I know it's not the holiday season in real life but this is where my timeline ended up so please enjoy some good news and holiday sweetness in this one and next :)
Will pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Piper's head as he held the child in his arms, seated in the armchair in his brother's living room. Erin gave him a grateful look when she exhaled again. She was so hot with the added weight of the boys and she was fairly certain that Piper could tell. Her little girl, who she really wanted to be snuggled into her side, had elected to stay close to Will after Jay left for court, a string of apologies leaving his lips.
Erin had expected a full-on meltdown at the prospect of Jay leaving, but Piper remained steady. While Will did his best to distract Piper, Erin got a quick debrief about school pick up from Hailey, which honestly had her feeling better instead of causing a spiral. Weeks before, Jay would have been beside himself at Piper's tears and the fact that she almost ran into traffic. This time, he was able to calm the child down, all while remaining steady himself. It was progress.
"Judge just entered the court room," Hailey told Erin gently. She had promised to rely all updates from Hank and Jay as soon as she got them. "Jury should be in in a few moments."
She nodded and pressed her hand gently on her belly. Baby B gave a small kick, followed quickly by Baby A. That was good. Feeling her boys rumble within her always made Erin feel more present. It was a reminded to slow down – physically, mentally and emotionally. "Thank you," she managed, clearing her throat, "Are um, are you hungry for lunch, Noodle?"
Piper shook her head. She missed her daddy, but she knew she and Erin were safe at home with Will and Hailey. "Is Daddy coming back soon?"
"Soon," Erin said, "As soon as he hears what the jury has to say. Then he'll be home." She tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure you're not hungry for lunch?"
"I had some snacks at school. At the holiday party," Piper murmured, "I got some peppers that looked like Santa hats."
Erin felt her chest tighten. It had completely slipped her mind that Piper's class was having a holiday party. She got an email about signing up to bring something and totally forgot. "Oh, shoot," she said, stifling the urge to curse, "I forgot about that sweetheart, I'm so sorry."
"Hailey and me got treats from the coffee place before school that I brought to class." The little girl offered a small smile to the detective who was seated on the other end of the couch. Hailey immediately looked up from her phone, cheeks darkening.
"Snipes mentioned it the other day," she said quickly, "When she didn't have any today…I just thought…I didn't mean-"
"No, no, thank you so much," Erin interrupted, "For remembering and getting the treats." She offered another grateful smile. "I don't know what Jay or I would do without you."
Hailey relaxed slightly and smiled. "Likewise," she replied, clearing her throat slightly, "I uh, I'm really glad to be here."
"I don't think Will would know what to do without you either," Piper said, patting his chest affectionately and giving a cheeky smile. She wrinkled her brow when Will's face paled. "I'm not wrong. 'cause I don't know what I would do without Hailey either."
"You're not wrong," he managed, his cheeks turning a deep crimson to match Hailey's, "Guess you just know what's on everyone's mind."
Piper shrugged and settled back against him. "I can't read minds," she said simply, "I'm just observant and I have good instincts."
"Hey, babe. It's me."
She startled, not realizing that she drifted off on the couch. Piper, Will and Hailey were no longer in the room with her. Instead, her fiancé was seated across from her on the coffee table. "Jay?"
He smiled softly, interlacing their fingers carefully. "Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling?"
"W-where's Piper?" she asked, glancing around the living room worriedly, "She was with Will." Erin swallowed when she saw her father figure standing beside Jay, lips together. She knew that look. It was his bad news look.
"He's got her upstairs with Hailey," he replied, "She's alright. I told her that after you and I talked, then we would talk as a family."
She managed a small nod. "Just tell me," she rasped, one hand resting on her bump protectively, "I can't…I just need to know."
Jay drew in a breath. "Bunny got ten years," he said gently, rubbing Erin's fingers carefully, "Logan Correctional. Medium security, and she could get out earlier for good behavior."
Erin sniffed and gave a nod. "Okay," she whispered, "I don't…I don't know how to feel." She drew in a breath and looked up to Hank, who remained stoic. "I should...I should be happy. She got what she deserves." Her voice caught. "She hurt Piper. She was such a shitty mom and-"
"She's still your mom," he murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "Even though you know what she did, there's always going to be a part of you that loves her."
She sniffed again. "I feel guilty," she rasped, "Like I should have done more so she wouldn't have to be behind bars but I know I couldn't have done anything else. I mean, I tossed my career for her." Erin exhaled shakily. "She let…she let them hurt me, and Piper. She tried to take Piper away from us. She told someone to shoot you." She looked up at Hank, her eyes misting again. She'd never forget hearing that Bunny had been responsible for trying to get Hank killed.
Jay was quiet as he continued to rub her fingers. "She'll have time to think about all that," Hank piped up, "And she won't be able to hurt you or your kids. Any of 'em."
A few tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. "And…and Kenny?" she asked, "They get him?"
The breath she didn't know she'd been holding whistled through her lips when both Jay and Hank nodded. "Twenty five," Hank told her, "Convicted on all counts. Maximum security at Menard."
Jay brushed the tears off her cheeks carefully. "It's over," he murmured, "It's over now. He's paying the price."
"But we are too," she managed, her voice cracking, "Piper…Piper is always going to be paying the price for what they did to her, what he did. No number of hours in a cell is going to change that." Erin swallowed and brought a hand to her chest. "I am…I am so angry."
Jay and Hank both nodded. "In the last year and a half, she has suffered," Erin choked out, "Her whole entire life. Her brain and her body and everything has been impacted because they were selfish and terrible fucking people. She…she doesn't ever get to be normal. They robbed her of that and I just-" Her voice cracked again and she shook her head. "I should be relieved he's in prison, and I am but I'm just so mad."
Jay moved from his seat on the coffee table to beside Erin, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head as she crumbled into his side, clutching his shirt in her hand. "You're allowed to be mad, kiddo," Hank said, taking Jay's previous position on the coffee table, "You're allowed to be mad for Peanut, but you're also allowed to be mad for yourself. Because they took a lot from you too."
"They don't get to take anything else," Erin said fiercely, putting a hand on her bump protectively, "They don't."
"Nothing else," Jay promised, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, "It's over. We're going to do everything we can to give Pipes as much normalcy as possible."
"Did…did Park think it was her testimony?" she asked, "That convinced the jury?"
Hank nodded slowly. "She was the reason Kenny didn't walk free," he told her, "Otherwise Bunny would have taken the ride for everything."
Erin grasped Jay's shirt tighter. "We are homeschooling her," she insisted, "We don't know how wide his network is and we are not taking any more chances, okay? She stays with us until we can confirm that she's not going to get fucking snatched from school again because our biological father has a vendetta against a ten year old."
Jay furrowed his brow. "Babe-"
"No, Jay, if she was the reason he got convicted, he is going to target her." Erin looked at her father figure and back to her partner, "I want everyone he ever talked to or met accounted for or behind bars before I let her out of my sight."
"He's in maximum security," Hank promised, "He's stuck in there for the next two decades." He looked to his detective, eyebrows raised as his daughter continued to shake her head. "Kid-"
"We put her on the stand." Erin swallowed again. "We…we put her on the stand, in front of two criminals in federal court. Her name is on the record, Jay's name is on the record and they need protection." She took a breath, hoping to steady her heart rate. She could feel her blood pressure rising. "I can't-I can't lose them."
"Pipes is on winter break for two weeks," Jay reasoned, rubbing her arm gently, "She'll be with us. We can talk about what comes next later." He kissed her forehead. "She's safe."
Erin wiped her eyes hastily. "Can you get her?" she asked Hank, "I meant it when I said she's not leaving my sight. I am going to be the biggest helicopter mom in America. I don't care if it's irrational."
Jay continued to rub her arm while Hank headed up the steps. "Babe-"
"Please don't talk me down," Erin begged, "Nobody kept her safe, for so long. We have to, okay? Promise me, Jay."
"I promise," he whispered, kissing her forehead again, "She's getting a security detail."
"You might be joking, but I'm serious," Erin said, lifting her head from his shoulder, "Platt likes me. She'd give me an officer for Noodle if I asked. Maybe even a detective." She turned her head to see her father figure emerging from the upstairs, hand-in-hand with her little girl. "Hi sweet girl."
Piper released Hank's hand and hurried to her parents, allowing Jay to lift her into his lap and hold closely. "I think Hank found out about Will and Hailey doing dates," she whispered, "'cause Will fell asleep on her while we were reading."
Erin smiled and buried her nose in Piper's soft hair. "You didn't see anything, right kiddo?" Jay asked, "My brother behaved himself?"
"More behaved than you and Mommy," Piper replied seriously, small smile forming on her lips when Jay's cheeks heated. "I'm ten, remember? Not a baby."
"You're still our baby," Erin said, smoothing her hair back gently, "No matter how old you get. Ours." She kissed the crown of Piper's head. "We love you so much, Noodle. And we are so proud of you."
"And lucky to be your parents," Jay followed up, giving Piper's head a kiss for good measure. He gave Erin's arm a gentle squeeze. "You're ours. Forever. And Bunny, and Kenny…we don't have to worry about them."
Piper relaxed against her daddy, relief evident in her features. "We don't gotta worry about them getting the boys? Or trying to hurt you guys?"
Jay shook his head, holding both his girls closer. Leave it to his sweet little bug to worry about her unborn brothers and her parents before worrying about herself. "They're both in prison," Erin managed, "For the bad things they did." She paused. "But just because they're in prison, doesn't mean that you or I did anything bad. Or wrong. They…they might be our biological parents, but we're not them, okay?"
The little girl gave a small nod of understanding. "Can…can they get out?"
Jay swallowed. "Not for a long time," he murmured, "And we're going to keep you safe."
Erin leaned over the crib, her heart in her throat. Growing up, she had to take care of Teddy and herself when both of them fell under the weather, but she had never had to be responsible for an actual baby who wasn't feeling well, especially when she wasn't at one hundred percent herself.
"Mama, Mama," Piper managed weakly, holding her arms out to Erin, "Mama."
"I know, baby," Erin cooed, stroking her hair back, "I know you're not feeling good." Her heart ached at just how badly her little girl wanted her. "I'm here."
"Mama," she begged, gripping Erin's wrists with cold and uncoordinated fingers, "Mama."
"I can't lift you right now," Erin choked out, tucking some loose hair behind the toddler's ears, "I'm sorry, my love. Mama's a little banged up." She grimaced at the pain in her ribs. She'd taken down an offender and landed awkwardly, resulting in some badly bruised ribs. Nothing was broken but Hank sent her home earlier.
And the following morning, Piper woke up with a fever. Jay was doing his best to juggle both girls and his job, but after catching a crime scene, it was just Erin and Piper in the apartment. The toddler was supposed to sleep through nap time until Jay got back to pick her up, but she'd woken up early.
Her heart cracked when the child's glassy eyes filled with tears and her chapped lower lip wobbled. "Shh," she tried, "Shh, sweetheart." Erin felt her own eyes dampen at just how upset Piper appeared. "I'm so sorry, baby."
Piper erupted into sobs as tears streamed down Erin's cheeks. She wanted to lift her into her arms and hold her close, but she couldn't. The cries grew louder until Erin couldn't take it anymore. She reached into the crib, bruised ribs be damned, until a gentle voice and a knock at the front door stopped her. "Erin, sweetheart, it's me."
Tears flowed down her cheeks quicker. "I'm coming in, honey," the kind voice said, "Are you okay? Can you hear me?"
"Mom," she croaked, "I-I don't know what to do."
Camille Voight hurried into the apartment, armed with several grocery bags. "Don't lift her," she instructed, placing the bags down hastily, "Hank told me about your ribs. Hi, little love. You and your mama aren't feeling too good, huh?" Camille reached into the crib and lifted Piper into her arms. "Oh, sweetheart." She held out an arm for Erin, "It's alright."
Erin shook her head. "She wants me," she managed, gesturing to the child who was continuing to reach for Erin, "And I can't help her and-"
"C'mon now," Camille soothed, pressing a kiss to her daughter's temple, "You're doing all you can, sweetheart. Why don't I get the two of you set up on the couch over there? We can get some ice on your ribs, and I can take little miss here for a quick bath to cool her down."
Erin carefully shifted from the mattress, ignoring the slight protest from her back. The boys were resting comfortably and their daddy was too, but she couldn't shake the feeling of needing to be with her little girl. Her anxiety about Piper's health was nearing an all-time high after the emails surrounding Piper's sick classmates. She'd already been through so much – the last thing her baby needed was the flu. And the sick baby Noodle dream didn't help.
She could tell by the baby monitor that Piper was sleeping soundly, cuddled up to a pillow just like Erin liked to do with her Halstead pillow (when the boys weren't in the way and she wasn't a thousand degrees), but the irrational part of her brain wasn't letting go of the thought of her baby crying for her, and her not being there. Piper had likely been sick and alone countless times in her young life given how fragile she was from years of neglect. Her little girl didn't need to experience that feeling ever again.
It had only been a dream, but it left a pit in her stomach. She had Jay, and Hank, and Will and Hailey…but she didn't have her mom. Camille wouldn't ever be knocking at their front door, ready to take her grandchildren into her arms. She wouldn't get to kiss her baby boys or marvel at just how beautiful Piper was.
Her heart caught when she pushed open Piper's bedroom door to see the sleeping form of the child she never thought she could love so much. Sometimes, it was overwhelming just how much she loved Piper. After the news of their biological parents settled, Piper remained cuddled between Jay and Erin on the couch, her tiny fist clutching Jay's shirt, the other hand delicately resting on the boys.
Piper's need for physical contact had brought tears to her eyes again and was a reminder of just how much the child had been forced to endure. Her little girl went years feeling unloved and alone. It was so unfair.
But with Bunny and Kenny behind bars, they could heal as a family. The family they'd always been, and were always supposed to be. The Lindsay girls.
Jay carried Piper to bed after she succumbed to sleep. As much as Erin wanted to bring her to bed with them, she and Jay had talked about routine and how important it was for Piper. Their little bug did so much better with structure, and part of that structure meant bedtime.
However, connection trumped structure. And this time, it was Erin who needed the connection.
She padded across the bedroom carefully, hoping to avoid startling the little girl. Erin eased herself onto the mattress, doing her best to keep her movements light which was no small feat carrying twins.
"Mama?"
Tears clouded her eyes at the sleepy voice of her sweet baby girl. She was Piper's mama. Not Bunny. "Hi, sweet girl," she whispered, shifting over on the bed, "I didn't mean to wake you. I just missed you. Is it okay if I stay here for a few minutes?"
A sleepy smile spread on Piper's cheeks and she immediately adjusted a pillow for her mommy. "You need another pillow for the boys," she murmured, moving the pillow that had been beneath her head to rest under Erin's baby bump, "That's what your doctor said."
Erin stroked Piper's soft cheek. Her little girl was warm from sleep, but she wasn't feverish like she had been in her dream. "You need a pillow," Erin replied, shifting again, "I'll be alright."
Piper shook her head and shuffled down on the bed so that she could rest her head on the pillow she moved. "I'll go right here," she suggested, "Me and the boys can share."
Erin swallowed the lump in her throat. "My babies," she managed, running her fingers through Piper's hair, "I love you so much, baby girl."
She kissed Erin's bump gently. "I love you," she whispered back, "I really love that you're my mama."
"It's really coming down out there," Jay muttered, taking in the winter wonderland that was their front yard. The snow was fluffy and dense, falling in big white flakes. "I might shovel the driveway now since it looks so thick."
"I will sooner be shoveling the driveway than you," Erin informed him, running a hand beneath his flannel to rest on the small of his back. Jay had poked his head into Piper's room in the early morning, relieved to see both of his girls in snuggled in bed. After a dramatic day that thankfully ended with the right decision by the jury, he knew how important it was that his girls had each other. "Your back is still healing, and shoveling heavy snow isn't the light activity you're approved for. You want a trip to Med on Christmas Eve?"
Jay turned his head. "Babe, how are we going to get out if we need to? What if your water breaks?"
"My water isn't breaking," she insisted, "I'm only thirty two weeks and these two are having way too much fun using my bladder as a trampoline and punching up my lungs." She took in a heavy breath. "Don't stress."
He raised his eyebrows. "Do we just trade off talking each other off the ledge?"
Erin nodded, rubbing his back. "Mm. That's our thing now, babe. We keep each other balanced. You tell me not to stress, and I tell you not to. And then we both stress about our kids anyway."
Jay chuckled and leaned down to kiss her nose. "I missed you in bed last night."
"I had a baby Noodle dream," Erin murmured, "Except this time, baby Noodle was sick and I couldn't do anything to help. And Camille had to come in as back up." She sighed. "I had to make sure this Noodle was okay."
He kissed the top of her head. "I get that. Sometimes after a bad dream, you just need the kid." Jay smiled when she nodded. "Speaking of, where is she?"
"I've got her putting on like four layers," she said seriously, "I woke up a thousand degrees, but she was shivering. Little bug doesn't retain as much heat as I do these days." Erin blew out a breath. "Her temperature's normal though. I took it twice. And I'm going to take it again tonight. Just because she's off from school doesn't mean she couldn't have picked anything up."
He had to smile. His girl was so protective of their baby. "I love Mama bear Erin," he whispered, "Well, I love all the Erin's. But Mama bear is one of my favorites."
"Making up for no mama at all," she replied dryly, "Since Bunny never brought me to a doctor, ever." Erin swallowed. "I still…I still can't believe she's behind bars. I mean, I can. Part of me thought she'd always end up there. I just didn't think it would take this long."
Jay rubbed her arm gently. "Yesterday was a rough day."
Erin nodded in agreement. "The fact that she slept through the night is a miracle," she murmured, leaning heavily into his side, "But she made it. Even though I was the one to wake her up." She exhaled when Jay's lips rested on the top of her head again. "You think we're ever going to sleep again once these two are outta me?"
"Halstead boys love a good nap," he assured her, "We'll handle it, babe." He smiled when he heard the familiar sound of little feet coming down the steps. "Hey kiddo. You warm enough in all those layers?"
Piper offered a smile. "I got your sweatshirt and Mommy's," she said, extending the sleeves that were way too big for her small frame, "And two socks."
Jay chuckled. "We might have to get you a third pair. You still look a little chilly to me. You want to try a pair of my socks from the-" He paused when a knock came at the front door. Piper immediately froze at the sound.
"Who made it here in a foot of snow?" Erin asked, raking her fingers through her hair. She wrinkled her brow and glanced down at her belly. "Guys, it's too early for wrestling."
Jay glanced out the window, unsure of who would be knocking at their front door in the middle of a blizzard. "Maybe it's Santa," he said, heading for the entryway, "Or the Amazon delivery guy."
"Last year Reid told our whole class Santa wasn't real," Piper whispered, shrugging her shoulders. "I already knew. But some of the other kids cried."
Jay resisted the urge to grit his teeth. If the bully from Piper's class the year before hadn't been a ten year old, he wouldn't have had an issue with some time in the cage. Especially for ruining Santa. "I'm glad you're not in class with that kid," he said, "I believed in Santa until I was twelve."
"That tracks." Adam Ruzek offered a wide smile when Jay opened the front door. "Always knew you'd be the last kid to figure it out."
"What are you doing here, man?" Jay asked incredulously, "There's a foot of snow."
"I woke up to a series of text messages from Burgess, telling me to get my ass over here to plow your driveway," he said, brushing the snow off his shoulders, "Something about you needing a way to the hospital if Adam and Kevin Jr. make a surprise appearance." He gestured to Kevin Atwater, who was already shoveling the driveway. "Kev's a machine."
"Kim sent you guys?" Jay shook his head, "Dude-"
"We all know you're not supposed to be lifting anything," he continued, "So don't be an idiot, and tell me where you keep the salt for the walkway." Adam offered another smile when he caught sight of Piper. "Hey there, Squeaks. You warm enough?"
"You're gonna shovel?" she asked, stepping forward to take Jay's hand. Even though her daddy was standing in the doorway, she liked to be with him whenever there were people in their house. He made her feel safe.
"You bet. Apparently Kim's stopping by with some holiday something or other as well. You want to keep an eye on your parents, make sure they're behaving? I'd help, but I need to supervise Kev."
Piper wrinkled her brow. "Supervise means you're not gonna actually help," she said knowingly, "Maybe I should do the supervising."
Adam put his hands on his hips. "You think I need supervising?" He huffed when Piper nodded teasingly. "You want to come hang out with Kev and me? Make sure Kev does the shoveling right?"
"Heard that," Kevin called, "I'm going to do this whole thing myself if you don't hurry up."
Piper looked up at Jay hopefully. "Can I go supervise?" she asked, "If I put my snow pants on?"
Jay glanced at Adam, who was nodding fervently, and then to Erin. His girl looked incredibly skeptical at the prospect of Piper braving the cold. "She'll be fine for an hour, Pops," Adam said to Jay, "Squeaks will be with her cool Uncle Adam, right outside."
"I want you to come inside the second you get too cold," Jay determined, leaning down to kiss the top of Piper's head, "Snow pants and your big coat, okay kiddo?" He gave a reassuring smile to Erin when Piper scurried to find her winter coat. "She'll be alright for a little, babe."
Jay glanced out the window when he heard another happy giggle from outside. Jealous was an understatement. Atwater and Ruzek had shoveled the driveway under Piper's supervision and were now playing with the little girl in the snow.
He honestly couldn't believe it. One, that he wasn't the one playing with his daughter outside and two, that Piper trusted his co-workers enough to be without either of her parents. His little bug was usually fairly nervous when he needed to leave her at the district to respond to a call in the field. This time, his child was giggling hysterically as Kevin pelted Adam with snowballs.
"She okay?" Erin called from her spot on the couch, "It's been almost an hour, babe. How cold is it out there?"
"It's cold, but she's having a great time," he said, managing a smile when his little girl laughed again, "Kev and Ruz are making her laugh."
"You're still her best friend," she reminded him, holding out a hand to her partner, "Can you help me up, please? Your son is pressing on my bladder."
Jay hurried over and carefully pulled Erin to her feet. "Any contractions?" he asked, bringing both of his hands to her belly, "Or pain?"
She shook her head. "Just need to pee," she murmured, exhaling heavily, "All I want for Christmas is not having to pee every half hour. But I don't think Santa delivers that."
"Afraid not. But he does have a whole stack of presents in the back of our closet for our little bug." Jay wiggled his eyebrows. "I think she's going to love the kid microscope."
"I wish she believed in Santa," Erin said, resting her hand on her bump, "Annie was telling me about how she used to go all out for Travis since her mom didn't do anything when she was growing up." She sighed. "But our little bug never got a chance to believe in that."
Jay nodded sadly. Last year, hearing that Piper didn't believe in Santa nearly ripped his heart out. His mom did her best to make the holidays magical for him and Will, and Jay believed as long as he could. "Did you ever believe?" he asked softly, "In Santa?"
Erin snorted. "Bunny's in prison. Closest thing I ever got to Santa was her dealer tossing me a happy meal when he dropped off her junk on Christmas morning." She grimaced when she saw Jay's eyes sadden. "Sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," he said, clearing his throat, "That's what Christmas was for you." He kissed the top of her head gently. "I'm hoping we can make you some better Christmas memories."
She leaned into his embrace gratefully. "Last year was amazing," she mused, "And I had some good Christmases with Hank and Camille." Erin swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't know if it's the holidays or hormones or Bunny in prison but…I just really miss Camille."
Jay gave another nod of understanding. "Holidays can be hard. I um, I remember the first after my mom. Well, actually, I don't." He cleared his throat again. "I don't think I remember any of Christmases after I got back except for last year."
"New memories," Erin breathed into his chest, "For all of us."
Jay cradled Piper in his lap, his little bug wrapped in a blanket and her warmest socks after a few hours outside. After he finally convinced her to come inside for some hot chocolate, Jay was fairly convinced that his child was going to fall asleep at the kitchen table.
One warm shower later and Piper was fast asleep in his arms on Christmas Eve, snuggled against his chest while a fire crackled in the fireplace, clad in her new Christmas pajamas. "She is the most perfect little human," Erin whispered, resting her cheek against Jay's shoulder so she could marvel at just how incredible her baby girl was. "Those eyelashes. And her sweet little ears." Erin swallowed. "She's an angel."
He hummed in agreement, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his sleeping baby's head. "Today was a good one," he murmured, "I think…I think yesterday's decision helped. The permanency. It's like she was after we adopted her."
"I just want things to be steady for her," Erin breathed, stroking Piper's cheek softly while she continued to snooze against Jay's chest. "I want her to get to be a kid, like she was today. I want her to feel safe and loved. And know that she's ours." She put one hand on her belly. "The last few months with these two…so much of everything has revolved around me and them. And she has been so, so good. Despite everything, even the worst parts…she handled it better than she had to."
"You're worried?" Jay asked, wrapping his arm around Erin's shoulders to bring her closer. "About the boys?"
"I know they're going to be a lot," she said thickly, "And we've talked about that. But I want to make sure that…that nothing slips through the cracks with her. I forgot about her class holiday party yesterday. Hailey picked up some muffins or something because she remembered, so Noodle had something to bring…but she almost didn't. I know there's a lot going on with us and our family but I don't want her to feel like her stuff is the stuff that gets forgotten." Erin looked up at Jay, her eyes knowing.
"Is this…is this about what I said in therapy last week?" Jay ran his thumb across her cheek, "With me and Will growing up?"
Erin nodded. "You talked about feeling lost," Erin rasped, "And how a lot of your dad's attention was on Will, for whatever he was doing in school or sports or whatever. And you and Noodle are so similar, babe. You're always willing to give up things for others. I don't want her to feel like she's secondary." She reached up to stroke his hair back. "And I don't want you to feel like that either."
"Babe-"
"I'm serious," she interrupted, "Even when we have three kids and jobs and everything, this is still important. You and me. I love our kids. But I want you to know that you still have me too. Because I know I have you."
Jay leaned forward to kiss her lips. "This is very important," he said, resting his forehead against hers, "And I love you. You have me, and I have you. That's not changing."
I think I finally named the boys and I can't wait for you to meet them!