When Ryuko woke back up she saw that it was light outside. Had she actually slept all the way through the night? She looked to her side at Satsuki, who had apparently fallen asleep as well.
"Nee-san? We should probably get off the floor. Hey, wake up." Ryuko called out. This time she knew better than to try to touch her when she wasn't even really conscious.
After a moment, Satsuki squinted, opening her eyes. She jumped a bit, before slowly coming to.
"Ryuko…? What time is it?" She murmured, a bit dazed.
"I dunno, I just woke up. It looks like we slept through the night." Ryuko told her.
"Ah… It seems that way, doesn't it?" Satsuki noted, looking out the window.
"Like I said, though, I think we should get off the floor." Ryuko said awkwardly.
"I know... just give me a minute to gather my thoughts, alright?" Satsuki still felt drained even if she had slept. No nightmare, though, so that was a positive. That, however, could fluctuate and change at any given time.
"Sure, whatever you say, Satsuki." Ryuko smirked a bit, and after that, she dismissed herself to go bathe in the bath house, leaving Satsuki behind.
...
Several hours later, Ryuko and Satsuki had both taken baths(separately of course). Ryuko was currently lounging on a couch, as she absentmindedly watched her sister traipsing around. Neither one of them had said much to the other for quite sometime now so Ryuko couldn't help herself from wandering back to their conversation from yesterday.
"…The dream I had... It was about Ragyo… Every time I saw that woman, she…"
For some reason Satsuki's words kept echoing in her head, making her grow more anxious by the second.
"Is sex not considered by most to be the basis of a relationship? If I said yes, I am almost certain she would expect that of me sooner or later and I have no desire for such a thing. It scares me."
Her nightmare, the fear of physical contact...
Ragyo certainly wasn't beyond doing something like that, but could her suspicions really be right? Even with Ryuko herself, Ragyo had gotten far too handsy and close for comfort on a couple of occasions. Something about the whole memory, even about how she had kissed Nui under the influence of Junketsu sent a wave of nausea to her stomach, and for some reason she suddenly felt dirty at the thought of it.
There was no telling how Satsuki would react if questioned, but if it was really bothering her so much, then wasn't there some way to help her?
"You did not know Ragyo as well as I did. I grew up around her and witnessed all of her worst traits first hand for years."
Damn it .
Ryuko had quickly found herself at a complete loss of what to do right now, and yet
the thought that Satsuki might have been molested for who knows how many years by their mom just freaked her out.
The worst part about it was that it would explain everything .
The question once again began nagging at her, urging her to ask Satsuki about it, but in the end not a single word left her mouth.
At some point, somebody knocked on the door.
Satsuki opened it to see it was Nonon.
"Hey…" Nonon said a bit awkwardly.
"Nonon, why are you here?" Satsuki asked.
"Well, I was kind of worried about Satsuki-chan after what happened the other day, so I wanted to come check up on you. How are you feeling?"
"I am fine, but I must apologize for cutting our meetup short, as well as for what I said to you. It was rude of me." Satsuki said, blushing a bit as Nonon took her hand into her own.
"No, don't say that, Even if you don't feel the same way, I'm okay with just being friends. As long as you're happy, that's all I care about..." Nonon assured her, having no clue that Satsuki actually did return her feelings. That, of course, wasn't something Satsuki could bring herself to tell Nonon.
"Hey, bitch." Ryuko smirked, catching her attention.
"Huh?" Nonon scoffed, not that thrilled to see her. "Oh, great, it's her. Why're you here?"
"Well, we are sisters, so I thought I'd spend a few nights with her." Ryuko said. "Why? You don't have a problem with me staying with my family , do you?"
"Right, I forgot." Nonon said sarcastically, momentarily looking away.
She then gazed down at Satsuki's hand, noticing the bandage wrapped around it. It did catch her off guard a bit, but she decided to not question it, not thinking it was that big with the view that she saw. "So um… anyway... I was thinking maybe we could… go out again? Not like a date or anything, just…"
"Yes. I would love that." Satsuki already knew what she meant. "You do not have an issue with Ryuko coming along, do you...?"
"Nah. I'll tolerate her, but only for you , Satsuki-sama." Nonon smirked before sticking her tongue out at Ryuko, who sent a death glare back at her.
"Oh, I'm sorry , you wanna start something?" Ryuko sneered, daring Nonon to challenge her.
"Who knows? Maybe." Nonon teased.
"Alright then, but don't complain when I beat your ass into the ground. Oh, wait, that's right, without your Goku uniform I bet you can't even touch me, with how small and short you are." Ryuko snorted.
Nonon's height was a secret sore spot for Nonon, rage consumed her but before she could say anything in response, Satsuki cut her off.
"Both of you two, that is enough. It would be wise not to provoke each other while we're in town, so behave yourselves." She said, as she gently placed a hand on Nonon's head, receiving a small blush from her.
"Tch. Yeah, yeah. I gotcha." Ryuko grumbled in response.
"And Nonon, try not to let her comment bother you too much, okay? I think you are perfectly fine the way you are." Satsuki smiled.
Nonon looked up at her, her face turning a bit red. A part of her still felt insecure.
"You really mean that…?" She asked in a low voice.
"Yes." Without thinking and caught up in the mood, Satsuki softly brushed a hand across Nonon's cheek to offer reassurance. It took a moment before she even realized what she was doing, and immediately heat flushed her face in response to her own actions. By the time she could retract her hand, however, Ryuko and Nonon had already noticed it, and Ryuko had no intentions of letting it go.
"Nee-san, are you blushing?" Ryuko smirked, causing Satsuki's face to go even brighter.
"A-and so what if I am..? What is your point?" Satsuki weakly murmured, stumbling over her words in the process, immediately turning away to hide her face. All she had done was touch Nonon's cheek, why was she getting like this?!
Drawing in a deep breath she somehow managed to calm herself down, cursing her fast heartbeat.
Ryuko opened her mouth to speak up but Nonon beat her to it.
"Satsuki-chan-" Nonon started to inquire, confused by her actions. Did Satsuki… like her too? If so, why would she reject her? No , it had to be her imagination. There was no way Satsuki would like her like that. She'd made it perfectly clear she wasn't interested.
Satsuki couldn't even face her. "Let us go. We must not waste anymore time than we already have."
After that, the subject was dropped at least for a while.
…
Once they were in town, Nonon had started going on about college and some exams she was gonna be taking with Satsuki tentatively listening and making occasional comments here and there.
"Hey, Satsuki-chan, I have an idea. Let's go do some Karaoke together! I guess she can join too if she wants." Nonon suddenly suggested.
"Ryuko?" Satsuki inquired her thoughts on the matter.
"Uh, yeah. I mean I'm pretty much okay with whatever you guys wanna do." Ryuko said casually, not caring one way or the other. "I probably won't sing myself but that doesn't mean I couldn't watch, right?"
"Great!" Nonon excitedly began pulling Satsuki by her hand to follow her. "Come on, Satsuki-chan!"
Satsuki blushed a bit in surprise, before smiling softly at the back of the shorter girl in front of her, allowing herself to be dragged along wherever Nonon wanted.
…
Until a couple days ago it had never truly dawned on Ryuko that Satsuki was still just a teenager, but as she observed her and Nonon while they were singing together, Ryuko found herself grinning.
For the first time in who knew how long, Satsuki genuinely looked happy. Even if she seemed a bit awkward, she was clearly enjoying herself regardless and it was downright hilarious to see her , who was usually calm and composed, reduced to a blushing mess far more than once in front of the girl she liked.
Ryuko didn't know many of the details of their past together, but she could tell just by watching them as they were now, that if there was anybody who could truly get Satsuki to open up, it was Nonon.
Satsuki meanwhile was quickly finding herself drawn into the world of music. She fortunately knew most of the songs because they were ones she had heard Nonon play around her on multiple occasions.
She wasn't used to singing much at all, so a part of her truthfully felt a bit insecure, but as long as Nonon was by her side, it was fine.
This was fun.
As time passed them by, Satsuki had found herself smiling more and more, having completely forgotten about her surroundings and current stresses even if only for a while.
Occasionally, she stopped, allowing Nonon to solo. Just watching and hearing her sing, it was relaxing. Even in the past, Nonon would often sing for Satsuki at times when she was depressed or not quite herself. To Satsuki, Nonon's voice was beautiful, it always had been.
Suddenly, her face flushed red when she realized where her thoughts were going. Nonon looked at her inquisitively, hoping she would join back in again.
Satsuki gladly did so, trying to push back the thoughts she was just having again.
…
Later on, Nonon urged Satsuki along with her to several different stores in the area, Ryuko following behind without saying much.
"Ryuko, would you like to pick out some clothing?" Satsuki tried to catch her attention. She could tell that Ryuko was starting to pull away somewhat. Maybe keeping her mind off of Senketsu would help somewhat. "Some of these look like things you would wear. I do not mind paying."
"Oh, uh, sure, but are you really okay with that? It's not like I'm gonna have the money to pay you back or anything." Ryuko said with uncertainty.
"Please, it is fine. I could buy out this entire store if I so desired it." Satsuki smirked.
"Heh. You got a point there." Ryuko laughed a bit, before deciding it couldn't hurt to get some new clothes, she had so little as it was. In the end, she also got a black hoodie. As promised, Satsuki covered the cost of everything.
Even though Satsuki kept insisting on involving her, the truth was Ryuko didn't mind being a third wheel since she wasn't much for interacting with other people to begin with. She was just glad to see that her sister was happy for a change.
Unfortunately, the negative thoughts eventually began bugging her again. She couldn't help but wish Senketsu were there with her to talk to.
The crowds suddenly became overwhelming, and her head was spinning. The memory of the flames clouded her vision, making it hard to breathe.
"I'm kind of hungry, do you wanna go get something to eat?" Nonon asked Satsuki.
"That would be..." Satsuki said, trailing off into silence when she suddenly saw the look on Ryuko's face beside her. She placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ryuko…"
"I miss him, Nee-san." Ryuko murmured quietly, tears in her eyes.
"I know…" Satsuki said, her chest aching for her sister as she softly wrapped her arms around her, hoping it was the right thing to do. She looked up at Nonon. "I think we should go somewhere quieter, if that would not a problem."
"Yeah, sure, I don't mind." Nonon smiled, softly. "There's actually an Italian restaurant a couple blocks down, so we can go by there. It's better than nothing and it's not as noisy as many other places."
"That sounds wonderful. Come on, Ryuko." Satsuki let go before gently pressed a hand to her back. She encouraged her to follow them.
Ryuko wordlessly did as asked.
…
When they arrived at the restaurant Nonon decided to order some Lasagna and Rissoto, as well as a tea.
Satsuki meanwhile stuck with a simple antipasto platter and decided on tea as well.
Looking at Ryuko now, Satsuki figured she wouldn't want anything and using force over something like this was not option. Still, she would feel bad if she didn't at least try to get her to eat something .
"Ryuko, I know you are probably not hungry right now, but I still want you to try to eat a few bites of something. How does Pizza sound? Or if there's something else you want instead, just tell me."
"...I guess. Pizza is fine…" Ryuko said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"What do you want to drink?" Satsuki asked.
"...Maybe a Lemonade?" Ryuko asked in a low voice.
"Alright. When the waiter arrives, we can ask for that." Satsuki smiled.
...
Once they had their stuff ordered, the waiter brought them their food after asking what kind of toppings Ryuko wanted on her Pizza. Nonon hadn't said much of anything out of consideration for Satsuki and Ryuko right now. She wasn't all that close to Ryuko, but down deep she still sorta considered her a friend and didn't like seeing her in so much emotional distress.
Ryuko stared at the plate offered to her, feeling nauseous at the thought of eating anything.
"Ryuko… just a few bites. Please… " Satsuki wasn't usually the type to plea, but she would do anything she had to to see to it that her sister took care of herself. Ryuko had lost a lot of weight as of late, and Satsuki herself had felt it last night when Ryuko fell asleep on her but didn't say anything.
Could a life fiber hybrid like Ryuko die from starvation? It was not a question she had ever considered before, but quite frankly Satsuki didn't want to found out the answer to it. All she knew was that Ryuko was neglecting her own health and she needed somebody to encourage her to look after herself right now.
Even if Ryuko couldn't die from something like that, which was very plausible, it didn't make Satsuki feel any better about it, nor did it reduce her concern for her sister.
Unfortunately, much to Satsuki's frustration yet expectancy, Ryuko remained stubborn as she always had been, refusing to eat a single bite.
Satsuki sighed. "Ryuko… If you really do not want to eat anything, then I cannot force you, but will you at least tell me why? I am well aware it has to do with Senketsu, but I wish to understand further so that I may help and perhaps talk it out with you. Is that… not what sisters are supposed to do for each other...?"
As she said that, she felt out of place, looking down awkwardly. Being in the position of an older sister was still new for her, she never knew how Ryuko would respond, whether she would accept her help or resent her for it.
Ryuko gazed up over at her and felt a warmth enter her chest. Satsuki was genuinely trying to reach out to her; to take initiative as an older sister she never had the chance to be before.
How did she only truly realize that now?
After a moment, Ryuko averted her gaze, clutching at the fabric of her shirt.
"...It just… feels wrong to me… Without him here… It's like... I don't deserve to eat or something… It keeps making me sick. I… I should have been stronger…"
"I know that you are in pain right now, and you are trying to find a way to blame yourself for what happened to rationalize it... In your mind, it probably even feels like finding what you 'did wrong' will make everything okay somehow. But no matter what you may think, it was not your fault… So it hurts me to see you putting yourself through this. Senketsu cared deeply for you and he would not want you to starve yourself for his sake."
"Yeah, I know that…!" Ryuko snapped, growing more frustrated by the second. "But I can't stop myself from feeling this way…! I just..."
Tears glistened in her eyes.
"He was right there… and then he was gone ." Ryuko clutched at the fabric of her shirt, her voice cracking.
"I am well aware of what you must be feeling." Satsuki calmly spoke, softly brushing a hand through her hair to offer comfort as she pulled her into an embrace. "And it will take time. I do not expect you stop feeling sad and nor am I asking you to move on, but please... at least try to let the hate you have for yourself go. You do not deserve to suffer like this. You did everything you could have."
"Nee-san…" Ryuko stifled a sob. "Thanks…"
Much to Satsuki's relief, Ryuko returned the hug.
"Do not mention it." Satsuki said with a painfilled smile, allowing Ryuko to pull away after a moment. Ryuko then leaned over the table burying her head in her arms.
Satsuki immediately grew disheartened at that, feeling insecure in her title as an older sister and questioning what it was that she was doing wrong. None of her efforts or words had been good enough to encourage Ryuko to take care of herself. Even yesterday, she had only done it out of guilt and obligation. Mako's family had trusted her with Ryuko and yet she-
Upon looking down at the food she had left on her plate, she suddenly lost her own appetite and that was when she felt a hand on hers, cutting off her thoughts. It was Nonon. She was looking at her with worried eyes as if trying to offer some comfort. Satsuki sheepishly returned the gesture.
Nonon glanced over at Ryuko, before deciding to speak up, gazing away nervously. "Do you two… Wanna go back home? I kind of feel like I might be in the way right now."
Satsuki didn't know how to respond at first. On one hand, staying out much longer probably wasn't good for Ryuko, but she still didn't want Nonon to leave her side right now, because the truth was she had had fun today. She had always liked spending time with her, even back when they were kids. So the idea of having to cut that short again hurt more than she had expected it would.
"Perhaps it would be best if we returned to my place, so that Ryuko may get some rest. Even so… Can you…" Satsuki felt her face heat up a bit. "stay with me, Nonon? If not, I will understand..."
"You mean like stay the night ?" Nonon was a bit surprised. "Sure, I don't mind. But we used to do that all the time, so there's no need for Satsuki-chan to be embarrassed about it. What's gotten into you?"
She laughed, finding it a bit cute.
"It is nothing… I just…" Satsuki tried to say, but she felt more awkward by the second, unable to to finish her sentence in the end.
"Well, whatever the reason, I'm okay with it, but I'll have to get some of my stuff first, alright?" Nonon told her.
Satsuki nodded, smiling a bit. "Of course."
She then reached over, gently placing a hand on Ryuko's shoulder. "Ryuko, let us go home."
"Oh, yeah, sure." Ryuko slowly stood up after a moment. However, as she did, a wave of dizziness suddenly hit her and she almost fell. "Shit…!"
"Ryuko...! Are you okay? What happened?" Satsuki caught her, immediately concerned.
"'s nothin." Ryuko murmured, placing a hand on Satsuki's shoulder to balance herself. She recovered within seconds. "I just got dizzy for a second there. I'm fine now, though, so don't worry about it."
"Are you sure? You look pale." Satsuki asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just drop it." Ryuko said curtly, shutting down her concerns. She didn't want to talk about it, already having an idea what it had been caused by.
Satsuki sighed, knowing the conversation was already over at that point.
…
A/N: Finally another chapter is out. I hope somebody enjoyed this. We're finally getting more into the SatsuNon side of this but that's gonna be a slow go because even though Satsuki's feelings are obviously there, and even though her and Nonon have known each other for years, a huge part of her is still uncertain about the whole thing.