AN: Hellooo! I'm back from my break, got chapter 24 written (it's not taken me so long to figure out a chapter in a while) and I've pretty much planned out how I want this year to end. Overall a productive break I would say :D

I haven't done this in a while, but I'd like to thank my betas: WithPatienceComesPeace and CleverMird for their help with everything so far. It's been a wild ride I'm sure.

Now. On with the angst!

Chapter 20: Now I'm all grown up and nothing has changed

For the third time that year, Halley woke up in the Infirmary, only this time there was a burning pain all over her arms and along her chest.

She moaned out, trying to move away from the pain but found that her arms were wound tightly with bandages that oozed some sort of foul smell that almost made her gag. There was an odour that travelled down her nose and rested on her tongue, coating it with the sweet scent. Sweet and somewhat sickly.

Halley had smelt it before when a cut had been infected. She rolled onto her side, keeping the bile from rising and breathing through her mouth in short breaths. The air tasted sharp, like mint or eucalyptus. It cut into her throat as she breathed in.

What happened?

As usual, Madame Pomfrey was quick to be at her side. But rather than the usual annoyance that was on her face, Halley saw worry. Maybe even fear. "Halley - you're awake. Do you feel any itching or numbness under your skin?"

"It hurts," she said hoarsely.

Madame Pomfrey took out her wand and tapped it against the bandages. They melted away, leaving a gruesome sight. Halley's arms were covered with large, red, puckered marks. They looked inflamed and infected; pus was oozing out of some of the marks, thick and an off-yellow that slid down her arms. There had to be at least ten that were like that, and the smell was putrid. Worse now that her arms were out in the open.

Madame Pomfrey pursed her lips. "Better that it hurts than something else. You were lucky Mr Rowle was around."

"What happened?" Halley asked.

"There is a type of spider that is native to Great Britain called the False Widow. The non-magical variant is typically harmless but the magical ones will bite and inject their eggs into the host's body, effectively laying parasitic eggs. You were bitten by these spiders and - as it happens - you are also highly allergic to their venom."

Halley's breath shortened and her eyes grew wide at Madame Pomfrey's words. "Are they in me?"

"No. We got them out before the eggs were laid, but the tonic that expels them is highly acidic. We needed to know how you felt before we closed the wounds in case any were missed."

"So they're gone?" she asked again.

"They're gone, Halley."

Halley swallowed. She hated spiders.

There were so many in the cupboard and when she was younger, the feel of them crawling on her skin would wake her up in the night. As young as four or five, she remembered being scared that they would crawl into her ears or her mouth when she was sleeping.

Now she knew the fear was justified.

Madame Pomfrey paused for a moment and then sat on her bed, stroking her hair gently. The repetitive motion brought her out of her horrified thoughts first, and the feeling of a kind touch brought tears to her eyes.

She cried. Big tears. Shuddering breaths. Why did this keep happening to her?

The whole while Madame Pomfrey kept stroking her hair, a handkerchief at the ready. She didn't speak - Halley was grateful for that - she just sat there. When Halley was done, however long that had taken, Madame Pomfrey vanished the handkerchief and conjured her a glass of water.

"They've been suspended," she said.

Halley nodded, swallowing down the stone in her throat with the cool water, but held onto the glass so there was something to do with her hands. But there was nothing left to say about that.

Madame Pomfrey began healing her bites with a salve that smelled like peppermint. It stung, but it was nothing she couldn't deal with. As the minutes went on, the burning lessened and the pus slowly drained out of the wounds. Soon there were only dots to indicate anything had happened, and Halley was left to think about magic.

Things never seemed permanent when there was a spell or a potion to fix it. Except...sometimes they were. Magic couldn't fix death. Not truly. The Weasleys had done something that could have killed her if she wasn't lucky. Would they have cared? Or was that what they wanted? An eye for an eye.

She hated them.

Hated that they had made her so afraid. Hated that she would have died in panic, fear and shame. Hated that they would have smiled about it.

But she wouldn't do anything. Not now. They were gone and when they came back, Halley would stay away from them. She would get stronger and they wouldn't ever be able to do something like that to her again.

Eventually, Madame Pomfrey left to deal with other students, but she kept people away from Halley. It was another thing that she appreciated so much about the Matron; somehow, Madame Pomfrey always knew just when and how many visitors Halley wanted to see. And it wasn't very often that she had them, but she always tried to keep them away.

Halley was kept in the Infirmary overnight to make sure that she didn't have a secondary reaction to the venom.

The next time she woke up, Rowle was sitting across from her, reading a book and making notes on an empty piece of paper. He looked contorted, sitting in the too-small chair and hunching his too-large frame over his lap while he struggled to keep the paper steady, and the book in the other hand.

And he was wearing glasses. She'd never seen him in glasses before. The whole image was taking too much for her pain-filled mind to process, so Halley tried to go back to sleep. But she must have shifted, or made a sound because Rowle looked up. His grey eyes looked slightly red and bleary in the dim lights of the candles.

"Finally. Pomfrey told me to wait till you were awake to administer the next set of potions -"

What?

"- but honestly Potter, you slept like the dead. I had to check to see if you were still breathing."

"Stop talking," she croaked out. Her throat was hoarse and dry, and it hurt to swallow.

As she regained consciousness, the pain in her arms started to intensify again. It got to the point where she had to shift her legs in order to take her mind off of it, but she refused to let herself cry again. Not in front of Rowle.

She tried to get up but hissed. The pressure on her hands and arms sent burning up her arm. Halley squinted, trying to keep the pain at bay. Then, a hand was at her back and Halley flinched away aggressively from it.

"Don't touch me!"

"Woah! It's just me," he said.

"Don't touch me."

"You looked like you were struggling. I was just going to help you sit up," Rowle said.

"I don't need your help," she said

Rowle narrowed his brows. The motion moved his circular glasses down his nose slightly. He pushed them back up before folding his arms. "Go ahead then. Sit up."

Halley glared. "Why are you even here?"

"I apprentice under Madame Pomfrey some evenings." The matter-of-fact way he spoke surprised her. Or maybe it was the fact that Rowle was wasting his time apprenticing under a healer. She didn't think he had any aspirations other than being a condescending dick.

"That doesn't answer my question," she bit out. The pain was getting to be a lot now. She thought the question would get him to look away, but he was still watching her. And she felt small under his gaze.

"I'm here to administer your next set of pain relief potions."

"How do I know you aren't here to poison me?"

"Merlin, Potter! Do you want the potions or not?" Then it was like he was actually assessing her. His eyes roamed over her blanket-covered body, and something that looked like concern passed over his face. "It's been hours. How are you not screaming in pain yet? You're not numb, are you?"

He stood up, and as he did glass clacked against each other from the inside of his white robes. She'd only just noticed his white robes. But then he moved towards her again.

"Don't -" she felt a spike of fear make her body clench. "I want the potions."

Rowle hummed, but he got the glass bottles out quickly and handed them to her. It was a struggle to cup them with the bandages still around her arms, but she managed. The relief was immediate; the potions felt like they were moving through her bloodstream, cooling down the burning areas, first from her elbows, then forearms, then down to the palms of her hands and tips of her fingers.

Halley let out a sigh of relief. And with the relief came some clarity in her mind.

"You must have some tolerance there, Potter."

She wasn't in the mood for him to sit there and try to figure out her weaknesses. In all honesty, Halley just wanted to fall back asleep. Potions were great, but Madame Pomfrey insisted that she'd need to sleep in order to have them be as effective as they should be. And she was tired. Subtlety could piss right off.

"Thanks, I guess. I want to go back to sleep now."

But he didn't leave. Instead, he regarded her. "What are you going to do when the Weasleys come back?"

"Nothing."

He rolled his eyes. "Even if you were serious about that, and there's no way you would just do nothing , it's a stupid tactic. They'll find other ways of coming after you."

Like she hadn't already thought of that. "And what would you have me do, Rowle? Fight them? Two on one?"

Rowle put his hands into the pockets of his robes, oh-so-casually, and smiled at her with that annoyingly smug look she'd come to associate with him. "You learn to deul."

Halley sorted. "And who's going to teach me? Professor Flitwick?"

"Me."

Now it was her turn to look at him. SHe didn't see anything exemplary, but he must have to be Head Boy. Rowle didn't stand out in his year other than that title, and the rumours about his prowess in bed. But here he was, apprenticing under Madame Pomfrey, playing in the Quidditch games, being Head Boy and never having had a detention to his name. And in all of that, Rowle still held a fair amount of power over his peers.

Why was that?

"I'm tired, Rowle. I just want to sleep."

Her answer shocked him, she could see that, but it didn't faze him. Rowle shrugged and took out his wand running one last diagnostic check on her. "The potions should last till tomorrow, and by then you'll have healed enough not to need them. If you need anything, call me or Pomfrey. Night Potter."

She didn't respond. The lights were dimmed low enough that she could sleep if she wanted to, but now there was too much to think about. When she did finally sleep, it was fitful.

That night, Sirius Black broke into Gryffindor House again - this time with the passwords - and the whole school was once again left on edge. Halley would have thought that Dumbledore would do something about it, but all that happened was that the upcoming Hogsmede trip had been cancelled.

Maybe it was because Black had proven that he could get into the castle somehow. If it was the case, Hogwarts was worse than she had come to understand.

When she did leave the infirmary, Davis was all too happy to smugly stare at Halley. Whether it was because she'd helped the twins get there, she had been injured, or because Davis still thought at Black was after her was anyone's guess.

Whatever the case, Halley was now halfway convinced that Black wasn't after her. It just didn't make any sense.

"Why Gryffindor? Why the boys ' dorms?" She challenged Greengrass while they were helping her catch up with the homework she'd missed when she was finally let out of the Infirmary.

"He's mad?" Greengrass asked.

"He was sane enough to escape Azkaban, though," Halley said.

"Potter's right," Parkinson said. "It's odd."

Greengrass shook her head, disagreeing. Halley wasn't surprised; Greengrass had been the most cautious out of all of them. "Then what was he doing there?" she asked. "If not because of some insane need to go after Halley?"

They looked between each other in silence. Eventually, Parkinson shrugged. "Well if he's not going after Potter, then that's one less thing we need to worry about."

The notion went against the very core of Halley's instinct but she kept quiet. It wasn't like she could do much anyways. And so long as he stayed away from Slytherin, she could focus on other things. Like her Patronus.

Halley looked carefully at the parchment that was in her hands. The map was alive - or at least that was how it seemed to her. Footsteps with name tags scattered across the page at their own pace and in their own routines, and somewhere among them she stood side by side with Professor Lupin.

"This was how they managed it?" she asked. This was how the twins had managed to know where she was at all times. Professor Lupin shifted uncomfortably at the question but he nodded.

"They must have found it after it had been confiscated from us."

"How does it work?"

"It's a glorified Homunculus charm. It took an awful lot of parchment before we could get it to work like it was supposed to. Your father was the one to put the final pieces together."

Halley wasn't sure what to say to that, but in the end, she nodded. "Are you letting me keep this?"

Professor Lupin paused. She could see the thoughts going through his mind. He must have been weighing up how dangerous the map was; she would be if she were him. If this was something that could quite literally track everyone in the castle then should it really be in the hands of students? He must have come to a decision though because he let out a sigh. "Be careful with it," he said.

"Ok," she replied. She tapped her wand and uttered the phrase to secure the map before putting it away. This was going to be useful later. She would need to show Greengrass and Parkinson at some point.

If the map still worked once a student graduated then she would know immediately if Black or Riddle came onto the grounds - well she couldn't be sure about Riddle. Not till it was potentially too late.

The map seemed to have a fairly adequate layout of the castle, though from the quick glance she'd not seen the Chamber of Secrets. Though, why would it? Her father and his friends were all Gryffindors.

"Are you ready then?" Professor Lupin asked. She knew he wasn't just asking her if she was prepared. He was asking if she could handle it today.

Halley nodded. Whether she was strong enough to do the spell or not was irrelevant. She was going to.

They worked on it for the better part of an hour, but it seemed like the more she tried, the worse she was getting and the further away her goal was.

"I can't do it!" she yelled. She'd never wanted to stomp her feet and throw her wand so much. The only thing that was stopping her was the idea that she would be no better than Malfoy by throwing a tantrum, or Dudley as he whined about the number of presents he got.

But she was so angry,

This was the one spell that would stop her from succumbing to a dementor attack, and she couldn't do it!

Professor Lupin stood up and tentatively put an arm on her shoulder. Halley tried not to tense up - she knew he always felt bad when she did that - but it was nowhere near as comforting as Madame Pomfrey's had been.

"It hasn't been that long," he said. "You're doing marvellously."

"No I'm not!" she yelled. "I've not even made a whisper. I haven't - I'm not -" I'm not right.

The thought glared at her and Halley couldn't stop it. How useless was she that she couldn't even conjure up a happy thought to think about?

How damaged was she that nothing had made her happy in her whole thirteen years of being alive?

"Stop that!"

Professor Lupin's hands came down firmly over hers, prying them open. She hadn't even realised that she had started pinching herself. Her arm throbbed when she let go, but his stayed over them.

"You're doing well. This spell is hard - most adults can't manage it."

That didn't make her feel any better but she let her hands fall to her sides. It was only when they were safely away from her arms that Professor Lupin let them go.

"Halley…" he paused, gearing himself up for what he was about to ask her. "Did - did the Dursely's ever...do something to you?"

She closed up immediately and his heart sank.

"No."

The denial sealed it for him; if she hadn't then maybe she would have asked him what he'd meant. Remus swallowed down the anger that came to the forefront so easily now. It wasn't about him.

"You can tell me if you want," he said.

"Nothing has happened. "

"Halley -"

"No!" she yelled. "I don't need you to try and fix anything for me. Just teach me how to cast this Patronus." Her green eyes blazed with anger and Remus had to look away at the reminder of Lily. Of how he'd failed.

"You can't stay there if -"

Halley laughed. Her head was thrown back and the laughter felt like it was pouring out of her mouth uncontrollably.

"I don't have a choice," she said when she'd calmed down enough to talk.

"You do. We can tell Dumbledore -"

"He already knows."

Remus reeled backwards like he'd been slapped in the face. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Dumbledore wouldn't let her stay in an abusive household if he knew exactly what was going on.

"What does he know?" Remus choked out.

"He knows where I live. He knows - he knows. And every summer I go back like nothing is wrong."

Remus shook his head. It wasn't - it couldn't be true. Surely Halley was mistaken about something. There was just no way that it would happen.

"Halley…"

"You don't believe me," she said blandly.

"I just can't see how Albus Dumbledore would -"

"That's fine." She got up and seemed to already be grabbing her cloak and her bookbag before Remus was able to comprehend anything else. "I'm a little worn out now, I think."

"What? What's - wait, Halley - " but she was already at the door. "I didn't - I didn't mean that I don't believe you," Remus said.

Halley stopped and turned her head towards him. She watched him for what felt like an eternity, her eyes dull and sad. Remus had never felt so much like scum as when she looked at him like that.

And then she smiled a small smile that didn't meet her eyes.

"Thank you for your help, Professor. Goodnight."

19th October 1991

Professor Snape was one of the more menacing teachers at Hogwarts as Halley had come to find. He was also the most vindictive.

Halley's first class had been full-on intimidation tactics on his part; he'd ridiculed her sense of self, called her arrogant, obnoxious and fame-hungry. She'd given him a level stare - something she wouldn't have done to the Dursley's because they would have beaten her.

He had curled his lip in disgust and looked away from her eyes. It was a small win but something substantial, especially because he was her head of House.

Halley was learning that there were rules to living in Slytherin, there was a hierarchy based on your blood status and while it wasn't as predominant now in their first year, it was definitely something to be taken seriously.

She was lucky; the Potters - though not a 'Dark' family - went back centuries. They were distinguished, she was distinguished, though they were reluctant to admit it as she was a half-blood.

Even still, she would be Lady Potter. The Slytherin's expected things of her that she didn't know were even to be expected. She refused to throw away the traditions of her family, of her culture but it was taking a very, very long time to disentangle all the idiosyncrasies that came with being a Potter in Slytherin.

What she had learnt however was you were not to show weakness. It was almost rule number one.

So, the fact that Professor Snape had looked away was a sign that there was something that she had over him. If only she knew what it was.

With her small triumph under her belt, she collected her belongings at the end of the lesson, placed her almost perfect potion on his desk and waited for all the students to leave. "Leave Potter."

Halley stood fast. She waited for him to look up, but he didn't. She almost smiled; he was refusing to give any more ground than he had already given. She waited three minutes and he didn't look up, only continued marking the work they'd given in today. She was lucky this was her last lesson of the day. He was not.

"Would you set up a meeting with the headmaster please, Professor Snape?"

He didn't look up. "Why would you want that?"

Halley took a moment to choose her words carefully; where did his loyalties lie? The Groundskeeper had all but blushed with pride when he'd told her he'd taken her from the rubble of her home and placed her with the Dursley's under Dumbledore's orders. That meant what Dumbledore said was valued. That he had influence. And that he'd know why Halley had been left there.

Because if Dumbeldore knew where she was then Halley assumed he would have checked in on her every so often.

No. There was a reason no-one had come to get her from her home, and she was sure that Hannah had notified someone about her treatment, but nothing had been done. She was sure it was foul play.

And Halley had gotten the impression that Dumbledore was one of the most influential wizards in the country and therefore he would have supporters. Was Professor Snape one of them? And if so, how loyal was he?

Maybe it was better to just play it safe for the moment until she found out. "Professor Dumbledore found me in the rubble. I just wanted to know if anything of my parents was left behind."

His lip curled again but this time, Professor Snape merely nodded. Halley could see something in his eyes, but she wasn't sure what it was yet. Whatever she had said had once again affected her Head of House.

Professor Snape arranged it so that she could meet with the Headmaster the next day after dinner. He led her through the halls until they got to a large gargoyle statue. The password was something that sounded vaguely sweet and somehow horrifying as well – blood pops. Halley wasn't sure she wanted to know.

But the gargoyle leapt to the side and Professor Snape looked down at her one more time and then left without a goodbye. Halley took that to mean she should talk to the Headmaster by herself.

So, she walked carefully up the large curving stone steps.

Halley knocked on the door, out of breath, and waited. The door opened itself to present Professor Dumbledore sitting at his large claw-footed desk. Halley took a few steps inside and took note of her surroundings. Out of all the offices she'd been in – not that she'd been in many – the headmaster's was the oddest.

It seemed to be a mishmash of lots of different things including a Phoenix and the Sorting Hat. The Hat she'd not seen since the Sorting Ceremony at the start of term, but it looked folded in on itself like it was asleep.

The Phoenix she'd never seen before, but she knew that Dumbledore had one as a familiar. The bird was perched on top of a large tree branch and seemed to be grooming its feathers. It was magnificent.

A pulse of guilt flushed through her. Hedwig was hers. She didn't need to think that way about any other bird. But the Phoenix did have a majesty to it that was hard to ignore.

"His name is Fawkes," the Headmaster said in a serene voice.

Halley looked at him when he spoke, but she quickly turned back to look at Fawkes. "He's beautiful."

"He is," the Headmaster said. "A rare sight to see nowadays, I'm afraid."

Halley nodded, still looking at the bird. Fawkes had stopped preening and had cocked his head at her. He gave a little trill and his head jostled his feathers in a way that made Halley giggle to herself.

She wanted to stroke the bird, but she wouldn't. She didn't have permission.

"You wanted to see me, Halley?"

Halley turned her full attention to the Professor. It was intimidating to look at the man, even though he had never done anything to hurt her, but she could feel a presence around him. Strong and commanding, even if he smiled well.

She asked him her questions, and he was sympathetic about it but there was very little that had survived the attack on Godric's Hollow. Anything else was likely in her vault and she'd be able to access it on her fifteenth birthday.

Halley said she understood and, as the conversation began to draw to a close, she started getting anxious. There was one more thing she wanted to ask but...should she?

"Is there something else?" the Headmaster asked gently.

"Sir…" she hesitated because she didn't know how to phrase this one. Not this time. "I…I – is there anyone else I can live with?"

Dumbledore looked at her closely. "Is something wrong, Halley?"

She swallowed down the fear. "The Dursleys don't...like magic. They react...badly to it."

His eyes hardened and she flinched before she could control the response.

"Do they hurt you, my girl?" he asked.

Halley shrunk back in her chair at how directly he'd asked her. No-one had ever done that before. Teachers skirted around it before seeming to forget, Hannah left all the time she made promises to get her help. The neighbours just glared at her.

She didn't want to rock the boat, it went against everything she had ever been taught, but she couldn't stand the thought of how the Dursley's would react after spending a year at Hogwarts. After she'd been around and soaked in magic for a year.

"Yes, sir," she said quietly.

She felt the air change. Something more dangerous was in the air now, and she knew enough to know that she should get out of the vicinity as quickly as she could but she didn't want to make the Headmaster angrier if she moved. So Halley stayed still.

Sometimes this worked with the Dursleys too.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Halley."

Halley looked up when the atmosphere calmed down a little but she refused to look him in the eye. "Does that mean that I can go somewhere else in the summer?" she whispered.

Dumbledore sighed and Halley knew immediately that wasn't going to happen. She barely listened to the words that were coming out his mouth - familial protection, powerful magic. Something to keep Voldemort and his followers away - because the brief bit of hope that she'd had was gone.

Halley felt herself go numb. There was just no point. Hogwarts was supposed to keep her safe but if she had to go back to them at the end of it then there was just no point, was there?

And Dumbledore - as much as he said he would help - was going to let her go back there.

Just like everyone else.

AN: Hope everyone liked it! Or had a reaction to it at the very least. The next chapter is going to be a little side quest (not really little for them but hey ho) for Nariyah and Lysander. I liked writing those chapters out :)

I do want to let you guys know that I'll be starting a new job soon that will have me commenting about an hour and a half every day each way in November. It's only going to be for a few months while I get everything sorted out with a different job but I don't think that I'll be posting as frequently if I can't write a chapter out every two weeks. I know myself, and I know I'll get annoyed if I use up all my buffer chapters without writing anything.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend :)