"Will you still not speak of your time with the marchwarden?" Daella asked for what felt like the 100th time since last night as she laced up Aerendyll's dress.

Aerendyll breathed deeply, tempering her annoyance. While normally she enjoyed speaking with the maid, she was at her wit's end today. All Daella wanted to discuss was Haldir, which so happened to be the absolute last thing Aerendyll wished to speak on.

Even if a dull pain had started up in her chest as she attempted to keep him at arm's length last night. It had only increased when she sent him away after a stilted conversation that was so very different from every other time they had spoken. By the Valar, she missed them dearly. Far more than she thought she would.

But with Cohnal keeping stock of her actions and reporting them to Thranduil, it was a chance she could not take. She didn't doubt that even with the distance, the King would find a way to make life difficult for the Marchwarden and Aerendyll did not wish that at all.

"We spoke of my training and duty," Aerendyll stated, her eyes fixed on her own reflection in the mirror.

Daella stopped and Aerendyll turned to her, keeping her mask firmly in place, though she noted the look of disappointment on Daella's face.

"I thought… perhaps… you seemed to be… friendly," Daella said. "Braern says-"

"He is instructing me in warfare and that is all. I've told you this," Aerendyll said sternly, turning and walking into the next room. "Really, there's nothing more to be said on the matter."

She heard Daella following, but did not address her as she walked to her writing desk and began to look over a pile of parchment set out. It was the latest reports on the crops in the land and she really did need to finish going over them before she met with the Lorien advisors that morning.

The room filled with silence and for a moment, Aerendyll thought perhaps finally Daella would not continue. She had been talking about the Marchwarden ever since Aerendyll had abruptly returned from training yesterday, though at first it was to assure her that falling while training was certainly nothing to be embarrassed or out of sorts about. Which Aerendyll knew. It was pulling Haldir on top of her that she could not seem to get out of her mind.

For there had been a moment when Aerendyll wished to feel his arms around her, but she knew this could not be. She could not allow an attachment to form between herself and Haldir. Not if she wished to save him from Thranduil's wrath and whatever that could lead to.

That she could not allow an attachment to form with Lorien, though it seemed that was already happening as well. Bother it all.

It was getting harder to deny the truth. Aerendyll had never experienced anything like this before and it terrified her. This was so very different from her friendship with Legolas. Just the mere thought of not seeing Haldir again made it difficult to breathe. But it was for the best if she stopped herself now. She had seen what love had done to King Thranduil. How he had become cold and at times cruel because he could not bear the pain of losing his wife. What if he found of this? What would he do?

She was altogether unsure how much her heart could take. So it was best to keep her distance now, before it went too far. This was mere infatuation. Surely. It would pass.

There was a knock at the door and Aerendyll turned, watching as Daella went to answer it. She waited until the maid returned, holding out a letter.

"It would seem the Prince of Mirkwood has written," Daella said, offering a smile. Aerendyll's heart soared as she took the letter and eagerly began to open it. "I shall take out the mending, Aerendyll."

"Yes, of course," Aerendyll replied, already walking towards the terrace.

She sat down in a chair as she finally pulled it open, though then frowned at how short the letter was. She had hoped Legolas would write more.

It eases my heart to hear that you are enjoying your time in Lorien. It shall be no time before we are reunited…

I wish I could spare time to write more, but my father requests my presence. I will venture to write more next time…

Aerendyll sighed as the letter fell into her lap and she looked out among the treetops. A single tear fell down her cheek as her heart ached for her friend. How she longed for his soothing presence right now. She then looked back down at the letter, reading it again. It was void of his usual banter and cheer. Very much unlike him. She wiped away her tears, frowning down at it.

The only times Legolas had ever been short with her - distant - was when he was hiding something from her. Immediately Aerendyll grew suspicious that he knew why she was truly sent away. Just as her suspicion hit her, she felt her heart begin to crumble. Legolas was her best friend and he, too, was now pushing her away.

Suddenly, Aerendyll felt stifled. She needed to be away from here. To think. She pushed up from her chair and quickly made her way out of the home and towards the direction of the stables, ignoring the fact that frustrated tears were pricking at her eyes. Whenever she was in need of time to herself to clear her thoughts, a good ride was usually in order. She remembered where the stables were and knew her horse Nahar would likely be in need of exercise. She only hoped the Lorien stablehands had taken good care of him as she had been far too distracted since she arrived to take him out.

As Aerendyll rounded a tree, she came to a sudden stop just before she collided with another, her thoughts so swirling that she did not hear them approach. She could not help as her mouth fell open upon seeing just who it was.

"My apologies," Haldir said quickly, taking a step back from her.

"It is I who should seek apologies," she said quickly, her heart seeming to leap and then sink upon seeing him.

She met his eyes and immediately, his expression melted into one of concern.

"You have been crying," he said softly, venturing a small step towards her. She quickly reached up and felt her wet cheeks, then wiped her tears away yet again.

"I assure you, I am fine," she said stiffly, straightening her spine. She must continue to push him away. It was for the best, she reminded herself.

Haldir only continued to stare at her and then sighed, looking away. Aerendyll followed his gaze, seeing that he was looking towards the stables. He then turned back to her.

"Come with me," he said. Aerendyll blinked a few times and then shook her head.

"I am fine and there is no need to waste your time-"

"You are obviously in distress, my lady. And I do recall offering my aid should you be in need of it," he said, a soft smile on his face. "Please, for my peace of mind, accept it now."

Aerendyll stared at him for a time and then swallowed as she silently nodded her head, altogether unsure why she was giving in so easily. While she knew it was a risk, something inside her called out that she did not wish to be alone right now. More than that, she wanted this time with him.

It was a rather confusing turn of emotions, to say the least.

Haldir turned and the two made their way to the stables. Without uttering a word to each other, they quickly saddled up their horses and were soon setting out towards the edges of the city.

Aerendyll took a deep breath, allowing the fresh air to soothe her soul and quiet her mind. Or as much as possible, considering she was riding with Haldir, who seemed to have her on edge more often than not lately. He said nothing, thankfully, only guided her farther from the city's center.

Aerendyll could not help but glance around her, worried Cohnal was about. The fact that she did not see him only mildly appeased her. It was reckless to be doing this, but something inside her whispered that a ride through the forest with Haldir could be what she needed right now. And to for once, not follow the rules. It was equal parts thrilling and terrifying.

After some time, they were finally alone among the trees and Aerendyll began to pay more attention to her surroundings, looking up into the branches and seeing the sunlight filter down. It was much brighter than Mirkwood, holding a light that the forests of her home had lost long. And yet, she always found peace among the trees there. This was so very different, but yet it still had the same effect. She could already feel some of the tempest inside her beginning to quiet.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked, looking towards Haldir.

"I sensed you were in need of some place to be with your thoughts. As you have not ventured outside the city yet, I thought perhaps I would share such a place with you," he said, his eyes trained forward on the trail.

Aerendyll could only stare at him in awe, wondering just how he had sensed such a thing. She then looked back to the forest, her brow furrowed.

"We are not so different, you and I. I believe we share more than just a dedication to one's duty," Haldir continued. Aerendyll glanced at him, but still, the marchwarden's composure was calm, his face expressionless.

They continued on, riding at a leisurely pace until something pricked at Aerendyll's ear. It sounded like running water. Haldir now rode in front, leading her through the trees until they came to a clearing. She gasped softly, in awe of the beauty of the place. Before them sat a spring fed by a small waterfall that tumbled down from an outcropping of rocks. They came to a stop and Aerendyll dismounted, making her way to the water's edge. It was crystal clear and she could see plants and fish beneath its surface. Without a word, she moved to a rock, sitting upon it as she continued to stare down into the water.

"I often come here when I need to clear my mind. Or if there is something that has upset me. I feel there is something… healing… in this place."

She looked over, seeing Haldir tying up their horses, though his eyes found hers. His normally stoic facade was gone and a tenderness had entered his eyes. Something she had seen glimpses of before but was now much stronger. Quickly, she looked away, staring back at the water.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"If you do not wish to say anything, I understand. But I am here if you should need an ear," Haldir then said.

Aerendyll glanced back over at him, seeing that he had settled on a rock a few feet away, giving her space. She swallowed and looked back at the water, fighting with herself. There was too much going on in her mind that she could not make sense of it. Her ache for home, Legolas and all she had known, her frustration with Thranduil for sending her away and now Legolas for pulling from her. Her struggle with whatever it was she was feeling towards the marchwarden and vow to never stray from duty. It was all rather tiring.

"I received word from Legolas," she found herself saying. "It was… most unlike what I am used to… short. But I suppose he is busy…"

She fell silent, her eyes still fixed on the water, but yet, Haldir said nothing as though he wanted to allow her to decide if and when she would continue to speak.

"I feel him pulling away… as though he is keeping something from me, but I know not what," she found herself confessing, Cohnal's warning moving to the farthest reaches of her mind.

"This is what has been plaguing your mind?" Haldir asked softly.

Aerendyll finally looked over at him, seeing him watching her with no judgement, only understanding in his eyes. She nodded and looked back to the water, not trusting herself to speak, though the words were welling up within her regardless.

"All my life, Legolas has been possibly my only friend. Yes, I have been friendly with others, but… being the ward of King Thranduil… it comes with many rules," she said. "Rules on who to speak with. How to speak. Who to befriend. Who not to dance with or not dance with at feasts, and so on. Rules that I have always followed, though for the first time, I am beginning to wish… to wonder why."

She paused a moment, surprised at the words that had slipped from her lips. And that she had nearly confessed her desire to break the rules set for her.

"I suppose it's only natural, really. I am here, on my own. I feel my dearest friend drifting from me. The man I view as a father has sent me away without proper reason," she said, her eyes still fixed on the water. "In that regard I suppose it would make sense that I am… questioning things. And feel so very alone at times…"

Silence hung heavy over the clearing and Aerendyll did not dare look at Haldir, shame flooding through her that she had said too much. She would sometimes speak of the pressures of her position with Legolas, for he understood them all too well, but often it was she who was putting on a calming smile to placate him.

"You are not alone, my lady," came the soft response. Aerendyll held her breath slightly as she looked over at him. He was staring at her with such intensity that she felt as though he was stealing the very breath from her lungs. "I am here… should you need me."

Yet again, she looked away, unable to keep his gaze, lest everything bubble up and then pour out from her. Her heart was now beating rapidly as she began to feel lightheaded. What had come over her?

"Thank you. I suppose it is just a moment of melancholy. This shall pass, I am sure," she said, her voice shaking despite her best efforts. "I am not used to being away from Mirkwood this long, that is all."

"You long to return," Haldir stated, though she did not miss the note of unhappiness in his voice.

"Of course, I do. It is my home. And my place will always be at the King and Prince's side," she said firmly, though could not help the bitterness that entered her voice.

Yes, she loved Legolas and Thranduil - they were her family - but she was so very frustrated. Questioning their motives, and what they were hiding from her. What was the point of sending her here? And yet, what is the point of attempting to fight her fate? No matter what feelings she may or may not have for the Marchwarden right now - whatever feelings she had on her fate - it would change nothing.

She heard rustling and then nearly jumped when she turned, finding Haldir now seated at her side, his grey eyes staring into her own. Her voice caught in her throat, feeling as though he could see through her to her soul.

"But is that where you truly wish to be?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

She could still feel it in her bones, slithering through her veins and loosening her tongue yet again. Somehow, Haldir was finding a way past her defences, try as she might to fight it.

"I don't think anyone has ever asked me," she confessed. "For a long time it was, for it was all I have known, but now… now I am not so sure what I want."

Sparks flew through her body as Haldir reached out and took both of her hands in his own, his eyes never leaving hers. Aerendyll began to wonder just why the air around her was suddenly growing warm.

"I understand all too well the pressure to take the path chosen for you," he said softly. "This was the path my father chose for himself and as his eldest, he wished it for me as well. I have told myself that it is what I wanted. But there are times when I wonder what other path I could have chosen."

"You could still choose another," she said softly, temporarily distracted from her own problems.

"Do not pity me, my lady. I have accepted that this is my fate. Enjoy it even. I am happy to dedicate my life to the protection of Lorien," he said with a slight smile. "But you… if it causes you strife… makes you unhappy… you can choose another way."

Aerendyll smiled wryly, looking back to the water, though did not pull her hands from his, taking comfort in the warmth they provided her.

"It is what my parents did before me. What Thranduil has trained me for. And I, too, enjoy it… or I always thought I had. But, if not an advisor to the king and prince, what would I do with my life?" she asked. "I cannot think of anything else."

"You could be an emissary. Travel and see the world on behalf of the king. Perhaps an ambassador even," Haldir suggested.

"It seems you are suggesting roles that would keep me from Mirkwood. Do you not wish me to return, Sir Marchwarden?" Aerendyll asked, glancing over at him.

"No… I mean…" he said, looking away. Aerendyll's eyes widened slightly, not expecting him to admit it so openly. He then looked to her hands and back up to her eyes, a renewed strength in his own. "I should like you to stay longer in Lorien. So that we could better know each other… And… you may call me Haldir, if you wish..."

Aerendyll felt as though her throat was closing up while her heart very well was about to thump out of her chest. She could not look away, could not move, though she was unsure if she could handle the raw emotion in Haldir's eyes.

There was no denying what he was feeling towards her. And for a moment, she was swept up in it. In the moment. Haldir's eyes glanced down to her lips and then back to her eyes. Without realizing she began to lean towards him as he began to move towards her, his fingers tightly gripping her own. It was as though her body was acting all on its own.

And by the Valar, she was ready to finally give in. To ignore everything else and finally feel his lips upon hers. Rules be damned.

Just as her eyes began to drift closed, there was a loud crack that reverberated through the quiet wood, followed by the flapping of wings. Aerendyll flew back, frantically looking around as she pulled her hands from Haldir's. Her heart was racing as she strained to listen, but all she could hear was some scurrying in the brush. It was like just some animal, but she could not help the fear that Cohnal had followed them.

By Eru, what had she been thinking? She was supposed to be keeping Haldir at a distance. Close off her heart. Protect herself as well as him. And here she had nearly let him kiss her.

"I should go. I am needed in a meeting," she said quickly. She then pushed up from the rock and started towards the horses. After a few moments, she heard Haldir stand as well and follow her over.

"Should you ever need a moment to yourself, you are more than welcome to use this place," he said, finally speaking.

She looked over at him, offering a small, yet polite smile, though her stomach twisted slightly.

"Thank you. I should like that… Sir Marchwarden."

Haldir offered to take care of the horses while Aerendyll returned to the Lord and Lady's home in order to finish final preparations before her meeting. Truthfully, he needed the time to himself.

He had not intended to see her that day. Thought he would not after she had all but pushed him out the door last night. And yet, his thoughts had not ventured far from her.

His heart ached at seeing the hurt upon her face. It was clear she had been crying, though he did not know what about. He was desperate to do something that would take away her tears. Perhaps cause her to smile. It was then that he remembered the spring. As far as he knew, no one else was aware of its existence. Or, at the very least, he had never run into anyone else while there.

Haldir was unsure if he could do or say anything to help take away Arendyll's pain, but he knew this place perhaps could help. And truly, it was the only aid he could think to offer her.

He was not expecting her to drop the walls she held around her. To confess her unhappiness. Her uneasiness. Her pain and frustration. It was all he could to stop himself from taking her into his arms and making promises he knew that he could not keep.

Haldir thought he had kept himself in check, but when she had asked him if he wished her not to leave, he had very nearly said he wished for her to stay always. He was surprised that he had admitted as much as he did, as it was. And he was not sure if it was the spring, the moment or Aerendyll herself, but he could stop himself - finding he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Elation had rushed through him when he saw that she wished the same. It was clear in her eyes and in the way she had leaned towards him.

But then reality had come crashing back in with one snap of a twig. They both suddenly remembered what stood between them.

Duty. Position. King Thranduil.

"I did not expect to find you here, brother," Orophin called out.

Haldir closed his eyes, breathing a prayer to the Valar for patience. He wished to be alone with his thoughts and yet the most troublesome of his brothers decided to show his face.

"I have not the time, Orophin," he said harshly, continuing to brush down Aerendyll's horse.

"Is that Lady Aerendyll's steed?" Orophin asked, coming to stand next to Haldir.

"Yes," Haldir said curtly, brushing a bit more vigorously.

"I see you finally took her out for a ride," Orophin said, his eyes dancing in mirth.

Haldir stopped, closing his eyes briefly and then turning to his brother.

"I fulfilled my promise to take her riding, that is all," he said sternly. He then turned back to the horse, continuing to groom it.

His brother was unusually quiet, which for some reason, irked Haldir even more.

"Speak. I know there is more you wish to say," Haldir said through clenched teeth.

"You do truly care for her. Deeply, I would wager."

Haldir stopped and abruptly turned to his brother, finding Orophin staring at him with a look of awe on his face.

"I admit, I do so enjoy teasing you… but this appears far more serious than I thought," Orophin said, his expression softening. "Brother, if you care for her, you should-"

"It matters not," Haldir said, cutting him off as he turned back to the horse.

"But if this is-"

"I CANNOT!" Haldir shouted, stunning Orophin into silence.

The marchwarden then took a deep breath and turned back to his brother, dropping all vestiges of calm and tranquility.

He knew he must look wretched in that moment, but he was tired of fighting to keep control. It was all he had ever done for his whole life and he knew that once he left these stables, he must put on his own mask yet again. Become the responsible, noble marchwarden of these lands. And that he must put aside whatever he felt for Aerendyll.

But for a moment, he wished to only be an ellon, wrestling with his heart, seeking solace from his brother.

"Sometimes… she lets me in, but then she draws far from me… It matters not. One such as myself… King Thranduil will never allow it," Haldir said, sighing heavily as he shook his head. "And she is all too eager to push me away, regardless of what I offer."

"You are a good ellon, Haldir. Any elleth would be lucky to call you hers," Orophin said. "Do not think of yourself so lowly."

"What I think does not matter," Haldir repeated, turning back to the horse and beginning to brush it down again. "It is what King Thranduil thinks that is far more important to her."

"Perhap she is merely scared… and only needs time," Orophin offered. Haldir glanced at him, already feeling as though he would likely ignore his advice. "Do not push this away, but do not force it either. If the Valar have meant for your joining, it will find a way."

Haldir nodded. He appreciated his brother's words, though knew that ultimately, they would change nothing. For he was sure even Thranduil would try to find a way to argue with the Valar when it came to Aerendyll.

"Thank you, Orophin," he said.

"I can be useful," Orophin replied with a smirk. Haldir rolled his eyes and returned to his task.

"If you wish to be more useful, you can aid me with these horses," Haldir said dryly.

"Ah, what's this? I hear Melaine calling. Next time, brother!"

Haldir only chuckled as he heard Orophin quickly walk away. He then continued on brushing down the horse, pondering on his brother's words.

He knew that he should not heed them, should not allow hope. But yet, there was a small seed of hope in his heart despite his best efforts.

What's this? I've finished another chapter? I almost can't believe it myself, considering how much time I spent editing/rewriting parts of this chapter after I finished writing Chapt. 12 yesterday. But here we are – got Chapt. 13 done this morning, though it probably needs a lot of editing. And that means I'm finally working Chapt. 14, which I've been dying to get to.

And yes, I hear the frustration. I'm with you too – but don't be like Haldir and Aerendyll. Keep hope! We're getting there… But yea, so frickin' close in this chapter! So close...

AB0918 – I know. But every story needs a villain, and Cohnal seemed like a good one to go with. Especially since Thranduil is still a bit too far away to do that role himself. And well, I have reasons for his actions, which we get into a bit with Chapt. 13.

Gandalf007 – Haha! He gets what's coming to him… just later on…

Saddlesore – Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

Ten Duel Commandments – I know, right? Especially when just about everyone else is trying to push them together… I mean, come on…

As always, thanks for reading, following and commenting! Especially when I seem to be making things so difficult, haha!