AN: Happy Monday - if you're in England then happy Bank Holiday Monday. I hope you're getting a day off - I'm so happy I am. Hope you guys all enjoy the chapter. It's was a fun one to write, adding some new lore in there. And the interaction between Remus and Snape was a blast. Snape's so bitter all the time - my guy needs some therapy ASAP - but it makes writing his snark the best thing ever!

Chapter 17: One's just barely getting by

On New Year's Day, Halley woke with a start covered in sweat, and with a vague image of a curly haired woman on the ground disappearing from her mind. She was damp and sticky, and there was a tightness that made the muscles in her stomach clench, pulsing in time with the butterflies.

Her heart was racing, her mouth felt dry and she was breathing shallow breaths.

Did I have a nightmare? No, she'd trained herself to bite the inside of her cheek when she had a nightmare because the Dursleys didn't like to be woken up. Nightmares left a coppery taste in her mouth.

This wasn't a nightmare.

Halley felt restless. There was a knot in her stomach and - had she wet herself? She moved her fingers downwards to feel around the mattress but it was only slightly damp from the sweat. But her underwear was also damp as well.

Halley touched the damp area and a pulse of...something flushed through the area and pooled in her stomach. Halley gasped and pulled her hand away.

What was that? What was happening?

"What did you find out?" Halley asked Parkinson as soon as the three of them were back and alone in their room once again.

"Oh, so you didn't want to hear about the schmoozing and the handsome new man introduced at the Malfoy Ball?" Parkinson asked. "Apparently he's Lord Nott's cousin."

"I can't say I do," Halley deadpanned.

Parkinson rolled her eyes at Halley's impatience but she didn't make a fuss. Instead, she made sure that Davis or Bulstrode wouldn't come barrelling in, and then she spoke. "Mama has a surprising wealth of knowledge when it comes to Unbreakable Vows - which is somewhat concerning, but never mind that for now. What do you know about magic?" she asked.

Halley frowned. "That's an incredibly vague question."

"Fair enough. What do you know about accidental magic?" she asked instead.

"That it's an accident?" Halley quipped sarcastically.

From beside her, Greengrass tutted and turned towards Halley. "Be serious. This is important."

"Fine," Halley said. "It's...magic not channelled through our wands. Most of the time it's instinctual."

Parkinson looked like she'd smelt something off; her nose scrunched up slightly in distaste and made her already awkward face more unsightly. Halley thought it would be better if she didn't make that face often.

"That's...the most basic way of describing it. Were you raised in a barn, Potter?"

Halley glared at Parkinson until she looked away. Parkinson didn't apologise, but she did move along quickly after that. "Right, well mama said that the magic surrounding this type of oath isn't based on intention like other spells, so much as it's based on instinct. Almost like accidental magic."

She nodded. Halley had thought about that afternoon enough to pinpoint that whatever she'd done to keep the magic in the air and stop it receding back had been the thing that let her create a Vow for Riddle. It hadn't felt like the magic that came from a flick of her wand, and it hadn't felt exactly like when she had accidentally gotten herself up on top of a high shed to get away from Dudley. But it had felt close enough to it that she could understand what Parkinson was saying.

"But, there have been examples when the magic surrounding the Vow stops being instinctual and starts becoming sentient."

"What?" Greengrass asked.

Parkinson nodded in response. "Mama told me about loopholes - you told her right, Daphne? - and she said that, because of how the magic had evolved, it deemed the Recipient to have broken the intention behind the Vow. Every time that happened, they died."

"How many times has that happened?" Greengrass asked.

"Throughout all of history? Only a handful. Ten to fifteen times."

"So it's not common?" Halley asked.

Parkinson shrugged. "It doesn't seem to be that way. But mama doesn't know why it happened, only that it did."

Halley paused, thinking about what Parkinson had said. Something didn't make sense though. "If the Recipient died, then how does anyone know what killed them?"

Greengrass answered. "Magic leaves behind a residue on everything that it touches. It's how Professors, Healers or Aurors are able to figure out what kinds of spells have been used. The more you've seen or used a spell, the easier it is to detect without any other sort of magic. But there are spells that can determine what was cast most based on the most frequently used magic."

Was that what the Trace was then? Just the detection of magic?

"So," Halley began slowly, "the magical residue from the Unbreakable Vow told people that the Recipients had died from the Vow?" she asked.

"Yeah. So I wouldn't try and get around the loophole if I were you, Potter."

No. Especially if no-one understood why magic became sentient in the first place!

On the first Thursday in the new term, Remus Lupin waited for Halley. He wasn't afraid to acknowledge his anxiety around the lesson, but he couldn't put his finger on why he was so anxious. Remus looked around his office one last time. He'd thought about using a classroom but brushed that thought aside; it didn't make any sense to put her in an unfamiliar place to try and conjure the Patronus. It was hard enough to do already, and Remus didn't really think that Halley would be able to do it.

She was a talented student no doubt; powerful, according to the rest of the staff, but there was no way that a thirteen-year-old would be able to produce a Patronus strong enough to withhold Dementors. And when she realised that, there wouldn't be much of a reason for them to keep meeting.

He'd hoped that their talks over the holidays would let him get to know her, but Halley was closed off. More than he would have expected from her. But maybe it was because she was in Slytherin. Merlin knew, the Slytherins hadn't ever been the warmest of the Houses.

A knock at his door broke Remus out of his thoughts and he went to open it. Halley was standing behind the door with a small smile and a determined look etched into her too-green eyes.

"Good evening, Halley," he said.

"Evening sir."

She stepped into the room and walked in front of the stool she normally sat on. Remus enjoyed the fact that Halley sat in the same chair every time even though their meetings still felt awkward at times. It was somehow endearing.

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.

Halley shook her head. "I'd really rather we start," she said eagerly.

"Of course." He waited for her to take off her cloak and place it down carefully before he asked her to sit. He pulled up his own chair and took out his wand. Remus brought forth his happiest memory and spoke the spell.

Immediately the warm orange light was replaced by the familiar blue-tinted white, and a wolf was in front of him. Remus smiled as the wolf looked around and focused on Halley, walking slowly towards her.

"It's alright," he said as the wolf came up to her, sniffing slightly. "He won't hurt you." The wolf then nuzzled up to Halley and Remus heard her gasp.

He was familiar with that feeling; protection, warmth, and love. It was overwhelming at times, but there was little else more comforting than the touch of a Patronus. He cancelled the spell a moment later.

"What was that?" Halley asked.

"That was the Patronus charm," he said. "It's highly advanced magic - well beyond OWLs and some would argue NEWTs too."

"How does it work?" she asked, leaning forward ever so slightly in her stool.

"What do you already know about Dementors?" he asked.

Halley looked angry. It wasn't a significant difference, but her brows tensed and she frowned. "They're dark creatures. They guard Azkaban. No-one knows where they come from, how they reproduce or how to destroy them. No-one knows what they are, only that they feed on positivity."

Remus nodded, impressed with what she had learnt. "Very good. Only, they don't feed on positivity, they feed on positive emotions. In their wake, they leave behind depression and despair. They take hope, happiness - the desire to survive even."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He shook his head. "That's not necessarily important to understanding how to use the Patronus."

Halley didn't look happy about that, but she didn't press for more information.

"So," he continued, "a Patronus is a sort of projection of the very thing that Dementors feed upon but because it can't feel despair, like humans, the Dementors can't hurt it."

She frowned. "But surely they would just be an endless source of...food. If it's what the Dementors feed on, then wouldn't they feed on a Patronus forever?"

Remus understood why she was a good student now. "You would think so, wouldn't you? But this is where the intention behind casting is important. The Patronus Charm is a branch of Histrionic magic. In its simplest form, it's magic that requires an overwhelming emotion to perform."

"Like the Unforgivables?" she asked carefully.

Halley looked at him warily and Remus was left wondering just how she had learnt about those curses so young. Was it because of Slytherin? Was it because she had researched how her parents had died?

He wished she didn't know about it. And he wished even more that she didn't understand the intricacies of the curses so well that she could name other Histrionic spells.

"Yes, like the Unforgivables," he said, careful not to let his emotions show. "The intention behind the Patronus is very often to protect, and so the basis of any positive emotion you draw on to cast is to protect. Because of how strong that intention is, Dementors can't feed off a Patronus."

She nodded slowly as the information sunk in. Then she stood up. It was abruptly enough that it startled Remus, but he gathered himself and stood up from his own chair.

"So how do you conjure it?" she asked. "What's the incantation? What are the wand movements?"

"Like this -" Remus joined her on her side of the room and showed her the incantation. It was almost like a cursive J. In fact, the first time he'd learnt to cast it, he hadn't been able to because it had reminded him so much of the hours his mother had made him practice. But the flow of the movements was easy to pick up and soon Halley was saying the incantation and performing the movements perfectly.

"Very good," he praised her. She gave him a tight smile. "Now you need to concentrate with all your might on a single, very happy, memory."

Her smile tensed. "A happy memory?"

"Yes," he said, looking at how tense she had suddenly become. Her eyebrows were ever so slightly pinched and he could hear the slightly increased breath intake.

"What kind? Does it have to be...earth-shatteringly happy? Can it be...I don't know - a time where you're content or…"

Was she panicking? Remus wasn't sure, and he wasn't close enough to the full moon for his senses to be that enhanced. But he was concerned about the line of questioning. It was almost like she didn't know what happiness was.

"I can share mine with you if you'd like."

"Yes, please."

He swallowed and thought about how to edit the memory. "Mine is the first moment I realised that James, Peter and I were friends. That they trusted me and would be behind me no matter what happened." The day the Marauders accepted him and his 'furry little condition.'

They'd figured it out somehow - it had always surprised Remus when they proved they were actually clever - and had cornered him. Remus had broken down and promised he wasn't going to hurt them. That he was doing everything he could to keep it under control.

James had cocked a brow and run a hand through his unkempt hair. "Calm down Remus. We're not going to say anything. You're our best mate!"

Peter had promised that it was fine, and asked if there was anything they could do to help him. Sirius had laughed and said now they didn't have to go easy on him in Quidditch anymore.

"And Black?" she asked.

Remus stumbled backwards and looked at Halley with wide eyes. "How did you know?!"

"People talk."

"Did - do you -"

"There's nothing I can do about Black right now," she said. "The Ministry will either find him or they won't. And I don't remember him. I don't have any ties to him. I don't have ties to anyone so I can't waste my energy on something that happened twelve years ago, professor. What I can do is learn this charm so I can protect myself."

She said it so casually, with so much separation, that Remus couldn't talk for a moment. There was something...not right with Halley. It...it was...something had happened to her, and Remus wondered if it was the thing that had happened in the Chamber of Secrets, or whether there was something else as well. Because Halley just didn't behave like a child was supposed to. Not - not really.

Remus swallowed. "I'm - how long have you known?"

"Since September."

That meant that she'd known all this time. And she wasn't scared. She wasn't crying or asking for help - not about Black. But she was asking for help from him about this.

"I'm so-"

"I don't want to talk about it. Please, Remus."

A part of him knew that she was trying to sway the conversation away. Trying to manipulate him, maybe, by using his first name for the first time. And he wanted to ignore that part of him because she was opening up. She was telling him things. And maybe he could help her.

Remus had promised himself that he wouldn't push. Halley wasn't James. Nor was she Lilly. If she didn't want to talk, then who was he to insert himself into her life? But it was harder than he'd expected.

And he couldn't ignore it. People didn't just turn out the way she was. Something had happened.

"Alright," he breathed out, "alright. Let's get back to the lesson." It seemed like Halley was giving him a moment to find his centre again because she just stood there, fiddling with her wand in her hand, looking at him.

It was hard to have her watch him so intently. He didn't think she knew what she was doing, staring like that. Remus had seen her in his classes, alert and taking in everything. Not just information but everything. He knew from experience how tiring that was.

"What did you feel?" Halley asked finally, quietly.

"I - the moment was so pure, so full of relief and genuine tear-inducing joy."

"Does it still feel that way even though Black betrayed them?"

"Yes." Somehow it hadn't changed the feeling. It was more like there was an added layer to it - the bittersweetness of naivete and youth. But if Remus concentrated hard enough then he could still feel it.

Halley hummed and went quiet for a long time. The only sound was their breaths and the occasional sound of footsteps in the hallways as the Prefects patrolled or students rushed back to their dorms before curfew. Then she raised her wand and spoke the spell. "Expecto patronum."

Nothing happened.

"Is your memory strong enough?" he asked.

"I'll try another one."

She gathered herself and tried again. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

This went on for another five minutes before Halley huffed angrily and stomped to the stool, sitting down.

"What's your memory?" Remus asked.

"Getting my Hogwarts letter."

"What did you feel?" he asked.

"Hope."

Was that it? And why was she feeling hope? Before he could ask, Halley elaborated.

"I hoped there would be people like me. That I would fit in. That I wouldn't be a - be odd."

Remus perched against his desk and watched her defeated form. "Hope for acceptance?" he asked.

She twitched and nodded. Halley made a movement with her hands, as if she were going to bring them around herself, but then stopped. Instead, she looked up at Remus. "Is that a strong enough memory?" she asked.

"I...can't answer that. I think you're the only one that can."

She nodded and gave a tight smile like it had been the answer she was expecting. "Well, I suppose I'll just try again, right?"

"Actually," he stopped her from moving, "I think that you've done a lot today. It might be better if we stop now; you can try and solidify your memory for our next lesson."

Halley sighed softly. "That's probably a better idea. I'm a little bit tired," she said.

"That's normal. It's because of how advanced the magic is."

"Good to know."

Remus smiled. Then, before she could leave, he stopped her. "I would suggest looking into meditation. It can clear the mind - help your thoughts and emotions better - and maybe even help you deal with the stress of...everything."

She tilted her head like she was thinking about it. "I'll look into it. Thank you, Remus."

The two exchanged goodnights, Remus giving her a note in case she came across any Prefects wondering why she was out past curfew, and then waited a few minutes, making sure that she was out of that section of the castle.

He needed to talk to Snape.

Snape all but slammed the door in his face as soon as he realised who it was, but Remus stopped him with one hand on the door.

"Kindly remove your hand from my door." The insult wasn't spoken but they both knew Severus would gladly call him what he truly was. A werewolf.

Remus removed his hand. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you about one of your Slytherins."

"I don't want to talk about Potter anymore than I want to talk to you."

Remus winced. "I understand. I just wanted to know if there was something...wrong with her."

Snape stared at him with cold eyes. He'd perfected that glare, Remus thought, it was somehow more piercing than it had been in their school days. Of course, it had more weight after their Sixth Year.

"I wondered how long it would take you to show that Gryffindor bias, Lupin," Snape said.

It took a moment for Remus to register the words, and he blinked confusedly after he finally did.

"Is there any particular reason - other than the obvious trouble the girl gets herself into each year - that you think there is something wrong with Potter?" Snape asked.

"I don't think you should dismiss whatever happened to her last year," Remus said quickly.

"Dumbledore is keeping an eye on the girl. She's been given instructions on what to do if she has any concerns."

"So there is something wrong?" Remus asked. Why didn't Dumbledore talk to him about it? It wasn't like Remus had much of a right to know what was going on in her life, but the headmaster knew how much he cared about Halley.

The whole staff had been surprisingly tight-lipped about what had happened last year. Remus was given the bare basics of the situation - the Chamber of Secrets had been opened. A First Year student, Ginevra Weasley, had died and Halley had gotten caught up in the middle of it all somehow.

The very fact that the school hadn't closed down was a testament to the faith people still had in Albus Dumbledore. And the fact that Hogwarts - even still - was the safest place for their children. Though Remus also suspected that it was largely due to the fact that the Weasley's hadn't commented on the death of their youngest at all.

"If you're so concerned with the girl, then why not bother her with all these questions?" Snape asked.

"I tried," Remus said lamely, "she said she was fine." But she wasn't. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions about her being wrong in a fundamental sense - he couldn't ignore the itching at the back of his mind about just how she had survived the killing curse and what that meant for her - but Halley was still incredibly closed off.

She didn't seem to trust anyone and when he'd spoken to McGonagall about her, she'd said that Halley had yet to make any friends.

"Then why are you wasting my time?" Snape asked. "Whatever guilt you're feeling has less than nothing to do with me. Though I'd wager it's more the guilt of not seeing her once as she grew up, right Lupin?"

Remus' lip twitched in controlled anger and he looked away. Snape used that distraction to slam the door on him. Remus only barely moved his foot away in time to avoid it being clipped by the wood.

That was the truth of the matter, wasn't it? Remus hadn't been there for her, and now he was practically a stranger to Halley.

But despite that, something was telling him that there was a problem with the young girl. The werewolf curse was something he loathed, but the instincts of an animal - especially a magical one - were always stronger than a human's.

The last time he'd ignored it, James and Lily had died. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

AN: Big thank you to my Beta readers who help me catch the nitty-gritty parts and the odd parts. How did you all feel about this chapter? I would love to hear some feedback. Also, I won't be posting next week as I am away on holiday. So I'll see you all in two weeks time.