AN: Thank you all for the reviews!
Tris walks quietly into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She's been battling insomnia for weeks now, even more so since she'd been in this new apartment. Everything she has is new, from her clothes, furniture and everyday living supplies, to her actual life. Two months ago, she had a husband, and she was almost through her first year in Dauntless to be considered a full member. She was studying to be a faction ambassador, and she was unknowingly pregnant with her first child.
At one point, she thought she was happy. Now, she feels like she was simply a pawn in a game she was still too naïve to understand.
The war changed things, completely. The members of her chosen faction were pitted against each other, her home faction destroyed and her parents were almost killed in an unnecessary attempt to overthrow their government. Her own brother was part of Jeanine's new regime, and her closest friends were unaccounted for after the war. Her husband was right in the center, without her knowledge, and at one point she was too busy trying to save him to realize that she had lost everything and everyone she loved.
Tris knew that Dauntless remained somewhat intact after the war, however the members were split between remaining loyal to the faction or choosing to defect to Erudite to continue Jeanine's cause, whatever that actually was.
The intel that Amar received from Jack Kang and also from inside of Erudite was muddied. Chicago seemed to be holding in yet another calm before the next storm. Jeanine and Max were no longer living above ground, but their influence was shown in Erudite's refusal to continue following faction law. Amity remained neutral, and life for them changed little as they were still focused on providing the food supply within the walls of Chicago. Abnegation remained leveled, with rescue efforts led by Dauntless loyal and Candor to comb through the rubble to see if there were any survivors. Candor and the rest of the true Dauntless maintained order and faction law as best they could while Jeanine and Max were still at large.
It was also confirmed that Jeanine and Max were still staying in Erudite. The last time that Amar spoke to Peter was just yesterday, when he learned that the two most wanted people in Chicago were still brazenly trying to lead the city, and they continued to send Peter and Eric out on surveillance missions to look for the divergent.
In the past several weeks since being in Portland, Four was also able to find out what had happened to the friends they had left behind in Chicago. Christina and Will, Tris' best friend and her husband back in Chicago, had safely made it out of Erudite and were living in the Dauntless compound. Marlene, Lynn and Uriah also had found their way back to Dauntless after the war. Shauna had been gravely injured during the war, and while she didn't lose her life she did lose the use of her legs and was currently confined to a wheelchair. Zeke remained loyal to his wife, and he did his best to help her maneuver around the Dauntless compound while in her wheelchair. It was also through Four that Tris learned that none of their friends wanted anything to do with Tris due to her marriage and allegiance to Eric. Christina, once her closest female friend, was the most vocal about her anger at Tris for siding with Eric.
Her parents were both disgusted and disappointed in Tris' choice to marry Eric, and as a result have cut off all communication with her even though she's attempted many times to reach out. Their decision cut Tris the deepest as their Abnegation teachings wouldn't typically support cutting off a family member, even with the faction before blood laws that were once in place. Tris sees them sometimes during her surveillance monitoring, and she misses them all greatly, but she's careful to not use her access to the video systems to invade their privacy.
Tris is grieving her losses, and she clings to the only piece of home that she has: Four.
"Can't sleep?" Four asks as he sleepily pads into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, I was trying not to wake you. We could always switch bedrooms so I'm the one who's close to the kitchen." She offers.
Four doesn't answer, instead he begins to make a pot of coffee. He's known Tris long enough to know when she needs to talk, and this morning seems like one of those rare moments of vulnerability for her.
"That's not a bad idea, but I'd much rather try to get you sleeping again." He says. His back is to Tris, but he hears the deep breath she takes in response. "Let's talk about it."
"George tried talking to my father again. My parents still refuse to talk to me, even after he told them about me losing the baby." Tris replies quietly.
"I'm so sorry." Four replies gently. "I know how much you need them."
The silence between the two is deafening, but Four makes no attempt to break it. Tris has been strong, burying herself in her new job and trying as best she can to pick up the pieces of her young life. He knows that she's hurting, and he tries every day to just be there for her.
"Eric keeps asking to talk to me." Tris sighs. "Yesterday, he was on the call that Amar had with Peter."
It's been a little over a month since they arrived in Portland, and three weeks to the day since Tris and Four moved into this three bedroom apartment overlooking the city. They both applied for, and were hired to work for the surveillance team in Portland, where they are two members of a team of hundreds responsible for the security of the city. There are no walls holding them inside, however neither Tris nor Four have had any desire to venture outside of the city.
"I'm surprised you haven't talked to him." Four replies. He's turned to face Tris and leans against the counter.
Tris takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling. "I'm so angry at him."
Four has assumed as much. Tris' initial reaction to finding out Eric wasn't actually working with Jeanine or Max was one of relief, however the more time that's passed since hearing that news the darker Tris' moods have been.
She continues, "If he hadn't of ever agreed to blindly follow Jeanine things could have been so different. He'd have had my support, and through me I'm confident I could have gotten you, Tori, Chris, Will, Uri… really just about everyone on our side. He trusted Max and Jeanine more than me. His blind trust in her almost cost my parent's their life, it killed our unborn child, Tori, so many innocent Abnegation. My friends won't speak to me. My parents have disowned me. I only see the people I love in glimpses on the cameras. My entire marriage was a lie, Tobias."
"You don't know that any of us could have made any difference at all, Tris."
"He could have let us try!" Tris yells. "He said he loved me, but he didn't tell me shit about the fucking war he was helping to plan! He never once thought enough of me to tell me that he was sent in to hunt the very people we are…"
"You never told him who you are." Four interrupts. "You have every right to be angry at Eric, for all of the reasons you're outlining, however you also didn't share who you were with him. Why?"
"The only people who knew were you and Tori, and you had both repeatedly warned me about him." Tris replies.
"You trusted us more than your husband?" Four presses. He knows he's in that dangerous territory where Tris normally angrily shuts down, but today feels different.
"Yeah. I did." She finally whispers. "I still trust you more than him."
Four scrubs a hand against his face and turns to pour cups of coffee in an effort to gather his thoughts. He has had such mixed emotions about Eric for the entire time that he's known him, and he's had the same mixed emotions when it comes to Tris as well, even though the two situations are completely different. He's gone from an almost actual hate of the other man to feelings of confusion about why he chose the path he did.
Eric had everything – an important, and in all honesty a well-deserved position in Dauntless leadership, the respect of their faction at a young age, and he had the 'girl'. Four doesn't believe that Eric could fake the feelings that he has for Tris, but he also can't answer Tris' questions. Only Eric himself can.
"I will never attempt to invalidate your feelings. I hope that you know that. You have questions that deserve answers, but the only person who can actually answer those questions is Eric. You had some of these same conversations with him when he was incarcerated, and you seemed satisfied with the answers he gave you and the ones he provided under the truth serum as well." Four presses.
"That was before his involvement with Jeanine made me lose my baby. That woman has taken my brother from me, and my marriage to Eric has cost me my parents, and probably every friend in Chicago I ever had. I fell in love with who he made me believe he was, Tobias. I believed that he showed me who he really was when it was just the two of us, but I've started to wonder if I should have believed who he showed everyone else. I am so angry at him, it's shifting into a feeling of resentment for all of the losses we have all suffered as a result of both his actions, and his inaction. I let my love blind me from who he really is." She shakes her head back and forth. "I got caught up in it. He was dangerous, he was this big mystery and everyone warned me to stay away from him. Maybe I just wanted the challenge, maybe it was about proving you all wrong."
Four takes a deep breath, he's a bit stunned at her openness this morning, and more so at what she's actually said. The Beatrice Prior he's known for her entire life is definitely not someone who's ever liked being told what to do. In his experience with her, she's been known to do exactly the opposite of anything she's felt pressured to do. She has always been someone who made her own decisions.
"While I would agree you have a tendency to be incredibly stubborn, and like to make your own path, I cannot imagine you would have married a man just to prove you knew more than those of us who were warning you against him." He hedges carefully.
"Ever since the accident, I am questioning every decision I've ever made." She replies quietly. "You are the only person who has stayed. I have repeatedly treated you like shit, but you've stayed. Why?" She asks.
He brings two mugs to the table and gestures for her to sit. She wraps her hands around the warm mug of coffee and brings it to her lips, never taking her eyes off of him. Those hazel eyes bore into his own dark blue ones, and he knows he can never lie to her.
"I'll never leave you, Tris. You are my best friend, I've loved you since we were kids. Right now, you need a friend more than anything and that's what I will be." He responds. "I also promised your husband if anything were to happen to him, I would take care of you."
"Like he cares." She scoffs.
"I believe he does. I have no reason at all to defend him, Tris. I haven't ever given two shits whether he lived or died if I'm being completely real here. He and I are not friends, but there is something about him that makes me believe he does love you, and that he realizes he made grave mistakes when it comes to being involved with Jeanine. I know the idea of blindly following someone like her is completely foreign to you, but when you are a member of leadership in Dauntless you follow orders. I know it goes against the moral conduct we were raised to follow in Abnegation, but in Dauntless it was everything. Eric had no idea that you were a divergent, or that you were carrying his child. He only knew what his superiors were teaching him, and what he was being ordered to do." Four argues.
"He knew I was from Abnegation, and that my parents were there. Even if he were doing what was expected of him as a leader, why wouldn't he have tried to save my parents at least?" Tris finally says.
"I would like to know the same thing." Four agrees.
"I feel so unsettled." Tris sighs. "George didn't know that Peter was Amar's informant, so he enacted this Plan Z without really understanding the bigger picture. We are hundreds of miles from home, we have no actual plan to stop whatever Jeanine's next move is, we don't even know her next move. We left our entire lives behind, and for what?"
"I don't know. I think we could at least get some answers if we were to talk to Peter. If I can make this happen, would you want to join me?" Four asks. Tris simply nods in response.
Several hours later, with Amar's help Four and Tris are in his office, waiting for a call on the secured line. They'd arrived early to discuss some of their concerns with Amar, and that conversation went as expected with the limited information that Amar's team has been able to gleam from Jack or Peter. Portland is on a standby, however they are growing in numbers with more divergents who have defected from Chicago, along with some of the other populated cities across the country. Amar and George are on the cusp of starting a regimented training plan as well, with the number of citizens who have arrived from Chicago bringing their own skills they believe they can create an army of their own. An army they hope can dismantle the faction system within Chicago, and finally bring Jeanine down.
The distinct ring of the secured line startles them all, even though they expected the call what they did not expect was the video to accompany it. Amar immediately recognizes Peter's surroundings as one of their surveillance buildings that is underground, a mere miles from the fence surrounding Chicago.
"You found it." Amar says in a form of a greeting.
"I did. You weren't kidding when you said it was hidden. It only took me two full weeks to find this damn bunker." Peter replies with a smile. "God, I've missed seeing you."
Four and Tris exchange glances. While Amar has been honest about his previous relationship with Peter, they are surprised to hear the obvious care in Peter's voice.
"I've missed you too. I do have people here with me." Amar replies. Four and Tris join him behind his desk, moving their chairs so they are all within the camera's frame.
"Oh, that's good." Peter begins, but is cut off by another voice in the room.
"Is she there?" Eric asks from off-camera.
Tris snaps to attention and pushes her chair away from the camera. "I won't do this." Tris says. She makes her way towards the door.
"Tris, please." Eric begs, finally making his way into the frame of the camera. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his face is lined with worry. "I am so sorry. Baby, I love you. Please talk to me, please…"
Four and Amar look at Tris, and she shakes her head even as he continues to plead. Surprisingly, she moves back into the camera's view.
"You leave me alone. You stay the fuck away from here, and away from me. You've cost me everything and there is not a damn thing you can say or do to change that. I want nothing to do with you." She says venomously into the camera, pointing her finger directly at her surprised husband. She moves away from the camera, and out of the office door without so much as a second glance.