Mass Effect: At Dawn Again - English Version - Chapter 49: Foreboding, a mass effect fanfic

Loyalties:

Mass Effect Trilogy is a Bioware game. For any reference to the Official Game All rights are owned by Bioware. The Fan Fiction "Mass Effect At Dawn Again" is fruit of my imagination and my work, it is a free tribute, passionate and personal to a great video game. It is not allowed any use partial or total for profit and not.

Chapter 48

Foreboding

Karin and Aethyta hold each other in an endless embrace, in the soft light of the room. Comfortably lying on the bed, the partners linger in the same wet silence still dense with emotion.

Dr Chakwas rode her own memories, for a long time, just sucked into a whirlpool of multiform emotions awakened by Liara's narration. The young Asari has just reluctantly left Shepard's room to force herself to a few hours of refreshing sleep. Karin is still absorbed. Closed eyes, she listens enraptured to the trampling of the rebellious heart of her beloved one, that has been hammering tirelessly under her cheek for hours, at the wild rhythm of a runaway horse.

Even the usual thorn of painful fear has become more piercing, edged. Karin pushes it out of her mind with a fit of rebellion. She is more and more determined not to be oppressed by the sordid foreboding, which has nestled in the middle of her heart for weeks now, and is watching her, lurking in the dark, like a potbellied spider and hungry in the shadow of its web. The woman holds to her wonderful mate, convinced as she is, that she could not feel, for anyone else and in any other life, the same abandonment and the same passion, never again.

Even Aethyta is still equally absorbed. She has long listened to the heartfelt voice of her daughter, with a heart full of wind. Lulled only by the soft texture of Karin's hair between her fingers, she let herself be inundated with memories and emotions that for the most part, she had smelled only from afar. The former Priestess of Atheme has cursed herself, a hundred and a thousand times more, for being so little present in the life of a daughter so loved as held irremediably far away from her life. The elderly parent never stopped scolding herself, as she threw her eyes and soul closer into the pains suffered by her little girl, during the long and painful years of the war just ended. She feels pervaded with deep compassion and love, an infinite ocean of love.

The matriarch's hand is sweet and gentle. The long blue fingers have not yet stopped moving in Karin's hair, with affectionate slowness. From time to time, sensual lips sit on the forehead of the woman she loves, and sprinkle her with tender kisses, as if to emphasize the same awareness and an identical, extraordinary abandonment.

Karin feels it clearly. She perceives all the intensity of Aethyta's love, on the skin and in the soul, as a voluptuous scent, rising within her from the nostrils to the heart. Karin feels completely wrapped up. She breathes it in great mouthfuls and lets herself be inebriated. She had never felt so extraordinarily happy and completely terrified at the same time. The woman forces herself to evade anxiety, with a burst of therapeutic emotion.

"I love you Thyta!... You... no one has ever made me feel so happy!... I don't know how the hell you do it, but... don't you dare stop doing!" She murmurs under her breath, in the crook of her beloved's neck. Her voice excited with sweetness, dissolves the long spell of silence.

The matriarch gives back with a half-smile, in response to the pleasant thrill of sensual satisfaction, which from the neck takes to descend down her spine. The whiteness of her teeth shine in the dimness, like a diamond of light set in the twilight of the evening. The eyes of the inscrutable creature, hitherto left half-closed and drenched with emotion, open languidly, with a subtle quiver of eyelashes, like the petals of a nocturnal flower, beaded with the fresh morning dew.

They are eyes of love, which get lost in Karin's eyes and color them with blue and caresses. The sensual silence ignites the waiting with desire. Lips looking for lips. Smiles touching each other. Breaths that dance in the breaths and then merge, chained with sweetness in an endless, wonderful kiss. Hearts, which take flight and soar above the clouds, beyond pain and fear, on the wings of an unbreakable bond, which knows no time, no end. Heartbeats galloping free in the sun, brave keepers of a throbbing feeling, that does not want to surrender and it will not give up.

"I love you too, Sugary!" Aethyta's lips move tenderly on her partner's lips, in a warm and sensual whisper, which captivates Karin's senses and takes her breath away. "I've had so much in these few months with you, that I feel like I'm loving you for centuries!" She adds passionately, with a final breath of love on Karin's lips, before turning away the melancholy look from the face of the woman she loves and who is able to give a name to her most unmentionable thoughts, without any visible effort.

"Hey, Sweetie, you seem pretty shaken up... what's wrong?" In fact, she asks punctually. Her questioning look swollen with tenderness still glued on Thyta face. The human woman slowly weaves her fingers between those of her glamorous companion Asari, who does not respond immediately, but punctually returns the ardent grip of empathy. "You're right!" She admits, after a silence like suspended in time. The brow frowned in a grimace of discomfort, she begins to explain. "Reliving the most decisive and painful stages of this dirty war with the eyes of Liara, immersed up to my neck in her pain... My poor little one!" She sighs, unable to finish the sentence, while the blue of her eyes is filled with white tears, like the foam on the crests of stubborn waves, which claim to tame the sea.

Karin brings Aethyta's hands to her lips, with a rush of tenderness, and kisses them with devotion. The Asari barely retains the inner tidal wave, which ferments in her chest, and reciprocates every kiss, with identical ardor. When she manages to raise a firm look again, starts pacing back and forth, with nervous steps, as a lioness separated by force from her cubs would do. The words of Liara's father reach Karin's heart, fast and light, like a breath of wind in the bare branches of autumn.

"Being thrown into Shepard's horrific tragedy was..." She begins with a hoarse and scratchy tone, the words hissed in mid-voice, the forehead wrinkled with regret. She doesn't even aware she is gesticulating fervently as snaps with a wild roar. "For a thousand flaming assholes! What the hell kind of decision she had to make! If that gal had not a pair of big balls the size of two air balloons, we'd all be in the ass of a fucking Reaper now, making stinky provisions of gears and bolts!"

Karin nods conspicuously, while she looks at the agile figure, which is moving back and forth in the twilight of the room. She has always appreciated Aethyta's colorful way of exorcising the drama of events, even in the worst situations. Even when reality becomes an unbearable nightmare.

The fiery matriarch stops suddenly, right in front of the woman and takes her hands again, with unexpected tenderness. The sweeten gaze of hers goes up Karin's cheekbones, like a sensual caress. Her voice, at first irritated, softens, becomes subdued, as if veiled by a tired bitterness. Even the thin slumped shoulders reveal the weight of an ancient burden.

"You know, having shared so vividly their terrible last day... everything they went through! It was like finding myself floundering knee-deep in the same shit once more, but with the bloody awareness that my daughter was in desperate need of help, and... and I wasn't there for her!" She confesses in a thread of voice, eyes hanging in the gaze of Karin, who, to prevent herself from being moved, must clench her jaws, until she can hear them creaking.

But she does not cry. The woman holds her breath, guided by the deep feeling that inspires her every gesture and suggests the right words to say. She turns to Aethyta, in an impulse of providential optimism, drawn from the depths of her heart. "Don't torture yourself, honey. You don't deserve any more pain, believe me. Besides, you're here now and won't leave her again! That's all that really matters, right now!" She reassures in one breath, with a soft and convincing voice, without ever taking her eyes off the turbulent river, which has not yet stopped bubbling in the cloudy eyes of her loved one.

"Yeah, maybe you're right! Well, luckily you were there, my Love!" Aethyta agrees, with a grimace of relief. Then, she straightens on the back, saying grimly. "Holy Tits! What kind of fucking agony must've been, though!"

The doctor shrugs her shoulders. She looks down and tries to harness her emotion, as she moves inside the Asari's embrace. "There were millions of people from hundreds of worlds, who were struggling, suffering and dying that day, and... out of those millions, there were us!" She remembers, in a proud tone, with a wistful look in her eyes. "We had no other choice Thyta, you know that too... none of us had any. Personally, I was up for anything that awful day. However, when I saw Liara before me, with a huge shrapnel lodged in her abdomen, it stopped my heart!" Karin sighs. She can't avoid the icy chill that runs on her skin at the very thought, but she immediately feels the comfort of Aethyta's warm embrace.

"Poor baby, she must've been in immense pain! Who knows how difficult it was, even for you!" The matriarch says under her breath, sharing the same cold shiver. "Your daughter was desperate, and in those moments, she didn't think about herself. She just didn't care..." Karin reveals, in a serious tone. "Goddess!" The other groans, in a strangled voice. A handful of words gets caught at the bottom of her throat. Karin gives Thyta a soothing glance, before resuming speaking, with a serious face.

"She just wanted to merge with Shepard, didn't plan to save herself... not without her! That's what the eyes of Liara told me. That's why I gave her surgery." "I see!" The matriarch nods empathetically. "You did well!" She adds. "Knowing Liara's stubbornness, there was no other way." Karin gives Thyta a sideways look, her back against the chest of her partner, adds with a voice full of admiration. "You know, she was very good and very brave. She didn't even make a groan, and remained absolutely motionless all the time. I still wonder how the hell she did it!"

Aethyta smiles, in an emotional eruption of pure paternal pride. "Yeah, my kiddo is absolutely special!" Gloats, without false modesty, as she draws Karin closer. They kiss deeply, softly, warmly. Thyta whispers to Karin's lips all her gratitude. "But I know for sure Liara could have had no better doctor... Thank you my Love, you... you saved her life!" They embrace, silently. They kiss again, slowly undressing each other, in the soft light of the room.

She has just left the room. Her voice resonates for a long time in Shepard's thoughts. Liara's gentle tone envelops the woman, like a tender caress on the forehead, a slight breath of fingers in the hair, a sweet touch of lips on the mouth. She feels, like a swaying of senses, inside a sea of emotions. Some beautiful, some terrible. "I swear, never again!" The woman, lying in bed, remembers the promise. She feels a breath of fear and remorse for not being able to keep true to that promise yet. She cannot disappoint her Soulmate, but more than that, she does not want to.

She does not want her to get suffer. She remembers how deeply she has fallen in love with Liara. She remembers everything about her. Shepard remembers the scent of her skin, the melody of her voice, the lovely blue lakes that shine in her eyes. She remembers the overwhelming warmth of her heart, the deep tenderness that makes her own soul shine with wonder if only Liara touches her hand. The young woman, lying on the bed remembers the night. Pitch dark, endless and suffocating night. Frightening, cold and lonely night. Empty night. She remembers the sunrise, which every day enters the room lightly, in a faint ray of light, and suddenly brightens the darkness, like a smile of Liara.

She wants to move, open her eyes, run to Liara and call her name again. She wants to hold her in her arms, fall asleep on her breast, feel again the warmth of her body, and the breath of Liara on her lips. She wants to smile at her and feel her own happiness and Liara's grow. She wants to lean tenderly on Liara's lips and be bewitched.

Shepard's mind is stubborn, obstinate, resolute, but... she has to admit that her body does not belong to herself by now!

The young Asari observes the first ray of light filtering through the shutters left ajar, purposely. The darkness fades slowly, in ever new delicate shades of light, while the fine dust particles dance in the reflections of the new day just born. Liara has not slept a wink last night. She was waiting for dawn with too much trepidation to sleep. She is aware that, along with Shepard, she is about to make her final journey along the memory trail. That's why her heart is pounding wildly, with a sense of panic and joy at once.

She slowly gets out of bed, controlling her movements, not to risk waking up the little creature she carries in her womb. The maiden caresses her own belly with the sweetness of a mother not completely bloomed yet. Then wears a loose-fitting pink tunic, elegantly edged in violet. She gives herself a fragrant blueberry infusion with a couple of soft cookies, then finally, slips into the long hallway.

Liara is beautiful, despite the deep dark circles. Despite the bump belly. Despite her worries and the pain that tears her heart out of her chest, every time she looks at the closed eyes of the woman she loves, still motionless in her hospital bed. "This is it!" She thinks, as the room door opens and then closes behind her. "It's time for you to come home, my love. And you will come back... one way or another!" She looks at Shepard, with loving and resolute eyes, while a stubborn thought slips easily from mind to mind, from heart to heart. "I promise!"

Shepard is still, wrapped in sheets. Perhaps, aware of Liara's promise. However, her eyes are closed, and her face reflects the usual quiet expression, as if she were sound asleep! Liara approaches with silent steps, sure that her mate has already heard her coming. She leans down on the bed and greets her, placing a tender kiss on the impassive lips of the woman she loves more than she can ever describe in words.

The young Asari sits down very close to the bed, and without talking, picks up Shepard's hand. She caresses it with her own lips, before placing it gently on her baby bump, with a ritual now become habitual. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. All the air held in her lungs, until the body starts begging for oxygen. "Not yet." She thinks, stubbornly.

The air comes out, slowly and completely, before nourishing every cell with new lifeblood. Eventually, Liara begins to speak, without looking away from Shepard's face anymore. The mellow voice of the young Asari spreads through the room, like the heat of the sun after a thunderstorm.

"Where before there was you, only an ocean of silence remained! I felt thrown out of my universe, with no air or soul. Heart locked in a dark box, too tight to keep beating. Everything inside me has become missing, like in a nightmare with no other awakening but the absence of you.

Well, love, you know, actually, what happened after that, I don't remember much. Looks like the Normandy drifted away just before the overload. So, I can just guess Joker saved our delicate bottoms with another one of his famous impossible feats! Your ship suffered some damage, indeed, but nothing we couldn't fix. The only thing that could no longer be fixed was... it was my heart!"

Liara must make an effort of concentration not to be moved, and remember new details of those terrible days still wrapped in a painful fog. She gropes through memories, like in a misted glass reflection.

"Locked in my cabin, soul in agony, I didn't want to see anyone, not even Tali. I spent my first two days alone, not eating or sleeping a wink. I could only keep looking for you, stubbornly, relentlessly. I did my best to stay focused and called you with all my strength, but... nothing! No signs, no answers!

The silence, so frightening and suffocating, grew and grew within me. It enveloped my soul in the sands of a boundless desert, which withered my hope, petrified my desires and cast a gloom over me, that only tears could soothe...

Then, I cried! Desperately, inconsolably, for hours. Unstoppable tears gushed out, running like a river unable to quench the thirst of my soul. I was too much afraid of reality, too much dismayed by your absence. I didn't know how to resign myself living without you. I did not know how not to surrender to that terrible fate that once again struck my life, like a curse. So, I tried again and again!

Only Karin could get into my cabin because of the dressing. In fact, it was she who gave me the news that petrified my heart in the chest, permanently. She told me the crew was gathering in front of the Memorial to commemorate our fallen. Kaidan was about to put down a plaque in memory of Admiral Anderson. My friend's maternal attitude was clear even in the fog of my senses dazed of pain. Karin was trying with all her heart to protect me and spare me, as much as possible, any further pain. She tactfully let me know that Garrus had offered to put down a plaque in your memory, whether I didn't have the strength myself.

"No! I wanna do it... it's up to me!" I breathed out a disarticulated stutter, staring at Karin, with inexpressive eyes dug into the furrow of deep dark circles. "Are you sure about that, Angel?" She wanted to know. "Maybe you should let Garrus do it. It might be too much painful, and you're still recovering, honey!" She ventured cautiously, casting perplexed glances, from behind her medical scanner. "Don't worry Karin, I'm fine…" I lied, meeting her eyes reddened by suffering. "She'd want me to do it!" I told back wearily, as I tried to walk towards the door with trembling legs made of jelly.

I stared at the Memorial in front of me, in a glassy silence. Cold claws wrapped my heart with greedy sharp fingers. As Kaidan moved to place the plaque in memory of the Admiral, up there in the middle column, I realized I was holding the one that someone had prepared for you. It was just a simple piece of metal, but it gave me an unpleasant tingling under my fingers. A sort of physical discomfort, which forced me to lower my gaze mechanically, reaching for the strength to read... "Commander Shepard," it said... nothing but "Shepard".

I couldn't help but caress every single letter, with the sweetness of the indelible love that still kept me alive. I felt like I was touching your face, feeling the silky texture of your honey-colored hair under my fingers, brushing your gentle lips. And I felt as if I could see the bright blue of your eyes and feel on my skin the warm sun of your smile. Suddenly, I realized that plaque in my hands was all I had left of you. I thought I was sinking forever, swallowed by a cruel darkness, from the depths of which my soul desperately screamed your name and the entire universe of love that I couldn't stop feeling for you.

The moment I took the first step, I thought I was going to pass out, but I didn't wanna leave everything I had left of you in other hands. I staggered slowly towards the Memorial, trying to look up. That's when I felt it. It was like a quiver. I felt a long shiver running through my mind. It was feeble, so imperceptible. And yet, I would have recognized it in a million other chills, I had no doubt... it was you! "Liara... Liara... help... me!" I froze out of breath while I identified the words one by one. I repeated them to myself, over and over again. My heart went up my throat and I felt like I was choking on joy! I heard you! It was you, I was sure. I couldn't possibly go wrong. Oh, Goddess! Oh, my love, you... oh, you... You were alive!

I still don't understand how it was! Maybe the Catalyst took pity on you, or it was the blast wave to throw you into the Conduit sheer luck. Or else it was your promise... my prayers, or... who knows! I certainly didn't waste any time asking myself that day. I immediately contacted Admiral Hackett instead, and then... then, I came back to live!"

Silence returns in the small white room. A light silence, across the weary air. It surrounds the two motionless figures, only disturbed by the sound of the usual devices, which are monitoring the vital signs of the young woman, with blond honey colored hair, who is lying in bed. Liara looks at that beautiful human face, caressing it with her eyes.

Shepard is still, wrapped in sheets, eyes closed, the peaceful face, as if she were asleep! Liara knows she is not sleeping at all. The Asari closes her eyes and moves her fingers, affectionately intertwined with her mate's motionless fingers. She clings to that helpless hand, carrying it to her breast, gently pressing it under her lips, before wrapping them both in a dense and iridescent blue halo. They spend a few moments in a silence full of emotion, until the eyes of the young Asari are tinged with an inscrutable shade of Eternity once again.

No variation, no reaction. The same silence, and the same endless expectation. Aethyta's gaze hides in the shadows, as her hands caress Karin's shoulders, tenderly. Her mind, however, is far away, distracted, as trapped in bad thoughts. Karin feels Liara's father's loving fingers move affectionately on her back, penetrating her soul and making it vibrate. She too is experiencing the same emotions, has long acquired an identical awareness, shares the same courage and the same fear. They both know it. They've always known it. There's nothing to add, nothing to explain. Perhaps, very soon they will have to say goodbye. Although the couple is preparing bravely from the beginning, it hurts a little more every day.

"I know!" Karin whispers, without turning around, so as not to hold Aethyta's gaze. "Before Liara returns, I wanna run a very thorough check on Shepard. If there was even the slightest variation, I will find it!" She assures, with a resolute tone, carefully hiding her agitated heart behind the professional gestures of her fingers, which fly nimbly over the terminal, and transfer the latest updates to her omni-tool.

Liara's father kisses Karin's hair in response. With trembling fingers, she slowly grazes the face of the woman she loves, follows the edges of her cheek, and lingers for a long time on her lips, in a fascinated silence. Karin's eyes are closed. The enraptured breath of hers envelops Aaethyta's shy and delicate smile. Their excited lips caress each other in a sweet and silent kiss. "Can I... come with you?" Aethyta sighs, with a moan of hesitation, lips still brushing to Karin's. "Oh, of course you can!" The woman's eyes are still closed, as she caresses Aethyta's lips with a reaction full of loving sweetness.

The sound of the door is familiar. Shepard immediately recognizes Karin's voice. "Hi Commander, did I wake you up?" She asks in a light tone. "I just need to run some control scans. Don't worry, you can keep sleeping if you want." Something strange runs through the air. An imperceptible, unusual sense of tautness tickles the senses of the woman who lies in bed. While turning on her medical scanner the doctor does her best, to stay neutral and professional.

She focuses, body and soul, in a very accurate scanning job, trying to ignore the anxiety, which is making her legs increasingly unstable and wobbly. Every detection checked with absolute precision, carefully, meticulously, zealously. After that, she crosschecks the data, studies them, intertwines them in very accurate comparisons, while her mocking heart climbs up her throat, with the sharp claws of a frightened cat!

Aethyta is standing behind her. Still and silent, she observes her partner, just illuminated by the dim light of the night lamp. Time runs in shivers. The medical instruments punctuate it, with the typical monotony. Shepard is still, between the sheets, closed eyes, peaceful face, as if she were asleep. She is breathing and her pulse is steady. However, there was something strange about Karin's voice. Something that does not seem like the usual routine to Shepard!

"Nothing! There isn't a shred of a hint suggesting an improvement, a possible spontaneous recovery!" The doctor passes a refreshing hand on the damp and tired eyes, before shaking the disconsolate head. "At this point, waiting any further... might prove dangerous, perhaps... fatal!" She confesses in a resigned sigh, barely choking a ball of tears. Bitter tears, which have been trying to climb up her throat the whole time, and which Karin frankly does not know how much longer she will be able to push back.

Aethyta, for her part, is not at all surprised. The icy twilight of awareness draws the sharp outline of her face in the dim light, like a moonbeam draws the sharp edge of an ice statue, which stands out in the darkness of a winter night. Deep down she had long feared that Shepard would not come back... not alone.

Thyta has to make an effort of self-control while the heart digs a cave in the middle of her chest. The measured gestures of the matriarch convey a quiet confidence, her gloomy eyes, however, disclose just a sorrowful awareness. "Here we go!" She thinks. "It's up to me now!" She approaches behind Karin, who instead finds no peace, still eager to compare feverishly the new data with those uploaded in the massive Shepard's medical database for the last months. Aethyta's body, which gently presses on her back, makes her wince. The Asari turns off Karin's omni-tool, with careful and delicate hand gestures. Then, she holds her mate safely in her arms, without giving the woman time to protest. Thyta holds Karin close to her, with closed eyes, and a tumult of emotions seething in her chest, patiently waiting for the woman human she loves to stop shaking.

"I know, Honey, I know!... Don't worry, it's all right! Come, my love... we have all night to say goodbye!" She whispers, in the crook of Karin's neck. Her voice laps woman's senses, in a raspy but reassuring scratch.