A/N: I wasn't going to update today because I'm getting really behind with my notes, but I couldn't delay updating because I needed to say a HUGE THANK YOU for over 200 reviews! That's really incredible guys and I'm incredibly touched and thankful for having all of your support and enthusiasm for this story. So this is my small small way of saying thank you. It's a milestone I didn't think I'd reach and I'm really grateful everyone – a huge hug to you all! This chapter is a bit more positive after last chapter's depression lol. Hope you enjoy it!
Katara's POV:
2 days later - 3pm
I pour myself another cup of coffee alongside my sandwich as I take a seat in the kitchen with a sigh, my mind preoccupied with Sokka's sudden distant behaviour. 'It's like he's mad, but I don't know why.' I raise the sandwich to my lips just as I hear footsteps entering the room. My orbs flicker briefly to the sound to find Aang frozen in place. I swallow. 'I've been ignoring and avoiding him since the incident.' I draw my gaze back to the piece of bread in my hands, sensing the hesitation in his stance.
"I'm not going to stop you from eating." I mutter, freeing the airbender from his frozen state as he rubs the back of his neck.
"Right. Thanks." He utters, his voice jerky and out of place as he crosses the room towards the fridge. I try to keep my eyes to myself, but I can't help but not watch him. His head is tipped down while his eyes remain drawn to the ground and his shoulders are sagged in defeat. I bite my lip at the rise of concern that claws itself up within me, but I stamp on it. 'No. I'm not feeling sorry for him. He did it to himself.' I try to convince myself, but compassion is just as an inherent part of me as is my stubbornness.
"How was your holiday?" The words shoot out of my mouth before I can change my mind. The boy cringes at the question as his head pokes out from behind the fridge with some bread and hummus in his hands.
"It was fine..." He pauses, not knowing whether to continue the conversation or not. "...was yours alright?" He queries quietly. I drop my eyes to my plate.
"It was fine." I lie, not telling him about how wrong Christmas felt without Mum or how twisted I felt over what happened, how badly I wanted to call him. I see the airbender visibly swallow as he nods. Awkward silence descends between us as the tattooed boy goes over to the table top and starts digging around for a knife to smear the hummus on his bread.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I question quietly. Aang pauses, his body becoming rigid as his stormy orbs remain fixed on his bread.
"Can we not talk about this?" Aang requests, his voice so small. I furrow my eyebrows at his behaviour.
"I have a right to know. You lied to us, I just...I want to know why." I express, but what I hadn't counted on was the boy's shoulders shaking so hard as he tries to hold back tears. I half rise from my chair in worry, until he shakes his head at me. I cautiously sit back, but keep my eyes on him.
"Your brother came to me with similar questions and now he hates me even more. I...I can't take it if you treat me worse." The airbender explains, his voice cracking. I part my lips in shock. 'So that explains Sokka's sudden sour mood.'
"Maybe he was overreacting?" I suggest, but he simply shakes his head.
"No, he...has a right to be mad. You both do." He pauses to rest a hand over his eyes. "I'm so sorry." He chokes out. My throat goes dry at the torture in his voice and without further ado I'm on my feet, pulling his hand away from his face to reveal tears already running down his cheeks. My heart lurches at the sight.
"Hey hey, take a deep breath." I soothe, pushing my own feelings to one side, because for whatever reason seeing Aang cry feels way worse than anything he could've done. My words seem to have the opposite effect as the airbender cries harder.
"Please don't." He croaks. My eyebrows knit together at his plea.
"Don't what?" I echo back as the boy wipes his eyes with his sleeves.
"Don't be nice to me. I don't deserve it." I nearly recoil at the loathing in his voice. 'Shoot. Us being mad at him made his low self-esteem worse.' I don't know what possess me to reach forward and engulf him in a hug, but I do. A big, tight one.
"I forgive you." I whisper, making the boy stiffen in my arms.
"You can't forgive me if you don't know what happened." He breathes back as he starts to withdraw from me. I grab his arm, stopping him from turning away from me, but still his gaze is fixed to the ground, so I reach out a hand and tilt his chin up, encouraging him to look at me. His eyes skirt around before finally settling on mine.
"I don't need to know what happened. I...I know you're a good person and I'm sure there's a reason behind what you're doing. I trust you." I voice firmly, surprising even myself. His face falls.
"You shouldn't." He mutters
"Well, I do." I stress.
"Then why the sudden change of heart? You wouldn't even meet my eyes the other day." Aang whispers quietly. My lips part at the question and I find my hand dropping from his chin to hold my elbow instead.
"Because I was angry and felt betrayed. But...seeing you like this...it..." I pause, trying to search for the words. "...it hurts me just as much as you keeping secrets. I don't want to be mad at you, I just want to understand why." I say, stumbling over my words, but hoping that he understands what I mean. Aang turns his head to the side.
"I can't tell you." He mumbles, making my eyebrows twitch.
"But you can tell Sokka?" I fire back, wounded, thinking we were closer than that. His lips press firmly together until they pinch white.
"Please don't do this." The airbender begs. I open my mouth to release another retort, but when I see the desperation in his eyes, I close them.
"You really are an enigma." I say instead, making the airbender's lips twitch into a half smile.
"Guess it's part of the charm." He jokes, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes. I snort and nudge his arm.
"Come on, your bread is going to get soggy if you leave it any longer." I say with a pointed look at his plate and lead him to the seat opposite mine. We eat in silence for several moments, but there's something that has been burning in my mind for a while now. I fiddle with the edge of my plate before opening my mouth.
"So did you spend Christmas alone?" I ask quietly. Aang's grey irises flicker to me, before returning to his plate.
"I did, but I told you that I didn't mind." The airbender answers smoothly, but I shake my head.
"Well, I mind. I knew Sokka's accusation was ridiculous, but I went along with it anyway." I say, rebuking myself.
"What, the accusation of me not being an orphan?" I nod in confirmation at his query. "Yeah well, I wouldn't lie about that." The boy mutters, his hand tightening around the knife in his hand. I purse my lips.
"So, you'd lie about other things?" I question, hoping my tone doesn't come across as judgemental. The airbender's eyes snap back up towards me, gauging my expression, but I keep it perfectly neutral.
"I don't lie. Not really. I just...don't share what I know." Aang mumbles as he cuts a piece of his bread and pops it in his mouth.
"Why not?" I follow up with.
"Because it's safer that way." The child genius replies, his features darkening somewhat. I bite my lip, wondering if this has some connection to that gang Sokka overhead from the boy.
"Even if it can lead us to my mother's killer?" I say, my voice dropping to a shallow tone. Sympathy shines from those stormy eyes that I've come to find comfort in.
"Trust me, I wouldn't ever withhold information that could be used to find them, but the search has currently reached a dead end. If I know who's behind it all, I'd tell you, but I don't." Aang explains, trying to be vague without leaving me wanting too much information. I tilt my head to the side.
"Which brings me to the most important question, why do you know anything about them to start with?" I question, fully expecting the airbender to dodge it. His head lowers slightly as he sets his knife down.
"Remember I told you about the fire that took my parents?" He whispers quietly. I blink at the seemingly random question, but nod my head regardless. "It wasn't an accident." He continues after a beat of silence. My jaws slacken at the news.
"Oh. Oh spirits, that was them?!" I say in shock. The airbender nods slowly. I bite the inside of my cheek. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. That isn't fair! You didn't deserve that." I voice, my own anger mixing in with this latest knowledge. The child genius blinks twice at me before running a hand under his beanie to comb wisps of black hair, the tip of his blue arrow peeks through, until he tugs the hat back down.
"Sometimes I forget how compassionate you are." Aang voices finally. I give him a half smile.
"It's just who I am. My..." I break off abruptly as my mum's caring face flashes in my mind. "You should've met my Mum, she was more amazing than I could ever be." I murmur as a sigh escapes my lips. The boy's eyebrows furrow as he gazes at me.
"You don't need to be your mum." Aang expresses quietly. I glance away from him.
"How else can I carry her with me all the time? If I try to be like her, then...then I'll never forget." I confess; the truth being out in the open has my insides twisting. The airbender's features contorts into concern as he leans forward in his chair.
"You carry her with you, by being you. The daughter she loves and wouldn't change. You don't need to be more caring or more selfless or better or anything. You're perfect as you are." Aang utters wisely with reassuring eyes. I swallow at his steady gaze, his words hitting at the wall I've carefully built around myself since my mother died.
"But I've already started forgetting little things like the smell of her favourite meal or the title of her favourite book. Soon, I'll forget her scent, or about that little dimple that appears on her right side when she smiles or the way her eyebrow twitches when she's trying not to laugh. I don't want to forget." I whisper as fear grips me. Grey orbs glimpse to the table top before returning to me.
"You'll never forget the important things. The memories and the way she made you feel will never vanish. I...I still remember how gentle my mum always was with me or-r playing chess with my dad and...so many other memories. Those feelings stay with you for the rest of your life, even if you forget the minor details." Aang expresses, his voice catching when he refers to his dad. Water stings my eyes as the grief returns with a vengeance.
"I just want her back. I want her back so badly. Some days everything is fine, but then other days...it all crashes down again." I choke out. A tissue is pressed into my hand a moment later and when I look up in surprise, the airbender's eyes are glistening with unshed tears.
"Trust me, I know the feeling. It gets easier, I promise." Aang tries to reassure, but I see right through his facade.
"If that's true, then why does it still hurt you so much?" I ask softly. The child genius drops his head.
"Some losses are too hard to handle." He mutters. I chew my lip, running those words over in my mind, knowing that there's more to it than just that, but my brain stumbles onto a road block.
"Which losses are that?" I query quietly. There's a long pause and I start to think that he won't answer until he lifts his head up. His face haunted.
"The ones you see."
That night I lie wide awake on my bed as I stare up at the ceiling with Aang's words creating a storm inside my head.
The ones you see.
'He saw his house set alight. Maybe he even saw his parents die in the fire. But it feels like there's something more. Something I'm missing.' I roll onto my side, staring at my closed laptop.
I chew my lip for a moment, before pushing my covers back and grabbing the device from my desk before perching back on my bed. I open the laptop lid and go straight to google. I bite my lip as I type-in government guidelines on orphan children. There in bold it states that every orphan is put in an orphanage unless exceptional circumstances permit usage of the foster care system.
I roll my lip along my teeth as I type in Air Nomad orphanages. Immediately, there's a flurry of news articles dating back to two years ago of the orphanage that Sokka mentioned burning down. Curious, I click on the first one. Bold letters stare back at me:
Over 100 children dead in mysterious fire blaze.
My heart clenches at the heading and I scroll down to read through the rest of the article. Words like 'no known survivor' and 'unknown source of fire' stick out to me like a sore thumb.
I go back and click on every website on the first page. Some articles claim it was on purpose, but the police are covering it up. When I hit the last site, I'm surprised to find Dad's name staring back at me. A quote from him about the incident is attached at the bottom:
"We're doing everything we can to find out what happened here today that claimed so many innocent lives. If there is justice to be found, it will be. If not, it will go down as a very sad and unfortunate incident in our city. For now, a large memorial site has been erected in the town's graveyard."
I blink twice at those words as a memory is jerked to the forefront of my mind. 'That's what the huge gravestone I saw last time must be for.' I realise suddenly. A compulsion pulls at me and with set eyes I decide to visit the site.
Next Day - Evening:
The January wind blows harshly as I tread carefully through the abandoned graveyard. My eyes roaming for that large tombstone, but I didn't need to look for long as it stands out strikingly in the midst of the smaller headstones.
My eyes flicker to the Air Nomad insignia engraved at the top and it now makes sense why. My gaze drops further down to the long list of names and ages. The first seven names are older men, presumably the caretakers of the orphanage. Starting with Psang and ending with someone called Gyatso. The before the long list of children names begin. My heart sinks when I see some as young as 1-year olds on here.
As my blue orbs roam over the names, I suddenly stop cold when a familiar name catches my eye. Aang. My lips part as I stare at the writing. I quickly check the age to find the number '14' etched into the stone. My eyebrows furrow in thought. 'This happened two years ago which would make this boy the same age as the Aang I know.' My stomach twists. After a moment I bring myself to check the date of birth written on the far right.
It took a lot of pleading to get Aang to tell me his date of birth. And I was disappointed when I found out I had just missed it. As I gaze at the numbers on the stone, those same numbers stare back at me. 1st October 2005.
My mouth goes dry when sick realisation runs through me. 'The burnt down orphanage. Aang was there. But. Why is his name on here? Unless it's another Aang? But there can't be another Aang with the same date of birth.' I chew my lip vigorously as theories jump left and right in my mind. 'If this is true, then Aang saw two of his homes burnt down. How can that not haunt him?!'
My eyebrows furrow as I run through that line of thought again. 'Two fires. Both times Aang was there. That can't be a coincidence. He said the first one wasn't accidental, does that mean the orphanage also wasn't accidental?' I wonder as I fumble for my phone.
Hastily, I take a snapshot of the memorial, but when I look up I spot a familiar guy in a hat. The same guy I thought I had imagined. When he notices I've seen him, he tips his head slightly, before turning on his heels and walking away.
"Hey!" I call out, but he doesn't stop. If anything, his pace quickens. "Wait! I want to ask questions!" I shout as I start stumbling after him.
"Stop searching waterbender. It's not safe." His muttered words float back to me, but the distance between us widens, his strides far longer than mine.
"Do you know him?" I holler. He stops for a moment and turns to me briefly, dull amber eyes glance at me, matching the red hue of his clothing.
"More than you know." His voice is barely above a whisper as he walks away. I go to follow him, but he slips out of sight around a corner and when I reach it, I find no trace of the man. 'Who was that?' I ask myself as a slight shiver runs down my spine. 'Why was he watching me? How does he know Aang? And what did he mean it's not safe?'
I kick at the ground. 'So many questions and barely any answers.' I shake my head and begin the trek out of the graveyard. Instinctively, my eyes seek out my mother's grave and my feet slow to a halt when I spot it. I stare at it so hard that my eyes water and I have to glance away.
An empty hole that will never be filled sits heavily in my chest. An itch for a hug that I'll never experience again. Taken away from us because of some evil gang. My hand clenches into a fist. 'They took away my Mum. Then Aang's parents and I get the sinking feeling they were behind the catastrophe of the orphanage too. It's no wonder Aang is so closed up. I just wish he would talk to me about it.'
I grasp a few strands of my hair in frustration. 'How can I get answers? Aang isn't letting up. Maybe it's time I confronted Sokka. His evading behaviour is starting to wear thin.' Nodding my head, I feel satisfied at having some form of a plan. 'No more waiting on the side-lines. I will find out what's going on and I won't let this gang get away with what they've destroyed.'
A/N: Contrary to what most of you are probably thinking the next chapter will be on, it isn't going to be a chapter between Katara & Sokka XD It's another Aang POV instead. Well, from here on out updates will be really irregular, lectures are piling up and I'm getting behind. If I stick to weekly updates it will be because I need a break from the constant notes, but I don't think I'll be able to for the next couple of weeks at least.
Hopefully the wait won't be too long, but let's go back to monthly or fortnightly updates for now. I also need to get a move on with writing new chapters since I've got only got 4 pre-written chapters up, so yeah you guys might want to bear with me for a little bit. I know I've got a few PMs to answer, don't worry I haven't forgotten I just need to find some spare time, but I will reply as soon as I can! Until then, keep well everyone and thank you for being such amazing people!
4/10/21