His (16)

Autumn was an unwelcome season for his life right now. The chill that came with it did nothing at all to warm the cold his heart was feeling as of late.

Sat in his desk, pointedly ignoring the piles upon piles of documents lying around his office, and Shikamaru's demands at being less of a drag, he dozed on, replaying the events that led him to this point in life. Some time had passed since he'd been forced to move back into his old shitty apartment. How long was it now, three, four weeks? He didn't even remember well. Life was a blur of confusion, of conflicting thoughts, fighting emotions.

He should be sad, depressed even. But he wasn't. His soul was destroyed, sure, but so much was going on in his head that if he combined all the feelings together and blended them into one, he knew the end result would just be numbness. What plagued his mind the most, however, was wondering if he actually regretted anything. Part of him did, hurting his family was probably the worst thing he'd done in life so far. Although, not fighting for them was probably worse. When Hinata kicked him out, he just left. Left and found her, because of course he did. The world had a funny way of punishing him, that was more like a blessing. His wife kicked him out and not even an hour later, he was kissing another woman.

What a disappointing man he was.

Sulking, he took a look around his office, contemplating everything he had and wondering if he deserved it all. His old self definitely did, he thought. Was the man he had become worthy, however? A man capable of cheating on his wife. Nothing sounded worse to himself than that. Shikamaru had disagreed, though. Naruto had confided in him in the past few weeks, needing to vent and let it all out. His friend wasn't shocked at all.

"You two are such a drag," was all he had to say after Naruto had spent hours telling him what was happening.

Annoyed at this short reply, Naruto asked, "is that all you have to say to me, really?"

With a sigh, his friend added, "you shouldn't have married Hinata, and you know it. We all know it. Even in the wedding I could see that all you wanted was for Sakura to pull you away from her."

Jaw on the floor, Naruto protested in defense, "but- I-"

"Yeah, yeah. You did the right thing, by not leaving your bride at the wedding, sure. But it would have been better than whatever it is you're doing now, with angry kids, two broken marriages and the loneliness you're facing- which apparently is bad enough for you spend the last five hours talking to me instead of working." He said, angrily pointing at the mess in the office.

The Hokage quietly began to work after that, murmuring under his breath about his advisor's imprudence, although he acknowledged it was well deserved. He distracted himself easily by organizing documents, signing some missions and scanning important stuff to organize them better on his computer. Wondering why he hadn't distracted himself this way earlier, when he heard the sound of boots stomping angrily in his direction. Looking up from the screen, he greeted his son with a smile.

"Why did you and mom break up?" Boruto demanded, crossing his arms and looking at him in the eyes. "And don't dare lie to me, I'm not as young and foolish as you think!"

Naruto sighed, knowing this moment would come soon, but dreading it arriving so quickly. "Okay, take a seat," he asked his twelve-year-old son, gently. "Please," he added when Boruto hesitated. After a while he sat. Content with that, Naruto decided to tell him the truth, at least some of it. "I hurt your mother," he confessed seriously, not breaking eye contact and giving him no bullshit, as requested. "And because of that, she wants some time apart. It may only be a little while, or it may be... longer than that. But it's up to her, I'm trying to respect her choices."

Boruto wasn't happy with that response, and he showed it. "Why haven't you made it up to her so you can come back home?!"

"It's not that simple, I can't just walk in there and nor respect her feelings, son."

"If you wanted to respect her feelings so much, you wouldn't have cheated on her!" Boruto yelled, much too loudly for his father's comfort.

"I- what?! I didn't-"

"Yes you did!"

"What are you talking about?"

"With Sakura-san!"

"Sakura is my friend, Boruto."

"That's exactly what she said. Why do you both deny it when it's so obvious?!"He continued yelling.

Naruto was horrorstruck, and didn't even know how to respond. But then he realized. "Wait, what do you mean by 'that's exactly what she said'?"

"I confronted her, and she's a liar, just like you!" Boruto screamed, standing up from his chair and stomping his way out of the office. Naruto followed.

"Why do you say that, Boruto?" He asked, desperate to know if he'd seen or heard anything. Maybe he was giving himself away with his sudden fear, but he needed to know.

Boruto paused at the doorway, looking at his father up and down. "Sarada told me that his father left. It's obvious. You broke up your marriages so you could be together!"

"That's only a coincidence-"

"Sarada said-"

"Sarada is confused, like you." Naruto interjected. "We married very young, right after a huge war. Some people just fall out of love, son. You'll learn that with time."

Boruto's eyes filled with tears as he heard his father confess this. "So... so, you don't love her anymore?" He asked, crushed, his voice trembling.

"I- of course I do! I always will, just... we're having issues, and I can't say what will happen right now, Boruto. But I promise, I'll never abandon any of you. "He reassured his kid, heavy hearted. "I'll always take care of you three, even if your mom and I do end up separating for good. It's a promise, okay?"

He spent the rest of the day with him, taking him out to eat some ramen, and having a chat, while constantly reassuring his son that he won't disappear, no matter what. He tried to be strong for him, but in reality, he was feeling the worst he'd ever felt, as a failure of a man, a failure of a dad, and of course, a failure as a husband. However, he wouldn't let his mistakes drag him down. He would grow from this, as always, and find ways to mend it and make things better. He would find a way, he knew.

Feeling his heart crumbling inside his chest, he thought of her. How devastated was she, he wondered. If he was feeling so bad, he could only imagine how destroyed she was after being accused of adultery by a child. Without much of a thought, he decided to try and cheer her day up, it wouldn't hurt to drop some dango at her office. Would it be wrong, he questioned, but figured it wasn't. After all, they were going through this together, because of each other. Might as well stick together through it, he concluded, on his way to her favorite dango shop.