Jim walked into the shelter, and Claire nearly knocked him over.
"Where were you last night? Everyone expected you at Camelot. It's not like you to forget something that important."
Jim avoided her eyes.
"It's your mom, isn't it? She's having a hard time being alone in the house, right? Ah! I'm an idiot. This is the first time she hasn't had anybody else around."
Jim wanted to tell her the truth. Instead, he nodded.
"Okay. So, AAARRRGGHH! and Blinky have gotten the trolls to clear two digging sites for wells, one in the park across town, and the other near this shelter. Aja's working on a supply chain plan with Eli and Stuart. Turns out getting power back up shouldn't be too hard, though looks like at least half the substations are fried, so that's going to take a bit to fix, but we've got more fuel for the generators coming. Cell towers should be up by tomorrow night, and internet by the morning after. At least, that's what Krel says. It's a wonder no one's come snooping to find out why their relatives have been off the grid for a while. Or why such a big international news story just vanished overnight."
"Sounds like you did okay without me." Jim accepted a rolling cooler filled with ice and water bottles from the man at the front of the warehouse. He'd unbandaged one hand yesterday and the other before coming to the shelter this morning. So far, they seemed all right, and pulling the cooler was much easier than hauling a few bottles at a time like he'd been doing.
"You're the Trollhunter. We need you." Claire stood in his way. "You're grieving. We all are. That doesn't mean you can mope."
Jim walked around Claire.
"What's wrong with you?" This time, she grabbed his shoulder. "You've been acting weird ever since we came back from that first meeting a couple nights ago. Did I do something? Are you upset with me? You're hiding something. I can tell. Out with it, mister."
He steered the cooler to a disarmed emergency exit door, kept open with a clipboard to allow residents a way in and out without having to hike to the front of the building. Jim left the cooler inside and climbed a little hill separating the warehouse from a clump of trees.
Claire followed him.
Jim didn't stop walking until the odor of public toilets dissipated. He leaned against an oak. "I didn't know if I should tell you. It happened the morning after that first meeting." Jim recounted his experience with the Chronosphere.
When Claire crossed her arms and gave him an, "I know there's more" look, he added what happened with Excalibur, skipping the part about his brief visit to his mother's room.
"Did you think I'd say you're muy loco? Because you are—for not telling me sooner. This is serious stuff, Jim. Who else knows?"
"Blinky, AAARRRGGHH!, Dictatious."
"Your mom doesn't know?"
"I didn't think it was a good idea to tell her."
"She's gonna be so mad when she finds out you kept this secret. We've got to tell Douxie."
"No!"
"Yes. He loved Nari enough to risk himself to save her. We can't leave him out of this. And he might know something that could help us understand what you saw in the Chronosphere. He's got Merlin's library, after all. And I still think you should tell your mom. What's the plan?"
Jim slumped against the tree. "I… don't have one."
"What do you mean?"
"This is too much. We buried Tobes. I saw Strickler die. Doux and AAARRRGGHH! watched Nomura turned to stone, and we all saw Nari's last battle. They're gone, Claire. They're not coming back. There's nothing we can do about this! That sphere is toying with us." He pinched the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache. "This is why I didn't tell you, because—"
"Because what? I'm not willing to give up that easily? Because you don't think you can do this? Or is it you don't want to admit your girlfriend is more stubborn that you? Wake up!" She took him by the shoulders. "Stop being Jim the Jaded and go back to being Jim the Just—the Jim I fell in love with. Tobes might not be here to give you the kick in the pants you need, but I am, and I'm not going to let you sit by and do nothing."
This wasn't the first time Claire said she loved him, nor was it the first time one of his friends gave him a verbal smack in the face, and today the conviction in Claire's words sparked, setting fire to all Jim's excuses.
She was right.
He took her into a grateful hug. "I've been… more than stupid…."
She held back enough to see his face. "I hear a 'but.'"
"I'm terrified. That's the real reason I didn't tell you. I'm so afraid we'll look into this and find nothing. That whatever I do, it's going to make this worse. If I dare think any of this can be different, I'll only end up worse off than I am now. And, what if I lose you in the process? Or Mom?"
She dried his eyes with one sleeve. "It's okay to be afraid." Her nose reddened, and tears framed a weak smile. "It's not okay to stop trying." She curled both arms under his and pulled close, chin propped atop his shoulder.
Every doubt he'd ever had—about being the Trollhunter, a good son, a good friend, about whether this was the best thing to do—surfaced. He held Claire tight—his lifeline to hope. I won't give up again. Blinky said it. "Fear is but the precursor to valor." I hope he's still right. "We need to get to Camelot. But first, we have two stops to make."