This is my first time writing for Mako and her mom so I hope I did well enough with them.
Thank you all for your amazing comments and kudos/favs, etc. It means a lot.
As a heads up, I'm basing Ryuko in this partly off my own recent feelings when I lost my grandmother, so some of Ryuko's experiences on that are venting. And as for Satsuki, hers are as well regarding the sexual abuse and self-harm. Somehow, I found ways to relate to both of these precious sisters.
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"Don't cry, Ryuko. The time comes when a girl outgrows her sailor uniform."
Senketsu's words echoed in Ryuko's mind like a mantra. Her senses filling with the smell and sight of flames as he burned to pieces within her grasp. It was just like the day her father died, and how his house burned down before she really had a chance to talk with him. She had been helpless to stop either one of them from dying.
"Senketsu... That damned idiot… He shouldn't have had to die… That's not what I wanted."
Down deep, she knew it wasn't rational, but the question had been haunting her ever since losing him, if she was somehow responsible. Maybe if she had been stronger or did something differently then Senketsu would still be alive.
More than anything she just wanted to see him again, hear his voice, apologize for how stupid she'd been.
The guilt for turning against him and allowing Junketsu to control her plagued her entire being. Damn Nui and Ragyo, even now it still pissed her off, it was all that bitch Ragyo's fault. If not for her and her stupid Cocoon Sphere bullshit, then Senketsu wouldn't have had to throw his life away to save her pathetic ass.
And yet... the one she hated the most right now was herself .
I should have been stronger.
The voice in her head repeated over and over again as tears welled up in her eyes. The overwhelmingly painful reminder that she no longer had him by her side to talk to anymore hurt more than she could stand.
In all honesty, she supposed she should have long since been used to this feeling due to having been abandoned all throughout her entire childhood and yet somehow that only made the feeling even worse, if her father being killed by Nui hadn't been bad enough.
He was just there.
And then, just like that, he wasn't. Just like that, in a split second, her entire world was turned upside down and he was gone. And he was never coming back.
Why did people have to dying on her, leaving her? It hurt.
Even Ragyo, despite how much she hated her and even though she could never forgive her for the things she did... No matter how much she wanted to deny it, the cold hard truth was that Ragyo was still her mother, the person who brought her into the world in the first place, so seeing her kill herself right in front of her... It almost felt like a betrayal of some kind, just another stab to the gut since she was now the only being like her left in the world. Instead of facing the people she hurt and the damage she'd caused, she just took the easy way out, and it pissed her off so much.
Confusion.
Confliction.
Pain.
Hurt.
Sadness.
Countless emotions swarmed her head and consumed her heart, making it hard to think or even know what she was truly feeling.
For Ryuko, who was only 17 years old, it was still a lot to take in, to truly process. It just wasn't fair. Why did it have to be her family that was that this messed up? Why did it have to be her who was born with such a fucked up body?
All she'd ever wanted was a normal family, a normal life, and the Mankanshokus more or less gave that to her without wanting anything in return, but sometimes it still hurt knowing her true origins, remembering that she had been unwanted and discarded at birth by her mother, that her father had shipped her off to a boarding school as soon as she got old enough for it, cutting off contact with her for years; that she grew up bullied and alone basically her entire childhood, without the warmth of a loving family, which led her to eventually becoming a straight up punk in school to cope with even a fraction of the hurt and loneliness she was feeling.
She was used to being alone, so why? Why did losing Senketsu have to hurt this bad? Why did she have to lose one of the first people aside from Mako that she had actually been able to become close to? One of the people who loved and accepted her, fought by her side, despite everything and he was gone.
Damn it...!
She just wished he was still there with her, even if he was making dumb jabs at her BMI again, she would be totally fine with that, just as long as she could wear him again, talk to him. Hell , even if she couldn't wear him again, that was okay too , as long as he was with her in some form or another. That was all she wanted.
"Ryuko-chan...?"
Ryuko snapped out of her thoughts when she felt Mako's arms wrap around her sob-wracked body. She absentmindedly looked over her shoulder to see her girlfriend, who had a worried look on her face.
"Mako…" Ryuko's voice cracked and without thinking about it, she returned the embrace. Burying her head in Mako's chest, Ryuko freely let sobs wrack her body. "I really miss him. God, it hurts so bad. I just want this pain to go away…"
"I know you do. Senketsu was your friend, you two went everywhere together. It's only natural that you'd feel that way." Mako gently combed a hand through Ryuko's bed hair, giving her a small kiss on the crown of her head. "But it's all okay, Ryuko-chan. Everything's gonna be okay. You know why?"
Blue eyes met brown as if inquiring for an answer. Mako gave a gentle smile.
"It's cuz I told you before, remember? You still have us, and even Satsuki-sama too now. You're not alone anymore..." she said. "Even so, you've gotta take care of yourself... So please..., will you eat something? For me...?"
Mako already could guess the answer, but she had to try.
Ryuko was silent for a moment as she considered it, but in the end averted her gaze, her stomach not feeling up to taking in anything.
"...I'm sorry, Mako, I just... can't right now…" Ryuko said, her voice cracking.
"...I thought you might say that… It looks like you leave me with no choice then." Mako stood up, pointing out a finger towards Ryuko. "I'll just have to get mom to make you something so good that even you can't resist it! Just wait here. Mankanshoku Mako's on the job!"
"H-hey, wait, Mako-!" Ryuko started to call out. However, Mako was already gone, headed down stairs. "Geez… Why's she always like that...?"
Somehow, she couldn't stop herself from smiling softly. That was Mako for you. No matter what kind of funk Ryuko found herself in, Mako had never given up on her. Something inside of Ryuko felt undeserving of her kindness. She had hurt Mako before just as she had hurt Senketsu and yet Mako remained by her side completely undeterred. She was the most persistent person Ryuko had ever known. If not for that devotion, what could have become of her?
Even now, it was scary to think of a world without Mako, but it was even more crazy to think that Mako had asked to go out with her of all people, and yet it made her happier than she could ever imagine and she had no intentions of passing that up. She was so grateful that Mako had wanted her to be a part of her life like that, because she wanted the same. She had for a while, in fact, even long before Mako asked her out.
Something inside of her wished that she could repay all of her kindness somehow, but there was nothing she possibly could do to make up for everything the Mankanshoku family had given and offered her.
Somehow knowing that, and remembering how patient Mako had been with her only made everything hurt more.
...
When Satsuki arrived, she was immediately greeted by Sukuyo, who opened the door for her.
"Oh, hello, Satsuki-chan. How are you today?" Sukuyo asked, giving her the same 'chan' honorific she always gave Ryuko. She had been addressing her that way for a while now any time they spoke and it was definitely a bit odd at first, but somehow it was comforting since it made Satsuki feel more like she was part of their family.
Her views on what a mother was supposed to be like had been no doubt distorted because of Ragyo, but, if she had a choice, Sukuyo would be closer to the kind of mother she would have desired growing up. Naturally, she knew that was only wishful thinking and after the suffering she'd caused Mako's family, it was surprising that they even wanted anything to do with her.
"I'm doing well, thank you for asking." Satsuki said politely, having taken off her shoes before entering. In truth, she was anything but , but there was no point in saying that or worrying her. She was here for Ryuko, after all.
"Ryuko-chan is in her room right now. Would you like for me to make you some tea while you talk to her?" She offered.
"I'm not certain how much help I'll be, but, yes, I would love that." Satsuki smiled, but in truth felt a bit out of place, wondering if she even had the right to say yes. It was offered to her, so it would be rude to turn it down, right?
She awkwardly moved her bandaged hand out of sight when she caught Sukuyo's eyes on it.
"Then I'll get straight to it." Sukuyo beamed, pretending she didn't notice. "Now... go on up and be there for your sister, okay?"
"Right. I will." Satsuki acknowledged. She started to dismiss herself to go see Ryuko, but before she could she ran into Mako, who was more than happy to see her.
"Oh, Satsuki-sama, you finally made it! I was wondering when you were going to get here." Mako started to hug her, making Satsuki more uncomfortable than she wanted to admit. It wasn't that she distrusted Mako, just the association with physical contact created by Ragyo made it practically unbearable. Not to mention the fact that her arm was covered in lacerations and it was impossible not to flinch when Mako unknowingly rubbed against them.
"It's good to see you as well, Mako. But if it's no trouble, could you please let go of me?" Satsuki asked sheepishly, her voice weak.
"Oh, sorry." Mako apologized.
"No, it's fine, thank you. I should probably go and talk to her now." Satsuki told her.
"Right. You probably know already, but Ryuko-chan upstairs." Mako nodded, her facial features faltering a bit. "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you even if she doesn't say it. She needs you, Satsuki-sama. I know she does. She's just hurt and confused right now because of Senketsu dying, so if she says anything that isn't nice, just remember she doesn't mean it, okay?" Mako answered, trying her best to reassure her. Ryuko's mood had been fluctuating a lot lately. Sometimes all she could do was cry and break down in tears, and other times she was angry and would snap at those around her saying things she felt bad for and apologized over later. Mako never took any of it to heart, of course, because she knew that Ryuko was in pain. Eventually all of it would pass, Ryuko just needed time.
But as for how Ryuko would react to seeing Satsuki, she couldn't say for certain. Even with that aside, taking chances was better than doing nothing. Ryuko needed as big of a support system as she could get and Mako could tell that Satsuki deeply cared for Ryuko and vise versa despite their rough start before finding out they were sisters. She was sure bringing Satsuki into this matter was the best thing she could do for Ryuko.
Satsuki, on the other hand, wasn't so sure about that, but didn't say anything against it. "I see. I'll keep that in mind."
With that, she began heading upstairs to Ryuko's room, ready to face whatever risks she had to if only for the slim possibility that her existence would help Ryuko after all. After all, she was no stranger to what it was like to lose somebody important to you. She had dealt with her own fair share of heavy emotions following her father's alleged death and even if it wasn't entirely the same experience as Ryuko had, it pained her to know that her baby sister had had to go through such a thing.
…
Once again thanks for the kudos and favs, everybody. I hope y'all will continue to enjoy this. :)
This story will contain a lot of Ragyo bashing in the future, so erm if by any... chance you're a fan of her as a person rather than just as a villain, you probably shouldn't be here.