A/N: Another chapter in quick succession, as they go hand in hand. Bon appétit!
'Last night,' began Darcy, as he and Elizabeth walked together outside the next morning, beyond the sight of prying eyes, 'was at least an improvement, would you not say, on my social manners? How did you describe me the first time we spoke openly? Something about my tendency to either ignore, dispute, or glare in company?' They both laughed, and Darcy felt the playful pressure of her hand, that was once again tucked neatly in the crook of his arm. Just where he liked it. 'Your suggestion to give compliments to groups rather than individuals,' he continued, 'is such a simple yet effective measure, that I feel somewhat foolish having not considered that stratagem long ago.'
'Yes, you performed exceptionally well, Mr Darcy,' replied Elizabeth. 'It was I who spoiled things by causing a division in the company last night. I am becoming so accustomed to your allowing my impertinent teasing, that I forget it is a path Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst would be loath to follow. It may behove me to curb my bantering when in their presence.'
'Not totally, I hope. It is your rousing banter that makes conversation with you so interesting, Miss Elizabeth.'
'I think I could say the same of you, Mr Darcy. You do provide a stimulating challenge. Do you think we confounded them all in the end after we employed a decoy of token criticism to one another? What was conversation like after Jane and I left?'
'Any reference to our skirmish was duly avoided by all. I am not sure they know what to make of it in truth, which means we have probably achieved our objective.'
'I am pleased, though a little fine tuning of our manners toward each other when in company will not go amiss. If you are to practice on me, I need to replicate more refined comportment.' She paused for a moment before chuckling to herself. 'Goodness, I am beginning to sound like my mother!' Looking up at Darcy, Elizabeth added wryly, 'perhaps she has been right all along.'
'You are placing me in a position, dear friend, where I feel I must defend your character. Trust me, you are a breath of fresh air and I would not have you change for this assignment. I admire you just as you are.'
Elizabeth laughed. 'How delightful are your compliments, sir. I feel wonderfully impervious to all self-reproach now.'
'I am glad,' Darcy chuckled, 'but you do make compliments easy to administer, Miss Elizabeth. This openness you have allowed me, creates such a flow of unguarded appreciation that I am beginning to fear I will start sounding like Bingley, gushing over every new female acquaintance I meet. Do you think this will be a common outcome of the changes I am endeavouring to make?'
All of a sudden Darcy found himself walking alone, the loss of her hand on his arm leaving a cold imprint. He turned to find her eyes searching his countenance.
'What do you mean, Mr Darcy?' her voice low, and devoid of its customary playful tone.
'Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy replied, his brow furrowing in confusion, 'I meant no offense.'
'Please sir,' she implored quietly, 'in the spirit of our honest friendship, would you know if Mr Bingley's manners toward my sister are mere common friendliness on his part or is he displaying genuine interest?'
Darcy suddenly understood where her thoughts had veered to. 'Miss Elizabeth, I do not know how seriously attached my friend is at this stage. I have seen Bingley in love many times, but I would not consider him flippant. Often there is a reason that things have not progressed further; the lady may prove herself other than she first appeared, or her family may deem Bingley not worthy, as his wealth has come from trade. I only meant he is always quick to compliment, to believe in the goodness of others, but I assure you he has a true and loyal heart.'
'So…,' she drew out the word before slowly continuing, 'you are saying he is not one to toy with the affections of a woman for transient entertainment?'
'No, Miss Elizabeth, such exploitation would not be in his nature. I am sorry if I gave any impression that he could be capable of such behaviour.' Darcy paused, searching her face. Regret was etched into his tone as he implored her. 'Forgive me for my ungainly approach. I was trying to express, with misplaced humour, the change I feel inside when I am with you; it being almost effortless to think well of the world. It is a sensation I am unaccustomed to. You are easy to trust, Miss Elizabeth, and though I acknowledge I need to be less cynical, I fear I would be in a pitiable state if I became too trusting and gullible.'
'Oh,' she responded, her anxiety visibly melting away. The tone and brevity of her answer, however, hinted at the depth of fear she had briefly entertained. Darcy waited for her to continue but she seemed to be processing a lot of thoughts.
'Miss Elizabeth, are you well again? I did not mean to distress you. I have said too much perhaps.'
'No, not at all,' she replied with a smile, the effort to appear her usual cheerful self, not lost upon Darcy.
'Would you be willing to take my arm again, Miss Elizabeth, to reassure me?' He noticed a slight hesitation before her compliance. They began walking once more but a strange silence pervaded. 'Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy began, trying to bridge a frightening void he now felt separating them, 'would you allow me the privilege of speaking very candidly with you once again. I feel ill at ease to let the subject drop without further understanding, but will do so, if you wish it.'
'Of course, Mr Darcy,' she replied, 'if you feel it necessary. But I assure you, I trust your account of Mr Bingley's character.'
'If you will indulge me, I do feel it necessary; not only for you, but for me also.' Darcy briefly touched Elizabeth's hand resting on his arm, to shift her attention. 'Could we walk this way?' he asked, directing her farther into the gardens. She complied, patiently awaiting his pending revelation in silence. They walked side by side for a while.
'Miss Elizabeth, I am going to put myself in a very vulnerable position,' Darcy finally said, 'and I ask for your forbearance and the renewal of your promise not to let me disturb your equilibrium of heart.'
Elizabeth was duly surprised by the seriousness of his words. She responded with equal solemnity. 'I promise you can trust me, Mr Darcy.'
To shore his courage, Darcy covered her small hand that was still tucked into the crook of his arm and held it there. 'Thank you,' he replied, before taking a deep breath. 'Please forgive me if anything I relate causes you distress. I, in truth, know not the best way to begin, so I will just do so. Miss Elizabeth, I have been struggling with new feelings which are foreign to me and I fear may complicate, and even potentially ruin, what we have in this friendship. I think I may have alluded to it once before, but in truth, the open honesty of your friendship is…, please excuse the phrase for I cannot think of another, it is intoxicatingly addictive.' Darcy was fearful Elizabeth might pull away but she kept hold of his arm. 'I have felt on guard for so long,' he continued, 'for more than a decade, and these past few days have felt like a banquet of food to a starving man. I find myself wanting to run headlong toward it, and know I am only saved from my own injudiciousness by the generosity and worthiness of your character. In short, this behaviour has all the hallmarks of falling in love. But I know my duty,' he continued quickly, 'and the likelihood that it is partly the novelty of the openness we are allowing that is causing this weakness of mind, though I mean no offense by that remark. It is just that normally I can reason, talk myself out of such a state, and yet with you and this openness we are sharing, I have no defences to employ.' He halted their progression and looked into her eyes. 'You represent all that I crave; the challenge to my outlooks, the teasing to soften my pride, the intelligent conversation to stimulate the monotony, the safety to open myself up fully. Can you see how dangerous this could be, if I became this vulnerable to someone without your integrity?'
Elizabeth stood rooted to the spot, looking up into his face, speechless. What an astonishing mix of heart melting confessions and… sobering rationalization.
'Oh, and before you answer,' Darcy said, his larger hand still covering her own, 'would you also do me the honour of reserving your supper dance for me, if Bingley does give this ball he is speaking of? I will be guided by you for whatever other partners you suggest I dance with, but for my sanity, could you give me this one concession?'
The request broke Elizabeth's silence as she burst out laughing. The sheepish expression on Darcy's face diffused into blissful contentment when Elizabeth hid her face against his arm. Dear God, what are you doing to me, wondered Darcy as he felt the vibrations of her laughter through his own body. Before he could do anything foolish, like yield to the desire to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her hair, he steered them into safer waters by taking a step back and declaring, with his hand over his heart, 'You wound my pride, Miss Elizabeth. Anyone would think you had just been propositioned by an over eager four year old.'
Elizabeth strove to compose herself as she began wiping the tears from her face. Darcy gave an exaggerated sigh and produced a handkerchief from his pocket, but he was now chuckling too. She accepted it, had one false start partway through drying her eyes when she began laughing once more, before finally settling down with a couple of slow deep breaths. 'I am sorry Mr Darcy,' she eventually said, her hand on her chest to steady her emotions. 'That was very unladylike of me, even if you are a puzzle of surprises. But please,' and she looked up at him, speaking more solemnly, 'I wish to assure you most earnestly, that if an over eager four year old were to ask me for a dance, I promise I would never, ever, laugh at him.'
The mischievous glint in Elizabeth's eyes that emerged during her speech, produced in Darcy the strongest desire to kiss her. Fearful he might actually succumb to temptation, he chose instead to accuse. 'You, Miss Elizabeth, are a teasing fiend!' Then they were both laughing together. Dear God, he thought, I am surely in love with this woman. Help me get out of this without hurting her. Laughter transitioned to chuckles as they resumed their stroll, before finally settling back into smiles of contentment.
'So, Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy began again tentatively, 'how do I stop myself becoming a besotted fool with every woman I open up to?' the question an act of faith as he proffered himself for whatever mercy she possessed. 'You are capable of befriending a multitude of people while maintaining a level head. How would you coach someone through their first infatuation?'
'I would begin by making sure they do not starve themselves of company,' she replied, nudging him playfully.
'Well, I am trying to amend that, am I not?'
'Yes you are, Mr Darcy, and doing it most admirably, I might add.'
Seeing he was somewhat earnest in this request, Elizabeth ceased her teasing and became more thoughtful. 'In truth, Mr Darcy,' she began again in her most encouraging tone, 'I believe you are already engaging to some extent, with the other steps I might have suggested.'
'Such as?' he prompted.
'Such as,' she replied, 'normalising it by reassuring them it is natural to have some of these feelings, while tempering it with the admonishment for appropriate choices. Staying in groups. Respecting propriety. Having a small cluster of trustworthy people to confide in who will talk reason. Being open to correction or the opinions of others.' She smiled up at him before concluding. 'See, Mr Darcy, you are doing all of these to varying degrees. Perhaps we just need to focus on staying in groups more, as our unrestrained candour is creating a type of intimacy that can make things confusing for all concerned.'
'Do you… feel it too?'
'Mr Darcy,' she scoffed, 'it may surprise you to hear, it is remarkably easy to withstand a handsome man who displays arrogance, contempt, or disdain for those around him. But when you discover he is thoughtful, kind, open, playful, charming, and intelligent, as well as being so openly honest as to profess a fondness for the person in question, it can create a considerable challenge, even for the most resolute of souls.'
Darcy's initial hesitation melted into a smile of relief. 'But as a stalwart supporter of my reform, you would not abandon me at this critical time, would you?'
'No, but it is an issue that requires serious consideration,' said she, a sudden sombre inflection in her voice.
'Indeed.' Darcy responded, trying to match her grave tone.
'Perhaps we should not spend so much time together,' she proposed, her face serious.
'Miss Elizabeth, we hardly spend any time together as it is,' Darcy argued. 'I would be lucky to get half an hour per day to converse with you.'
Her eyes smiled first. My feet are made of clay, Darcy thought.
'True,' she conceded, with an expression of fondness that Darcy cherished beyond reason. 'Well, in that case,' Elizabeth continued, 'we need to adhere to decorum more in the half hours that exist.' She paused. 'If you could portray, at such times, your old air of disdain,…'
'It was not disdain.' Darcy interjected, half defensive, half laughing.
'Perhaps, but you mimic it so very satisfactorily,' Elizabeth said.
Darcy surrendered with a smile. 'Touché, Miss Elizabeth. So I am to mimic disdain when we are alone. Remind me how that relates to the adherence of decorum?'
'Patience, Mr Darcy. It will become clear in time. As for me, I shall aid the process by behaving in ways you find frustrating. What irks you with society ladies?'
'Appeasement. Fawning. Attention seeking ploys.'
'Interesting,' Elizabeth drew out the word, smiling.
'What are you concocting in that clever head of yours, Miss Elizabeth?'
'Mr Darcy, no compliments please when we are alone. It is now forbidden.'
'I stand corrected,' Darcy said, giving a mock bow. 'Allow me to amend. What are you concocting in that barely tolerable head of yours, Miss Elizabeth?'
She laughed and patted his arm. 'That is the spirit, Mr Darcy. How gracious you are to condescend to enquire after my thoughts and in such concise eloquent terms to almost render this plebeian maiden silent.'
Darcy chuckled and shook his head. 'I am not convinced this will work.'
'Well, sir, if that be so, we will have to default to the measure of limited time in each other's exclusive company. Our half hour is surely up.' She tugged gently on his arm, heading them back toward the house. 'We can ponder this more, and reconvene at a later time, perhaps with Jane as a chaperone. Until then, we should try to meet only in groups. How does that sound?'
'Disappointing,' Darcy replied honestly.
'Well, if you are finding it hard to adjust, I give you leave to think of my own, and my family's foibles in the most unbecoming manner. To think, mind you, not speak of. If I ever hear you disparage them, I shall step on your toes – often – when we dance. For all their faults, I still love them.'
Darcy raised his one free hand in defensive surrender. 'I promise. No verbal defamatory remarks. Am I still allowed to turn my back on them?'
'You tease!' said Elizabeth and she swatted his upper arm. He caught her hand, held it until she looked into his eyes, before kissing and releasing it. At last he had her blushing.
'It is my Christian duty, Miss Elizabeth, to kiss the hand that strikes me,' Darcy stated smugly. 'Now what were you saying?' he asked as he tried to initiate their walk again with feigned indifference.
She did not follow. 'You are very quick, Mr Darcy,' she finally conceded with a smile. 'That was an exceptionally good comeback.'
'Thank you.' Darcy gave a small bow. 'Sadly, I cannot return the compliment. Your flattering remarks are not achieving the level of irksome I require of you when we are alone.'
'Yes, yes,' she replied warmly, 'that point is yours, Mr Darcy.' She retook his arm, which had been dropped in her moment of self-consciousness. 'Now do stop being so distracting,' she chided. 'Where was I?' Elizabeth paused for a moment before saying, 'That's right. Ultimately, for this experiment to work, we need to keep in the forefront of our minds, the honest and clear goals; we both know your obligations require you to find a wife of high social standing, and we are practicing ways in which you will be able to safely engage in society with more, shall we say, fitting conduct so as not to scare off the worthy.'
Darcy only nodded, still content with his stolen kiss.
'Jane and I will be heading home soon,' Elizabeth added. 'I suspect any cravings for my conversation will diminish to conventional levels when I am not constantly in the house. Perhaps my absence will give you more opportunity to practice on others. You have shown yourself more than competent. I am living proof, as a convert to the "Mr Darcy Appreciation Society". And let me reassure you once more, no one belonging to this neighbourhood will try to compromise you, even if you were to show them the kindness and humour you have displayed to me over the last few days.'
Darcy's earlier triumph felt suddenly flat. How did she profess her feelings of admiration and forecast the withering of his own so indifferently? Forcing a smile he replied, 'You are probably right, Miss Elizabeth.'
Approaching the house, Darcy suggested he leave her and go around by the stables. He had dressed in riding gear on purpose and would enter at a later time via a different entrance. Elizabeth approved and headed in the opposite direction. Against his better judgement, Darcy stopped by some trees and watched her saunter happily along a gravel path until she was out of sight.
