When morning came Regina found herself alone in the bed, and Emma was burning eggs downstairs. Regina knew that what had happened last night was likely something that Emma was just not ready to face, so she decided it was something they could talk about with Archie when the time was right. It wasn't at the top of the list, but it was important.
"I fully understand that we need to talk about everything that happened since we were here last, but, I don't feel right not telling Emma the truth" Regina's mouth felt dry and Emma stilled. "I. I saw. We were spying on you"
As much as Archie hated to admit it you could hear the metaphorical crickets as Emma looked sharply at the woman sitting next to her. Emma's hands balled into fists as her mind raced. Heart pounding, she didn't know what to think. What to say, all she knew was that she couldn't fall to her base instincts. No, she absolutely had to see all of this through.
"What do you mean spying, when? How long?" Was uttered between gritted teeth. Emma was livid, hurt, and she was afraid of the answer. Regina looked guilty, but that didn't lessen Emma's rage. Emma felt like her whole body was shaking. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, to use the tools to hold back the adrenaline and anger flooding her system.
"We were watching you. With Ruby." Whispered Regina. "I. We had to make sure you didn't kill each other. At the start. A lot were there, but once it turned. Into what it was. It was only Granny and I, and I know that doesn't make it right. We thought you may kill each other, and even Gold couldn't get through the barrier to stop what was going on"
All of that was true, even Rumple himself couldn't get past Emma's magic. She was too powerful, and Regina was a little afraid of what Emma could actually do. Especially when you added in she had Ruby's gifts now. Speed, strength, heightened senses. Emma was strong enough on her own, but getting Emma angry now could very well prove disastrous - but whatever consequences she had to face Regina wasn't going to lie to the blonde. Not again, while she knew she could never truly make up for what she had done she still wanted to build some sort of future with her true love.
Emerald eyes calculated every possible escape point in the room. Her brain went a hundred miles an hour as her body was flooded in shame. Fueled by true hate or not, what happened with Ruby was not something she was proud of and knowing not only the woman she couldn't help but love watched but Granny? That was too much, it felt like she was being buried alive. Fighting back those feelings was hard, but Emma knew she had to. That was why she was here, with Archie. To get through these sorts of things, and Emma didn't want to fail.
"I'm. Hurt. Ashamed. However, I forgive you for watching" Emma choked out. She did, she could understand Regina's point of view even if she hated what had happened. If the tables were reversed she likely would have done the same thing, and forgiving Regina for watching was easier than thinking about it forever.
With that revelation and conclusion out of the way all that was left was for the cricket to catch up on what had happened since the women had left. The duo relayed what had happened since they'd last seen him, including what Rumple had said and the talks they'd had the night prior. He was quite proud of the way they were openly communicating, especially considering their past and what both women secretly hoped could come of their reconnection. However he did point out some flaws in their plans and ideas.
Archie wanted to see them succeed, and to do that he had to take into account factors the two women hadn't thought about. If they spoke to Snow and David first then they would blab and whine to whomever would listen - neither could keep a secret to save their own lives. Speaking to Ruby first could very well set Emma off in such a way to put an end to her progress. More so, tackling every person in one day would emotionally and mentally exhaust not only Emma but himself and Regina as well.
With reluctance the two women agreed to his alterations, they knew he was right. Not only had he spent countless years as the literal embodiment of a conscience, but he really was a brilliant therapist. However, that meant the order was changed and it meant Emma had to face Henry first. Which she didn't want to do, but as much as she hated to admit it Archie had proved his points well.
Henry had readily agreed to meet Emma, even with the knowledge that while he and Emma would be alone in Regina's office at town hall that his other mother and Archie would be watching through a magic mirror in the conference room next to the mayoral office. He was curious, and a bit concerned, but he always craved Emma's attention no matter the circumstances.
"Before we get started. I. I really just want you to listen at first, and then you can ask or say whatever you want. Is that okay?" Emma asked Henry. He nodded. Unsure of what was going on, all he knew was that they needed to talk. He noted that Emma looked really uncomfortable, and jacked up on energy drinks all at once
Minutes passed in silence as Emma tried to figure out what to say, she had written it all down and had studied it and had rewritten but now that he was before her. She didn't know what to say. While Henry just studied her face, a sort of. Dread filling his stomach, he was scared he wasn't going to like what she was about to say. He wondered if she was pregnant or had cancer. However he was too scared to ask, she had asked him to stay silent - for now.
"I. I will answer questions if you want about your father, but know you will not like the answers you will find. I am sorry that I treat Rhydian differently than you, I don't mean to. You are my son, and I do love you. However, I was young Henry, if nothing else, I was too young. I was in jail, I had no family, no money. I lived on the streets because I refused to be a whore for money after I was released. You could have died from malnutrition or worse. I was on the streets for two years trying to find steady work and build a life." This was not what Henry had been expecting her to say. She never spoke about his father.
Emma paused, feeling guilty. It wasn't though she didn't love Henry, it was just. She saw his father in him, and she had always felt inferior for not being able to care for him. Never felt worthy of being his parent when she had lost so much time. When she had to give him up for his best chance of life, she had loved him then, but she had been a child herself. A child with no family, no money, Emma had nothing to offer him.
"I knew I couldn't do right by you Henry, I wanted to, I. I named you something silly so I had something to remember you by. I. I picked your mother, did you know that? I saw her picture and she looked so hopeful. She wrote a beautiful letter about why she wanted you, and when I read it. I wished she had been my mother" A sour look passed both Henry and Emma's face at that. "I wanted a mother who had loved me, kept me, and she. She wanted you so badly Henry. She had love, money, stability, she could give you things I couldn't. So I entrusted you to her so you could have a life. So you wouldn't struggle, so you wouldn't be taken away. If they found out I was on the streets with you, I couldn't risk you going into foster care. I didn't toss you away like garbage, I. I did it out of love, I swear to you that."
"I know you did, I know you gave me my best chance" Henry whispered softly. Wiping at his eyes. Despite wishing Emma had kept him, he wouldn't trade having Regina as his mother. He knew, deep down, that being adopted had been the best thing to ever happen to him. Something he had been gifted - unlike his blonde parent who had been on her own her whole life.
"I. I didn't have Rhydian to replace you, nor could he, but I had money. I had a healthy place to be, my life was in order. I wanted a family Henry, and having a child was the easiest way. I love you, and him, and yes their are differences between you. I did not raise you in the beginning, and then I felt too guilty to truly be a parent until you were grown and for that I can not apologize. Now you are a full grown man, and Rhydian but a child. If. If I were to have another I would love them as much as I love the both of you, but Henry if you are feeling left out I need you to tell me because I simply never noticed that you felt that way until your mother told me a few days ago and I am so very sorry" Henry may not have a built in lie detector like Emma did, but he knew she was being honest.
From where Archie and Regina were watching they couldn't help but wipe at their eyes. Emma seemed so heartbroken as she spoke, and Henry was very accepting. Speaking minimally, and Regina was so proud of how much had grown. He really was becoming a good man, she had some fears she would screw him up and while he had issues with his brother and mother he really was trying to be better.
Archie was rather proud of both mother and son. He had concerns whether Henry could really sit down and truly listen to what needed to be said to him. Henry was a smart person, but he could be childish and selfish. However, he had been coming along with his jealousy and anger towards his birth mother and brother in therapy the last few weeks. Even with that he was doing better than Archie had expected. Archie made note to bring that up in his next session with the young man.
"I forgive you, and Archie is helping me understand the jealousy and other emotions I hold when it comes to him." Henry reached out and squeezed her hand to reassure her. "If you want more children I am okay with that, I even encourage it. You and mom deserve to have as large of a family as you want. I will probably struggle, but I will see Archie and do my best to communicate my needs to you and mom" Henry paused.
While Henry was silent, Emma reached over and pulled him into an awkward over the table hug. She did love him, and she was so thankful that the conversation was going as smoothly as it had been. It was also nice to know that he wouldn't hate her if she did have another child, which, truthfully she wasn't sure if she would or not but knowing he was in her corner really did make her feel better.
"I want to know about my father." Those seven words interrupted their hug and Emma couldn't help but jerk out the hug and sit back down. Her face ashen white, sweat beading on her forehead. She had hoped he wouldn't want to know, but she had known in her heart that this was bound to happen.
The lie she had told him so long ago, about a heroic firefighter who had died, had been a tough pill to swallow. Emma had felt that was what was best for him, to give him something to believe in. It was better than telling him the truth, but he was a man now. He wanted the truth, even after the warning she had given him. Emma stared at her son, hoping he would take his words back. Change his mind, but he didn't. He waited patiently for her to gain the strength she needed.
"Your father. I. I am unsure of how much detail you truly want, so. So." Emma paused. She didn't want to do this, especially with Archie and Regina watching. She had no choice. She had to "The shortest form I can think of was your father wasn't my friend or boyfriend"
Letting out a sigh Henry ran a hand down his face. Archie placed a calming hand on Regina's knee as she looked ready to poof into the room and hold the blonde who clearly wanted out of there. Emma just stared at her son, unblinking, not sure what else to say. Waiting for some sort of clue of what she should do. Henry gave her a sad smile, and rubbed his hands together nervously.
"I. I know your waiting for me to ask a question. I. Fuck. I don't know how much I want to know, but, I guess, to start, my father wasn't a one night stand was he?" He stated softly. He had suspected, for a long time, that his mother hadn't loved his father. However Henry had not expected this turn of events.
"I've never had a one night stand with a man" Admitted Emma. "Look. Henry, do you want me to continue?" Henry nodded. "I've never slept with a man of my own will" Henry covered his mouth to bite back the sob that threatened to escape.
Rape wasn't something Henry had needed to fear. This world was supposed to be better than the old one, where he knew Leopold, his great-grandfather, had done despicable things to his mother. He had been stupid as a child, but as he had grown he had discovered just what a sixty year old man wanted a fifteen year old bride for. To know that both mothers had suffered like that, to know that he was the product of that sort of union. It broke his heart, and he wished it wasn't true.
"Do I look like him?" His voice broke as he asked. He wanted her to tell him no, afterall he did look a little like Snow. He had already feared he looked like Leopold, and now this. This was heartbreaking and he was doing his best not to show it. He didn't want to make Emma hurt, or feel guilty.
After all he had been the one to ask questions when he had been expressly told he wouldn't like them. That had bitten him in the ass more than once in the past, he knew he had trouble with anger and jealousy. Knew he had a superiority complex - he fully blamed his grandparents for that, but he had always clung to the fact his mom was the savior. That his father had been a hero, because while he knew Emma hadn't loved him he hadn't thought she lied. Not until now.
"Yes. You do, but that doesn't make you anything like him. You are sweet, kind, and caring. Usually, you do have your issues, but Henry, everyone does. You are growing, you are going to be a good man, and I love you. I love that I got to know you. Everything between us stems from. Feeling inferior. I couldn't be what you needed when you were born, no matter how I wished to be able to. Can you. Can you understand?" Emma was being honest, and Henry knew that.
"I do. You. Mom. You did make the best choice. Even. Even if I got some girl pregnant right now I wouldn't be able to care for the baby or her right now. And I am older than you were, I have parents who love and support me, one who can conjure gold, and I think I would still give the baby up for adoption. I'm too young, and I understand the importance of putting a baby first. Sometimes. Sometimes I just feel. Less important than Rhydian. I know I shouldn't. But. You were always. Scared? To get close to me"
That was like hitting the nail on the head, by the time Henry had been born he wasn't some parasite as Emma had feared. He was a little being, brought to her in a bad way, but part of her no matter what. She had loved him, feared him, and had been unable to care for him as a mother should. So, she had done right by him and moved on with her life. Then she had Rhydian and in a flash she had lost him. Emma wouldn't deny she loved Henry, but getting close to any child after that type of loss was difficult.
"That was part of it. Losing Rhydian. I was always so scared your mother would leave me, or that you would get hurt. I. When Rhydian" Emma paused before forcing herself to say it "died. It broke me in ways I can't put words to. I. I am sorry I didn't go about it in the right way"
"I. Understand. I do and I forgive you. Your my mom, but your right. You did come in late, like a step parent sort of role. And I know you love me, and I feel, well I hope anyway, this talk will help us have a better relationship." Henry gave Emma a hopeful smile.
Once more Emma reached over to squeeze his hand. She did love him, and she really hoped he was right. She wanted to be closer to him, and wanted to have a role in his life. She felt like he should know Rhydian, and vice versa. Pretending nothing was wrong between them would be wrong, and she thought maybe a joint session with Archie may help their relationship if this much needed heart-baring session wasn't enough.
"I would like that, I really would" Emma paused. "I have a lot to work on, and I am doing my best but don't feel like you can't point out when I'm making mistakes. I love you, that much is true. However I never really knew what sort of role to take with you, we should. Take it slow, we are parent and child but also friends."
"I have issues with jealousy and feeling inferior and superior all at once, I think it's a charming problem" Henry said with a sad laugh. He ran a hand through his hair. "I think we make much better friends, like before the curse broke.. You just wanted to make sure my mom was cool, and you know, sex her up."
Emma shook her head at him. She was like him, sometimes had to throw in an uncomfortable joke to ease the tension. Her heart felt heavy and relieved all at once, and now that they were done with the talking portion they stood up and hugged before she watched Henry leave, a sad but content smile on his face. She headed over to Archie and Regina after, knowing if she didn't she'd head straight towards the bar for a vat of whiskey.