XCW: Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling

by Ivan Dallas Page

A new breed of animated wrestling enters the competition. Featuring characters from both cartoons and video games, as well as a variety of fight styles from mat-based to hardcore, there's no doubt that animated wrestling just got taken to the extreme! The Abolishment go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre is completed!

97. XCW Massacre: October Week 2 Part 2

And now, the 2nd half of the current episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I own nothing.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Double D was doing stretches in his locker room until Mimi Tachikawa stepped into it with a microphone in hand.

"Double D. . ." Mimi asked, ". . .tonight, in our main event, you are fighting Tommy Vercetti for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in your hometown of Peach Creek. After what happened last week and the way Tommy and the Three Crest Empire spoke to you earlier, what are your feelings going into this match?"

"Well, Mimi. . .to say I have a plethora of feelings at the moment is an understatement," replied Double D. "I feel the proverbial weight of D-Generation Ed on my shoulders, being its only member here tonight. . .I feel the same sorrow that you and Sora feel over Tai's fate at Abolishment. . .and for the first time in my life, I feel genuine contempt in my heart for someone. . .that someone being Tommy Vercetti and the Three Crest Empire. They robbed my friends and I the opportunity to reunite with our fans together. . .they assaulted them without pity or remorse. . .and they tried to make me feel degraded in front of the wrestling community I assisted in bringing together. But I have another feeling in addition to all that, and it's gratitude. Because tonight is my first opportunity for the World Heavyweight Championship in ANY fiction wrestling promotion. I never competed for it in WWE's Animation Division, I didn't compete for it in UIW, I never even competed for it in PCUW! Tommy can insult me all he wants; he can call me pathetic, he can call me weak and scrawny, he can call me a degenerate wimp, little does he know that he is only reminding me of all the naysayers and cynics that never believed I can be a main event player. . .that I am destined to be lost in the shuffle for eternity. . .but Ed and Eddy are former World Champions in PCUW and CWF respectively. . .to be in their company is the greatest honor I could achieve. And there is no better place to make history and become the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion than my HOMETOWN OF PEACH CREEK HERE TONIGHT!"

The crowd EXPLODED with cheers as Double D finished his statement, looking into the camera with a confident scowl.

"And if you don't like that, Tommy. . .I've got TWO WORDS FOR YA. . ."

Double D did the DX crotch chop to a shout of, "SUCK IT!" from the crowd, before looking back into the camera and saying,

". . .YOU'RE MINE."

Double D continued to stare into the camera with angered determination until the show transitioned to the arena, where "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played as Butters was waving his hands at the crowd from the top rope while Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

---

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall!" Carl announced. "Introducing first, in the corner to my left. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .you know him as the boy who laughs at a storm cloud. . .and turn a frown into a smile for free. . .he is LEOPOOOOOOOOLD…..'BUTTEEEEEEEEEEEERS'...STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!"

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and Double D looks more determined now than he did earlier tonight to face Tommy Vercetti in our main event here tonight for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!" Frylock informed. "But right now, we're moving onto our next match, which features Leopold "Butters" Stotch in singles competition!"

"This kid had his debut match against Spike Spiegel a month ago and stunk up the joint!" Shake reminded. "What the hell makes you feel any excitement about him having ANOTHER match? This kid shouldn't just go back to wrestling school, he should go back to elementary school and learn how to not be a complete retard!"

Butters looked up the ramp in excited anticipation. . .

. . .

. . .but his smile quickly fell into a look of fear. . .

. . .

. . .AS "SOME BODIES GONNA GET IT" BY THREE 6 MAFIA PLAYED?!

"OHHHHHHH NO. . ." Frylock exclaimed.

"OHHHHHHHH NOOOOW I'M EXCITED!" exclaimed Shake, as Butters' eyes widened in horror. . .

. . .

. . .UPON SEEING GARFIELD STOMP ONTO THE STAGE!

"Aaaaaaaaand his opponent. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .he is 'The World's LARGEST Cathlete'. . .GAAAAAAAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELD!"

Garfield stomped down the ramp, staring Butters down with an angry, determined facial expression, while Butters was pleading with the referee to call the match.

"Well. . .last week, this monster, Garfield, returned to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling after missing several months of action due to several injuries he suffered in a grueling Last Man Standing match against Tai Kamiya at Heatwave. . ." informed Frylock, ". . .but now he's returned with a new physique, a new attitude, and a new goal: win the first-ever Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal and go on to reclaim the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Animania! And he made that message VERY clear when he attacked Claude Speed AND Spike Spiegel in the middle of their match, and his words about it afterwards! And I shudder to think about all the possible things he's about to do to Butters right here in front of us tonight!"

Garfield climbed over all three ropes and stood in the center of the ring, punching his chest and shouting fighting words at the fans before turning to look in Butters' eyes, pointing at him and shouting a threat off-mic, causing him to cower in the corner in fear.

"You kidding me, Frylock? I can't WAIT to watch this kid get mauled!" Shake attested. "It's like a nature program come to life! Garfield's on a mission to prove he's not gonna let a dork like Jon Arbuckle or an idiot like Odie get in his way anymore! He's gonna win the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal by himself, and eat the other 29 men in it alive! Do ya think we can hire this guy to eat the kids that play on OUR lawn? That'll show Carl what happens when he tells ME to get outta his pool!"

The bell rang and the match began with Butters cowering in the corner in fear, putting his hands up in protest screaming, "PLEASE GO EASY ON ME, MISTER CAT! IF I LOSE THIS MATCH, I'M GONNA GET GROUNDEEEED!" But The World's Largest Cathlete had no sympathy if the angry look on his face was any indication. Garfield stomped toward him, only for Butters to dash out of the corner into the adjacent one. . .but Garfield sped into Butters' side before he could reach it, smothering him against the turnbuckles with an elbow smash to the face! The World's Largest Cathlete then pulled Butters up by what hair he had on his head, and put his finger up to his mouth to silence the crowd. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE SLAPPING BUTTERS HARD IN THE CHEST WITH AN OPEN-PALMED CHOP! As the crowd shouted, "OHHHHHHHHH!" in a collective unison after the impact, Butters cried in agonizing pain while stumbling out of the corner. . .

. . .

. . .until Garfield gripped him by the sides to lift him up. . .

. . .

. . .AND THRUST HIM ON HIS FEET WITH AN ATOMIC DROP! Butters grimaced in pain as his legs hit the canvas! But Garfield kept his grip on Butters' sides as he lifted him up again. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM ONTO THE CANVAS WITH ANOTHER ATOMIC DROP!

"GARFIELD IS JUST UNFORGIVING IN HIS FIRST MATCH BACK FROM INJURY!" Frylock cried, as Garfield lifted Butters up one more time. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN WITH ONE LAST ATOMIC DROP! Garfield finally let go of Butters, letting him fall face-first onto the mat. . .

. . .

. . .SO HE COULD STAND ON HIS BACK AND PULL DOWN ON THE ROPES TO ADD MORE PRESSURE!

"OH DEAR GOD! GARFIELD'S GONNA BREAK BUTTERS' BACK!" Frylock cringed, as Butters screamed in agonizing pain while the referee ordered Garfield to let go of the ropes, which he reluctantly did. . .but he remained standing on Butters' back. . .

. . .

. . .until he finally tapped out!

"Thank God this is over!" Frylock said, after Garfield stepped off Butters, letting the child clench his lower back in pain as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .'The World's Largest Cathlete. . .GAAAAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIIIIELD!"

"Well, who didn't see that coming?" Frylock wondered. "Garfield had the size advantage, the experience advantage, the stamina advantage. . .wait a minute, what the hell is happening?"

The referee raised Garfield's arm in victory, but Garfield. . .ripped it out of his grasp? With a dissatisfied look on his face, The World's Largest Cathlete then motioned for a microphone from the timekeeper, who immediately gave one to him.

"He may have something else going for him, Frylock. . ." Shake foreboded, as Garfield stepped into the center of the ring.

"Oh HELL no. . ." Garfield said, ". . .this ain't over yet. I've been gone for FOUR MONTHS. . .I recovered from all kinds of injuries. . .and THIS is all XCW has to offer me? Here's what I think. . .of XCW's idea for competition!"

Garfield then threw the microphone down. . .and lifted Butters HIGH above his head. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE LAUNCHING HIM OVER THE ROPES AND ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A RUNNING GORILLA PRESS SLAM! Butters hit the floor with his lower back and the back of his head with a sickening thud, selling his injuries in agonizing pain!

"GOOD GRIEF!" screamed Frylock. "WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?"

"It is if he wants more competition!" Shake yelled, as Garfield picked the microphone back up.

"I'm not ready to go to the back yet. I WANT ANOTHER FIGHT, BECAUSE I HAVE FOUR MONTHS WORTH OF WRESTLING TO CATCH UP ON! So whoever wants to come out here and fight me, DO IT NOW. . .

. . .

. . .AND LET ME EAT. YOU. ALIVE."

Garfield threw the microphone down and glared up the ramp at the stage, waiting for someone else to come onto it. . .

. . .

. . .and grinned maliciously upon hearing, "How I Could Just Kill A Man" by Cypress Hill! Soon after, Brucie ran down the ramp, motioning for people to follow him, and sure enough, CJ Johnson and Niko Bellic were stepping down the ramp behind him!

"Well, Garfield is hungry for more competition, and by God, he's gonna get it!" Frylock declared. "Either Brucie is an idiot with a death wish for himself, Niko Bellic and CJ Johnson, or he's confident that the Bohan Badasses have all the necessary skills to fell the World's Largest Cathlete!"

Brucie sat on the second rope, widening it open for CJ and Niko, who entered the ring by stepping above it. As Brucie shouted, "YEAH, HEATHCLIFF! WE'RE GONNA TAME YOUR ASS RIGHT HERE!", Niko climbed up a turnbuckle, scanning the crowd while CJ stood in front of a nearby corner, doing a last-second punching exercise.

"You kidding me, Frylock?" Shake exclaimed. "Brucie's mind is in the RIGHT place! Garfield beating up Butters is ONE thing, but now he's up against TWO men riding a high after their big win at XCW Abolishment! A win against the World's Largest Cathlete is gonna give them more attention than beating Claude Speed and The Mask ever did!

The bell rang and the match began with CJ and Niko charging toward Garfield. . .

. . .

. . .WHO IMMEDIATELY TOOK THEM BOTH DOWN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

"DEAR LORD!" cringed Frylock, as Brucie shouted, "OH COME ON! REF, THAT WAS ILLEGAL!"

Garfield then pulled Niko up by his jacket and Irish whipped him across the ring. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM WITH A SAMOAN DROP! As the World's Largest Cathlete pushed himself up to his knees, CJ began to hammer him with swift, repeated kicks to the kidneys. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD NO-SOLD THEM ON HIS WAY UP TO A STANDING POSITION! The World's Largest Cathlete then slugged CJ into a corner with a devastating uppercut before Biel throwing him into the center of the ring! The Grove Street OG cried in pain, clenching his lower back while Niko was pulling himself up to a standing position with the ropes as Brucie shouted, "CUT THE CRAP, REF! YOU'RE PLAYING FAVORITES!"

"It's hard to play favorites when two men are being as physically dominated as they are by the World's Largest Cathlete, Garfield!" Frylock called. "Is Brucie delusional?"

"He's in the right, as far as I'm concerned! It's the ref's job to call this in a way that makes it COMPETITIVE!" Shake snapped, as Garfield grabbed CJ by the throat. . .

. . .

. . .then strode toward Niko to grab HIM by the throat. . .

. . .

. . .AND LIFTED THEM BOTH UP HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD AND DROPPED THEM WITH A DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE!" cringed Frylock. "Garfield is UNSTOPPABLE!"

Garfield then pulled CJ on top of Niko before placing his foot on top of BOTH of them for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"And once again, Garfield is the winner!" finished Frylock, as Garfield snarled into the camera after the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .'The World's Largest Cathlete'. . .GAAAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIELD!"

Garfield stood up from the cover and the referee went to raise his arm in victory, but the World's Largest Cathlete swiped it away before shaking his head and stepping toward the microphone again!

"Garfield won his second match in what might as well be as many minutes!" Frylock said. "But he STILL doesn't look satisfied!"

"He's a cat that's hungry for DESTRUCTION, Frylock!" Shake said, as Garfield picked up the microphone and put it up to his mouth.

"I don't think I made my demands CLEAR ENOUGH. . ." Garfield snarled. ". . .I wanna show EVERYONE in the back, ALL THESE PEOPLE HERE, and EVERYONE at home. . .why I am the FAVORITE to win the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal! So SEND YOUR BEST-"

All of a sudden, Garfield was cut off-

-by "Tank" by The Seatbelts!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shake exclaimed, as the crowd popped with more cheers than boos for SPIKE SPIEGEL, who stepped onto the stage and down the ramp with a cigarette up to his mouth. . .

. . .and Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude flanking each of his sides!

"Spike Spiegel is looking for payback after Garfield's attack on him last week! And this time, he's brought cavalry of his own in the form of Twisted Villainy, Jude The Dude, and his behemoth of a tag team partner, Frederick von Twirlenkiller! Two giants are about to collide right here on Monday Night Massacre! Has Garfield met his match?"

The Original Space Cowboy climbed over all three ropes, before Frederick followed him in while Jude stood on a top turnbuckle, posing for the fans.

"I dunno, but I hope these two fatasses don't destroy the ring! We can't afford another one!" Shake declared, as the bell rang and the match began. . .

. . .upon which, Spike and Jude IMMEDIATELY smothered Garfield in a nearby corner with a series of strikes from both men! The two continued to barrage The World's Largest Cathlete with right hands until they Irish whipped him out of the corner. . .

. . .or, they WOULD have, if Garfield didn't headbutt Jude in the face before sending Spike reeling with a headbutt of his own! The World's Largest Cathlete then picked up Jude and put him on one of his shoulders and charged into the center of the ring to slam him down with a running powerslam! Garfield then reached a standing position. . .upon which, he saw himself standing face-to-face in front of Frederick von Twirlenkiller!

"The two largest men on the XCW roster have locked eyes for the first time!" Frylock called. "What's gonna happen in this titanic encounter?"

"The first man to fall ain't getting back up!" Shake declared, "Someone's gonna have to get around on a RASCAL from here on out!"

Garfield nailed Frederick with a right hand to the face, only for The Zyclun Killer to fire back with a right hand of his own, but Garfield responded with a clothesline that sent Frederick reeling into a nearby corner. Garfield then smothered Frederick with a series of shoulder thrusts in the corner. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL JUDE WENT FOR A SUPERKICK-

. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD CAUGHT HIS LEG BEFORE IT COULD MAKE IMPACT! The World's Largest Cathlete then lifted Jude by the legs into a seated position on his shoulders and dropped him onto the mat with a Michinoku Driver! Frederick then charged toward Garfield as he was standing up to go for a running knee strike, but Garfield caught him in a headlock with a quick counter and dropped him with a Russian leg sweep!

"How the hell did Garfield speed outta that jam?" Frylock wondered. "I've never seen anyone of his size move this quickly!"

"Did Jon Arbuckle put this tabby cat on some HGH?" Shake accused. "I DEMAND AN INVESTIGATION!"

Garfield then pressed his foot onto Frederick's neck, causing the Zyclun Killer to writhe and wheeze in pain! The referee started a five count, but Garfield only pulled onto the ropes to intensify the choke! Just as the referee's count reached four, though, Spike charged out of the corner and went for Real Folk Blues. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD CAUGHT HIM FOR A FIREMAN'S CARRY DROP OVER HIMSELF AND THE ROPES ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR! Spike cringed in agonizing pain after the impact, clenching his lower back on the floor. Meanwhile, with his foot off the neck of Frederick, the referee had stopped the count. Garfield then climbed onto the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND LANDED THE LASAGNA DROP ONTO FREDERICK'S HEAD AND NECK!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" cringed Frylock. "That's one way to keep a giant down! Garfield's entire weight may have snapped Frederick's neck in half!"

"Eh, he's a ROBOT. He'll get it screwed back on later!" Shake dismissed, as Garfield pulled himself up to a standing position and saw that Spike had not only made it back to his feet, but was also perched on a nearby top rope closest to the announcer's tables. He was still wincing in pain from the earlier bump to the outside floor, but nevertheless, he was sizing Garfield up. . .

. . .

. . .but then Garfield charged toward him. . .

. . .

. . .AND LEAPT ONTO THE MIDDLE ROPE. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE SLUGGING SPIKE WITH A RIGHT HOOK TO THE FACE THAT SENT HIM FALLING OFF THE TOP ROPE AND THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock screamed. "THE SHEER FORCE AND SPEED OF THAT RIGHT HAND SENT SPIKE RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE! HOW DOES HE HAVE SO MUCH AGILITY?! HE'S FIGHTING UNLIKE ANY BIG MAN I'VE EVER SEEN!"

"Send Meatwad to his litter box so he can gather a stool sample, PRONTO! I gotta know what this cat's doing so I get ME some o'that SHIT!" Shake demanded. "And while we're at it, get Spike to clean up the mess he made; he made me spill my Faygo!"

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Frederick was struggling to use the ropes to pull himself up. . .

. . .but Garfield caught him in a headlock from behind and drove his elbow into the Zyclun Killer's heart, successfully hitting the Final Cut! Garfield then turned around to pull Jude The Dude off the mat by the hair. . .

. . .

. . .AND DRIVE HIM ONTO THE CANVAS WITH THE DEATH BY MONDAY (World's Strongest Slam)!

"WHAT A DEVASTATING SLAM FROM THE WORLD'S LARGEST CATHLETE!" Frylock exclaimed, as Garfield remained on top of Jude for the cover 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"And Garfield's appetite for destruction BETTER be satisfied now!" Frylock called, as Garfield sat up from the cover with a wide smile on his face after the bell rang.

"The winner of this match. . .'The World's Largest Cathlete'. . .GAAAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELD!"

"Well, Shake, it looks like Garfield has indeed satisfied his cravings for competition here tonight. . .he didn't just beat ONE man, or TWO men, but SIX men in total!" Frylock informed. "He brutalized Butters, beat the Bohan Badasses to a pulp, tore apart Twisted Villainy, and shattered Spike Spiegel along with our announcer's table! The World's Largest Cathlete has made it VERY CLEAR that he not only has a new personality and new tricks up his sleeve, but also a new message that the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal runs through nobody else but HIM!"

Garfield pulled himself up to a standing position and raised both his arms in a triumphant pose, as the referee feigned raising one of them in victory.

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "This roided out cat is my pick to win for sure! He's gonna steamroll through everybody like a car chase through an orphanage! In fact, I don't feel a BIT of sympathy for anyone that lands a punch on Garfield come Ecstasy of Gold, because they're ASKING to get eaten alive! If you think ringside looks like a car wreck now, just wait until Ecstasy of Gold! TWENTY-NINE other men are gonna be strewn all over the outside area, and the last man standing that's going to the main event of XCW Animania. . .is The World's Largest Goddamn Cathlete. . .GARFIELD!"

Garfield climbed over all three ropes and started to stomp up the ramp, passing the strewn, battered bodies of Butters, CJ Johnson, Niko Bellic, Frederick and Jude on his way until the show cut to Frylock and Master Shake sitting in chairs at their announcer's table.

"It's certainly gonna be a hell of a night in Toontown for Ecstasy of Gold, Shake, but before that, we have another historic night in the making: and that's our first-ever all-women's pay-per-view, Equal Pain, where Sora Takenouchi will defend the XCW Women's Championship against "The Original Avenger" Wasp in a match that's being contested for the First Time Ever!" Frylock informed. "But after she and her tag team partner Jean Grey were eliminated from the Women's Tag Team Championship tournament last week by Disnevolution, The Crestbearer of Love tried to apologize for getting involved in the match, but Wasp insisted that she was irate with her for something other than that, and ladies and gentlemen, right now, we're gonna find out what's really going through the mind of Wasp with Equal Pain just 13 nights away, as she invited Sora to a private, one-on-one conversation at her home in Cresskill, New Jersey!"

---

"Oh great. . .we get The View: Late Night Edition. I'm on the edge of my friggin' seat." scoffed Shake, as the show faded to black. . .

. . .

. . .and then faded up on a wide shot of Wasp sitting at one end of her dinner table, staring at the empty chair across from it on the other end. All of a sudden, she hears a knock from off-screen and strides toward the front door of her house. She opens it to see Sora Takenouchi standing in her doorway with the XCW Women's Championship title belt draped over her shoulder.

"Hi, Janet!" Sora said, with a smile.

"Hey, Sora. . ." greeted Wasp, her eyes drifting to look at the belt over her guest's shoulder briefly before looking back at Sora. "Thanks for coming over! Did you find the place okay?"

"I did! Cresskill is easy to get around. . ." Sora replied, stepping inside and scanning the modern decor of Wasp's apartment. ". . .you have a lovely home!"

"Thanks. . .how's your arm?" Wasp wondered. "Casey did a number on it at Abolishment."

"It's better, thanks for asking!" Sora responded. "Still sore, but it's nothing rest can't solve. I'll be 100% by Equal Pain. Looking to steal secrets for your Equal Pain match strategy?"

Wasp chuckled to herself at the sarcastic remark.

"Perish the thought! I'm an Avenger. I wouldn't do anything like that. Do you like red or white wine? I have both." Wasp asked, as Sora made her way into her dining room.

"Red, please. . .merlot!" Sora said, sitting down at the island while Wasp popped open a bottle of merlot and halfway filled two wine glasses with red wine.

"Ask and you shall receive." Wasp said, before sliding one wine glass toward her guest. ". . .like you always do. . ."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sora wondered, before taking a sip of her wine.

"You should know, champ." Wasp replied, before taking a generous sip from her drink.

"Don't tell me you're jealous." Sora said, chuckling. "I never pictured a legend like you to be the bitter type."

"I'm not." Wasp assured, sipping her wine.

"Then why did you invite me over here?" asked Sora. "What's all this about? I apologized for getting involved in your match last week. Was that not enough?"

"No, Sora. It WASN'T." Wasp replied, raising her voice. "Because what this is REALLY about. . .is the fact that you're not just XCW Women's Champion. . .you're the Ace of Women's Wrestling. And there's no question that you deserve to be both. You are a phenomenal talent in the ring, and a wonderful human being outside of it. If you weren't here, the XCW's women's division wouldn't be what it is today. That's both a good thing…..and a bad thing."

Sora raised an eyebrow at Wasp's declaration, before taking a sip of her drink and continuing to listen to what she had to say.

"Because ever since you regained that title and beat Charlotte Flair at the FWAs, XCW has catered to your every whim and desire. YOU asked the anonymous chairman to push and sign new talent."

"Excuse me?" Sora asked, mouth agape. "I NEVER asked the chairman or Space Ghost to do ANYTHING for me. They saw what I was doing and wanted to build the women's division and elevate it AROUND me. That's why they signed as many women's tag teams as they did, and created the XCW Women's Tag Team Championships. That's why XCW is hosting an all-women's pay-per-view 13 days from now. That's why they bought YOUR IWF contract, and gave you a home to start your comeback. And did you forget that I was the first-EVER XCW Women's Champion? Of course they're gonna want to build the division around me!"

"And FORCE the 'Ace of Women's Wrestling' title on you!" added Wasp. "Our fans, as right as they are about you, put you on a pedestal as if you can do no wrong. . .but you can. In fact, you HAVE. Before you became the wrestler you are today, you were a damsel in distress. You spent weeks laying on a medical bed in our training rooms after anyone attacked you. You accompanied your husband to the ring whenever you could just to remind people of your marriage. You were involved in the most embarrassing entrance this industry's ever seen."

Sora took a BIG sip of her wine before letting out a sigh. "I have made mistakes. . .I tried things I shouldn't have done, and there have been moments where I should have been stronger and have been my own woman. . .but in those times, I wanted to be sure I was healthy before fighting again. I couldn't afford to worsen any injuries, because I wanted to see the Digi-Resurrection through. That's also why I was out there with my husband for his matches. Getting a fresh start was as important to us then as it is to you now."

"You don't know the half of it, Sora. . .because you know what REALLY frustrates me about you?" Wasp posed. "At the 7th Fiction Wrestling Awards, you said you would continue to grow yourself as a wrestler, a wife, a DigiDestined, a role model, and a person. You said you would live up to the prestige of your title, all your awards, and your new moniker, The Ace of Women's Wrestling. . .but you failed to acknowledge the wrestlers that came BEFORE you."

Sora's mouth dropped open agape at this accusation.

"You don't want to fight for the legacy of women's wrestling. Your silence in our direction tells me that you think of girls like me, Mars, Diana, Barbara, Lola, and Curaré, and all the female WCW and WWF alums as tired and washed up. You think you're better than all of us in our prime, and that not one of them poses a threat to you whatsoever. Well, I invited you here because I wanted to SHOW you THAT'S where you're wrong."

"No, YOU'RE wrong, Janet!" Sora interrupted. "Everything I do is to make fiction wrestling better than I left it. I have the highest regard for the women wrestlers that came before me, including you! If you're that upset about my FWAs speech. . .what do you want me to do? How do you want me to show you respect? I thought I did that by doing what other legends would do: I worked my hardest to stay in the best shape of my life, stay at the top of the wrestling mountain, and be the best wrestler, wife, friend, and hero I can be. I can't believe I'm hearing this slander from an Avenger, because this isn't hero-like at all; Janet. . .in fact, if you stayed active past 1998, it wouldn't be ME that's called the Ace of Women's Wrestling. . .it'd be YOU."

"Oh, don't patronize me. . ." Wasp dismissed, taking another drink from her wine.

"I'm not patronizing you!" insisted Sora. "I still remember where I was when you got hurt! Tai, Matt and I had ordered Souled Out just a few months before we were slated to debut for the WWF, and I saw you as one of my peers. Of all the WCW wrestlers I wanted to fight during the Attitude Era, you were the one I wanted to wrestle the most. But then. . .Granny Goodness did what she did, and I. . .I was inconsolable! But now we get to chat here face to face on the same roster. . .days before we fight for the first time EVER. . .and you're not sounding like the hero I respected all those years ago. In fact, the girl I was back then would be disappointed to hear your words tonight."

Tears had formed in Wasp's eyes as she heard Sora's retort. She dried her eyes with her arm before looking out the window next to her, choking back a sob and taking a beat to start speaking again.

". . .I'm sorry, Sora. . ." Wasp said, ". . .you didn't deserve to hear all of that. It's just. . ."

"Just what. . .?" Sora wondered, watching Wasp sigh with a look of empathy on her face.

". . .can I show you something?" Wasp asked, to a head nod from Sora.

The segment then cut to the dark interior of another room in Wasp's house. Everything is still until Wasp opens the door, revealing hers and Sora's silhouettes standing in the doorway. The Original Avenger turned on the light. . .

. . .

. . .and Sora's eyes lit up upon seeing Wasp's trophy room. It was decorated with a replica belt of the WCW Women's Championship, and a plethora of framed photos of Wasp posing with Wonder Woman, Curaré, The Mask, Sailor Mars and Batgirl, to name a few. The Crestbearer of Love then scanned the room to see framed newspaper clippings of Wasp's accomplishments in WCW, with headlines such as, "Wasp Wins Women's Title For WCW", and "Avenger Assembles Victory For WCW Gold". She stepped in front of the adjacent shelf, upon which her smile fell when she read a headline that said, "Neck Injury Stings Wasp", followed by one that read "Goodness Gracious; Granny Grounds Wrestler's Career", and a final headline that says, "Wasp Injured; Is Wrestling Career Done?".

"Janet. . .this is amazing. . ." Sora remarked, before turning the corner to see. . .an empty shelf? "What are you going to put here?"

"Nothing. . .yet." Wasp responded, after which, Sora turned around to face her opponent.

"Your career has been defined by what you, Tai and Matt did in the Attitude Era, and your comeback. . .while every morning, I look at that empty space to remind myself that my entire wrestling career has been defined by my INJURY. That's why I need to beat you, Sora. . .I need to beat you more than you could ever imagine. Because at this point, I have more to prove than you do. I need to prove to you, and to all of our fans, and to all of our peers that I can still wrestle at the top of my game after my seven-year road to recovery. I need to prove that my one title win in the 90s wasn't a fluke. I need to prove that I am one of the top female wrestling talents in this game, bad neck be damned, and the only way to do that. . .is to make history at XCW's first-ever all-women's pay-per-view. . .by walking into Amity Park, and taking down The Ace of Women's Wrestling for the FIRST. TIME. EVER."

Sora stepped toward Wasp, with a stern but nuanced expression on her face.

"Janet. . .it's no secret you've been through so much." Sora said. "I sympathize with you and your journey, because I've been down that path, more so mentally than physically. You're a living legend and a real hero, there's no doubt about that. . .but I'm both those things, too. I've been dreaming of fighting you for the past FOURTEEN YEARS. . .and now that this dream match is finally coming true, I cannot take it for granted. I love you as a person with all the love I have in my heart. . .but if there's anything I have left to prove. . .it's that love can win any and every battle. . .that I fight with the strength of all the legends that came before me. . .and most of all, that I DESERVE to be the Ace of Women's Wrestling. I told everyone at the FWAs that having that title plants a target on my back. . .and I couldn't be happier that you're the next person to come for it. Just know this. . .when I step into the ring, I expect nothing less than the best from my opponents. . .so I will not go easy on you. Equal Pain brings a first-time ever match between the two of us. . .

. . .

. . .but only ONE of us can be the BEST."

Sora and Wasp stared each other down until the show faded to a commercial break.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Casey Lynch was striding down a hallway until-

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Casey turned in the direction of the voice, seeing Mimi Tachikawa stepping up to her with a distressed expression on her face.

"You know you need a microphone to conduct an interview, right?" Casey snarked.

"I'm not HERE to interview you, Casey. . ." Mimi responded, scowling. "Where were you last week?"

"What's it to you?" Casey responded.

"Oh nothing, except one of our fellow female wrestlers happened to be ASSAULTED by your ex-boyfriend last Monday night!" snapped Mimi. "And YOU didn't stand up to him!"

"That has NOTHING to do with ME." Casey stated. "His business is out of my life, and out of my mind, and that's the way it's gonna stay. Now I can focus on ME and the XCW Women's Championship."

"That's funny, I don't see it around YOUR waist. . ." Mimi observed, ". . .being self-absorbed must not be GOING WELL FOR YOU."

"I haven't been here FIVE MINUTES and already I'm being hounded for NO REASON." Casey shouted. "Why is all that ANY of your business?!"

"Because Tommy's put FOUR too many people in the hospital in the last two weeks, and one of them is my best friend's husband!" Mimi responded. "I thought you would care enough to do something about him because of how INFAMOUS you two WERE. . .but I guess I was wrong. . ."

Casey paused, taking Mimi's disappointment in before finally responding with, ". . .look. . . I had some sorting out to do, alright? That's why I wasn't here last week. I'm sorry about Tai and I feel horrible for Nazz, but there's no reason for you or anyone to look around for someone to blame when the culprit is holding the World Heavyweight Championship!"

Tears had formed in Mimi's eyes. . .

. . .

. . .until she suddenly lunged toward Casey, gripping her in a death hug. The Goddess of Rock held her arms out level with her shoulders as a reflex, cringing from the pain.

"OH MY GOD CASEY I'M SO SORRY FOR SNAPPING AT YOU!" exclaimed Mimi. "I'M JUST UNDER A LOT OF STRESS BETWEEN NAZZ'S ASSAULT AND PREPPING FOR EQUAL PAIN! I'M THANKFUL TAI'S COMING BACK NEXT WEEK, BECAUSE NO ONE FEELS SAFE HERE ANYMORE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

". . .I. . .understand. . ." Casey squeaked, as her face turned blue from the grip of Mimi's hug, but she patted her back a couple times to offer a semblance of comfort. . .

. . .

. . .but then. . .the lights started to flicker. . .?

". . .what the hell is that?" Casey wondered. "Did you forget to unplug your hair dryer?"

"I doubt it. . .Mimi said, pulling away from The Goddess Of Rock. . .

. . .until the power suddenly went out.

"Okay, what the hell is going on. . .?" Casey asked. "Can you believe this is happening, Mimi?...Mimi…? Are you there….?

The Goddess Of Rock stumbled through the darkness of the hallway. . .

. . .

. . .until she heard the following words from an unnerved female voice. . .

. . .

". . .no, Casey. . ."

Casey whipped around in the direction of the voice. . .

. . .

. . .and could make out a bright white, but blood-covered wedding dress in the darkness at the far end of a hallway before she heard the next line. . .

. . .

. . .YOU'RE THE CULPRIT."

All of a sudden, the lights turned back on. . .and the figure was nowhere to be found. . .?

"Weird. . ." Casey said to herself, before leaving the scene-

-UNTIL BLOODY MARY CAME FROM OUT OF NOWHERE TO HIT HER IN THE TEMPLE AND KNOCK HER AGAINST THE WALL WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!

"WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S BLOODY MARY!" Frylock exclaimed, as Bloody Mary pulled Casey up by the hair and repeatedly RAMMED her face-first into the wall until she was busted open!

"The last time we saw Bloody Mary was in a number one contendership tournament for the XCW Women's Championship! But what does she want with The Goddess of Rock, Casey Lynch?" Frylock wondered.

"And where the hell did Mimi disappear to?" Shake added. "Is she finally making me a hoagie like I asked her in catering a week ago?"

"HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT CATERING AT A TIME LIKE THIS, SHAKE?" Frylock exclaimed, as Bloody Mary turned Casey around and PINNED her against the wall by the neck, staring daggers into her eyes.

". . .yes, Casey. . .YOU'RE the culprit. . .for a MYRIAD of things." Bloody Mary sneered. "You see. . .we're not so different, you and I. You're obsessed with finding true love. In your case, you HAD it. . .but like all of the men in this world, he revealed his true colors and left you for DEAD. And yet, you continued to pursue a different kind of love in the ring. I watched you get match after match. . .and title shot after title shot. . .for month. . .after MONTH. And you SQUANDERED every chance you had to gain the love and recognition you CRAVE. . .while I waited back here night after night for a title shot to come MY way. But NOW, with Equal Pain on the horizon. . .I'M not going to wait any longer. I'M calling my shots. I'M going to massacre each and every woman that crosses my path. . .because all my life, I've been destined to be always a bridesmaid, never a bride. . .but that CEASES NOW. . .

. . .

. . .AND IT STARTS WITH YOU. . .GOING BELLY-UP."

Bloody Mary then hooked Casey's arms and spun around. . .

. . .

. . .TO DROP HER FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR WITH THE SILVER SIXPENCE (Straightjacket Neckbreaker)!

"GOOD GOD!" exclaimed Frylock, as Bloody Mary stood up, dusting her shoulders up before looking down at Casey, who was gushing blood while laying motionless on the floor!

---

"SOMEBODY GET SOME HELP BACK THERE FOR CASEY!" Frylock implored, as Bloody Mary strode away from the scene, leaving Casey bloodied while an EMT made his way down the hallway toward her until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!"

All of a sudden, a siren went off, causing the fans to explode into a frenzy of cheers! The siren continued to ring on the Titantron until the crowd chanted in unison to the next two words to come from the Titantron. . .

. . .

". . .YOU. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOT!"

Then pyro EXPLODED three times on the stage as Scott Steiner's TNA theme played, and Ren and Stimpy strode onto the stage and down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .REN AND STIMPY!"

"This match was originally supposed to take place on last week's edition of Monday Night Massacre, but thanks to The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti going to the anonymous XCW chairman to make the main event after which, saw D-Generation Ed brutally assaulted, it got bumped to tonight. Here's hoping that patience is a virtue for the first-ever XCW Tag Team Champions, Ren and Stimpy, who found Stan, Kyle and Kenny in the backstage area at Abolishment and told them they wanted to get the bad taste of the loss they took to the Knighthood of Assassins out of their mouths!" informed Frylock, as Ren and Stimpy strode down the ramp, making a beeline for the ring, which they slid into under the bottom rope and posed on opposing turnbuckles toward the fans.

"Yeah, and the South Park Four want to fight for the XCW Tag Team titles again like a gaggle of RETARDS because getting beaten by the Knighthood of Assassins three months in a row just isn't enough for 'em!" Shake snapped. "But these two filthy slobs think the tag division goes through THEM, just because they were its first champs back in the day, which is what led to this match getting made. As far as I'm concerned, both Ren and Stimpy AND the South Park Four can go catch the shortbus to the next town for all I care, because both these teams are chasing their tails with nowhere to go!"

Ren and Stimpy stepped off their corners and looked up the ramp with anticipation. . .

. . .

. . .until "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played to cheers from the crowd!

"And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the team of 'The South Park Extremist' and 'The South Park Submitter'. . .KENNY MCCORMICK. . .AND KYLE. . .BROOOOOOOOFLOOOOOOOOOOVSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Ren and Stimpy rubbed their respective hands together, grinning with excitement as they looked at the stage. . .

. . .

. . .but neither Kenny nor Kyle appeared on the stage?

"What the. . .well, that's the South Park Four's entrance music playing. . .but where are Kyle and Kenny?" Frylock wondered, as the show suddenly cut to the backstage area. . .

. . .

. . .where Space Ghost was kneeling in a hallway by the door to the South Park Four's locker room!

"Oh God. . .Mimi! Dredd! Get some help back here!" Space Ghost demanded, before looking back at the scene with his mouth covered and eyes wide in disbelief.

"First Casey gets assaulted, now THIS? What the hell is going on here?" Frylock asked, as the cameraman turned to look inside the locker room. . .

. . .

. . .and revealed a decapitated Kenny McCormick, a choked out Kyle Broflovski, who had red chain marks all around his neck!

"OH MY GOD!" Frylock exclaimed. "THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARDS!" shouted Shake, as EMTs entered the room to place Kyle on a gurney. "You can't possibly tell me that the Knighthood of Assassins still have a bone to pick with this faction despite kicking their asses to Kingdom Come, do they?"

"Come on, guys. . .be gentle with him," said the head EMT, who all of a sudden, felt something drip onto his head. He felt the wet spot on the back of his head. . .

. . .

. . .and saw that it wasn't water. . .but blood? The EMT glared at his hand in alarm before looking up. . .

. . .

. . .AND SEEING THE HALO OF THE SUN SYMBOL WRITTEN IN BLOOD ON THE CEILING!

"HOLY CRAP, FRYLOCK!" exclaimed Shake. "No one in the Knighthood has an artistic bone in their body to wanna paint some hippy crap like THAT!"

"This is too OCCULT for them. . .it's safe to call the South Park Four marked men, though, Shake! This is the second time in three weeks that symbol's been left near them! I hope they have a speedy recovery and learn who their attackers are sooner rather than later!" Frylock said.

"Let's hope they don't start their own detective agency, though. . ." Shake foreboded, ". . .we've seen enough of those for one year."

"But Ren and Stimpy haven't seen a victory since before Shockwave! Who are they gonna fight now?" Frylock said, as the show cut back to the ring, where Ren and Stimpy were looking at each other, concerned and confused over what transpired. . .

. . .

. . .until the following phrases bellowed from the Titantron. . .

. . .

ICON NO MORE.

ASSASSIN FOR LIFE.

All of a sudden, "Lift Me Up" by Five Finger Death Punch played. . .

. . .

. . .and out to the stage came DAFFY DUCK and a forlorn looking BUGS BUNNY, both clad in Knighthood merchandise to BOOS from the crowd as The Knighthood Strategist posed for his public, while Bugs weakly waved to them.

"And their NEW opponents. . .representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .now residing in The Riverlands of Westeros. . .the team of 'The Knighthood Strategist'. . .and 'The Hyraxian Assassin'. . .DAFFY DUCK. . .AND BUUUUUUUUUUUUGS BUUUUUUUUUUNNYYYYYYY!"

Daffy blew kisses to the crowd with his free hand, turning back and forth toward the fans on the opposite sides of the barricade to do so while dragging Bugs down the ramp by his arm with his other arm. Meanwhile, Ren and Stimpy looked on at this with incensed looks on their faces.

"Well Shake. . .just because a moment like this was inevitable doesn't make it all the more solemn. . ." Frylock declared, ". . .last week, we saw Bugs Bunny get initiated into the Knighthood of Assassins in a hellacious knighting ceremony that came about after he said I Quit to his longtime rival Daffy at Abolishment. And earlier tonight, Ren and Stimpy stood up to the Knighthood when the now-former Animation Icon was made to carry all of the Knighthood's luggage into the arena! Do you think this is a means of retaliation on the part of Daffy, Shake?"

Daffy entered the ring over the middle rope and climbed onto the top rope, only to motion for Bugs to go up with him. The Hyraxian Assassin then sighed, climbing up to the middle rope. . .

. . .

. . .and lifting Daffy up by his waist, allowing The Knighthood Strategist to taunt the fans, who were now booing at a DEAFENING volume!

"Ren and Stimpy challenged for the XCW Tag Team titles outright when they stood up for Bugs earlier, Frylock. . ." added Shake, ". . .suppose this is Daffy's way of scouting them to see if they're wrestlers on the same caliber of Scorpion and Sub-Zero? As the holders of those titles, the LAST thing Scorpion and Sub-Zero should be defending them against are living TURDS like these retarded animals, no matter what kinda redemption story they wanna fulfill! And look at Bugs! He's holding Daffy with strength I bet he didn't know he had! He'll make a FINE addition to the Knighthood of Assassins for sure, while Ren and Stimpy will fit perfectly in their LOSS column!"

Frylock sighed. "Why are you the way that you are?"

"Because I'm awesome and a genius!" Shake replied. "And that's a goddamn FACT."

Bugs and Daffy stepped off the corner. . .

. . .

. . .AND WERE IMMEDIATELY MET WITH RIGHT HANDS FROM STIMPY AND REN, RESPECTIVELY, PROMPTING THE BELL TO RING AND THE MATCH TO BEGIN!

"Well, what is most certainly a fact is that Ren and Stimpy don't want to waste any more time!" Frylock called. "And can you imagine what's going through their minds as they fight the former Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny for the first time under his current unfortunate circumstances?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what's going through their minds; they're thinking about the toilets they're gonna be eating from after they lose this match and not get the winner's payout!" Shake predicted. "That's the last thing they want, but it's what they're going to GET!"

Ren was bludgeoning Daffy with a series of kicks in one corner while Stimpy was hammering away on Bugs with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust. The Asthmahound Chihuahua then leapt up for an enziguri, only for Daffy to grab Ren's legs and sweep them down! Daffy then catapulted Ren into the air and right into Stimpy, knocking him away from Bugs and through the ropes, onto the ringside floor! The referee then ordered Daffy and Bugs into their corners, while Ren and Stimpy stumbled toward their own corner. Daffy commanded Bugs to start the match for himself, while Stimpy declared he would start the match for himself and Ren. Stimpy then stepped into the ring, looking at Bugs with large puppy dog eyes in sympathy. Stimpy then implored the newly-dubbed Hyraxian Assassin to come to their side, motioning for a hug. Bugs then turned to look at Daffy, who was hopping mad and demanding him to "kick the dumb cat's ass". Bugs then turned back to look at Stimpy with sad resignation. . .

. . .

. . .until an ENRAGED Daffy slapped Bugs HARD on the back to tag himself in!

"Bugs. . .looked like he didn't want to put up a fight, Shake!" Frylock observed. "He doesn't wanna fight the same people that wanted to help him earlier tonight!"

"If you ask me, he's gotta do it no matter what kinda faces Stimpy makes!" Shake snapped. "Bugs made his bed, now he's gotta SLEEP IN IT, no matter how many cumstains are on the sheets! But now it looks like Daffy's gonna pick up his slack, the COWARD."

Daffy entered the ring over the second rope and charged toward Stimpy, knocking him down with a high knee strike. The Knighthood Strategist then gripped onto the ropes on both sides of him and repeatedly stomped all over Stimpy's body with a series of angry stomps to boos from the crowd until Ren sent Daffy reeling into the center of the ring with an enziguri! Stimpy then tagged in Ren, who launched himself into the ring over all three ropes. Ren then charged toward Daffy and took him down with a two-handed bulldog, then landed a 360 jumping leg drop across his chest! Ren went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Ren pulled the Knighthood Strategist up and slugged him with a series of right hands before Irish whipping him across the ring into a corner, causing Daffy to collide so hard into it that he bounced off it, right into a snap scoop powerslam from Ren! The Asthmahound Chihuahua then went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

Ren then pulled Daffy up and went for a right hand, but Daffy blocked it with his free arm and responded to it with a thumb to Ren's eye! The Knighthood Strategist then gripped Ren by the head and dropped him with a reverse suplex, then pulled him back up only to drop him onto his tailbone with a backpack stunner! Gritting his teeth, Daffy reached a vertical base and charged toward Ren, kicking him into the corner with a strike to the chin! Daffy then smothered Ren with a series of knee thrusts before mudhole stomping Ren with feet to the chest! Daffy then pulled Ren into the center of the ring and catapulted him into a nearby top turnbuckle, causing the Asthmahound Chihuahua to stumble around the ring in a daze until Daffy dropped Ren in the center of the ring with a sitout spinebuster! Daffy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ren kicked out! Daffy then pulled Ren up in a side headlock and dropped him with a side headlock takedown before pulling him back up and dropping him on his head with a DDT! Daffy went for the cover again, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Ren kicked out!

"Daffy's establishing absolute BRUTALITY in the early goings of this match! Will he even let Ren make the tag?" Frylock wondered.

"I doubt it, Frylock!" predicted Shake. "Daffy's fighting for TWO men from the looks of how Bugs started this match, and as the Knighthood Strategist, he's about to show his newest recruit what fighting with honor among assassins looks like!"

Daffy pulled Ren up and Irish whipped him into his corner and extended his arm for a tag. . .

. . .

. . .but Bugs DIDN'T tag in!

"The Hyraxian Assassin wants NOTHING to do with this tag team match! And the Knighthood Strategist doesn't like it one bit!" Frylock observed, as Daffy's eyes widened in furious anger. . .

. . .

. . .until Ren blindsided Daffy with a jumping tiger feint kick to the head that sent him reeling through the ropes and onto the apron!

"BUT LOOK AT REN!" Frylock shouted, as the crowd popped for Ren's resilience! Daffy tried to pull himself up with the ropes on the apron. . .

. . .

. . .completely unaware that Ren had climbed up to the top rope! The Asthmahound Chihuahua then sized Daffy up. . .

. . .

. . .before leaping off the top turnbuckle. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE APRON WITH A DRAGONRANA! Ren's momentum sent him crashing onto the floor face and head-first while the impact on Daffy's end sent him falling face-first onto the floor, clenching his lower back in pain while the crowd chanted, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"REN MAY HAVE BROKEN THE KNIGHTHOOD STRATEGIST'S ASS AND THEN SOME WITH THAT DRAGONRANA ONTO THE APRON!" Frylock screamed. "I'm not sure who hurts more from that; Ren or Daffy!"

"THIS IS BULLSHIT, FRYLOCK!" Shake yelled. "Daffy was distracted by his disobedient teammate to the point where he forgot he was close to THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING! But thankfully Ren is dumb enough to use a move that hurt himself as much as it did his opponent!"

"Who's gonna gain the upper hand in this tag team match between Ren and Stimpy and Bugs and Daffy of the Knighthood?" Frylock wondered, as Ren and Daffy were wincing in pain, clenching their head and back, respectively, until the show transitioned to later in the match, where Ren had Daffy knelt in the center of the ring with a series of kicks to his chest, but Daffy spun out of harm's way before Ren could land a third one! The Knighthood Strategist then leapt up and dropped Ren with a sitout jawbreaker! Both men were down in the center of the ring until Ren crawled toward Stimpy and Daffy crawled toward Bugs!

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre ladies and gentlemen, and Ren and Stimpy have been in total control since before the commercial break!" Frylock informed. "And no matter how many tags Daffy tries to make to the newly-recruited Hyraxian Assassin, Bugs Bunny will not tag in!"

"That's totally gonna come back to haunt Bugs sooner rather than later, but I wonder if he even cares about wrestling at this point!" Shake yelled, as Stimpy was slapping the turnbuckle repeatedly, ramping up anticipation from the crowd as Ren and Daffy respectively crawled toward their corners. . .

. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .

. . .wormed toward their partners a little more. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE REN SUCCESSFULLY TAGGED IN STIMPY. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE BUGS STEPPED OFF THE APRON BEFORE DAFFY COULD TAG HIM IN!

"HE LEFT DAFFY HANGING AGAIN, SHAKE! BUGS IS LEAVING HIM OUT TO DRY AGAIN!" Frylock yelled, as Bugs looked forlorn at the fans along the barricade as they chanted, "FREE BUGS BUNNY!" and clapped five times before chanting "FREE BUGS BUNNY!" again.

"There's just. . .no passion whatsoever in the eyes of Bugs Bunny. . ." Frylock observed, as Daffy shouted, "OH COME ON!" off-mic in the ring. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL STIMPY PULLED DAFFY UP BY THE ARMS AND DROPPED HIM WITH A FULL NELSON BOMB! The impact sent Daffy flying upwards and onto the mat, where he crashed onto his tailbone with a thud! The Knighthood Strategist clenched his lower back in pain from the impact until Stimpy bumped him into the corner with a corner splash! Stimpy then hammered away on Daffy with a series of right hands before gripping onto his neck and running forward. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ON HIS FACE WITH THE LOG CUTTER! Stimpy then kipped up and screamed, "UP!" at the crowd, prompting the fans in the stands to erupt with cheers while Ren climbed up to the top rope from his corner!

"Bugs' lack of enthusiasm has Daffy in No Man's Land!" Frylock said, as Stimpy spread Daffy's legs apart so they were facing Ren. . .

. . .

. . .and screamed, "WASSUUUUUUUUUUUP?" at the top of his lungs to Ren, who yelled it back at him. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE LANDING A DIVING HEADBUTT TO RIGBY'S GROIN! The Knighthood Strategist writhed in pain as Ren and Stimpy celebrated the execution of their move. . .

. . .

. . .until Stimpy shoved Ren and screamed, "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

As the fans continued to cheer for the ECW Blood and Ink originals, Ren shouted, "WHAT?", to an incensed Stimpy, who was foaming at the mouth as he screamed, "LET'S END THIS!"

Stimpy then pulled Daffy up to a standing position so Ren could send him reeling against the ropes with the Van Hoekinator! The Knighthood Strategist bounced off the ropes and stumbled back toward Stimpy. . .

. . .

. . .who caught him by the legs on the bounceback. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE REN CAUGHT DAFFY'S ARMS TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH THE R&S DEATH DROP!

"THE R&S DEATH DROP CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed, as Stimpy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"AND REN AND STIMPY GET THE WIN OVER THE KNIGHTHOOD!" Frylock called, as Stimpy stood up from the cover with his hands raised, before he and Ren bumped their butts together (like when they danced to Happy Happy Joy Joy in Stimpy's Invention) in celebration!

"The winners of this match. . .REEEEEEEEEEEN AAAAAAAAAAAAND STIIIIIIIIIIMPYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Well, it may have been essentially a handicap match, but a win against Daffy Duck is still worth celebrating-HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock shouted, as the referee went to raise Ren and Stimpy's arms in victory. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH AND SOLID SNAKE AMBUSHED THEM FROM BEHIND!

"THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS ARE COMING TO THE AID OF THEIR STRATEGIST!" Frylock yelled, as Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth continued to stomp a mudhole into Ren and Stimpy while Daffy rolled out of the ring and made a beeline for Bugs, grabbing him by the ears!

"AND DAFFY'S COMING RIGHT FOR BUGS! SERVES 'IM RIGHT!" added Shake, as even Scorpion and Sub-Zero entered the ring to stomp the hell out of Stimpy while Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake focused on Ren. Sweet Tooth then grabbed Ren by the throat and lifted him high off the mat. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM ONTO SNAKE'S KNEES FOR A CHOKESLAM/BACKSTABBER COMBINATION! Ren rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope, clenching his back in pain while Scorpion lifted Stimpy off his feet. . .

. . .

. . .FOR HIM AND SUB-ZERO TO CONNECT WITH THE EXECUTION!

"THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS HAVE DECIMATED REN AND STIMPY!" Frylock called, as Stimpy rolled out of the ring.

"THEY FIRMLY BELIEVE REN AND STIMPY DIDN'T DESERVE THAT WIN, AND THEY MADE 'EM PAY FOR GETTING IT. . ." Shake snapped, as Scorpion, Solid Snake, Sub-Zero and Sweet Tooth were left standing in the ring with furious scowls on their faces. . .

. . .

. . .until Daffy threw Bugs over the second rope and into the center of the ring!

". . .because it was BUGS that was responsible for it!" finished Shake, as Daffy joined Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth in surrounding the Hyraxian Assassin in a circle.

"You violated a portion of our CODE, BUGSY. . ." spat Daffy into a microphone. ". . .thy brothers leave thy foe to feel just thy might. Hanzo, Kuai, Needles and Dave here TRUSTED you to make our opponents suffer. . .but you didn't wanna throw a punch. Wrestling as a member of the Knighthood is a WHOOOOLE different ball game, pal. . .so, if you don't wanna FIGHT with Honor Among Assassins. . .

. . .

. . .allow us to SHOW YOU how it's done."

Daffy then threw the microphone onto the mat. . .

. . .

. . .AND JOINED SCORPION, SUB-ZERO, SOLID SNAKE AND SWEET TOOTH IN GANG STOMPING BUGS BUNNY!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed. "THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS IS PUMMELING THEIR NEWEST MEMBER INTO OBLIVION! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!"

"BUGS BROUGHT IT ON HIMSELF, FRYLOCK!" Shake reminded. "HE DIDN'T MOVE A MUSCLE WHEN THE KNIGHTHOOD CALLED UPON HIM!"

"HE DIDN'T HAVE AN OUNCE OF EXCITEMENT TO BE OUT HERE, SHAKE!" insisted Frylock. "Being a member of the Knighthood has drained the soul of the former Animation Icon! He's letting these Assassins have his way with him!"

"So he DOES know what's good for 'im." Shake said, as the crowd EXPLODED with boos over the Knighthood VICIOUSLY stomping all over Bugs's prone body, until Daffy pulled Bugs up by the ears. . .

. . .

. . .AND TOSSED HIM TOWARD SCORPION, WHO DROPPED HIM WITH THE FATALITY! Daffy jumped up and down in celebration, pumping a fist at Scorpion, who just glared at the Knighthood Strategist with a malicious glare of intensity. . .

. . .before tossing Bugs by the ears back into DAFFY. . .

. . .

. . .WHO IMMEDIATELY DROPPED HIM ON HIS TEETH WITH THE KILLSWITCH!

"OOOOOOH! GOOD GOD!" Frylock cringed, as Daffy stood up from the move to MASSIVE boos from the crowd, to stare Bugs' prone body down and say off-mic. . .

". . .YOUUUUUUUU'RE DETHPICABLE."

Daffy looked up at the fans in the stands, booing and shouting a deafening chant of, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" while standing in the center of a row with Scorpion and Sub-Zero to his right, and Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake to his left as they all did the cutthroat taunt in unison.

"The feeling's mutual, Daffy!" Frylock shouted. "Who the hell can POSSIBLY stop the Knighthood of Assassins from taking over this company with their Ecstasy of Gold?"

Daffy and the Knighthood of Assassins stared angrily into the camera, with Daffy's foot on Bugs' body until the show faded to a commercial break.

---

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Spongebob walked into Mario's locker room with two giant jawbreaker candies under his arms.

"Hey, Mari-buddy! I got us two strawberry jawbreakers for the road!" Spongebob said, only to trail off upon seeing the Champion of Life was sitting on the bench in contemplation. "What's wrong, buddy?"

Mario sighed. "Well, Sponge-a-bob. . .there's just a-something I feel we need to have a heart-to-heart talk about before we leave. . ."

"I'm all ears, Mario!" Spongebob assured.

". . .well. . .I'm concerned." admitted Mario. "Hotsuma is trying to play psychological mind-a-games with us by pitting us against each other in this match for the XCW World Television Championship at Ecstasy of Gold. He wants us to go into the match divided and unable to a-trust each other! But I want to nip that in the bud and a-clear the air with you and a-go into preparation for my defense without any doubts. . .we've been friends and tag team a-partners for months a-now. . .can I trust a-you to work with me and take a-down Hotsuma and Arthur?"

"Well, Mario. . .I wouldn't be a legend if I didn't give every match nothing less than the best. . ." Spongebob responded, ". . .but I promise that if I find myself with an opportunity to claim the World Television Championship, it will not be through an attack on you personally. In fact, to PROVE my loyalty, I'll do you one better: I'll help you train for the match! I have a friend with the right kind of exercise equipment that'll help us BOTH get in shape TOGETHER!"

"Mamma mia! You do?" exclaimed Mario. "That a-sounds great, Spongebuddy!"

"Yeah! By Ecstasy of Gold, neither Hotsuma NOR Arthur will be able to see past our pythons!" Spongebob said, raising his arms up as if to flex them.

"Hooooow about we aim a-high and a-just keep our expectations in check?" Mario suggested, looking at Spongebob's noodle arms.

"I'M READY!" Spongebob said, to a smile from Mario.

"That's a-the spirit!" Mario exclaimed, punching the air. Hotsuma may be dangerous, and a-Arthur may have smarts, but we have a-friendship, teamwork, and all the experience needed to leave Ecstasy of Gold with the XCW World Television Championship around a-your waist or mine, and there's nobody on this roster with us that can a-possibly break our a-bond!"

"YEAH! But ya know what CAN come between us?" Spongebob asked.

"A cheese-a-burger made from grass-fed beef from Moo Moo Farm?" Mario replied.

"Close. . .a Triple Gooberberry Sunrise from Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat!" Spongebob declared.

"That a-sounds like a PERFECT reward after a hard a-day's work!" Mario exclaimed. "I'll go a-fire up a-the kart and-"

Mario then dashed past Spongebob to make his way to the doorway of his locker room. . .

. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .

"MARIO!"

. . .

. . .The Champion of Life saw himself face-to-face with LUIGI!

"Luigi! My brother, you've a-recovered from your concussion!" Mario shouted, before pulling his brother in for a hug. "It's a-so good to see you! What brings a-you all this a-way? I thought you'd be resting at home in a-the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"I thought I would-a surprise you, Mario!" Luigi said. "Because a-the doctors just a-medically cleared me for in-ring competition! What do you a-say we go out and a-celebrate this joyous occasion?"

"Ohhhh. . .uhhhh. . ." stammered Mario, ". . .I'd a-love to, Luigi, but. . .I just a-made plans with my friend a-here. . ."

"Hi, you must be this Luigi that I've heard so much about!" Spongebob said, extending his arm for a handshake with a well-meaning but oblivious smile. "I'm Spongebob Squarepants."

"Yes. . .nice a-to finally make a-your acquaintance after all these a-years. . ." Luigi said, reluctantly accepting Spongebob's handshake. ". . .but it'd a-be nicer if we could-a hang out, Mario! Can I at a-least tag along with a-you two?"

"Well. . .that's a-the thing. . ." Mario answered, ". . .Spongebob and I got a-here by kart. And there's only room for two-a people. . ."

"Oh, that's. . .that's-a too bad. . ." Luigi said, hanging his head sadly.

"But hey! Now that you're a-back, you can a-help Spongebob and I train next week! What do you say?" Mario asked, with an excited inflection.

"Yeah. . .that sounds like a-fun. . ." Luigi mumbled.

"Great! Come on, a-Spongebob! I'm a-starting the kart!" Mario declared, before dashing out of the locker room.

"Hooray!" exclaimed Spongebob. "IIIIIIIII'M READY!"

The Sponge Suplex Machine ran out of the locker room as well, leaving Luigi alone. The Other Mario Brother then scanned the now-empty space, before trudging toward a bench.

"Mamma mia. . .that's a-not cool. . ." Luigi said to himself as he sat down on the bench, resting his elbows on his lap, and his chin in his hands with a sad expression on his face until the show transitioned back to the arena, where the fans were looking on at the scene on the Titantron with sympathy for Luigi. . .

. . .

. . .but they popped with cheers when the following words came from the titantron. . .

. . .

---

. . ."ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd's cheers erupted into a standing ovation.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising his hands above his heads, Edd strode down the ramp with a focused, determined facial expression. Edd slid into the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle, making the word 'ED' with his hands and holding it above his head toward the fans.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're back live here on Monday Night Massacre. . .just in time for our main event." Frylock informed. "Earlier tonight, Double D stood up for himself and his friends when The V-Crest Dynasty came out here and warned the rest of the XCW roster that they were the most dominant men in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and if anyone tried to stop them, they would suffer the same fate that Ed, Eddy and Nazz did last week! But Double D wouldn't stand for it, and made the challenge for this match about to take place right here, and right now, which The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, was quick to accept! And from the look on The Sockhead's face, Shake, and from his demeanor earlier tonight, Double D wants to not only avenge his friends, who couldn't be here tonight as a result of the beating that the V-Crest Dynasty wrought on them, but he also wants to win the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in his first-ever match for a World title in ANY promotion!"

Double D then stepped into the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop, with pyro going off on opposing corners in unison with each chop.

"Yeah, and there's a REASON why he hasn't fought for a World title until tonight, Frylock. It's because this kid is a scrawny weakling!" Shake snapped. "You know this moron raises an ANT FARM in his spare time? That's something I'd expect from a nerdy computer programmer more than a pro wrestler! And if you ask me, there ain't anything special about this town that the Eds would wanna come back for! The people in this town are nothing but white trash, it's HOT every day of the week, and the jawbreakers are too big to fit in my mouth! The fact THIS kid's mouth has been between the legs of Sansa Stark is more absurd than the fact ANYONE here thinks he has a chance at becoming XCW World Heavyweight Champion tonight, because he's nothing but a nice guy, and in THIS world, and in THIS industry, nice guys don't just finish last, they DIE IN THE GODDAMN RING! That's what I expect out of Double D here tonight."

"...you're entitled to your opinion, Shake. . ." deadpanned Frylock, as Double D stared across the ring at the entranceway with determination. . .

. . .

. . .until the crowd ERUPTED with boos. . .

. . .

. . . . .to see 'The Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti made his way onto the stage, scanning the arena and staring down Double D with contempt to no entrance music whatsoever.

". . .just as this man is entitled to the right to speak, but I damn sure didn't like what he had to say earlier tonight." Frylock said. "This man had the audacity to say that his attack on Nazz was a way of telling anyone that wants to challenge him that he CARES about being XCW World Heavyweight Champion?! A champion does NOT assault a young girl with a weapon like he did last week, let alone any woman! The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, is on a path of destruction through every division of XCW, and I shudder to think about what he might do next unless Double D ends his title reign before it can go any further here tonight in The Sockhead's own hometown of Peach Creek!"

Tommy slowly but surely sauntered down the ramp with the same malcontented grimace on his face, holding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship against his chest with one hand as the fans continued to berate him with chants of "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"

"Well Frylock, I've got bad news for ya: Tommy Vercetti isn't a normal man." Shake retorted. "He is a one-man WRECKING MACHINE that makes his allies in the Three Crest Empire more powerful in their influence and in their strength. He once killed eleven men by himself in a stand-off; that's what got him thrown in jail in the first place! Not to mention his history before XCW; not only did he fight for FWE for several years over in Europe, but he also fought for Jersey City Wrestling and Combat Zone Wrestling; the two carniest deathmatch promotions to ever exist! I hope Tommy carves Double D up so bad tonight, that when he goes home to see his family tonight, they won't even RECOGNIZE HIM!"

Tommy entered the ring above the second rope and stood on a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans in his field of vision with the same expression of discontent before stepping off it and staring Double D down from the opposite corner as Carl Brutanandilewski came to stand in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest. . .is scheduled for ONE FALL. . ." Carl announced, to screams of, "ONE FALL!" from the crowd behind him, to two blinks of confusion from the XCW ring announcer.

Nevertheless, Carl continued, ". . .it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship, and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event for the evening!"

The crowd exploded with cheers before quieting down for Carl to continue his announcement.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. From Peach Creek. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .he is 'The Sockhead'. . .DOUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE D!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as Double D continued to stare down Tommy Vercetti with a look of anger.

"And his opponent. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD. . .'The Harwood Butcher'. . .TOMMYYYYYYYYYYY VERRRRRCETTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The crowd EXPLODED with boos as Tommy raised the title high above his head with the same angry grimace before the referee took the belt from Tommy and raised it high above his head. . .

. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .

. . ."Wet Blanket" by Metz played. . .?

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, our main event is almost underwa-what the hell is THIS?" Frylock wondered, as the fans turned toward the entrance ramp. . .

. . .

. . .and ERUPTED into boos. . .

. . .

. . .upon seeing Trevor Phillips step down the ramp wearing a referee's shirt?

"TREVOR PHILLIPS?!" Frylock exclaimed. "What the hell is THIS all about?"

"He's probably filling us in on where the good meth is around here!" Shake replied, as Trevor put a microphone up to his mouth, and his entrance music faded.

"Hold on, hold on. . .before this match gets underway, and before all you marks go tell your moron friends I'm the referee tonight, lemme say what I have to GODDAMN SAY!" Trevor exclaimed, to MORE boos from the crowd.

"You idiots just can't listen. . .can ya?" Trevor said to himself, before continuing on the microphone and entering the ring. "Anyway, the anonymous chairman of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling sent me down here with a note from one of his reps. Carl, I think you wanna read it."

Trevor handed the note to Carl Brutanandilewski, who took it, unfolded it and read it aloud to the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .I have just been informed. . .that as of this moment, by order of the anonymous chairman of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .'The Crazy Guy' Trevor Phillips. . .is the SPECIAL ENFORCER of this main event here tonight."

"WHAT?" Frylock exclaimed, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd.

"ALL RIGHT!" cheered Shake, while Double D looked on aghast from this revelation, while Tommy grinned in the opposite corner.

"He will ONLY be out here to make sure this match is called right down the middle, and wishes nothing less but the best of luck to both competitors," finished Carl, before he and Trevor left the ring, leaving Double D in a frenzy, darting his vision back and forth from Trevor and Tommy.

"THIS MATCH DOESN'T NEED A SPECIAL ENFORCER!" Frylock cried. "This HAS to be another favor that Tommy called in, Shake! He's trying to give himself a handicap in his first title defense on national television!"

"Frylock, please. Trevor Phillips is a standup guy. He watches enough wrestling to know what's legal and what isn't! Just give him a chance!" Shake implored, before the bell rang and the match began. . .

. . .

. . .WITH DOUBLE D AND TOMMY CHARGING TOWARD EACH OTHER IN A FRENETIC SPRINT TO THE CENTER OF THE RING, WHERE THE HARWOOD BUTCHER NAILED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A FURIOUS RIGHT HAND! Tommy then followed that up with a left and right hand combination that drove Double D into the corner before hammering him in the gut with knee strike after knee strike! Tommy then lifted Double D off his feet and charged back into the center of the ring to slam him down with a running scoop slam before running against the ropes and bouncing off to land a falling elbow drop onto his face! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out! Tommy then pulled Double D up by his sock and slugged him in the face with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring, only for Double D to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Tommy bounced off the ropes in front of him and landed a Lou Thesz Press, after which he smothered Double D's face with furious right and left hands to MASSIVE boos to the crowd. The Harwood Butcher shouted, "DO YOU THINK I CARE WHAT YOU HICKS THINK?" on his way toward a nearby corner before charging back into the center of the ring to hit The Sockhead in the temple with a running knee strike! Tommy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!

Tommy pulled Double D up by the hat and went for another right hand, but Double D countered it into an Irish whip against the ropes! The Harwood Butcher bounced off the ropes and was dropped by a hip toss from The Sockhead, who followed that up by pulling Tommy up by the arm and dropping him back down with an armbreaker! Double D then pulled Tommy up by the arm and twisted him into a wrist-lock before wrenching his arm and striking him in the ribs with a back kick! The Sockhead then turned around and hit him in the chest with a FURIOUS knife-edged chop! Tommy winced in pain from the impact of the strike as the fans shouted "WOO!" in unison with it! Double D continued to hit Tommy in the face with chop after chop until Tommy was backed up into a nearby corner. The Sockhead then Irish whipped Tommy across the ring and took him down with a spinning back elbow smash, then stomped all over Tommy's chest with furious stomps!

"Double D's fighting with an energy that we've NEVER seen from him before!" Frylock observed. "He's a house of fire! He's hellbent on achieving his vengeance for himself and D-Generation Ed!"

Double D then looked out at the crowd, giving the DX crotch chop to the crowd for an explosion of cheers.

"He's also taking his eyes off the prize like a MORON, Frylock! LOOK!" Shake said, as Tommy had rolled onto the ring apron to create some space between himself and Double D, in addition to regain his bearings. The Sockhead then turned his attention back toward The Harwood Butcher and stomped toward him, only for Tommy to hang his head and face against the top rope! Double D reeled back into the center of the ring in a daze, giving Tommy time to not only run back into the ring, but also drop him in the center of the ring with a neckbreaker! Tommy then gripped onto Double D's arms and VICIOUSLY stomped into his midsection repeatedly, to more boos from the crowd! The Harwood Butcher then pulled Double D up by the sock and kicked him HARD in the midsection before lifting him up for a vertical suplex. . .

. . .

. . .BUT DOUBLE D COUNTERED IT AND DROPPED HIM WITH A REVERSE DDT! Double D went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Double D then pulled Tommy up by the collar of his shirt and Irish whipped him against the ropes. The Harwood Butcher bounced off them only for Double D to take him back down with a jumping missile dropkick! The Sockhead then kipped up and ran toward Tommy to land a running moonsault onto his chest! Double D went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

"Tommy has been as ruthless as he always is, but Double D is matching it with a ferocity that we've never seen out of him before!" Frylock called. "Will he avenge his friends in D-Generation Ed and become the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion in his hometown?"

Double D then turned Tommy onto his chest and tried to drape his leg over his head in hopes of locking in a submission maneuver. . .

. . .

. . .but Tommy fought out of it by hitting him with a back elbow, followed by a thumb to the eye! The Harwood Butcher then rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope and strode around to the ringside area in front of the announcer's table, looking out at the Peach Creek fans who were dual chanting, "FUCK YOU TOMMY/DOUBLE D! FUCK YOU TOMMY/DOUBLE D!" and shouting obscenities at them.

"Tommy Vercetti taking some time to not only run away from his opponent, but also to tell this crowd what he feels about 'em!" Frylock shouted. "You've done enough talking for one night, you psychopath!"

"No he hasn't, Frylock!" Shake implored. "He just needs a break! If you've been through all the deathmatches he's been through in the past, you'd be gassed and out of breath, too!"

"Oh don't show this monster a MODICUM of sympathy-WAIT A MINUTE! WATCH OUT!" Frylock shouted, as Tommy shouted something in the direction of Trevor. . .

. . .

. . .who was shouting something BACK at Tommy, as if it were a warning. . .

. . .

. . .BUT IT WAS TOO LATE BECAUSE DOUBLE D LEAPT OVER THE TOP ROPE AND SENT TOMMY FLYING OVER THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE WITH A SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK!

"WHAT AGILITY FROM THE SOCKHEAD, DOUBLE D!" Frylock shouted. "HE IS RELENTLESS IN HIS PURSUIT FOR VICTORY AGAINST TOMMY AND THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!"

"HOW DARE THAT SCRAWNY PUNK KEEP TOMMY FROM REGAINING HIS BEARINGS!" Shake yelled. "THAT'S BAD SPORTSMANSHIP, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED!"

Double D slowly but surely pulled himself up to a standing position, clenching his lower back in pain after the impact while the referee began the ten count. Double D raised a fist high above his head to cheers from the crowd before striding around to behind the announcer's table and stomped a mudhole into Tommy Vercetti's chest!

"Now Double D is on the attack!" Frylock shouted. "He's unrestrainable! Do you think Tommy Vercetti and the Three Crest Empire saw this coming, Shake?"

"I dunno, but that scrawny idiot better not do anything worse than that!" Shake said. "I still got some blow around there!"

Double D then pulled Tommy up by his collar and went for a chop, but the Harwood Butcher fired back with a sharp kick to the midsection, then rammed him face-first into the announcer's table! Tommy then lifted Double D up for a back suplex, but The Sockhead dropped out of it behind him and sent Tommy reeling in front of the announcer's table in a daze! The referee's count reached five at this point. Double D then hit a series of chops to Tommy's chest, with the Harwood Butcher wincing in pain after each impact, while Trevor Phillips looked on in disbelief, going so far as to scream, "CAN YA COUNT ANY SLOWER, REF?"

Meanwhile, Double D landed a kick to the midsection of his own before dropping Tommy on the floor with a twisting suplex! The Harwood Butcher screamed in agonizing pain after the impact while the referee's count reached eight, until Double D pulled Tommy up and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope to break the count. Double D slid in after him, but not in time to go for the cover, because Tommy had rolled all the way to the other side of the ring and slid out from under the bottom rope to stand at the foot of the ramp. The Harwood Butcher then rounded a corner making his way toward the timekeeper's booth. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D SENT HIM FLYING INTO THE BARRICADE WITH A DIVING SHOTGUN DROPKICK!

"TOMMY'S TRYING TO FIND AN ESCAPE ROUTE OUTTA THIS MATCH, BUT DOUBLE ISN'T GIVING HIM ANYWHERE TO RUN!" Frylock exclaimed. "THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS MET HIS MATCH!"

"In the form of this scrawny weakling? Gimme a break!" Shake dismissed. "He's only landing that flippy shit when Tommy has his goddamn back turned!"

As the referee started another ten count from the ring, Tommy was clenching his lower back in pain as he pulled himself up with the ring apron, but Double D knocked him back down from behind with a rolling drop toe hold! The Sockhead then draped his leg over Tommy's neck in hopes of locking him in The Ed Lock (Lebell Lock), but saw himself suddenly stuck under the shadow. . .

. . .of the match's special enforcer, Trevor Phillips.

"GET 'IM BACK IN THE RING IF YOU WANNA TAP HIM OUT!" demanded Trevor, causing Double D to let up on his submission maneuver and reach a standing position to scowl in the face of The Crazy Guy. . .

. . .

. . .until Tommy turned Double D around and hit him with a kick to the midsection before Irish whipping him body-first into the announcer's table!

"So far the only thing Trevor's enforced in this match is an unfair advantage for The Harwood Butcher!" Frylock declared. "Now Tommy's back in control!"

"Come on, Frylock! Trevor just wants to know where he can find some meth in this po-dunk hick town!" Shake insisted. "It's small enough to have some kinda meth lab around here!"

Tommy then gripped Double D's sock and rammed him face-first into the announcer's table, then dropped him with a desperation uranage on the floor! With the referee's count reaching six, The Harwood Butcher then stumbled toward the timekeeper's booth and collected his XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt!

"OH YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Frylock shouted, as the crowd exploded with boos of disgust. "TOMMY VERCETTI'S MAKING OFF LIKE A DOG WITH ITS TAIL BETWEEN ITS LEGS!"

"He's got a football game to watch, Frylock! The Giants play the Chiefs tonight!" Shake attested. "And I'll tell ya one thing, watching football is more fun than this extended squash match, and Tommy KNOWS THIS!"

Tommy is about to turn a corner around the ring, as the referee's count reached eight. . .

. . .

. . .BUT DOUBLE D THREW TOMMY BY THE SHIRT RIGHT INTO TREVOR, KNOCKING HIM DOWN!

"DOUBLE D HAS INCAPACITATED THIS MATCH'S NOT-SO-SPECIAL ENFORCER!" Frylock exclaimed. "BUT WILL HE BEAT THE COUNT BACK INTO THE RING?"

"OH COME ON! BEATING UP A REFEREE DOESN'T MAKE YOU APPEAR STRONGER THAN YOU LOOK! DOUBLE D'S ASKING FOR A SUSPENSION!" yelled Shake, as Double D pulled Tommy up by the shirt after the referee's count reached nine. . .

. . .

. . .and SUCCESSFULLY slid Tommy back into the ring under the bottom rope and followed in after him to break the count in time! Double D then pulled himself up with the ropes while Tommy did the same on the opposite side of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A POISONRANA TO CHEERS FROM THE CROWD!

"POISONRANA FROM THE SOCKHEAD!" Frylock shouted. "WILL DOUBLE D DO THE UNTHINKABLE?!"

Double D went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .TOMMY KICKED OUT!

"NO! TOMMY STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" Frylock screamed, as the crowd shouted a collective, "OHHHHHHH!" in disbelief. Meanwhile, Double D pulled Tommy up by his shirt, straining with all the strength he had until Tommy suddenly gripped his arms and ripped them off his body before throwing him across the ring with a belly to belly suplex. Double D's momentum after the impact launched him into a standing position facing the ropes in a daze until Tommy nailed him in the back of the head with a STIFF right hand! The Harwood Butcher then gripped Double D by the shirt. . .

. . .

. . .AND CHUCKED HIM INTO THE REFEREE, KNOCKING HIM DOWN!

"TOMMY'S GETTING DESPERATE, SHAKE!" Frylock called. "HE'LL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP THE TITLE AROUND HIS WAIST!"

"Please, that referee was biased, anyway!" Shake said. "Trevor's been nothing short of impartial for this entire main event; Tommy knows a good referee when he sees it!"

"And I know you need to get your goddamn eyes checked, Shake," deadpanned Frylock, as Tommy smothered Double D in the corner and hammered away at his face with furious right and left hands, then rammed him face-first repeatedly into the top turnbuckle! Tommy then lifted Double D up and went to sit him on the top turnbuckle, until Double D backflipped off of it to land behind Tommy, then drop him with a Russian legsweep! The Sockhead then rose up to his feet and climbed up to the top rope!

"Double D is making his way up for a high-risk maneuver!" Frylock exclaimed. "Go to the top, kid! Make yourself famous!"

With the fans on their feet in anticipation, Double D rose up to a standing position on the top turnbuckle. . .

. . .

. . .then leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND-COULD NOT LAND THE DIVING EDSAULT BECAUSE TOMMY PULLED THE WORLD TITLE BELT INTO HIS PATH, STRIKING HIM IN THE FACE WITH IT!

"OH YOU'VE GOTTA BE GODDAMN KIDDING ME!" Frylock shouted, as the fans EXPLODED with boos! "TOMMY VERCETTI PULLED A FAST ONE OUT OF HIS ASS, AND KNOCKED DOUBLE D INTO NEXT WEEK WITH THE BELT!"

"Do you think he can tell me the winning powerball numbers while he's over there, Frylock?" Shake wondered, as Trevor Phillips slid into the ring. "That's the only thing this nerd is GOOD FOR!"

"And of course, the self-proclaimed special enforcer, Trevor Phillips, is here to be the nail in Double D's proverbial coffin!" Frylock yelled with disgust, as Tommy went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT! Tommy shot up from the cover, staring daggers into Trevor's eyes in shock!

"WHAT?" Shake shouted, while the crowd went wild!

"HE KICKED OUT! DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!" screamed Frylock unintelligibly, as Tommy pulled him up by the sock and dropped him with a uranage on the title belt!

"HE AIN'T KICKING OUTTA THAT, FRYLOCK!" Shake declared, as Tommy went for the cover again, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT AGAIN! With the fans erupting into deafening cheers, Tommy shot up from the cover, shouting, "WHAT THE HELL?!" at Trevor, who protested with, "LIKE I WOULD FREAKIN' KNOW!"

"EVEN TREVOR CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Frylock added. "There is no modicum of QUIT in the body of Double D!"

"He's gonna wish he did before too long!" Shake predicted, as Tommy pressed Double D's neck against the mat, choking him until he was kneeling over him so he could beat his face with furious right and left hands!

"Those rights and lefts are turning Double D's head into hamburger!" Frylock cried. "Tommy's RELENTLESS!"

"He's got the upper hand and iron fists!" Shake assured, as Tommy went for another cover, hooking the leg so Trevor could make the count! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT! Tommy punched the mat in frustration!

"HOW THE HELL IS DOUBLE D STILL IN THIS THING?" Shake yelled. "Doesn't he know he's out of Tommy's league?"

"Maybe so, but The Sockhead is damn sure fighting his way into it here tonight with his hometown faithful at his back!" Frylock said, as the fans were chanting, "DOUBLE D! DOUBLE D! DOUBLE D!" much to the chagrin of the Harwood Butcher, who had risen to a standing position and was scanning the arena with anger, shouting at them to "SHUT UP!" Tommy then turned his attention back toward Double D and pulled him up to a seated position just to lock him in a rear-naked chokehold! The Sockhead was gasping and wheezing for breath as Trevor stood over both of them, getting into Double D's face and screaming, "TAP THE HELL OUT!"

"Now Trevor's using his special enforcer powers to INTIMIDATE Double D!" Frylock screamed. "This is a gross injustice! Somebody needs to stop this!"

"That ain't true, Frylock! Trevor's just encouraging Double D to tap his inner demons into submission! That's what he means! He wants nothing more than a competitive and fair fight!" insisted Shake.

"Goddamn it, Shake! How many hoops are you gonna jump through in order to defend these assholes?" Frylock snapped.

"As many as Superman did in 1999." Shake replied, as Double D violently shook his head no and elbowed his way out of the chokehold, but Tommy was desperately trying to lock it back in. . .only for The Sockhead to turn him onto his back and then roll him onto his chest to try and lock in The Ed Lock. . .

. . .but Tommy drug himself toward the ropes and draped his arm over the bottom rope, forcing the referee to demand that Double D break the hold! The Sockhead then pulled Tommy off the ropes, only to get a right hand from Tommy for his troubles. . .

. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D DUCKED UNDER IT TO DROP TOMMY WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!

"TOMMY VERCETTI KNOWS DAMN WELL HOW THOSE GERMAN SUPLEXES FEEL!" Frylock said. "BECAUSE DOUBLE D IS TAKING A PAGE OUT OF TAI KAMIYA'S PLAYBOOK!"

The Sockhead kept his grip on Tommy's waist to pull him back up to a standing position. . .

. . .

. . .and landed another German suple-NO!

Tommy dropped out of it behind Double D and hit him with a forearm smash to the back of the head! The Sockhead gripped the back of his head in pain until Tommy whipped him around to face him by the arm and went for a right hand. . .

. . .

. . .but Double D caught it and pulled the Harwood Butcher closer to him to drop him with a Jawbreaker! Tommy reeled against the ropes behind him in a daze, but Double D was relentless, as he ran toward Tommy and dropped him on his face for a bodyscissors bulldog!

"DOUBLE D HAS NOT LET UP SINCE THE BELL RANG IN THIS MAIN EVENT MATCH!" Frylock exclaimed. "ARE WE GONNA HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION?"

Double D pulled Tommy by the arm into the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT! DOUBLE D COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

"OH MY GOD, HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock screamed. "Double D almost scored the biggest victory of his entire wrestling career!"

"It was so close, this entire crowd had the exact same orgasm face for half a second." Shake quipped. "And Double D looks like he doesn't know what to do next, the PUSSY!"

Double D then made it up to one knee, pondering his next move before standing back up and pulling Tommy back up by the collar of his shirt. As Trevor stepped onto the apron and distracted the referee, Double D set Tommy's head between his legs. . .

. . .

. . .AND HOOKED HIS ARMS TO A POP FROM THE CROWD!

"IS DOUBLE D ABOUT TO DO WHAT I THINK HE'S GOING TO DO?" Frylock yelled. "Eddy may not be here in the arena, but Double D is making sure he's HERE IN SPIRIT-BUT WHAT IS TREVOR PHILLIPS DOING?"

"He's just making sure the Edigree is a legal move!" Shake insisted. "Double D's never hit it before, and it's been a minute since Eddy's fought in a match!"

Double D turned to the left to see Trevor distracting the referee. . .

. . .

. . .AND IMMEDIATELY FELT A PUNCH TO HIS BALLS WHEN TOMMY HIT A LOW BLOW, TO WHICH THE FANS ERUPTED WITH BOOS!

"NOOOOOO! A LOW BLOW!" Frylock shouted with disgust. "THE REFEREE NEVER SAW IT!"

After Double D fell to his knees clenching his groin, the Harwood Butcher hit a three-punch combination to both sides of Double D's face before lifting him off his feet and dropping him with a gutwrench powerbomb! Trevor then stepped off the apron, allowing the referee to make the count when Tommy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT! Tommy punched the mat in frustration while the crowd erupted into a chant of, "TOMMY SUCKS! TOMMY SUCKS!"

"This sold-out crowd here in Peach Creek is telling Tommy exactly how they feel about him, and deservedly so after everything he's done!" Frylock called, as Tommy rose up to a standing position, scanning the fans with a scowl on his face before pulling Double D up by the sock on his head and lifting him off his feet to drop him on his back with another Uranage! Tommy went for another cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT! Tommy looked up at the referee, shouting, "COME ON!" in disgust while the crowd cheered loudly for Double D!

"Double D's resilience and this capacity crowd are starting to get to the Harwood Butcher!" Frylock foreboded. "What other underhanded tactics will he pull to get out of this match?"

"I dunno, Frylock, but these fans need to SHUT UP!" Shake yelled. "I can't hear the Monday Night Football game!"

Tommy pulled Double D up by his sock again to hook both of his arms. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROP HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A LIFTING DOUBLE ARM DDT!

"GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!" cringed Frylock. "DOUBLE D'S ATTEMPT AT CREATING A PARADIGM SHIFT IN XCW MAY HAVE CAME TO AN ABRUPT END!"

"Like it even got started to begin with. These idiots run on false hope!" Shake yelled, as Tommy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!

"OR MAYBE NOT!" Frylock exclaimed, as the fans exploded with cheers and Tommy repeatedly slapped the canvas in furious anger!

"TOMMY IS APOPLECTIC, BUT THESE FANS ARE ECSTATIC!" Frylock screamed, as the fans were jumping in excitement over Double D's kick out, while Trevor looked on from outside the ring, hands on the back of his head and his mouth agape. "DOUBLE D STILL HAS A DOG IN THIS FIGHT!"

"WELL HIS DOG IS ASKING TO GET EUTHANIZED, AND TOMMY'S THE ONE WITH THE NEEDLE!" Shake snapped, as Tommy stood up from the cover with a scowl on his face. . .

. . .

. . .and-climbed up to the top rope. . .?

"Now look at this, Shake! This is a testament to how desperate Tommy is to win this match! He NEVER does this! He NEVER goes for a high-risk maneuver!" Frylock said.

"There's a first time for everything, Frylock! And if the Harwood Butcher wants to go high-risk, let him go high-risk!" Shake yelled, as Tommy sized Double D up for what looked like a bionic elbow drop. . .

. . .

. . .BUT DOUBLE D LEAPT ONTO THE SECOND ROPE TO LAND A SERIES OF STRIKES TO HIS CHEST!

"WAIT A MINUTE! DOUBLE D IS BACK UP! HE'S GOT TOMMY TRAPPED IN NO MAN'S LAND!" Frylock yelled, as Double D and Tommy continued to trade strikes from opposite rungs of the corner. . .

. . .

. . .until Double D climbed up to the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .draped Tommy's arm across his back. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE CANVAS WITH A SUPERPLEX!

"WHAT A SUPERPLEX FROM DOUBLE D! WILL IT MAKE HIM THE XCW WORLD CHAMPION?!" Frylock shouted, as Double D rolled on top of Tommy for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .TOMMY KICKED OUT! But Double D turned him onto his chest and went to put him in the Ed Lock again to cheers from the crowd. . .

. . .

. . .but the Harwood Butcher was able to crawl toward the ropes and place his foot on the bottom rope, causing the referee to order Double D to let go of the attempted hold. The Sockhead rolled off Tommy, who rolled out of the ring, clenching his lower back in pain. He strode around the corner, so he was in front of the announcer's table, but Double D rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope to hit him with a right hand. . .

. . .

. . .but Tommy caught it and slammed Double D's face into the announcer's table! With Double D dazed, and the referee having started a ten count, The Harwood Butcher then put Double D in a front headlock and lifted him over his head. . .

. . .

. . .TO DRIVE HIM RIBS-FIRST ONTO THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE WITH A FORWARD SUPLEX!

"DEAR GOD! As much as the Harwood Butcher wants to leave hardcore wrestling behind, he's doing what every fighter of his type would do in a standard match, and that's use the environment to his advantage! And thanks to that, Double D may have a broken rib!" Frylock called, as Trevor looked on exclaiming, "THAT'S BEAUTIFUL!"

"It looked safe to Trevor! And he's the special enforcer, so he knows his wrasslin'!" Shake said.

"Yeah, he's also a sick son of a goddamn bitch, Shake!" Frylock added, as Tommy pulled Double D up by the sock and hit him in the face with a right hand. . .

. . .but Double D fought back with a right hand of his own! The two continued to trade stiff right hands with intensity on their faces as the crowd chanted, "YAY!" in unison with Double D's strikes, and "BOO!" in unison with Tommy's punches! The two continued to brawl until Tommy gained the upper hand by hitting two consecutive right hands in a row after Double D became the first to become dazed.

"These two have been hitting full-contact right hands right here in front of us!" Frylock observed. "Tommy and Double D have nothing but sheer hatred for each other!"

"And the Harwood Butcher's gonna use that to win this goddamn thing!" Shake declared, as Tommy turned Double D around so he was facing his back. The Harwood Butcher then lifted him up for an Atomic Drop. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY TO RUN FORWARD AND SMASH DOUBLE D'S BALLS INTO THE RING POST!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT A MANEUVER, FRYLOCK!" Shake exclaimed. "DOUBLE D WON'T BE HAVING KIDS WHEN HE GETS OLDER, HUH?!"

Double D winced in pain after the impact. . .

. . .

. . .but had no time to process it because Tommy dropped him on the ring apron with a back suplex!

"HE MIGHT NOT BE WALKING EITHER, SHAKE! TOMMY IS SICK! HE'S SADISTIC!" Frylock added, as Tommy slid into the ring to break up the referee's ten count at nine. The Harwood Butcher then slid back out to the ringside floor, then Irish whipped Double D HARD into the steel steps, causing Double D to collide into them with a sickening thud so hard, the steps collided into the barricade! But the Harwood Butcher stepped back toward Double D, who was wincing and clenching his ribs in agonizing pain from the impact. He then pulled Double D up by the arm and Irish whipped him down the floor in the opposite direction. . .

. . .

. . .so he could collide into the steel steps on the OTHER side of the ring, ribs and shoulder first! Double D let out a cry of agony after the impact, until Tommy pulled Double D up and drug his face along the apron before shoving him back into the ring under the bottom rope, breaking the referee's ten count at nine. The Harwood Butcher followed him back in and immediately landed a knee drop onto Double D's face! The Sockhead tried to roll toward the ropes to create some space between himself and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, but Tommy wouldn't let him have it by following Double D into the corner and viciously landing a series of sick mudhole stomps on his chest! The Harwood Butcher then stepped out of the corner and into the center of the ring, scanning the arena with a psychotic scowl on his face as the crowd had erupted into a chant of, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"

"These fans used to believe in Tommy and want to see him succeed, but ever since he's won the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, the Harwood Butcher has been running roughshod all over the wrestling world!" Frylock informed. "The fact that he's turned his back on them as an XCW Original is sickening, but Tommy has no sympathy for them, or for D-Generation Ed after what he did to them last week!"

"Why SHOULD he, Frylock? He's the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!" answered Shake. "He can't defend his crown without going to town on everyone that lays the challenge down!"

"Nice rhyme, Shake." deadpanned Frylock.

"I wasn't trying to be cute. I'm making this easy for Meatwad to understand." Shake retorted. "You know how dumb he is."

Tommy then charged back into the corner and landed a sliding elbow smash into Double D's face! The Harwood Butcher then pulled Double D out of the corner by the sock before dragging him into the center of the ring. . .

. . .and dropping him with a Half-Nelson Backbreaker! Tommy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT! Tommy sat up from the cover with an annoyed grimace on his face, then gripped Double D by the sock and pulled him up to a vertical base. The Harwood Butcher then Irish whipped him across the ring and landed a Lou Thesz Press onto him, to MORE boos from the crowd that only got louder when he hammered away at Double D's face with thunderous and swift right and left hands! Tommy then strode toward the opposite corner, shouting venomous obscenities at the Peach Creek crowd until he turned around to see Double D crawling toward the ropes to pull himself up to a standing position.

"Tommy Vercetti looks to have evil intentions of ending this match. . .what's he gonna do?" Frylock wondered, as Tommy charged toward Double D. . .

. . .

. . .AND CURB STOMPED HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE CANVAS!

"YEAH! HE MADE THE GAP IN HIS TEETH EVEN WIDER, FRYLOCK!" Shake exclaimed, as Tommy pulled Double D into the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!

"NO! THE SOCKHEAD STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE! AND TOMMY DOESN'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Frylock called, as Tommy then shot up from the cover, fuming with anger until he turned to stare daggers at Trevor, who was standing outside the ring.

"TREVOR! GIMME MY BELT!" shouted Tommy off-mic, after which, he turned Double D onto his chest and stomped on the back of his head repeatedly. As the crowd EXPLODED with boos, Trevor collected the World title from the ringside floor and slid it into the ring, where it laid at Tommy's feet.

"YOU SEE THIS?" Tommy shouted, kneeling down and picking up the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt. "YOU SEE THAT?"

Tommy then pressed the bloodstained belt up against Double D's face, and was practically SHOUTING the next words into his ears.

"YOU SEE THAT? THAT'S MINE! GET A GOOD LOOK AT IT BECAUSE THIS IS AS CLOSE AS YOU'RE GONNA GET TO IT! IT'LL NEVER BE YOURS, BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE IT!"

Tommy then smashed Double D's face into the canvas for emphasis before kicking the belt out of the ring under the bottom ropes.

"Tommy Vercetti is just being a psychotic BULLY at this point, Shake!" Frylock declared. "He's basically just told Double D that he doesn't belong in his league! He's destined to be a joke for life in this man's eyes!"

"Well, he's not wrong!" Shake said. "Do you SEE Double D fighting back? He looks like he's already given up!"

Tommy pulled Double D up by the sock and Irish whipped him across the ring and hit him with a three-punch combination on the bounceback that sent The Sockhead reeling against the ropes and right into a standing spinebuster from Tommy! The Harwood Butcher then went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!

"HOW THE HELL IS DOUBLE D EVEN ALIVE?!" Shake exclaimed, as the crowd EXPLODED with another pop for Double D!

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT EVEN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, SHAKE!" Frylock responded. "THIS SELLOUT CROWD CAN'T BELIEVE IT! TOMMY CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"TREVOR CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" added Shake, as The Crazy Guy looked on at the events in the ring with his eyes wide and mouth agape! Meanwhile, Tommy was FUMING as he sat next to Double D's prone body, and elected to pull his legs up and lock him in a Boston Crab!

"The desperation continues to settle in for the Harwood Butcher, as he's now looking to give Double D a taste of his own medicine!" Frylock observed. "The Sockhead's been looking to make Tommy tap out since this match started!"

"Yeah, and now Tommy's telling him that he ain't a quitter!" Shake yelled, as the referee knelt down and asked Double D if he wanted to quit. But the Sockhead shook his head no and inched toward the ropes while Tommy wrenched harder and harder onto the hold! Double D thrashed and wormed this way in hopes of grabbing the ropes but to no avail!

"The pain must be excruciating for Double D to endure!" Frylock called. "FIGHT OUT OF IT, DOUBLE D! YOU CAN DO IT!"

Double D inched ever closer to the ropes. . .

. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY DRAPED HIS ARM OVER THE BOTTOM ROPE, FORCING TOMMY TO BREAK THE HOLD. . .

. . .

. . .but the Harwood Butcher refused, electing to keep the Boston Crab locked in! This prompted the referee to start a five-count, after which, Tommy reluctantly let go of the submission hold once it reached four. Double D was crawling toward a corner in hopes of creating space between himself and Tommy as well as reaching for the ropes to pull himself up. . .

. . .

. . .but Tommy caught up to him and repeatedly STOMPED him viciously in the lower back!

"Tommy's brutality is on display for the entire wrestling world to see, Shake!" Frylock called, as the Harwood Butcher then pulled Double D up by the sock and slammed his face into the top turnbuckle ten times. . .and then the crowd EXPLODED with boos as Tommy turned Double D around to look him in the eyes. . .

. . .and VICIOUSLY SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE!

"NOT TO MENTION HIS BAD ATTITUDE! LOOK AT TOMMY EMBARRASSING AND DEMEANING DOUBLE D IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS!" Frylock yelled in disgust.

"If anything, Double D's embarrassing HIMSELF! He's the one that made this challenge in the first place thinking he had a chance to win!" Shake insisted, as Tommy SLAPPED Double D across the other cheek. . .then the first one. . .followed by one more slap across the face on the opposite side. . .

. . .

. . .until one stiff right hand between the eyes of Double D knocked him down face-first onto the mat. With a sick, sadistic smile formed across his face, The Harwood Butcher then started to pull Double D up by the sock. . .

. . .

. . .but Double D struck Tommy with a HARD knife-edged chop, to which the crowd reacted in unison with a shout of "WOOOOO!"

"Wait a minute. . .Double D is fighting back!" Frylock exclaimed.

"WHAT?" shouted Shake.

"Somehow, in some way, Double D IS FIGHTING BACK!" repeated Frylock, as Double D staggered up to a vertical base, but continuing to chop Tommy in the chest along the way, while the crowd had begun to chant, "DOUBLE D! DOUBLE D! DOUBLE D!"

"HOW THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE?!" Shake wondered, as Double D finally made it to a standing position. . .

. . .

. . .AND LUNGED TOWARD TOMMY, PUMMELING HIM WITH A SERIES OF STRIKES THAT SMOTHERED HIM INTO THE CORNER BEHIND HIM!

"DOUBLE D HAS GONE BERSERK!" Frylock screamed. "THIS IS ABOUT MORE THAN THE TITLE FOR HIM! THIS IS ABOUT AVENGING D-GENERATION ED! THIS IS FOR EDDY! FOR ED! FOR NAZZ! FOR EVERYONE THIS KID LOVES AND CARES ABOUT! FOR EVERYONE IN THIS ARENA TONIGHT, AND FOR THE ENTIRE CITY OF PEACH CREEK!"

Double D leapt toward Tommy, throwing him out of the corner and into another one with a Monkey Flip! The Sockhead then charged toward the Harwood Butcher and rammed his face into the top turnbuckle behind him, with the crowd counting along in unison with each face smash until Double D reached ten! The Sockhead then lifted Tommy onto his shoulders in a Fireman's Carry position and carried him into the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .only for Tommy to slip off his back and slug him with a right hand. . .but Double D fired back with a right hand of his own! The two continued to trade punches in the center of the ring as the chants of, "DOUBLE D! DOUBLE D!" from the crowd were unrelenting and deafening throughout the arena. . .

. . .

. . .and they exploded even MORE when Double D gained the momentum after Tommy faltered after a seventh strike! Double D then Irish whipped Tommy across the ring. . .

. . .

. . .but the Harwood Butcher nailed him in the midsection with a kick to the back, then slapped him across the face upon sliding to the mat!

"Both of these men have gotta be GASSED right now. . .who's gonna walk out of our main event here in Peach Creek as the XCW World Heavyweight Champion?" Frylock wondered. "Will it be 'The Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti, or will Double D win the hearts of everyone watching at home and score the biggest win in his young career?"

"The momentum in this match has switched more often than Caitlyn Jenner's gender!" Shake yelled. "It's gotta be Tommy, right?"

With Double D reeling toward the ropes, Tommy gripped him by the tights and pulled him back into the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .hooked both his arms and lifted him up. . .

. . .

. . .BUT DOUBLE D COUNTERED OUT OF THE VERCETTI DRIVER. . . .

. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FIREMAN'S CARRY FACEBUSTER!

"DOUBLE D FOUGHT OUT OF THE VERCETTI DRIVER! AND THE SOCKHEAD MAY BE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT TO HIS FIRST WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN EVER!"

"IF HE IS, THEN WHY ISN'T HE GOING FOR THE COVER?" Shake exclaimed, as Double D pulled Tommy up by the shirt with all his might. . .

. . .

. . .and dropped him with an Atomic Drop Neckbreaker!

"The angered, weary look on Double D's face tells the whole story, ladies and gentlemen!" Frylock called. "Double D's tired, he's bruised, he's battered, he's ANGRY, but he's not giving up in this fight! There is no QUIT in Double D's body, not with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship and his vengeance in his sight!"

Double D then pulled Tommy up and shouted, "WINTER IS COMING!" at the top of his lungs before lifting the Harwood Butcher up. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH A ROYAL BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! With tears in his eyes, Double D then pulled a wincing, limp Tommy up to a standing position. He stared daggers into his eyes. . .

. . .before giving him the D-X crotch chop to a HUGE pop from the fans. . .

. . .

. . .and driving his head into the canvas with a DDT. . .

. . .

. . .SO HE COULD LIFT HIM BACK UP WITH THE HEADLOCK STILL IN AND DRIVE HIM BACK DOWN WITH MORE FORCE WITH A LIFTING DDT!

"THE DOUBLE D-DT CONNECTS!" Frylock shouted unintelligibly. "WILL DOUBLE D DO IT?"

Double D turned Tommy onto his back to cheers from the crowd as he went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

"WILL HE BECOME. . ."

. . .

2. . .

". . .THIS COMPANY'S NEW. . ."

. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT! DOUBLE D ROLLED OFF FROM THE COVER WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS, AND THE CROWD ERUPTED IN A COLLECTIVE "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" IN DISBELIEF!

"HOW MUCH MORE PUNISHMENT CAN DOUBLE D TAKE? HOW MUCH MORE PUNISHMENT DOES TOMMY VERCETTI NEED?! HOW MUCH LONGER WILL THIS MATCH GO ON?" Frylock wondered, as both men were down in the center of the ring with the fans chanting, "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!" and clapping five times!

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, FRYLOCK! YOU AND THESE CARELESS FANS ARE MAKING ME BLEED OUTTA MY GODDAMN EARS!" Shake yelled, as Double D slowly staggered up to his knees. . .

. . .

. . .before turning Tommy onto his chest in the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .AND FINALLY LOCKING IN THE ED LOCK (Lebell Lock)!

"IT MAY NOT GO ON FOR MUCH LONGER!" Frylock called, as the fans EXPLODED with cheers of excitement! "DOUBLE D HAS THE ED LOCK CINCHED IT! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN! HE'S TRIED TO LOCK TOMMY VERCETTI IN IT FOR THIS ENTIRE MATCH!"

The fans erupted into cheers as Double D wrenched onto the hold, and Tommy screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked The Harwood Butcher if he wanted to quit. Tommy shook his head no as Double D let out a scream of intensity!

"TOMMY HAS NOWHERE TO GO! WILL HE TAP?" Frylock cried as Tommy inched closer to the ropes, with Double D only intensifying the hold more and more! Tommy extended his hand out. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . .

. . .

. ..

. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND WAS SAVED WHEN TREVOR PHILLIPS ENTERED THE RING AND PUNCHED OUT THE REFEREE!

"OH COME ON!" Frylock shouted. "DOUBLE D WAS SO CLOSE TO MAKING TOMMY TAP OUT, BUT THE SPECIAL ENFORCER IS OVERSTEPPING HIS BOUNDARIES HERE! THE REFEREE IS DOWN AND OUT!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, FRYLOCK? THE ED LOCK IS AN ILLEGAL MOVE!" Shake insisted.

"OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT IS AND ISN'T LEGAL, SHAKE?" Frylock exclaimed.

"HEY, IF THE SPECIAL ENFORCER BREAKS IT UP, HE KNOWS SOMETHING I DON'T!" replied Shake.

Double D let go of the submission move, eyes wide in anger upon watching Trevor slide back out of the ring and grab a steel chair from under the apron while the fans EXPLODED with boos.

"AH, SHADDUP!" Trevor said off-mic in the direction of the crowd, before sliding back into the ring. . .

. . .

. . .and getting a drop toe hold that sent Trevor reeling face-first onto his own steel chair!

"NOW DOUBLE D IS GIVING TREVOR A TASTE OF BAD KARMA!" Frylock exclaimed. "Trevor was the man who started the assault on D-Generation Ed last week, and helped lead the attack on them at Abolishment!"

Double D slowly but surely staggered up to a standing position, repeatedly looking back and forth from Trevor to Tommy to the steel chair.

"What's going through the mind of Double D right now?" Frylock wondered. "What's he going to do?"

With a look of fury on his face, Double D decided to pick up the steel chair. . .

. . .

. . .and raise it HIGH above his head, staring daggers at Trevor, who was clenching his head while reaching a knelt position. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D NAILED HIM IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?" Shake yelled. "THIS SOCKHEAD IS ASSAULTING AN OFFICIAL! HE SHOULD BE SUSPENDED!"

"LIKE HELL HE SHOULD, SHAKE! DOUBLE D SAID EARLIER TONIGHT THAT HE FEELS GENUINE CONTEMPT FOR TOMMY AND THE THREE CREST EMPIRE TONIGHT, AND HE'S LETTING LOOSE ALL OVER THE BODY OF TREVOR PHILLIPS!" Frylock called, as the crowd shouted, "OHHHHHHH!" in unison with every chair shot as Double D CONTINUED to hit Trevor in the back with the chair!

"EVERY SHOT IS UNLEASHING ALL THE FRUSTRATION HE'S FELT AT THE HANDS OF THESE THUGS OVER THE PAST TWO MONTHS!" Frylock emphasized, as Double D hit Trevor in the back with the chair over. . .

. . .

. . .and over. . .

. . .AND over. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .UNTIL THE CHAIR WAS BENT IN HALF!

"LOOK AT THE CHAIR!" Frylock observed. "IT'S BENT IN HALF! DOUBLE D IS BEATING TREVOR PHILLIPS TO THE MAT!"

Double D then raised the chair high above his head for a FIFTEENTH chair shot. . .

. . .

. . .as the referee was slowly but surely waking up. . .

. . .

. . .JUST IN TIME FOR TOMMY TO ROLL DOUBLE D UP WITH A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock yelled, as Trevor rolled out of the ring, clenching his lower back in pain. "TOMMY'S ROLLED HIM UP, AND HE'S GOT THE DAMN TIGHTS!"

The groggy referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"TOMMY HAD THE DAMN TIGHTS! DAMMIT! TOMMY STOLE ONE! HE STOLE THE MATCH!" Frylock yelled, as the fans ERUPTED with boos while Tommy was quick to slide out of the ring under the bottom rope after the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOORLD. . .'The Harwood Butcher'. . .TOMMY VERRRRRRRRRRCETTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Tommy just BARELY evaded getting hit by a beer can as he collected his XCW World Heavyweight title belt from the ringside floor and dashed around the ring to catch up to Trevor, who was laying at the foot of the ramp, clenching his lower back in pain!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, AND WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE SO ANGRY?" Shake wondered. "TOMMY WON THAT MATCH FAIR AND SQUARE! Besides, it was Double D who took his eye off the prize! If The Sockhead didn't waste time assaulting a match official, he STILL would have gotten his ass kicked by Tommy Vercetti! They KNEW this kid had no chance at winning, they're just blinded by biased optimism! Because the fact of the matter is that there's nobody in the fiction wrestling world that can stop Tommy Vercetti and his V-Crest Dynasty from bringing XCW back down to ground zero!"

Tommy helped Trevor up to his feet and they stumbled up to the top of the ramp, where the Harwood Butcher raised the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head with a relieved, but sadistic smile on his face, while Double D had brought himself up to his knees in the ring, holding himself up with the middle rope while looking down in silent contemplation.

"FAIR AND SQUARE, MY ASS! TOMMY VERCETTI ONLY WON BECAUSE HE RESORTED TO UNDERHANDED TACTICS AND HE HAD TREVOR GODDAMN PHILLIPS TO BAIL HIM OUT WHENEVER HE NEEDED HIM!" yelled Frylock. "But make no mistake about it, despite ALL THAT. . .Double D STILL fought like hell in that ring tonight! He gave Tommy a fight for his life in what was for my money a breakthrough performance! You now have to admit that the Harwood Butcher has a thought in the back of his mind that he's made more people mad than he wants to admit! And 'The Sockhead' Double D wants nothing more than to take the Three Crest Empire and Tommy Vercetti down with or without the rest of D-Generation Ed!"

The referee asked Double D if he was okay, to which he meekly nodded, before scowling up at Tommy and Trevor, who continued to showboat onto the stage.

"DOUBLE D PROVED TO THE WORLD THAT HE CAN BEAT TOMMY VERCETTI!" Frylock declared. "THE HARWOOD BUTCHER. . .IS A MARKED. MAN."

Double D continued to stare down Tommy and Trevor with an angry glare until Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

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Results

"Princess" Peach Toadstool defeated Eilonwy
Shenhua and Sawyer The Cleaner defeated Goosebumps United (Carly Beth Caldwell and Lucy Dark)(advance to the semifinals of the Women's Tag Team Championship Tournament)
Mario defeated Stan Marsh (retains XCW World Television Championship)
Garfield defeated Leopold 'Butters' Stotch
Garfield defeated The Bohan Badasses (Carl "CJ" Johnson and Niko Bellic) in a Handicap Match
Garfield defeated Spike Spiegel and Twisted Villainy (Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude) in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match
Ren and Stimpy defeated The Knighthood of Assassins (Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck)
Tommy Vercetti defeated Double D (retains XCW World Heavyweight Championship)

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And that concludes THAT episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! As always, let me know what you think of my booking, and if my storylines and characters are inconsistent anywhere.

But with another episode in the books come more questions begging to be answered. How will D-Generation Ed respond to the V-Crest Dynasty when they return at full strength? How will DOUBLE D react over coming so close to winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship? Who else will declare for the Ecstasy of Gold Battle Royal? What will Tai Kamiya have to say upon making his return? And what will happen in the Women's division on XCW's final stop before the all-women's pay-per-view, Equal Pain?

All those questions and more will be answered in the next episode, which will come in due time. Until then, please READ, REACT AND REVIEW!