowned upon.

2) At least pray thrice a day to the Great Tree.

3) Try, with thy utmost effort, to spread the Holy Teachings of Log.

4) When evil is committed to an Log commit justice to the heretic. ( Keep in mind that 95% of the world are disbelievers and that these rules are not used in the government system so act discretely.)

5) When you make an offering to the Great Tree always be respectful , even if the Great Tree does not answer.

6) Thy will find a companion in a Log with which thee should go everywhere, and it shalt become thy travelers Log.

7) Where Holy life sap is spilled plant a seed there so a tree may prosper there.

8) When writing the apology to the Log who saved your life name at least 5 reasons why you could not act otherwise.

9) When a log Priest or Pope is nearby greet him and the Log he carries.

10) If you follow the ways dutifully the Log Pope may grant you with some life sap of the Greet Tree itself! Drink it and may you be closer to the Tree and the Log.

11) When one of the messengers of the Tree itself is nearby bow for him for the Great Log Sage will only grace the holiest of worshipers with his advice, whether through messenger or not.

12) Embrace the Squirrel Summons as your companions if they grace you with their presence.