I have to tell him.

After our encounter with Paul, that's all I can think about. I mean, he could have told them at any moment, and then... I don't know what would have happened, but it wouldn't have been good.

Honestly, I can't believe that he didn't tell them. It's not like he would have cared about hurting me. Heck, that jerk would have probably enjoyed it.

And there's more. When Ash helped me back there... I remembered.

I didn't want to remember it. It was the worst time of my life. Worse than my friends abandoned me. Worse than the time the Electabuzz ended last in the season. Heck, it was even worse than anything Paul ever did to me.

But... I can't forget it anymore. It's too important for me to forget. And it's too important for me to not share with my friends. To not share with Ash.

But what will he say when he finds out?

I'm not just scared. I'm terrified. If I tell him about this, I'll need to tell him everything. And then what will he think?

He might very well leave me. Just like all my so-called friends. And... he might even tell me that Paul was right. That I really am a freak.

Could it be true, though? Am I really wrong for being who I am? Am I... a freak?

I don't know what I'll do if he says that.

All of these thoughts were floating in my head when Ash spoke to me.

"Hey, Casey? Are you okay?"

I pushed my thoughts away as I looked at him. He seemed concerned, and so did the rest of my friends.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said quickly. "I'm fine."

It only took a quick glance to know that they didn't believe me at all.

"Are you sure?" said Misty. "You've been really out of it since yesterday."

"Yeah," said Brock. "I mean, that jerk Paul was really mean to you. He... didn't get to you, did he?"

I winced. As much as I don't want to admit it, he was right. Paul messed me up. But the last thing I want is to tell my friends why.

"Well, yeah," I said. "Paul's mean to me, but I'm used to that. It's just the way he is."

It's not a total lie. I'm used to Paul not showing me any respect. Treating me like garbage. Calling me a freak. But because of him, I now have to tell my friends the truth. And that's what messed me up the most.

My friends still seemed concerned, but they didn't press the matter further. And as they turned their backs to me, I let out a sigh of relief.

But I could tell that it would be short-lived.

As we rested, I took a moment to sit down beneath a tree. My friends were all doing their own thing, so I was able to have a few moments to myself.

Making the most of my solitude, I opened my bag and pulled out the little bottle that held my pills. I quickly took my dose, eager to have it take effect.

As I closed the bottle, my eyes fell on the label. Without realizing what was happening, I found myself reading the description.

I hated it.

Those words were mocking me every time I read them. They were a constant reminder of everything that was wrong with me. A reminder of the fact that I'm… not normal.

I wished I could just toss it away and never read those words ever again. That I could just be done with it all and not have to deal with my medications. But I know that I can't do that. Those pills are the only thing that are keeping me as me. And if I lose them...

"Rowl!"

Fortunately, I received a very welcome distraction in the form of a familiar fire type.

"You!" I said as my eyes fell on the unusual Growlithe in front of me. "What are you doing here?"

"Growlithe!"

I was confused by Growlithe's presence, but I was also fascinated by it. Unlike normal Growlithe, this one was yellow with black stripes. Which almost made it look like an Electabuzz.

Not gonna lie, I really wanted to catch it.

Not that it was likely to happen, given that Growlithe didn't look too friendly.

"Uh, do you want something?" I said as I stashed my pills back into my bag. "I mean, you're not with Paul anymore, right?"

Growlithe stared at me, causing me to sweat a bit. What did it want, anyway? I wanted to ask more, but I was interrupted by a voice.

"Hey, Casey? Are you there?"

I looked up to see Ash walking through the trees, Pikachu and Cyndaquil by his side.

"Ash!" I said as I got up and pointed at Growlithe. "Look who I found!"

Ash and his Pokemon looked where I was pointing. But Growlithe also noticed them, and it quickly turned hostile.

"Growl! Rowrow!" it said, crouching into an attack position.

"Growlithe?" said Ash. "Why is it here?"

In response, the puppy Pokemon lunged at Cyndaquil, sending it flying backwards.

"Cyyynnn!" Cyndaquil cried as it was launched into the air.

"Pika!"

"Cyndaquil!" Ash said in alarm. But before he could do anything else, Growlithe rushed forwards, aiming to use its Bite attack on the little fire type.

"Why is Growlithe attacking Cyndaquil?" I asked.

"I don't know," said Ash. "But we're not just going to stand and take it!"

He turned his cap backwards and pointed at Cyndaquil.

"Cyndaquil! Dodge until you find an opening!"

Before Growlithe could land a blow, Cyndaquil jumped out of the way. He then dodged another hit as Growlithe launched itself once again. This time, Growlithe seemed to lose control, and tripped over a broken branch.

"Now! Use Tackle!"

Cyndaquil charged at Growlithe and knocked it back into a tree, causing it to yelp in pain. It then fell to the ground, clearly unable to battle any more.

"Yeah!" said Ash. "You did it, Cyndaquil!"

"Pikapika!"

"Cynda!" Cyndaquil said happily.

"Yeah, that was amazing!" I said.

Ash grinned, then frowned as he looked over at Growlithe. He then walked over to Growlithe, with the rest of us following him closely.

"Are you going to catch him?" I asked.

Ash looked at Growlithe for a moment, seemingly considering the possibility of having it on his team.

He then shook his head.

"No, I don't think so."

To my surprise, he pulled out a couple of berries from his bag and placed them in front of the defeated fire type.

"There," he said. "That way he'll be able to recover his strength once he gets back up.

With that, he began to walk away, with Pikachu and Cyndaquil following closely. I looked back at Growlithe for a second, then joined Ash.

"I don't get it," I said. "Why didn't you catch it?"

"I don't think it would be right," he said. "From what I can tell, Growlithe really doesn't like me, so it wouldn't be right to force it to be on my team."

"Wow," I said, impressed by Ash's reasoning. "But what about catching Pokemon after a battle? Wouldn't that be forcing them onto your team?"

"Yeah, it can feel that way sometimes," said Ash. "But in my experience, they do want to have a trainer most of the time, and challenging trainers is their way of testing to see if the trainer is worthy of training them. Growlithe, on the other hand, just doesn't like me for some reason."

I stared at Ash in awe, amazed by how well he understood Pokemon.

"That's… amazing," I said finally.

"Yeah," said Ash. "Truth be told, I don't want to force Pokemon to be something they don't want to be. That wouldn't be right."

"To be something they don't want to be…" I repeated.

It sounded kind of silly. But it honestly meant more to me than he probably realized.

Afterwards, we were gathered around the table for lunch. But while the rest of my friends were eating happily, I was just poking at my food with my fork.

I mean, it's not that I wasn't hungry. It's just that food was the last important thing on my mind. Between Ash's encounter with Growlithe and my own thoughts and feelings, I could only wonder what my friends would say if I told them the truth.

Ash had said that it wasn't right to force Pokemon to be something they didn't want to be. But would he say the same thing about people?

Would he say the same thing about me?

"Are you okay, Casey?"

I was taken out of my thoughts by Misty's voice. I looked up to see my friends all looking at me worriedly.

"Oh," I said quickly. "I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?" said Brock. "Because you've barely touched your food."

I looked down at my barely-picked plate, and sighed.

"I'm okay," I said, though my voice gave me away.

Then, Ash put his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, Casey?" he said. "You can tell us anything. You know that, right?"

I really want to believe that. I really want to believe that my friends won't reject me if I tell them everything. But I'm still scared.

Even so, I don't want my friends to worry about me.

"Yeah," I said as I looked at him with a smile. "I know."

Ash seems satisfied with this, so he goes back to his food. I then decide to try and eat, hoping to distance myself from my thoughts at least a little.

I can only hope that he means it when he says that I can tell him anything.

Ash and Cyndaquil were standing in a clearing, trying to figure out how to overcome Cyndaquil's trouble with its fire attacks. Pikachu and I watched them, hoping to see them perfect their moves.

"Okay, Cyndaquil," said Ash. "Try using Flamethrower again!"

Cyndaquil took a deep breath and began to blow. Unfortunately, nothing came out.

"Man, Cyndaquil is really striking out, isn't he?" I said.

"I guess," said Ash. "He just can't get the kind of power he showed me when we met, and I don't know how to get it back. Which is kind of a big deal, since the next Gym Leader is supposed to be a bug type specialist, so fire types are probably the best type to deal with them."

"Pika Pika."

Cyndaquil started running around, trying to warm himself enough to get his fire started, but it didn't seem like he was having any success.

"That's really not good," I said. "At this rate, he'll probably be stuck as your relief pitcher."

Ash frowned as he looked down at his newest Pokemon. He wanted to say something, but before he could, we heard a familiar voice.

"Growlithe!"

Ash and I looked around, and saw Growlithe standing in front of us.

"Growlithe?" said Ash, his voice sounding surprised. "Why are you here?"

"Growlithe!" the puppy Pokemon barked. "Growl grow!"

"He really doesn't seem to like you, huh?" I said.

"No," said Ash. "I wonder if it has to do with me beating him?"

Growlithe looked angry, and Cyndaquil seemed nervous. Not that I could blame him. He was probably uneasy about having to beat the other fire type over and over again.

Why was Growlithe still following us? Did it want revenge or something? It kind of made sense; if Ash hadn't beaten it in his battle with Paul, then maybe Paul wouldn't have released it. Of course, that wasn't Ash's fault. That was all Paul.

It was always Paul.

Cautiously, I approached the puppy Pokemon. It looked at me and growled slightly as I got closer. I felt a bit intimidated by this, but I still hoped that I could reach out to it.

"Hey there," I said. "I'm Casey."

Growlithe stared at me warily, clearly not willing to trust me.

"Why are you chasing Ash around so much?" I asked. "Are you mad at him or something?"

"Growl, Growlithe," the fire type barked, seemingly confirming my suspicions.

"I guess that's how it is," I said. "You know, that Paul guy is a real jerk. You do know that, right?"

Growlithe didn't say anything. It just looked at me, and I wasn't sure if it was going to listen or not. But I wasn't going to give up without giving it a try.

The Electabuzz wouldn't give up either.

"I know, you're frustrated because Paul doesn't want you anymore," I said. "I mean, it sucks when people don't want to be with you anymore just because you're being yourself. But it's not good to try and chase them when they won't accept you. Because that means that you can't be who you are inside. It means you have to live your life behind a mask just to please someone else. It means you live your life batting for the wrong team."

Growlithe was staring at me with wide eyes. And even if I couldn't see them, I could tell Ash and his Pokemon were doing the same thing.

"Trust me, if being true to yourself means being rejected by people, that's still better than living as something you're not."

I stretched out my hand, letting Growlithe sniff my hand. I smiled as it started to wag its tail, seemingly starting to warm up to me.

I looked behind me and saw Ash and Pikachu watching in fascination.

"Wow," Ash said in awe. "How did you do that?"

In response, I just smiled.

"I guess I just had the right feeling."

As I turned back to Growlithe, an idea popped into my head.

"Growlithe?" I said. "Do you still want to have a battle with Ash and Cyndaquil?"

Growlithe tilted his head, though he still seemed to want to battle.

"Well," I said, "Why don't we battle together?"

"Rowl?"

"You want to battle with Growlithe?" said Ash.

"Cyn?"

"Yeah!" I said. "I mean, maybe that way he'll be able to stand a better chance, and so he won't be so angry at you!"

"Oh, yeah!" said Ash. "That makes sense!"

"Pikachu, Pika!"

With that, Growlithe and I moved to one side of the clearing, while Ash and Cyndaquil walked over to the other side. Pikachu moved to the middle, seemingly taking the role of referee.

"Pika! Pikachu Pikapi, Pikachu Pika!"

I couldn't help but giggle at how seriously Pikachu seemed to take his role of referee.

"Okay then!" I said. "Growlithe, it's time for you to step up to the plate! You may not be in the big leagues yet, but we're still going to do our best!"

"Rowl!"

Ash grinned, and Cyndaquil seemed similarly excited.

"Pikapi! Pika!" Pikachu said, seemingly telling us to begin.

"Okay!" I said. "Go for a Bite!"

"Dodge it, Cyndaquil!"

"Grow!" Growlithe cried as it jumped forwards. However, Cyndaquil managed to jump out of the way before the attack could connect.

"Tackle!"

"Try and Bite him!"

"Growl!" Growlithe barked as it lunged at its opponent, while Cyndaquil did the same. The smaller fire type slammed into Growlithe, causing it to since, but it managed to land a good Bite on the fire mouse Pokemon.

"Try and use Bite again!"

"Jump out of there, Cyndaquil!"

Growlithe rushed forwards with its jaws wide open, but Cyndaquil managed to jump out of the way. I figured that I needed to change my approach, so I gave a new command.

"Growlithe! Use Flame Wheel!"

Growlithe barked as its body burst into flames. It then curled up into a ball and rolled off towards Cyndaquil. The smaller fire type seemed nervous, but Ash had a confident look on his face.

"Cyndaquil!" he called out. "Turn around and let it hit you!"

I blinked. Let Growlithe hit Cyndaquil? What was Ash planning?

Whatever he was planning, Cyndaquil seemed to trust him, at least. So he turned his back just as his opponent slammed into him. He cried out in pain as the Flame Wheel hit him, and I wondered what could possibly be going through Ash's head.

And then Cyndaquil's back burst into flames.

"Yeah!" said Ash. "Now use Flamethrower!"

The fire mouse Pokemon turned around and blasted his opponent with fire. Growlithe was knocked backwards, wincing as he landed on his feet.

I grit my teeth. I have to admit, that was pretty clever of Ash. But Growlithe and I weren't out yet!

"Growlithe!" I called. "Use Flame Wheel again!"

"Flamethrower!"

Cyndaquil blasted Growlithe with fire. But while Growlithe was being hit pretty badly, he was able to power through the attack and slam into the smaller Pokemon.

"Now take him out with Bite!"

"Dodge it and use Tackle!"

Growlithe attempted to use his attack, but Cyndaquil jumped out of the way just before the attack could hit. He then lunged, slamming his body into the larger fire type with enough force to send it flying backwards.

"Now use Flamethrower!"

"Cyyynn!" Cyndaquil cried as he blasted Growlithe with fire. The puppy Pokemon was too stunned to dodge, and cried out as the flames surrounded its body.

"Growlithe!" I yelled as Growlithe collapsed. I watched worriedly, hoping that it would get back up, but it was clearly out.

"Pika Pikachu," said Pikachu, amusingly still taking his job as a referee seriously. "Pikapi, Pikapika!"

"Yeah, we did it!" said Ash. "And we managed to get your Flamethrower working too! That's awesome, Cyndaquil!"

"Quil!" Cyndaquil said excitedly.

I have to admit, I'm disappointed to strike out like that. But it's not as bad as it could be. I mean, at least I didn't have all my Pokemon beaten by Ash's crazy Charizard.

And Growlithe is probably more disappointed than I am.

As I walk up to the puppy Pokemon, I can see that it clearly isn't taking it well. It looks up at me and let out a soft whine as I looked down at it.

"Hey," I said as I crouched down. "I guess you really wanted to win this one, didn't you?"

Growlithe whimpered, which just broke my heart. How could Paul be so mean to his Pokemon? Especially a Pokemon with such a rare color scheme! Growlithe is such a wonderful yellow and black striped Pokemon! I would just love to have it in my team!

Yeah… I would love to have it on my team.

I placed my hand on his head and rubbed him, which made him look up at me in surprise.

"You know, nobody ever bats a thousand. Everyone strikes out sometimes. And some people don't like that. Some people, like that jerk you used to be with, just want to have their team always win every battle. So they get frustrated when they can't do it. And sometimes, that means they abandon anyone on their team who can't win all the time."

"Growl?"

"I think you're awesome, Growlithe," I continued. "And if Paul can't see that, then it's his loss."

I then pulled out a Pokeball and held it in front of Growlithe.

"Why don't you come with me?" I said. "We can become stronger together, and one day we'll show him! And then he won't be able to tell us what we can or can't be!"

Growlithe looked up at me, clearly unsure. I couldn't help but wonder if it still wanted to go back to Paul. I had heard that a lot of Pokemon were very loyal to their trainers, and canine Pokemon like Growlithe especially so. Could it be that it wouldn't accept me, and would only wish to go back to its original trainer?

Then to my relief, the puppy Pokemon pressed its nose to the Pokeball, and was sucked in. The Pokeball then shook for a moment, before sparking, indicating a successful catch.

"I… did it!" I said excitedly. "Guys, I managed to catch Growlithe!"

I looked up to see Ash and his Pokemon looking at me in amazement.

"Wow, that was great, Casey!" said Ash. "I bet you and Growlithe will be awesome together!"

"Pi-Pikachu!"

"Cyndaquil!"

I smiled at them, then looked down at the Pokeball in my hand. Another Pokemon on my team, and with the same door scheme as Electabuzz! I couldn't be more excited.

And I would do everything I could to be a worthy trainer for Growlithe.

Brock and Misty were both impressed by how I had caught Growlithe.

"That's amazing," said Misty. "I bet Growlithe will be a great team member for you!"

"Togie togie!"

"Yeah," said Brock. "I'm impressed that you managed to connect with Growlithe so quickly."

"Oh, it wasn't that hard," I said as I rubbed the back of my head. "I just had to get an idea of what Growlithe was feeling."

"That's still pretty cool," said Ash. "You must know a lot about Pokemon to have figured out what Growlithe was thinking!"

"Pikapika!"

"Well," I said bashfully, "maybe I do."

As I think about how I had caught Growlithe, all I could think about was what I had said before I caught it… and what Ash had told me.

I don't want to force Pokemon to be something they don't want to be. That wouldn't be right.

If being true to yourself means being rejected by people, that's still better than living as something you're not.

I had spent so much time pretending to be something I wasn't, and yet I couldn't even tell my friends the truth. And even though I told Growlithe that being rejected was better than pretending, I was still terrified of rejection. Especially now that I had my friends.

Especially now that I had Ash.

"Casey?" said Ash. "Are you okay?"

I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to tell anyone. I wanted to pretend that it wasn't a problem that I had. Hopefully they would never know, and we could just go along with our lives never having to mention it.

But… I knew better. They would find out eventually. If not from some jerk like Paul, I could just tell it would get out eventually.

"Guys…" I said as I turned to look at them. "I need to tell you something."

I couldn't back out of this.

The Electabuzz would never back out.

A/N: Yeah, a shiny Pokemon that has Casey's favorite color scheme? Was there ever any doubt that Casey would catch it?

And on an even more important note, I'm really excited for the next chapter. Casey's big secret is finally going to be revealed!