Hello again everyone. Finally, the next episode has arrived. And I can confirm one thing. This episode was balls-to-the-wall ultimate! And holy shit, who knew Loona could kill! That might as well be the highlight of the episode for me. And oh my god...they found a way to make Stolas scary...note to self, never get on his bad side...ever. So anyhow, I had hoped this would be the Lust Ring episode, where Draiman would make his debut as the next recruit for the Immediate Murder Professionals. But as I watched the episode, I found a way to incorporate his debut. So tell me, disturbed ones...are you down with the sickness?
Chapter 9: Truth Seekers
Momo, back at home, was flipping through channels, having just went through another assassination. He caught a glimpse of a newstory involving a demon who had been starting fights in bars and left corpses in his wake. There were two imps that accompanied him. Only these weren't ordinary imps. They had a cybernetic look to them. They looked more like an automaton than actual imps.
The oni watched the footage of a shootout at the bar. The massacre or what of it happened when the shootout was taking place, like always in Hell. It was then that the demon burst through the entrance, whipped out a humongous sword, a zweihander maybe, and was making minced meat out of the demons. And the cyber imps tagging along were shooting them down on top of that. Granted, the sinners that were in the crossfire would be fine as they can come back no worse for wear unless it was holy, not that they couldn't feel pain, but the same couldn't be said about the imps and hellhounds that were caught too.
The demon Momo was looking at was mechanical and stony in appearance. He wore what looked like a hoodie, tunic, and trenchcoat rolled into one. His body quoted as chromium plated, boiling metal, which made the yakuza roll his eyes seeing as they were just quoting Judas Priest. Not that they were wrong though. The hoodie obscured his head, leaving only red optics and a sort of grin on his face. It was vicious, ripping through anything that sent fear up sinners. It seems next to a deer-like demon who overpowered overlords, now this sinner was something they would fear too. Only it was the kind where if they got on his bad side, they'd end up like the corpses seen in the bar during the shoot out. And for a brief moment, Momo could have sword he saw metallic wings. Perhaps they were used as an intimidation display.
Sinners and especially 666 News started to call him Draiman the Painkiller. The oni thought the name was badass.
Name sounds cool, Momo thought.
"Did you see all that on the news?" Momo asked. He was on the phone with Blitzo.
"Yeah. Fuck shit, wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley," Blitzo shuddered.
Momo pondered for a moment. With the way he murdered those shooters, he wondered if he'd make an excellent part of the team. Perhaps as I.M.P's own demolitionist. Fucking hell, he wondered what weapons he had. The same goes for the automaton imps that were with him.
Pride City...
At a hideaway, a figure, who's room was surrounded by drawings of heavy metal album characters, was checking out if any good shows were on. He drank a can of beer. So far, nothing seemed to be on at the moment. It was then he caught sight of the group of assassins he'd been hearing about. They seem to be a group of imps who run an assassination service. Curious, he watched the commercial.
Afterwards, the figure was left in thought for a minute. It was interrupted when a cyber imp came in. The cyber imp in question was dressed in a yellow tuxedo, gangly and short in appearance. He had a helmet for a head which his visor were his eyes and his mouth was metallic as well. "Sorry to disturb. Is there a problem, Draiman?" asked the cyber imp.
The cyber imp spoke in a synth voice that was reminiscent of TTS from days of old, notably what mortals would call Microsoft Mike. The figure called Draiman turned to the imp.
"I think I found something worth than just making mince meat out of sinners. These guys there...they are assassins. Perhaps if we get hired, perhaps we can convince them for our asshole that needs to die soon enough. So much better than when that Ozzie asshole made a fool of us," Draiman said, "Wouldn't you agree, Thom?"
"Assassination jobs? That sounds like a good idea," Thom agreed.
Just then another cyber imp burst in. He too was gangly in appearance but he wore a blue dress and tie and his head was a full on visor. "An assassination job?! Holy shit! Gimme gimme gimme gimme!" he shouted. The second one was Mau5. Mau5 too spoke with a synth voice. This time Microsoft Sam.
"Hold your horses, Mau5. We need to see if we're worthy to be assassins for...um? What's it called again?" Thom asked
"The company is called I.M.P or the Immediate Murder Professionals...I'm surprised on how an imp could run a business by himself," Draiman wondered.
With this in mind, Draiman, Thom, and Mau5 hopped onto his motorcycle, which looked monstrous in appearance and had sawblades for wheels, and strove off. They were gonna prove themselves worthy of I.M.P's graces.
Meanwhile...
In a dark room were five monitors. The first one showed Blitzo and Moxxie outside of Martha's house where Moxxie pushed Blitzo's sniper rifle, causing him to miss his shot. Another showed Millie coming onto shore after having just killed the kaiju. The third monitor showed Momo and Oroko's battle before battling one of the animatronics. The fourth one showed Moxxie and Millie making out as they were swinging on a rope, battling the two cherubs. And finally the fifth revealed a shot of horses which zoomed past them onto Blitzo, who had a goofy look on his face.
"Right there. This was the first sighting," someone informed, pointing at the screen.
"They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people, but why?" another asked.
The two were known only as Agents One and Two. They were a part of an organization that investigates supernatural activity. Though it's divisive if anyone believes a word from them. They were trained in dealing with supernatural threats, both with firearms and the usage of Edo era weapons from Japan. This organization is known as D.H.O.R.K.S.
"They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next," Agent One concluded.
Just then, a clattering noise is heard outside, followed by a cat yowling. The two agents glance over a hole in the wall covered in wooden planks and spotted Blitzo outside on trash bags and dumpsters looking around. "Ah well, that's convenient," Agent Two said. Both agents smiled. If they were gonna get answers, the imp was just the right one to interrogate.
"Shh! Remember, we can't be seen," Blitzo whispered, before slamming the dumpster lid loudly and falling into a pile of garbage. I.M.P had just successfully completed a contract kill and were making their escape. Moxxie, Millie, and Momo were already outside. Momo was dressed different this time around. A combination of his gear from what he wore in the Wrath Ring and a mix of a samurai armor and trenchcoat. He also wore the same torn jeans.
"Pardon my word, sir. But you're currently being the loudest," Moxxie pointed out.
"I said shush your dick sucking lips, Moxxie," Blitzo ordered, ignoring Moxxie's comment.
Moxxie stepped away from his boss as the portal back to Hell and back to the office was opened. Just as Moxxie was about to get into the portal, Blitzo suddenly leapt at Moxxie towards the ground as a net zoomed by. "Get down!" Blitzo shouted.
Momo used his scimitars to slice the net apart. Agent One was seen reloading his weapon. Blitzo looked behind him to see Agent Two jump down from a rope in front of the portal. Momo shoved out of the way of the agent and leaped back into the portal. "Doite kudasai!" he shouted
"Loona! Close it!" Blitzo ordered. The portal began closing.
"Wait! No!" Millie protested.
As the portal closed, enraged, Moxxie began fighting the two agents as Blitzo hid behind a trash can, dodging a net and a tranq dart. Just as he was about to fire a shot, a tranq needle hit him and he fell to the ground.
"Moxxie!" Blitzo cried. Thinking quickly, he grabbed Moxxie and made a run for it. He hit Agent Two aside as he kept running. The two agents kept coming like a duo of wolves after their prey.
"I smell...colors..." Moxxie spoke in a slurr.
Unfortunately, the chase came to an end as Blitzo was at a dead end and the D.H.O.R.K.S. agents cornering the imps. "Back off, you tuxedo wearing fucks!" Blitzo warned. Both the agents and Blitzo raised their weapons. Before Blitzo could do anything, Agent Two pressed a button on her gun and both Blitzo and Moxxie were shocked. The needle seemed to also function as a taser as well, shocking Blitzo when he held onto the barely conscious imp.
"I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now," Agent One bragged, "That was pretty badass."
"Super badass," Agent Two agreed. Soon enough, Blitzo lost consciousness.
Back in Hell, Millie was pounding at the wall. She had a look of a pained wild animal on her face as tears streamed from her eyes, screeching all the while. She stopped and then fell to her knees, her fingers scratching at the wall.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Millie wailed, both her head and hands on the ground. She began sobbing in both sorrow and frustration. Momo swore too.
"Who the fuck were those guys? They appeared out of nowhere," Momo wondered, "Almost as if they badly wanted whatever Blitzo and Moxxie had."
"You uh... You okay there?" Loona asked, concerned.
Millie snapped and looked up at the hellhound, startling her. Now that was something Loona had never done before. Especially when Millie was upset.
"What're you two doing sittin' there?" Millie demanded, "The boys are in trouble, open it again."
"Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears that means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-" Loona didn't get a chance to finish as Millie, her eyes fiery, grabbed Loona by the collar, and pulled her toward her face.
"OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!" Millie hollered.
"I think you should do what she says, Loona. You don't want to mess with an angry wife," Momo suggested, before he too had an angry face as it turned red, "Besides, I want to tear the two assholes apart too!"
Loona began zipping a bag that had emergency supplies and Millie twirled a giant double axe with an M in the I.M.P logo. Loona then transformed into her human form, Momo doing the same. Just as they were about to make their move, the door to the office was flung open.
"What the fuck?! Not now!" Millie hollered. Momo got ready for what was coming. Suddenly, a tall demon came forward. The movement made an eerie metal screeching sound. Momo took a good look. It was the demon that he saw on the news. And to further confirm it, the two cyber imps, Thom and Mau5, entered with him. The oni knew right away who they were. It was Draiman the Painkiller.
"Oh. Hi!" Mau5 greeted.
The room got quiet for a minute.
"Shit. Sorry about that. Was this a bad time?" Thom asked.
"You couldn't have come at an even bad time right now," Loona groaned.
"What? Why? I came looking for a job here with I.M.P. Hey wait, where's the other guy?" Draiman demanded.
Momo explained the situation.
"So they got captured? No way in the nine fucking circles am I waiting til he's back!" Draiman shouted.
"Hey, you're not employed yet! You can't just come with us!" Loona reprimanded.
"What the fuck did you just say to us, biotch?" Mau5 demanded, taking out an uzi. Loona growled.
"Everyone stop!" Momo, Millie, Thom, and Draiman shouted.
"Listen, we're wasting time! Blitzo and Moxxie are in danger and we need to get going, now! First of all, we would like to see what you're capable of, you three. So, why don't you come along for the ride and show us what you got. Then maybe Blitzo might consider you assassination worthy. How does that sound?" Loona suggested.
"Ooh, I get to wreck shit! Let us at em!" Draiman got exicted.
Loona opened the portal again and Millie is the first to enter. Loona, Momo, Thom, Mau5, and Draiman following suit afterwards. Upon seeing the two imps not there, Millie's face softened to sadness. "They aren't here..." Millie cried. She stopped once Loona lifted her up to bend down and sniffed to track where Blitzo and Moxxie may have went.
"It smells like they went this way," Loona informed. "Come on, let's find the dumbass twins."
With this said, Millie grinned as Loona picked up the axe and started running.
"Fuck yeah! Time to wreck some motherfucking shit up!" Mau5 cheered.
Momo, Thom, Mau5, and Draiman followed them. They were gonna get the imps back.
Meanwhile...
Moxxie stirred and began to wake up. He looked around and he found himself and Blitzo tied up and their tails tied to a ball and chain. Moxxie panicked and began struggling. Agent Two stepped forward and shined a light close to Moxxie's face.
"Finally awake, huh? Little fella?" the agent asked. "Your partner has been for a while now."
"Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down alright, I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also I've been strapped nipple first with a car battery, so I-," Blitzo was interrupted when Agent One shined the light on Blitzo next.
"Okay," Blitzo said.
"Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?" Agent One demanded. The agents took turns passing the light and shining the light on the imps' faces. They each asked their own questions.
"How did you get to our world from the afterlife?"
"Why are youse killing humans?"
"When did you show up here?"
"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we into this. I mean everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right. I want something iced, bitch. Mox?" Blitzo responded. He turned his head to Moxxie.
Moxxie began to make a complicated coffee order.
"I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-"
Moxxie was saying his order that even the agents were dumbfounded at what Moxxie was saying. Agent One couldn't stand it anymore. "Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!" Agent One thundered.
"Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats," Blitzo congratulated
"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts," Agent Two threatened, getting into Moxxie's face.
"When you say "tortured" you mean physical or psychological?" Moxxie quizzed, "Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain and you have no way of knowing what was true."
"Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with," Blitzo chimed in.
"What do you mean by that?" Agent One questioned, pointing at the imp.
"Oh, you're stupid, huh? I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy," Blitzo taunted. Moxxie squirmed in his seat. He tried to hold back his laugh, but it escaped his lips.
"Good one sir, Daddy likey-" Moxxie tried to say between his fits of laughter, but Agent Two cut in.
"You better stop laughin' at us," she shouted.
Agent One grabbed Blitzo's collar and got into his face, "Yeah! You're the one's at our mercy!" he screamed in their face.
"It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry," Moxxie apologized, "I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here, for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are."
"What are you?" Agent Two asked.
"I'm a Virgo," Moxxie said. Blitzo bursted out laughing.
Agent One clapped and went to Moxxie's side, "Oh, a smart guy eh?"
"One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!" Agent Two warned.
"Ohh, getting kinky," Blitzo said. The agents upon hearing that recoiled both in shock and horror.
"WHAT?! We ain't playing any of your vile demon games!" Agent One screamed.
"I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos," Blitzo teased.
"PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir," Moxxie said sarcastically.
"Why not? I know the shit you're into-" Blitzo continued, to the point where Moxxie had an embarrassed look on his face. Agent One cut in.
"STAAHP! We are NOT getting kinky wit youse!" Agent One hollered, pointing at the imps.
"Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!" Agent Two suggested, pulling Agent One back.
"Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, bitch?" Blitzo said, a smug look on his face, as he raised his eyebrow.
"Well, that entirely depends: Who you going to call, hmm?" Agent One taunted.
"Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!" Blitzo teased.
"Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD!" Agent Two shouted angrily. Agent One was seen crying on his right arm.
Outside of the D.H.O.R.K.S building, two guards armed with naginatas were outside the entrance. Millie, Loona, Momo, Thom, Mau5, and Draiman were hiding at the side of the building. Mau5 did a double look at the building name and stifled his laugh.
"D.H.O.R.K.S.? The fuck kind of name is that?" Draiman spat.
Momo couldn't help but facepalm.
"This where they ended up?" Millie asked.
"I think so," Loona confirmed, "Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?"
Millie noticed a vent, "Lift me up to that vent," she suggested, pointing at a vent above them. Loona raised her hand and Millie climbed up, opened the vent, and crawled into the building. She unlocked the side door from the inside.
"You know, Draiman could've broke the door down. But thanks for the teamwork," Thom approved.
"Oh fuck yes! Time to pwn some noobs!" Mau5 cheered. Both cyber imps took out uzis and the group snuck in through the halls, looking for Moxxie and Blitzo. On surveillance cameras, a guard spat out coffee and pressed a red button, sounding the alarm to alert the guards of the demons.
Loona grinded to a halt as a bunch of agents came out of nowhere, holding several Japanese weapons. This made Momo's eyes glimmer with stars, "Subarashīdesu!"
"Here comes the Mau5. With his friend whos a bouse. Better say bye bye. Cuz you're all gonna die. ROFL." Mau5 rapped.
An agent holding a naginata ran towards Loona and Millie and swung his spear at them. They ducked and the hellhound jumped up, swinging the axe and slicing his leg clean off. Millie shot the agent's head twice. Loona threw the axe at an agent's head and Millie climbed up the body and retrieved it, slicing an agent in half. Momo had a sadistic grin on his green face and used his scimitars to swing, impale, and then tear apart several agents. Thom and Mau5 used uzis to gun down the agents whilst Draiman swung his giant sword and cleaved several agents in half.
Loona ran into an agent with nunchucks and delivered a kick, but he dodged it. The hellhound rolled and jumped to avoid him. An agent with a kusarigama swings at her, but she ducks and the agent ended up decapitating the other agent. The agent had a surprised look on his face before his neck was snapped by Millie. Loona grabbed Millie and she grabbed her axe. Momo, the two cyber imps, and Draiman followed them.
The doors opened revealing more agents, who reveal several shurikens and threw them at the girls. They dodged and they landed on Draiman, who didn't even seem to feel a thing as they struck. The agents didn't know of how he was covered in chromium metal.
"Throw me!" Millie ordered.
Loona threw Millie into the group as the door closes behind her. Screaming and splattering could be heard as the door lifts to show the imp woman surrounded by blood splatters and corpses.
"Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady," Loona complimented.
"I'm like 5 years older than you," Millie scolded.
As they walked, Momo had a plan.
"Alright, listen up! Agents already know we're here. And they'll most likely come after the both of you. You two go find Moxxie and the boss. Me, Draiman, and these two imps here will keep ground and provide attention for them," Momo strategized.
"Does this involve stealth? I hate that stuff. I'd rather go in guns blazing," Draiman griped.
Momo shook his head and sighed at the comment, "Then I do the sneaking. You three smash."
"That's more like it," Draiman grinned.
"Will do, Momo," Loona agreed.
"If you find anything of their whereabouts, contact any of us and we'll be coming," Momo suggested. He was handing out his phone number to Draiman and the cyber imps. They agreed to contact each other to find out where Blitzo and Moxxie could be held up in and went separate ways.
Momo sees a vent in the wall and unlatched it. He then climbed into an air duct and crawled through. After a few minutes, he finds an armory through the vent. Agents were patrolling the place with their weapons. There were even robot suits that were based off the Edo period samurai. This could be a problem. Guess I gotta smash the armory, Momo thought. Momo began to set his plan into motion. The mech suits could pose a serious problem for both Millie and Loona if deployed. So Momo had to smash them while they were stationed.
Momo first had steam come out of his mouth which began to leak from the vent. Soon it began to smog the entire area. Agents took notice and prepared themselves. The time to strike was now. The oni unlatched the vent and it struck an agent in the face. He then threw a kunai which struck a nearby stereo as a song began to play.
(Riding on the Wind - Judas Priest)
Momo then leaped down and decapitated one of the agents. The agents in the area were caught by surprise as Momo revealed his demon form. "Kite! Zehi,-te ni iretekudasai!" he shouted boldly in Japanese, his mask green, his hands holding his scimitars. The challenge was issued. Agents were armed to the teeth wiki katanas, naginatas, nunchucks, bladed tonfas, steel fans, kusarigamas, onos, bohiyas, tanegashimas, and tekko-kagis. Momo gushed at this as he began his battle.
The agents charged and crossed blades. Momo clashed blades with them. He sliced and diced them with his scimitars, drawing out organs and blood, splattering them to the floor. At one point he deflected a shuriken by catching it in his teeth and then steaming it hot. He then spit it back at the throwers, which due to it being a thousand degrees, cut through the agents like paper.
The yakuza sped by and decapitated more agents. He unsheathed his scimitars and brought out his katana. He sliced a kunai in half, which instead clocked both agents in the head. Momo was into it he began singing the lyrics and headbanging, "Well I'm ridin', ridin' on the wind! Yes I'm ridin', ridin' on the wind!" he sang as he used his bow and arrows to shoot down several agents. He fought a nunchuck guy as he slashed at him, but he dodged and wrapped his katana around it. Momo then brought it close and then wrestled him down where he used his katana to decapitate the agent.
He then looked around at the corpses around him before being punched aside. It didn't hurt much, but Momo looked up to see two agents in the samurai mech suits, already wielding katanas. Momo smirked. Now this was getting interesting. The yakuza clashed blades with the agents and cut one of them, but the armor protected them. He was cut by one of them. Thankfully since he was a sinner, he couldn't die by normal means unlike how it could if anyone were alive. Momo then put his katana in his mouth, heated it, scraped it with his teeth and then sliced a mech arm off. He then decapitated the head and then sliced the agent in half.
Momo turned to the last agent and bowed before raising his katana as if preparing for a challenge. The agent then steadied himself. Both swordman ran at each other as the chorus of the song sang one last time. Both of them slashed. After the song ended, the agent's head rolled to the ground and the body collapsed. Momo bowed in respect to his fallen foe.
"Hah! You missed me-" one agent didn't get a chance to finish as he was met with a shuriken to the skull. Momo trudged along the blood splattered and corpse covering armory and took two new weapons: a naginata and a tanegashima. "Arigatou," he said before finding a horokubiya and then before leaving, destroyed the armory to prevent the mech suits from being deployed.
With Draiman, Thom, and Mau5, they were walking down the hall. Draiman was expecting an ambush so he had his sword out. The two cyber imps had uzis at the ready. Just then a blast door near a security checkpoint closed and several agents appeared.
"Who are you and how did you get in here?" one agent asked.
(The Vengeful One - Disturbed)
"We are guys who are gonna teach you lesson. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL." Mau5 said, snickering.
"You best let us through if you know what's good for you. Or the question becomes which one of you motherfuckers wants to die first? You got ten seconds," Thom declared. He readied his uzi. The agents readied their weapons.
The security guard at the checkpoint ordered the attack. Soon enough, the cyber imps opened fire and gunned down the agents. Draiman swung his sword and caught three agents before they were promptly sliced from their torsos, spraying the hall with blood and organs. He then unsheathed his sword and took out two double barreled shotguns. He shoots at two incoming agents before he grabbed one and snapped his neck. He went for the security guard and brought his sword down on him, cutting him in two and destroying the console, causing the blast door to open.
This revealed other agents who were standing guard for if the demons came through. Draiman grinned and his hoodie hid his head, revealing his red eyes and sinister grin. He then took out his sword and to the surprise and horror of the agents, the sword turned into a minigun and the room instantly was filled with bullet holes, blood splatters, and corpses.
The minigun turned back into his sword and he and the cyber imps trudged through the halls. More agents appeared to stop them. The cyber imps had taken a few weapons to use and were now using taneshigamas to shoot down the agents. Draiman grabbed two agents and mashed their heads together, creating a bloody mess as the sound of cracking bones filled the halls. He threw the corpses at several more, disorientating them. The Painkiller then used the opportunity to stab four agents at a time with his giant sword before splattering it down and splattering the halls with cracks and spills.
The cyber imps threw grenades at the agents who were unaware of their presence and they were blown away. Draiman and the cyber imps come across a cafeteria that was littered with agents. There were even three mech suits that were deployed when Millie and Loona showed up with them. Draiman smiled, "Finally, a challenge! Come get some, motherfuckers!"
The agents came at them again. One by one, they were nothing but pounded meat and corpses in the halls. One of the mech suits sliced at Draiman, but it had little effect since he was already dead. He lifted it by the head, grabbed it with his other hand, and then tore it in two, splattering more organs, blood, oil from the mech, and threw it away, where it exploded.
Thom and Mau5 fired at the mech suits, but their bullets bounced off. They were rendered out of ammo.
"Son of a fucking bitch! WTF!" Mau5 swore.
"Calm down, Mau5. The agents dropped weapons. Let's use them," Thom said, handing a naginata to Mau5.
They then clashed blades with each other but by then they were overwhelmed. Just as the agent in the mech suits was about to deliver the fatal blow, a blade emerged from his chest, spraying blood. It was Draiman. "I don't think so," Draiman taunted, before he used his free hand to rip his head off and shoved the corpse off.
The last agent heated his katana and readied himself. Draiman turned to the agent and fired a shot from his shotgun at the leg, paralyzing it. He then went straight up and then raised his blade, bringing it down and slicing the agent in half. Draiman uttered a maniacal laugh after doing so.
"That was fun. XD. I hope theres more where that came." Mau5 cheered.
"Unfortunately, we still haven't found this Blitzo and Moxxie guy. We better keep looking," Draiman suggested. The three left the blood splattered cafeteria afterwards.
Back with Blitzo and Moxxie, the two captured imps were having the time of their lives making it difficult for the agents. Blitzo continued to insult Agent One's dead mother, sticking his tongue out at him. "Stop insultin' my mother, she's dead!" Agent One wailed, tears in his eyes.
Agent Two then comforted Agent One, "Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking," she advised, glaring at them before the two agents left the room and slammed the door behind them. Immediately, Blitzo squirmed to try and get out of his ropes, but he currently can't.
Blitzo sighed, "Don't worry Mox, if we keep being obnoxious they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works," Blitzo declared.
Unfortunately, it was heard through a recording as Agents One and Two watched on the screen.
"Hmm, so the demons wanna play games, huh?" Agent One said, a grin on his face, "Well we can play games."
On the controls, Agent Two pressed a button that was glowing bright green and joined in on the laughter. The button that was pressed was labeled Truth Bomb, "Yeah," she agreed.
"I'm just worried about Millie; she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure," Moxxie lamented. Blitzo tried to struggle through his bonds again.
"Ugh, she'll be fine Moxxie. It would take a roided up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset," Blitzo pointed out.
"We've never dealt with the human government before, she's in danger," Moxxie replied.
As they spoke, a green gas began to fill the room.
"Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie? It's always "oh how's Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie." "I'm so worried about Millie." And she's always five fucking feet away from you, it's pathetic!" Blitzo sneered.
"That was oddly personal," Moxxie reported.
"You know what you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that," Blitzo noted. Moxxie then noticed the green gas surrounding them.
"Sir! They're filling this room with something!" Moxxie said in alarm.
"Fuck!" Blitzo swore before taking a whiff of the gas, "The hell is this?"
"I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum," Moxxie verified.
"Oh, you just guess that's what it is?" Blitzo badgered.
"Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you," Moxxie suggested.
"Okay uh, does Millie ever peg you?" Blitzo quizzed.
"Sometimes," Moxxie answered before cringing in disgust, "Wait, ew! Fuck, why that?"
"Heh, I knew it," Blitzo said with a smug grin on his face.
"Well your suit is tacky!" Moxxie insulted. He suddenly regretted it, "Fuck, I'm sorry."
Blitzo's eyes widened at the insult, "How fuckin' dare you! You have shitty taste in music!" Blitzo shot back before he took it back, "Ah! Sorry!
"Shit taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you," Moxxie whimpered, suddenly tearing up.
"I lied, I left half way through," Blitzo said, who was also tearing up as well.
"You- you said you loved it," Moxxie sniffled.
"It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly horny cats!" Blitzo admitted. Before long, the two imps began to wail, "Oh god Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you."
From the other side of the room, the agents were watching the truth gas do the work. "This is gonna be a good night!" Agent Two declared, both of them had grins on their faces.
From the imps point of view, they could see the room distort and wriggle. Blitzo's vision turned into what looked like a white void. Blitzo shook his head and turned to face Moxxie, "Damnit Moxxie, this is all your fault!" Blitzo shouted.
"How is this my fault?!" Moxxie demanded.
Suddenly, Moxxie's vision changed and he was suddenly able to stand up as the ropes fell off. He walked forward into purple fog as everything seemed to resemble an animated Disney movie of some sort. Moxxie seemed to be dressed in an orchestra outfit. Organ music could be heard beginning to play.
"Blitzo?" Moxxie coughed, "I- I can't see you. God this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank, because I swear to Satan -"
"It is no prank, bitch!" A slightly deeper voice sang in an octave voice. Moxxie turned to see that it was Blitzo, dressed like the Phantom of the Opera, playing the organ
"Hey! Why do you sound like that?" Moxxie asked
"Because you my precious little bitch boy-"
"Stop it, Sir."
"-are tripping balls!"
The organ pipes acted as a spotlight and shined on Moxxie.
Moxxie: How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! Of course, Blitz, this would be your fault!
Blitzo stopped on an organ piece as the sound lingered a bit.
Moxxie: My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge?
Blitzo: Yes, bitch!
Moxxie: Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep so first of all: fuck you!
Blitzo: What?!
Moxxie: This is just typical well two can play at this game of dismay 'cause if you're here causing frustration I'm torturing you and your hallucination!
In Blitzo's hallucination, Blitzo seems to be wearing what looked like a circus outfit. The symbol on his forehead was replaced with a broken heart. The sounds of drums and an electric guitar could be heard in the background. Three swirls of sludge colored pink-black and brownish-red floated around him. Blitzo got up from the chair and looked around. The red slime screamed and covered Blitzo in slime. He focused on his hands, sniffed it and licked it. The red sludge came at him again, screaming at him and scaring him. The imp stumbled and fell into the mud. The sludge landed and turned into a doodle version of Moxxie.
"I simply follow your orders, it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower," scolded the doodle Moxxie.
"Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?" Blitzo demanded.
Moxxie (doodle): I am simply speaking Satan's plain English - perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time? and then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my-" As the doodle spoke, Moxxie was shifting between real Moxxie and the doodle. His lecture was being drowned out bu the music as the sludge was surrounded Blitzo.
"Shut up!" Blitzo screamed.
Moxxie's hallucination...
Moxxie: Why do you hurt me so?
Blitzo: I know!
Moxxie: Why must you push your friends away?
Blitzo: [harmonizes] I push my friends away
Moxxie: Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine?
Blitzo: I don't know, eventually everyone goes!
Moxxie: Cause you're thoughtless, and cruel and you'll end up alone!
Blitzo had a shocked look on his face.
Blitzo's hallucination...
"In fact, my dear boss, you don't know what you are doing half the time, and you depend on me and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy," the doodle continued.
As the doodle continued to lecture Blitzo, he had a frightened and conflicted look on his face before he turned back to the doodle Moxxie.
"I don't need you, I can do this shit on my own so easily!" Blitzo assured. But then a sludge grabbed the imp and threw him to the ground as if it were a lasso. It then formed what looked like Striker, except his form seemed to resemble something from an old movie that was in brown and white, like an old western flick.
"But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo," the hallucination of Striker taunted. Another sludge grabbed Blitzo and then threw into the air like a circus act. It then formed the Robotic Fizzarolli, animated as if he were from an old Fleischer cartoon.
"You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well," the hallucination of Robo-Fizz ridiculed before laughing like a distorted robot and then tossing Blitzo to the ground again. A pink sludge then crashed to the ground and formed another hallucination of Verosika, covered in sludge and crawling towards him.
"Did you still shove away anyone who gets too close, till they resent you for being a selfish shitty shithead?" the hallucination stormed.
Blitzo turned around to see the mud turning into white stairs with golden railings, as if they were from heaven. Falling feathers were seen cleaning out the mud. The imp tripped and looked up to see what looked like Stolas on a throne at the top of the stairs, being fanned by Blitzo's silhouettes.
"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" the voice of Stolas seemed to mock. Stolas grinned at the imp as he climbed the stairs on his knees. Golden feathers fell on Blitzo which then turned into golden shackles and his clown costume became his normal suit. Attached to chains, Stolas dragged Blitzo, who's golden shackle formed on his neck and Stolas grinned mischievously.
"I believe your self-conscious is trying that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy but also crave it as well, it's rather unfortunate as well. Considering it's how you treat those who stand by you such as myself-"
As the doodle spoke, it was accompanied by sludge versions of Striker, Fizzarolli, and Verosika, which then they became sludges again and flew away. A feather fell on the doodle and Moxxie became his real self again, this time dressed like a princess.
"-Are you worried that one day, I may have enough of it as well?" the hallucination asked.
Blitzo snapped under pressure as he couldn't take it anymore, "Stop fucking talking, all of you!"
Moxxie angrily closes his fan and vanished into what looked like fiery gold sludge.
In real time, Moxxie and Blitzo were drooling, probably from being under the effect of the truth gas. On the other side, the two agents were looking at them, munching on popcorn and sipping on a soda.
Back in Blitzo's hallucination, Stolas turned to gold and faded away, "You are going to die alone."
Blitzo watched in horror as everything was turning into gold. He was then surrounded by a vortex of feathers as the voices, distorted, continued to taunt him about dying all alone. The feathers then began to stick to Blitzo. He tried to scrape them off, but more continued to stick to him. It became to much as all that was left was his mouth and Blitzo screamed, heavily drowned out by the distortion.
Moxxie's hallucination...
Moxxie was seen walking up the steps towards Blitzo
Blitzo: Why, Moxxie, why have you held your true feelings inside?
Moxxie: I am scared of rejection.
Blitzo: Why, Moxxie, why do you have Millie put it in your butt?
Moxxie: It gives me an erectio- Hey!
Blitzo: No need to hide, we accept your true feelings, so promise me -
Moxxie: That I can do. To be true.
Blitzo: [harmonizing] To be true. The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty.
Moxxie: Oh.
Blitzo: I've been a jackass, it's true.
Moxxie: [harmonizing] You've been a jackass, it's true.
Blitzo: But soon as we're back as ourselves.
Both: I will be a better friend than I was before.
Moxxie: (as he sat beside Blitzo and played the organ along with him.) Be better at speaking my mind~ And…
Both: Together we can begin to become…fine.
The two smiled heartwarmingly at each other as the song ended.
Back with Millie and Loona, come across a door with a keypad. Millie was quick to notice the number 1 scribbled and faded out.
"Try 1," Millie suggested. Loona pressed 1 five times and the door opened. The two looked at each other and then entered as the door behind them closes behind them.
Back with the imp boys, they have awakened from their acid trips as the truth gas has finally ran out. Moxxie took a minute to process what has happened before finally he spoke up, "Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?" he asked.
"Not really," Blitzo answered.
"I remember. You told me I did a good job and, that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental but, you said that because I needed it. And it helped," Moxxie replied, turning his head to his boss.
"Look I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for me because, you know, my opinion is correct but, just keep doing a good job, kay? You shoot and kill good, you escape things easy, you could be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, and don't expect any more compliments I'm maxed out," Blitzo explained.
"Thank you, sir," Moxxie thanked, forming a smile on his face.
"You know my name, use it," Blitzo responded.
"Thanks, Blitzo."
A rumbling sound was heard, causing both imps to look up. Millie crashed through the ceiling. She saw Moxxie and smiled happily.
"There's my Millie!" Moxxie whooped. As soon as she untied the two, Millie grabbed his face as Moxxie had happy tears in his eyes.
"Impressive work, Mills! How did you get here all by yourself?" Blitzo complimented. As if to answer his question, Loona used Agent Two's head to break through the mirror-like window.
"Loony!?" Blitzo said in disbelief. Moxxie waved at her.
"Get your asses out here before more fuckers show up!" Loona ordered. She threw Agent Two at Agent One while he was staring in disbelief. Hellhound ears formed the ears first as she leaped up and became her hellhound form once again, dropping the backpack. Moxxie and Blitzo grinned and took out guns.
A puff of smoke appeared. It was Momo. He had a ninja sign as he looked at the Agents who were getting back up, "Hey dickbags. Daddy's home!" he hollered with excitement. His mask was now green.
And another ceiling bursted as Draiman, Thom, and Mau5 entered the fray.
"What's up, bitches?" Mau5 greeted.
"We're here to kick ass and take names!" Thom followed suit.
"And we are the vengeful ones!" Draiman shouted.
"Who the fuck are they?" Blitzo asked.
"Your new recruits. They decided to help out in the rescue as a way of proving whether they are worthy of being in I.M.P's graces," Momo answered.
Agent One pressed a button and the alarm sounded, alerting mooks to the location of the assassins.
"Okay I've had one too many emotions for today; guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!" Blitzo shouted with excited glee. Moxxie had a grin on his face and nodded.
"Shin no chikara misete-miyo!" Momo shouted in Japanese.
"Once again, we are guys who are gonna teach you lesson! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" Mau5 whooped, having been given ammo for their uzis.
The agent with the kusarigama was the first to launch an attack at Blitzo. Only for it to be caught in the fangs by Loona. Her eyes now glowing red as she tossed the agent at the other one. With the chain sickle still held with her mouth, Loona dodged another agent with a naginata. After several dodges, she slit the agent's throat and wrapped the chains around another agent before pulling and then decapitating the agent.
Millie jumped into the air and then sliced an agent in half. She clashed with an agent armed with a sword and then sliced off his arms before slicing his legs. She deflected several shurikens. She swung at the agent, but he dodged. Millie then clashed with the swordman before slicing at his torso and after deflecting several shurikens, slaughtered the agent. She smiled happily and twirled her axe, ready for more kills.
Momo was using his scimitars to swing like a chain at the agents, gutting down several of them. He then jumped up and threw several kunai at the agents before separating his arms into three arms each and then went on a slice and dice spree.
Mau5 and Thom were gunning down the agents as well.
"Hey guys! Guess what sound my roflcopter makes. It goes soi soi soi soi soi soi," Mau5 said, making the sound as he fired his uzi with Thom.
Draiman was also slicing at the agents. He then grabbed one and then stomped on his head before kicking the headless body away, causing more to trip. Draiman took out a hand grenade and threw it behind him. It exploded and it rained blood and body parts everywhere. He then turned his sword into a minigun again.
Loona was in the action when she saw this, "Oh hey, that huge sword turned into a minigun," she then had her eyes wide in surprise, "Holy shit! That huge sword turned into a minigun!"
Draiman proceeded to riddle the mooks with bullets, creating more splatters and more bullet holes in the room.
Moxxie and Blitzo, side by side, were gunning down mooks like there's no tomorrow. As soon as Blitzo's flintlock ran out of ammo, he reached into the backpack as Moxxie used uzis too.
"Mox, cover me!" Blitzo ordered.
"Yes, sir!" Moxxie acknowledged. He began to cover Blitzo as he searched for more weapons. The imp tossed two golden magnums to Moxxie, which he took. Blitzo took out a green dagger and went around stabbing the agents.
"Eat my ass!" he shouted with glee. He even took a picture of a decapitated head before throwing it to the floor. Moxxie was then beating the agent in the head with the magnum and Blitzo took out a pump-action shotgun, fired a shot, and then handed it to Moxxie. The two then nodded and they ran off to kill more.
Blitzo then assisted Loona, who kicked at an agent. Blitzo fired from a crossbow and slithered back for a minute. Loona growled and then snapped around an agent's head before throwing him. She then slammed one agent's head onto the floor, flattening it. Blitzo reached into the pack and gave Loona a machine laser gun of some sort.
"Die motherfuckers!" Loona shouted, gunning the agents down. She noticed Blitzo eyeing her and gushing.
"What?" she asked.
Blitzo hugged her face for a minute. While annoyed, she allowed it, "I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie!" he kissed her cheek before Blitzo ran off, "Bye sweetie!"
Loona growled and bit another guy in the head. She threw it at one agent with nunchucks, "Watch out!" she warned as the headless agent crashed into the other. Blitzo ran over to assist Millie.
"Hey Mills!" Blitzo greeted, waving.
"Hiya Blitz!" Millie greeted back before going back at the agents, "Just one sec!"
Millie sliced more agents off and then shredded one to pieces.
"Do you need a gun or anything?" Blitzo offered.
"Nah I'm good," Millie politely declined before slicing up more agents and then holding one she clung onto between her thighs.
"How about some water?" Blitzo offered, holding a bottle of water.
"Sure!" Millie happily accepted.
Blitzo proceeded to squirt water into her mouth and she drank it.
"Thanks, Blitzo!" Millie said happily, who crushed and decapitated a mook with her thighs.
"No problemy, Millie-Billie," Blitzo chirped. He then whipped out another pump-action shotgun and an assault rifle as he prepared to face off against the mooks himself, "Now, who want's some quality time with Daddy?" he challenged.
He gunned down several mooks before leaping onto one and then jumping off after gunning several mooks down. He took out a bat and smacked the agent around before smacking him in the groin. He took out a handgrenade and then smacked it away like a baseball, "Fore!" he shouted. The three mooks were caught in the explosion.
Meanwhile, Agent One and Two were trying to escape the chaos going on around them together. But a dead agent landed near them, missing a leg as all there was was a bone. A katana stabbed into his stomach, "Why god? Why are we only using weapons from japan's edo period?!" Agent One cursed.
Agent Two grabbed One by the collar and got into his face, "Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!" she hollered.
"Damnit, you're right," Agent One agreed begrudgingly.
Momo was using his katana and overheard what Agent Two said, "Thanks for the compliment!" he hollered to them.
"Look out!" Agent Two shouted, pulling Agent One to the floor as they tried to crawl away. They pulled to the floor just in time as Loona was gunning down mooks. Then they were stopped when a head rolled from a mook that was decapitated by Millie. They crawled to the opposite side.
Momo was slashing, slicing, and dicing several agents before he saw a pack of them. He put his katana and his mouth, heated it to a thousand degrees, and then ran and slashed at them, screaming, "HaaaaaAAAAAA! HIIYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA! HIYA!" he shouted, before sheathing his katana and closing his eyes. Japanese symbols appeared to indicate death.
"Omae wa mou shindeiru..." he said softly.
"Huh?" one of the agents said. At this, the agents splattered their guts all over the place as their body parts were spilled.
Thom and Mau5 were still gunning down mooks. Mau5 took out a grenade, "Throw all the things!" he said before throwing it and shooting it, causing another explosion.
Draiman grabbed two agents by the head and smashed them together before throwing them aside. He took out two machine guns and splattered the agents with holes before taking out a long barreled magnum. He fired a shot and the bullet went through six of them.
At this point, the agents attempted to make their retreat, but Moxxie was gunning them down as he stood atop a pile of corpses, uttering a battle cry. "Bitches!" he uttered.
Blitzo popped up, startling Moxxie, with the shotgun accidentally going off and killing a mook, "Oh wow really going for the dick there ain't'cha? Here I got it for ya," Blitzo said, stabbing the mook with the dagger in the testicles, "Now hold this."
Blitzo placed the backpack on Moxxie's arms and then pulled out a rocket launcher, labelled "My Dick". Momo noticed this, "Nantekotta!" he shouted in surprise.
Both Moxxie and Blitzo held the rocket launcher, "Oh yeah, gettin' hard holding this motherfucker!" he shouted with malicious glee as he fired the rocket, labelled Pussy Destroyer as it homed in on the agents and killed the remainder of them, uttering an evil laugh.
"Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?" Moxxie asked concerned. Blitzo jumped onto him.
"Wooooooo! How's that demon scum?" Blitzo whooped.
"TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" Mau5 laughed. Millie, Loona, Draiman, and Momo smiled at them.
Agents One and Two were hiding under a desk. She nodded to him and he pressed a red button. Suddenly, the alarms go off and the area turned tinted red, "Oh shit, c'mon fam lets blow this cock-sicle joint."
Millie picked up Moxxie and they smiled at each other.
They attempted to leave when the doors came down, "Hey!" Loona yelped. They were now behind several layers of doors.
"Quick! The book!" Moxxie ordered. Loona pulled it out and attempted to read it, but the red tinted lights blurred out the words.
"Shit! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick!" Loona panicked. She suddenly had a scared look on her face. Blitzo attempted to search himself for anymore weapons, but came out empty handed.
"Well shit. Looks like we've milked this weapon dick dry and now we're out of badassery," Blitzo huffed.
Moxxie and Millie hugged each other, Blitzo stared the agents down, and Loona uttered a growl. Momo had an angry mask on and Draiman rolled his eyes, his sword out, ready to attack. Mau5 and Thom hugging each other in fear. The agents pointed their guns at them.
"Ha! You demons aren't goin' anywhere now. AH!" Agent Two bragged. Suddenly, a shadow formed behind the group of assassins. The agents took a step back, as if something was amiss. A TV monitor came to life to static before showing a screen. The monitor continued to rattle before shutting off. What was standing next to the agents was a shadowy figure with glowing red eyes in the shadows. Monitors flew off the wall while more of them were now flickering. And then, just when it seemed like forever, a voice spoke...
"Who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" the voice threatened.
"Who said that?" Agent One demanded, pointing their guns.
Momo recognized that voice. Stolas? Is that you? he thought.
The agents see footprints walking towards them. Agent One attempts to shoot but a monitor smacked him in the face. His sunglasses were now off and he went sprawling on the floor. He sees Agent Two spasming and convulsing, "Agent Two?" One said. We then see Two's face, frozen in shock/horror. Around her, the corpses of the agents stood up, their eyes completely black and lifeless. The bodies began to kneel. Agent One attempted to approach her. And then to his horror, she stopped and her head twisted around to face him, but her body does not.
She then spoke. But she was not herself and the voice sounded off, mixing with another, "What's the matter demon hunter? Never seen a real demon before?" she spoke as if she was taunting him. The corpses began drawing Stolas' summoning circle around her in their own blood as she began laughing. Her head whipped back to normal and then she threw her head back. Black shadows mixed with feathers erupted out of her mouth. Demented laughing mixed with hooting could be heard as finally, the last remains of the shadows and feather came out, leaving Two normal again.
Millie and Moxxie looked bewilder, Blitzo looked up in wonder, Loona was texting something on her phone, Momo bowed in respect, Draiman looked in confusion, and the cyber imps were headbanging, humming a heavy metal song. The shadows, still laughing, formed a sort of monstrous owl beast, the demented laugh in various voices. The monster approached them, causing the agents to cower in it's presence as it roared at them. Finally, it pulled together and turned into a familiar shape, who glared at the agents huddled together with glowing red eyes. It was Stolas.
He turned away from them and pressed a button. The red light went away as Stolas walked up to the gathered I.M.P group.
"Holy shit! That kicked ass!" Mau5 shouted.
"Stolas-sama," Momo said.
"Who are you?" Draiman asked.
"Stolas? Wha- hold on - How did you know that we needed help?" Blitzo stammered.
"I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?" Stolas cooed, leaning forward and placing his hand on his cheek.
Blitzo rolled his eyes, "Ugh, I'm fine Stolas."
"Mm. Good," Stolas replied, giving him a pat on the cheek. He suddenly grabbed Blitzo's cheek roughly and his voice became sharp.
"How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here?" Stolas scolded, "You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We don't want that!" Stolas grabbed Blitzo's cheek for emphasis.
"They caught us off guard, your highness," Moxxie explained.
"Yeah. This wasn't their fault. They came out of nowhere and caught the two of them," Momo concurred.
"Yeah you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It's not gonna happen again, okay?" Blitzo promised.
"Luckily for you, most don't believe the words of the demon-obsessed lunatics," Stolas assured, "They are seen as kooks! Kooks! Such a silly word!" he giggled. He then clapped his hands together.
"Now! Let us all return," Stolas declared. He opened a portal back to Hell.
"Yes please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible," Moxxie replied. He helped Millie through the portal. Loona walked through next, looking at Stolas' grimoire. Momo walked through next, with Draiman and the two cyber imps going last. The two seemed to be admiring Stolas.
"Wow. Royalty," Thom simply said.
Stolas came next, picking up Blitzo bridal style, "Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?"
"Well I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?" Blitzo asked
"Very much so," Stolas agreed, leaning in for a kiss. Blitzo grabbed the back of his head and pulled him back, causing the prince to blush.
"Alright, but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps," Blitzo teased. He ran a finger down Stolas' face as he shivered with pleasure, his feathers fluffing out.
"Oh, please do~" Stolas flirted. The two partook in a French kiss as the portal closed behind them.
Back in the mortal realm, Agents One and Two watched them leave, processing everything the just happened tonight.
"So what now?" Agent Two asked.
Agent One suddenly had a smile on his face, "What now? We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!" With this said, he typed on a computer that was still intact and four scenes popped on the monitor. It seemed all of I.M.P including Draiman, Mau5, and Thom were caught on camera. The two agents put their glasses back on, "Nobody in corporate is ignoring this," Agent One declared, chuckling as the monitors cut back to static. It seems now it was only a matter of time before their existence was revealed to the world.
Back in Hell...
Draiman, Thom, and Mau5 were being greeted as the new recruits of the Immediate Murder Professionals the next day. Blitzo had the idea of naming Draiman as the demolitionist, since he's good at smashing things, with Thom and Mau5 as the partners for Draiman, obviously. Momo and Draiman had few disagreements when it came to stealth as it wasn't Draiman's style. But the two agreed on one thing: they both liked heavy metal.
Draiman had been interacting with the employees of I.M.P. First, he found Blitzo to be a bit infantile, but ultimately saw he cared for the company he called his fam. Moxxie and Millie he respected, mostly since they look out for each other. Though sometimes he makes jokes at the expense of Moxxie's misery, something also Mau5 joins in. As for Loona, they got along fine. Even close friends just like she is with Momo.
The two cyber imps were questioned as to how they came to be and why they were speaking in an outdated Windows voice. Long story short, during an Extermination, they survived, although they were clinging to life and their souls were almost gone. So they made a deal with a caster in dark magic and their souls were transferred into two automaton dolls. It was then they were found by Draiman himself.
One Friday night, Momo was talking to Octavia on the phone. Draiman entered as well, "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Uh...talking to a friend on my hellphone?" Momo answered nervously.
"What? You have a crush on her or something?" Draiman teased.
"What the fuck! No!" Momo denied sharply.
"What? Come on. You sure?" Draiman continued.
"She's just a friend of mine. Real close. Just like Loona," Momo corrected.
"Ah well, can't have everything I suppose," Draiman shrugged.
"Well, who the fuck knows who I'll end up with," Momo replied.
"So...that owl guy? Stolas was it?" Draiman quizzed.
"Yep. That's the daimyo I follow," Momo declared.
"I must say, he screams royalty. It'd be a shame if something were to happen," Draiman pointed out.
"No shit...I worry sometimes," Momo sighed. He told the Painkiller of the encounters with Martha and her cannibalistic family, Robo-Fizz, the rogue AI animatronics, the cherubs, and Striker. He left out Verosika since her beef was on Blitzo, not the group in general. Though he wondered how long it would last.
"I see..." Draiman nodded, "And this Octavia. Is she the daughter of the Goetia family?"
"Yes..." Momo answered.
"Well then, let us accompany you in smashing anyone who dares to harm them. We'll fuck their shit up," Draiman offered.
"...Sure, pal..." Momo agreed.
The two talked for the rest of the night. Perhaps things weren't so bad down here in Hell. And it seems Blitzo was open to more recruits. Momo hoped he'd fight alongside them.
Japanese translations uttered by Momo...
Doite kudasai! - Get out of the way!
Subarashidesu! - Superb!
Kite! Zehi,-te ni iretekudasai! - Come on! Come and get some!
Arigatou - Thank you
Shin no chikara, misete-miyo - Show us your real moves/power!
Omae wa mou shindeiru - You are already dead...
Nantekotta - Holy shit!
A/N: And the chapter is done! Man, I had more fun writing a chapter like this than I had in a long time. That was the best episode of a favorite cartoon that I have ever seen. Oh and underlined parts for when Mau5 speaks. That helps distinguish him since he speaks with the Microsoft Sam voice while Thom speaks with the Microsoft Mike voice. So anyhow, I can't wait for what Vivziepop has in store next. And where will Helluva Boss go from there all the way to the season finale that's inevitable. Stay safe and don't melt, disturbed ones. And keep headbanging! For you can't stop the Painkiller!