Chapter 28

February 18, 1921
Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

My eyes flicked open to find our room pitch black. I was wrapped in Jack's arms, my head rested on his chest. He was still asleep. I checked the clock, which was partly lit by the moonlight, and saw that it was still the middle of the night… Why was I awake? Within only a second, I figured out why. I could hear sobs through the wall and Mia calling for me. "Mommy!" I heard her yell, "Mommy!"

My heart broke as I heard her. I carefully unwrapped Jack's arm from around my waist and climbed out of bed, thankfully not waking him. I put on my kimono and went as quickly as I could into Mia's room. She was asleep, wrestling with her blanket, thrusting back and forth. I sat on the edge of her bed and shook her gently. "Mia, sweetheart, wake up," I whispered. "Wake up, Mia."

Her tear-filled eyes finally opened, and she continued to cry. I pulled her closer and held her tightly in my arms, stroking through her hair. "Shh, it's okay, it's okay," I whispered. "Mommy's here." I kissed the top of her head, repeatedly whispering that everything was okay.

"I had a dream that you were gone again," she cried against me. I tightened my arms around her, not even knowing what to say. All of this had broken her into a million pieces, and I didn't know how to put her back together. "Please don't leave again," she begged.

"I'm never leaving you again, I promise," I whispered. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere." I held her for another moment, my eyes closing tiredly. "How about you try to sleep, hmm?" She looked up at me and shook her head. "I'll stay with you, so when you wake up, I'll still be here right next to you."

Mia looked up at me, her teary blue eyes met mine. "You promise?"

I nodded. "I promise," I whispered. I released her and watched as she got back under the blanket. I laid down next to her, wrapping my arms tightly around her and holding her against me. Her head rested against my chest and her arms wrapped around my torso. "Wake me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Mia whispered tiredly. "Good night, Mommy."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, listening as her breathing grew thicker and slower, signaling she was asleep. I held her in my arms as my mind wandered, desperately trying to think of something I could do to help Mia. Her whole life, I was amazed by how she could still be so innocent and pure despite everything happening around her. It was naive of me to think that there wouldn't be a breaking point for her, that she would be able to handle all of this.

I suppose it would take time for Mia to get used to the fact that nothing would separate us again. I hoped that, after a while, Mia would see that this would be our life from now on, and nothing would change. Of course, I realized that things would change once again, when the baby was born. I closed my eyes for a moment, realizing how much this was for a five- six year old to handle. She was taken from her home, was brought to a new home where she lived under constant fear of being found by her father, was told that she would have a new baby brother or sister, watched as her mother was taken from her, and now, she was supposed to believe that everything would be fine? Of course she would be hesitant to believe that things were alright now; for as long as she could remember, things had never been alright.

I looked down at her and smiled, her little arm rested across my body. Her hand gripped my kimono, afraid to let go. Her hair was spread around her, her eyes were shut, and her small body was against mine.

There was something so special about moments like these, when Mia was asleep against me and I would just stare at her for hours. All sense of time disappeared, all distractions went away, and it was just Mia and I. I would never get tired of looking at her, memorizing every feature of her little face and noticing the differences as she got older.

I heard a creak in the floorboards and looked up, surprised to find Jack standing in the doorway, a slight smile beginning to form. I put my finger to my lips and looked back down at Mia for a moment to signal that she was asleep. He walked over to us and carefully laid down on Mia's other side. Mia was now sandwiched between Jack and I. I carefully sat up on the bed, adjusting Mia's position. I brought my lips up to his ear and whispered, "She had a bad dream. I promised I'd stay with her for tonight."

Jack nodded. "Okay." He looked down at her and smiled. "She's so glad you're here, Rose. She missed you so much... as did I." I didn't know if that should have made me happy that she loved me, or sad that she had fallen apart without me. "He can't ever change his mind and come back… can he?"

I shook my head. "The divorce is final, and he signed away all rights to Mia." I looked at him and smiled. "You're stuck with us." He leaned forward and kissed my temple, instantly making me smile.

"Good," he whispered. I adjusted my position on the bed, wincing in pain as my bruises rubbed against the pillow behind me. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

I shook my head. "The bruises really aren't that bad, I promise. They hurt a bit when they're touched, but I've experienced worse." I realized as soon as I said that that it sounded like I meant Cal's abuse, when I meant that life had just handed me worse than a few bruises.

Jack kissed my forehead, holding me as close as he could without hurting me. I knew he was trying to be as gentle as possible, though he must have wanted to hold me as tightly as he could and never let me go. "It'll heal soon," he whispered; of course he knew what I was thinking. "You're safe now, Rose. I promise." He took my hand and kissed it, then held it against his chest. "Rose… you know…" he paused, taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "You know I'd never do that to you, right?"

My heart broke as I realized what Jack was worried about. "Of course I do," I answered. "I know that what we have is real, that this is… different." I smiled at him, my gaze unwavering, so he would know I meant it. "Besides, there were signs with Cal that things wouldn't end well."

Jack looked up at me. "There were?"

I nodded. "All of Titanic, really. I don't really know how I managed to look past him shooting at us with a gun," I shivered at the thought. "Then, of course, I got the tattoo shortly after, and Cal never understood why I would do something permanent to my body, even something that no one but him would see." I instinctively reached down and touched the tattoo, then realized that I didn't need the tattoo anymore; I had Jack with me now. "Really the more obvious signs came later, like when Mia was born, and Cal was disappointed. That was even before the infertility or the abuse."

"It makes me sick," Jack shook his head angrily, then looked down at Mia and smiled. "Mia is absolutely perfect," Yes, she is, I thought to myself. "And the fact that he couldn't see that because she couldn't… inherit some empire is unbelievable."

He didn't understand that everything he just said was the exact reason why I knew he would never change his behavior towards me. He didn't care about biology or gender or anything else. He loved Mia even though she wasn't even his, he took us in even though it put him in danger, he put me back together when I was broken into a million pieces.

"I do wonder sometimes, if I had given him a son, if everything would've stayed the same," I said, deep in thought. "I… I don't know if things would have changed for me, but I'm sure he wouldn't have treated his son well either." I looked over at Jack and sighed. "I… you know, I don't really care, but I just wonder."

Jack nodded. "It's okay for you to wonder what could've been, I understand that," he smiled kindly. "I can't imagine what you've been through, Rose, but I want you to know you can always talk to me about it, alright?"

I smiled. "Thank you," I whispered, then leaned forward, touching my lips to his. As I tried to pull away, Jack wrapped his arms around me and refused to let me go. We both laughed quietly as my mind immediately flashed back to Titanic, when I was leaning over Jack's shoulder and we shared a similar moment.

My word, how things had changed since then. We were children, really, who fell in love in only two days on one long rush of adrenaline. That love was epiphanic and life changing, I knew that, and I remembered the feeling of intoxication and infatuation I felt for Jack. That feeling was extraordinary, but the way I felt for him now was real.

We had a life together now, a real one. We woke up next to each other every morning and fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms every night. We had moments where we would stare at each other and tell each other things that no one else knew, that we were afraid to say, sometimes even to each other. As incredible as those few days of Titanic were, this was just as wonderful.

"I love you so much," Jack whispered. He said it to me often - every chance he got, really - yet hearing it still made me feel the same way it did when he first said it. I appreciated it even more now, if that were possible, since I was back in Chippewa Falls. Jack leaned over, put his hand on one of my cheeks and kissed the other.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, careful that I didn't wake Mia, who was asleep in between us, and touched my nose to his neck. "I love you too."

•••

I woke up the next morning to some soreness in the back of my neck. I looked around and saw Mia and Jack still asleep next to me. I smiled and closed my eyes for a moment, but opened them a moment later when I felt Mia squirming in my arms. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at me. "I promised you I'd be here when you woke up, didn't I?" I kissed her forehead and smiled.

"J-Daddy's still asleep," she said, looking over at Jack and then back at me. That was the first time she had called him that, and I wished he heard it. I knew it would make his heart soar as much as it did mine.

I smiled and touched her cheek. "Why don't you wake him?"

Mia rolled over and squirmed her way over to Jack, so her head was in line with his, only a few inches away. "Daddy," she whispered, tapping his shoulder with her little hand. "Wake up."

He finally opened his eyes and instantly smiled down at her, then at me. "Good morning," he whispered. He grabbed Mia and tickled her, making her laugh hysterically. I smiled as I watched them. Jack was so good with her, such a natural father. He reached out and took my hand, holding it in his and intertwining his fingers with mine. "I'm going to start a fire, make some breakfast. I'll leave you two." He got up out of bed, kissed my forehead, and closed the door behind him.

I wrapped my arms tighter around Mia and held her close. I ran my fingers through her soft red curls. "What do you want to do today?" I asked. "It's your birthday, so we can do anything you want."

Mia shrugged. "I just want to spend time with you."

I smiled and touched her cheek. "Don't worry. We'll be spending the whole day together, I promise." She looked at me and smiled. "We can go for a walk, we can bake-"

"But Mommy, you don't know how to bake." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows suspiciously.

"So we'll figure it out!" I climbed out of bed and smiled, taking Mia's hand. "Believe me, I can bake." She looked up at me, unconvinced. "I can!"

Mia looked up at me, still unconvinced. "Okay," She held my hand, swinging our arms as we walked. We got to the kitchen, where Jack was cooking breakfast. He turned around when he heard our footsteps and smiled. Mia let go of my hand and ran towards him, and he lifted her and placed her on the counter. I wrapped my arm around Jack and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. I turned back to Mia, whose eyes were on my stomach. "Mommy, when is the baby coming?"

"Six months," I told her. "The baby will be here in August." I stepped over and touched her cheek. "How are you feeling about that? About being a big sister, having a baby in the house." I was sure Mia would approach this change the same way she did with any other: with excitement and optimism.

Mia shrugged. "I'm okay," she smiled. Of course she was; she was resilient, flexible, strong, and so much more. She made me so proud every single day. "Are things gonna change?"

That was the tough question that I had hoped she wouldn't ask, because I didn't know what to say. Things would change, I knew that, but nothing about my love for her or my relationship with her would ever change. I just didn't know how to explain that to her. "Well… they might," I answered. "But change isn't always a bad thing. Remember when we first came here, when we started living here?" She nodded. "That was different, but now look how happy we are here."

"Okay," Mia nodded. She kicked her legs back and forth as Jack and I shared a look. "What if the baby doesn't like me?"

My heart broke. Before I could think of the right thing to say, Jack responded to her. "That's impossible," he smiled. "You're going to be this baby's big sister. This baby is going to look up to you and love you so much," he told her. "I promise Mia, you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay," she lifted her arms as if to ask to be taken off the counter. Jack lifted her and placed her on the ground, and we both watched her skip into the other room.

I walked closer to Jack, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around my waist. "Good morning," I whispered, pressing my lips to his. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, holding me close. We separated, and I took his hand. "Come here, I want to talk to you about something." We sat at the table, and I took his hand. "I'm really worried about Mia."

Jack sighed and nodded. "I know," he said quietly, taking my hand in his and giving it nurturing rubs.

"I've never seen her like this before, Jack. Even when we were in Pittsburgh and she was watching how Cal was treating me. Even after the way he treated her. She's never been like this before," I shook my head. "She was crying last night, begging me not to leave her again. There was just… this darkness in her eyes that wasn't there before. That innocence in her eyes is gone, and she'll never get it back-" I cut off suddenly, sobbing uncontrollably.

Jack wrapped his arms around me and held me in his arms. "I know how hard this is," he whispered, kissing the top of my head as my tears soaked through his shirt. "I know a lot has changed and that it's taken a toll on her, but listen to me, Rose," he took my shoulders and lifted me off his chest so we could look at each other. "Mia is resilient. She's stronger than any six year old I've ever seen… stronger than most adults! She'll make it through this, and she'll still be your little girl. She'll always be Mia. It'll just take some time. And with a mother like you, I know she can do it."

I wiped my tears away. "I just feel so silly. Here we are, with the freedom we didn't even know was possible, and I'm still a mess." I laughed darkly as I turned to him. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Do you hear me, Rose? Nothing." He stroked my cheek. "And you could never be silly for thinking these things. Yes, we're together forever, but that doesn't mean you haven't been through so much, and it takes time to get through that." I smiled, finally feeling somewhat at ease. "And I'm always here to help you, in any way I can. You know that."

I smiled and kissed his cheek, then wrapped my arms tightly around him. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too," he whispered in my ear. His arms tightened around me (still gentle, of course). "We'll all get through this, Rose. I promise you that. And we'll do it together. As a family."

•••

I was sitting on the couch with Mia when Jack returned home with the doctor. I knew he wanted me to see a doctor since the beating I took from Cal. I was terrified to see the doctor and hear what he had to say. It was easier to live in this little bubble, where Jack, Mia and I could pretend that there was nothing left to do but move on from this.

My biggest fear was that Cal had hurt another one of my children, that this baby wouldn't be alright. How would I tell Jack, who was so excited for this baby? He had been so amazing with Mia, I just wanted him to have a child that was biologically his, as silly as that may seem.

That was exactly why I told Jack specifically that I wanted him to stay downstairs with Mia while I had my appointment. I told him it was because I was worried about leaving Mia alone, which was true, but I also needed to have all of the information I could without worrying about what Jack was thinking.

As the doctor did his examination, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. My palms were sweating, my breathing was ragged, and my stomach was filled with butterflies, and not the good kind. The doctor clicked his pen and looked at me. "Alright, Miss Rose. You and the baby are right on track. You're perfectly healthy, you both are. Just continue to take it easy as your bruises heal." I sighed in relief as the doctor told me everything was alright. "If you'd like, you can listen to the baby's heartbeat."

I nodded, taking the stethoscope from him and listened carefully. Then, I heard it: the steady heartbeat echoed in my ears. I laughed and covered my mouth. "Oh my god," I whispered. "W-would you mind getting Jack?" I asked. He smiled and nodded, and a moment later, he returned with Jack. He looked nervous, but once he saw the smile on my face, he knew everything was alright. "Jack, come listen to this."

I watched as he listened to the heartbeat himself, and tears ran down his cheeks. "Oh my god!" He laughed, placing his hand against my stomach. "I can't believe this!" He leaned down and placed a kiss on my stomach, then on my lips.

•••

Jack, Mia, and I spent the rest of the day together, just sitting in front of the fire. Jack and I had offered to do anything Mia wanted to do, but all she wanted was to sleep with her head against my lap. I stayed with her while she napped for a while, but a pain in my legs required me to get up and walk around.

As I stood up, I saw Jack standing outside, leaning on the railing of the porch. I expected to see him smoking a cigarette, but instead, he was standing with his portfolio, drawing a portrait of me in bed listening to the baby's heartbeat. I could tell by the stethoscope pressed to my stomach and the expression on my face. I loved watching him draw, and I loved how his portfolio had changed from a grief-filled account of Jack and I on Titanic to a log of everything the three of us had been through.

I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and kissed his cheek. "Are we out of cigarettes or something?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.

"No," he chuckled. "I just realized that with you being pregnant and having a young child in the house, quitting was the responsible thing to do." He lifted my hand from his neck and kissed it. "And before you say that I don't have to do that, I was happy to." He kept drawing for a bit, blending out a few of the dark lines. "There," he blew away the flakes of charcoal that had fallen. "Done."

I smiled at how perfect it was, the way he perfectly captured the moment. "It's beautiful, Jack." I moved to stand next to him, wrapping my arms around one of his and leaning my head against him. "It's all just perfect. Everything's the way it should be." I stared at the sunset for a moment, then turned back to look at Jack. "So I wanted to ask you something," I said, lifting my head off Jack's shoulder so I could look at him. "One thing that would help me when I was in Pittsburgh was to think about names for the baby." I saw him smile and I smiled back at him, even though I knew he felt a pang of sadness that I had ended up back there in the first place. "And I didn't ever get around to coming up with a list or anything, but there was one name in mind." I took his hand and smiled at him. "Clara."

Jack stood still, smiling ever so slightly. "What?"

"It's really up to you, Jack," I continued. "If you don't want a reminder of her running around this house, I completely understand, and I'll drop it immediately. I just want you to know, if you wanted to name our daughter after Clara, we could. That would be alright with me."

Jack stared at me, touching my cheek. "You would do that for me?" He asked.

I nodded. "Of course I would," I smiled. "I love you more than anything, Jack, and I know how much you miss her every day. From what you've told me about her, she sounds amazing. I'd be honored to have our daughter named after her."

Jack smiled and moved closer, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me lovingly. "What if it's a boy?" he asked.

I laughed under my breath. "I didn't think of that." I placed my hand on his cheek. "We'll think about it," I whispered, kissing him again, holding onto him as if he'd disappear if I let go.

Jack pulled away too soon, and I looked at him with confusion. He licked his lips nervously, then took a step back. "Rose, I need to...to ask you something." He reached into his pocket, got down on one knee, and held out a ring.

"Oh my god," I gasped. "Jack, what-"

"I love you, Rose," he said, a nervous smile on his face. "I remember, we once talked about all the things we wished we could do. I told you I wish I could have a child with you, that I could travel the world with you, that I could marry you, and lastly… that I could get down on one knee and ask you to marry me." A tear left my eye. "We can do all of those things now, and there is no one I'd rather do it all with than you."

I didn't know what to say or do. Here Jack was, offering to give me everything I ever wanted. He took care of me, protected me, loved me no matter what. I never thought the day would come where I was free to have a future with Jack, where there was no threat of Cal returning.

"I know that it's really soon to be doing this, and that you just got out of your last marriage. So I'm not asking you to marry me now," he smiled at me, the way he always did, the way that made me feel like a seventeen year old girl again. "I'm promising you to love you forever, to always take care of you and support you no matter what. And one day, whenever you're ready, I want to marry you."

"Jack, stand up." I took his hand and tugged on it, and he stood up. I quickly wrapped my arms around him, kissing him. I grabbed my face in his hands and our lips locked, as if custom made only for each other.

He pulled away, one hand on my cheek. "Is that a yes?" He asked.

How could he even ask that? I had wanted to marry him since I told him I'd get off Titanic with him, since I had knocked on his door and he promised to take care of us, since I had told him to put his hands on me again after Thanksgiving dinner.

I adjusted my hands, holding his cheeks in my hands, feeling his hair under my fingertips. "Of course it is," I whispered. "You're everything, Jack."

He smiled and took my hand, sliding the ring onto my finger. "No… you're everything." He kissed the palm of my hand, then both of my cheeks, then my lips. "Oh Rose," he whispered, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I love you so much."