7 January 1972
Dear Sirius,
Three days into the term and you already have detention?! Aunt Walburga was dreadfully angry with you for exploding your potions onto those Slytherin boys. They could have really gotten hurt! I know you love pranks, but please be careful. You're better than this.
Regulus and I are playing our own pranks on Kreacher. We ordered him to take a bubble bath and he hated it. I really thought it would help him relax, so I tricked him into trying to relax. He's the most stressed house elf I've ever seen. I asked him what he likes to do with his free time, but he said some nonsense about serving the family. Now we're making him tell bedtime stories to us, but they're all really dark. I think we'll try ordering him to make us valentines next month to see what he comes up with. If you're lucky, you'll get one too!
This week's etiquette lessons were on learning how to sit properly, like a lady. I guess no one taught me that sitting had a right and wrong to it.
We miss you. I know you won't come home till the summer holidays, but please write back.
Your cousin,
Dora
…..
10 January 1972
Dear A.D.,
The creature I mentioned in November – ask Myrtle about it. She'll help you find it.
D.
…..
19 January 1972
Dear Dora,
Please, please, please get me a valentine from Kreacher. That elf has given me nothing but grief my whole life. Make him write something nice about me for a change.
The Slytherin gits got what they deserved. They called Lily a you-know-what (she's Muggleborn) and James, Remus, and I all lost it. We used Peter's messy potion and added enough lacewing to make it swell and spill all over the Slytherins. They weren't really hurt, you know, just all red and splotchy for a day. They deserved it for what they said.
Can you send me more of that Honeydukes chocolate? Remus is like a niffler for chocolate and he keeps raiding my stash. It's hard to say no to him. We'd barely be passing History of Magic without his notes.
Your hungry cousin,
Sirius
P.S. Would you be willing to play a prank on Regulus?
…..
22 January 1972
Dear D.,
The creature has been located successfully. When the weather is warmer, it will be cared for properly.
Sincerely,
A.D.
…..
31 January 1972
Dear Sirius,
If we're going to prank Regulus, it's going to be something happy. I told you it's important to be kind to him. He's really anxious about next year and I don't want him to get any more grief from you.
Reg and I are working on a Valentine's Day surprise for Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion. I'm pretty sure they will hate it. Kreacher is going to dress up as a cupid and sing them one of Celestina Warbleck's greatest hits. I think planning this prank is the most fun Reg has had in ages. He really misses you, even if he won't admit it.
I got an earful this week from Aunt Walburga and Grandmother Irma because I kept using the wrong fork at dinner. Merlin forbid I use the wrong fork at a family dinner.
Tell your friend Remus that if he wants more chocolate, he should write me directly and promise to help me with History of Magic next year. (I know, it means he'll have to be properly introduced to me to write a letter, stupid etiquette.)
Missing you,
Dora
…..
1 February 1972
Dear A.D.,
The diary – if I recall, I left it at my soon-to-be cousin-in-law's home. Maybe you can help me retrieve it?
Yours,
D.
…..
6 February 1972
Dear Dora,
I've got a prank idea for Regulus, but it should wait till after Valentine's Day. I don't want to be getting in the way of your own prank on my parents and Kreacher.
Are you writing any Slytherins? Yesterday Crabbe and Goyle asked after you and told me they wanted to send you valentines after meeting you at the Malfoy Gala. I told them to sod off and leave you alone. You don't have a secret boyfriend, do you?
Your watchdog cousin,
Sirius
…..
12 February 1972
Dear D.,
Your diary has been located. You really mustn't leave things like this lying around.
Yours,
A.D.
…..
14 February 1972
Dear Sirius,
Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you got Kreacher's special valentine. He wouldn't tell us what he sent. I told him he had to send you a valentine's note and a gift from his heart. Kreacher gave Reg a candlestick and I got a broken clock. That's love, right?
We decided to get him a new blanket for his cupboard and he lost his marbles. Kept crying over us and then made us the biggest chocolate cake I've ever seen. I think we made his whole year and now he's nicer to us than ever. You should try being nice to him too and see if he makes you a cake!
Aunt Walburga was furious when she saw the drawing room all dressed up for Valentine's Day. Uncle Orion looked bored as usual. I took the blame for it and said I asked Kreacher to do everything so they would have a special day as a thank-you for how kind they have been to me (aside from all the uncivilized swine insults, of course).
Aunt Walburga almost smiled but told Kreacher to take everything down and just leave the food. Before he did that he sang the song as the cupid and Uncle Orion actually laughed. I told Kreacher I had never been more proud of an elf before. He might like me almost as much as your mum by now. He even found an extra mouse and gave it to Athena for me, bless his heart.
I got valentines from some of your schoolmates, I think. Avery and Mulciber sent me chocolates with notes. Aren't they at least third years? Creepy blokes. Tell them to lay off till I'm at least at school. At least Crabbe and Goyle had the decency to ask you about me first. I promise I'm not writing any of them. I'd rather snog Kreacher than any one of those prats. I had Father check the chocolates for any curses or love potions and he didn't find any, but I didn't want them anyway. Give them to your friend Remus for me.
Your mastermind cousin,
Dora
P.S. Now that it's after Valentine's Day, how would you like to prank Regulus now? It better be nice or I'm not going to do it.
…..
20 February 1972
Dear Dora,
Kreacher's valentine was bloody brilliant. He sent me an old chamber pot with a note that said "To Master Sirius from Kreacher." I spent the day carrying the chamber pot around as proof of my secret admirer. I can't wait to see what he gets me next Valentine's Day.
When you get to Hogwarts next year, you better be Sorted into Gryffindor. You're a pranking genius. Almost as good as one of us. James, Remus, and Peter can't wait to meet you. We call ourselves the Marauders, and you could be one too.
I hexed Avery and Mulciber as soon as I read your letter over breakfast. Prats. They should've never sent you anything. You're not even at school. What did Mother, Father, and Uncle Al say? I bet Mother was thrilled you've got such "proper" pureblood admirers. I thought it was disgusting. They're actually fourth years and I think they're already 15. Bloody disgusting. Detention with Filch was worth every minute.
Remus thanks you for the chocolate. He might like you most of all with all the chocolate you've been giving him. He's excited for next Valentine's Day too if it means you'll give him your unwanted chocolate. If I have anything to say about it, the only valentines you get will be from me, Reg, and Kreacher.
I'm working on the prank for Reg. I'll send it with my next letter, that way you can say no to it if you don't like it.
Your favorite cousin,
Sirius
…..
26 February 1972
Dear A.D.,
Some of Tom's best friends came by today. I haven't seen him since the big party. Tom is making new friends. I think he is happy about it.
Sincerely,
D.
…..
28 February 1972
Dear Sirius,
Who told you that you're my favorite cousin? I think that honor goes to dear Bella (kidding!). It's a tie between you and Reg. If Lucius is nice enough to Cissa maybe he might be my favorite cousin one day (kidding again).
Stop tormenting Slytherins, even if they deserve it. The more you do to them, the more they'll do to you. I can handle myself, whether you know it or not. I'm not worth detention, anyway.
Aunt Druella stopped by this week and made me practice crossing a room with books on my head for my "posture." I got more bruises from falling books than I ever did climbing trees. I also got a black eye from some book on the Sacred Twenty-Eight, which I was supposed to memorize. Too bad I can't get knowledge from having a book fall on my face over and over.
I can't believe Kreacher sent you an old chamber pot. It makes the broken clock and candlestick look like precious gems next to your gift. Maybe next year you'll get some of his ear hair for Valentine's Day.
You were right. Aunt Walburga was giddy when she saw the valentines from Avery and Mulciber. She told me that if I keep up with my etiquette skills, I would get a very advantageous union one day, maybe even better than Cissa's marriage. She not-subtly hinted that Rodolphus Lestrange has a younger brother, and I knocked a teacup over on purpose so she could screech at me about that instead of going on about pureblood options.
Father had almost nothing to say. I asked if he was going to write up a betrothal contract with anyone soon, and he told me he would wait until I was at least 14 to consider it. Another three years of valentine's chocolates for Remus, I guess.
I still don't want to be Sorted into Gryffindor. It better be Hufflepuff for me, or maybe even Slytherin. Then you'll have to be nice to at least one Slytherin. If you're not nice to Regulus at least, I'll stop talking to you. I better not catch your friends being mean to Regulus either, or no more chocolate. I mean it.
Your irritated cousin,
Dora
…..
4 March 1972
Dear A.D.,
I saw Tom today. He had an unusual ring on one of his hands. I hadn't noticed it before. The stone was very big and shiny.
Sincerely,
D.
…..
9 March 1972
Dear Dora,
Still going on about Hufflepuff? As long as you're not in Slytherin too, cousin. If you think the attention from Avery and Mulciber is bad now, just wait until you have to share a common room with them. You should think about Ravenclaw. It's on the highest tower and farthest away from the dungeons where the snakes are. I don't want you anywhere near them. You don't even have a wand yet and can't protect yourself. That'll be mine and Regulus' job.
Do you even want a betrothal agreement? I know it's what's expected with purebloods but I didn't take you for a traditional pureblood, you know? If Mother and Father try that with me, I'm going to run away. James' parents already said I can come over anytime I want. Maybe you can come too. I'll ask them over the Easter holidays.
I finally got Reg's prank ready. Remus told me about this Muggle holiday called St. Patrick's Day on 17 March. Something about getting rid of snakes and making everything green. It didn't make any sense, but it gave me an idea. I charmed a bar of soap so that if he washes himself with it, anywhere he washes will turn green for a few hours. It's delayed charm though so he won't notice for at least an hour. Took a lot of tricky work, it did. I tried it on a Slytherin with shampoo and his face was all streaky with green. Greasy git deserved it after jinxing me and James though. Professor McGonagall was furious but thought the charm work was good, so I got a week of detention and 10 points to Gryffindor. Please, please, please try it with Regulus. It won't hurt him at all.
Your charming cousin,
Sirius
…..
22 March 1972
Dear Sirius,
I had to admit, I was impressed with your prank. I switched out the bar of soap for Regulus and he was green for a few days until I told him the soap was your doing. At first he was confused but then he thought it was hilarious. We tried it on Kreacher and his ear hair turned green. We thought it was an improvement, truly. Reg is up to something for you, but I don't know what. I don't think he trusts me to work with him on it, but I know he's up to something.
I'm not sure if I want a betrothal agreement so early. If I get one, then I only have to deal with one suitor's attention. If I don't get one, I'm afraid I'll be hounded by pureblood prats who only want me because of my "pedigree." Not really romantic. I just hope that Father considers how I feel for a betrothal agreement. It's a few years away though. That's got to be worth something.
Don't worry about asking for me with the Potters. I'm sure I'll meet them one day and I'd rather be invited by them in person than through you. I don't care for the stupid pureblood rules, but I do care about having some manners (unlike a bratty cousin I know).
I met Aunt Lucretia this week at tea. She called me a savage ingrate because I dared touch the sides of the teacup with my spoon when stirring the sugar. She said I had no hope of attracting anyone with my miserable manners. What a charmer.
Also, please don't run away. I'm sure we can work something out before you have to run away. You promised you wouldn't hurt me or Regulus. Don't break your promises.
Your favorite cousin,
Dora
…..
2 April 1972
Dear Dora,
There's no way Reg pulled that prank off by himself. Howlers have to be charmed and only Mother and Father know how to charm them. Did you get Uncle Al to do it? Did he get Uncle Al to do it?
I thought it was another Howler from Mother but much to my surprise I did not expect to hear Kreacher at full volume singing Celestina Warbleck at me over breakfast. Now everyone thinks our bloody elf is having some affair with me. Tell Regulus he did well (I didn't know he had it in him). I know you had something to do with it. I just know it.
I won't run away unless I have to. If I do, you and Reg can come with me. I won't leave you alone.
Your elf-besotted cousin,
Sirius
P.S. I never said you were my favorite cousin. Andromeda is my favorite. You haven't met her, but she's the bravest one of the family. She should've been a Gryffindor too. Maybe you can meet her one day. I'll write her and see if she's willing to meet us over the summer holidays. We'll have to sneak out though. You can be my second favorite cousin until you do something even better than running away with a Muggleborn and having a baby with him.
…..
11 April 1972
Dear A.D.,
Ran into Tom again. No ring this time.
D.
…..
13 April 1972
Dear Sirius,
Howlers aren't difficult to charm.
Love,
Dora
P.S. If I am told one more time that I am an uncultured swine, I will turn my nose into a pig's snout over dinner.
…..
22 April 1972
Dear Sirius,
I was having a lovely afternoon with Father when your Howler arrived. He had guests over for tea, and they heard everything. Father and his guests thought your cover of "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right" was a bit off-key. I have to agree. If you're practicing for returning to Kreacher in the summer, you've got to work harder.
Happy Easter, by the way. Aunt Walburga told me chocolate eggs are only for worthy boys and girls, so give them to James and Remus for me.
Cousin Bellatrix stopped by for tea. Athena clawed at her robes from behind and Bella didn't notice until she was on her way out the door. I had Kreacher give Athena a whole fish for dinner as a reward. No one deserves it more than she does.
I can't wait to join you next year at Hogwarts. Spending all my time at Grimmauld Place with family is making me lose my mind. I think I understand now why you stay at school for the holidays. I still can't wait until you come home. At least I have Father to visit once a week. He promised me to take me on holiday next month to see Grandfather and Grandmother Scamander.
Your second-favorite cousin (for now),
Dora
P.S. Does Hogwarts have a dueling club?
…..
24 April 1972
Dear A.D.,
My most charming cousin came to tea. She kept asking after a family heirloom. I think it's important to a special someone in her life.
Sincerely,
D.
…..
29 April 1972
Dear Dora,
I still don't believe you'll be Sorted into Hufflepuff. The chocolate eggs you sent me – us, if you count James, Remus, and Peter – left us farting so loudly that McGonagall sent us to the Hospital Wing so we wouldn't disturb her class anymore. Did you learn to make potions in America with your mum?
I wish I could come with you on holiday to America to see your grandparents. I told everyone that you're related to the Scamanders and you might be more popular than me by next year. James, Remus, and Peter think you'll replace me as the best Black at Hogwarts. Not like there's a lot of competition now that it's just me and Cissa.
Hogwarts has a dueling club but only for third years and up. McGonagall sometimes makes exceptions for second years with the best marks. The only one of us with a chance is Remus. He's the good boy, always gets the best marks.
I'll see you when you get back from America.
Your very jealous cousin,
Sirius
…..
6 May 1972
Dear Sirius,
I hope you enjoy the postcard. It's a Muggle thing. They send these little cards with pictures of the places they visit and send them through the post. This one is from Salem, MA. There's a lot of fascinating history here about witches. I'll tell you about it over the summer.
Love,
Dora
…..
17 May 1972
Dear Sirius,
Grandfather Scamander showed me an Erumpent this week! They are such gorgeous and terrifying creatures. Grandfather's Erumpent is very temperamental but took a liking to me. Grandfather says she is like unicorns and prefers not to be around men. I don't know how he keeps her (her name is Lillian) in his lab, but he does. She's really something.
Love,
Dora
…..
29 May 1972
Dear Sirius,
It's my last day in America till next year. I am quite sad to be leaving Grandfather and Grandmother Scamander. They don't bother me at all about etiquette or manners. I almost wish I had stayed in America with them, but then I would never have met you or Regulus. You're my family now.
Love,
Dora
…..
14 June 1972
Dear Dora,
You got to meet an Erumpent? A REAL ERUMPENT? Your grandfather is wicked. I put up your postcard from Salem in our dorm. Remus knew all about Salem, of course. He wants to ask you about it when you meet him. Lily wants to ask you about your grandfather's creatures. We won't take Care of Magical Creatures till third year and since she's Muggleborn she is dying to know more.
I'm happy you're my family now too. If you bring me an Erumpent, you'll definitely be my favorite cousin.
It's time for end of year exams. Just a few more weeks and then I'll be home again. I don't want to go back to Grimmauld Place, but at least you and Reg will be there to make it bearable.
Yours truly,
Sirius
P.S. Remus said the American chocolate was too sweet. I think you broke him.