XCW: Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling

by Ivan Dallas Page

A new breed of animated wrestling enters the competition. Featuring characters from both cartoons and video games, as well as a variety of fight styles from mat-based to hardcore, there's no doubt that animated wrestling just got taken to the extreme! The Abolishment go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre is completed!

95. XCW Massacre: October Week 1 Part 2

And now, without further ado, the second half of the Abolishment fallout episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I own nothing.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mario and Spongebob were walking each other down a hallway with their arms around each other's shoulders.

"Mamma mia. . .that a-chair shot hurt a-like hell. . ." Mario said, in between breaths. ". . .you okay, Sponge-a-bob. . .?"

"I dunno, Mario. . ." Spongebob responded, ". . .my head is killing me. . .oh, dear Neptune. . ."

"It's alright, buddy. . ." Mario said, wiping sweat off his brow, ". . .our wounds will heal. What's most important. . .is that the Kings of Greatness have a SYMBOL of a-their greatness at a-the end of a-the day!"

"Yeah, but it won't be for too much longer…." said a figure standing in front of them. Mario and Spongebob stopped in their tracks to look into his eyes before the camera circled around the pair. . .

. . .

. . .to reveal their interrupter was Stan Marsh!

"...not if I have anything to say about it." Stan said with a look of determination on his face.

"Oh, it's a-you. . .Stan a-Marsh." Mario said, ". . .move aside, I may be the Champion of a-Life, but I am in a-no mood for banter."

"I didn't come here for that. . ." Stan insisted.

"Oh, so it's an AMBUSH, you want, HUH?" Spongebob growled. "So, where are they? Where are your OTHER two friends hiding?"

"They're not here, dude. They just left." Stan stated, matter-of-factly.

"You're not a-lying to me, are you?" Mario asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hell no." replied Stan. "We were supposed to fight Ren and Stimpy tonight, but the new main event didn't leave enough time for the match. It got bumped to next week, so Kyle and Kenny didn't want to stick around. And they're gonna be the ones representing the South Park Four in tag team matches from here on out. Because the truth is. . .I learned something last night."

All of a sudden, delicate and light-hearted piano played in the background, to a confused look from Mario, while Spongebob looked around the room curious as to where the music was coming from.

"You see, the longer I spent trying to lead my faction's fight against the Knighthood, the more I caught in a circle of doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result. I'll always be a member of South Park Four, but if we're gonna be a great unit, it's best for us to branch out and try something different! Then when we pursue the Tag Team titles together again, we'll be a stronger unit than ever!"

The delicate piano stopped once Stan took a few steps closer to the Champion of Life.

"So, while Kyle and Kenny are learning how to team together, I'm gonna do some fighting on my own. . ." said the South Park Leader, ". . .starting by answering your open challenge next week. I hope you're ready for a fight. . .because you're gonna GET ONE. What do you say to that?"

Mario took a couple steps closer toward Stan, furrowing his brow as he looked into Stan's eyes.

"I say. . .I'm a-ready!" Mario said, staring down Stan. . .

. . .

. . .who comedically snapped into a tone of excitement with, "Great! Say hi to Peach for me."

The camera turned to show Stan leaving the scene, passing a frog plushie sticking out of a pallet on the left side of frame, until it focused back on Mario and Spongebob looking in his direction.

"Gosh. . .there's no rest for the weary, huh, buddy?" Spongebob asked.

"When you're right, you're right. . ." Mario responded, before he put his arm around Spongebob's shoulders, cueing the two Kings of Greatness to continue walking down the hallway.

---

"So tell me, Spongebob, what exactly do they serve at a-Weenie Hut Jr.'s?" Mario asked, before the show transitioned back to the arena. . .

. . .

. . .which was immediately plunged into total darkness. . .

. . .

. . .followed by an ominous gong.

After this, the fans EXPLODED into boos, because they knew full well who was coming out to the ring. . .

. . .but the gong rang for a second time. . .

. . .

. . .then a third. . .

. . .

. . .and a fourth. . .

. . .

. . .followed by a fifth, which served as the opening sound for "Along The Way" by Mushroomhead, upon which, blue flames erupted upward on the left and right sides of the stage, and even along both sides of the ramp! The show then cut to a roaming shot as the camera pushed up the stage to reveal blue slits of a visor illuminating the darkness of the space underneath the titantron. . .

. . .

. . .before the man wearing said visor stepped onto the stage, revealing himself to be "The Knighthood Leader" Hotsuma. He glared down the ramp at the ring, which was decorated with a steel podium and a Reuben Oriental black and gray area rug, and nodded in approval.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. . .THE KNIGHTHOOOOOOOOOOD OF ASSASSIIIIIIIIIIIINS!"

After the flames along both sides of the ramp died down, Hotsuma led Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Solid Snake, Sweet Tooth, Jack Torrance, Parker Crane, Daffy Duck, as well as surprise guests Bayonetta and Jeanne, down it at a slow, leisurely pace, as the crowd was unrelenting with their distaste and disgust for the insidious faction with vehement boos and vulgar chants.

"We're back live on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen. . .and if it were any other segment, I'd be excited to tell you that. . ." Frylock foreboded, ". . .but right now, we're about to see what could possibly be the saddest display in the history of this company. The Knighthood of Assassins, led by their leader and founder Hotsuma, are about to induct Bugs Bunny, into their unit. . .and I shudder to think of what they have in store for the Animation Icon. They've harassed him, assaulted him, and psychologically manipulated him ever since their unification here in XCW, and after he lost to Daffy Duck last night in their grueling 'I Quit' match at Abolishment, who knows what kind of mindset Bugs will be in as he's forced to start a new life with this monstrous, despicable unit!"

"Bugs brought this on himself, Frylock!" Shake insisted, as the Knighthood filed into the ring and stood in front of the podium in two lines of four, while Hotsuma did the cut throat taunt toward the fans, who CONTINUED to boo the Knighthood Leader. "He wasn't ready for the new and improved Daffy Duck! Fiction wrestling's first heel reinvented himself as a dangerous and ruthless competitor, and unlike his rabbit rival, he hasn't let old age stop him! And this is in NO WAY, shape or form the saddest moment in all of Monday Night Massacre; because the Knighthood of Assassins are riding high right now! They won ALL three of their matches last night at Abolishment, from Scorpion and Sub-Zero's successful tag title defense against The Wild Dudes, and Hotsuma led the faction to victory against the South Park Three and Ren and Stimpy. But neither of those are bigger than Daffy making Bugs say 'I Quit', and forcing him to join their ranks in the Knighthood of Assassins! I can't wait to see how this unique induction ceremony plays out, no matter what these idiot fans think!"

The Knighthood's entrance music died down, further DEAFENING the arena with a chorus of boos as Hotsuma stood at the podium, facing his fellow Assassins with a stoic look underneath his visor.

"Brothers. . .sisters. . .allies of the Knighthood. . .we are gathered here tonight for a glorious occasion." Hotsuma said into the microphone at the podium

"It is one with a cause for recognition. . .a cause for celebration. . .and ultimately. . .coronation. Before we get to the main reason why we're here. . .you all must be commended for your successful efforts in our undefeated night of combat at the Abolishment pay-per-view. First-"

Hotsuma stopped to listen to a growing chant of, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" from the sold-out crowd.

"-pay these commoners no mind, my fellow Assassins. . ." addressed Hotsuma, ". . .they are envious of our growing numbers. . .our growing success. . .and our growing power. As I was saying:

Brother Hanso. . .Brother Kuai. . .after months of listening to the Wild Dudes and their home faction run their mouths about you two and your fellow Kombatants. . .you two silenced their revolution and defeated them DECISIVELY. . .keeping the XCW Tag Team Championships around your waists and in our possession. You two continue to make me proud."

Scorpion and Sub-Zero nodded in acknowledgement, humbled by their leader's words.

"Brother Needles. . .Brother Jack. . .Brother Snake. . .and our Honorary Assassin Parker Crane. . ." continued Hotsuma, ". . .you four assisted me brutally and relentlessly as we finally vanquished the remaining members of the South Park Four. . .if they have any intelligence left in their bodies, they know now to NEVER cross us again. It was through your strength, resilience and adherence to the Knighthood's Code of Combat that we were able to make history and be the winners in this company's first-ever Abolishment Elimination Tag Team Match. Victory could not have been achieved without your efforts."

Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake, and Parker nodded gratefully, while Jack Torrance looked on with a sadistic smile on his face.

"But let me assure each and every one of you," Hotsuma stated, gesturing toward Jeanne and Bayonetta, who were in the back of the ring, behind all the other Assassins in ornate chairs, ". . .as well as our guests of honor from AEW: Fiction, Jeanne. . .and my beloved Cereza. . .that our conquest of this company AND this business has only reached its first peak!"

Bayonetta smiled upon hearing Hotsuma's words, looking at him with a confident smirk.

"Yes, my guests, friends, and brothers. . .this is just the beginning. . .because let me tell you all what my vision is for our Knighthood. . ." foreboded Hotsuma, ". . .I want us to CONTINUE to grow in our numbers. A week from now, Brother Jack will be wrestling in Liberty City for our employer's developmental territory. There, he will spread our message, decimate the competition there with the same honor he did last night. . .and recruit any of this company's newcomers to our faction that he sees fit. I already have word that his eyes are on someone yet to have her first match. . .but he already sees great potential in her. Yes, my brothers and allies, we are adding a woman to our ranks. . .because another vision I have for the Knighthood of Assassins. . .sees us all wearing GOLD. We have already started our conquest for it, having won the Tag Team Championships. . .and the Hardcore Championship on more than one occasion. We may not have it now, but it WILL be in our grasp in the near future. . .

. . .as will the Women's Championship. . .

. . .the Television Championship. . .

. . .the LCW Championship. . .

. . .the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .

. .. and ANY cross-promotional title that we set our sights on. . .because the ENTIRE world does not have the STRENGTH to fend us off! We fight with CUNNING. . .we fight with BRUTALITY. . .we fight with HONOR. . .AMONG. . .ASSASSINS. . .and it is WITH THAT HONOR, THE GLORY OF VICTORY. . .and the INFLUENCE that comes with title after title that we shall RULE XCW. . .AND the ENTIRE FICTION WRESTLING WORLD!"

The crowd ERUPTED with boos upon hearing Hotsuma's declaration.

"And this all starts. . .at Ecstasy of Gold. . ." Hotsuma declared, ". . .because Brother Hanso. . .Kuai. . .Needles. . .and my Strategist. . .all of you, and tonight's inductee. . .will ALL compete in the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal. No matter which of you wins. . .you will represent the Knighthood proudly and dangerously. I myself, will NOT participate. . .because I have another. . .particular goal in mind for that night. . .but the men I intend to confront will see for themselves at a later time. Because RIGHT NOW. . .it is time to make ONE more acknowledgement. . .

. . .

. . .and that is to YOU, my Strategist. . ."

The crowd CONTINUED to rain boos as Daffy watched Hotsuma motion for him to stand up with his hand before rising to a vertical base.

". . .you scored the most important victory out of all of us Assassins last night," commended Hotsuma. "After almost eighty years of being the foil underneath your lifelong rival. . .you achieved your vengeance. . .you lifted the proverbial weight off your shoulders. . .and you dropped it onto your enemy's face. You are now vindicated after a lifetime, a LEGACY of misery. . .and are more than ready to make the wrestling and entertainment worlds at large fall to its knees. You share the same excitement to make everyone in this company and business wish they treated you better as we all do. . .and it was that excitement, that never say die attitude. . .that honor. . .that propelled you to victory. You single-handedly brought us. . .the missing link between us and ultimate glory. While I follow my own pursuits, it will be THIS man that will lead our chase for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. He has craved it since this company's inception. . .and it will be our brotherhood that helps him finally CLAIM it for HIMSELF. So, brothers, guests of honor, ignorant commoners. . .it is an HONOR. . .and a PRIVILEGE for me to introduce to you all the reason why we're all here tonight. . .

. . .

. . .the man soon to be inducted into the Knighthood of Assassins. . .

. . .

. . .your beloved FORMER 'Animation Icon'. . .

. . .

. . .BUGS. . .

. . .

. . .BUNNY."

Hotsuma turned to point at the stage with a commanding expression under his visor before the following words rang throughout the arena. . .

. . .

"WHAT'S UP, DOC?"

"Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd. . .but The Animation Icon stepped onto the stage with a solemn look on his face. He scanned the fans who gave him the same warm, explosive welcome that he had always received since arriving to XCW, taking in the sights and sounds in for several beats, before letting out a sigh and trudging down the ramp.

"Well, there is the condemned Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny, Shake. . ." Frylock observed, ". . .I don't blame him for looking like he does right now. . .but what the hell did Hotsuma mean when he said FORMER Animation Icon? No matter what happens to him from here on out, Bugs has still left behind almost eighty years of timeless classic cartoons, adventures and wrestling matches!"

Bugs stepped onto the apron and climbed up to the top rope, flexing his biceps for the fans with a small smile on his face, as that was all he could muster.

"It's out with the old, in with the new, Frylock!" Shake answered. "Time for Bugs to put the past behind him, and that includes the monocle of Animation Icon! That title belongs to DAFFY now, as far as I'm concerned!"

". . .that's moniker, Shake. . ." Frylock deadpanned, as Bugs stepped off the turnbuckle. . .

. . .

. . .and saw Hotsuma motioning for him to step toward the podium. Bugs's smile was quick to fall upon seeing the gesture in his direction, but with a heave of his shoulders, the Animation Icon reluctantly stepped toward Hotsuma, standing across from him in front of the podium.

"Bugs Bunny. . .I hope you enjoyed that moment. . .those sounds. . .and that feeling. . .because you and all of your adoring public have experienced that for the FINAL TIME." Hotsuma declared. "No more will you hear that entrance music. . .no more will you gesture to the fans as you just did. . .because after tonight, you are an Icon no more. . .and an ASSASSIN. . .for life. Before we formally induct you into the Knighthood. . .you have the floor to say any last words to your followers. . ."

Hotsuma stepped to the side of the podium, allowing Bugs to stand at the microphone and look out at the fans as they chanted, "NO, BUGS! NO! NO BUGS! NO!"

"Eh. . .what's up, Doc. . .?" Bugs asked into the microphone. ". . .look, buds, I gotta level with ya. . .I gave it all I got against Daffy last night. . .but it just wasn't enough. Now I gotta pay the piper. . .but don't worry about me. You may see me do some crazy things with these maroons. . .you may see them do horrible, heinous things to me. . .but no matter what I do. . .I'm gonna fight my way out of it. All I can do is take this experience one day at a time. It'll be slow and most likely painful...but I will NOT let my role in the Knighthood be the thing that defines my legacy. . .and I don't want ya to do the same. Define me by my past. . .my wits, my patience. . .and cleverness. All those will get me to where I want to go. . .and help me achieve what I wanna achieve. Thanks for being here with me for almost eighty years. . .and I hope for you all to be here for as long as I'm with the Knighthood. Thank ya. . ."

Bugs stepped away from the podium, his eyes clearly glassy with tears starting to form in his eyes, but Hotsuma elected to stand in front of the podium with a handheld microphone, staring down the Animation Icon with a stoic glare.

"Assassins of the Knighthood. . .kneel." Hotsuma said, as Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Daffy Duck, Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake, Jack Torrance and Parker Crane all got down on one knee, bowing their heads, leaving the Knighthood Leader and Bugs to be the only men standing in the center of them.

"Bugs. . .kneel." Hotsuma demanded, unsheathing his Akujiki blade.

The Animation Icon gulped, before taking a microphone of his own and reluctantly kneeling before Hotsuma, who held it by its handle, pointing the blade at the mat before him.

"Amusing thinking. . ." Hotsuma said, ". . .too bad it's merely wishful. Now then. . .as an Assassin of our Knighthood, you will take up the moniker. . .of the Hyraxian Assassin." Hotsuma ordered. "You will compete for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship in my stead. You will compete in the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal alongside your Knighthood brethren. You will share the ring with your Knighthood brethren in any contest I deem necessary for your skillset, and any contest I please. Do you comply?"

". . .I do comply." Bugs said, with a slow nod.

"Outside of the squared circle, you will serve us with any task we deem fit for you to accomplish, and live in your assigned quarters in our fortress in the Riverlands of Westeros. Should you attempt to escape our fortress at any point, you will be court martialed and tried for treason, which is punishable by execution. Do you comply?" Hotsuma wondered.

". . .I do comply. . ." Bugs responded, not giving Hotsuma any eye contact.

"Should you cost us victories in any battles going forward, you will receive a punishment in varying degrees of severity, which are dependent on the ramifications of what the Knighthood stands to lose upon said defeat. Failure to complete any task that we assign you shall result in varying degrees of severity. Do you comply?" Hotsuma posited.

". . .I do comply." Bugs confirmed.

"Contact with the world outside the Riverlands of Westeros is prohibited, unless we are attending or hosting a gathering with the public. Any discovered contact with the world outside the Riverlands of Westeros will result in punishment in varying degrees of severity. Do you comply?" questioned Hotsuma.

". . .I do comply. . ." Bugs assured.

"Only victories in the realms of organized combat, internal servitude and war will lessen the severity of any punishments you are due to receive, and better your standings and position inside our Knighthood. Do you comply?" Hotsuma queried, after which, the Animation Icon finally looked up at Hotsuma to say. . .

". . .I do comply."

Hotsuma nodded. "I now ask you. . .to repeat after us. . .as we recite the Knighthood's Code of Combat."

Bugs watched Hotsuma knock on the podium three times, as if to give his fellow Assassins the cue to start the recitation.

"Honor among assassins, thou use to fight. . ." the Assassins said in an ominous unison.

"Honor among assassins, thou use to fight. . ." repeated Bugs.

"Thy brothers leave thy foe to feel just thy might. . ." recited the Assassins.

"Thy brothers leave thy foe to feel just thy might. . ." Bugs repeated.

"In Knighthood, thou carry our kindred strength. . ." spoke the Assassins.

"In Knighthood, thou carry our kindred strength. . ." said Bugs.

"Aim to kill one's target, for all battle's length. . ." quoted the Assassins.

"Aim to kill one's target, for all battle's length. . ." Bugs stated.

"Never retreat. . .never surrender. . ." delivered the Assassins.

"Never retreat, never surrender. . ." Bugs repeated.

"Unleash thy inner animal and thy hunter. . ." chanted the Assassins.

"Unleash thy inner animal and thy hunter. . ." Bugs said.

"Break this code, and you will feel our passions. . ." intoned the Assassins.

"Break this code, and you will feel our passions. . ." Bugs recited.

". . .for combat. . .as we are now and forever Assassins." finished the Knighthood.

". . .for combat. . .as we are now and forever Assassins." Bugs finished.

The crowd EXPLODED with boos as Hotsuma raised his Akujiki blade. . .

. . .

. . .and tapped the flat side of it against Bugs's left shoulder. . .

. . .

. . .followed by his right shoulder.

"Brothers and sisters. . .I bestow upon you. . .our newest member, BUGS BUNNY!" Hotsuma triumphantly announced. "An Icon No More. . .

. . .

. . .and an Assassin For Life!"

Bugs slowly but dejectedly rose to a standing position, as Hotsuma raised his arm up in victory.

"Before we draw this Knighting Ceremony to a close, Bugs. . .allow me to personally initiate you. . .

. . .

. . .with a small taste of what you face. . .

. . .

. . .if you don't live up to your compliance. . ."

Hotsuma then dropped the microphone. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED BUGS FACE FIRST ONTO DAFFY'S OPEN KNEE WITH AN AKUJIKI!

"OH MY GOD!" Frylock exclaimed, as Daffy looked down at his eternal rival with a sadistic but satisfied smile before he, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Solid Snake, Sweet Tooth, Jack, and Parker raised their fists to meet in the center high above their heads. Bayonetta applauded from her place in the ring while Jeanne feigned applause, and Bugs remained motionless in the center of the ring.

The Knighthood exclaimed "HONOR! AMONG ASSASSINS!" in their victory formation before the show transitioned to a commercial break.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Nami stood in the interview area with Mimi Tachikawa, who had a microphone in hand.

"Nami, last night at Abolishment, Peach issued you a challenge to face her in a one-on-one match at XCW's first-ever all-women's pay-per-view event, Equal Pain." Mimi informed. "Do you have a response to her after that as well as her assault on you a month ago?"

"You know, it's funny how this all began. Because she couldn't tell the difference between me and Sora all in her fit of rage over losing." Nami rolled her eyes. "But you know...that just screams Peach, doesn't it? Always bragging about herself to the world, then whining when she doesn't get her way. No matter what happens, she does this over and over again. And you know what, I'm pretty sick of it. It's time someone did something about it. She wants to challenge me? Fine, she's got exactly what she wanted. I accept her challenge, I'll take her on. But I hope she realizes that this isn't going to be one of her victory parades. Because I'm a pirate and a thief after all. And we tend to take what we want. So be careful what you ask for, Princess." Nami winked towards the camera. "You might come to regret it."

With a prideful smile, Nami quickly turned around, whipping her long, orange hair with the movement for conceited effect before striding out of the interview area, allowing the show to transition back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

---

"The following contest is a Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament Quarterfinal match scheduled for one fall!"

After Carl's announcement, a Disney-themed 'Disnevolution' logo appeared on the titantron, and 'Sickness and Sorrow' by The Champagne Charade played, prompting Snow White to step onto the stage with Merida and Rapunzel flanking a side of her. Merida looked down the ramp at the ring with a focused, stern expression while Rapunzel tossed her ankle-length braided hair behind her back to shout at the crowd and raise her arms high above her head in confidence, while Snow White splayed her arms at her sides to show off her clients to boos from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .being accompanied to the ring by Snow White. . .the team of Merida. . .and Rapunzel. . .DISNEVOLUUUUUTIOOOOOOOOON!"

"This match at first took place a month ago to this date on the Shockwave fallout edition of Monday Night Massacre." Frylock informed. "All was going well until the Bullet Club, Mary Jane Watson and Felicia Hardy, wanted to make their debut in surprising fashion, and they did just that by interfering and assaulting both the Women of Marvel and Disnevolution! But XCW Commissioner Space Ghost saw that, and declared there HAD to be a winner, and there was no better way than for their rematch to take place in the quarterfinals of the tournament that will crown XCW's first-ever Women's Tag Team Champions? The stakes are high in this rematch, and there HAS to be a winner!"

Snow White led Merida and Rapunzel down the ramp and the two women slid into the ring, where Rapunzel stood on a turnbuckle punching her chest in confidence while yelling at the crowd, as Merida stood on the bottom rope in the center of the ring and raised a hand sign.

"Can they just get double DQed and give whoever wins their match next week a first-round bye?" Shake wondered. "After the way Yuna and Rikku won their "battle" earlier tonight, the last thing I wanna see is another women's tag team match! I don't care WHO'S managing Disnevolution, because Snow White only wrestled for an entire Four Loko in the National Wrestling Alliance! What the hell makes her qualified to manage a team of "up-and-comers"? On that note, it doesn't matter where these two or ANY of the Disney princesses came from, because their wealth and royalty ain't gonna make me forget about the fact that they're dainty, weak, narcissistic TWIGS that belong in the goddamn KITCHEN serving up food for Prince Goddamn Charming!"

"Paradise City" by Guns 'n' Roses then played, and Wasp and Jean Grey strutted onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, and the Original Avenger waved to the fans on each side of the stage while Jean made an 'X' over her chest with her arms.

"And their opponents. . .the team of Jean Grey. . .and 'The Original Avenger' Wasp. . .they are. . .the WOMEEEEEEN OOOOOOOOF MAAAAARVEEEEEEEEL!"

"Shake, I don't expect you have any good things to say about their opponents tonight, but nevertheless, Wasp and Jean Grey are an official tag team unit here in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and there's something at stake for both these Women of Marvel not only in this tournament, but also in their own personal endeavors!" Frylock informed. "After working herself back into her X-Men Evolution shape, Jean Grey wants to prove it was worth doing by starting her wrestling comeback on the right foot, while Wasp wants to build momentum on her way to Equal Pain, where she will face the current XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi, in what will not only be a dream match between the Ace of Women's Wrestling and the Original Avenger, but also one of a DOUBLE main event for our first-ever all-women's pay-per-view!"

Wasp strode down the ramp with a spring in her step, high-fiving fans lined up along the barricade along the way as Jean ran alongside her, then the two slid into the ring. The Original Avenger posed on a turnbuckle while Jean stepped onto the opposite turnbuckle, flipping her hair and exclaiming, "THIS IS OUR TIME!" to the fans in happy triumph.

"You mean to tell me that Wasp just got a shot at the Women's Championship just like THAT?" Shake exclaimed. "Gimme a freakin' break! So all I gotta do to get a title shot or a promotion is to be incompetent and get my neck broken by ANOTHER incompetent wrestler, and lay in an operating room for two decades until I'm medically cleared to fight? I just might take you up on that idea, because it beats sitting at this desk every week next to YOU and watching these mail order brides in the making slap each other across the face until one of 'em breaks a nail!"

The bell rang and the match began with Jean Grey squaring off against Merida. The two strafed around the ring in a circle until they met in the center of the ring in a tie-up, which Merida fought out of holding Jean Grey in a wrist-lock. She wrenched on Jean Grey's arm until she maneuvered toward her back and grabbed her other arm, bringing her to her knees with a kick to her back, then pressing her foot HARD against her back while pulling on her arms from behind! Jean Grey winced in pain from the submission maneuver until she flipped Merida over with her arms, causing the DunBroch Princess to land on her feet in front of her. Merida ran against the ropes behind her only for Jean Grey to hit her in the face with a three-punch combination after the bounceback, then take her down with a scoop slam! Jean went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Merida kicked out! Jean then pulled the DunBroch Princess up by the arm and hit her in the back with a series of short-arm shoulder blocks, then followed it up with a short-arm clothesline! Jean then ran against the ropes and landed a leg drop across Merida's chest! Jean went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Merida kicked out!

Jean then gripped Merida by the hair and started to pull her up by it. . .only for the DunBroch Princess to latch onto Jean's arm, wagging a finger with disapproval before saying, "NOBODY. TOUCHES. MY MANE." in a stern tone before headbutting Jean right between the eyes! Jean reeled backward against the ropes until Merida hit her in the gut with a kick before lifting her up and dropping her with a forward suplex onto the top rope. . .only for Merida to keep her grip and lift her BACK UP to drop her in the center of the ring with a spinning vertical suplex neckbreaker! Merida then landed a series of VICIOUS stomps across the face of Jean before running against the ropes and landing a falling elbow drop to Jean's face! Merida went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Jean kicked out! Merida then pulled Jean up by the hair and slugged her with an uppercut that sent Jean reeling into a nearby corner. Merida then landed a corner clothesline against Jean that sent her falling to a seated position, only for Merida to pull Jean back up to her feet and drop her in the center of the ring with a running sidewalk slam! Merida went for another cover, hooking both legs 1. . .2. . .Jean kicked out!

"Merida's fighting with all kinds of strength and tenacity in the early goings, but Jean isn't giving up without a fight!" Frylock called. "How will she respond?"

"By tapping out, if she knows what's good for her." Shake responded. "Think about it, if Wasp breaks her neck again, Jean would have some responsibility for it!"

Merida then stood up with an annoyed grimace on her face before dragging Jean by the hair toward her corner and tagging in Rapunzel, who stepped on Jean's hair while Merida pulled her up by the arms!

"DEAR LORD!" cringed Frylock. "This duo of Rapunzel and Merida is inflicting a unique sort of pain on Jean Grey! They're looking to scalp her of her own ruby red locks and make it hurt like hell!"

"PULL HARDER, MERIDA! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!" called Shake, as the referee ordered Merida back to her corner, but the DunBroch Princess refused, continuing to pull Jean up as Rapunzel remained standing on her hair so Merida could pull on her with relentless force! The referee had no choice but to start a five-count, and Merida finally let go of the hold once it reached four. After she stepped back onto the apron, Rapunzel pulled Jean up by the hair and whipped her into her corner, back-first. Rapunzel then hit Jean with a series of kicks and thrusts to the gut until she fell into a seated position. This gave Merida the go-ahead to enter the ring and join her tag team partner on a double teaming series of vicious mudhole stomps! The referee stepped toward Merida and ordered her back to her corner, but the DunBroch Princess mouthed off in response to it. . .

. . .

. . .until Wasp caught her by the arm and took her down with a belly-to-belly side slam!

"But here comes The Original Avenger to make the save for her tag team partner!" Frylock called, as Jean Grey fought back with right and left hands to Rapunzel's face! Wasp then pulled Merida up to a standing position and went for a knife-edged chop, only for Merida to block it and follow it up with another headbutt! Merida then Irish whipped Wasp, only for the Original Avenger to counter it with an Irish whip of her own that sent Merida over the ropes, but she was quick to land on the apron with her two feet-

-before Wasp took her down with a tope suicida spear! Meanwhile, Jean and Rapunzel's brawl drove both of them into the center of the ring, where Rapunzel caught one of Jean's incoming fists and kicked her arm, causing Jean to yelp in pain! Rapunzel then threw Jean across the ring with an arm drag, then ran against the ropes in front of her for a sunset flip powerbomb. . .

. . .

. . .but before she could even get the move off, Jean sent her flying over the ropes and onto Merida on the outside with a back body drop! Meanwhile, Wasp slid into the ring and met Jean in the center of it to ask her if she was okay. Jean nodded in assurance before the two Marvel heroes ran against the ropes behind them. . .

. . .

. . .AND TOOK MERIDA AND RAPUNZEL DOWN WITH STEREO CORKSCREW SUICIDE DIVES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed. "Wasp and Jean Grey may be seasoned veterans in fiction wrestling, but they pull out all the stops when they have to, just as they did in that aerial assault!"

"They're gonna break their necks pulling that kinda crap, Frylock!" Shake snapped. "And I wanna see it HAPPEN! Come on, ladies! Get up and do it again!"

The fans had exploded into chants of, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" while Wasp and Jean Grey were slowly but surely pulling themselves up to a standing position, as Merida and Rapunzel were still down on the ringside floor.

"The Women of Marvel are in the driver's seat of this quarterfinal matchup in the Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament!" Frylock called. "But will they still be there by the time we get back from this restaurant-quality picture-in-picture? Don't go anywhere, ladies and gentlemen! We'll be right back after these messages!"

Wasp pulled Rapunzel up by an arm while Jean went after Merida, who fired off a right hand to her face upon reaching her feet until the show suddenly minimized to the top left corner of the TV screen to make room for a series of commercials, the first of which being a floating child's head over a black background bouncing back and forth from one side of the screen to the other, even when it turned into a skull as the following jingle started to go off.

Happy, Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

Happy, Happy Halloween

Silver Shamrock!

All throughout the jingle, the bouncing head was replaced by a bouncing jack-o-lantern, then a bouncing vampire head, then a bouncing skull head, until it cut to the Silver Shamrock Novelties logo. The jack-o-lantern head, the vampire head, and the skull head then appeared on-screen rocking from left to right to the beat of the ominous jingle for another verse until the following narrator spoke his lines under the bouncing jack-o-lantern head over black.

"It's almost time, ladies and gentlemen! The clock is ticking. Be in front of your TV sets for the Horrorthon on Halloween night! And do remember the big giveaway at 9! Don't miss it! And don't forget to wear your masks. . .the clock is ticking. It's almost time. . ."

The jack-o-lantern head, the vampire head, and the skull head then appeared on-screen rocking from left to right to the beat of the ominous jingle for one more verse.

Happy, Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

Happy, Happy Halloween

Silver Shamrock!

Happy, Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

Happy, Happy Halloween

Silver Shamrock!

On that final line, the commercial cut to a shot of the green Silver Shamrock logo over a black background.

"Silver Shamrock Novelties. . .an official sponsor of XCW Ecstasy of Gold."

The commercial then faded to black, only to come back up on a rockin guitar riff and a wide shot of the Tegridy Farms plot of land, into which Randy Marsh leapt into from the right side of frame.

"HEY, ladies and gentlemen! I'm Randy Marsh! Recently, I told you that Tegridy Farms has made a whopping $300,000 DOLLARS SELLING WEED!" exclaimed Randy, as the commercial cut to a shot of him making money angels with a massive amount of dollar bills on the floor of his interior office.

"It's been a 300-PALOOZA, and with all this money, I can buy anything and EVERYTHING I want. So you know what I've done with it? BOUGHT PODCAST EQUIPMENT!"

"How many weed farmers do you know that not only watch wrestling in their spare time, but also have a PODCAST? A lot, right? But how many weed farmers do you know that watch wrestling in their spare time, but also have a podcast co-hosted with HOMER FREAKIN' SIMPSON? That's right, I, Randy Marsh, am co-hosting Drinking Buddies: a brand new wrestling podcast with CWF and FWE wrestling legend Homer Simpson, and we're gonna talk about all the goings-on in fiction wrestling together! We're gonna talk XCW, LCW, Animated, EVO, UCA, FWF, DFW, UIW, APEX, FUSION, ALL the indies and even CCW OZONE 50 if it ever finishes! We may even have a few surprise guests show up!"

"Uh, NO. Y-y-y-y-you're NOT." said a drunk Rick Sanchez laying on the couch behind him off-screen.

"Yeah, count me outta this." added BoJack Horseman. "What'd you do with my keys again, anyway?"

"What'd I tell ya?" Randy asked with a smile, completely ignoring the snark from his hungover guests. "Homer and I are gonna be chatting every Thursday night, with episodes going up on the Fanfiction Wrestling Podcast Network the morning after! So subscribe now and submit your fan questions to us at drinkingbuddies and we'll answer them on our first recording this THURSDAY!"

"Drinking Buddies: Who Else Would You Watch Wrestling With?" Randy asked under a graphic of the Drinking Buddies logo, until the ad faded to black, only to come up on a shot of the FWM City skyline.

"Let's face it. . .this world is an unpredictable place," said a female voice. "Between all the crime in the streets from threatening supervillains, reckless heroes, civil unrest and societal division, it can be hard to find a trustworthy perspective. Well, look no further! Presenting the Haines Broadcasting System: a new channel dedicated to giving you nothing but the facts from all sides of all the issues, from the finest and most talented newscasters in the industry. Finally, you have a true voice you can turn to when safety becomes necessary for you and your family."

"HBS: Your New Favorite News Network." concluded the narrator underneath a CGI graphic of the HBS logo, before the show transitioned back to the arena, where Merida had Jean Grey locked in a bow and arrow hold in the center of the ring!

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and this quarterfinal match between the veteran Women of Marvel and the new stars Disnevolution has been a back and forth battle centered around the teamwork of both units!" Frylock called. "During the break, while Wasp was the legal woman, The Original Avenger had resorted to pulling Rapunzel against her knee by her hair, so Jean Grey could follow it up with a slingshot leg drop! But Disnevolution would retaliate with more devastating double team maneuvers, like when Wasp Irish whipped Jean Grey across the ring in hopes of watching her land a crossbody onto both their opponents, but Merida not only threw her into their corner with a fallaway slam, she and Rapunzel also followed that up with what they called the Disney Device, which saw Merida set Jean Grey up on her shoulders so Rapunzel could take her down with a doomsday blockbuster, but Merida only got a two-count! Now the DunBroch Princess's frustration has reached a fever pitch, and she's looking to bend Jean's back until it breaks!"

"I hope it does, Frylock! Then she and Wasp will have something else in common!" Shake added.

"Oh, will you SHUT UP already?" asked Sora, who had a stern look on her face.

"And also during the break, the XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi, made her way to our announcer's table to join us in providing commentary for this match!" added Frylock. "Sora, thank you for coming out here, if I may ask for those who are just joining us, what brings you out for this matchup?"

"Just doing some scouting for Equal Pain when I can. . ." Sora responded, ". . .and trying to keep my mind off Abolishment last night…"

"We certainly hope nothing less than a speedy recovery for Tai during this time. . ." Frylock assured. ". . .just as we hope Jean Grey can find a way out of this submission maneuver! Will she tap out?"

Jean tried to thrash and flail her way out of the submission move, but to no avail as Merida only intensified the hold, screaming for her to tap in her trademark Scottish brogue! The referee knelt down and asked Jean if she wanted to quit, but Jean violently shook her head no, trying to reach for the ropes, but they were too far! Jean was wincing and crying in agonizing pain. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL SHE COUNTERED THE BOW AND ARROW INTO A CRUCIFIX ROLLUP PIN ATTEMPT!

"WAIT A MINUTE! JEAN WITH A SURPRISE ROLLUP!" Sora called, as the referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .MERIDA KICKED OUT! The DunBroch Princess made it up to her knees almost immediately and charged toward Jean Grey for a bicycle kick. . .

. . .

. . .but Jean nailed Merida in the chin with a running high knee! The Princess of DunBroch stumbled backward, but Jean was relentless as she charged toward Merida. . .

. . .

. . .TO TAKE HER DOWN WITH THE X-ECUTION!

"JEAN GREY JUST TOOK MERIDA DOWN DREAM STREET WITH THE X-ECUTION!" Frylock screamed. "BUT DOES THIS STREET LEAD TO THE SEMIFINALS OF OUR TOURNAMENT?"

Jean pulled Merida into the center of the ring before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .MERIDA KICKED OUT! Jean rolled off from the cover and started dragging herself toward Wasp, while Merida started crawling toward Rapunzel!

"This has been one hell of a match between two of the most promising young units in our growing women's tag team division!" Frylock called. "But only one of them can advance to the next round of our inaugural tournament to crown our first-ever XCW Women's Tag Team Champions! Will it be the Women of Marvel, Wasp and Jean Grey to fight in the semifinals in less than three weeks at Equal Pain, or will it be one of the many combinations of Disnevolution?"

"Hey Sora, how would you react if Wasp went into your match having to pull double or even TRIPLE duty? Shake wondered. "Do you think a woman can even FIGHT three matches in one night without crying over a broken nail?"

"I KNOW they can, because you know what?" Sora exclaimed, raising her voice. "Wasp IS a phenomenal athlete. She ALWAYS has been, even before her terrible neck injury! And she's worked HARDER to get back into the wrestling ring than you ever have in your entire LIFE. In fact, she's WORKED. What have you done besides be the most vehemently awful and lazy "superhero" in the world?"

"Your air quotes don't phase me, woman!" Shake responded. "I executive produced a movie, started a nuclear war and saved the world from an alien invasion! Check and friggin' MATE!"

"Shake, the Mooninites don't count." Frylock deadpanned, ". . .but what DOES count is who will be the first to make the tag!"

Indeed, Wasp was slapping the turnbuckle repeatedly, ramping up anticipation from the crowd as Jean Grey and Merida respectively crawled toward their corners. . .

. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .

. . .wormed toward their partners a little more. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE SUCCESSFULLY TAGGING IN WASP AND RAPUNZEL!

"HERE COME WASP AND RAPUNZEL!" Frylock shouted, as The Original Avenger and Rapunzel charged toward each other, with Wasp taking her down with a swift clothesline! Rapunzel then reeled up to a standing position only to be brought down with ANOTHER clothesline from Wasp! The Original Avenger then pulled Rapunzel up by the braid and went to toss her into a corner, but Rapunzel countered it into a waist lock and pulled her into the corner behind her. . .only for Wasp to hit her in the face with a haymaker and drop her onto her face in the center of the ring with a bulldog! The Original Avenger then ran into the opposite corner, knocking Merida off the apron with a baseball slide before pulling herself up to the middle rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND TAKING RAPUNZEL DOWN WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK! Wasp went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .RAPUNZEL KICKED OUT! Wasp then pulled Rapunzel up by her braid and went to slug her with a right hand, but Rapunzel pulled on her braid when it was still in Wasp's hand, causing The Original Avenger to bend over from the force, and allowing Rapunzel to hit Wasp in the face with a knee strike before taking her down with a neckbreaker! Rapunzel then ran toward the ropes, hitting them with a handspring before backflipping on the bounceback and GETTING CAUGHT IN A WAIST-LOCK BY WASP! The Original Avenger then threw Rapunzel backward for a German suplex. . .

. . .but Rapunzel landed her on feet behind Wasp! Rapunzel then went for a clothesline. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR WASP TO TAKE RAPUNZEL DOWN WITH A SPINEBUSTER! The Original Avenger then pointed at the top rope as the fans exploded with cheers, prompting Wasp to climb up to the top rope!

"After that unbelievable counter and show of strength from The Original Avenger, Wasp is looking to go for a high-risk maneuver! It is simply remarkable to watch Wasp fight at this high a level!" Frylock said.

"Reality's gonna set in for Wasp eventually!" Shake declared. "If Wasp doesn't break her neck doing flippy shit, Sora will do it at Equal Pain, won't ya?"

"I only want to BEAT Wasp at Equal Pain, not kill her." Sora deadpanned. "Who do you think I am, Casey?"

"Speaking of which, where is Punk Rocker Barbie tonight?" Shake wondered.

"She probably has a concert or something, like I care." Sora responded.

"But someone that DOES have something to care about is Wasp, and the fans are more than ready to see what she pulls off right here and right now from the top rope!" Frylock said, as Wasp sized Rapunzel up. . .

. . .

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDING THE MOONSAULT ON TOP OF RAPUNZEL!

"THE MOONSAULT CONNECTS!" Frylock called. "WILL THAT WIN THE MATCH FOR THE WOMEN OF MARVEL?"

Wasp rose upward from the impact slightly, clenching her abdomen from the impact before going for a cover, hooking Rapunzel's leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 RAPUNZEL KICKED OUT! WASP COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

"NOOOOOOO! RAPUNZEL JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock exclaimed, as Wasp rose up to her knees, pulling Rapunzel up to a seated position by her braid. Wasp then pulled Rapunzel up with the intent of whipping her back down with a side headlock takedown, but Rapunzel countered it into a back suplex! Rapunzel then ran against the ropes in front of her and bounced off the opposite side until Wasp made it to her knees, only for Rapunzel to knock her in the chin with a running knee strike! Rapunzel then kipped up to see Wasp dragging herself toward the ropes to pull herself up to a standing position. . .only for Rapunzel to pull her up by her collar and drop her with a Jawbreaker that sent Wasp reeling against the ropes. Rapunzel then went for a clothesline, but Wasp kicked her in the face and sent her reeling into the center of the ring! Wasp then stepped over the second rope and sized Rapunzel up before leaping onto the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .then jumped off the rope for a springboard uppercut. . .

. . .

. . .BUT RAPUNZEL CAUGHT HER AND DROPPED HER WITH A FIREMAN'S CARRY ACE CRUSHER!

"RAPUNZEL JUST HIT WASP WITH A DEVASTATING MANEUVER!" Frylock called. "But Wasp isn't going down to one of XCW's most recent call-ups without a fight!"

Rapunzel then pulled Wasp up to a standing position and wrapped her braid around her neck, choking out The Original Avenger in a Sleeper Hold!

"Geez, first Merida got on Wasp and Jean's case for grabbing her hair, now Rapunzel's using hers as a weapon. . .I've never seen a team care about their hair as much as these Disnevolution!" Sora observed.

"I spoke to their manager Snow White about her stable before the show went on the air, and she informed me that there are four things that make a princess a Disney Princess," Frylock informed, ". . .and those are a beautiful singing voice, an elegant dress, a position of supreme royalty, and long, luxurious manes of hair! Rapunzel and Merida care as deeply about their locks as Anna and Moana do, and go to innovative ways to use it by means of victory throughout their in-ring endeavors!"

"Please, if these princesses care so much about how they look, what's the point of them ever stepping into a wrasslin' ring?" snapped Shake, as Wasp wheezed for breath while trying to step toward the ropes until the referee stepped in and ordered Rapunzel to stop using her hair as a weapon. But Rapunzel was relentless, as she drove The Original Avenger chest-first into a nearby corner, prompting the referee to begin a five-count! Rapunzel finally loosened her hair around Wasp's neck once the referee's count reached four, then raised her braid up with a free hand, twirling it as she flashed a smug smirk to the crowd vehement with boos toward herself and Merida. Rapunzel then turned around to see Wasp pulling herself up with the ring ropes. . .until she dropped her from behind with a reverse DDT! Rapunzel then stood up and went for the cover. . .

. . .

. . .or, she WOULD HAVE, if she didn't stop to turn toward Merida and Snow White, who were respectively shouting "BREAK HER BLOODY NECK!" and "END HER, RAPS!"

"They care about each other as well, Shake. . ." Frylock added, ". . .but less so for their opponents!"

"Snow White and Merida don't just want Rapunzel to end the match. . .they want her to end Wasp's career!" Sora exclaimed.

"DO IT, RAPUNZEL!" demanded Shake. "So I can get a drink from catering!"

A small smirk formed on Rapunzel's face before she pulled Wasp up. . .

. . .

. . .set her against her back. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER ON HER HEAD WITH A CRADLE PILEDRIVER!

"HAHAHAHAHA! SHE DID IT! SHE FREAKIN' DID IT, FRYLOCK!" Shake yelled. "SORRY, SORA, BUT YOU AIN'T GETTING YOUR DREAM MATCH!"

"RAPUNZEL DROPPED THE ORIGINAL AVENGER WASP ON HER NECK WITH THAT PILEDRIVER!" Frylock called. "WILL THAT BE ALL SHE WROTE FOR WASP'S COMEBACK?"

Rapunzel hooked both of Wasp's legs as she went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 WASP KICKED OUT!

"NO! WASP IS STILL ALIVE!" Frylock exclaimed.

"WASP STILL HAS A CHANCE!" Sora screamed.

"WASP CAN STILL MOVE?! DAMMIT!" shouted Shake, as Wasp's kickout had thrown Rapunzel face-first into a knelt position in the corner, while Wasp slowly but surely staggered up to her feet as the fans began to chant, "LET'S GO WASP! LET'S GO WASP!"

"The fans are on their feet as The Original Avenger gets to hers!" Frylock called, as Wasp pulled Rapunzel's leg up for a knee smash, only for Rapunzel to counter it with a spin around onto her back then send her reeling into the corner behind her with a kick to the face! Rapunzel then kipped up and ran toward Wasp for a running knee strike only for Wasp to spin out of the way and cause Rapunzel to hit the top turnbuckle face-first! Wasp then ran against the ropes in front of her and landed a jumping crossbody block across Rapunzel's body! Wasp went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .RAPUNZEL ROLLED THROUGH AND WILLED HERSELF UP TO A STANDING POSITION WITH WASP IN HER ARMS! Rapunzel then tried to pull Wasp onto one of her shoulders for a running powerslam. . .

. . .

. . .BUT WASP COUNTERED IT INTO A ONE-ARMED NECKBREAKER SLAM!

"WASP WITH THE REVERSAL!" Frylock exclaimed. "RAPUNZEL MAY BE FAST, BUT SHE'S NOT AS STRONG AS MERIDA! WILL THAT MISTAKE COST DISNEVOLUTION?"

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel. . .DON'T LET ME DOWN." groaned Shake. "At least less than this women's division has already."

"WASP HAS RAPUNZEL DOWN FOR THE COUNT!" Sora shouted, as Wasp went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .RAPUNZEL KICKED OUT! Wasp punched the mat in frustration!

"RAPUNZEL STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" Frylock yelled. "And Wasp does not like that one bit!"

"Well, she needs to FIGHT BETTER if she wants to put her away, or go back to the retirement home!" Shake snapped, as Wasp pulled Rapunzel up by the arm and twisted her into a wrist-lock only for Rapunzel to knock her arm off her grasp with a back kick, then whip her down with a hip toss! Rapunzel then pulled her back up only for Wasp to drive her back-first into the corner with a tackle! Wasp then went for a gutwrench suplex and took Rapunzel down with one before rolling through and lifting her again. . .

. . .

. . .but Rapunzel caught her off-guard with a Jawbreaker! Rapunzel then slugged Wasp in the chin with a European uppercut, only for Wasp to strike back with a Roundhouse Kick!

"Wasp landed that Roundhouse Kick as a sudden reaction!" Sora observed. "She's running on fumes and pure adrenaline right now!"

"If that's the case, it's time for Gramma to be put to bed. . .or to SLEEP. Whichever's fitting." Shake quipped, as Rapunzel reeled against the ropes behind her from the impact, avoiding another strike from Wasp by spinning out of the Original Avenger's path and pulling down on the top rope to send her onto the ring apron! Wasp landed on the apron with her two feet and was met by a right hand from Rapunzel, who then lifted Wasp off her feet with a suplex. . .

. . .

. . .then stepped back into the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR WASP TO DROP TO HER FEET AND TAKE RAPUNZEL DOWN WITH A SWINGING SNAP DDT!

"WASP WITH ANOTHER DEVASTATING COUNTER!" Frylock called. "RAPUNZEL TOOK TOO MUCH TIME AGAIN!"

"And Merida is NOT having it!" Sora observed, as the match cut to Merida on the apron shouting, "YOU'VE GOT TO DROP HER AS SOON AS YOU'VE GOT 'ER, GIRL!"

"This is why we have a performance center!" Shake yelled. "But no matter how much training these women go through, they're always INCOMPETENT!"

"If there's anyone that's still remarkably competent after years of inactivity, it's The Original Avenger, Wasp!" Frylock declared. "Will she pick up the win here for herself and Jean Grey, advancing them into the next round of our Women's Tag Team Title Tournament?"

Wasp then turned Rapunzel onto her back before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .MERIDA BROKE UP THE COUNT! Wasp rose up from the cover and chased Merida, who stepped over the second rope onto the apron before the Original Avenger could catch her!

"The de facto leader of Disnevolution saved the match for herself and her tag team partner, much to the chagrin of Wasp!" Frylock said, as Wasp shouted "ALRIGHT THEN, YOU ASKED TO SEE THIS!" before stomping toward Rapunzel.

"Aw what's she gonna do?" Shake wondered. "Smear her friggin' makeup?"

Wasp then pulled Rapunzel up and stepped into the center of the ring for a vertical suplex brainbuster. . .

. . .

. . .BUT RAPUNZEL FELL IN FRONT OF HER, TAKING HER DOWN WITH STUNDOG MILLIONAIRE ON HER WAY DOWN! Wasp reeled against the ropes behind her, clenching her jaw in pain. Wasp then went for a kick to the midsection after relaxing for a beat, only for Rapunzel to catch it and whip her around 360 degrees. . .

. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO AN EXPLODER SUPLEX!

"RAPUNZEL JUST SENT WASP INTO THE CORNER WITH THAT EXPLODER SUPLEX!" Frylock screamed. "AND THE FALL BACK DOWN MAY HAVE HURT WASP'S SURGICALLY REPAIRED NECK!"

"Her doctors used frickin' CARDBOARD and GLUE TO put her neck back together, Frylock!" Shake declared, as Rapunzel pulled Wasp into the center of the ring by the arm before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .WASP KICKED OUT! Rapunzel pulled on her hair in frustration before pulling herself back up. . .

. . .

. . .AND LOCKING IN A CLOVERLEAF STRETCH MUFFLER!

"RAPUNZEL'S GOT WASP LOCKED INTO A SUBMISSION MANEUVER!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL SHE TAP OUT?"

"She's not going for the neck!" Sora observed. "That may cost her!"

"Please, if Rapunzel's like any blonde I know, making dumb moves like this one is par for the course." Shake said, as Rapunzel wrenched onto the hold, and Wasp screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked her if he wanted to quit. The Original Avenger shook her head no as Rapunzel let out a scream of intensity! Wasp inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .

. . .only for Rapunzel to transition out of the move, keeping both her legs up. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL SHE LAUNCHED WASP INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE FACE FIRST WITH A FLAPJACK THAT DROPPED HER ONTO THE MAT BACK-FIRST!

"Credit to Rapunzel for that athleticism!" Sora said, as Rapunzel hit Wasp with a jumping foot stomp on her way toward the corner.

"I hope she trips over that friggin braid and breaks her neck." Shake deadpanned, as Rapunzel leapt onto the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND LANDED A CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO WASP!

"WHAT A BEAUTIFUL HIGH-RISK MANEUVER FROM RAPUNZEL!" Frylock shouted. "WILL SHE ADVANCE HERSELF AND MERIDA TO THE SEMIFINALS?"

Rapunzel then went for the cover, hooking both legs! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 WASP KICKED OUT! Rapunzel slapped the mat and shrieked in frustration!

"Jeez, shatter my water glass, why don't ya?" Shake quipped, as Rapunzel pulled herself up to a standing position and stepped toward Snow White shouting, "GIMME MY FRYING PAN!"

"Rapunzel's looking to resort to drastic measures to achieve Disnevolution's first official victory here in XCW!" Frylock observed. "She's going for her trademark frying pan!"

"She's knocked out many women of JOSHI with that very weapon before making her way to XCW. . ." Sora informed, ". . .but doing that now will get her disqualified!"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Shake recited, ". . .or ME when I'm waiting for 'em to take their clothes off!"

Snow White gave Rapunzel her frying pan and she turned around with it reared back behind her head. . .

. . .

. . .but sure enough, the referee wrestled it out of her hands, causing Rapunzel to lose her temper and get in a shouting match with the official! The two continued arguing. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL WASP GRIPPED RAPUNZEL BY HER BRAID. . .

. . .

. . .AND USED IT TO DROP HER WITH A BRAID-AIDED WASP STING!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed, "WASP MAY HAVE BROKEN RAPUNZEL'S NECK USING RAPUNZEL'S BRAID TO DROP HER WITH THE KILLSWITCH!"

"So this bitch gets her neck broken and everybody cries, but when Wasp does it to someone else, these idiots CHEER?" Shake shouted. "EXPLAIN THAT LOGIC TO ME, FRYLOCK!"

"And you call yourself a master." Sora deadpanned. "Wasp took as much care of her in spite of that maneuver, Shake. . .and she's about to put Rapunzel away and seal the Women of Marvel this victory!"

Indeed, instead of going for the cover, Wasp turned Rapunzel on her chest. . .

. . .

. . .AND LOCKED IN THE BIO-ELECTRIC LOCK IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!

"WASP HAS THE B.E.L. LOCKED IN!" Frylock exclaimed. "RAPUNZEL HAS NOWHERE TO GO!"

"Just think, Sora. . .that could be YOU in less than three weeks," quipped Shake.

"That's plenty of time to learn a way out of it. . ." Sora said, as Wasp only intensified the hold, while Rapunzel screamed in agonizing pain. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE TAPPING OUT!

. . .

. . .in plain sight for the audience, while Snow White stood with Merida at Disnevolution's corner, distracting the referee!

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Frylock screamed. "WASP HAD THIS MATCH WON, BUT SNOW WHITE AND MERIDA ARE PREOCCUPYING THE REFEREE!"

"With royalty comes entitlement. . ." Sora said, ". . .these girls will do ANYTHING to get ahead."

"Will they suck my straw?" Shake wondered. "If they do that, I may give 'em more credit!"

"On THAT note. . ." Sora stated, before taking off her headset and striding away from the announcer's table!

"Where the hell are YOU going?" Shake shouted as Sora made her way toward the ring while Wasp looked up from Rapunzel to see the referee distracted and growled with annoyance. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL SHE SAW SORA PULL SNOW WHITE OFF THE RING APRON BY HER LEG, CAUSING HER TO HIT THE APRON FACE-FIRST!

"THE XCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION GOT TIRED OF DISNEVOLUTION'S SHENANIGANS!" Frylock shouted. "SHE'S TAKING IT TO THE WRESTLING LEGEND AND WANTS TO SEE A FAIR FIGHT!"

"LIKE HELL THIS IS FAIR, FRYLOCK!" Shake exclaimed. "FOR ALL WE KNOW, SNOW WHITE WAS ASKING THE REFEREE FOR A TAMPON!"

The referee then turned around, ignoring an apoplectic Merida on the apron as he turned his attention back to the match, which saw Wasp dragging Rapunzel by the braid toward her corner, where she tagged in Jean Grey, who leapt over all three ropes and pulled up Rapunzel for what looked liked an elevated spinebuster! Wasp then ran against the ropes in front of her. . .

. . .

. . .AND HIT RAPUNZEL WITH A CLOTHESLINE-NO!

MERIDA HIT HER IN THE FACE WITH A SPINNING BACK FIST FROM THE RING APRON!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock yelled. "WASP AND JEAN WERE GOING FOR THE MARVELOUS FINISH (The Hart Attack), BUT MERIDA GOT HERSELF INVOLVED!"

The power of the strike sent Wasp reeling down and out of the ring while Rapunzel headbutted her way out of Jean's grasp. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER WITH THE FRYING PAN SHOT (Spinning Back Fist)!

"AND NOW RAPUNZEL FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SPINNING BACK FIST OF HER OWN!" Frylock yelled, as the crowd ERUPTED with boos while Rapunzel tagged in Merida, who joined Rapunzel in the center of the ring to pull Wasp up. . .

. . .

. . .double Irish whip her across the ring. . .

. . .

. . .AND ALLOW THE TWO PRINCESSES TO TAKE JEAN DOWN WITH THE X-COMBO!

"WHAT A SET OF DUAL STRIKES FROM DISNEVOLUTION!" Frylock shouted. "JEAN MAY BE OUT COLD!"

"If she loses to a friggin' PUNCH, she's weaker than I thought." Shake declared while Sora looked on from the ramp,, eyes wide in dismay as she watched Merida go for the cover, hooking one leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"DAMMIT! DISNEVOLUTION ADVANCES!" Frylock shouted with disgust, as the crowd exploded with boos after Merida stood up with a smug smile when the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .the team of Rapunzel. . .AAAAAAND Merida. . .DISNEVOOOOOOOOOOOOLUUUUUUUUUTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Rapunzel ran toward her tag team partner and gave her a MASSIVE hug in the center of the ring, which Merida returned with a pat on the back, while Sora looked on from the stage with her hands covering her mouth in realization.

"Sora thought tripping up Snow White would swing the match back in Wasp and Jean Grey's favor, but she didn't do anything about Merida!" Frylock called. "It's possible she didn't want to risk disqualifying the Women of Marvel, but there's no other way to slice it: Sora cost Wasp and Jean Grey this match, as well as their opportunity to make history! Needless to say, The Original Avenger now has a bone to pick with the XCW Women's Champion whether she wants it or not! Meanwhile, the victors, Merida and Rapunzel, established a brutal style of fighting and camaraderie together here tonight, hurting their opponents in unique but devastating ways, and showed the world they'll do ANYTHING to win, whether it's through legal means or not! These two women of royalty are gonna be a royal pain in the ass for their opponents in the semifinals of our Women's Tag Team Championship tournament when it resumes at Equal Pain!"

The referee raised Merida and Rapunzel's arms in victory, only to be shooed away by Snow White, who wiped her feet on the apron before stepping into the ring and raising Wasp and Rapunzel's arms herself to MASSIVE boos from the crowd! Merida and Rapunzel feigned a cheeky but cocky pose while Snow White shouted, "THIS! IS THE FUTURE!"

"If ya ask me, Frylock, Sora did Wasp a FAVOR." Shake responded. "Now The Original Avenger doesn't have to risk fighting three matches in one night at Equal Pain! That Sunday, she can focus on one thing: beating this bitch of a Women's Champion up until she can't even lift the belt she wears anymore! But that's provided her surgically repaired neck holds up by then, which it WON'T, because Wasp is a bionic woman waiting to fall apart again, Sora's a bitch on her time of the month, and Jean Grey is an old fossil no matter what kinda shape she worked herself into! Hell, you said it yourself, it took Sora's IGNORANCE to give Disnevolution the go-ahead victory. Why the hell are we even HAVING an all-women's pay-per-view, and why the hell am I color commentating on it?! BOTH women's matches tonight don't have me excited for it! I'd rather see 'em clean my pool than wrestle in a ring again!"

"Don't let Carl hear you talk about HIS pool like that-" Frylock deadpanned, before shouting, "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?"

The crowd erupted into MORE boos. . .

. . .

. . .AS MERIDA AND RAPUNZEL STARTED STOMPING A MUDHOLE ONTO JEAN GREY!

Meanwhile, Snow White was standing at ringside shouting, "COME DOWN HERE! JOIN IN ON THE FUN!". . .

. . .

. . .as Anna and Moana sprinted down the ramp past a still-aghast Sora to pull Wasp up and throw her back into the ring! Anna and Moana then stomped their own mudhole onto Wasp!

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" yelled Frylock. "THE ENTIRE UNIT OF DISNEVOLUTION IS FOLLOWING SNOW WHITE'S MARCHING ORDERS AND ASSAULTING WASP AND JEAN GREY!"

"THEY DESERVE IT, FRYLOCK! THEY'RE A DISGRACE TO THE SPORT!" Shake snapped ,as Sora watched the in-ring events unfold from the stage, before gritting her teeth. . .

. . .

. . .AND RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP TO SLIDE INTO THE RING AND HIT MOANA WITH A CHARGING CLOTHESLINE!

"HERE COMES SORA TO MAKE THE SAVE!" Frylock said, as the crowd cheered for the Crestbearer of Love! Sora then Irish whipped Anna across the ring and sent her flying over the ropes and onto the floor with a back body drop! Sora then sprinted toward Merida and Rapunzel. . .

. . .

. . .but the victorious pair slid out of opposite sides of the ring before Sora could get to them. Merida and Rapunzel met Snow White at the foot of the ramp and helped Moana and Anna to their feet before looking back at the ring to shout variations of "WE STILL WON!" and "WE'RE COMING FOR THOSE TAG TITLES, AND WE'LL COME FOR YOURS NEXT, SORA!"

Meanwhile, in the ring, Sora helped Jean up to her feet, to a nod of thanks. Sora then made her way toward Wasp, who was pulling herself up to a vertical base with the ropes.

"Sora now turning her concerns over to Jean Grey, as well as her Equal Pain opponent. . ." Frylock observed, as Sora asked Wasp if she was okay off-mic, extending her hand in hopes of putting it on Wasp's shoulder. . .

. . .

. . .but The Original Avenger whipped around and shouted, "YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH!" with an angry look on her face.

"Come on, Jean. . ." Wasp said off-mic, upon which, Jean stepped over the second rope and left the ring, as Sora looked at Wasp remorsefully to say, "I'm sorry. . ." But Wasp could only respond with,

"It's not THAT. . ."

Sora paused, her face freezing into a look of confusion as Wasp stepped onto the apron.

"It's NOT. That." repeated Wasp, before taking a beat and saying, "See you Sunday. . ." as she stepped over the second rope and up the ramp, leaving Sora alone in the center of the ring with a look of confusion.

"Well, Wasp is MORE than a bit irate at the Crestbearer of Love right now. . .what could be going through her mind now, and that of Sora, as the first time ever dream match between them for the XCW Women's Championship at Equal Pain draws near?" Frylock wondered.

"Hell if I know." Shake responded. "They're probably thinking about how much laundry they gotta do."

Sora continued to stare up the ramp with a confused expression until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Shenhua was applying lipstick between Alexander De Large and Mimi Tachikawa, who had a microphone in hand.

---

"Shenhua. . ." Mimi said, ". . .tonight, you're fighting in the main event of this edition of Monday Night Massacre, but next week, you and your tag partner Sawyer The Cleaner take on Goosebumps United in your quarterfinal match in the Women's Tag Team Championship tournament. How do you feel about the field in the tournament, and how confident are you going into both of your upcoming matches?"

"How do I feel?" repeated Shenhua, before closing her folding mirror. "I feel like sky's the limit. It no matter who I face or what match I fight, because I am on a hot streak that will only get hotter now that my best friend and favorite Cleaner, Sawyer is on main roster. Goosebumps United may be young and eager to fight, but they no have the mean streak that we do. They no fight with monstrous brutality. They no managed by a literal serial killer! Since Alex accompany me to all my matches, I'm undefeated, and with him and Sawyer by my sides, I will murder all competition that stands in our way during the Women's Tag Team title tournament regardless of how old they are, how much they say, or how strong they are. And I hope everyone on our side of bracket watches tonight's main event because what I do to Nazz won't just be the same fate as all who step in ring with me and Sawyer. . .it will be a healthy dose of what Alex calls the old. . .

. . .

. . .ULTRAVIOLENCE."

Shenhua winked at Mimi as a smirk crawled up her face before she stepped away from the microphone, allowing Alex to step up to the Crestbearer of Sincerity.

"Yes. . .the red, red kroovy shall flow from the blonde head of Nazz upon the ringing of the final bell, and as Shenhua's manager, it shall be a delight to watch my client achieve victory in the first main event of what will be an illustrious career-" Alex declared. . .

. . .

. . .until he was interrupted by-

". . .FAT. FREAKIN'. CHANCE."

. . .TOMMY VERCETTI, who stepped into frame shouldering the XCW World Heavyweight Championship with a grimace on his face as the crowd EXPLODED with boos, and Alex and Shenhua's eyes narrowed upon sight of him, while Mimi just backed away from the area.

"Hi hi hi there." Alex deadpanned.

"Get your client outta here, Alex." Tommy demanded under his breath. "I wanna talk to you man-to-man."

"So be it." Alex responded, before turning to look over his shoulder at Shenhua. "See you at your dressing room, Shenhua."

Shenhua nodded, looking down from Tommy's eyes before turning around away from the scene, leaving Alex and Tommy alone in the hallway.

"Well now. . .to what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Brother Thomas?" Alex wondered, dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm NOT your brother, Alex. . .not anymore." seethed Tommy. "I heard what Claude said tonight, and I didn't like it ONE BIT. If he's got a bone to pick with me, you do, too, because you've been friends with him for as long as this company's been around. I can't trust you won't stay out of MY business tonight rather than your clients. . .so do me a favor and stay back here tonight, for your own good."

"What's this about having a bone to pick?" responded Alex. "I'm just a manager And how'd you hear about Claude's words, anyway? You were a late arrival on this nochy. That's not champion-like behavior now, isn't it?"

"Trevor played it back for me." Tommy responded. "And you DON'T WRESTLE. You don't know SHIT about champion-like behavior, and you CLEARLY didn't watch last night's main event. I'm not like any of the other BOYS like Kuso, Adonis, Ben or LeAnkle holding World titles in their companies. I'm a MAN, and AS A MAN, I'm calling the shots in our main event. If you trust your 'client', you'll leave the fighting to her. So for the second time, stay. Back. Here. . .and stay outta my way. You got it?"

"I trust my client more than you can ever imagine." Alex replied, ". . .and find her as beautiful as an unmuddied lake. It would have been nice to have heard you say that at least once to Ca-"

But all of a sudden, Alex was stopped in his tracks WHEN TOMMY PINNED HIM AGAINST THE WALL WITH HIS ARM, PRESSING IT AGAINST HIS NECK, CHOKING HIM UNTIL HIS FACE TURNED RED!

"No WONDER you're called 'The Drew Rosenhaus of Fiction Wrestling'. . .like him, you NEVER SHUT UP." Tommy shouted. "For the THIRD TIME-"

"ALRIGHT!" croaked Alex, "ALL RIGHT! I'LL STAY BACK HERE!"

"Thank you." Tommy said, letting Alex go, upon which, he started gasping to catch his breath.

"Glad you saw it my way," he added, before passing Alex as he continued to gasp for air until Tommy stopped in his tracks.

"By the way. . .tell Stanley and Dredd I said hi." Tommy said after looking at Alex behind his shoulder, before continuing to turn the corner, leaving Alex alone in the hallway.

"Bloody hell. . ." exclaimed Alex, as he sauntered off in the opposite direction until the show transitioned to a commercial break.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Ramsay Bolton was standing in a hallway next to a freshly reformed Meatwad, who had a microphone in hand.

"Ramsay Bolton, congratulations on becoming the new, uh. . .the new Hardcore Champion last night!" commended Meatwad. "What's next for you, and uh. . .how does it feel to have won your first title in all of fiction wrestling?"

"Oh, it feels absolutely splendid!" Ramsay said in a sinister tone. "In fact, I can think of one thing that feels better than holding a championship in this industry. . .and it's something I've gotten with or without ANY woman's consent. But that's for another day. . .because the days and weeks ahead are going to be glorious for myself. . .and a living, waking nightmare for all who try to challenge for my title. Because it is often said that titles do not make men illustrious, but rather, it is the men who do that to the titles. And this belt may be held together by glue, string and assorted knick knacks, but regardless of its appearance, I will make the Hardcore Championship illustrious by giving each and every single one of my adversaries a beating to within an inch of his life! And that extends to ALL who happens to be in the ring with me less than five weeks from now. . .because I, TOO, am declaring to be an entrant in XCW's first-ever Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal! I intend to carry this Hardcore Championship into the main event of Animania, because the only thing to defeat brutality is MORE brutali-"

-BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN, RAMSAY WAS BLINDSIDED BY AN ATTACK FROM BEHIND BY MORDECAI!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock exclaimed. "THAT'S MORDECAI! HE'S GOING AFTER THE XCW HARDCORE TITLE VIA THE 24/7 RULE!"

"HOLY CRAP!" Shake yelled. "Can Ramsay stuff Meatwad down his throat? That'd be a creative use of a weapon!"

Mordecai hit Ramsay in the back with a rake repeatedly until he was driven into a garage door. The Bastard of Bolton held his hands out in front of himself to keep from hitting it face first. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL MORDECAI DROPPED HIM FROM BEHIND WITH THE YEAHUH!

"MORDECAI HIT THE YEAHUH ON RAMSAY!" Frylock screamed. "ARE WE GONNA HAVE A NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION?"

Mordecai then crawled on top of Ramsay and waved for a referee to come into frame. . .

. . .

. . .BUT RAMSAY GRABBED MORDECAI BY THE THROAT AND PULLED HIMSELF UP TO A STANDING POSITION BEFORE THE REFEREE COULD MAKE THE COUNT!

"RAMSAY TANKED THE YEAHUH!" Frylock shouted. "AND THAT WAS ON SOLID CONCRETE!"

Ramsay stared Mordecai down, seething between his teeth with an incensed look on his face until he NAILED Mordecai in the groin with a stiff kick, then dropped him HARD on the floor with The Bolton Bomb! Ramsay then picked up Mordecai's rake and did a backflip. . .

. . .

. . .SO HE COULD CHOKE MORDECAI OUT WITH A RAKE-AIDED OLD FASHIONED FLAYING! The referee knelt down and asked Mordecai if he wanted to quit but all he could do was flail his arms and reach for anything in front of him, but there was nothing in sight. . .

. . .and he started to see less and less in his field of vision as he began to fade out of consciousness, waving his arms slower and slower! Mordecai's body eventually went limp, and his eyes rolled back into his head, causing Ramsay to let go and stand up with a sadistic but satisfied smirk on his face. The Bastard of Bolton then stepped toward his belt to pick it up. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL RIGBY CHARGED INTO THE SCENE, LEAPING UPWARDS FOR A DEATH PUNCH. . .

. . .

. . .BUT RAMSAY CAUGHT RIGBY'S ARM AND COUNTERED IT INTO AN ARM WRENCH! The Bastard of Bolton then maneuvered his way around to Rigby's back. . .

. . .

. . .SO HE COULD DROP HIM HEAD-FIRST ON THE CONCRETE WITH DREADFORT!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Frylock cringed. "Ramsay Bolton just laid out both Mordecai AND Rigby!"

"HAHAHAHA! I LOVE it, Frylock!" cheered Shake. "Fight brutality with MORE brutality, just like Ramsay promised!"

Ramsay caught his breath as he picked up his Hardcore title belt and stepped away from the laid out bodies of Mordecai and Rigby and back toward Meatwad, who had looked on at what just happened in horror. The Bastard of Bolton then looked him right in the eyes and pointed in the direction of Mordecai and Rigby, before seething aloud. . .

". . .case. . .IN. . .POINT."

Ramsay gave Meatwad a wide, sinister grin before exiting the scene, leaving Meatwad shivering with terror until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

---

"The following contest is a six-person intergender tag team match scheduled for one fall, and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event for the evening!"

The crowd exploded with cheers of excitement. . .

. . .

. . .that grew even LOUDER when the following sound exploded on the Titantron. . .

. . .

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into more cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed, Eddy and Nazz jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising their hands above their heads, Ed and Eddy strode down the ramp as Nazz stepped between them, splaying her arms and pointing at her tag team partners with a confident swagger.

"Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .the team of 'The Assistant With Assets' Nazz. . .'The Monobrowed Monster' Ed and 'The D-Ed Leader' Eddy. . .D-GENERATION ED!"

Ed, Nazz and Eddy slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, all of them making the word 'ED' with their hands above their heads, gesturing toward the fans.

"Well, Shake, while Ramsay Bolton promises to match the brutality that comes with the hardcore division with his own unique brand of brutality, I fear D-Generation Ed may be in for a world of hurt in our main event!" Frylock declared. "Earlier tonight, our current World Heavyweight Champion, Tommy Vercetti hadn't been in the arena for five minutes, and he was getting on Sora's case, which prompted Nazz to stand up for her! But then the Harwood Butcher would continue to throw his weight around and said he would call the anonymous chairman and make this match! It was made ENTIRELY out of spite for Nazz and D-Generation Ed! But as much as I worry about what these three are in for, this IS a huge opportunity for Ed, Eddy and Nazz to make a statement and achieve the biggest victory in their XCW careers!"

Ed, Eddy and Nazz met in the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

"God, and you think I'M a hypocrite." Shake snapped. "You just said you feared for D-Ed's safety only to turn coat and say you're excited for 'em? Gimme a freakin' break! Ed and Eddy may be former World Champions in PCUW and CWF respectively, but XCW is an entirely different beast. While the Eds have been running around arenas and the entire universe playing detective and getting into stupid comedy hijinks since XCW's inception, people praise our taste for all things hardcore, and EVERY single one of D-Ed's opponents started their careers on the deathmatch scene! Not to mention Tommy Vercetti is riding high after beating Tai Kamiya to successfully retain his title last night, and I'm willing to bet he wants to keep the good times on a roll! So these three idiot kids better count their blessings and hug each other while they can, because as soon as that bell rings, they're nothing less than SITTING GODDAMN DUCKS!"

Ed, Eddy and Nazz stared down the ramp at the entranceway with anticipation until. . .

. . .

. . ."Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie played, and Shenhua came onto the stage with a smirk on her face as the stage lights turned green.

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Roanapur, Thailand. . .she is 'The Taiwanese Assassin'. . .SHENHUA!" Carl announced, as Shenhua placed a hand on her hip and leaned forward, looking tauntingly at the ring and crowd before she stood up straight and made her way down the ramp.

"And I take it this person is one reason why you think that way, Shake?" Frylock wondered. "Because Shenhua said it herself earlier that ever since making her XCW debut in a losing effort in a number one contender's tournament months ago, 'The Taiwanese Assassin' Shenhua, has been on a tear of her own through XCW's women's division. She's racked up singles wins against Faye Valentine, Daisy and Lee Kanker, while getting the victory over Jun Motomiya AND Sora Takenouchi in tag team action! A win tonight would give Shenhua not only a huge victory on a big stage, it would also give her a huge boost of momentum as she and her fellow assassin Frederica Sawyer fight in the Women's Tag Team Championship tournament next week against Goosebumps United!"

Shenhua got on the apron, and gave a mocking glance to the crowd before leaping over the ropes and into the ring.

"Yeah, because you really NEED momentum to fight a couple of edgy children." Shake responded, dripping with sarcasm. "Also those singles wins ain't nothing to ride home about; Daisy's assisting Peach with her comeback, Lee Kanker leads a stable of female jobbers and Faye Valentine has barely been in an XCW ring since this company even began! I'll be shocked if we see them make an appearance at Equal Pain, and I'll be JUST as shocked if Shenhua is the one to win this main event for her team tonight. As a matter of fact, do the women HAVE to be in this match? They already brought the ratings down to a screeching halt with the women's tag team tournament matches, and now they're gonna stink up this friggin' main event! The glory of victory should belong to Shenhua's tag team partners and NO ONE ELSE!"

Shenhua stood in her team's corner as the following words rang throughout the arena. . .

ECHO.

MILANO.

PADOVA.

INDIA.

ROMA.

ECHO.

EMPIRE.

"Wet Blanket" by Metz played, and the crowd exploded into a huge mixed reaction as Trevor Phillips was found standing at the top of a staircase in the crowd.

"And her tag team partner. . .representing the Three Crest Empire. . .from Vinewood by way of the great province of Canada. . .he is TREVOOOOOOOOR PHILLIIIIIIIIIIIPS!"

"Sadly Shake, you may get your wish. . ." foreboded Frylock, ". . .because The Crazy Guy of the Three Crest Empire, Trevor Phillips, has an apparent bone to pick with D-Generation Ed! Last night at Abolishment, we learned that he, Franklin Clinton, and their de facto leader Michael De Santa were revealed to be the ones who attacked D-Generation Ed before they could enter the Tag Team Turmoil match at XCW Shockwave in August, and also the ones to have sent D-Ed on a wild goose chase all over the world as they investigated the mystery of their attackers! But we still have no idea of their motives! Why the hell would Trevor and the Three Crest Empire attack D-Generation Ed, of all teams? They're one of the most decorated teams in the history of this business!"

Trevor stepped down the concrete steps and made his way toward the barricade, more than ready to take care of business.

"Yeah, they're also annoying degenerates." responded Shake. "And Trevor Phillips is a man of TASTE! He's the kinda guy who has a LOW tolerance for bullshit, and D-Generation Ed has been parading around nothing BUT that since they came into this business! That's my guess for why Trevor and the Three Crest Empire beat 'em up before their entrance in the Shockwave tag team turmoil match, and if you ask me, he did XCW a FAVOR by doing that! If you put the Eds in that match, there's no WAY that match wins the FWA that it won! But there's gonna be more where those came from for the Empire, Frylock, because Trevor, Michael and Franklin made a statement with their attack: they're not here to crack jokes or scam unsuspecting idiots on the roster, they are here to FIGHT, and bring XCW back down to ground zero, and it's DUE for nothing less than just that!"

Trevor climbed over the barricade and stood at the foot of the ramp, pointing a fist at a nearby seating section and trading a war of words with them, glaring at the crowd with a contemptuous stare. . .

. . .until the crowd ERUPTED with boos. . .

. . .

. . . . .as 'The Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti made his way onto the stage, scanning the arena with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder to no entrance music whatsoever.

"And their tag team partner. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORLD. . .'The Harwood Butcher'. . .TOMMYYYYYYYY VERRRRRRRRCETTIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Tommy slowly but surely sauntered down the ramp with the same malcontented grimace on his face, holding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship against his chest with one hand as the fans continued to berate him with chants of "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"

"Someone who THINKS he's due for everything he wants is THIS man, Tommy Vercetti," segued Frylock. "Last night he not only defeated Tai Kamiya in his first-ever defense of the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, he also beat Tai into a bloody pulp with brass knuckles in the center of the ring well after the final bell had rung! Now he's throwing his weight around to anyone and everyone, to the point where he made this main event out of spite for Nazz and flat-out demanded Alexander De Large stay backstage and away from his own client Shenhua, for this main event! This man has a bone to pick with EVERYONE for no real reason other than to assert himself as the most dominant force in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and I don't like it one bit!"

Tommy stepped down the ramp until he came to Trevor's side, glaring D-Generation Ed down from the floor before sharing a brief conversation with Trevor.

"Well, ya better get used to it, Frylock, because he's the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion!" Shake declared. "This man IS the most dominant force in the entire world, and the sky's the limit for him, if you ask me! Because he may only be a month into his reign, but he tells everyone how he feels about them every time he picks up a microphone, and beat Tai fair and square! Cleaner than the freshly bleached ass of a New Jersey hooker last night! He backs up his words better than anyone that's ever held the XCW World title before, and I think he's gonna defend the title more than Tai, Garfield and Mario all put together, because this man WANTS to be great! He wants to prove to the world that he's one of the best fighters in this business because for his entire wrestling life, he's been labeled as a carny deathmatch specialist. But that's gonna change tonight, because he's about to make Nazz, Eddy, AND Ed feel everything that happens when you stand up to the Harwood Butcher, and I ain't sorry to spoil ya, but it ain't anything good-BUT THIS DAMN SURE IS!"

All of a sudden, Shake was interrupted. . .

. . .

. . .when Tommy and Trevor dashed into the ring together and smothered Eddy and Ed with a flurry of right hands that drove them into the corners facing the announcer's tables!

"WHAT THE HELL?" exclaimed Frylock. "Tommy and Trevor are blindsiding Eddy and Ed before the match can even start! So much for sportsmanship!"

"You really expected THAT from Tommy Vercetti?" Shake shouted. "This man and the V-Crest Dynasty play by their own rules!"

The two GTA protagonists continued to smother Ed and Eddy with right hands in their respective corners, while Nazz looked on at Tommy with a scowl and lunged toward him, hoping to lock him in a sleeper hold. . .

. . .but Shenhua caught her in mid-air with a European uppercut to her temple that sent the Assistant With Assets down to the mat! As the referee demanded Tommy and Trevor to go to their corner, The Taiwanese Assassin pulled Nazz up by the hair and dumped her onto the ring apron, but Nazz held onto the top rope before she could hit the ringside floor. Nazz pulled herself up to a standing position on the apron. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR SHENHUA TO SEND HER FACE FIRST ONTO THE FLOOR WITH A RUNNING GAMENGIRI!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock screamed. "It doesn't matter if Alex is out here or not or who she's fighting against or teaming with, because Shenhua is out to kill her opponent here tonight! There's no better time to show this much tenacity than in the main event of Monday Night Massacre with Equal Pain just weeks away, I just wish it didn't come in such a heinous manner!"

"I LOVE IT, FRYLOCK!" yelled Shake. "KNOCK THE SILLINESS OUT OF EM BY KNOCKING 'EM SILLY!"

As Shenhua taunted to boos from the crowd, the referee began a five count after demanding Tommy and Trevor return to their corners, with Trevor reluctantly stepping away from Ed while Tommy Irish whipped Eddy by all three of his hairs into Ed in the adjacent corner when his count reached four! Tommy flipped the Eds off before stepping onto the ring apron, to scowls from Ed and Eddy, who demanded he start the match off, while Trevor stayed in the ring at his team's corner. Once the bell rang and the match began, Trevor and Eddy immediately charged toward each other, but Trevor met the D-Ed Leader with a three-punch combination before gripping him in a headlock and driving him into his corner with a knee to the gut! Trevor continued to hit Eddy with brutal knee strike after knee strike until he threw Eddy down by all three of his hairs with a snapmare, then threw him onto his back and pressed his foot onto his throat, choking him!

"Trevor Phillips is manhandling Eddy in the early goings!" Frylock called. "He wants to take him to within an inch of his life!"

"If anything, he's giving Eddy the motivation he needs to take wrestling seriously!" Shake declared. "Eddy should be THANKING Trevor for this beating, and the beating he gave these dumbass degenerates last night!"

". . .Shake, are you aware of your own stupidity?" Frylock wondered aloud, as Trevor lifted Eddy up by all three of his hairs and dropped him with a full nelson slam! Trevor went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! Trevor then pulled Eddy up and smacked him in the chin with a European uppercut that sent him stumbling backwards into the corner. Trevor then charged toward the corner and hit Eddy in the face with a corner clothesline before dropping him with a belly-to-belly side slam! Trevor then followed that up by running against the ropes, and after the bounceback, landed a falling elbow onto the face of Eddy! Trevor went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!

The Crazy Guy of the Three Crest Empire then stood up and landed a series of stomps onto Eddy's chest until The D-Ed Leader caught Trevor's foot and swept it out from under him, sending Trevor flying over him and onto his back! Eddy then pulled Trevor's leg up and smashed his knee against the canvas with a knee smash! The D-Ed Leader then turned Trevor onto his back and catapulted him into D-Ed's corner! The Crazy Guy hit the top turnbuckle and stumbled out of it right before getting dropped by a facebuster from Eddy! Eddy then landed a leg drop across Trevor's body before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Trevor kicked out! Eddy then pulled Trevor up by his shirt and slugged him with a three-punch combination, but Trevor fired back with right hands of his own! Trevor and Eddy continued to trade punches until Eddy surprised him with a kick to the shin, then spun him around and slammed him on his back with an AA Spinebuster! Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Trevor kicked out!

"But Eddy's responding to Trevor and Tommy's early onslaught by pulling out his big moves!" Frylock called. "How will The D-Ed Leader keep the momentum going in his team's favor?"

Eddy then catapulted Trevor back into his corner before tagging in Ed, who climbed onto the top rope while Eddy lifted Trevor up for a powerbomb. . .

. . .

. . .so that Ed could take him down with a bulldog from the top rope! Ed went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Trevor kicked out! Ed pulled Trevor up by his shirt and Biel threw him into a corner before nailing him in the chest with a running shoulder thrust! The Crazy Guy stumbled out of the corner and responded to Ed with a thumb to his eye! The Monobrowed Monster stumbled around the ring in a daze until Trevor responded with a neckbreaker! Trevor went for the cover 1. . .Ed powered out! Trevor pulled Ed up by his jacket and went for a right hand, but Ed caught Trevor's fist and nailed him right between the eyes for a headbutt before Irish whipping him across the ring and dropping him on his knee with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy pulled Ed out of the ring by his foot! But Ed sent Tommy reeling back into his corner with a headbutt, then climbed back into the ring over all three ropes to see Trevor pulling himself up with the ropes. The Monobrowed Monster then turned Trevor around and sent him flying across the ring with a release belly-to-belly suplex! The Crazy Guy then dove toward his corner and tagged in Tommy, who entered the ring to MASSIVE boos from the crowd, who also chanted, "TOMMY SUCKS! TOMMY SUCKS! TOMMY SUCKS!"

"And to venomous fanfare enters the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tommy Vercetti. . ." Frylock said, ". . .I thought I knew this man when he first arrived here after making a name for himself as a deathmatch wrestler for the past decade. . .but MAN, was I wrong. . .he's nothing more than a cold, sadistic human being, and an even WORSE champion!"

"That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. . .because it's DUMB." Shake quipped. "Tommy beat Tai fair and square last night! You can't tell me he's not a fighting champion by doing that! He's firing on all cylinders right now, and is in the prime of his career! He's gonna beat this idiot Ed SENSELESS tonight!"

Tommy charged into the ring and drove Ed into a nearby corner, pummeling him with furious right and left hands until Ed caught him in a headlock and threw him down with a forward suplex! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! The Monobrowed Monster then pulled Tommy up by his collar and nailed him with another headbutt. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE TOMMY NAILED HIM IN THE GROIN WITH A LOW BLOW WHILE TREVOR HAD THE REFEREE DISTRACTED!

"OH COME ON!" Frylock screamed. "THAT WASN'T NECESSARY AT ALL!"

"Of course it was necessary, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "Trevor wanted to show the referee the nice watch he thrifted! He didn't NEED to go to JARED!"

"Please, I'd mention the only Jared he reminds me of, but we'd lose our sponsors." Frylock deadpanned, before Tommy fired back on Ed with a relentless flurry of angry stomps! The Harwood Butcher then ran against the ropes behind him and nailed Ed with a kick to his temple! Tommy then landed a pointed elbow drop right between the eyes of Ed before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Ed kicked out! Tommy growled under his breath as he pulled Ed up and Irish whipped him across the ring and caught him with a sleeper hold on the bounceback. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ED TO COUNTER IT WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Trevor broke up the count!

"The Harwood Butcher and his crazy friend are absolutely relentless with their brutal brawling offensive maneuvers, but Ed and Eddy are rising to the occasion in our main event!" Frylock called, "They're fighting like the former PCUW World Champions they are!"

"Why mention THAT defunct company? That's older news than global warming being a thing!" Shake attested, as Ed pulled Tommy up and tagged in Eddy, who Irish whipped Tommy into an adjacent corner and rammed him head and face first into the top turnbuckle with the crowd counting along until The D-Ed Leader reached ten-

-or, they WOULD HAVE, if Tommy didn't nail Eddy right between the eyes with a back elbow, then take him down with a Russian leg sweep! Tommy went for the cover, hooking both legs! 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! The Harwood Butcher then pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs and tagged in Trevor, who joined him in a double mudhole stomping of Eddy in his corner! Trevor then Irish whipped Eddy and sent him reeling with a bionic elbow! Eddy then made a quick tag in to Ed, who charged toward Trevor only to get slapped across the face for his troubles. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL ED CLOCKED HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE THAT SENT HIM ROTATING 360 DEGREES!

"DEAR GOD! TREVOR PHILLIPS JUST DISRESPECTED ED, AND HE PAID FOR IT WITH THAT CLOTHESLINE!" Frylock yelled.

"IF THAT WAS AN HOMAGE TO ROLF, ED SURE DID STUFF HIS COC DOWN TREVOR'S THROAT TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY!" Shake screamed.

"Yes. . ." Frylock called between chuckles, ". . .he certainly did. . ."

Back in the ring, Ed pulled Trevor up and threw him for a German suplex. . .only for Trevor to land on his feet and after regaining his composure, he sent Ed reeling through the ropes and onto the apron with a diving right hand, then climbed onto the top rope!

"Is The Crazy Guy, Trevor Phillips drunk right now?" Frylock wondered. "This brawler is looking to go high-risk!"

"I wouldn't put it past him, Frylock!" Shake replied, as Trevor leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .BUT ED CAUGHT HIM AND DROPPED HIM WITH A LEAPING JAWBREAKER THAT SENT BOTH MEN ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

"HOLY CRAP!" exclaimed Frylock. "TREVOR AND TOMMY'S INCESSANT STRIKES AND BRUTALITY ARE BEING MATCHED BY D-GENERATION ED'S WILL TO WIN!"

"WHAT'S ED TRYING TO DO, KILL HIM?" Shake wondered, as Ed and Trevor winced in pain from their respective bumps on the floor as Nazz slipped off the apron to check on her friend and tag team partner while the fans erupted into chants of, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"Will D-Generation Ed achieve their biggest victory to date in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling?" shouted Frylock. "We'll find out after we come back from a short stay in picture-in-picture!"

Nazz fist-bumped Ed just before Trevor charged toward him to take him down with a running knee strike as the referee began a ten-count until the show suddenly minimized to the top left corner of the TV screen to make room for a series of commercials, the first of which featured an African-American woman talking into a camera.

"I voted for President Baraka." said the African-American woman, before the ad cut to a male senior citizen talking into a camera.

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"President Baraka sat on his hands and put justice in the hands of incompetent costumed freaks!" said the male senior citizen.

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"And Regulate the Justice League." added the African-American woman, before cutting to a screen split five different ways showing headshots of each real person as an audio disclaimer played underneath them.

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"I'm Wario from Wario Land, I've been a businessman for almost 30 years. Most call me the 'Bizzaro Mario', but I'm the one who taught the Champion of Life how to haggle and be a hero! So after I got so rich changing video games forever with my company WarioWare Inc., one day I was cruising down the streets on my Harley Davidson motorcycle, and realized I had grown fond o'two more things other than money:

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The advertisement cut to a VERY low-budget looking 'Wario's Waffles' and "Wario Bros. Buick and Chevrolet" logo in front of a crappy CGI red curtain before transitioning to Eric Cartman sitting at a small ornate table in his backyard.

"Oh, hello there, boys and girls!" exclaimed Eric Cartman. "My name is Eric Cartman! You might remember me as The Enforcer of the South Park Four, but then I suffered a really bad concussion. . ."

Cartman paused to let a sad 'Wah wah wah waaaaaaaahhhhhh….' play from a trombone in the musical score.

"But don't worry! My injury has left me with a LOT of time to reflect on my life and wrestling career, and I can say with confidence that I have turned a new leaf!"

Cartman paused again to let the sound of children applauding and cheering play, looking at the camera with an overly cheerful smile.

"Yes, I'm happy you're happy, because very soon, you're gonna get to see me again! And you're gonna meet my friends: this is Clyde Frog. . .Muscle Man Marc. . .Peter Panda. . .and Polly Prissypants!"

Cartman gestured to all the stuffed animals sitting in their respective seats as a band of woodland animals skipped into the scene.

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"But I've met a VERY special friend during my time away. . .and I can't wait to introduce him to ALL of you. . ." Cartman said to the camera, in a slightly sinister tone. . .

. . .before comedically snapping back into a jovial demeanor.

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Cartman waved at the camera as a colorful 'Triggered Tea Party' logo appeared on the screen until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Tommy Vercetti and Ed were brawling in the center of the ring!

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and for a main event that was made out of spite, this six-person intergender tag team match has been a hell of a competitive, fast-paced affair!" Frylock called. "Ed and Eddy have exchanged tags and double team maneuvers in their fight against Shenhua and the V-Crest Dynasty, such as when Ed tagged in Eddy to take Tommy down with a Dropkick/DDT double team maneuver! But Tommy and Trevor were resilient, such as after The Monobrowed Monster Ed was tagged back into the match, only for Tommy to stand on his neck while Trevor stomped all over his defenseless body! Now the current XCW World Heavyweight Champion and The Monobrowed Colossus are in a battle between an unstoppable force and an immovable object!"

"And y'know what's the BEST part about this match, Frylock?" Shake asked. "The women haven't been tagged in!"

The two men continued to trade right hands until Ed was dazed enough to give Tommy the opening to hit him with a three-punch combination that drove him against the ropes. The Harwood Butcher then Irish whipped Ed across the ring and leapt up for a Lou Thesz Press on the bounceback. . .

. . .

. . .but Ed caught him in mid-air and dropped him across his knee with a gutbuster! The Monobrowed Monster then pretended to point a baseball bat at Tommy, who was slowly but surely pulling himself up to a standing position with the ropes. Ed then caught The Harwood Butcher in a headlock from behind and went for the Lump Drop-

-but Tommy caught his arm before he could hit the move. . .

. . .

. . .SO ED COUNTERED IT WITH AN INVERTED SUPLEX! Ed then turned around to see Tommy dazed on his knees and dropped him with a shoulderbreaker! Ed went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .TOMMY KICKED OUT, HITTING ED WITH A RIGHT HAND TO HIS TEMPLE! Tommy rose to his feet and kicked Ed with FURIOUS kicks to the gut! The Harwood Butcher continued to do this until Ed had rolled all the way to the ropes. Tommy then pulled Ed up by his collar and rubbed Ed's head against the top rope! The XCW World Heavyweight Champion made his way toward Eddy and Nazz's corner, where he flipped off the Assistant with Assets, shouting, "Average shot, HUH?"

"Tommy Vercetti getting in the face of Nazz after their confrontation earlier tonight-BUT TOMMY BETTER LEARN TO KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT!" exclaimed Frylock, as Ed lifted Tommy up and dropped him with a sidewalk slam off the distraction! As Nazz jumped for joy and applauded her friend and tag partner, Ed pulled Tommy up and Irish whipped him across the ring and dropped him with a Big Boot to the chin! The fans then rose to their feet cheering on Ed. . .who slowly but surely put his arm up to his neck. . .

. . .

. . .AND DID THE CUTTHROAT TAUNT WITH HIS EYES ROLLED BACK INTO HIS HEAD!

"The Monobrowed Monster is channeling his former UIW persona, The Edertaker!" Frylock called. "He's signaling that the end is near for the World Heavyweight Champion!"

"Urgh, can't this kid do anything ORIGINAL?" Shake wondered, as Ed lifted Tommy up. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

"THE TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed, as Ed draped Tommy's arms over his chest before going for the pin, sticking his tongue out a la Undertaker for dramatic effect 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 TREVOR PHILLIPS BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A RUNNING KNEE STRIKE TO THE HEAD!

"NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Frylock, as the fans shouted "OHHHHH!" and booed Trevor as he pulled Ed up and slugged him with a three-punch combination while the referee began a five-count!

"Leave it to The Crazy Guy, Trevor Phillips, to save Tommy from his first loss as XCW World Heavyweight Champion!" Frylock said. "It's still unclear why Trevor Phillips and The Three Crest Empire attacked D-Generation Ed before the Shockwave Tag Team Turmoil match, but Trevor is making those strikes with absolute FURY!"

"Sometimes no reason is the best reason, Frylock!" Shake declared, before Trevor Irish whipped Ed into his corner HARD. As Trevor returned to the apron just as the referee's count reached four, Ed stumbled back toward Tommy. . .

. . .

. . .WHO THIS TIME, LANDED A LOU THESZ PRESS ONTO ED, THEN HAMMERED AWAY AT HIS HEAD WITH FURIOUS RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS TO BOOS FROM THE CROWD!

"And now Trevor's interference has given Tommy the upper hand in this main event matchup!" yelled Frylock. "DAMMIT!"

Tommy stood up and strode toward a corner, shouting vehement obscenities at the fans before running against the ropes and landing a knee drop onto Ed's face. Tommy then pulled Ed up by the collar of his jacket only to drop him onto the mat with a punishing Uranage! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .EDDY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A RUNNING SENTON!

"NOW EDDY'S MAKING THE SAVE FOR HIMSELF AND D-GENERATION ED!" Frylock cried, as the fans exploded with cheers and Tommy stood up from the cover, staring up at The D-Ed Leader with a look of fury. . .

. . .

. . .as Eddy gave him the D-X crotch chop taunt right in his face! Tommy then threw Eddy back into the D-Ed corner so hard, he fell over the ropes and onto the ringside floor. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR NAZZ TO WASH TOMMY'S FACE AGAINST THE TOP ROPE!

"BUT NOW LOOK AT NAZZ!" yelled Frylock. "THE ASSISTANT WITH ASSETS IS GIVING TOMMY A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!"

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! THAT CAN'T BE LEGAL FOR NAZZ TO PUT HER HANDS ON A MAN DURING THIS MATCH!" screamed Shake. "D-ED SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED!"

Tommy reeled into the center of the ring in a daze. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL ED DROPPED HIM FROM BEHIND WITH THE LUMP DROP!

"ED HIT TOMMY WITH HIS PCUW FINISHER!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL D-ED GET THE BIGGEST WIN OF THEIR XCW CAREERS HERE?"

With the fans cheering behind him, Ed went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .TOMMY KICKED OUT! Ed rose up to his knees, moaning in frustration!

"NO! TOMMY JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock exclaimed.

"Just goes to show you that that outdated move doesn't have the power it once had!" Shake called, as Ed lifted Tommy up by his collar and lifted him up for a fallaway slam. . .

. . .

. . .but Tommy hit him in the temple with a series of back elbows that caused Ed to release him from his grasp! Ed reeled against the ropes behind him, trying to create separation before lunging forward for a clothesline. . .

. . .

. . .but Tommy ducked underneath it and lifted Ed up in a full nelson before dropping him against his knee with a half-nelson backbreaker! The Harwood Butcher then pulled Ed up by the collar of his jacket and spun around to face his back. . .

. . .

. . .BUT ED LIFTED HIM UP IN A FIREMAN'S CARRY. . .

"ED'S GOT TOMMY UP! HE'S GOING FOR THE ELEDRIFIER!" yelled Frylock unintelligibly. . .

. . .

. . .before Tommy dropped out of it behind him and kicked Ed in the midsection before dropping him on his head with a double arm DDT!

"GOOD GOD, SHAKE!" screamed Frylock. "TOMMY MAY HAVE BROKEN ED'S NECK WITH THAT DOUBLE ARM DDT! WILL THAT BE ALL?"

Tommy turned Ed onto his back and went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 ED KICKED OUT! Tommy rolled off Ed and drug himself toward his corner, while The Monobrowed Monster did the same toward his, where Nazz had her arm extended toward her tag team partner!

"This has been an incredible six-person tag team main event, ladies and gentlemen!" Frylock called. "Tommy Vercetti and Trevor Phillips have seen the majority of the in-ring action for their team, relentlessly striking D-Generation Ed with brutal strikes and devastating maneuvers, but Ed and Eddy have risen to the occasion like the former World Heavyweight Champions they are! But Nazz looks eager to get in the ring, as does Shenhua on the other side! Will we see the women finally make their presence known in this matchup, and which one of them is gonna win this thing?"

"Welp, time to see what's going on in catering. . ." Shake quipped, before Tommy and Ed respectively crawled toward their corners. . .

. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .

. . .wormed toward their partners a little more. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE SUCCESSFULLY TAGGING IN SHENHUA AND NAZZ, WHO CHARGED INTO THE RING TO CHEERS FROM THE CROWD!

"AND HERE COME NAZZ AND SHENHUA!" Frylock yelled, as Nazz and Shenhua met in the center of the ring in a tie-up, which Shenhua was quick to fight out of with a devastating haymaker! Nazz reeled backward in a daze until Shenhua followed that up with HARD palm strikes to the chest and face of the Assistant With Assets! The Taiwanese Assassin then nailed Nazz into the ropes with a jumping back kick, only for Nazz to rebound on the bounceback with a discus clothesline! The Assistant With Assets then pulled Shenhua up and hit her with a three-punch combination before pulling her towards herself and dropping her on her head with a twisting suplex! Before Nazz could go for the cover, Shenhua hit her in the temple with a back fist that sent her rolling onto the canvas over her! Shenhua pulled herself up to a standing position and pulled Nazz up by the hair before Irish whipping her into her corner and hitting her in the sternum with a dropkick! Shenhua then pulled Nazz up from behind with the intent of locking her in a sleeper hold. . .

. . .

. . .but Nazz fought out of it with a Pete Dunne-esque finger break maneuver! The Assistant With Assets then turned around to face her opponent before gripping both of her arms. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPING HER ON HER FACE WITH A LIFTING DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SITOUT FACEBUSTER!

"This is Nazz's first match since the Number One Contender's tournament back in July, and she is putting on a hell of a showing here in our main event!" Frylock said. "Alex may not recognize his client by the time this match is done!"

"Good, because then he'll kill Nazz with his dagger and we'll have one less incompetent female on our roster." Shake snapped, as Nazz went for the cover 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .SHENHUA KICKED OUT! NAZZ COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

"I can't believe you-never mind, I can believe you just said that, Shake. . ." Frylock groaned. ". . .just as I can't believe Shenhua got the shoulder up on that kickout!"

Nazz then pulled Shenhua up by the hair and struck her with a three-punch combination to the head before Irish whipping her HARD into the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .CAUSING HER TO FALL INTO A SEATED POSITION IN THE CORNER!

"Uh-oooooooooohhhhhhh. . ." foreboded Frylock, as Nazz made an X sign with her arms above her head before running into the opposite corner. "Shenhua's in the worst possible place she can be right now!"

"This next move is the only thing Nazz and our roster are good for!" Shake said, as Nazz gave Shenhua the D-X crotch chop. . .

. . .

. . .before charging forward. . .

. . .

. . .AND NAILING SHENHUA REPEATEDLY IN THE FACE WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER!

"ALEX MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE OR SMELL SHENHUA THE SAME WAY AGAIN AFTER NAZZ IS THROUGH WITH HER!" Frylock exclaimed. "IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE THE ASSISTANT WITH ASSETS LAND THE BRONCO BUSTER AGAIN!"

"You actually get a sexual thrill outta this?" snapped Shake. "You're more perverted than I thought. Still, I'd like to see her do this on a STRIPPER POLE rather than a human being."

After six hits, Nazz planted her feet onto the canvas below her, letting Shenhua slide into a flat, prone position on the mat. The Assistant With Assets then leapt over her and onto the middle rope before climbing up to the top turnbuckle!

"Now Nazz is looking to go airborne with the move that's won her several matches in PCUW!" Frylock called. "The Assistant With Assets is a former XCW Women's Champion in her own right. . .and what better way to show that you wanna go back to the top of that mountain. . ."

Nazz then sized Shenhua up before slowly reaching a standing position on the top rope as the fans reached their feet with anticipation. . .

. . .

. . .for Nazz to leap off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LAND THE STARSTRUCK ELBOW DROP!

". . .THAN THE STARSTRUCK ELBOW DROP?" finished Frylock, as Nazz went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A STOMP TO NAZZ'S LOWER BACK!

"OH COME ON!" Frylock shouted, as Tommy stared Nazz down before glaring at Ed and Eddy with the same look of fury, while D-Ed did the same from the corner.

"Tommy Ver-Goddamn-cetti CONTINUES to throw his weight around in our main event matchup!" Frylock called with disgust.

"No he didn't, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "He just wants to give Shenhua a better chance to win the match, because let's face it: The Taiwanese Assassin NEEDS the help because she's an incompetent BITCH."

After the Harwood Butcher climbed back over the second rope and stood on the ring apron, Shenhua willed herself up to a standing position while Nazz was clenching her lower back in pain on the mat. Shenhua then slapped her in the chest with FURIOUS strong style-esque strikes before following that up with Throwing Knives that caused Nazz to collapse onto the mat back-first! As the Assistant With Assets pulling herself up with the ropes, clenching her head from the impact, Shenhua ran against the ropes behind her and saw Nazz reach her feet. . .

. . .

. . .JUST IN TIME TO TAKE NAZZ DOWN WITH A RUNNING DRAGONRANA!

"And Shenhua followed up that series of DEVASTATING strikes with a running dragonrana!" Frylock called. "If Nazz isn't feeling whiplash from that, she damn sure is now!"

"She's gonna be feeling disappointment and SHAME after this, if anything!" Shake shouted. "Shenhua's going for the cover!"

Indeed, Shenhua crawled on top of Nazz and went for the cover, draping her arm over Nazz's body! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .NAZZ KICKED OUT! Shenhua kicked the mat with frustration!

"NOOOOOO! NAZZ STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE, MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF THE TAIWANESE ASSASSIN!" Frylock called.

"HOW DOES NAZZ KNOW WHERE THE HELL SHE IS?" Shake wondered. "SOMEBODY STOP THE MATCH! IT'S MATT HARDY ALL OVER AGAIN!"

"I think that's FAR from the case, Shake. . ." Frylock predicted. ". . .Nazz wants to prove that she belongs in the top tier of female talents in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling! There is no quit in the mind and soul of The Assistant With Assets!"

In a fury, Shenhua then pulled Nazz up by the hair and gripped both of her arms to send her FLYING into the corner with a wrist-clutch exploder suplex! Nazz landed on her head in an upside-down crumbled heap in the corner, and struggled to rise to her knees. Meanwhile, Shenhua stared her down from an opposite corner, stalking her with a malicious glare. . .

. . .

. . .before charging forward. . .

. . .

. . .AND NAILING NAZZ IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE KUKIRI SLICE!

"DEAR GOD!" cringed Frylock. "THAT KICK MAY HAVE KNOCKED NAZZ'S LIGHTS OUT!"

"IT BETTER HAVE!" Shake shouted, as Shenhua pulled Nazz into the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 EDDY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH AN ELBOW DROP TO THE BACK OF SHENHUA'S HEAD!

"NO! EDDY SAVED HIS FRIEND, MANAGER AND TEAMMATE!" Frylock yelled. "WHAT A LEADER!"

"AND WHAT A FIGHT HE'S IN FOR AFTER PULLING THAT CRAP!" Shake observed, as Tommy Vercetti and Trevor Phillips bolted into the ring, and Trevor knocked Ed clean off the apron with a right hand right between the eyes while Eddy and Tommy traded right hands until Tommy gained the upper hand with more consecutive strikes that knocked Eddy over the ropes and down to the ringside floor!

"IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY AND PANDEMONIUM RIGHT IN FRONT OF US, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Frylock screamed. "THE HARWOOD BUTCHER AND TREVOR PHILLIPS ARE BEATING THE HOLY HELL OUT OF ED AND EDDY!"

Trevor had slid out of the ring under the bottom rope and began stomping a mudhole into Ed, who was up against the barricade while Tommy resumed his brawl with Eddy, ramming him into the announcer's desk head and face-first! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Shenhua had pulled Nazz up and placed the bottom of her shoe against her head. . .

. . .

. . .AND HIT THE TAIWANESE ASSASSINATION-NO!

NAZZ GRIPPED HER LEG AND FIRED BACK WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE SIDE OF HER HEAD!

"WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK AT NAZZ!" Frylock screamed, as Shenhua stumbled toward the ropes in a daze. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL NAZZ TOOK HER DOWN WITH A RUNNING CORKSCREW NECKBREAKER!

"NAZZ IS IN CONTROL OF THE MATCHUP!" yelled Frylock, as The Assistant With Assets watched Shenhua try to push herself up to a standing position, but looked up to see Nazz give her the D-X crotch chop! With the fans on their feet cheering with excitement, Nazz gripped the Taiwanese Assassin in a headlock, and pointed at the ropes next to her. . .

. . .

. . .then leapt onto the middle rope. . .

. . .

. . .TO DRIVE SHENHUA FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH ALL THAT NAZZ!

"WHAT A SPRINGBOARD BULLDOG!" Frylock shouted. "SHENHUA FELT THE FORCE BEHIND ALL THAT NAZZ. . ."

Nazz turned Shenhua onto her back for the cover, hooking both legs! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE!" finished Frylock. "WHAT A MAIN EVENT!"

Nazz rose up to her knees from the cover as Shenhua rolled out of the ring, leaving The Assistant With Assets to raise her arms and shout, "WE WON!" in triumph after the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .D-GENERATIOOOOOOOOOON EEEEEEEEEEEEEED!"

"This sold-out Gravity Falls crowd has exploded for their fan favorite stable, D-Generation Ed!" Frylock called. "Tommy Vercetti, Trevor Phillips and Shenhua fought with brutal strikes, bad attitudes and nefarious tactics, but in the end, "The Assistant With Assets" Nazz has won the biggest match for herself and her faction in their entire tenure here in XCW thus far, and goes into Equal Pain with much-needed momentum! I'm confident a match for our first-ever all-women's pay-per-view will be in the cards for Nazz momentarily!"

"And make that the THIRD match tonight that's been ruined by our women's roster. Shenhua knocked Nazz SILLY with every strike and headshot after headshot, so how the hell is Nazz still upright? I call shenanigans, and from the looks on the faces of Tommy Vercetti and Trevor Phillips, they are, too!" Shake said, as Tommy and Trevor looked on at the referee raising Nazz's arm in victory with a sneer. . .until the Harwood Butcher slid into the ring and shoved the referee down!

"What the hell is this?!" Frylock wondered. "Talk about poor sportsmanship on the part of the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!"

"The wrong woman won tonight, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "Tommy's making my complaints for me!"

"I think there's more to this than that, Shake. . ." foreboded Frylock, as Tommy stared Nazz with a look of fury, but Nazz glared right back at him in a staredown. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL TREVOR DROPPED NAZZ ON HER FACE WITH THE SUPERWEAPON!

"OH COME ON!" Frylock shouted. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

"WHAT A HEADLOCK DRIVER, FRYLOCK!" yelled Shake. "I HEARD THE IMPACT ALL THE WAY FROM HERE!"

"NAZZ HAS JUST BEEN ASSAULTED BY TREVOR GODDAMN PHILLIPS!" screamed Frylock, as Ed slid into the ring and charged toward Tommy, while Eddy charged toward Trevor, who slipped out of the ring and pulled two steel chairs from under the apron!

"CAN SOMEBODY STOP THIS?" Frylock demanded, as Trevor slid a chair in the direction of Tommy before NAILING Eddy right between the eyes with an unprotected chair shot! Ed had gotten a few punches in on Tommy Vercetti, but the Harwood Butcher was quick to pick up the chair and strike Ed in the face with an unprotected chair shot of his own!

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" cringed Frylock. "ED'S BRAINS ARE SCRAMBLED!"

"THAT'S IF HE HAS ANY BRAINS TO BEGIN WITH!" added Shake, as Tommy continued to strike a now-prone Ed in the face and body with the steel chair, while Trevor Irish whipped a FURIOUS Eddy down the ringside floor until he HIT the ring post so hard, the impact echoed all over the arena! The D-Ed Leader stumbled around the floor in a daze until Trevor took him down with ANOTHER unprotected chair shot!

"DOUBLE D AND ROLF ARE BOTH OUT WITH INJURY! SOMEONE GET SECURITY OUT HERE! I MEAN IT!" Frylock implored, as Trevor slid Eddy into the ring by all three of his hairs while Tommy repeatedly rammed the top edge of the steel chair into the chest and gut of Ed! Trevor then slid the chair in front of Eddy's eyes before stepping into the ring and pulling him up to a standing position. . .

. . .only to drop him BACK down with The Superweapon on the chair!

"HOW CAN THESE MEN BE SO UNCARING?" Frylock screamed, as Trevor joined Tommy in hitting Ed with their steel chairs as the timekeeper rang the bell repeatedly, calling for the chaos to stop. . .while Nazz crawled toward Eddy!

"THIS IS HEINOUS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" shouted Frylock.

"TOMMY DOESN'T LIKE BEING MADE TO LOOK STUPID, FRYLOCK!" guessed Shake. "AND IN HIS EYES, D-GENERATION ED MADE HIM LOOK STUPID!"

"THIS IS IRRATIONAL! SOMEBODY STOP THIS MADNESS!" yelled Frylock, as Tommy turned his attention toward Eddy. . .

. . .

. . .who Nazz-crawled on top of. . .?"

"OH MY GOD! Nazz is trying to protect Eddy!" Frylock observed, as Tommy Vercetti looked down at both of them. . .

. . .

. . .before looking up at Trevor with a sinister look in his eyes. . .

. . .

. . .then tilted down to look at Nazz.

"What the hell are Tommy and-" wondered Frylock. . .

. . .

. . .until Tommy raised the chair up. . .

. . .

. . .AND REPEATEDLY NAILED NAZZ IN THE BACK WITH IT!

"NOOOO! NO! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" screamed Frylock, as the fans ERUPTED with boos. "TOMMY'S BEATING NAZZ UP WITH A STEEL CHAIR! THIS IS SICK!"

After Nazz rolled off Eddy after all the impacts to her chest and head, Tommy then repeatedly rammed the top edge of the chair into Nazz's gut and sternum, while Shenhua looked on at what was transpiring from a TV in the back with an ice pack against her head and Alex at her side, the latter of which looking more aghast with disgust over what was happening in the ring.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT'S SICK! I LOVE IT! That's what the kids mean when they say that these days, right, Fry-bizzle?" asked Shake.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, SHAKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE CONDONING THIS!" yelled Frylock, as Tommy threw the steel chair in front of her, and Trevor pulled a dizzy Nazz up by a handful of hair.

"NAZZ AND THE EDS MESSED WITH THE BULL BY STEPPING IN THE RING WITH TOMMY TONIGHT, AND NOW THEY'RE ALL GETTING THE HORNS!" Shake yelled. "Tommy and Trevor didn't just lay WASTE to D-Generation Ed here tonight, they declared WAR!"

"NAZZ IS DEFENSELESS!" cried Frylock. "AND BECAUSE TOMMY'S SO TIGHT WITH THE ANONYMOUS CHAIRMAN, NO WONDER THESE TWO ARE HAVING THEIR WAY WITH D-ED RIGHT NOW!"

Tommy stared Nazz down before squeezing the bottom of her face with his hand. . .

. . .

. . .then lifted her off her feet. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE DRIVING NAZZ ONTO THE CHAIR WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER!

"COME OHHHHHHHHH-NO! NO! NO!" screamed Frylock. "WHY?"

Tommy stood up and glared at Ed, Eddy and Nazz, who were all down and out in the ring surrounded by steel chairs. As the crowd erupted with DEAFENING boos, The Crazy Guy and the Harwood Butcher looked up at each other, with a smile of joy and satisfaction appearing on Trevor's face.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?" implored Frylock. "TREVOR PHILLIPS, TOMMY VERCETTI, AND THE V-CREST DYNASTY! THIS ALLIANCE IS DAMN SURE SICK, AND WHAT THE HELL CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?""

Tommy returned Trevor's look of satisfaction with a sadistic smile of his own as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

---

Results

Claude Speed and Spike Spiegel fought to a No Contest
The Sphere Hunters (Yuna and Rikku) defeated The Miyazaki Maidens (San and Nausicaa)(advance to the semifinals of the Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament)
Mario (c) defeated Smokey The Bear in an Open Challenge for the XCW World Television Championship (retains XCW World Television Championship)
Disnevolution (Merida and Rapunzel) defeated The Women of Marvel (Wasp and Jean Grey)(advance to the semifinals of the Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament)
D-Generation Ed (Nazz, Eddy and Ed) defeated Shenhua, Trevor Phillips and Tommy Vercetti in a Six-Person Intergender Tag Team Match

---

And that concludes this edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I hope it was worth the wait! As always, let me know what you think of my booking, and if my storylines and characters are inconsistent anywhere. Also, let me know if the picture-in-picture fictional commercials worked for ya! I'm trying something creative when it comes to skipping TV matches from the beginning to the end, and thought making a dig about wrestling's reliance on picture-in-picture would be fun. XD And a very special thanks to ForceWalker for supplying Nami's promo! It means a lot!

Now with one episode down and four more to go until Ecstasy of Gold, come more questions. Why did Tommy Vercetti and Trevor Phillips attack Nazz and D-Generation Ed after their match? Who will stand up to the Harwood Butcher and challenge him for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship? Who else will declare for the XCW Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal? Where was Casey Lynch tonight? Who will challenge Mario for the XCW World Television Championship next? And who else will advance to the semifinals of the XCW Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament?

All those questions and more will be revealed in the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! Part one of that will come soon. Until then, please READ, REACT AND REEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEW! XD