AN: Hello! I hope you enjoy the story but first just wanted to get the preamble out of the way. This is my first story on here so I'm not entirely sure of my upload schedule, but I am excited to keep writing and uploading and have a couple chapters already. My chapters are usually around 2500 words, some less and some more. If you guys like this, I'll continue it.

One thing to note is that this story is after most of the events of the books, except for the Renesmee thing. I hated reading it, so I'm sure not going to be writing it! Fight me.

Fair warning, this is rated for mature/sexual content. I don't think it will be too... detailed, but proceed at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Now off to the fun!

Chapter 1: Place of Nightmares

Never in my long, miserable life did I think I would have to return to this place of nightmares. Though, it's not as if I had nightmares while I slept. I could close my eyes, but sleep would always escape me. Hah, how long has it been since I last slept?

Five long years.

Five years of waking nightmares.

Five years of learning control.

Five years of mourning my humanity.

I stared out the window, watching the mayhem of the hustle and bustle below. Children playing in the town square. Vendors strolling the streets and calling out to tourists. Musicians playing for money.

God, what I would do to be down there, with the sun shining in my face. I yearned to, at the very least, leave this hotel room. Now I knew why Edward called himself damned. This life, if you could call it that, was damning.

And it was damn boring.

The door opened, but I didn't bother turning around. There was a sigh, and then the door clicked shut. Barely perceptible footsteps drew closer and hands dropped lightly on my shoulders.

"You need to stop doing this to yourself," he whispered.

"I want out," I growled, unable to stop myself.

Another sigh. "Soon."

I turned around and faced him, lifting my face to look at him. He looked the same as always, of course, and it gave me a brief rush of past love. His bronze hair was as neat as ever, but it was his eyes that once drew me in that I looked into now. I begged myself to feel something, anything.

A small smile made his full lips twitch, but his square jaw was tight and his eyes didn't hold any warmth anymore. They felt cold to me, indifferent as he gazed down at me.

Maybe he was looking for in me what I was looking for in him.

"Come with me?" he asked.

I arched an eyebrow. "Do you want me to? You don't sound too sure."

He smiled now, and for once it reached his eyes, making them twinkle daringly. Barely conscious of it, I stepped closer. My eyes never left his, so I saw exactly when the light left his eyes again. With a frown, I stepped back.

This was always how it was. As soon as we started to make any progress, one of us would backtrack and close up again. Today it was Edward.

Most days it was Edward.

He swallowed hard, with every inch of his perfect face tightening. "I want you to come." Lie. "Everyone is in Carlisle's room, discussing the game plan."

Typical. The one time he 'wanted' me to come anywhere, it was more because it was necessary. There was no want, and I doubted there ever would be again.

With a sigh, I sidestepped him and left the room, not bothering to wait. When he caught up, I was already in Carlisle's room, letting their smiles wash over me. At least I wouldn't have to struggle through a strained conversation with Edward anymore.

"About time," Alice said, huffing. She pouted at me as if she was a child. "We still have to figure out your outfit."

I shot Edward a murderous glare, but he merely laughed it off and joined Carlisle on the couch. I had to let it go, hearing the true joy in his laugh, and I let Alice tug me to the door that adjourned to Esme's room.

Esme and Rosalie sat on the bed, in a sea of dresses. Rosalie laughed at something Esme must have said. Then she glanced at me and stifled a grin.

"She got you too, huh?" Rosalie asked.

I yanked my hand from Alice's and joined the two on the bed. "As if there's ever a way out."

"Hey, this is serious," Alice insisted.

Rarely anything that came out of Alice's mouth was serious. That remained true for the next two hours, as she had all of us try on countless dresses and foiled any escape plans every time. Near the end, she had me switching between two dresses, having me change again and again.

Day after day, I was reaching my limit with this girl. Five years of having to listen to her, twenty-four hours a day. There's only so much one person can take, and that's what I preface my outburst with.

"Just pick one! It's just a fucking dress!" I snapped, after being told to change into the other one for what had to be the thousandth time.

Alice looked put out immediately. "It has to be perfect."

"No, it really doesn't. We're going to see the Volturi, not anyone we actually want to impress. They're not going to care if I wear this red dress over the blue one," I shot back.

"Oh, so you like the red one more?" She smiled, victorious.

Surely this had to be a joke. She couldn't have really put me through all of this agony just to find out which dress I liked better.

At her words, I thought about it. Yes, I did favour the red one, though I would be fine in either. The red one came down in a deep V-neck, held up by thin straps. It was a form fitting mermaid dress, even though the shape was less drastic than some of the same type. It fit around my butt nicely, with laces tied a little bit above, and revealed a low back. Below, lace details flared out into the skirt.

I could do without the tight low-back bustier Alice had forced me into though.

Nice as the dress was, annoyance filled me. She had some nerve playing one of her little games at a time like this, when we should have been on the same side.

My fists clenched. "Are you serious? All that just so you can know which one I like better?"

"Well, it's important that you like it too." Since when? That's never been a concern of hers.

Instead, I snapped, "Then ask!"

Alice rolled her eyes, as if I was the child. Then, she cocked her head and her eyes widened, clearly having thought of something dreadful. She pouted and groaned, and honestly I debated passing her a pacifier for the fit she looked like she was about to have.

"I completely forgot, you can't wear red," she said.

"Why not?" Rosalie asked, clearly almost as over this as I was.

She scowled at Rosalie, who apparently failed one of Alice's tests. In a stage-whisper, she said, "It's their colour."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I muttered. I turned and made for the door, shaking my head. "I'm done. I'm out. No one owns a colour."

For once, Alice let me go and didn't follow after me, not that it would have gotten her far. Once I made it back to my room, I collapsed on the bed and, for the first time in a long time, felt like I could cry. Not that I wanted to cry, although I did want to, but that I felt that really, truly could cry.

My frustration reached its peak. She was always playing these stupid games. Was this truly what she chose to waste her immortality on? She would be tolerable if not for her need to play with her life-size dolls.

I groaned into the sheets and rolled over. From my spot, I saw the sun low in the sky outside the window. The wait would soon be over, and then I could finally be around people outside of this family.

As the minute ticked by, I did my own makeup in the quiet of the room. I did much lighter than Alice would have done. She had a thing for smoky eyes, and the darker the better. When I finally finished, I slid on a pair of black strappy heels and grabbed my clutch. I fully intended to go meet up with the others, but then I realized something.

My hair!

I bolted to the bathroom and plugged in my curling wand. The last thing I needed to do was having something unfinished for Alice to nitpick about. Surely she would find something, anything, as she always did, but I wasn't about to make it easy for her.

By the time I was a good three quarters done making soft, romantic curls, I heard the door in the main room open.

"Bella?" Edward called out.

"In here," I spoke up. "I'm almost done, just a few more minutes."

I heard him walk in. "Don't worry, you're not late. I just wanted to make sure you're still coming."

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"Alice mentioned your… difference of opinion," he said.

I snorted. Difference of opinion.

"Your sister was just being ridiculous," I insisted.

In a softer voice, he said, "She told me you stormed out, yelling that you're done."

"Yes, done with her, not done with this night," I said, meeting his eyes in the mirror as I curled another strand.

"I had to make sure," he said. Then his eyes slid down my dress, slowly, and to my delight, he bit his lip. "You look gorgeous."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"You know, she is right about the colour though," he said.

Just like that, any delight I felt deflated. I glared at him through the mirror, but he wasn't focused on my face.

"No one owns a colour," I snapped.

He chuckled, unbothered. "Alright, alright. I just figured I would try."

Eventually, his eyes moved back up to my face, watching me in the mirror as I continued to curl my hair.

He was leaning against the doorframe, watching me. His molten eyes searched, but I couldn't begin to understand what they were searching for.

"We need to show a united front tonight," he said.

"Behave and that won't be a problem," I said, forcing the detachment into my voice.

He huffed. "Maybe I would behave all the time if you weren't so defensive."

As I curled the last strand and unplugged the curling wand, my anger flared. I turned on him and glared. He flinched back, rightfully so.

"That's not our problem and you know it," I shot back with a steeled voice. "Your problem with me is that I'm not human anymore."

He fell silent. He couldn't even deny it.

With a sigh, I left him in the bathroom and went to gather my clutch again. Edward followed me out a minute later, merely watching me.

"What is your problem with me?" he asked.

I paused in re-checking the contents of my clutch. "Excuse me?"

"You… you said 'your problem,' not 'our problem.' So I'll ask again: what's your problem with me?" Edward watched me intently, his body held so tight, waiting for the impact.

In a soft voice, I murmured, "That you don't love me anymore."

Maybe it was because of the dejected way I sat on the bed or how broken I sounded, but regardless of the reason, Edward was on the floor in front of me in an instant. With his hands on my knees, he stared up at me, and he had never looked so desperate before.

I could see it in his eyes; he wanted so desperately to love me, but that's the one thing you can't fake. No matter how long he stared into my eyes in the way that used to make me blush, he wouldn't be able to find his lost love.

He loved my humanity, not me.

Trying - and probably failing - to paste a smile onto my face, I said, "We should get going. Alice won't want to wait much longer."

"Yeah," he mumbled, rising to his feet.

I stood and wrapped an arm around his arm, stepping closer. At his startled look, I smiled.

"United front, right?"

Again, he mumbled, "Yeah."

We met up with the rest of the family in the lobby. Alice made a nasty face as she looked at us, probably trying to come up with a back-handed compliment for me. Before she had a chance, Carlisle ushered us out into the dark night.

The Volturi had given us directions to a specific entrance to the underground tunnels, probably having many covens entering through different passages. We made our way to where a false wall was hidden behind an old, abandoned daycare. Behind it was a trap door. Not the most graceful way to enter with a dress on, but there wasn't much of a choice.

"Here goes nothing," I heard Rosalie mutter when it was her turn.

When I hopped down after her, I had the exact same sentiments. Edward initiated the arm joining this time, waiting only for me to finish brushing off my dress. Despite everything between us, as we made our way down the dark passage, I curled closer to Edward. The least he could give me was comfort, and he did.

"I'm right here," he whispered, barely audible and for my ears only.

I leaned into him as we emerged into a light-filled hallway. Standing before the double doors were Jane and Alec, and I saw the moment they each recognized us.

Alec with a polite smile, and Jane with her seething glare.

AN: I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought of the first chapter. The next chapter will be the introduction of the character we really want to see ;)

Love, MissTwilightWriter