On the Thursday after New Year's, Blaine was watching TV in the living room when the doorbell rang. His dad was back at work in Columbus, his mom was working from her home office in the basement, and Cooper was out with some high school friends in a pre-reunion celebration.
"Honey, can you get that?" his mom called from the basement.
He was already up and walking towards the front door. When he opened it, there was a uniformed officer on the other side. His pulse immediately picked up, even though he had no idea why.
"Hi, I'm Deputy Wilson from the Franklin County Sheriff's Office. I'm looking for Pam, James, and Blaine Anderson?"
"I'm Blaine," he said. "Wh-why are you here?"
"I was asked to deliver a summons, on behalf of the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania, for the Trial of The People of The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania versus Marilyn Walker."
By this point, Pam had come up from her office and was standing behind Blaine. He started when he felt her hand on his shoulder, but didn't back away. She held out a hand to accept the summonses.
"Thank you, Deputy," she said quietly. "Have a nice day."
"You too, ma'am."
Pam guided Blaine back to the living room and sat him on the couch, turning the TV off in the process.
"Are you okay, honey?"
He shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, we knew there was going to be a trial eventually, right?"
She nodded. "That doesn't mean that you can't be upset, though. What's on your mind?"
"Do I have to go? Don't they usually let kids testify remotely?"
"Your dad and I spoke to a lawyer about this a while ago. He thinks that since you're seventeen, you're old enough to testify. He said that you are the most important part of this trial. But if you're not comfortable, we will see what we can do."
He nodded. "I just... I love you guys. You know that, right?"
"But you still love her a little bit too?" Pam guessed.
He nodded. "I know what she did was wrong, but for most of the time I was with her, she was all I had. And I was happy. I'm finally feeling good about everything in my life and I don't want her to mess it all up again. Plus, I don't know if I want her to be punished forever."
"She only has power over you if you let her. And, honey, you're allowed to have complicated feelings. Think about this a bit, talk it over with me and your dad and Matt, and we'll all talk with the lawyers soon. Okay?"
He nodded. "Okay. I can handle that."
That evening, he closed himself in his room and spent hours googling and reading up on legal processes. It gave a bit of clarification on what he might expect, and also helped convince him that he had no desire to pursue a career in law. He went to bed that night with legal jargon swimming before his eyes, before falling into an uneasy, shallow sleep that was thankfully devoid of nightmares.
The next day at school, Blaine went straight to Mr. Hoffman's classroom rather than meeting his friends in the hall. Even though he wasn't taking technology classes anymore, since joining the Warblers, Mr. Hoffman had become more of a mentor to him. On the occasional bad day, he would spend breaks and lunch in the teacher's classroom, knowing that it was a place of no judgement. Hoff would support him if he asked for it, but wouldn't push him past his comfort zone without prompting.
Today, though, he wanted his teacher's input. Hoff had proven on multiple occasions that he wasn't just a good listener, but he also gave good advice.
"So my parents and I got court summons yesterday," Blaine began, unprompted. "For the trial against my-against Marilyn. I guess she pled not guilty initially."
"Wow," Hoff said, "that's big."
"Yeah." Blaine nodded, and inhaled deeply through his nose. "I just… I don't want to go. I don't want to have to see her and relive all that, but apparently my parents already talked with a lawyer who said I'm old enough that they want me to testify."
"Uh-huh."
"I haven't seen her - not even pictures - since the day I visited her in jail in Sacramento. I'm… I don't know how to even think about her anymore."
"Do you want to do this? Granted, I have no idea if you even get a choice in this since you got an official summons and all, but in a perfect world, would you testify? Would she be punished for what she did?"
"I don't know. I mean, what she did was horrible. My parents and brother went through so much while I was gone, and it was bad for me at first. But growing up, I was happy. She loved me."
"I think you need to talk with your lawyers about your options. But all you can do is tell the truth. From there, the judge will decide what happens. No one will be mad at you for telling the truth."
He knew no one would be mad, but he wasn't sure if he could spare anyone from the inevitable hurt.
His friends at school all knew something was up, and not just because he'd mentioned that he was going to be out for a while in the beginning of February and none of the teachers seemed to mind.
Kurt had become a solace for him because Kurt didn't know anything. They only texted, so Kurt couldn't see his face or hear his tone. Kurt couldn't read any deeper into his words. Last year, around this same time, Sebastian had been a distraction, but Kurt was… Kurt was an obsession. Kurt made him feel whole and special for no reason other than just being him. His past wasn't a concern. And that was what he needed.
He wondered if he'd be able to convince his parents to go up to New York for a day while they were in Philly. He could say it was because he wanted to tour some of the colleges he'd applied to, and really he could meet up with Kurt. Kurt could erase everything about the trial from his mind.
Luckily, despite thinking more and more about his past, he'd finally found a way to keep the nightmares at bay. Over the summer, while working at Six Flags, he'd never dreamed – not about his past or normal dreams. In the week leading up to Sectionals, he'd noticed the same. When he told Matt, the therapist had suggested that it was because he was tiring himself out too much.
So Blaine put that theory to the test. Whenever he became stressed out about something, which felt like all the time with the trial looming, he went to Dalton's gym and worked out. One of the PE teachers had noticed, and began teaching him proper weightlifting and boxing techniques and even worked with him on the heavy bag. It was a great stress reliever, and it exhausted him so much that he rarely had nightmares anymore.
As the trial date approached, his name and face started popping up in headlines again. Classmates who had gotten used to him started giving him those same strange looks that had been so commonplace when he first started at Dalton, and again when the school paper printed the article.
He'd met with the lawyers, and they all said that he had to testify in person. They all told him how important he was, and made him answer questions about the years he'd spent with Marilyn until he was blue in the face. Until they knew the details of his life better than he did.
Kurt was his port in the storm because Kurt either didn't read those sorts of stories or didn't look close enough and assumed that it couldn't be about someone he knew. Instead, he and Kurt talked about anything and everything else: show choir, college admissions, school assignments, Vogue, RuPaul's Drag Race, family and siblings, and nothing much at all.
He was falling head over heels for Kurt.
His mom took him suit shopping the weekend before they were due to go to Philadelphia.
For the first time in over a year, he was reminded of the time when he was first reunited with his family. Of the shopping trips when his mom had attempted to replace everything that Marilyn had ever touched. Except this time, she was trying to get him armor, something new and untouched with memory, that he could wear to protect himself and then discard to never be seen again.
They stood in the store and he tried on jacket after jacket, trying to decide which new skin felt the most comfortable, the most comforting. Which new skin he could blend into best. Which would protect him most.
He eventually settled on a dark charcoal gray suit that his mom said made him look older. He thought it made him look like a different person, maybe a braver person. She mentioned that he could use it for graduation and his cousin's upcoming wedding, but they both knew that after the trial it would end up collecting dust or donated to Goodwill.
They got lunch at Chipotle, and Blaine found himself listlessly picking at his burrito and staring off into the distance while his mother talked about their plans. He figured that she was trying to exert as much control over an impossible situation, or so Matt had suggested to him when he brought it up.
"We're staying at the DoubleTree just a few blocks away from the courthouse, so we can just walk and get fresh air before being shut inside all day," Pam was saying. Something about it caught his attention.
Going out for a walk, getting fresh air…
"Could we go to the park? And the old house?"
Pam stopped cold. "Hmm?" she said, and Blaine could tell that she'd heard him but was too shocked to say anything else.
"I don't know, I guess, since I've been remembering stuff, maybe it would help if I could see where we used to live? Where it happened?" He phrased it as a question, but as the words left his mouth, he knew them to be the truth. Sure, he would talk it over with Matt as well, but he knew that even if it caused more nightmares now, seeing all that would be good for him.
"Blaine, honey, nothing about this is going to be easy. I don't want to add something else on top of everything that you, your dad, and I are going to have to deal with."
He understood. Memories in Philly were much more sour and more in focus for his parents than for him. The prospect of returning to the places where their lives were forever turned upside down had to be daunting. Meanwhile, for him, it was merely a way to jog his memory. Rip off multiple band-aids at once rather than one at a time over many years.
"I get it if it hurts you and dad to go. We don't have to. I just wanted to ask. There's just so much about me that I don't know for myself, and I thought this might help. Maybe we could talk about it more."
"I guess we've never really talked with you much about when it happened?" Pam said quietly.
He shook his head. "I get that it's painful and all, but since I'm back, and we're going to be there… I thought it would be good."
"I think so too."
He looked up at her in surprise. She had that old haunted look in her eyes, but she was smiling at him.
"It's part of your past, and you deserve to know what happened. I think we can make this work."
They flew into Philadelphia the day before the trial was set to begin. The lawyers had explained that they likely wouldn't be called to testify until at least day two or three, but all three Andersons wanted to be there.
They had all been a bundle of nerves, to the point that the flight attendant assumed they were nervous fliers and offered Pam and James free drinks to calm them (and the other passengers) down. Pam demurred, but James took her up on the drink and was able to fall asleep once they were in the air.
Blaine couldn't help but feel like he'd never be able to fly comfortably. It wasn't anyone's fault, not explicitly, but the only times he'd ever been on a plane had been intensely emotional and confusing.
He settled back in his seat and tried to distract himself in watching the clouds and listening to his music. But even that couldn't calm him down. He was consumed with thoughts about the upcoming days. Talking about his childhood in front of strangers, seeing Marilyn again, visiting the park…
When he got off the plane and turned his phone back on, there was a message waiting for him from Kurt.
Kurt: So I think I just started a band?
Blaine: Um. Usually that's not something done accidentally.
Kurt: Well, I was bummed about not getting accepted into any of the showcases at school and I bitched to one of my coworkers at the diner
Kurt: And next thing I knew, we held auditions
Kurt: And now I have a band
Blaine: That's awesome!
Talking to Kurt had loosened the knot in his chest. Unfortunately, he looked up at his parents in the front seat of the rental car, saw how tense they were, and the knot retightened.
Despite his mother's earlier comments about being able to go for walks in the city and enjoy fresh air, they'd locked themselves in the hotel room, and didn't seem likely to leave. They tried turning on the TV, but then a news report popped up and a reporter started talking about how the jury selection for the kidnapping trial had concluded… and they quickly lost interest.
Sleep that night came fitfully.
Blaine wasn't called in until the second day of the trial. He'd prepared with lawyers for hours beforehand and knew what sort of questions they would ask him. He was ready, not that he had much choice. And yet, his palms were sweaty. He tried wiping them off on his new slacks, but the fabric was too slick to really absorb any of the sweat.
There were no windows in the courtroom. He just wished he could lose himself in the clouds again.
He tried not to look over to where Marilyn was seated, but there was an almost magnetic force that was pulling his gaze towards her.
She didn't look so good. She'd lost weight since the last time he'd seen her, and her hair was thin, maybe even graying at the roots. She looked so lost. But when the bailiff called his name and she looked up, something changed. It was subtle, but he'd grown up with her. He could recognize that anywhere. There was just a little more life in her eyes after she saw him.
God, it sucked. He loved his parents and his brother so much, but nothing could erase the years he'd spent with her. She'd been his everything and he loved her despite knowing he shouldn't. Despite knowing it hurt his family. Despite knowing that she'd hurt him.
He was on the stand for hours, speaking himself hoarse as he rehashed every little detail of his childhood that he'd been able to remember. He couldn't help but feel like he was betraying his mother – no, Marilyn – but there was one thing that he was sure of – this was his truth. He felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of his chest once he was finally dismissed and the police escorted him back to the hotel with his family.
His parents gave their statements the next day. The lawyers said that there were still a few more witnesses, but the trial would likely wrap up by Monday or Tuesday. They spoke with his parents for a bit longer, but he didn't want to know what was going on. Regardless of the outcome, he had said his part and had finally decided to move on from his past.
Well, most of it, at least.
They piled into the rental car and drove off later in the afternoon. Blaine was glued to the window, hoping that he'd recognize something, but nothing stood out from his memories.
Until they turned a corner and slowed down, before parking in front of a modest two-story home. There was a dogwood tree out front, bare in the winter, but Blaine could imagine what the springtime blossoms looked like. The red brick of this home seemed warmer than those around it.
"This was… our house?"
"Yeah," his dad said quietly. "We had a swingset in the backyard that my brother and I built for you and Cooper to play on."
He looked down the driveway, towards the detached garage, and imagined a lush green lawn, with a small garden filled with hydrangeas and tulips.
"See that window there?" his mom said, pulling him from his imaginings, or memories, or whatever it was. She pointed at the upper right window, partially obscured by the dogwood. "That was your room. Of course, the tree was much smaller when we lived here and didn't block it. You always liked to play in the sunbeams in the afternoon."
"We joked that you were like a cat."
"Why did you guys move?" He'd asked them before, and gotten different answers. He hoped that now he would get the full story.
"After you were taken," his mother's voice still caught on that, even after he'd been back for over a year, "things got hard. There were memories of you everywhere."
"You wanted to forget me?" He hadn't meant to say it, not in that accusatory of a tone.
"Of course not," his father quickly assured. "But you know better than anyone that memories can hurt sometimes. And so can people."
"Some people thought that we... that we could have..." his mom couldn't get the words out.
"That you were responsible?" he guessed. They nodded.
"When your dad was offered the job in Columbus, it was an opportunity to escape the hurtful memories and keep all the good ones."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said meekly.
"Oh, honey, you aren't to blame for any of that."
"I know, but still. You guys are such good people. You didn't deserve people to think that about you or to make you feel like you had to run away."
"None of us deserved any of this," his dad said firmly. "But what's important is that we have you now, and we'll never lose you again."
"Except maybe when you run away for college," his mom added with a laugh. "What's this about wanting to visit schools in New York?"
He blushed a little, thinking of Kurt and his ulterior motives. "Well, I mean, they're really good schools, and I could maybe study performance or something else. There's just so many options there."
"Don't worry, I understand the allure of the big city," his mom said. "Not that you'd think that since we both ended up in State College, but there is a reason we chose to move here after graduation."
"And," his dad added, "we think that a weekend trip to New York might be the perfect thing for all of us right now. Plus, it would be a shame to let those Newsies tickets go to waste."
"Wait, what?"
Both James and Pam laughed at Blaine's expression. "I mean, if you don't want to go, we could always pass them on to someone else…"
"No! I mean, of course I want to see Newsies! When were you planning on telling me? Or were you going to just wait until we were sitting in the theatre?"
Throughout the entire drive to the city, Blaine tried to figure out how to ask his parents if he could meet up with Kurt without them. Kurt had been thrilled to hear that Blaine was coming up, even if just for the weekend, and even offered up the couch in his apartment. Blaine passed on that, but still wanted to hang out with Kurt every chance he could get.
His parents had printed out maps and directions for wandering the campuses of NYU, Columbia, Fordham, and New School. He figured he could say that his friend would give him a private tour of NYADA, but worried that they would insist on joining since it was a school tour.
Luckily, they seemed to understand that he wasn't really asking about a school tour, and agreed to meet up with him for a quick snack after the NYADA tour and before catching the show.
His feet were exhausted by the time he met Kurt outside of NYADA's main building. He waved good-bye to his parents, knowing that they were nervous about letting him just go off with some stranger in an unfamiliar city. He wondered if they were tracking his cell phone. By no means were they as overprotective as Marilyn had been, but they had reason to be nervous in a situation like this.
He didn't mind it with them, because they told him why. It made him feel safe and loved.
"I'm so glad you were able to come to New York!" Kurt said as soon as he caught sight of Blaine.
The two were a little hesitant around each other, or at least, Blaine was. He wasn't sure what the proper greeting was. Luckily, Kurt pulled him into a hug.
"So I'm definitely going to give you a tour of NYADA, but I have a feeling that you're a little school-tour'ed-out?"
"Oh my god, yes," Blaine said. "My dad was like a walking factbook. He must have memorized each school's websites before we left."
Kurt laughed. "Well then, this is going to be a fun tour. I'm only going to show you the important stuff."
Blaine followed Kurt around the building. Kurt pointed out a few classrooms, threw out a few tidbits about classes and teachers, but it was obvious that he had a destination in mind.
"Now, don't laugh," Kurt said as he stood in front of a set of doors. "But talking with you about show choir made me realize that I actually really missed it, so…"
He opened the door to a scene that looked startlingly familiar to Blaine. There was a group of about twenty college students gathered together. A few were practicing dance moves, others were looking over sheet music, and the rest were stretching and chatting.
"Kurt!"
Blaine and Kurt both turned their heads at the voice. A giant grin broke out across Kurt's face as a handsome blonde man ran up to him.
"I thought you were just running out to grab something?" the guy said before, to Blaine's horror, leaning in to kiss Kurt on the cheek. Of course the guy had to be gorgeous and have a British accent too.
"I was! This is Blaine. He's in my old high school's rival glee club and I've been giving him show choir tips. He was in the city for college tours, and I thought that showing off the Apples would be a great way to convince him to come to NYADA. Blaine, this is my boyfriend, Adam."
Blaine smiled, and noticed that Adam was looking at him a little more intently than most people do when meeting the friend of a friend. "Nice to meet you," Blaine said, holding out his hand.
"You too. Is Kurt here going to bring you with us to Callbacks tonight?"
Blaine shot a questioning look to Kurt.
"No, Blaine's seeing Newsies with his parents. I've just got him for the afternoon."
"Well, if he's not going to be treated to our performances at Callbacks, we can at least wow him during practice," Adam said. He turned around to the rest of the group, clapping his hands. "All right, Apples! Let's take it from the top of Baby Got Back!"
Blaine had to admit that he enjoyed the performance, but he was mostly focused on Adam and Kurt. They sent each other flirtatious grins and winks throughout the rest of the rehearsal. Blaine couldn't believe that he had never thought to ask if Kurt had a boyfriend. And anyway, why would Kurt be interested in him at all? He's still in high school.
When rehearsal ended, Blaine gave Kurt space to say goodbye to Adam, and then the two walked over to a coffee shop near campus.
"So what's Callbacks?" Blaine said. It wasn't what he wanted to ask about, but it seemed like the safer question.
"Oh, it's this karaoke piano bar near campus where students like to hang out. We basically take the place over every Friday and Saturday night. It's actually pretty fun."
Blaine nodded. Kurt was in college, living in his own apartment, and going to bars on the weekends. Of course he wouldn't be interested in a high schooler who needed to check in with his parents every couple of hours.
"I bet it is," he said. "I mean, if everyone at NYADA is as talented as the Apples were…"
Kurt barked out a laugh. "Sadly, we're the least talented rejects who didn't make it into any showcases. I started a band, Adam started an a cappella show choir. It's apparently how NYADA students cope."
Instead of asking about Adam, Blaine pivoted. "So tell me more about your band."
Kurt grinned, and Blaine knew he'd asked the right question. "Well, it's me and my two roommates, my coworker from the diner, and this guy that is like, total glam rock. We named ourselves 'Pamela Lansbury.'"
"What sort of music do you guys play? Or have you even had a chance to figure that out yet?"
"We'll probably do a little bit of everything. It's not like I don't have experience turning songs from a bunch of genres into ones that fit my voice, thanks to my glee club teacher's weird lesson plans in high school."
"Well, hopefully I'll be able to make it to one of your shows."
Blaine thought that Kurt really needed to stop grinning at him like that.
Kurt successfully guided Blaine back to Times Square in time to meet his parents before the show. Blaine figured that his parents couldn't quite read the mood – that all his romantic hopes had just been dashed – because they invited Kurt to join them for dinner and conversation until they had to head over to the theatre.
"So Blaine tells us that you're a show choir mentor?" Pam said to Kurt.
Kurt laughed a bit as he stabbed at his salad. "I don't know if I'd say that. I'm mostly sharing my nuggets of knowledge since the Warblers beat my old team at Sectionals."
"Oh, what school did you go to?"
"McKinley, over in Lima. We won Nationals last year, so I figured that I might have something useful to share."
"And Kurt's been trying to convince me to come out here for college," Blaine added.
"Ah," James said. "You're the reason Blaine is suddenly interested in the east coast."
Kurt blushed a little as he looked over at Blaine. "I merely explained to him the allure of finding yourself in such a big and diverse city."
"What are you studying at NYADA? Do you have majors at a school like that?" Pam asked. "I'm a little ashamed to admit that I haven't done all of my homework about the schools Blaine applied to."
"It's fine," Kurt said. "It's not a traditional college or university, so I understand the confusion. My dad definitely didn't understand why I didn't need to worry about taking math there. I'm specializing in musical theatre, but we study all aspects of performance there: dance, movement, voice, that sort of thing."
"Our oldest son studied film acting in college, but he went to UCLA so he still had to struggle through math and science," James added.
"You never told me your brother's an actor," Kurt said, looking accusingly at Blaine. "Would I have seen him in anything?"
"Worried big brother was going to over-shadow you?" James asked.
Blaine shook his head. "It just never came up. He's done a couple commercials - that Free Credit site mainly - and some small parts on TV."
"He did a Christmas movie, too, for Hallmark," Pam added helpfully.
"I'm going to have to look him up when I get home," Kurt said with a grin. "I'm sure that he's plenty talented, considering how good Blaine is."
Pam and James shared a small, sad look. Blaine was certain that if Kurt had seen it, it wouldn't have registered to him. Unfortunately, he knew exactly what that look meant: they were once again mourning the fact that they had missed out on each other. Blaine hadn't become interested in the arts to follow in his brother's footsteps. That had been an example of entirely independent evolution.
They continued on with their light meal, moving on to other topics eventually. Kurt seemed to fit right in with the family, and Blaine felt another surge of jealousy about Adam and shame for even thinking Kurt would be interested in him, as he found himself wishing that this could be a regular occurrence.
Eventually, Blaine's dad looked down at his watch and announced that they would have to start heading over to the theatre soon. Kurt was a perfectly polite gentleman as he said goodbye. "It was so great to meet you, and safe travels back home. Enjoy the show!"
Blaine hugged him goodbye, and promised to text once he was back home.
He was completely entranced with every moment of the musical, from the songs to the choreography, but he couldn't help but let his thoughts drift back to Kurt – and Kurt and Adam – every moment in between.
It wasn't until he woke up in the middle of the night from a forgotten nightmare that he realized that at least jealousy about Adam was keeping his mind off of Marilyn and the trial.
They wandered through Central Park and went shopping in SoHo before heading back to Philadelphia. Even though the trial was still going on, the lawyers were preparing their closing statements so Blaine didn't have to be there. So he wasn't.
He was in the hotel pool, relaxing in the hot tub with a book, when his mother got the call that the jury had returned with their verdict.
They left to return to Columbus early the next morning.