Chapter 8

They had been in the cave for at least a couple hours, Charlotte had fallen asleep on a small ledge about an hour ago, leaving Bellamy and Kendra sitting in the small space in a slightly uncomfortable silence. They couldn't lay down because there was only enough room for them to lay right next to each other, which was far too close for either of them. So, they had to sit there, facing each other, neither one wanting to be the first to break the silence.

For the past fifteen minutes, Bellamy had not stopped staring at her. She kept shifting uncomfortably under his gaze, feeling like he was studying her every feature. Just as she was about to snap at him to ask him what the hell he wanted, he broke the silence first.

"I know who you are now."

She stilled at that, "What do you mean?"

"I've spent the last few days trying to figure out who the hell you are. But, it finally hit me. You said that you were infamous, you were in solitary, your threat about me finding out why you got locked up, why you can fight and have good aim. You're Kendra Taylor."

She sighed, resting her head against the wall behind her, "Congratulations, do you want a prize?"

He couldn't help his smirk, "Why, what are you offering, sunshine?"

She jerked her head back down to scowl at him, "Haven't I told you before to get your head out of the gutter?"

He just chuckled, before growing serious, "Can I ask you something?"

"I want to say no, but I have a feeling you'll ask anyways."

"Why did you do it? Why kill those guards?"

She narrowed her eyes, not really wanting to answer that, "What do people say?"

He shrugged, "A lot of things, but the biggest one was that you had a psychotic break. Some people said the stress of guard training got to you. Others said you had always been a bit too aggressive and those guards had been too hard on you in training. My favorite was that you were having an affair with one of them and he cheated on you, so you killed him and the other two were just witnesses you couldn't have."

"Wow, that last one was a little too close to the truth."

His eyes widened a bit as he looked at her, "Really?"

She scoffed, "No, you idiot."

"So, what is the real reason?"

She studied him, "What do you think it is?"

"I used to think it was the psychotic break thing, it was the only one that made sense to me."

"Used to?"

"Yeah, but now, I think that the only time I have thought you might be capable of killing someone is when I threatened Jasper. So, I'm thinking someone you loved was in danger and you reacted. I always assumed your family was floated as a punishment to you, but now I think maybe they were going to be floated anyways and you were not going to let that happen."

As he spoke, Kendra's face hardened more and more as he got closer and closer to the truth. She never responded, but her silence spoke volumes. He studied her face, seeing her jaw clench and unclench as she fought to control the sudden glistening in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," the words were barely a whisper, but when she looked at him, she saw the sincerity behind them. She just nodded at him, and their previous silence resumed its position.

Ooooooo

After another half an hour of silence, they could no longer fight the urge to sleep, so they compromised, their heads stayed on opposite sides of the cave, but their legs stretched out so one's feet was by the other's head.

They had been sleeping for a bit when a sudden cry made them both jump up, Kendra clutching her knife in one hand. They made eye contact as they realized the cry had come from Charlotte.

Bellamy immediately grabbed her arm, "Charlotte, wake up."

"I'm sorry," she all but whimpered.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. No need to be sorry," Kendra cooed, brushing her hair out of her face.

Bellamy glanced between the two, before his eyes settled on the young girl, "Does it happen often?"

Charlotte just sighed in response, so Bellamy tried again, "What are you scared of?"

She remained silent and Kendra looked at Bellamy as if to say really, that's all you got?

He shook his head, "You know what? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

Charlotte looked at him questioningly, "But, I'm asleep?" Kendra just watched, curious to see where he was going with this.

He shrugged, "Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you're awake and they won't be there to get you when you sleep."

Kendra furrowed her brows, not sure if slay was a great word to use, but okay.

Charlotte looked confused as well, "Yeah, but… how?"

Bellamy shook his head, "You can't afford to be weak," Kendra began to sit up even more, not liking where this was going, but he continued, "Down here, weakness is death. Fear is death."

"Um, okay, no, incorrect," Kendra decided to cut in, "Fear is not death and fear is not a weakness," she glared at Bellamy and turned back to Charlotte, "Everyone gets scared. Everyone has at least one thing they are afraid of. You know, I have nightmares too."

Charlotte looked up at her, "Really?"

"Yep. And they scare me. But the trick is to not let the fear take over. Bellamy was right about that, if you face and embrace your fears, it will be harder for them to get to you while you sleep. But don't you ever think you are weak because you get scared sometimes. The fact that you came with us today means you are very brave and strong. You just need to figure out how to stand up to the fear when it comes."

Charlotte looked between the two of them, "So, how do I do that?"

Bellamy stepped in again, "Let me see that knife I gave you," she passed it to him, and he continued, "Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife, and you say, 'Screw you, I'm not afraid."

Kendra watched as he passed the knife back to the young girl, and she gripped it and stated, "Screw you, I'm not afraid."

Bellamy smiled at her a little bit, giving her a look that said, this time like you mean it.

Charlotte gripped the knife even tighter and steeled her expression and said, with conviction, "Screw you. I'm not afraid."

Both Bellamy and Kendra smiled at her, and Bellamy pat her leg, "Slay your demons, kid. Then, you'll be able to sleep."

Kendra watched as Charlotte went to lay back down, she leaned over and kissed the top of her head, "Get some more sleep, kiddo," stroking her hair to help her fall back asleep.

She watched fondly as Charlotte closed her eyes, and her breathing fell into a steady rhythm, indicating that she was once again sleeping. As she watched Charlotte, Bellamy was watching her. He could not figure this girl out. She was fierce, cold, but hot-headed, and sometimes even vicious. But right now, she was comforting, she was warm, she was kind. Her glare could wither even the fiercest man, but her smile could light up a room. He hadn't seen her smile in quite a few days, and he didn't understand why that upset him more than it should. He shook his head, he needed to get it together. He was here to protect his sister; he could not afford any distractions.

She moved to settle into her spot again, but this time, she would be the one to break the silence.

"So, since you asked me a very personal question, can I ask you one now?"

He sighed, "I want to say no, but I have a feeling you'll ask anyways," he repeated her words from earlier with a wry smile.

"Who did you shoot to get on the dropship?"

His whole body jerked as he went completely rigid, "What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes, "Look, you know I was in training to be a guard. I know my guns. Wells only fired five shots at that animal that attacked us, and as far as I know, you have not fired that gun since we landed. And I know that those guns hold more than five bullets. So, you had to have used it before. It would make sense, someone gives you this job, says if you do it, they can get you on the dropship. You would have done anything to make sure you would be here to keep your sister safe. So, who did you have to shoot?"

He remained silent, his jaw clenched as they stared at each other. She spoke again, "It must have been someone important if you are so afraid of the Ark coming down here. That is the only things that makes sense as to why you are so against having them know we are surviving. You're afraid that if they come down, you'll be punished. So, it must have been bad. One of the council members maybe?"

She studied his reaction, "Kane, Clarke's mom… Chancellor Jaha?"

His eyes flashed and his fingers twitched at the mention of the Chancellor, but she didn't comment on it. That was interesting information for later, so she said instead, "Oh well, you don't have to tell me. I was just curious."

He just sat there, stoic as ever, and completely silent, so Kendra sighed, "Look, I'm not judging you. We have already established that I have killed three men to protect people I loved. I would be a hypocrite to judge you for doing whatever it took to protect Octavia. I was just trying to see if my guess was right."

He finally moved, his shoulders slumping as he sighed, "I guess I pressed you for personal information, I can't be mad at you for doing the same. But, you can't tell anyone. Octavia can't-"

"Okay. I won't tell anyone. As long as you keep my identity to yourself too."

"Can I ask why?"

She looked down, "I don't want people to think of me as Kendra Taylor, the girl who killed three guards on a psychotic break. I don't want them to look at me and see only what I did and fear me because what if I go crazy again. I want them to respect me and see me for who I really am."

Bellamy just stared, "Okay. I won't tell either."

"Thank you," the words were small and quiet, two adjectives he had never associated with anything that came out of her mouth.

They fell into a slightly more comfortable silence after that. Until Bellamy noticed that Kendra was shivering, he was confused until he remembered that Charlotte was currently using her jacket as a pillow. His jacket was being used as her blanket, but he was usually quite warm anyways, so he wasn't bothered. It looked like Kendra was though. He debated a bit with himself but sighed and broke the silence again.

"Hey, you're shivering."

She looked at him like he was dumb, "Wow, really? I hadn't noticed."

He rolled his eyes at her sarcasm, "I've been told I am a good heater; you can come over here of you want."

She eyed him suspiciously, "Who said that?"

"Octavia has always gotten cold very easily, but we couldn't exactly have extra clothes or blankets, so…"

"Oh."

He made a point to scoot over and looked at her expectantly, quirking an eyebrow in question. She watched him with narrowed eyes, weighing the pros and cons in her mind. Pros: she might get warm and could finally stop shaking, if she was warm she could fall asleep, if she was asleep she wouldn't have to stay up and worry about Jasper. Cons: it would be Bellamy Blake making her warm, she would be sleeping next to Bellamy Blake, and… damn.

She sighed as she moved so that they were now next to each other. Their arms touched and she couldn't help but agree with Octavia, his skin was warm against her freezing arm and she had to stop herself from just laying on top of him, to get maximum warmth. Bellamy shifted so he was now laying down and she slowly followed suit. Her whole body was tense already, but she froze as he threw an arm around her middle.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed out.

"Warming you up? Was that not the plan?"

"Well, I – this is not quite what I had in mind?"

"Oh really? I mean I can think of a couple other things we could do to warm you up, but I wasn't sure you would be up for it." She could hear the smirk in his voice even if she couldn't see his face.

"Bellamy!" She could feel his chuckle against her arm.

"Kidding, sunshine."

"Good, because there's a child present. Otherwise, I would say fair game."

This time she laughed as he froze and sputtered an unintelligible response. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Um, I was not expecting that response."

She just laughed, "I like to keep you on your toes, Freckles."

He could barely contain the smile threatening to break out, instead he grabbed her and adjusted her so her back was against his chest. He smirked as he heard her breath catch in her throat at the movement. She was about to move away, but then she felt the warmth on her back and the shivers slowly stopped and she sighed.

He must have noticed because he said, "See, isn't that better?"

She just grumbled out, "Whatever."

They were silent for a bit, and Kendra thought he had fallen asleep, and she was close to sleep herself when he spoke again, "You know, I wasn't going to drop you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"When you fell into that trap. When we were getting Jasper. You said 'don't you dare let go.' I wasn't going to."

"Oh."

"I just wanted you to know that. We may not get along all the time, but I wouldn't let you die. Especially not like that."

"Oh. Um, thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome. Good night, Sleeping Beauty."

She wanted to come up with a clever response, but as her body warmed up, she felt herself falling into a deep slumber. When she woke up a few hours later, she would deny it, but she let herself savor a few extra moments of lying there in Bellamy's embrace, her back to his chest and his head resting lightly on hers, with one arm around her middle and the other under her head, as a pillow. When she realized just how comfortable she felt in that position is when she jolted up, waking him as well. Charlotte was already awake, and she had a small smile on her face as she watched the two scramble away from each other. Kendra made eye contact with Bellamy and watched as the conflict danced in his eyes as it so often did when they stared. Kendra broke first, clearing her throat and stating that she was going to see if the fog was gone yet. And Bellamy would deny the fact that he had already been awake for about ten minutes, not wanting to disturb the girl asleep in his arms. It was just because she was obviously tired, and he didn't want to deal with her arguing with him yet. Not because he wanted to embrace the feeling of her in his arms and relish in the fact that she felt safe with him. Definitely not.

A/N: Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! This was one of my favorites to write so far, mainly because this was one of the main scenes I had swirling around in my head for so long, so I hope I did it justice! Now that you are starting to learn a bit more about Kendra and her past, I want to know what you all think of her? And what you think of her and Bellamy? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? I'm just curious! And if anyone has any ideas for a ship name for them I would love to hear it! So please leave a review, any opinions and input are appreciated! Thanks!