This question prompted me to start wondering...
what would be the safest way to transport harry off Privet Drive without anyone risking their lives?
by u/snoke123 in r/harrypotter
My answer:
Heh. Warning: silly answer inbound.
The word 'transport' in the question made me think in crossover terms.
The hum of the transporter buffer waited in Transporter Room Three. There had been a conference earlier when the new information came to light. The anomaly had appeared three days ago over Earth and the Enterprise had been in orbit at the time.
Data was excited - well, as excited as an android could be. He had been running scans for that whole time, even as the other crew slept. So far, there was absolutely no indication of any danger.
It was merely a portal to the past, with a spot positioned at the point of a triangle. One point was at the Enterprise's current location near one of the Lagrange points and the other at a relatively small suburb called Little Whinging.
With nothing particularly pressing to do, as the Enterprise was in orbit for a diplomatic function that she normally wouldn't be handling in Earth orbit, it was decided that the flagship's crew would continue on with what they'd been doing. Several science officers and temporal experts waiting for assignment to the ship anyway was hustled aboard to contribute.
What they found was horrific. Systemic abuse of a child, unexplained phenomena that humans normally didn't do, and peculation. The last was explained when the child was identified as one Harry James Potter. When they cross-referenced his name in the historical files, they found something interesting.
He and his wife had never died. They had disappeared tracelessly after two centuries.
This smelled like a mystery, and on the Enterprise, Data decided that he enjoyed a good mystery. First things first, he had to figure a good way to talk to the boy. It took a bit of thought - and a lot of convincing of Captain Picard - but references to the Enterprise's namesakes in temporal mysteries and their own encounters with the Devidians and later Zefram Cochrane had Picard blinking owlishly at him before agreeing.
"If nothing else, Commander, it gets us out of that damned conference!"
The android tilted his head as the captain's tone registered.
"Indeed, Captain."
"Suggestions, Mister Data."
Several milliseconds passed before the Enterprise's Second Officer answered.
"Transporters, sir. I've discovered a layered anionic field around the residence '4 Privet Drive' that should not be there in this time period. I also found a good deal of dried blood of different ages that multiphasic analysis indicates belongs to this Harry Potter."
The Captain started at that.
"Is he in danger, Data?"
At the hurried sound of his voice, Data frowned. He drew that from the emulation subroutine and it seemed to fit.
"I believe so, sir, but not at what level currently. There is a group of people gathering at his dwelling with unknown intentions."
Picard weighed that in his mind. The Temporal Prime Directive might take a beating. Still, what was life without some adventure?
"Very well, Mister Data. Confer with Mister LaForge and Mister Barclay on the required engineering tasks and Mister Worf on the required tactical options. I want to see that boy safe. Grab everyone if you have to. Time is of the essence."
Data nodded.
"Aye, sir."
The android stood and left quickly. Picard sat behind his desk for a moment, then rose. He tugged the front of his uniform free of any wrinkles, and stared out of the window at the curvature of the Earth. After twenty minutes had passed, the comm beeped.
"Data to Captain Picard."
"Go ahead, Data."
"You're needed in Cargo Bay Two, sir. Counselor Troi will be needed as well. Doctor Crusher has been summoned as well."
"On my way."
As the doors parted to let him pass, he reflected that the cargo bay transporters must have been realigned to quantum level to transport lifeforms. There would be answers from Data, he was sure.
Harry opened his eyes. Whatever had happened was apparently over. His vision had gone... sparkly? Something had happened that he'd never seen before and he disappeared from Durzkaban. He looked around to see the others that had been with him. Hermione was already up and headed his way. She slung her arms around him and held him tight.
"Harry! Where are we? Are you all right? Did you feel that?"
He raised his hand to cut off the flow of questions.
"I have no idea."
A doorway of some kind opened up and through it stepped a man in a red and black uniform of some kind. His mouth dropped.
"Mister Potter? My name is Jean-Luc Picard. You're aboard the USS Enterprise."
If he hadn't had a grip on Hermione, she would have fainted in shock. As it were, he could only say one thing.
"Er... what?"
Serious answer: Dobby, of course.