"I have the best idea for Hallowe'en."

That was the first thing that Dora said to him as soon as the Weasleys said that they were hosting a Hallowe'en party. A Hallowe'en costume party to be exact. Because Molly apparently needed a reason to insist on feeding everyone. Dora's eyes positively lit up at this idea. Which, if Remus was being honest with himself, should have been a cause for concern. Too bad he didn't pick up on this until it was too late.

As much as he loved his wife (and he really, really loved her), she was very like how Sirius was. Both of them had that kind of chaotic energy about them. You never knew what they were going to come up with next. And really, chaotic was the kindest way to describe them. Completely insane was probably more accurate. Must be a disowned Black thing. Though Andromeda was pretty sane, wasn't she? Hmm, that was something that he was going to have to look into. But she had been his mother-in-law all these years and he hadn't really noticed anything...

But the main thing to take away from this that his wife wasn't exactly normal so when she said something like "I have the best idea" then he had a very valid reason to be concerned. To be very concerned, in fact. The most concerned. Especially when she said absolutely nothing else about said idea after her initial statement. No elaboration, no mention, no nothing. Even though it was now Hallowe'en night. Which did not bode well for him.

"Do you know what your mother has planned?" Remus asked his youngest, swinging her up into the air.

Aurora shrieked and giggled at the movement. Oh?

"You do know?"

He hadn't been expecting that. Not at all. After all, small children weren't exactly the best at keeping secrets.

"Uh huh," she said, finger in her mouth.

"Oh? Did mummy show you?" He asked, putting her back down and crouching down to her level.

Aurora nodded again. "Mummy's is pretty."

Well, that wasn't necessarily telling him anything. Or reassuring him. Toddler standards of beauty weren't exactly I'm line with that of the normal world. For example, Aurora had dressed herself in a pair of her knickers for a top her brother's PE shorts and he sparkly, light up, Disney Princess trainers and declared herself "bee-you-tee-full" the other day. She would have gone out in it too if it hadn't been so cold and she had acquiesced to exchange the knicker top for a jumper and coat. He needed some sort of clarification. Some detail. Remus snorted softly. Right. Clarification and a toddler. This was going to go well.

"Can you tell me what makes mummy so pretty?" He asked, praying that this would actually work.

Aurora stared at him and then shook her head, hair flying everywhere.

"No?" He asked in a ridiculous voice which made her giggle.

"Nuh uh."

"And why not?"

"Mummy told me not to."

"She did?"

More vigorous nodding.

"So, you're not going to tell me?"

"Noooo."

Bribe. He needed a bribe. Toddlers broke easily, he knew that much with three of them now under his belt.

"Not even for chocolate?"

Bringing out the big guns, most definitely. He wasn't playing around here. Ah ha! That got him a curious head tilt. Thank Merlin that Aurora was very much his child and loved chocolate. She was obsessed with the stuff. Seriously loved it. But toddlers definitely shouldn't be having a lot of chocolate so Aurora didn't get as much of it as she or he would like. Therefore, it was the perfect bribe. One he felt completely okay using too. Hey, he never admitted to being a perfect parent.

Her little mouth formed a small 'O' shape. Yes, take the bribe, take the bribe. But even now she was weighing up her options and her brow furrowed. Which was absolutely adorable, by the way, but he was not going to let himself be distracted.

Remus reached into his pocket and held out a bar of Honeydukes. Yes, of course he always had some on his person. He didn't think Aurora's eyes could get any bugger but they did. Her hair had reverted back to its natural form she was so amazed.

It almost worked too, her hand was even outstretched and everything, but of course the universe conspired against them.

"Remus?" Dora asked, coming into the room, a letter in her hand. "What do-" then she came to a stop when she noticed the scene in front of her.

The scene being that be was crouched down to Aurora's level, handing over a bit of chocolate.

He scrambled to his feet and hastily put his hands behind his back.

"Hu, mummy," Aurora chirped, giving her a wave. "Daddy is giving me chocolate."

See what he meant about toddlers not being able to keep secrets?

I see that, sweetheart," Dora said in far too sweet a tone. "Are you supposed to be having chocolate?"

"No," Aurora sighed, little shoulders slumping.

"So, what does that mean?"

"No chocolate?"

"No chocolate," Dora confirmed.

"Okaaaaay."

Aurora was pouting hard at that pronouncement but didn't argue. She was soon distracted by Dora saying she could get her child-sized broomstick and play out the back with it. It had been raining for the past few days and Aurora hadn't been able to go out and play.

"Trying to bribe your child, Remus?" Dora asked with a raised eyebrow as Aurora skipped out. "That's just low."

"How else am I supposed to try and figure it out?"

He could technically sneak around and look for the costumes but he felt like that would be crossing a line.

"You could just wait and see when I'm ready."

Now it was Remus' turn to pout.

[xxxxxx]

In the intervening days he got absolutely nowhere on the costume front. The boys didn't know and he wasn't sure what Dora had bribed Aurora with but she wasn't talking either. Oh, so it was bad for him to bribe the toddler but not her?

There was nothing he could do except wait for Hallowe'en. Which he did. Impatiently. Did time always pass this slowly? He felt like it shouldn't pass this slowly.

But it did. Although, time did pass because that's what time did. And soon it was the day of the party. The day and he still didn't know what Dora's big idea was.

Dora, on the other hand, had gotten increasingly excited each day up to this point and the wide grins he had been receiving had been freaking him out. Just a little. Okay, a lot. But he was allowed to because his wife could, quite frankly, be insane sometimes. His only distraction was trying to stop his children from eating all the sweets they got for Trick or Treaters. And sneaking some of the chocolate for himself, of course.

He did eventually banish them from the kitchen and get into their own costumes. This left him alone in the kitchen wiping up the sticky fingerprints. They had managed to get into some of the sweets. Hey, it had been three against one! Because his wife was upstairs allegedly preparing for the big surprise.

"Hey,"

Speak of the devil, Dora's head poked around the door. Deliberately not showing her body.

"Hi," he replied, throwing the cloth in the sink. He'd rinse it later.

"Got a second?"

"I suspect I'll need a lot more than a second," he replied. "But yes."

She gave him an unnerving grin and flung the door open fully.

"Ta da! What do you think?"

There was only one thing he could say to the sight in front of him. He couldn't day anything else even if he tried, words were failing him at the moment.

"Dora why?"

Of all the things that they could be for Hallowe'en why did she have to choose this? Seriously, there were so many couple ideas out there, she didn't have to choose this. But she did.

"Because it's a great idea. I told you that, Remus."

"It's... it's really not."

Well, that was a lie. Dora's costume was pretty good. And she looked good in it. Obviously. The problem was the costume she was holding that he assumed was for him. That was what was not very good.

Right. First the good. Dora's costume. A red cape with a red hood and a dress that was almost too short but not quite - they were going to the Weasleys, after all. And her combat boots. You couldn't forget about her combat boots. Oh, and there was a basket by her feet.

"Guess who I am," she demanded excitedly.

"Little Red Riding Hood."

It was fairly easy to figure that out. Granted, he didn't think that the original fairy tale looked quite like she did.

"Yes!"

"Though I don't think she had combat boots on."

"All the better to kick the wolf with."

"I don't think that's how the story goes."

"Eh. Details. It's what she should have done."

Well, Remus wasn't going to argue about that. Especially not when his red riding hood was the one who was wearing the boots.

"It's a good idea, isn't it?" She asked him far too innocently.

Remus just glared at her. Yes, Little Red Riding Hood was a good costume idea. Normally. It was easily recognisable and it was from a fairy-tale. However, he knew exactly why she chose this particular costume. And he wasn't very happy about it.

"Don't you think I look cute?" She asked with those deceptively big, innocent eyes of hers.

Which wasn't helped by the fact that she was very deliberately making her eyes bigger. No. He wasn't going to fall for it.

"Of course, you look adorable. Gorgeous, actually."

She beamed at him. Perfect. Hopefully that meant-

"But it's a couple's costume so you have to wear your part as well."

"No. Absolutely not."

He was not going to go out in public wearing... wearing that. He'd never live it down. That was some sort of one-piece suit that was covered in fur which he assumed was meant to be a wolf costume of some sort. No. He wasn't doing it.

"I am not putting that on," Remus said resolutely, crossing his arms.

"Oh, come on."

"Dora, I am already a wolf. I do not need to dress up as one. Ever."

"Of course, you do! Because it's funny!"

He gave her a look. "And how exactly is it funny?"

"Because it's a wolf dressing up as a wolf. How is that not funny?"

"No."

"Oh, come on."

"No."

It was embarrassing. It was humiliating. He wasn't going to do it.

"You could at least put on the ears," she said, holding them out.

Remus glared down at them. These fluffy, ear-shaped monstrosities were on a black plastic headband and looked like the ears had been somewhat chewed. They were the worst part! He was not putting them on his head.

Dora's bottom lip poked out.

He took them from her and jammed them on his head.

"Nothing else," he tried to insist.

She just grinned at him which didn't reassure him in the slightest.

"Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that."

"Nothing you can say or do will change my mind," he insisted, crossing his arms.

He felt ridiculous. There was no way this was as effective with damned fuzzy ears on his head. The upward quirk of Dora's lip said that quite clearly.

"Wait right there," she told him and don't give him a chance to agree or disagree before leaving the room.

She returned mere seconds later with a skipping Aurora, already dressed in her own costume, in tow. Because, you know, this humiliation wasn't enough.

"Daddy! You have puppy ears on!" She said gleefully.

"Wolf," both he and Dora corrected her.

Wait, why was he correcting her? He wanted no part of this.

"Mummy was going to go as Little Red Riding Hood," Dora was explaining to their daughter.

"Like the story!" Aurora said excitedly. "Big eyes and big teeth!"

Ironically enough, this was a favourite story of Aurora's. Because of course it was.

"Exactly! But daddy doesn't want to do it."

"Daddy is not being a cute puppy?" She asked, tilting her head to one side and looking far too adorable for her own good.

Remus groaned. That was a low blow, using his own daughter against him. It wasn't fair.

"Wolf," Dora corrected her.

"Wolf puppy," Aurora agreed.

"A wolf puppy is a cub," he said, unable to pass over a teaching moment.

"Wolf puppy cub."

He sighed. That would have to do. He was not going to stoop to arguing with a toddler. This time.

"And no, I'm not going to be a wolf cub."

"Wolf puppy cub."

"Not one of those either."

Aurora pouted at him. "Aw. Puppies are cute."

"And your father is very cute," Dora agreed.

"Still not doing it."

Both of the females he loved most in the world decoded that their response to that would be to both give him puppy dog eyes. Which was cheating in his opinion.

"I put the ears on," he tried.

All that did was make them pout harder.

"Oh, come on, Dora."

"Please?"

"Yeah, daddy. Please?" Aurora added.

Felix and Teddy decided that this moment was the best one to come down the stairs. They were both in their costumes. Felix a cat and Teddy a vampire bear. Yes, his eldest child was just as weird as his mother. How Teddy came up with something like that was beyond him.

"Are we going?" Teddy asked. "We're ready," he indicated to himself and Felix. "Nice costume, Aurora."

"I'm a princess witch," she said proudly.

"We are," Dora said. "As soon as your father gets ready."

"I am ready," Remus pointed to the ears that were unfortunately still on his head. "See? I'm a wolf."

"That's not a costume," Teddy scoffed. "That's part of a costume."

"Not a big bit either," Felix agreed.

"Anyway, dad's already a wolf," Teddy said with an eye roll.

"Exactly. That's why it's funny."

"But Hallowe'en is about being something you're not."

It was official, Teddy was now his favourite child.

"Exactly!" Remus said triumphantly.

"Well, you're a werewolf, not a real wolf," Dora said triumphantly.

That's not really that different."

"Sure, it is," Teddy said proudly, always eager to show off his knowledge on wolves. "There's the tail and the snout and the-"

And Teddy was no longer his favourite child.

"Can we go now?" Felix complained. "I want sweets."

"Yay!" Teddy and Aurora cheered.

Yes, let's go now. That would suit Remus just fine but, unfortunately, Dora was shaking her head.

"Not until your father puts his costume on."

That got him three pairs of pleading eyes in his direction. Really? That was more than unfair! But je could withstand it. He was strong. He was stubborn. He was impenetrable.

Felix's bottom lip wobbled and Remis felt himself deflate.

"Oh, give me the thing," he grunted, hand outstretched.

"Yay!"

Remus grumbled as Dora passed over the monstrosity with a sickly-sweet grin.

This was unfair.