Meditation

Obi-Wan Kenobi had seen many strange things throughout his life. Although, he never thought he'd live to see the Chosen One, his former padawan, the great Anakin Skywalker meditating. It was surely the end of the world.

'I can feel your presence, my master', whispered the baritone voice of his padawan.

'Of course you can, my old friend', he answered gently as he moved carefully toward the other man.

It has always been Anakin's favourite spot. As a child who had been raised in a planet such as Tatooine, he became obsessed with water as soon as he set foot on Corusant. Once, he burst into tears thinking he would be punished for wasting water as he took a shower for the first time in their apartments. That was a long time ago but still, something breaks inside his chest at the sight of his apprentice crying desperately.

'What worries you, my padawan?', he asked as he sat next to him.

The atmosphere of the room was calm, peaceful. It makes someone feel in tune with the whole galaxy. He closed his eyes and he let himself go. His frustration, his worry, his anger flew into the Force. He breathed slowly and opened his eyes to look at his padawan who was looking at him strangely.

'Anakin?'

'I must tell you something and you'll probably hate me after that, Obi-Wan', said the younger man as he looked again to the water.

'That's not gonna happen, Anakin', he whispered.

Anakin bent down his head toward his knees, his hair falling and covering his face. Obi-Wan sighed, he can't remember the last time he saw his apprentice so defeated. He moved so he could come closer to him.

'Hey, don't do that. It's me. We have known each other for more than 10 years, I have raised you since you were a boy, I have fought endless battles with you by my side and I wouldn't want another man or jedi next to me. No matter what', he whispered soothingly.

'God, forgive me', whispered Anakin and Obi-Wan was sure he wasn't talking to him, nor himself. He was speaking directly to the Force.

'I did something unforgivable… ', started Anakin as he looked to his hands, unable to look at Obi-Wan.

…..

Infinite sadness.

That is Obi-Wan's fate.

But it wasn't meant to be for Anakin as well.

God…

A massacre…

In the name of love.

How could he have been so blind? How couldn't he see that his padawan had committed such atrocities after the death of his mother? He thought he knew him better than anyone. Even more than Padme Amidala, she may be his.. whatever. But he has raised him, they share a bond. They are two parts of the same soul. They are family in all but blood.

And he had failed him spectacularly.

'I told you so.. '

'What?', he asked still in shock

'That you'd hate me, my master', said the young man looking broken.

The truth was he never though Anakin cared for his approval. He thought he was just an annoying father-brother-teacher for him.

He was obviously mistaken.

'I would never hate you, Ani', he said as he took Anakin's chin so he could look at him, but the younger man refused to look at him, 'Look at me', he begged with his 'general Kenobi' best voice.

'That's an order?'

'Indeed, my very young padawan'

Anakin sighed and looked at him.

What Obi-Wan saw in his eyes broke his heart in a thousand pieces.

'Nothing… And you listen to me, well… Nothing you could have done, nothing you can do, or will do… can make me hate you. Not now, not ever', he confessed.

'How can you say that, master? All these years… lecturing me and now, that I have committed the worst crime possible, you … forgive me?'

'Oh no, don't take this the wrong way, Anakin. I cannot forgive you, no one can. Not even yourself. What I'm saying is that I don't hate you… I pity you, I hate myself for failing you… But I cannot hate you'

'Why?

'Because I love you more than anything else in this universe, my dear child', he said.

He didn't expect Anakin to jump away from him as if he has just burnt him.

'No.. Attachment is forbidden. You cannot love me. Master, You cannot. Everyone who loves me ends up…'

Dead.

Oh, his poor child.

'And I will die, Anakin. I will. As you will. No one can live forever. And I.. I hope I die way sooner than you, I won't outlive you. You can't expect me to do that, nor I will allow it'

'But…'

'No father should bury his child, Anakin', he said firmly.

And then, all hell brooke lose.

Anakin threw himself into his waiting arms, crying and wailing as a hurt animal. He tried to soothe him with kind words, sweet nothings as he used to do when Anakin was a child. He wondered why he had stopped hugging him when he was obviously a touchy person.

He didn't know how much time they spent there just holding each other.

He didn't cared.

His child needed him and he was going to be there for him.

It was something no one else could do for him, he would ease the burden for his child and he expected it would diminish his pain.