A/N: Thank you to a guest reviewer who informed me of an error in my first chapter. (Note: if anyone is confused about my use of single quotation marks in dialogue, as was picked up by another guest reviewer in my 2-shot, it is just how things are done in Australia. Why grammar cannot be a worldwide standard, I will never know, but truth be told, I prefer our way so will stick to Australian punctuation as best I can. I will no doubt have other errors, so feel free to let me know - but try to be gentle.) I have received a lot of lovely responses to this piece and once again, I thank you for your encouragement. This will not be a super long story, and I am letting the characters dictate what they say and where they take it. Personally, I just feel like I am there for the ride, and am attempting to get it down as best I can, to allow me to share it with others. These "what ifs" come about when I am struggling to sleep, and instead of getting frustrated that I have once again awoken at 2am with no obvious reason, I while away the hours of wakefulness by picking a scenario and playing it out in my mind. The only downside is that often, when I try to write it the next day, it doesn't come out as clear as it was in my head. But these characters have often given me respite from my own heartaches in life, so hopefully my attempts to relate what I sense in them will, at the very least, bring a lightness to your day. All just a bit of fun in the end.
Darcy paced in the library, trying not to put too much hope in Elizabeth managing to join him before breakfast. He had discreetly let her know that it was his habit to read here in the quiet morning hours, hoping she would understand his surreptitious invitation. He had arisen early, impatience getting the better of him, and had now been fairly punished for his optimistic hopes. He had just reached the window for the umpteenth time, looking out on the lazy drizzle running down the glass, when he heard a small noise behind him. He was smiling, even before he turned around.
'Good morning, Mr Darcy,' said Elizabeth, with a matching smile.
'Miss Elizabeth.' Darcy bowed in welcome and came toward her. 'Did you sleep well last night? The rain was quite heavy at times. Were you disturbed by the noise?'
'No, I confess I paid it no attention whatsoever. I was rather weary when I retired last evening and took full advantage of the opportunity for slumber, now that Jane no longer suffers from fever. And yourself?'
'Adequate, I thank you,' replied Darcy, though in truth he had lain awake for many hours thinking about their arrangement. He indicated the matching armchairs by the fire and followed her thither while asking, 'Have you had a chance to see your sister this morning? Is she still improving as you had hoped?'
'Yes, she is still sleeping soundly, which I am sure is a good sign.'
'I am glad to hear it. I gather the two of you are remarkably close. I know her little, but she speaks very highly of you.'
'That, Mr Darcy,' laughed Elizabeth, 'is no credit upon my character. It is how she speaks of everyone. She has the rare ability of seeing the absolute best in people, though on occasion I would argue she assumes the very best. But you will not find a truer or more generous heart than hers.'
'I could name one other person immediately, whom I would describe as true and generous. Did you not walk more than three miles to Netherfield on a cold muddy morning to nurse your ailing sister? And have you not offered me honesty and true friendship, generously listening to my explanations and forgiving my previously poor behaviour.'
'You paint me in a rather favourable light this morning, Mr Darcy. I had no notion when we agreed to be friends that I would gain such an appealing benefit. I will be quite smug and self-satisfied if you continue in this vein, and perhaps become unbearable. It might be wise to dispense such charm sparingly.'
'I think I am willing to take the risk, Miss Elizabeth, and will watch with interest as to the repercussions.'
'Hold on, Mr Darcy, I thought you were to be the experiment, not I? You are leading with an unfair advantage if you are allowed to change the arrangement and make me the specimen.'
Darcy held back his laugh. He had never enjoyed a conversation with a woman more. 'I understood that you were going to be part of the experiment; I am to practise my manners upon you first and remain receptive to your tutorage in social acumen. Therefore, your personal reactions must be noted as part of the feedback, surely.'
'Goodness, what have I got myself into I wonder. Alright, Mr Darcy, I concede on this point. But I still feel you have a vast advantage.'
'Any advantage I have will only serve to level the playing field. For in my observations of your character, Miss Elizabeth, you have yet to show a weakness.'
Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. 'You do realise I hope, that the more you compliment me, the less believable they become. But it was very nicely done, and with such frequent reprise, will render them an innocent diversion.'
Darcy smiled and leant back in his chair. 'What shall we talk of then, Miss Elizabeth? I will follow your lead.'
'I do have a question for you about last evening. The discussion we had on Mr Bingley's character, how much of what you expressed was your true opinion and how much were you playing devil's advocate?'
'I might enquire the same of you, Miss Elizabeth, though the fact that I enjoyed myself immensely probably renders it irrelevant. I strongly suspect our true opinions on that which we debated last night, are not too dissimilar from one another in reality. All character traits can have a strength and a weakness. A compliant temper can run the risk of being too compliant, just as a resolute character can be too resolute. Both, I believe, require logic and reasoning to balance their cause.'
'Only logic and reasoning? Where does affection, trust and faith play a role in your outlook?'
Touché, Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy's smile becoming even warmer. 'See, you have brought balance to my argument, the full complement being required for the best chance of happiness in life. But last night I spoke of Bingley, who already possesses those afore mentioned elements– affection, trust, and faith in others – in abundance. I emphasized those things which I felt would help bring balance to his character. A character, I might add, of such eminent value to me that I consider him one of my closest friends. Conversely, my own character is more of the resolute disposition, and therefore I find I tend to gravitate to those whom I instinctively feel will challenge me to find a similar balance.' Darcy refrained from mentioning his belief that she was such another; her own nature bringing equipoise to his own.
Elizabeth sat quietly for a moment under his watchful gaze. His words seemed to constantly surprise her and penetrate more deeply than she would have anticipated. She shook her head in wonder, laughing.
'How do you do that, Mr Darcy? It is becoming rather vexing how you seem to take the wind out of my sails.'
Darcy chuckled. 'But is there not a part of you that enjoys our conversations, as much as I do?'
Mock gasp. 'How forward you have become, sir,' her eyes giving him all the affirmation he needed.
'Miss Elizabeth, in my defence, you did say that we could be friends, allowing me a taste of freedom within our discussions to express what I feel without fear of giving false hope. This is me, without the social constraints that I subject myself and others to.'
'Touché, back to you, Mr Darcy. And in truth, it is a far more appealing persona, I assure you. Perhaps even too appealing. I will need to think on it. In the meantime, I am just struggling to amend all my suppositions that I once held about you. To be equally frank, your current character is charmingly responsive, good-natured, and entertaining, without any sacrifice of intelligence or losing clarity of thought. A vast contrast to the stoic, reserved, impenetrable Mr Darcy that you have hitherto projected. So please excuse my occasional bewilderment. I am slowly adjusting.'
Darcy inclined his head in thanks, secretly relishing every aspect of her compliment.
Elizabeth suddenly chuckled as a thought occurred to her. 'The poor Bingleys. They seemed unable to make sense of what they saw before them last night. Does no one ever disagree with you, Mr Darcy?'
'It is certainly rare for a young lady to do so.'
'I can imagine that to be true if they are often like Miss Bingley. Is she always so persistent in her attentions toward you?'
'It has not always been so, but of recent times it has been quite… marked.'
'And no reason that you know of that may have led to the change?'
'I am not sure,' responded Darcy. 'I believe she celebrated a birthday recently, if you think that might be a stimulus, but I also may have been less guarded with her due to my friendship with her brother. As I mentioned, I am not truly comfortable with strangers, therefore tend to gravitate to those I am already well acquainted with. Dancing with Miss Bingley while at a few balls over the last couple of seasons may have perhaps given the wrong impression.'
'The lots were certainly cast against you, Mr Darcy. You are too wealthy, too handsome, and too clever by half to be ignored or overlooked by single women. I see now how it is quite a hindrance for you. Is there not a woman of your acquaintance in your own circles, an aunt maybe, who could direct you to safer waters? A woman whose heart is already engaged elsewhere, perhaps would be a safe person to converse or dance with on occasions? It is voicing the obvious to suggest that if you were married or engaged it would mitigate the risks. Have you an aversion to the institution in and of itself?'
'Not at all,' Darcy replied. 'My own parents, though marrying for practical reasons, grew in fondness for one another resulting in a marriage of respect and affection, if not love. My mother was the daughter of an Earl and my father of an ancient and well respected lineage. They portrayed in their alliance the balance of wisdom and feeling that we discussed earlier. It is just such a union that I hope for myself. It is the appropriate candidate that remains elusive. I have one aunt pushing her own daughter toward me, saying it was the wish of my mother, but my cousin is not of a strong constitution, nor do I believe we would suit. My other aunt has proposed various debutantes, many from the peerage, but they all seem to be educated to appease. How is a man to know what a woman genuinely thinks, if she just agrees with everything he says? It is for this reason that I like to observe my subject of interest while she interacts with others.'
'Goodness, who would have thought that your situation would be almost as limiting as that of a woman's. But your reasoning seems sound. Perhaps you need a scout who can infiltrate the female lines to also watch their behaviour amongst other women when no men are present. I can assure you, that can be very illuminating. But perhaps none of us would pass such a test. Except for Jane,' Elizabeth finished as an afterthought.
Darcy chuckled. 'Yes, a confederate on the inside would be very helpful, but she would need to value the things that I do. My aunts often fail in that regard.'
'You mentioned that you had a sister. Is she of an age to be out and milling amongst the swans of society? I have heard you speak very highly of her.'
Darcy smiled fondly. 'Georgiana is only sixteen and very shy. To my shame, she does not possess the confidence for such a task even if she was of age.'
'Why to your shame? Shyness, or lack of confidence, surely does not deserve such harsh judgement?'
'If you knew all, perhaps you would think differently. Our inherent shyness is not to our shame, but I am her guardian and I let befall her something that shattered her emerging fragile confidence. That is to my shame, Miss Elizabeth. I failed her, and though I have tried to right the wrong…' He let the statement hang open as he looked to the fire and shook his head.
'Sir, I am so sorry. I should not have pressed you. I…'
'No, Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy interjected, leaning forward. 'You did not overstep any boundary. I need this. I need to talk to someone who might…' He looked into her eyes. 'I need your honesty Miss Elizabeth. More than you can possibly know. I don't know why, but talking with you, I feel… I can breathe a little easier. I feel glimmers of hope in humanity once again, breaking down my jaded attitudes.' Darcy saw the look in her eyes and abruptly stopped talking. Drawing back he said, 'It is my turn to apologise, Miss Bennet. I have said too much.' Darcy stood and walked to the fireside, his back to her as he gathered his thoughts.
Awkwardness now seemed to clutter their earlier rapport. Frustrated with himself, Darcy closed his eyes for a moment before speaking into the silence. 'Miss Bennet,' Darcy began, 'I should not have divulged so much, laying such a burden upon this friendship. I sincerely apologise.' Still unwilling to witness whatever her expressive eyes would show him, he only partially turned his head. 'I hope you will forget this conversation and allow us to put it behind us.'
Darcy heard Elizabeth rise and approach, but he did not turn around.
She touched his arm sympathetically. 'Not a chance of that happening, sir,' she said gently.
Taken aback, he directed his eyes toward Elizabeth and beheld the soft expression of her compassion.
'Mr Darcy, I offered you my friendship,' she said softly, 'and this is what friends do.' He nodded ever so slightly. 'I treasure your trust in me,' she continued, 'your candidness, and your honesty. If I can help relieve any part of this burden by listening, I will gladly do it. Perhaps you sensed that deep down when you were willing to strike this bargain of friendship with me.'
Darcy reached his hand out and covered her own. He met her eyes. 'You, Miss Elizabeth, are an extraordinary woman.' At that moment all he wanted to do was bend down and kiss her. He suspected he was playing a dangerous game even with his own heart, but somehow he knew his words of need for this open friendship were true. So instead, he pressed her hand gently with his own and prayed to heaven, God would grant him a wife just like Elizabeth.
It was she who found the antidote for their unspoken words. 'Mr Darcy, what say you to a bracing walk along the avenue? The rain has stopped, and if we stay to the path and take an umbrella, I believe it will do us both some good. I find when I cannot effect direct change on the bigger things in life, I better appreciate the little things after a brisk morning walk, especially the warmth of a fire and a hearty breakfast upon my return.'
Darcy laughed. Suppressing an impulse to hug her, he instead gave her hand his expression of gratitude before relinquishing it. 'A perfect suggestion, Miss Elizabeth. Let us change into sturdier footwear, find a few extra layers and I will meet you by the French doors on the east side that lead out to the garden.'
