Sadly none of J.K Rowling's amazing world actually belongs to me.
The Sorting of Dolores Umbridge
"Hello Miss Umbridge"
"Hello."
"That's quite a big bow you've got there."
"My mother gave it to me for my going away present. She says it makes me pretty."
"Oh well that's nice. Anyway, onto the sorting."
"It doesn't."
"Huh?"
"It doesn't make me look pretty. I know what all the girls say about me. They call me a toad. An ugly fat toad wearing a bow. They told me that on the train here."
"I'm sure they didn't mean..."
"Mr. Hat sir?"
"Yes."
"What makes girls like each other?"
"I'm afraid I don't know."
"Oh. Because I've tried everything. The magazines say that girls like pink, so I wear pink and they still call me a toad. I got a fluffy kitten named Priscilla and no one would come to see her even though everyone says girls like kittens. I hosted a tea party for my birthday last year. All the invitations had lace and bows on them, and no one came. My mother says she can't understand what went wrong with me. She did everything a mother is supposed to, so it must be my fault."
"You shouldn't believe that."
"I thought it would be different here. A new place, a new chance."
"Miss Umbridge it can be. I'm sure things will be better for you here."
"You're right Mr. Hat."
"I am?"
"Yes. I was giving it some thought, and well, nobody ever made fun of Angela even though she had a crooked nose and pimples. Do you know why?
"No."
"Because they were afraid of her. Her father was the vice principal and no one wanted to be expelled."
"Miss Umbridge, that's not what I meant before."
"If I can't make them like me, at least they can fear me."
"Miss Umbridge."
"No Mr. Hat. Things are going to change now. You'll see."
"I'm afraid I will."
SLYTHERIN!