A/N: Sorry for the delay. Sometimes life just bombards our best laid plans. I will finish this story though, for those hanging in for the ride :)
Their consciousness of one another as they walked side by side was tantalizing, despite the physical distance they ensured was between them; a strange mixture of comfort and excitement. The pleasure of their occasional sideways glances at one another shifted when Darcy noticed Elizabeth begin to scan the surrounding area nervously.
'Miss Elizabeth, is everything alright?'
When her eyes met his he was surprised to see an unfamiliar anxiety. 'I have only just realised,' she began quietly as she slowed to a standstill, 'how much I have put you at risk. I was not thinking.' She pressed one hand to her forehead. 'I have not seen anyone but if we were observed…' she left the sentence hanging.
'Miss Elizabeth, if you feel in any way that I have compromised you…'
'No,' she said in quiet exasperation. 'Mr Darcy, you are certainly not to be held responsible for anything that has transpired. I am angry at myself as I realise the possible implications of my reckless actions; that if witnessed by another, could lead to gossip and potential slander. I feel jittery inside, scared that I may bring trouble upon you.'
'No,' Darcy murmured softly, shaking his head. He took a step closer but, considering her words, dared not reach for her. 'You, nay we, have done nothing to be ashamed of. You extended compassion, offering me something I did not even know I needed. Something pure. And, if we were seen and it is misconstrued, surely you know I would not hesitate to do the honourable thing.'
'But that is exactly what I fear!' declared Elizabeth. 'I know you would not leave me disgraced, but I would have put you in a position equivalent to forcing your hand. Effectively ensnaring you, aligning me with all those women you have been trying to protect yourself from.'
The absurdity of her comparison broke through all his former concern. 'Elizabeth Bennet! – you are as far from those conniving scheming women as one could get,' Darcy admonished, managing to clamp down on his laughter but unable to keep the evidence of his labour from his voice.
Elizabeth's apprehension began to give way, warmth spreading through her at his kind-hearted rebuke.
Feeling they were making progress, Darcy gently entreated her. 'Elizabeth, look at me.' The intimate way he said her name sobered them both, a bond of trust and openness anchoring them together. 'If it were not for the possible taint upon your reputation, I would delight in the possibility of such a conclusion, for then my duty would be the means of joining us rather than keeping us apart.'
There was sadness in her expressive eyes as Elizabeth said, 'But we both know your duty is requiring grander things of you.'
Darcy shook his head. 'Nothing is more important than the honour of an honourable woman, Elizabeth. That has never been up for debate. Not even by my father.'
Elizabeth could hear the utter conviction in his words. 'Thank you Mr Darcy. I do appreciate your reassurance.' She gave him a wane smile. 'However, it would still feel unjust should the scenario eventuate, especially after you have been so open from the beginning that your obligations are circumscribed within a different sphere.'
The look of earnest hope retreated from Darcy's eyes. Elizabeth could feel him withdrawing into his old posture of self-possession, but rather than shutting her out, Darcy's next words drew her in.
'On my father's deathbed, he did not exactly demand a promise,' Darcy shared, 'but he earnestly entreated me to always put Georgiana and the good of Pemberley before the pleasures of youth. He acknowledged it would be a huge responsibility for me at two and twenty but he said he believed in the strength of my character.' Darcy's eyes sought Elizabeth's as they both experienced the weight of such words. 'I have been trying to live up to his faith in me ever since.'
As Darcy paused in his narration, his eyes took on a distant look before he continued a little wistfully, 'I wish you could have met him, Elizabeth. He was an exemplary man, one whom any son would be proud to call father, teaching by living example the hardest lesson of all; that every privilege comes with responsibilities.' There was a small silence before Darcy uttered quietly, 'It is something Wickham has never understood.' The words no sooner out, Darcy dropped his gaze, staring at his feet for a moment before lifting his head and meeting Elizabeth's eyes. 'My father impressed upon me throughout my life that though masters of Pemberley, we are also only temporary guardians in our own way for the generations that are to come; both for those who work on the land, and our descendants who will own it. We owe something to all those under our care.'
A half smile graced his lips as he said, 'Though I am proud of what I have been entrusted with, and do not bemoan my responsibilities, there have been times this past fortnight I have envied Bingley his beginnings, with only a legacy to create, rather than one to uphold.' Darcy took a deep breath as he looked down into the eyes of the woman his heart desired, but could not have. 'I cannot always pursue what I want, Elizabeth, but I find your kindness and remarkable intuition often leaves me lost for words. That is why I admire you so, and respect your earlier insightful appeal to leave what we just shared to its own natural state – soft and undefined. I want to treasure it as such always, whatever the repercussions. If it has created compromise, I will thank God in Heaven,' Darcy said with a smile, 'and feel all the blessings of unconventional chance. If it does not, I will still thank God for the gift of those moments with you, holding them within me until my memory gives way. The only thing that will cause regret to fill my heart, is if you ever regret it.'
'You say the most beautiful and confounding things at times,' Elizabeth said, her countenance soft and full of wonder.
'What I feel for you is both beautiful and confounding,' Darcy replied, 'but I am trying to find a way to hold it all in balance so I do not lose this connection with you. For some reason it feels important that I do not give up on this endeavour, though I often question if it is wise. Perhaps I am being unfair. Would it be better for you if I left Hertfordshire? Or perhaps if I did not… openly share so much with you?'
Elizabeth shook her head. 'No, I feel privileged to be where I am.'
'You are such a paradox for me Elizabeth. I somehow feel both adrift and anchored within your presence,' Darcy confessed.
Elizabeth laughed. 'I am the paradox? Your enigmatic words often leave me feeling so turned about, I don't know if I should be coming or going, while simultaneously making me feel wholly safe and curiously fortunate. That, Mr Darcy, smacks of witchcraft!'
Darcy laughed. 'You cannot imagine how hard it is not to pull you into my arms again when you tease like that. I am still exerting a lot a self-control but this time of a very different nature.'
Elizabeth shot him a smile. 'Let me know if I should start carrying a pistol in my reticule.'
Darcy gave a full bodied laugh, raising his hand in mock appeasement as he shifted back. 'I dare not come any closer, Miss Bennet,' he said, reinstating the most proper form of address. 'Perhaps we would both be safer with the magistrate?'
Elizabeth laughed too, the levity back in her step as they resumed their course down the lane.
'If you ever feel unsettled by anything again, I hope you will not hesitate to tell me,' Darcy said, giving her a sideways glance.
'My fit of nerves is over Mr Darcy, if you are truly so sanguine about bearing a life sentence,' said Elizabeth.
'As long as you are the penalty,' Darcy replied, inserting the caveat, 'I will do my penance willingly.'
Elizabeth smiled and nodded. 'Then I will endeavour to banish all my former fears. Having nervous complaints is quite exhausting. I cannot imagine how my mother sustains them for so long.'
Darcy chuckled as he met her smiling eyes. 'Then I am glad we found a cure.'
Lucas Lodge came into sight as they reached the end of the lane. 'Would you be willing to partake in the discussion I have with Sir William?' Darcy asked. 'I would value your input. I will need to substantiate my disclosures about Wickham's propensity for debts and gambling, and the measures to warn merchants to exercise caution when extending credit, should be straight forward. However, the more delicate business of how best to protect the women of this region, may possibly be better understood by you.'
'I am ready to assist in any way I can,' Elizabeth responded, 'though I confess I have very little experience in such things. As for prudent advisors, there is no-one more practical than Charlotte. She has the clearest, most pragmatic outlook of anyone in the county. Would you be amendable to her input too?'
Darcy nodded. 'I trust your judgement.'
'She would be a perfect candidate for a partner at the Netherfield Ball,' Elizabeth added slyly as they approached the door.
'Duly noted,' Darcy said with a smile.
The contributions made by the ladies were an asset during the meeting with Sir William. Miss Charlotte Lucas was everything Elizabeth promised and between the two of them, they presented interesting questions and thoughtful perspectives; the extent of business entities to be notified, regimental expectations and restrictions, as well as how best to spread word regarding caution without absolutely blacklisting his name entirely. Having formulated a brief plan, they all took a conveyance to Longbourn, and more discussion ensued with Mr Bennet. They had been talking for some time when a message came from Mrs Bennet asking if the visitors would like to stay for dinner.
'I thank you for the invitation Mr Bennet,' said Darcy, feeling a sudden craving for quiet and solitude, 'but Bingley knew only that I would be out riding. He will be expecting me home presently.'
'Perhaps a wise choice,' nodded Mr Bennet sagely. 'Our cousin was singing your praises, Mr Darcy, when he and the girls returned from their walk. Mr Collins has since come to understand that his most esteemed benefactress is apparently your aunt. As much as I would like to be witness to you receiving the effusions of his delight over the connection, it may be uncharitable at this juncture to press you to stay for such inroads.' There was a twinkle of mirth in Mr Bennet's eyes that Darcy found so familiar he could not help glancing Elizabeth's way.
'If you want to avoid all possibility of interception,' Elizabeth said archly, 'we could help you slip out the servant's entrance,' she offered.
'I imagine you would derive quite a bit of pleasure from that Miss Elizabeth,' Darcy replied good-humouredly, 'but my manly dignity demands I disappoint you. I will take my chances with whatever risks are between here and your front door.'
Mr Bennet chuckled, glancing between the two of them. Feeling her father's scrutiny, Elizabeth promptly directed the attention to their other guests. Charlotte was easily induced to stay for dinner, and though Sir William did not oblige on this occasion, he offered to send the carriage for his daughter later that evening. It was met with a friendly demurral.
'Let the girls decide when their evening is over,' said Mr Bennet with nonchalant hospitality, 'unless you have need of your daughter by a specified hour. We will be happy to send her home in our carriage when she has had her fill of the silliness to be found inside these walls.'
'As you wish,' replied Sir William, rising to his feet. The other men rose to their feet also. 'Mr Darcy, thank you for your timely information,' Sir William said with a stately bow by way of a parting gesture. 'I am most gratified by your consideration toward our community and will call on you tomorrow afternoon as arranged.' He turned to Mr Bennet. 'I will see myself out. Best of health to you both.'
Mr Bennet turned to Darcy. 'May I have a brief word with you privately before you take your leave?' Darcy adjusted his already correct posture and consented with a single nod. Seeing Elizabeth's hesitant look, Mr Bennet shooed her away. 'None of that Lizzy! This giant of a man is in no danger from me. You girls run along and go find your own entertainment.'
Darcy bowed to the ladies who both glanced his way as they absented the room. He gave a hint of a smile when he briefly caught Elizabeth's eye.
'Well, you have come as quite a surprise,' declared Mr Bennet to his guest, in that same forthright manner Darcy had come to associate with Elizabeth. 'Wine?' Darcy shook his head. 'Do you mind if I do?'
'Not at all.'
Mr Bennet indicated Darcy take a seat and then took the opposing one, his wine in hand. 'I see you have patched things up with my Lizzy,' Mr Bennet said with casual good humour. 'She appears to respect you now.'
'Yes sir. I apologised for my behaviour during her stay at Netherfield and she kindly allowed me a new beginning. I have been trying to make good on the grace bestowed. Your elder daughters are a credit to you Mr Bennet.'
Mr Bennet laughed. 'My elder daughters you say? Quite right, quite right. The younger ones are almost a lost cause. You are prudent to be exclusive in your compliment. Jane and Lizzy are the only sensible ones of the lot.'
'Mr Bennet,' Darcy said hastily, 'my commendation was not meant as a slight upon your other daughters. I hardly know them. It is only Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth that I have had opportunity to converse with and therefore can extend, in honour of them, a sincere compliment.'
'Save yourself the trouble, Mr Darcy,' waived Mr Bennet. 'I am under no delusions. But I do thank you for the value you give my two elder daughters. It is clearly apparent that my Lizzy has thoroughly forgiven you. A fortnight ago she would have happily fed you to the wolves rather than reprove me with her looks just now. You must have some skill at grovelling to have dug your way out of that incriminating first impression.'
'I am not sure I would term it quite like that, sir, but Miss Elizabeth was honest with me and I responded in kind.'
'She took you to task, did she?' Mr Bennet asked, leaning back in his chair.
Darcy gave a wry smile. 'A reasonable assessment.'
Mr Bennet laughed. 'And you are still willing to be in her company. Well done, I say,' and he raised his glass to Darcy in salute. 'It is the sign of a true man when he neither shrinks from a clever woman, nor tries to overshadow her.'
Darcy gave a small nod of acknowledgement, surprised that Mr Bennet's words bore such a resemblance to his own father's.
'Well, I had better let you go,' said Mr Bennet, setting aside his half finished wine and standing to his feet. He gestured with his arm for Darcy to precede him out of the room. 'There will still be much to take care of in the upcoming days no doubt,' he continued as they walked through the house and out to Darcy's waiting horse, 'but if you have the inclination, feel free to drop by and avail yourself properly of our hospitality, such as it is. My wife would be thrilled to host a dinner for the Netherfield company, but even a morning visit from you and Mr Bingley would furnish her with hours of pleasant speculations.'
Darcy, unsure how best to answer such a statement, defaulted to a noncommittal response. 'Thank you. I will let Bingley know of your invitation.'
In return, Mr Bennet offered him his hand. 'Nice to properly make your acquaintance, Mr Darcy,' he said, regarding the tall man earnestly. 'My sincerest thanks too, for the warnings about Wickham. You have done us all a great service. We owe you a debt of gratitude.'
'The safety of all your daughters will be recompense enough,' Darcy replied. 'I need nothing more.'
Mounting his horse, Darcy nodded respectfully to the elder gentleman before making his way down the drive at a trot. It was only once he was out of sight of Longbourn that Darcy let his mind wander over the events of the day, the growing chill in the air unable to penetrate the warmth generated by his memory of Elizabeth's arms around him. He let the story play on repeat as he nudged his horse into a canter, the late afternoon enveloping him as he covered the distance to Netherfield, soothed by the rhythmic beat of his horse's powerful gait.
