Fanfiction: Because 87% of all original endings suck.

Fanfiction: Because 95% of all plot twists are either predictable or stupid.

Fanfiction: Because my favorite characters always die.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes evil deserves to win.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes authors just don't know which of their own characters go together best.

Fanfiction: Because most authors aren't willing to write multiple versions of their stories just so we can see every possibility that arises.

Fanfiction: Because all stories shouldn't have an ending; there should always be another adventure.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes there's no one your age and gender who you can relate to.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes you want to be in that story yourself.

Fanfiction: Because sometimes you have no other way to express the ideas in your head.

Fanfiction: Because it's an escape.

7 Ways to get over Fictional Characters:

You don't.
You won't.
You can't.
Don't even try.
You really won't.
You just can't.
It's impossible.

REALLY, WHY BOTHER?

FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Lends you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and says "Run like the wind! RUN!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves, and are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents, by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents, DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "That was yours? My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and slap him in face.

FRIENDS: Will tell you that you're a great singer even if you're terrible. BEST FRIENDS: Will tell you that you suck.

FRIENDS: Will ask why you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will already have a shovel to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will help you when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Will be laughing so hard at you they fall too.

FRIENDS: Say, "Wow, you're so pretty." BEST FRIENDS: Would pretend someone called them and say, "It was Shrek. He wants his face back."

FRIENDS: Will say, "There, there." BEST FRIENDS: Smack you in the head with a newspaper, yelling, "Pull yourself together!"

FRIENDS: Are around for a while. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

I will remember Frodo
When I am faced with an impossible task
I will remember Sam
When my friend needs me
I will remember Merry
When I want to fight for those I love
I will remember Pippin
When curiosity gets the better of me
I will remember Aragorn
When I can't hide from my future
I will remember Legolas
When defying the laws of friendship
I will remember Gimli
When I feel proud of myself
I will remember Boromir
When I forget about friendship
I will remember Arwen
When I sacrifice things for the people I love
I will remember Elrond
When trying to make wise choices
I will remember Galadriel
When I see that someone has the potential to change the world
I will remember Éowyn
When I cannot be with the one I love
I will remember Éomer
When I look at my siblings
I will remember Theoden
When I see my family for the last time
I will remember Gollum
When I want something to myself
I will remember Faramir
When I feel worthless
I will remember Denethor
When I am blinded by my grief
I will remember Grima
When fear controls me
I will remember Saruman
When I ignore people in need
I will remember Sauron
When I become addicted to power I will remember Bilbo When I find hidden courage inside of me
I will remember Thorin
When I lose faith
I will remember Fili
When I protect my siblings
I will remember Kili
When I feel reckless
I will remember Balin
When advising others
I will remember Dwalin
When I need to be strong
I will remember Gloin
When trying to save money
I will remember Oin
When I need to pay attention
I will remember Bombur
When I am cooking
I will remember Bofur
When trying to be positive
I will remember Bifur
When people doubt others by their appearance
I will remember Dori
When I am over-protective
I will remember Nori
When I take my life into my hands
I will remember Ori
When people doubt me because of my age
I will remember Bard
When helping strangers
I will remember Thranduil
When wanting the best for my family
I will remember Smaug
When I want to destroy things
I will remember Gandalf
When I am faced with death

I will remember John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
When reality is ruining my dreams
But when it's time to read the last sentence one more time
And close the book forever more
I will remember one last time
That John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
Has given me a light in dark places
When all the other lights went out.

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this

4 ways to be KICKED out of a supermarket: HILARIOUS !!

#1: If you can, write "I see dead people..." on the typewriters.

#2: Unwrap all the chocolate bars saying, "I've got to find that golden ticket.."

#3: Put a Dora The Explorer doll in the middle of the store and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say, "SWIPER NO SWIPING!"

#4: Throw skittles to people shouting, "TASTE THE RAINBOW".

7 Ways to Scare Your Roommate:

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

25 Things my mother taught me.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, for when you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

A girl died in 1933. A man buried her while she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE- if you have ever listened to music in another language, and sung along having no IDEA what they are SAYING and PROUD OF IT

Me: *cough* *cough* Italian Opera

WHOA!!! STOP DON'T MOVE!! I HAVE A HUNDRED LASERS ON YOU...NO DON'T GO LOOKING FOR THEM...ALL EYES ON ME!!! I DON'T KNOW YOU STRANGER SO HALT WHILE I MAKE AN ASSESSMENT OF YOU...NO LOOK AT ME NOT FOR THE LASERS...*ponders and strokes dead slapping fish* hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Now for some questions...

Q1) Do you like Harry Potter?

Yes- Move on to Q2

No- Then you're a freaking Muggle, what the heck are you doing on ma page?? *obliviates and sends away*

Q2) Do you like Doctor Who?

Yes- Move on to Q3

No- EXTERMINATE!!! *gets daleks to exterminate and take away*

Q3) Do you like Star Wars?

Yes- Move on to Q4

No- *uses the force* this is not the page you are looking for

Q4) Do you like Star Trek?

Yes- Move on to Q5

No- *beams up and sends away to learn Klingon*

Q5) Do you like Fablehaven?

Yes- Move on to Q6

No- *Pushes into Naiad Pond*

Q6) Do you like Avengers and GotG?

Yes-Move on to Q7

No- HULK SMASH!!! *squishes*

Q7) Do you like Lord of the Rings?

Yes- Move on to Q8

No- YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAASS!

Q8) Do you like the Hobbit?

Yes-You are officially a nerd and I'm now powering down the lasers! *powers down lasers*

No-SMAUG EAT THEM!!!

THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!

I’m a female. Fe = Iron. Male = Man. Therefore, I am Iron man.

Penguins can’t fly, I can’t fly:( Therefore, I am a penguin.

Shower = the place of thoughts and decision making.

Saying ‘and, yeah’ when you don’t know how to finish a sentence.

Going into the fridge every 20 minutes to see if the food fairy has brought anything good to eat.

If you can’t win an argument, correct their grammar instead.

That awkward moment when it’s quiet in class and your stomach decides to make that dying whale sound.

I renamed all my files “the world” so every day when I “save” the world I feel important.

I hate when websites ask, “are you human?” umm hello? I'm obviously a unicorn.

When you’re angry, your texting speed increases by a ridiculous amount.

Got bored, so I logged off. Then logged back on, because I got bored.

“H3y, [email protected] R y0uu dO!nq?!” Well, I’m about to throw a dictionary in your face.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever write FanFictions when you should be doing homework, paying attention in class, etc., put this on your profile!!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy this into your profile!!

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over a bug, put this on your profile.

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, ect) copy this to your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

if you have ever run into a telephone pole, copy this onto your profile.

if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it?"

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.”

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet

Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

Living your life is more important than making a living.

Don't try to out-weird me. You. Will. LOSE...

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder

I'm the type of girl that will burst out laughing over something that happened.. yesterday. Or a week ago. Or a month ago.

I didn't lose my mind. It's at home sitting next to my common sense.

I didn't fall, I was testing gravity... it still works.

Six Truths in Life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

You know you live in 2014 when...

1. You are on your computer everyday

2. You'd rather wander around looking for the remote than go to the TV and manually change the channel.

4. You are on this site often.

5. You haven't play 'Solitaire' with real cards for years.

6. As you read this, you keep nodding and smiling.

7. You were too busy, reading, nodding, and of course smiling, that you didn't notice number three gone.

8. You looked back to see if there was a number three.

9. You feel a bit stupid.

10. You think this is funny.

11. You want to copy this in your profile, right now

If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this on your profile and don't just ignore it, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.'

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two strongly built, tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won’t re-post it? If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile.

93% of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7% who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"; copy this into your profile, and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, roughdiamond5, Random Little, Writer FanofSnicket, MissVioletBaudelaire13, Girl-With-No-Name x, craZharrypotterblondie, Dr. Rae, KoOLkaTMeoW13, Saiyansweetheart, RubytheDragon1999, cariomario123, FanO'theNinja121, otakuchamasherlockluvr

I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, then I realized -- look what's telling me that.

I'm out of my mind right now, but you may leave a message

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity

When everything's going your way, you're in the wrong lane.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed.

One day we'll all look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject...

Don't follow me, I walk into walls.

Duct tape is like the "Force" It has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together

There is no 'normal', only varying levels of weirdness.

"Change is good. If you walk in the same direction your whole life, you will eventually hit a tree."

So far, this is the oldest i have ever been.

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Since the universe is infinite than everything is its center, therefore I shall no longer accept any argument to the effect that I am not the center of the universe

Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me there.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all.

Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head

Fun flies when you’re doing time.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark

When life gives you lemons; well hey! Free lemons.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

My reality check bounced.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer holeg and die.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

If you cannot understand my mind, then i have succeeded in being original.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

If silence is golden, is talking silver?

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

It's always the last place you look for it... of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

We are the people our parents warned us about!

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit more effort, you can be absolutely and perfectly impossible.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Whoever said nothing is impossible, obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.

Sharks hug with their mouth.

The Zombies are coming! They're hungry for brains! Don't worry, you're safe.

My mind works like lightening...One brilliant flash and it's gone.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

When in danger, run, scream in circles, and shout.

I hear your silence loud and clear

HELP!! I got lost in my mind, it was uncharted territory...

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

The only way for people to meet your standards, is for you to lower them, a lot.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

A computer once beat me at chess, but was no match for me at boxing.

Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!

To fail you have to try. To try you have to fail first to start again.

Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes, he's my best friend. I call him Snarky for short...

I'm not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to use sarcasm.

“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

HA stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's Tough, get a helmet

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Only in America, do banks have braille on the drive-thru ATMs.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

War doesn't determine who’s right. War determines who’s left..

If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

You can’t be late until you show up.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

A clever man commits no minor blunders.

Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

Clever men are good, but they are not the best.

A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Okay, that rip in the time-space continuum was so not my fault...ish.

Oh! Look, a distraction!

Normal is a setting on a dryer.

In case of emergency, break dance.

For sale! My parents: buy one, get one free.

37 Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Enter Wal-Mart

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

You may be obsessed with Lord of the Rings if: { The ones in bold are the ones that relate to me}

You invoke the name of Elbereth against Twilight movie posters.

You tape your ears to make them pointy.

You try to communicate with trees.

You keep an eye out for the Entwives.

You name buildings after places in Middle-earth.

You shout "Aiya Eärendil elenion ancalima!" whenever you see Venus or turn on a flashlight.

You call the Big Dipper the Sickle of the Valar.

You can recite family lines from the Appendices without looking.

Your family knows not to ask you a question about LotR - they will get a long complex lecture when they just want a simple answer.

You can talk for ten minutes about something in the movies, but you fuss at anyone else who speaks.

You don't really need to watch the movies AGAIN, because you have all the dialog memorized - for the Extended Edition.

You cry at some point during all three movies.

You stop in your tracks and salivate whenever you see an LotR item you don't have.

Almost every sentence you say has something to do with LOTR.

Your teacher mentioning Orlando Bloom in a conversation in English class makes you laugh for an hour.

You spend your free time either a) studying Elven history or b) studying Elvish. Or both, of course.

You get annoyed whenever a book says the adjective form of elf is "elfin" instead of "elvish".

If you've also read Percy Jackson and the Olympians, you have an overwhelming impulse to call the Stoll brothers Merry and Pippin.

If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile.

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. Good for you!

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile. (lol so funny...)

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

f you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. (now they won't do it ever again... I REALLY showed them... *evil laugh*)

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you love reading, copy this into your profile

By the time you read this you’ve already read it. *Mind Blown*

GET OUT OF MY HAPPY PLACE BEFORE I RIP YOUR ARM OFF.

If you met my family, you'd understand.

88% of teenagers think that reading is a waste of time. Copy and paste this into your profile if your the 12% that thinks those people are nut jobs.

If when your saying "good game,good game ,good game" but really, all you want to say is " WE WON YOU SUCKERS!!!!!!" , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in la la land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

If silence is golden, then why is duct tape silver?

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever ran into a lamppost or some other tall, metal pole that is blatantly obvious...you know what to do

If your friends take everything you say and make into something dirty copy and paste this into your profile

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: Where the heck is my ceiling?

Cute but psycho - things even out.

You say psycho like it's a bad thing...

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DANG IT!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

I am not weird... just plotting.

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

Just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you hate homework, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're okay with laughing at yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever pretended to bend the elements, then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

If you constantly update your profile, put this in your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to slap yourself/someone else, put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on the table and/or hit your head on a shelf for no reason, put this in your profile.

If you seriously wish you could SLAP Denethor (LOTR) than copy/paste this into your profile.

If you always put too much chocolate syrup in your chocolate milk than copy/paste this into your profile=)

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' or there, their, and they're. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile.

“A lot of people think they know what a book is. But in reality not that many do. You see a book is not something you do when you’re bored; it’s not something you were forced to read for a stupid school report. No, a book is something more than that. A book is something that can make you cry for hours for someone who’s not even real (no matter how much you want them to be). It’s something that can make you laugh on your glummest day, at something that’s not even relatively funny. It’s something you scream at when something goes wrong and the idiot in the book won’t listen to you (no matter how hard you scream). It’s something that you get so lost in that you forget the date and where you are for a second. A book is something that’s so addicting that even when you say, “This is the last page, and then I’ll put it down,” you turn the page anyway. It’s your best friend through thick and thin, weather you’re black or white, fat or skinny, young or old. A book is just that- a book; it’s just that some people don’t know what a book is, even though you’ve known your whole life.” by xXIceshadowXx. If you agree with this and know what a book is copy and paste this on your profile. (xXIceshadowXx owns all rights to this quotexX)