Hiya, Fwends!

After much deliberation, I've decided (as you can see) to re-upload my Kenta Yamanaka story!

This was my first time ever writing fanfic and this story still to this day holds a special place in my heart.

Before we dive into Kenta's crazy world…

PLEASE READ – IMPORTANT INFO!

For starters, this story was, once again, my very FIRST attempt at writing a fanfiction story.

Be warned… The beginning chapters are BAD! I don't think my writing was all that bad… But every trope and cliché you can find to hate has some type of representation in just the first couple chapters.

I PROMISE that as the story progresses, I quickly move away from many of those tropes. For instance, in this chapter we get the lovely "Naruto gets beaten by a mob."

It's CRINGE, I know. But it never happens again. While writing this story the first time, I really took the advice (and even the flames) I got and used it to better shape my story.

If this is your first time reading this story, and you're unsure about this story, I BEG you to check out my other two stories for a more accurate representation of my writing ability and style.

Tides of Change is my main WIP. It's a Percy Jackson/Naruto crossover.

A Tree in a Forest is my new baby and it is a Gamer Fic.

Another thing you'll find is that when I first started this story, it wasn't supposed to be as "serious" as it ends up being. As you can tell by the title of this story, my original intent was to write a kind of borderline crack fic that was serious enough to not be full crack.

But as I wrote the story and began to flesh out the characters and plot, I really started to take this story seriously. It has lighthearted fun, fluff scenes, all that jazz. But overall the story went from lighthearted fun to super cereal once we get to the Chunin exam arc with periods in between for the fun stuff. (Anyone miss Drunk Ino and Drunk Lee's epic shenanigans?!)

Saying that, those of you who followed the story originally you'll likely remember that I had just started the process of REWRITING this story!

That is still the end goal.

This story will eventually be re-written.

The beginning of Kenta's life will be expanded, rather than the rushed job I did the first time.

There will be some changes to the events that happened in the beginning, which will later on make certain scenes that happen much later in the story make a lot more sense than they did the first time around.

I also have plans to change a few things – The BIGGEST change is that Kenta in the rewrite will not have his signature Bloodline ability!

That shits too OP.

The rewrite will focus a lot more on Clan Techniques and Kenta's favorite pastime - Fucking with his enemies and being a legit scary mofo with his ability to "Reverse-Talk-No-Jutsu" his enemies to death. (For those that are new to this story, you'll understand during Kenta's preliminary match what I'm talking about).

I also want your guys' opinions on Kenta's pairing.

Do we keep Fu-Bae? Or do we match him up with someone new? My thought is that he and Fu would crush on each other, but eventually realize that they're better off as friends.

I'm considering Fu for Part 1, then maybe… Tenten for endgame? Give her some much needed love.

What are your thoughts?

The last and final big change coming to the rewrite… I'll be re-writing the entire story in THIRD PERSON instead of the Ultra Cringe First-Person the story is written in now!

Of course, this is all happening much later down the road. I really need to get working on my PJ/Naruto story. Once that story is complete, then I will be able to focus more of my attention on the rewrite of this story.

Until then, we'll be taking a trip down memory lane for a while and reliving the original experience, and HOPEFULLY bringing in a bunch of new fans that will be getting hyped for the rewrite once we get to the part of the story where I stopped at last time!

I hope you guys enjoy this story.

AND REMEMBER! The beginning sucks! Give it a chance to get a bit better before you totally write it off!

OH LAST THING (For new fans only!) – Kenta is STRAIGHT! So for all you yaoi haters, don't fear. Kenta is just a bit of a sociopath and really enjoys messing with people.

He also has no shame.

SO! He will randomly flirt with girls and guys alike. His favorite target to fluster is Sasuke.

He will eventually build his "Man-Crush List" which is really just his board with strong shinobi he admires.

So to sum it up… There WILL be shameless flirting with guys for Kenta… but it's all in good fun. He only likes women.

Okay! Here we go! Terrible chapter 1 go!

Chapter 1: Enter, Kenta!

I don't know what it is about me. I'm five years old, but I don't feel like a normal five year old child. Kids annoy me. I dread going to the park for "play dates." My mother just says I'm mature for my age, but even so she doesn't realize the absolute disgust I feel when surrounded by my peers. They're loud, annoying, stupid, and gross. Kids are an abomination, and I've vowed to myself I will never have them when I'm older. Or, if I do, I'll hire a nanny to take care of them until they're at the age where they're tolerable. Who knows?

Another thing I've found odd is that I'm constantly experiencing these episodes of déjà vu. I've read that it's a normal occurrence for people; but I'm starting to think that the amount of times I've experienced it is anything but normal. During my many trips to the library, after fighting tooth and nail with my"mother" to NOT subjugate me to the tortures of "playing," nothing I've read can explain the feelings I've gotten since my earliest memories.

One author described it as wish fulfilment or fantasy. Where your brain simply creates this fantasy and makes your subconscious believe that you've already experienced the event. That's one theory out the door. How could that author explain the nagging feeling I got two years ago? The feeling that prompted me out of bed at two in the morning and into the streets of my village?

A three year old child, with no sense of direction in the large village they lived in, following instincts to a random part of the village. After a few moments, a man appeared running incredibly fast. He was wearing a face mask and had a large sack slung over his back. I think my appearance startled him because he stopped and we simply stared at one another.

Next thing I knew, a man with long, flowing brown hair and pale, pupil-less eyes was behind the man and knocking him out. Apparently, I had just averted the kidnapping of one of the village's most noble clan's heir. Huh, who would have guessed it?

The whole event though didn't frighten me. I somehow knew this was going to happen, and a gut feeling told me if I didn't try and at least do something, it could have ended horribly. Explain that one mister "wish fulfillment or fantasy" theorist.

Another theory I read was that it was a simple case of mismatching in the brain, causing the brain to mistake the present and the past. The next occurrence happened October 10th, seven months after what the village now referred to as the "Hyuga Incident."

My mother, father and I were walking around the market district. It was the annual Kyuubi festival where the entire village celebrates the defeat of the demonic nine-tailed fox by the fourth Hokage. A man regarded as a hero and the strongest shinobi of his time; and my personal hero. We were walking around, enjoying the food and festivities when I stopped dead in my tracks. This feeling. I've felt it before. My mother turned around, confusion evident on her face.

"Kenta? Sweetie? Is everything ok?"

I turned to her, wondering how to word this exactly. "Well, mother… I don't know why, but we need to go this way" I said, pointing west towards the Hokage mountains. I just knew if we started walking we'd find something that we needed to find.

"But sweetie, the festival is in the market district. That way leads to the red light district. And that is no place for a child your age" My mother said, nose crinkling in disgust thinking about her precious baby boy being in such an uncouth part of town.

I looked at her, eyes pleading, trying to convey my desperate desire to fulfill this strange feeling I was having. I knew that if I wasn't there this time (Wait this time? Where did that thought come from?) Something terrible would happen.

"Please, mother! I can't explain it, but do you remember what I told you about why I was wandering around during the Hyuga Incident? I'm having that feeling again. We need to go, please!" I tried keeping my voice as reasonable and calm as I could, but the growing feeling of anxiety was threatening to overwhelm my usual stoic nature.

Mother and Father shared a glance, seemingly having a conversation with just their facial expressions. Finally, what seemed like an eternity later father finally said, "Alright, Kenta. We'll walk a few blocks that way, but if we don't see anything we're turning around. Is that agreeable?"

I nodded my head enthusiastically. That was the one thing I loved about my parents. They didn't treat me like the four year old child I was. They were still my parents, but they realized that I was much more intelligent than what a normal four year old was. That didn't stop them trying to push me to have, what they called, a "normal childhood," but I appreciated that they didn't treat me like I was baby.

We set off walking down the street away from the festival. It was taking all my patience not to break out into a full on sprint. Running as fast as my short legs would carry me. But I withheld. Mother and Father would quickly shut down my little adventure if I rushed ahead of them. We were coming up on the 'Rusty Kunai,' a bar known to serve cheap sake and cheap girls.

'Wait. How do I know this?! I've never been to this part of town! Why do I know this?!'

Just then we heard angry shouting and yelling. Mother and Father were immediately about to grab me and high tail it out of there, but my instincts took over and I was sprinting towards the disturbance.

"DEMON! It's all your fault! You should just die already."

"Go to hell, DEMON!"

"No one wants you! Just crawl in a hole and die already, demon!"

Rounding the corner, my heart stopped. Around ten men were all huddled around… something. Screaming at it, yelling curses and kicking it. I soon realized that something, was a someone, and they looked like they were my age. What. The. HELL?!

"Hey! What is wrong with you? Why are you beating up a child like that? Do you have no shame?" I yelled, throwing the manners and decorum my mother had drilled into me out the door. The men all turned to me, wide-eyed at first, but the anger and hatred quickly replaced their shock.

"That ain't no kid, kid. That's a demon pretending to be human. We're simply finishing what the fourth started and eradicating demons from this world" a fat, pig-faced man said.

"Yeah! Don't worry about it, kid. Go back to your mommy and daddy and leave the demon hunting to us grown-ups," a rat faced man sneered.

I was shaking. Not in fear, but in rage. The kid was looking at me now. Eyes glazed over, bruises covering every inch of him that was visible. It was like looking at a living corpse. I could tell he was alive, but his eyes… His blue eyes were dead; barely seeing anything. He looked resigned to his fate. His tears were already dried.

"Why you disgusting piece of-"

"What is going on here?" A cold voice drawled behind me. I turned around and almost gasped. My father - My kind, caring, loving, always a smile on his face father, looked like the Shinigami in human form. Gone was the warmth that usually radiated from his normal teal eyes. They were piercing - cold. I shivered seeing that look on my father's face. I sincerely hope I never saw that look directed at me.

"Ahhh-ah. Mister Yamanaka. We were, uh, just, uh…" Pig face finished lamely.

"Demon hunting is what I heard. Is this true?" Father asked, even colder than before.

This seemed to give the mini-mob some of their confidence back. "Yeah! We caught the brat trying to steal some bread so we thought we'd finish The Fourth's work!" Rat face managed to squeak out, in a poor façade at confidence.

"I see…"

What happened next, I will never forget in my life. Father moved. One minute he was standing there, the picture perfect image of a noble out with his family, the next his arms were splayed wide, and instantly all ten men were on the ground screaming in agony. Needles sticking out of their necks, arms, legs, everywhere.

"I intentionally missed any and all vital points on your bodies. However, I aimed at the places that have the most nerve clusters. To pay back the pain you caused the young Uzumaki boy tonight. You have ten seconds to be gone from my sight, or my next throws will not miss the vitals." Father said all this in a voice that would make even the Hokage sweat. Holy crap I never knew Father could be so, so… scary! I knew both my father and mother were shinobi, but I'd never actually seen it yet.

This was a wakeup call for me. Reminding me that, while yes, Mother and Father were my parents, they were also both Jonin of Konoha. They've killed, maimed, and tortured people. They've spilt blood and guts. They… They were SO FREAKING COOL!

Pig face, Rat face and the rest of the drunken louts immediately began whimpering and crawling away. Within thirty seconds, they were nowhere to be seen. Father was too lenient, he did say ten seconds. Oh well, more important things to deal with right now. I rushed over to the boy's side, hesitating to touch him. "Hey. Hey! Can you hear me? Are you okay? MOTHER, HELP!"

I looked over at my parents and they were eyeing the boy with apprehension, and was that, fear? 'Must be my imagination, but I need their help!'

"Mother! Father! He needs a doctor right now!" I said, not quite screaming, but it was close.

Whatever trance my parents were in, they were snapped out of by my voice. Immediately they both went into parent and shinobi mode. Mother rushed to the boy's side and immediately her hands ignited in a pale, warm, green color. "This… This is way past what I'm capable of. We need to get the boy to the hospital as fast as we can."

Father nodded once, and as carefully as he could picked the small child up. Mother bent down and instructed me to climb onto her back and hold on tight. I did as I was told and then the world blurred. We were immediately on the rooftops of Konoha. The city passing by in steaks of light and color.

Despite the severity of the situation, I couldn't help but let out a whoop of glee and laugh with childish delight. It was amazing how fast Mother and Father could move! Before I knew it we were back to walking and were in front of the hospital. I shimmied my way down from Mother's back and walked to the boy's side. In the light he looked even worse. His eyes… they will haunt me to my dying day. That much I knew.

"Dear, as fast as you can get a report to the Hokage. Tell him what happened and that we will wait with the boy until he or someone he trusts arrives." Father spoke quietly and quickly to Mother. With a nod, and a quick kiss on my forehead, Mother was gone.

Father marched up to front desk and cleared his throat. "This boy needs immediate medical attention."

The nurse looked up from her clip board, took a look at who father was holding, and her lips pulled back in a sneer. "Sorry, we don't treat his kind here. This hospital is for humans only!" She said with more venom in her voice than anyone I'd ever heard in my short life.

If looks could kill, this cruel woman would be a puddle on the floor. "Do you know who I am?" Father asked, that awful ice in his voice back.

She looked my Father up and down, shrugged, and said "A Yamanaka, so what? You aren't my boss and you can't order me around. I'm not a shinobi" pug face said with a smug expression on her face.

That got a snort out of me. I may have been young, and not well versed in clan politics, but I knew that my father wasn't just A Yamanaka, he was one of The Yamanaka. His father, my grandfather, was the previous clan head's brother and now one of the three great elders for our clan. My father's cousin was Inoichi Yamanka, the current clan head. My father was the current head of the barrier detection squad and a Jonin of Konohagakure. Yeah, this woman was toast.

My father aptly informed her of all those things. With each title you could see the blood drain from her face, little by little, until she was a pleasant shade of 'I just messed up royally.'

"Now that all the formalities are taken care of, you will get this boy checked in and get treatment started right away. You will do it NOW! My wife went to report to the Hokage, and if I'm correct, which I usually am, he will be here personally within minutes. If this boy isn't in the back being treated by the time the Sandaime gets here, I can guarantee you that you will not be breathing this time tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?"

I almost, almost felt bad for pug face. By the end of my father's rant she was shaking like a leaf. She had to hang up and dial the phone three times before she got the right number. But, after her attitude, my vindictive side was jumping for joy inside my head. 'Serves her right. I STILL don't understand how all these people can be so cruel to a child! I mean look at him, he's adorable!'

At some point the shock and exhaustion had caught up to the boy and he had finally passed out. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. If he had a head injury, sleeping might be the last thing he should be doing. Too late now, I can only keep my hopes up that he will wake up after treatment. Finally, three nurses came out with a stretcher and took the boy back.

Father was right and just minutes after the boy had been taken back, Mother walked in next to the Hokage. I will never forget that day. Righteous fury was pouring off the Hokage in waves. Hiruzen Sarutobi may have gotten old, but after seeing the fires blazing in his eyes as he walked in next to Mother was something to behold. Minato Namikaze might be my personal hero, but Hiruzen Sarutobi was a very, very close second.

The Hokage marched up to Father and had him explain what happened. Judging by the looks the two were shooting the front desk receptionist, she knew she may not live to see tomorrow. After a few minutes the Hokage disappeared and Father and Mother came and took me home. I never did see that boy again after that date. I asked Mother about him and she said that he ended up making a full recovery and that the Hokage took precautions so that something like that wouldn't happen again. That pleased me, and I hoped one day I'd meet that boy again. Maybe we'll be in the academy together.

Of course, the next day I had to explain to not only Father and Mother, but the Hokage and Uncle Inoichi what led me to lead my parents to Naruto (who the Hokage informed me was his name) and his attackers. I told them the same thing. I didn't know. Just a feeling that was threatening to overwhelm me that I had to act on. That seemed to satisfy them. I mean, how can you be suspicious of a 4 year old?

I'm adorable.

Or that's what I've been told at least.

Shaking myself out of the memory, I scratched off 'mismatching of the brain' off my probable theory list. Whoever that author was, was an idiot. I scoffed at the absurdity of such a notion. However the final theory on my list was possibly the most outlandish.

"Past Life Experience" was next on the list. Reincarnation. How STUPID. Didn't even bother to think that one through. Only naïve idiots believed in reincarnation.

All these theories sucked. None came close to what I think it actually is. For those unfamiliar with my clan, we use a special branch of clan jutsu that affect the mind; conscious and sub-conscious both. We can enter an opponent's mind and take over, pull out all their dirty secrets and skeletons, and even completely break them.

Our clan is extremely underestimated compared to the likes of the big hitters like the Hyuga or Uchiha. But with our intimate knowledge of the mind and the ability to control it, people should fear us.

What I believe is happening is that over the generations of our clan using the techniques to enter the minds of our opponents, there might be some type of mutation in my genetic code. These feelings of Déjà vu are too specific and important to be coincidence. I think that I may have developed some type of intuition for misfortune or even some type of short term premonition. However I could be reaching for straws here. Anything makes more sense than reincarnation. I giggled softly once again at such a silly notion.

I closed my notes, stood up and stretched. Grinning slightly and sighing with content at the satisfying popping of my joints and back.

"Kenta?" A soft voice I recognized as my Mother's called out. "Sweetie you ready to go? Your father should be home soon and he wants to get started on your training."

"Coming" I called back quietly. I was very excited that my parents decided to train me sooner than some of the other clan children. They think with my advanced intelligence it'll be productive. Keep my brain stimulated and keep me from getting too bored. Most of the clan kids start between six and eight. I'm starting a year early. Take that, Ino! Looks like I'll be winning our little contest of becoming the strongest Yamanaka in Clan history!

I smiled at my mother. "I just want to check out these books real quick, Mother, and then I'll be ready." She nodded once at me and then started walking towards the exit where I knew I'd find her. I smiled to myself once again.

'My clan my not be as strong as the Hyuga, or as smart as the Nara, but I'm going to prove to everyone you do NOT underestimate the Yamanaka.' With that thought in my head and a smile for the librarian, I left to join my mother to begin my training as a shinobi of Konoha.

This is my story. The story of how my friends and I not only saved the world, but helped shape it.

My name is Kenta Yamanaka, and this definitely isn't a reincarnation story.