Talk about pain after abdominal surgery, and you can't help doing it? Sneezing is the WORST!

[a/n]Based on a couple reviews, perhaps I still have some brainfog and left it unclear. The idea behind #205 was exactly that anagrams are a threat to society. I'd point out to those who remarked "...don't think forbidding rearranging letters would reduce likelihood of Dark Lord..." "Wizards don't have an ounce of logic" But, who knows?

Harry Does Different CDXXX

Potions is Easy

"Well get to work!" the angry teacher sneered "Instructions are on the board. Dunderheads." This was not a team project, so everyone dove in to the task. No student received a hint of praise, but snarls were more prevalent as he swept past Gryffindors. The lone Hufflepuff received no attention.

Harry, toward the end, grinned at his desk partner "Ha! This was easy! No different than cooking."

"So good, Potter?" Snape demanded, voice dripping with scorn. His wand came out and slashed "Accio! Potion!" A less skilled wizard might have been showered by all the mixtures in the room, but only the intended cauldron flashed to the front. A baited silence filled the room while the inspection went on. Severus didn't need the lengthy inspection to evaluate the product, at first sight the potion was every bit as good as he himself could do. Only one conclusion presented itself "You are a cheat Potter! That will be 50 points from Gryffindor, a detention I will determine the length of later and, obviously, a zero for the day."

The Gryffindors paled in horror, Susan Bones' jaw sort of hung off her face, while Slytherins ranged from shock to glee. Harry looked in his lap under all the combined staring. But after a couple minutes something snapped. He pulled up his bookbag, shoved everything into it …sans 1 cauldron… swung it onto his shoulder. Without a word, and defiantly ignoring both classmates, and teacher, walked out.

Abcij

"You certainly know how to make a splash Mr. Potter. A bunch of firsts I do not even believe your father could have matched at his most ambitious." The Head of Gryffindor approached "Not least of which is the need to actually seek you out. Black Lake is not a typical site to hold student-teacher meetings."

The boy had flinched at her first word from behind him, but covered any emotion "It's peaceful here."

"I have spoken with Professor Snape concerning what occurred in Potions this afternoon. What have you to say in your defense?" Minerva became all business.

This wasn't an unexpected line from Harry's experience in Little Whining Elementary, he shot back "You're Head of Gryffindor, are you fully on my side? Or Snape's?"

"That is Professor Snape." Minerva corrected in mild reproof "And I am also Deputy Headmistress, as you know. It is my job to address matters of discipline."

He wasn't impressed "And when teachers lie about students?"

"Making accusations is counterproductive, Mr. Potter." The professor face was in full effect.

He began "Snape" and talked right over her instruction on honorifics "accused me of cheating. That's a lie and I'm not calling it anything else. Whenever my cousin got himself in trouble my Aunt would come running, all ready to get him out of it. Even if he was usually wrong. Never had anyone do that for me. Does Hogwarts have someone like that?"

"Discipline rarely rises to that level, Mr. Potter." Minerva disliked the way this conversation was going "Only very rarely do parents involve themselves. And, for a First Year incident, it is unprecedented in my rather lengthy tenure, I believe."

Harry would likely never know how his next words cut "Well, thanks to Hagrid, I know I'm pretty famous for not having parents. That potion I made was perfect. I know it, because I've cooking since I could walk. And he wouldn't call me a cheat if it wasn't good. With a chance, I could do it again …easy. Would that get me out of Snape's punishments? And I'm sure my Housemates would like those points back."

"That is not a promise I am prepared to make Potter." She replied brusquely "The matter would have to be handled by Headmaster Dumbledore. You can surely imagine he has better things to do."

Harry shrugged dismissively at that "I couldn't say. Only seen him in the Great Hall so far. In the Muggle world famous people have spokesmen talk for them whenever they have problems. Guess that's kind of like having parents. Do wizards have that?"

"You might benefit from speaking to a senior girl in Hufflepuff by the name of Nymphadora Tonks. Though, again, it would be better to allow this matter to not escalate." Minerva was only reluctantly helpful.

The young wizard nodded "Thank you professor, I'll do that. Guess it's almost lunchtime. I do really like this spot."

Abcij

Harry wasted exactly zero time acting on that, telling his friend as they walked into the Great Hall "Catch up with you later Ron. Need to visit someone McGonagall recommended." And while not totally reliable, yearmates tended to sit together, so finding her didn't take long.

"Don't use that name!" hissed the older girl and her hair flashed red. Her friends' teasing laughter caused it to shade more pink "Call me TONKS!"

The small Gryffindor recoiled slightly in alarm but pursued his purpose "Right. Tonks. Here's my situation, I'm sure everyone knows Harry Potter's got no parents. Even really, McGonagall saying Houses are like family, I can't even count on her …or any adult here… to be on my side. They all work for the school. And after what happened in Snape's class, which I didn't cheat, couldn't imagine how he thinks I did."

"My dad is a lawyer, if that's what you think you need." The now brownish-haired Seventh-Year replied after a moment's thought "And no one better than my Mum for a Potions dispute. It'll be up to them what they can, or want, to do; but I can send them an owl tonight."

Harry gave a grateful nod "Thank you. And, if you like, Hedwig's just been hanging out in the owlery. Let me know as soon as you're ready and we'll go over."

Abcij

That very weekend, Harry met Dora's parents. Though by then, he'd already served two detentions with the Potion Master that ran for two hours each and consisted of considerable cleaning of cauldrons that never seemed to be clean enough for him. He learned some interesting tidbits of information.

"Fact is we are closely enough related that we could at least make a petition for custody if you're ever interested in living more in the Magical World than with Muggles." The former Black princess was anything but a purebloodist, however she had taken an instant dislike to the Dursleys.

Harry almost lept at the idea, but put up a cautioning hand "One thing at a time, Mrs. Tonks. What do you suggest with Snape."

"Ah! A sort of audition." Ted rubbed his hands eagerly "How about, as a start, you make the Boil Cure for us? While we're watching? So we know exactly what you can do in that class."

Abcij

Harry returned to Gryffindor Tower to change. He'd got a squirt of ingredients on his shirt "Sorry, Ron, been a bit busy this morning. Big changes might be coming."

"You do know, Harry" came from behind a stack of books "at least some Saturday time should be dedicated to study."

Looking at his best friend, Harry indirectly answered her "What, Ron, would your twin brothers think if I was actually combining schoolwork with a prank, and probably will …believe it or not… get points?"

"Don't Fred and George seem to go out of their way to lose points?" asked the same stack of books "Is this something Professor McGonagall would approve of?"

Harry shrugged at that, though this time he made sure much of the Common Room could hear him. He was heading for the stairs to the boys' rooms "Approve? Don't know. But she'll be in the meeting with a couple who're acting as my parents. We'll just see who's a cheater!" With someone actually on his side, Harry felt unusually optimistic. He changed shirts in a flash then all but skipped out of the Common Room.

Abcij

"Come in Harry, come in." said Dumbledore as soon as the boy appeared.

Seeing only professors in the headmaster's office, Harry shook his head "Quite alright sir. I'd rather wait for the Tonks. I'm sure they're just- - -"

"Everyone here?" announced Mr. Tonks "Excellent. I'm sure everyone also knows my wife."

Albus smiled pleasantly "Good to see you again Andromeda, and you, Theodore. Hogwarts is always delighted to host alumni."

"We might tour around a bit after our business here, with your permission? Professor." Mrs. Tonks' smile was charming "And we'd love to see Nymphadora once she's out of her Saturday class, of course."

First glancing at his subordinates, Dumbledore steepled his fingers on his desk and said "Indeed. Well, as you requested, both Severus and Minerva are present. The floor, as the saying goes, is yours."

"To begin, the purpose of this meeting is to discuss Professor Snape's allegation that Harry Potter cheated during class." Mr. Tonks started, coolly professional.

Severus sneered "There is no allegation. I said so, in class. I repeat it here Potter cheated. And my- - -"

"Let us not display emotion just now." Albus interrupted "Now, Professor Snape has my complete confidence. As do ALL the Hogwarts staff. Potions is a uniquely concerning subject for control, due to its potentially explosive nature."

Mrs. Tonks scoffed "There are plenty of ways to ensure safety without shouting down children and engaging in namecalling."

"I call a cheat a cheat and do not require your approval." The Potion Master countered with barely disguised wrath.

Mr. Tonks only noted the hostility, but commented without reference to it "In my profession we try to not draw conclusions when not supported by fact."

"Are you calling me a liar?" this, from Snape, was more accusation than question.

Mr. Tonks countered smoothly "Such a thought had not begun to consider the possibility of crossing my mind. You did, however, accuse young Mr. Potter of cheating. What is your reason? What did you see? What did he do?"

"Why do I even have to justify myself to you?" sneered Snape, he then looked at Dumbledore expectantly.

The couple grinned; at each other, their charge, and the administrators. From her robes Mrs. Tonks drew a pair of scrolls that she handed to "Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, this is a limited temporary custody agreement between Ted and myself and Harry. Our rights and responsibilities clearly delineated. I perhaps do not have the same accolades as Professor Snape, but I am a certified Potions Mistress. Harry has stated he was made to produce the Boils Cure both in class, and during a detention. And, this morning under both of our close supervision. There is a reason that potion is an early attempt in Hogwarts, it is among the easiest. That does not detract from the quality of the work. Accounting for experience, I could not have done better. I certified this batch for St. Mungo's use."

"High praise indeed, Mr. Potter, well done." The Head of Gryffindor gushed.

Albus leaned forward and asked "What, precisely, is the purpose of this meeting, Andromeda?"

"Simply, fairness for Harry." She answered "Harry did NOT cheat, as evidenced by his ability to repeat performance. He should not have been punished. The taken points should be restored. Publicly. We are willing to discuss recompense for the inappropriate detention."

Severus looked sour, and about ready to object vigorously. Albus stopped him with a gesture and spoke "It is unwise to violate the considerable autonomy of a professor. It largely fosters a positive educational atmosphere."

Harry betrayed a little of the drain of his busy day, and that some of the conversation was over his head, repressing a yawn.

"School records don't stand up to that, Headmaster." Mr. Tonks interjected "While that has been your policy, both as Headmaster and in your prior role as Deputy, previous administrations have even been dictatorial in control of the classroom. Regardless, teachers are human, they make mistakes. This is one such. And should be rectified."

Albus stroked his beard thoughtfully, and looked at the burgeoning anger in Severus, also contemplating the disapproval he read behind Minerva's neutral expression. He answered "It is for the greater good of the school that I support all of my professors in their classroom decisions. I will not overturn a decision I was not even present to witness."

Mr. Tonks held up a hand to preempt an emotional retort from his wife "Harry was right, he truly does need someone on his side. And without disrespect, even Professor McGonagall is not that person. We are entirely in agreement with discipline when appropriate. Neither of us got through Hogwarts without detention. As I see it, Harry deserves points for a job well done. I do wonder if Professor Snape has something personal against the boy. But it sounds illogical in the first week of class."

"The decision has been made, Theodore." Said the Headmaster, radiating authority "The matter is closed. You may go."

The couple nodded in apparent acceptance and signaled their charge to follow them out in silence. He did so, displaying a plainly unsatisfied look. Which he expressed outside "Well! Didn't get much outta that."

"To which, we're both sorry, Harry." Said Mrs. Tonks, holding a stiff expression "Professor Dumbledore has clearly forgotten both my husband's accomplishments AND my heritage. My family is well known for enforcing its rights… by any means necessary."

To Harry, that sounded ominous "Err… what're you going to do?"

"This was his chance for an easy fix." Mr. Tonks was just as harsh as his wife "As for the next step, I do not mean to be keeping secrets from you, Harry, but there have long been rumors that Hogwarts hosts one or more of what is called Legilimencers, or mind readers in the Muggle world. Protecting you mind is an art that can be taught, but not that fast. At a guess, three days before it hits the fan. We also have some friends in news."

Abcij

The following Friday's breakfast was disrupted by the arrival of a usually minor publication. An owl landed beside Harry:

THE QUIBBLER

September 11, 1991

While not an issue as earth-shattering as the Rotfang Conspiracy, a recent meeting of the Hogwarts Board of Governors was disrupted by Andromeda, a Potions Mistress formerly of House Black and her husband, Ted Tonks, a Muggleborn attorney. The professional couple brought forth a complaint related to a student. No less a personage than the so-called Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter.

Firstly, contrary to popular opinion, he was not raised in a magical castle, nor killed a dragon, nor kept one as a pet. The Tonks have assured your reporter that Harry Potter was brought up in a cookie-cutter house in a Muggle neighborhood. There will hopefully be more on this later, for now just bare it in mind for an ending question.

Young Harry learned of his true heritage much like a typical Muggleborn would. A discrepancy here that procedure has at least a Head of House of Hogwarts performing the task. In his case, he was introduced by Groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid.

During young Mr. Potter's first period in Potions Professor Severus Snape asked him questions few Pureblood raised upperclassmen would get right. What are munksford? Wolfsbane? A beazor? We've all brewed the Boils potion, even if an OWL in the subject escaped you. And Harry brewed it most excellently. Of sufficient quality to be used medically. A skill Harry himself attributes to long experience.

What makes this news is the alleged unfairness as reported to the Governors. After getting belittled for his failure to answer the aforementioned ingredients questions, Harry was declared a 'cheat' by Professor Snape. Acting in the role of Harry's parents …at his request… the Tonks asked for evidence. By their account, that may be summed up as nothing more than Because I said so.

As a parent, would this be sufficient proof for you? My daughter starts Hogwarts next year and I tell you that, no doubt, she will get more than one detention in seven years. But NEVER for cheating. The Tonks, at that meeting, received a pledge to have the matter fully investigated by the Board.

In conclusion, it should be noted Mr. Potter has already been punished in this matter. He served a lengthy detention and cost Gryffindor, his House, a whopping 50 points. Given the reception he has received, the Tonks on Harry's behalf, wonder if, possibly, Professor Snape has some kind of grudge against a boy he only met two weeks ago. We at The Quibbler invite anyone with possible knowledge to write in.

By:Xenophilius Lovegood

Harry looked up from reading the article with a big grin and handed the paper to Hermione whose nose was quickly embedded. He flinched at the stab of pain he felt when his eyes connected with Professor Snape's. He gave no thought to the possibility that might have to do with Professor Quirrell.