Prompt: "Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?" "Do you not like zucchini?" (I 23)

This drabble is an A/U of Harry's summer after his sixth year with Sirius still alive and having not broken up with Ginny at Dumbledore's funeral. It takes place at the Dursleys where Harry deals with Dudley rubbing a new girlfriend in his face while away from Ginny. This drabble is rated T, very soft M.

Note: this prompt is not on my bingo card.

The fact that Dudley Dursley had a girlfriend shocked and surprised Harry Potter very much when he arrived back at Privet Drive for the summer after just finishing his sixth year. It was more the fact his bully of a cousin had somehow manage to convince a girl to go out with him. He had seen the couple of times Dudley had tried to flirt with girls in the neighbourhood, only to be turned down time and time again since he had either stolen from or beaten up a brother, cousin, or male friend of their's. Harry secretly wondered if the girl was just a ditz. She certainly acted like it the few times he had seen the girl in the week he'd been home from Hogwarts. Her name was Courtney something-or-other as he didn't get to hear what her last name was before she delved into a fit of shrill giggles when Dudley approached her the first time Harry met her.

The Dursleys, Courtney, and Harry had just finished up a late dinner with Harry having to wash the dishes afterwards. On his way out of the kitchen, Dudley and Courtney almost walked into Harry in the hallway as they left the sitting room. Harry's arm accidentally brushed again Courtney's as he moved to the right to avoid colliding with her. The move wasn't missed by Dudley as he pulled his girlfriend tight into his side. Well, if one could call overhanging fat a side that is.

"Don't even think about it, Potter, she's all mine!" Dudley stated proudly, puffing his fat chest out as if trying to intimidate him. Harry had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"Oh, no worries there." Harry retorted before continuing to the stairs and away from the couple.

"Yep, she's all mine. Of all the guys out there, she choose me. Maybe you should think about getting a girlfriend yourself, but I don't know of any girl who'd want you!" Dudley laughed at his own joke and Courtney giggled annoyingly along with him.

Harry just rolled his eyes harder. At this rate, his eyes would be stuck in the back of his head from the amount of rolling they were doing. He started up the stairs, having something important he wanted to do.

"Already have one there, Dudders." Harry took satisfaction that his cousin scowled at the use of his mother's nickname for him.

"Oh yeah, well, why haven't we met her?" Dudley tried to counter, the bravado he had earlier leaving him. Harry stopped where he was on the stairs to stare down at his whale of a cousin.

"You do realize where I go to school, right? So, who do you think I'd bring home, hmm? Oh, and you've already met her father and brothers before. Remember those redheaded twins that gave you candy three years ago? Well, those are her twin brothers." Dudley turned as white as the hallway wall behind him, clearly remembering the Tongue Toffee the Weasley twins had slipped him without Mr. Weasley knowing what his sons were up to.

"Who is he talking about, Dudley?" Harry heard Courtney ask Dudley as he continued up the stairs.

"No one you need to concern yourself with." The tone of Dudley's voice clearly stated that the conversation was now over.

Harry entered his room, looking around at the horrid peach colour his bedroom walls were now. He really wanted to know how someone convinced his aunt that this was a good colour to paint a room. For all he knew, she probably purposely picked it in the hopes it would annoy him for the two-and-a-half weeks he was going to be here for.

While he had wanted to jump at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's offer to come right to the Burrow after Dumbledore's funeral, Harry regretfully had to decline. Dumbledore had told him last summer that he wanted him to come back to number 4 Privet Drive one more time before he turned seventeen. After Dumbledore's death almost two weeks ago, Harry owed it to him to honor his wish. Even if Harry already wanted out of this place.

But for right now, Harry was more focused on the small, silvery square that sat on top of his desk, the half-full moon outside his window reflected in its surface.

After Sirius' near-death experience at the Ministry over a year ago that resulted in him being critically injured, he had asked Harry why he hadn't tried to call him over his mirror. When Harry admitted that he didn't know of what mirror Sirius was pertaining to, he had Harry retrieve the package he had given him before he left to go back to Hogwarts after Christmas. When he found the mirror inside and the instructions on how to use it, Harry felt like a fool for not opening this gift earlier. His friends and girlfriend could have avoided getting hurt and Sirius wouldn't have almost died.

With the usefulness of the mirrors, Harry had asked if there was a way to make another one, hoping to be able to give it to Ginny so he would be able to easily talk to her when he was stuck at his aunt and uncle's. Sirius was more than glad to help his godson, and soon Harry had sent the new mirror off to her. Being able to talk to her the two weeks he had been stuck at Privet Drive last summer had greatly helped him to keep his sanity and not feel as lonely.

"Ginny Weasley." Harry spoke into the mirror and was rewarded a second later when his gorgeous redhead girlfriend's face appeared.

"Harry!" Ginny exclaimed happily. "How have things been? Any changes since I talked to you last night?"

Harry took a seat on his bed, leaning back against the wall to support himself.

"Everything's about the same. Aunt Petunia's still having me run errands with her since she sprained her wrist last week, so I at least get to go out most days. Uncle Vernon's still ignoring me since I returned here which is more than fine with me. And Dudley keeps trying to rub the fact he has a girlfriend in my face. I think I'm getting under his skin too because I'm not giving him the reaction he hopes for from me. Yeah, like I'd be jealous of an over giggly, brunette airhead that clings to him like someone cast a sticking charm on the two of them. Oh, have I told you just how much of a ditz she is?"

"Hmm, considering the fact that I know he could be misidentified as a land whale, I'm guessing she has to be pretty lacking in intelligence?" Ginny guessed.

"Let's just say I'm very positive that Hagrid's blast-ended skrewts were smarter than this bird is."

Ginny let out a laugh. "Mmmm, and I thought having to deal with Fleur last summer was bad."

"Nah, Dudley's girlfriend makes dealing with Fleur last summer look like a walk in the park. Speaking of Fleur, tell me, how are the wedding preparations coming along?"

"Well, I think you'll greatly appreciate my bridesmaid's dress, but Mum's not too thrilled with it. I do have to admit that she has great taste, I love how it looks on me."

"Care to give me a private showing of you wearing this dress?" Harry alluded, a grin growing on his face.

"Depends, what do I get if I indulge you?" Ginny asked teasingly, mischief shining brightly in her brown eyes.

"I can think of a couple things I can do to convince you." Harry suggested huskily and was rewarded with Ginny blushing prettily but also sensually biting her lip at what he was eluding to.

Harry went on to spend the next two hours talking to Ginny about the goings on at Privet Drive, wedding preparations at the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's upcoming nuptials, the latest news out of the Ministry about the fight against Voldemort, and wishing not for the first time that he was able to be at the Burrow with Ginny in his arms instead of seeing her only through a mirror.

Four days later found Harry returning to Privet Drive from a run to the supermarket with Aunt Petunia.

"Hurry up with bringing the groceries in, I don't want the ice cream melting away in the heat." Aunt Petunia snapped as she hurried herself into the house and out of the sweltering summer heat. Harry could only roll his eyes as he retrieved the handful of bags from the boot of the car and made his way into the house, closing the front door with his foot.

He headed down the hall to the kitchen only to be stopped short when he saw Aunt Petunia standing in the doorway unmoving. Moving to stand slightly behind his aunt, he took in the scene before him, the bags in his hand falling to the ground.

Harry had to stop himself from laughing at the almost comedic amount of zucchini that littered the counter space and the table in the kitchen. Several cutting boards were laid out on the counter next to the stove where several pots were simmering away that had zucchini on them. There was peeled zucchini, chopped zucchini, grated zucchini, and sliced zucchini. If there was a way to cut up zucchini, Courtney had figured it out.

Courtney was working at cutting up more zucchini, a paring knife moving quickly over the cutting board as it worked to cut the zucchini into small, round slices. Dudley sat at the kitchen table watching his girlfriend cook and cut away, a boxing magazine laid out in from of him on the table.

While Harry found the whole thing funny, Aunt Petunia clearly did not, for in between fast, shallow breaths she asked in utter horror, "Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?"

"Do you not like zucchini?" Courtney asked innocently, the paring knife she was holding forgotten for the moment in her hand.

"It's not that I don't like it, I want to know why my spotless kitchen is covered in it!" Aunt Petunia exclaimed a few octaves too high.

"Oh, well, Dudley was like telling me you and Mr. Dursley have been trying to help him lose weight for like the last few years and that it wasn't working for him. So, since my mom's like a total health nut, I was trying to show Dudley that it is possible to eat healthy without feeling like you're missing out on your favourite foods like spaghetti." She held up a plate of curly, thin stringed zucchini. "See, I made zoodles and I have a thick tomato sauce cooking for it too! And I also have a chocolate zucchini cake baking in the oven we can all have for desert tonight! I also thought about making some fried zucchini, but that's just like gonna defeat the purpose of being healthy, so I just roasted some up instead."

Harry could tell his aunt was a few seconds from wailing loudly at the top of her lungs at the state of her kitchen if her twitching left eye was any indication when the doorbell rang.

"Harry, go answer it." Aunt Petunia barked at him louder than she normally would.

He went and answered the door to find Sirius and to his utter delight and surprise, Ginny.

"Sirius, Ginny, what are you two doing here?"

"We're here to spring you of course! It's been two weeks now that you've been here and I'd rather you not be here longer than you need to be. And yes, I know you said you were going to stay for two and a half, but two weeks is more than enough time with these muggles." Sirius explained as he entered the house, leaving Harry and Ginny alone for the second.

Ginny didn't waste anytime with throwing her arms around Harry's neck and kissing him soundly. Harry responded by pulling her in closer to his body, his hand burying itself into her long hair.

They broke apart much too soon for their liking when they heard Sirius exclaim from the kitchen, "Holy shit! What's with all this zucchini? Did you win a lifetime supply of this stuff or something, Petunia?"

"We should probably go make sure Aunt Petunia doesn't try and kill him." Harry conceded. Ginny nodded her head in agreement and let Harry lead her towards the kitchen.

"Black," they heard Aunt Petunia say tersely, clearly getting more upset with the sudden arrival of Sirius. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"Harry's leaving tonight with me." Sirius stated to her.

Aunt Petunia eyed Harry dubiously as he and Ginny walked into the kitchen. "Is he now? He never mentioned to Vernon and me that he was leaving today."

"He didn't know he was leaving till two minutes ago. The Order decided it was best to move Harry now. So, we'll be out of your hair and your zucchini in a few minutes."

Harry watched as Aunt Petunia went over to one of the overhead cabinets and pull out a wine glass before going over and pulling a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. She filled the glass almost to the top with wine before replacing the bottle back in the fridge. Grabbing the glass, Aunt Petunia started to walk out of the kitchen before turning back around.

"I'm going to lie down. You three," she indicated to Sirius, Harry, and Ginny, "better be gone when I come down later for dinner. And you," indicating to Courtney, "better have all this zucchini cleaned up by then." With a loud huff, she left the room to head upstairs.

"Well, why don't I just head upstairs and get your things, Harry? I'll just be a couple minutes." And with that, Sirius left the kitchen, leaving Harry and Ginny alone with his cousin and his girlfriend.

It took a few seconds to realize Dudley was staring at him and Ginny open mouthed.

"Something wrong there, Dudley?" Harry asked.

"You're dating her?" Dudley asked in disbelief. Harry looked down at Ginny before looking back at his cousin.

"Yeah, and you're point is what?" Harry countered.

"She's fucking hot! There's no way in hell she's dating the likes of you!" Harry didn't miss the look of hurt that passed across Courtney's face at Dudley's exclamation.

"Why, jealous there? Or did you not believe me when I said I have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think she looked anything like this! She a fucking nine! I mean, just look how nice those tits and arse of hers are! And come on, you're like a four, what the hell would she see in you?"

Ginny bristled at Dudley's comment. "For your information, you really shouldn't be talking since you're a negative one and act like you're a bloody twelve-year-old. I honestly feel bad for this girl here, what she sees in you, I don't know. And also? Harry's one of the most caring, kindest person I've ever met, not to mention one of the hottest looking, and you'll never be anywhere close to being like him."

Sirius reentered the kitchen at this moment, holding Harry's trunk and Hedwig's empty cage. "You two ready to go?"

"I was ready to leave five minutes ago. Let's go." Ginny growled as she left the kitchen.

Sirius turned to look at Harry questionably at what he missed when Harry muttered, "I'll tell you later."

"Well, I think I'll leave too." Courtney declared, stabbing the paring knife harshly into the zucchini still on the cutting board before her. "It was nice meeting you, Harry, Mr. Black."

Dudley grabbed her by the arm as she turned to leave the kitchen. "Where are you going?"

"Leaving. The fact you were drooling all over that redhead was like totally out of line and disgusting, and she also made me realize you are a chauvinistic pig. So, bye! And don't call me!" And with that, she flounced out of the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to take all your zucchini with you?!" Dudley yelled after her.

"Deal with it yourself, arsehole!" Courtney yelled back, and with a loud Slam! of the front door was gone.

"Well I'd love to help, but I hate zucchini. Mother forced us to eat it when Regulus and I were kids, never will touch the stuff ever again. Shall we, Harry? Don't want to keep that feisty, redhead girlfriend of yours waiting."

Harry smiled at the mention of Ginny and at the incredulous look at his cousin's face at what just happened.

"Yes, I believe we should."