Blaine should have anticipated it. During the entire trial, there had been a rabid media presence, and after Marilyn was found guilty, it only increased. His return to school was supposed to be a return to normalcy, but instead it was once again an opportunity for his fellow students to gape and stare at him.
The school paper re-ran the interview from the previous spring, with an update about the trial, and that helped to keep strangers from asking questions. But he still felt like he had a target on his back.
And then Mrs. Santiago asked to speak with him after Warblers rehearsal one day.
They were working twice as hard, preparing for not only Regionals but also the Gala performance. Since she was the head of the Gala planning committee, it wasn't strange for her to be at rehearsal, so no one had batted an eye. Until she pulled him to the side.
How had he not prepared for her to ask him to speak again?
"Hi Blaine, I hope you've been doing well," she said. He wanted to read malice in her tone, but she was a very kind woman, even if she was also ambitious.
"I guess so," he said. He knew that she knew exactly how he had been doing.
"I'm guessing that since you're a Warbler, you'll be joining us at the Gala this year?"
He nodded. He wasn't going to make this easy for her.
"Have you given any thought to perhaps speaking at the Gala? I know that you were uncomfortable with it last year, but after everything that has happened since, perhaps you're more open to saying a few words this time."
"Look, I think the Gala is a really great thing, but I just… I don't like talking in front of people, not like that. I'd be happy to be there, and you can parade me around if you want, but please, just ...can I not tell everyone everything again? I thought that ...that after the trial, that I might have privacy again."
He hadn't meant to say quite so much to her, but it was all true. And he could see in her eyes that his plea had disarmed her. She quickly melted from "Gala organizer" into "concerned mom," a look he'd never seen on her before.
"Of course, sweetheart," she said in a soft tone. "We don't want you to be uncomfortable at all. I'm glad that you've been able to rebuild so much after everything that happened to you."
Well, at least now he knew she was human after all. He agreed to keep in contact with her and the rest of the Gala committee, and she promised that she'd ask no more of him other than to stand on the stage with his parents while she made some opening remarks.
When he went to gather his things to leave, Mr. Hoffman stopped him to make sure everything was alright. Blaine was always glad to have his teacher in his corner, but for once was feeling like this was something he could handle on his own.
Blaine started getting the letters from colleges a few weeks after the trial had concluded. He wasn't surprised to find a rejection from Columbia – he'd never seen himself as Ivy League material – but was shocked when acceptances poured in from UCLA, OSU, Oberlin, Carnegie Mellon, and NYU; plus there was an invitation to a callback at NYADA. It probably shouldn't have come as much of a surprise to him; his English teacher at Dalton had convinced him that his essay should be about his experiences dealing with the fallout of having been kidnapped. Every college wanted to put him on their 'notable alumni' page.
Narrowing down the colleges he'd applied to had been hard enough. He'd hoped that once he found out where he got in, the decision would magically be made for him. But now… UCLA was back in Cali, which used to be home. He'd always thought he'd end up out there. Plus, Cooper lived in LA whenever he wasn't off somewhere filming. OSU and Oberlin were both in Ohio, close enough to his parents. Carnegie Mellon was near his dad's family in Pittsburgh. And NYU and NYADA were in New York, with Kurt and possibility and anonymity. He had no idea how to make that choice, how to possibly disappoint someone in his life by saying he'd chosen to specifically go away from them.
Eventually, Blaine narrowed his list to just Carnegie Mellon and NYU. He loved that both schools had strong theatre departments but also allowed for him to study something else, unlike NYADA. Carnegie Mellon was still close to his parents, and he'd seen the campus while visiting family in Pittsburgh and knew that he'd feel comfortable there.
New York was scary and unknown, but he also loved the idea of just being one person in a huge city. Another anonymous face, trying to make it in the world and figure out who he was. Plus, it wasn't like his parents could never see him if he was in New York.
He didn't know how to decide between the two: between comfort and security, and adventure and the unknown.
Regionals weekend loomed ahead. There was only one week between the competition and the Gala, and the Warblers were feeling the pressure of two big performances in their future.
Blaine had been given another competition solo and was staying extra late with the other soloists and the Warblers council to practice. He also texted with Kurt daily, and Kurt was happy to fall back into the role of show-choir mentor. The Warblers hadn't made it this far in recent memory, so Kurt really was the only person he knew who could relate to Regionals nerves.
But the competition came and went, and Blaine realized that he had worried for nothing. It had certainly been a higher-pressure event than Sectionals had been, but after testifying in court, performing in front of a panel of show choir judges wasn't nearly as terrifying.
He found himself joking backstage with his friends rather than pacing nervously in the wings. He wasn't the only one who noticed the difference, apparently.
"Confidence looks hot on you, B," Sebastian said, waggling his eyebrows.
Blaine shoved his friend off, but appreciated the comment all the same. Confidence felt good.
When they were declared the winners and told they'd moved on to Nationals in LA, Blaine found himself growing excited for the next set of performances and the next adventure. He started thinking that maybe, just maybe, Kurt was right. He needed to take a leap of faith and do something daring next year, rather than pick a safe college near his family.
He needed to forge his own path, for the first time in his life.
That night, Blaine filled out the intent to enroll form for NYU.
Performing with the Warblers, even at the fundraiser, was easy. He was just one face out of many in a group of near-identical boys. He didn't have a solo or stand out in any way during the performance, and he'd been happy to step back and let Sebastian and Nick shine.
Following their set, they were allowed to mingle among the guests. There were a few more performances, and then the school's elite jazz combo would take over and would play background music through most of the rest of the night.
Blaine followed his friends to the buffet tables and helped himself to a heaping plate of food. They had all been to the gala before and weren't interested in gaping at the sights, which Blaine appreciated.
His parents had waved to him from across the hall, but they were deep in conversation with seemingly everyone there. There was practically a line of people waiting to get a moment of their time. Luckily, Blaine was not expected to participate in his parents' show, and it seemed like Mrs. Santiago had made good on her promise to keep him shrouded as no one was approaching him.
Once the opening performances were over, Blaine bade his friends a brief goodbye and joined his parents. He'd agreed to join them onstage with Mrs. Santiago for the welcome to the gala and as she introduced the keynote speaker. Other than that, he was allowed to fly under the radar for the rest of the evening.
"Thank you everyone for coming out tonight for our 11th annual Hope for Missing Children Gala!" Mrs. Santiago said. "And let's give another hand for the students of Dalton Academy and Crawford Country Day School for those amazing performances."
There was a round of polite applause. Blaine could feel the concentrated stares of the audience upon him.
Blaine's parents stepped forward and took over for her. "This gala was established ten years ago to support not just our family, but all other families who have been impacted by the unimaginable tragedy of an abducted child," Pam said. Anyone who didn't know her wouldn't be able to tell that it was a rehearsed statement. Blaine was impressed at how natural his mom sounded, and thought that maybe that was where he and Cooper got their performance chops from.
"The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children works with individuals, families, and the public to prevent abductions and reunite families who are affected by tragedy," James said, taking over for Pam. He sounded much more rehearsed and rote. "Tonight, we are joined by Bill Roche, director of outreach and operations."
The other man standing to the right of the podium stepped forward. Blaine took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. Bill and Mrs. Santiago had run this by him before the gala started.
"Thank you Pam and James. It is great to be here tonight. Blaine, it is so wonderful to see you back with your family."
All heads turned back in Blaine's direction. He smiled awkwardly, and wished he could bury himself under the building's foundation. Bill launched into his speech and eventually drew back the attention of the crowd. His speech seemed mostly cookie-cutter, with statistics about missing persons and the work NCMEC had done in the last year to help with reunifications. Blaine found that he zoned out through most of the speech and only came back at the end when his parents pushed him forward and they all shook Bill's hand.
Blaine breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally able to depart the stage and return to his friends.
Towards the end of the night, Bill approached Blaine while he was joking around with his friends. He launched a spare olive towards Jeff's open mouth and missed by an inch, instead hitting Jeff square in the eye. As soon as the crowd of boys noticed that the adult had approached them, they jumped to attention and tried to present themselves as well-behaved young men.
"Relax," Bill said to the tense group. "I hate olives. Weaponizing them is really the only good use for them."
Jeff laughed as he cleaned olive juice from his eye.
"Blaine, could I borrow you for a minute?"
Bill had a calm air around him, and none of the desperation that Mrs. Santiago had any time she approached him, so Blaine agreed and followed Bill to a quiet area on the side of the hall.
"I just wanted to introduce myself and say again how wonderful it is to meet you."
"Thanks," Blaine said, unsure what the proper response was in this situation.
"I was talking with your parents and they mentioned that you're going to NYU in the fall?"
Blaine nodded.
"What are you planning to study?"
"I was accepted into the interdisciplinary studies program because I couldn't really decide. I'm hoping that my gen eds will help me figure it out."
"Well, it sounds like you've got a lot of options. Your parents were telling me that you were considering theatre like your brother?"
Blaine was a little surprised that Bill seemed to know so much about his family, but figured that it was probably the guy's job to seem like he knew all the people he was rubbing elbows with.
"I'm not really sure. There's a lot of stuff that I'm interested in, and I'm not sure I want to be on stages in front of people."
"Totally understandable. When I first started, I was terrible at public speaking. I'd have to hype myself up in the bathroom for half an hour before any event."
There was a silence that wasn't exactly awkward, but Blaine could feel the anticipation. He knew that whatever came next, it was probably what Bill had come over to talk to him about.
"I wanted to talk with you about a couple of opportunities. At NCMEC, we like to work with young people like yourself to help with our outreach efforts. We want to be able to stay relevant and make sure that we can reach the most vulnerable populations. We'd love to have you join our team as a youth ambassador. But, since I know you're a little uncomfortable with public speaking… we also have an office in Albany and occasionally do events in New York City. Maybe instead of such a public role, you'd be interested in interning with us behind the scenes to help with those events and outreach? We're currently developing a youth outreach advisory committee, which involves no public appearances unless you want it to. I think you'd be a great fit."
Blaine considered for a minute. Bill seemed like a genuine guy, and he was specifically asking Blaine to join in an advisory role, not to turn him into the public face of missing and returned children. Plus, an internship would look good on his resume.
"I don't know how busy I'll be with classes and everything," he said. "But I think it would be good to help other kids."
Bill smiled and pulled a business card from his pocket. "Here's my email. Just let me know how much time you think you could offer to help us and I'll make it work. I think you'll find that we're a pretty easy group to work with, and we could really benefit from your help."
When Blaine went back to the table where his friends were seated, they asked him what Bill had wanted.
"I think he just offered me an internship for next year," Blaine said. "Honestly, this might be the only decent perk of being a missing kid."
Jeff threw an olive at Blaine's head. It bounced off of his temple and fell down to his lap.
"Hey, what was that for?"
"Either payback for earlier or for showing us all up and already having a college internship. Take your pick."
Kurt finished his first semester at NYADA in mid-May, and texted Blaine to let him know that he would be coming back home for the summer and subletting his space in the loft to a classmate's friend who had a summer internship in the city.
After having known Kurt as long as he had, Blaine was shocked to hear that Kurt was leaving his things and, most importantly, his clothes that had won him a job at , in the hands of a stranger. But then Kurt told Blaine a little bit more about his roommate Santana and her acid tongue, and he figured that Kurt's things were likely safer with her around than they would be in a locked vault.
Plus, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth – an entire summer to spend with Kurt, before he had to divide his time with school, too.
Kurt had been thrilled when Blaine told him that he'd finally made a decision and chosen to enroll at NYU. Blaine didn't want to let hope grow like he had before, but Kurt hadn't really mentioned Adam lately, so maybe Kurt's excitement about Blaine joining him in New York was about more than just friendship. Or so he hoped.
He and Kurt met up at the Lima Bean one afternoon towards the end of May. It was a rare day where Blaine had no Warblers rehearsal or related business, considering their furious preparation for Nationals. In Kurt's first week back, they hadn't managed to see each other at all, and since he would be leaving for the competition in LA in just two days, he was eager to see his friend before more time passed.
When Kurt entered the Lima Bean, Blaine had two iced coffees and an overflowing plate of treats sitting in front of him. After their first meeting, Kurt had continued to tease him about the excessive amount of food, and it had become an inside joke. Blaine could tell that Kurt got it from the sparkle in his eye.
"How have you been?" Kurt asked. "It feels like forever since February."
Blaine nodded, and fought back a yawn, much to Kurt's amusement. "Tired. Our coach is working us to the bone for Nationals."
"Have you been keeping tabs on the other schools you'll be competing against? What are your chances?"
Sometimes Blaine forgot that Kurt's rabid show choir enthusiasm was what had brought them together. "No clue," Blaine said. "Honestly, I really don't think we have a chance of making it even to the top ten. I'm mostly excited about getting back to Cali and hanging out with my brother."
"Ooh, I forgot your brother lives out there! That'll be so fun to get to see him."
Blaine nodded. Cooper called all the time, but he still missed his big brother. That relationship had been the easiest thing to adjust to when everything had changed, and he absolutely loved getting to say he had a big brother. There was something that made him feel safe and special when he said that and thought about Cooper.
"So what are your plans for a summer in Ohio?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Sadly, just a bunch of work. Rent in New York is not cheap, even when it's split four ways."
"I still can't believe you chose to come back here instead of just living it up in the city."
"Well, I did miss my dad. And, I'll kill you if you tell anyone, but sometimes I miss Lima."
Blaine gasped in mock horror, but laughed. "I totally get what you mean. I still miss - where I used to live," he said, quickly realizing that he was about to say Sacramento, and then he'd have a whole bunch of explanations. He loved that Kurt was his friend who knew him as Blaine, no baggage attached. He wanted to keep it that way.
Luckily, Kurt either didn't notice or didn't care to question Blaine about that.
"Anyway," Blaine said, still trying to cover for his almost-slip, "what about Adam? Won't you miss him over the summer? Or is he in, like, England or something?"
Kurt nearly choked on his coffee. "God, Adam," he muttered. "I can't believe it never came up in any of our conversations! We broke up, like, a month or two ago."
Blaine couldn't help but smile a little at that. So he had read correctly into the disappearances of Adam's name. Still, he wanted to be a supportive friend. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Kurt said. "He was a jealous idiot. I mean, Elliott and I are clearly so romantically incompatible and just friends, but Adam still threw a fit every time I had band practice or even talked about it. Like, could he be any more selfish? He even started scheduling extra Apples rehearsals just to keep me around, so I quit."
"Wait, hold on. I'm going to need a minute for all of that," Blaine said. "So Elliott's your bandmate, right? The glam rock guy?" Kurt nodded. "Okay. And Adam was jealous of you two… so you quit the Apples?"
"Yep. They were bringing down my social capital at school, anyway, so it's all for the best. Plus, now that I've had an actual boyfriend, I'm feeling much more confident in being single."
"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," Blaine said, feeling his heart plummet. So Kurt wasn't interested in getting a new boyfriend anytime soon, apparently.
They talked for a while longer, until even the ice cubes from their coffees had melted and been slurped up, and finally made plans to meet up again once Blaine was back from LA. He left the Lima Bean in a reverie, trying to figure out if Kurt had been serious about owning his single-ness. As Blaine got in his car, he made a decision and called up the only person he could think of that could help him in this situation.
"Hey, Sebastian… how do I get a guy to go out with me?"
Since Mr. Hoffman and Cooper were such close friends, Cooper had been roped into being the school's unofficial-official LA tour guide and had been volunteered as an additional chaperone. Cooper had pretended to moan about it, but Blaine knew that his brother was actually really excited about the whole thing.
Cooper met the Warblers at the airport and took the hotel shuttle with them. He barely gave the boys a minute to drop their luggage in their rooms before he was running down the hall and knocking on every Warbler-occupied room's door, shouting, "Time's a-wasting, Warblers! Get your asses out here to soak up some sun!"
Jeff, Sebastian, Nick, and Trent all stared at Blaine in shock.
" This is your brother?" Nick deadpanned. "I always thought he was this cool, famous guy but he's actually..."
"...Really obnoxious?" Blaine cut in with a laugh. "It'll wear off soon. He just gets excitable."
Cooper took the team on a tour of the city that he had specifically curated, picking the sights that he knew a bunch of teenage boys would enjoy. Sebastian was glued to Blaine's side, alternately giving him tips about wooing his crush and pestering Blaine to find out who the mystery man was. Blaine wanted to shut his friend up, but was also desperate for Sebastian's advice.
After a busy day of sight-seeing, studio tours, and a visit to the Santa Monica Pier, they returned to the hotel. Mr. Hoffman had booked one of the conference rooms as a rehearsal space, so even though the boys were exhausted from their busy day, they jumped right into their set and practiced until they were all ready to pass out.
Nationals was a three day affair, with initial performances taking place over Friday and Saturday, and finals and the awards ceremony on Sunday. The Warblers were set to perform on Saturday, but still went to the venue to check out some of the competition on Friday.
Blaine was slightly intimidated by the other groups, but had also already come to terms with the fact that the Warblers probably weren't even going to make it to Sunday's performances. Instead, he was most excited to see Sydney.
Even though Sacramento High didn't even have a show choir and certainly wasn't competing this weekend, Sydney had convinced her parents to let her miss school on Friday so that she could head down to LA and see Blaine.
He spotted her curly head of hair seconds before she launched herself into his arms.
"Kiddo, it's been far too long!" she said. "You look so good! How are you? Where are all your yummy teammates?"
"Maybe if you gave me a chance to speak or even breathe you wouldn't have to have conversations entirely with yourself," he joked back.
She slapped him lightly on the shoulder.
"Anyway, you look amazing as well! When did you get your nose pierced?"
"On my birthday. Literally the second I was 18, Mallory and I went to the tattoo shop – you know the one by the flower shop downtown? – and I got it done."
"And how did your parents react?"
"Honestly, way better than I expected. Like I think if I'd asked, mom probably would have gone along with me."
"Well after all this time, I think your parents are pretty used to the fact that you are a force of nature."
"It's how they raised me."
They pushed through the dense crowds in the convention center and exited into the slightly-less-packed outdoors. In typical California fashion, the sun was shining brightly and everything seemed to sparkle a bit.
"So, am I going to get to finally officially meet all these boys?" Sydney waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Maybe even the Sebastian that you talk about?"
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Sebastian is just a friend, Syd. We tried it and realized we're better off like this. Plus, there might be another guy." He rushed the last sentence, hoping to rip the bandaid off and maybe Syd would just brush past the news.
"Whoa, what now?" She stopped in her tracks, nearly tripping Blaine, whose arm was still linked to hers.
"He's older and he goes to school in New York and he recently broke up with his boyfriend," Blaine admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up.
"So that's why you refused to join me in Austin. Because you're chasing a boy. Typical," she joked.
"Oh come on, I'd never last a second in Texas."
"True. You're not really the type to pull off the whole cowboy aesthetic. Me, on the other hand… I look amazing in a cowboy hat, I'll have you know."
"I don't doubt it. Anyway, the guys are over here with Hoff and Coop. I'm sure Coop'll be happy to see you again."
The Warblers had claimed an outdoor table near the convention center. Blaine saw that a few of his classmates, Sebastian included, were speaking with some kids he didn't recognize, probably from some other show choir. He snorted when he recognized that Sebastian was flirting with the boy closest to him.
Blaine took a seat next to Trent and across from Cooper, who was embracing Sydney tightly. He was pretty sure that Cooper and Sydney had kept in contact behind his back over the last two years. It warmed him to know that they got along so well.
Sydney fit in with the Warblers as if she'd always been around. In a way, through all the stories she'd heard from Blaine, she had been.
When Sebastian, Jeff, and the others finally said goodbye to their new friends and rejoined the Warblers at their table, Sydney gave him a long appraising look. Uncharacteristically, she sat back quietly and observed as Jeff filled the group in. Apparently the kids they'd been talking to were from Throat Explosion, who were the favorites to win nationals this year. Jeff, who practically lived on the show choir blogs, had been a little star-struck to meet them, especially their lead, Jean Baptiste.
Sebastian, on the other hand, had been less star-struck and more horny.
"I mean, B's definitely got the better ass but damn , Jean Baptiste…"
"Thanks, Seb," Blaine said dryly. He couldn't help but notice that Sydney was not smiling at his friend.
As they packed up to head back to the hotel that evening, Sydney pulled him to the side.
"What the hell is up with this Sebastian guy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he's kind of an asshole."
"No, well, I mean, yeah, I guess he is. But not really, Syd. He's actually a pretty nice guy."
"Really? Because he was talking about you like you were a piece of meat."
"No, that's just… it's not like that ," he said. He didn't know how to explain his relationship with Sebastian to Sydney. Because, honestly, looking at it objectively, she was right about a lot of it.
"I'm getting some serious smarmy asshole Brian vibes off of the guy. How do you know he's not just trying to ride your coattails or something?"
"Well, first off, because he's had plenty of chances to and hasn't. But also, he's a good friend once you break through his walls. And believe me, I know all about trust issues and walls."
"I just care about you a lot, Kid. I miss you and I hate that your- you know, that everything happened and stuff."
It was strange for Sydney to have so much trouble with words. Usually she was pure confidence.
"You know I love you, right?" she said.
"Of course. I love you, too, Syd. And I love that you look out for me, but I can handle myself."
Saturday and Sunday at Nationals went about as Blaine had anticipated. Despite the Warblers putting their best feet forward, they just couldn't compare to some of the other teams. They didn't break to the final round of performances and instead watched in awe from their seats in the audience. The top ten teams were really good.
Everyone seemed to have found something good at Nationals, though, and no one seemed disappointed in their loss. Sebastian's flirtations paid off for him, and he'd kicked his roommates out of their hotel room for a few hours during the Saturday night results party. Sydney and Nick had bonded over attending college in Texas, and Jeff and Blaine had been too nice to tell them just how far Rice was from Austin. Blaine was secretly thrilled when he saw Sydney put her number in Nick's phone and kiss his cheek before they all parted at the airport on Sunday. Jeff, whose show business dreams had only grown larger during the trip to LA, was thrilled to be thinking about coming back in just a few months when he'd be a student at UCLA. Blaine was certain that Cooper was about to regret exchanging info with Jeff. Trent and the junior Warblers had been in a fury of planning for next year, talking about how they could improve so that they could break to the top ten.
Blaine settled into his seat at the airport gate and watched his friends. They were a flurry of activity, excited about the future. And he felt, for the first time in as long as he could remember, that his future could be whatever he wanted it to be and his past wouldn't have to be a roadblock.
There was only a little more than a week between the Warblers' triumphant return from LA and graduation day for Dalton's senior class. Classes were essentially over, even if some teachers were still trying to teach. The Warblers held one last rehearsal, to elect the council for the next school year and present awards to the graduating seniors.
Most were inside jokes among the group, but some, like Nick's superstar award, were long-standing Warbler traditions. Somehow, Blaine and Sebastian had been awarded "cutest couple that never was" owing to Blaine's positive influence on the taller boy. Blaine found himself groaning playfully as he and Sebastian were forced to pose for a series of prom pictures with their paper plate awards in hand. Secretly, he was thrilled. He had never felt like such a part of a team before, even back before he knew that Marilyn wasn't actually his mom.
Despite his rocky start around the group, Blaine felt fully comfortable and giddy joking around with his friends.
Graduation day dawned with a clear blue sky, which was lucky as Dalton always held the ceremony outdoors in their impressive grounds. Blaine's entire extended family had been invited to town for his party that evening, but only his parents, Cooper, and the grandparents were going to be attending the ceremony.
Unfortunately, Syd still had a week left of school back in Sacramento and hadn't been able to come. Even more disappointingly, since he'd just gone out to LA for Nationals, he wasn't able to go back to Sacramento to see Syd and his old friends graduate either.
Despite that dark spot, it was still going to be a good day. Most of his friends also had graduation parties that evening, but Sebastian was free to come to his, as was Kurt. He was a little nervous that the two boys might meet, but he was more excited about seeing Kurt again.
Like he'd predicted months ago, the charcoal gray suit that had been purchased for the trial sat untouched in the back corner of his closet. Blaine instead selected an outfit he'd prepared (with Kurt's input, of course) especially for this day. He wore a light pink collared shirt with a blue and yellow striped bow tie and blue suspenders. He'd worried that he looked a bit clown-like, but Kurt had been with him at the mall when he bought it and his face lit up when he saw Blaine in the outfit. After that, Blaine had no choice but to buy it.
His dad was waiting for him in the kitchen, while his mom and Cooper were still upstairs getting ready. Blaine saw a wrapped box sitting on the counter and asked, "Who is mom dumping that on this time?"
At Easter, Uncle Vince had passed Jar Jar on to his mom, and it had been sitting in their living room until last night when they wrapped it up to pass on at Blaine's graduation party.
"I think she decided that it would go to Trish," his dad said, referring to Blaine's 8-year-old cousin.
"I'm sure she'll really love it and will not have any nightmares at all," Blaine deadpanned.
"None whatsoever."
Cooper strutted into the kitchen, obviously trying to attract the attention of the current occupants. He was barely containing his laughter, and Blaine quickly figured out why. Somehow, Cooper had gotten a hold of his old Dalton uniform and had squeezed into it, despite his shoulders being much broader now than they were when he was 18.
"You are going to send some stylist's kid to college once you make it big," Blaine observed dryly. "You are hopeless."
"Excuse you," Cooper said. "I am merely filled to the brim with school spirit."
"Your mother will never let you get away with that," their dad added.
"Get away with what?" Pam said, coming around the corner and putting the back on one of her earrings. She nearly ran into Cooper, looked him up and down, and sighed. "Cooper."
"Mom."
"You know what, no, there's not enough time for you to change. Let's go!"
"Wait – what?" Cooper spluttered, suddenly realizing that he would have to stick with the gag for the rest of the day.
"You're committed to it," Pam said, and Blaine could see a wicked grin beginning to spread across her face.
"Come on, it'll take me like three seconds to at least change my jacket."
"Nope, this is what you wanted."
Blaine turned to his dad, noticing that he had unconsciously copied his dad's mannerisms exactly: both were leaning against the counter, right leg crossed over the left and arms crossed. These moments still delighted and warmed him, even if they were fewer and farther between now that he was so used to being part of the family.
"Let's head out to the car," his dad said. "Or those two will keep arguing until you've graduated college, too. They're both too stubborn to give up on a joke."
The graduation ceremony was pretty standard, or at least Blaine assumed so. He'd never been to one before, but there were no pregnant valedictorians or streakers on the stage like he'd seen in movies, so he assumed that meant it was normal.
After the ceremony, boys posed for pictures with each other all over the grounds. Most of Blaine's friends talked about how they were so excited to be done with high school and were ready to move out of Ohio and go to college.
He understood their excitement, but couldn't help but feel alienated from them. Sure, he knew that he needed to move on, but high school wasn't the den of horrors that so many people talked about. He'd had great friends and good times. No, he didn't think it would ever be characterized as his "glory days," but he didn't think it was something he needed to escape either.
After politely tolerating his parents and the parents of his friends requesting a variety of photos for nearly an hour, Blaine was finally free to leave Dalton for the last time as a student. The family was planning to go to a local cafe for a light lunch before heading home to prepare for the party that evening.
His mom told him that he didn't need to help her set up, as the party was for him, but there wasn't much else to do. As the hours ticked by, he became more and more on edge. While he'd gotten used to all the various family members over the last year of family events, this was going to be one of the biggest gatherings since that first Thanksgiving home. Plus, Kurt would be here.
Kurt, who was newly single.
Kurt, who was spending the entire summer in Ohio.
Kurt, who he still hadn't figured how to ask out, despite Sebastian's best (and worst) advice.
And, oh god , Sebastian was coming to the party too.
So he was glad for the distraction from his thoughts as he helped his mom cut up fruit for the giant bowl of fruit salad she was preparing, as he wiped down plastic chairs that had been sitting in the shed for nearly a year, and as he drove to the grocery store to get an extra bag of ice just in case.
Soon, relatives started arriving at the home. Blaine quickly amassed a collection of cards and gift bags, which he graciously, if self-consciously, accepted. He noticed his mom passing the box with Jar-Jar on to his cousin when they arrived, and saw his Aunt rolling her eyes as she made the connection to the toy.
Blaine relaxed once he was off greeter duty, and joined Cooper and Mr. Hoffman on the back porch with a can of Coke. He was finally starting to relax when Sebastian walked up to him. Sebastian greeted him in his usual way, with a slap to his ass, and he winked at Cooper. To Blaine's horror, Cooper winked back.
"Don't you dare encourage him," Blaine groaned. "I only just apparently was able to exert enough influence to make him tolerable."
"Oh come on, killer. You and I both know you find me more than tolerable."
Blaine blushed in response, setting Cooper and Sebastian off. Mr. Hoffman looked torn between joining in the antics and maintaining his more formal role as the boys' teacher. He obviously chose to play an in-between role as peacekeeper, for which Blaine was grateful.
"Congrats, boys," he said. "Graduating Dalton is no easy feat."
Blaine thanked his teacher, and sat back. He had an entire summer ahead of him, and no real plans to do anything other than hang out with his friends. This could well be the best summer of his life. Especially if he could ever gather the courage to take some of Sebastian's advice and ask Kurt out.
As if his thoughts had summoned him, Kurt walked through the back door at that moment. Blaine felt his cheeks redden. Sebastian and Cooper also immediately noticed, and Sebastian looked like his birthday and Christmas had come early.
"Oooh, is this the guy?"
"What guy?" Cooper demanded.
"Shut up , both of you," Blaine hissed. He stood up to catch Kurt's attention and waved Kurt over.
"Congrats, Blaine!" Kurt said, hugging him tightly.
"Thanks," Blaine said. He was suddenly very aware of his audience. "Um, Kurt, this is my brother, Cooper, my teacher, Mr. Hoffman, and Sebastian. This is Kurt. He was in McKinley's glee club last year," Blaine said. He cut himself off before he began rambling too much.
"It is so great to meet you," Sebastian said, though he stared at Blaine while greeting Kurt.
Hoff pulled Kurt into a conversation about show choir, and Blaine relaxed, glad that Kurt seemed to fit in well. He occasionally added his two cents to the conversation, but out of the five of them in the group, he'd had the least show choir experience and had little to add.
"I'm gonna grab another Coke," he announced, standing up rather abruptly. "Does anyone else want something?"
"I'd take a Diet Coke," Kurt said.
"Burger me, bro," Cooper said, loudly slapping his belly.
Blaine rolled his eyes.
"I'll go with you, help you carry everything back," Sebastian suggested.
Blaine sighed. He should have expected this from Sebastian, but he wasn't willing to give up Sebastian's voluntary assistance, even if there was an ulterior motive attached.
"So," Sebastian said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. " Kurt , huh. Based on the totally platonic greeting and your sad puppy eyes, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you haven't taken any of my advice."
"I -" Blaine spluttered. "I just… I don't know how to even start the conversation."
"God, you're hopeless," Sebastian said not unkindly. "Seriously, with a brother like Cooper, you'd think you would have gotten at least some of his charm."
"Hey!"
"I didn't say that you're not charming, you just don't have… game."
"I honestly don't even know how to take that," Blaine said. He grabbed the requested drinks and moved on to the tables laden with food that his relatives had brought for the party. He snuck a look back at Kurt, Cooper, and Hoff, and was relieved to see that they still seemed to be having a good time, hopefully not at his expense.
"You really like him, huh?"
Blaine nodded. "He's just… different. He doesn't know all my baggage, so with him I'm not anyone special. I'm just Blaine."
"And you said he and his boyfriend broke up like three months ago?"
"Something like that."
"So why not just ask him out? You didn't have this much trouble asking me out!"
"First of all, I had plausible deniability with you. It could have just been a school project."
"We watched Titanic . That had nothing to do with school."
"And secondly," Blaine said, ignoring Sebastian and talking loudly over him, "what if he says no?"
"I saw the way he hugged you. He won't say no."
"But he said he's loving being single!"
"No one actually means that."
"But..."
"Nope. You're done with your shitty excuses. Come on."
Blaine followed behind Sebastian, food and drinks nearly forgotten.
"So Kurt," Sebastian said, once everyone was resettled. "Blaine said that you live in Lima?"
Kurt nodded.
"Are there any good places to eat there?"
"Um… I guess? There's an Italian place."
"Perfect! Do you want to go on a date with Blaine at the Italian place tomorrow night?"
Cooper nearly spat out his soda from laughing so hard, and Blaine buried his rapidly reddening face in his hands.
"Uh…"
Blaine heard Hoff pulling his brother away, despite Cooper's protests that he wanted to watch: "It's way better than anything on TV!"
"Well, my work here is done," Sebastian said. "I'm going to head over to Nick's party, B. I'm pretty sure his parents don't even bother locking their liquor cabinet anymore. See you later!"
Once they were alone, Blaine had to look up. Kurt was staring at him with an amused smile.
"Sorry about him," Blaine said.
"Yes."
"What?"
"I mean, assuming that you also want to go on a date, I'd love to go to Breadstix with you. That's 'the Italian place,' by the way."
"R-really?"
"Of course."
Blaine grinned. "It's a date. 7 PM?"
"Sounds perfect."
"It'll give me plenty of time to shout at Sebastian and then thank him for meddling."
Blaine parked at Breadstix ten minutes before he and Kurt were supposed to meet up. Since they still lived fairly far from each other, there was no point in one picking the other up before the date, even though he loved the idea of picking up his date and opening the car door for him and…
He saw Kurt's Navigator pull up and got out of his car to greet Kurt. He was suddenly overcome with nerves. He hadn't been this nervous about seeing Kurt since the first time they met up to get coffee at Christmas. Since then, their friendship had quickly become so close that he felt like he'd known Kurt forever. It was an almost foreign feeling.
But it didn't stop him from walking across the parking lot to meet Kurt at his car.
"Hi," he said, grinning when they made eye contact.
"Hey," Kurt said. "I hope you don't mind Breadstix. It's kinda the only decent restaurant in town."
"No," Blaine said, "I think it sounds great. I, uh, I looked at the menu before coming here."
"Oh, cool."
God, he hoped that the conversation would be more interesting and natural once they were sitting down.
"So what are your plans for the summer now that you've officially graduated?" Kurt asked once they were seated in their booth.
"Nothing, really," Blaine said. "Last summer I worked at Six Flags, but I really didn't want to put myself through that again. I mean, it was fun singing and dancing and stuff, but it was also super stressful and by the end of the summer, the same song medley had gotten really annoying."
Kurt nodded in understanding. "I get that. In one of my classes at NYADA last semester, we spent the entire time working on just one scene. Like, the class was about reinterpreting a single text in multiple ways so it made sense that there was just one scene. But still. God, I could go my entire life without hearing that again and it would be too soon."
Blaine giggled. Conversation finally felt normal again.
"You know, I'm really glad Sebastian was at your graduation party," Kurt said. "I mean, like, I'm glad he got us to do this. To go on a date."
Blaine blushed and looked down. "Yeah, he's actually a good guy. Really deep down. But he's also going to hold this over my head forever."
"You know how I told you that Adam and I broke up because he was a jealous idiot?" Blaine nodded. "Well, I think that maybe he did have reason to be jealous. I mean, not about Elliott, obviously, but… but about you."
"Really?" Blaine looked up in shock.
"Yeah, of course," Kurt said. "Ever since we met, I've felt something. I just didn't really think about what it was until Sebastian."
"Same. I mean, for me it was like an instant crush, but I also felt something more. Definitely more than with Sebastian."
"Wait, you dated Sebastian?"
"Barely. We went out for, like, two weeks before deciding that friendship was better. He wasn't willing to be exclusive."
"And now you two are totally cool? Like he's not jealous at all ?"
"I think if he was, he wouldn't have asked you out for me."
"That's a good point. Really, Sebastian, though?"
"Until now I didn't really have a good track record. My only other boyfriend ended up being a fame-hungry asshole. Sebastian was nice and easy to talk to. Exactly why we're still friends. He just wasn't boyfriend material and I have too many issues to be cool with a casual thing."
"Well, not that I'm planning for this to end," Kurt said, "but I hope that if we don't work out, we can stay as good of friends as you and Sebastian are. We've only known each other a little while, but you're really important to me, Blaine."
"You are, too, Kurt," Blaine said. "I feel like you know me so much better than anyone else."
Kurt grinned and picked up his water glass. "Here's to a long and happy friendship, and whatever else comes with it."
Blaine eagerly clinked his glass against Kurt's.
Their meals nearly turned cold due to the long, engrossing conversation. At one point they looked up and realized that the restaurant was nearly empty and they'd been talking for hours. Kurt paid the check, which Blaine agreed to only if he was able to leave a generous tip for their server.
They both seemed reluctant to walk back to their cars and part.
"If I ask you to meet for coffee tomorrow, would that make me seem overeager and needy?" Blaine asked.
"Not at all," Kurt said, a smile blooming on his face.
"Good. But, I should warn you that I am definitely overeager. And I also have an unhealthy caffeine dependence, so I guess I'm a little needy too."
Kurt laughed and leaned in. "Goodnight, Blaine," he whispered before closing the gap between their lips for a short but sweet kiss. "I'll see you at the Lima Bean tomorrow."
Blaine and Kurt had only been officially dating for about a week when Kurt sprang his family on Blaine.
"My dad always goes all-out for his Fourth of July barbeque. It started as just a thing that he did with the guys at the garage, and then I came along and they started inviting more families and kids, and now it's a huge event," Kurt explained. "I want you to come, and to meet my family."
Blaine felt butterflies in his stomach. Sure, when dating Brian, he'd met his parents right away, but that was because they were kids in high school who needed parents to drive them everywhere they went. His relationship with Kurt felt much more adult, since they were about to be living in another city and in college. In an adult relationship, meeting the family was a big deal.
"Sure," Blaine said, trying to be confident. Kurt had, he reasoned, already met his parents, even if it was before they got together. "When is it?"
Kurt gave him a look .
"I mean what time ! Obviously I know when the Fourth of July is." Sometimes Blaine worried that Kurt was just a little bit too similar to Syd, and wondered what it said about him that he surrounded himself with people who loved to give him shit.
"It usually starts around noon, just after the parade downtown, and ends whenever the last person leaves," Kurt said. "So feel free to come whenever you want. And bring your parents, too, if they want."
That felt even bigger than meeting the parents, but Blaine found himself agreeing anyway. He didn't have to tell them they were invited, and could tell Kurt they already had plans. One step at a time, as Matt had told him. Small steps, specifically, or he'd become too overwhelmed.
The Fourth rolled around and Blaine found himself anxiously anticipating the day. His parents did have plans with some cousins, but hadn't minded when Blaine told them he was going to Kurt's. He thought he saw something sad in their eyes, but figured that they were just getting ready for him to go off to college. Plus, they had been genuinely happy for him when he and Kurt had gone on their first official date. They just weren't ready to be empty-nesters, again.
Blaine was more meticulous than normal in selecting his clothes, knowing that he would be making his first impression on Kurt's family. He had a pair of white converse, red shorts, and a blue tee-shirt that all looked nice and, as a bonus, made him look patriotic. He fit in well with the crowd at the parade in Columbus that his parents dragged him to, so he was sure that he'd blend in in Lima, too.
His mom sent him out the door with a jar of strawberry salsa that she'd made and a bag of chips, scolding him when he'd accidentally let slip that he was planning to go over empty-handed. Blaine could see his dad laughing behind her, and figured that this was a running thing in the family. Sometimes he could forget that he'd missed out on so much, and then moments like this reminded him that there was still so much he didn't know about himself or his family. Things he'd likely never know.
The drive to Lima seemed to take longer than normal, or perhaps that was his nerves. When he exited the highway, he pulled out his phone to get directions to Kurt's house, and noticed a few texts had come in. He pulled into a McDonald's lot to read them.
Kurt : Dad's just starting up the grill, so now I know it's actually the fourth. It never feels right until he starts making burgers
Kurt : ...thank god you're not here yet. One of the guys from dad's shop found the lighter fluid and nearly exploded the grill. I reek of burned burgers
Kurt : how long until you get here? It's only been a couple days but i miss you!
Blaine : I just pulled off the highway in Lima.
Kurt : Then why are you texting me? I've told you the horror stories of sad, broken cars at my dad's shop right? And about my friend who was nearly paralyzed from texting and driving in high school?
Blaine : yes, yes. I'm sitting at McDonalds being very safe.
Kurt : good, I like your face how it is. No need to mess it up in an auto wreck.
Blaine : wow, you're such a sweet talker
Kurt : :P
Kurt : anyway, cars are parked all up the street, so you'll probably want to start looking for a spot to park like a block away from my house. Just text when you get here and i'll meet you out front
Blaine : okay!
Kurt hadn't been kidding when he said that the street was parked up. Apparently his family had invited half the town to come to their house for the day. Still not confident in his parallel parking skills, Blaine pulled his car into an open spot a few blocks further from Kurt's house so he wouldn't have to deal with parking in a tight spot.
As soon as he turned the corner towards Kurt's house, he saw a familiar head of hair turn his way and Kurt came running.
"Blaine!" Kurt said, hugging him tightly. "I'm so glad you're here!"
Blaine sniffed a little. "Are you drunk?"
"Just tipsy," Kurt attempted to whisper. "Friends from high school came, and Puck never goes anywhere without his flask. We all added a little to our drinks. Just for fun."
"Maybe I should find you some water when we get to your house," Blaine said. "I don't think I want you to introduce me to your parents while you're drunk. What if they think I'm the one that got you drunk?"
Kurt laughed, but then took a deep breath and put his hands on Blaine's shoulders. "Blaine. First off, I'm fine. I can handle my alcohol. Secondly, you're freaking out. It's adorable, but you have no reason to. My parents will love you. And thirdly, they'll know Puckerman is to blame."
Kurt leaned in then and gave Blaine a sweet kiss. "Let's do this," he said, pulling back and grabbing Blaine's hand to drag him towards the backyard.
Kurt directed Blaine first to the porch, where his parents were stationed. Kurt's dad was standing over the grill while Kurt's step-mom had a bottle of beer in each of her hands, obviously taking care of Kurt's dad's drink while he struggled to flip a burger that got stuck on the grill. Blaine saw Kurt and his step-mom exchange a grin as they observed Kurt's dad fighting the food. Both had to stifle their laughter. Despite his nerves, Blaine felt a warm calm come over him. If that tiny interaction was anything to go on, Kurt's family were the kind of people he would want to get to know better.
When they approached, Kurt cleared his throat to draw his father's attention away from the charred remains of the burger.
"Dad, Carole, this is my boyfriend, Blaine. Blaine, these are my parents, Burt and Carole."
Blaine smiled nervously and held out a hand. "It's so great to meet you," he said.
"You too, kid. Kurt hasn't stopped talking about you for weeks," Burt said.
"Dad!" Kurt hissed.
Blaine, Burt, and Carole laughed.
Blaine extended his hand towards Carole, but both quickly realized that with her still guarding the drinks, that wasn't going to work. They danced around each other for a moment before bumping elbows and grinning.
"My mom sent me with some of her strawberry salsa," Blaine said, holding up the nearly-forgotten bag of food. "But it looks like you have more than enough food here."
"Nonsense," Carole said brightly. "Strawberry salsa sounds delicious, and with all of Kurt and Finn's friends, there's never enough food. Kurt can grab a bowl from the kitchen for you."
Blaine suddenly found himself alone with his boyfriend's parents, and became very nervous. He could sense Burt looking at him appraisingly.
"So, you're off to New York, too?" Carole said. Blaine was thankful for her presence. She had once been an outsider in the Hummel family, too, and seemed to understand his nerves.
"Yep, NYU," Blaine said. "But I haven't declared a major yet. There are just too many things I'm interested in studying."
"Kurt mentioned that you're a very good singer."
Blaine blushed. "I guess so. My brother's an actor and singer, though, so I don't know if I want to do that professionally. It's not quite as glamorous as people think."
"Better not introduce him to Kurt. Or Rachel, come to think of it," Burt said. "Those two would probably chase your brother out of the industry with all their questions."
"I don't know, Cooper would probably eat up all the attention. He's a good guy, but his ego is something else entirely."
Kurt had returned from adding the salsa to the array of snacks during the conversation and squeezed Blaine's hand gently, silently asking if Blaine was okay. Blaine turned to smile at Kurt.
"Well it looks like we've lost them," Carole said to Burt. "Why don't you boys go join your friends."
"It was great to meet you," Blaine said again, waving at the adults as Kurt pulled him across the yard to where his friends had gathered near the cornhole boards.
Blaine was almost more nervous about meeting Kurt's friends, but they all seemed very nice. Puck had offered to pour some of whatever was in his flask into Blaine's drink, which he took as a sign that the older boy approved of him. He demurred, not wanting to get even remotely inebriated in front of his new boyfriend's parents. Puck, seeing where his gaze fell, just laughed.
"Burt seems scary, but he's really a good guy," Puck said.
Blaine was a little surprised, both at Puck's intuition about his reluctance to drink and at his apparent closeness with Kurt's family. Puck hadn't really struck him as the kind of guy who would be close friends with Kurt, but then again, he also knew all about expectations put on other people.
Puck soon joined Finn in a game of cornhole, and they managed to twist Kurt's arm into joining a team with his friend Mercedes. Blaine was happy to sit to the side and watch, glad that there was a distraction so that he didn't have to make awkward conversation with Kurt's friends.
After a while, a blonde boy that Blaine was pretty sure was called Sam walked up to him. He recognized him vaguely from Sectionals way back in November. Sam was planning to move out to New York at the end of the summer as well, but wanted to try his luck at modeling. Blaine wouldn't admit it aloud, but he thought that Sam had a promising future. The two boys soon fell into a deeper conversation, and he found that he actually had a lot in common with Sam.
After the game of cornhole ended, Kurt and Mercedes joined Blaine and Sam's conversation. He was feeling fully comfortable when suddenly a loud screech broke through all the various conversations in the yard. Blaine's head shot up, eyes widening in fear, while Kurt just rolled his eyes.
"I think we all owe you an apology in advance for not preparing you for this," Mercedes whispered into Blaine's ear.
A short girl with long brown hair came running up to Kurt, still screeching. Now that he could see her face, Blaine realized that the screech was one of excitement and joy, even if it sounded like she was being murdered. But obviously this was a common enough experience, as everyone else at the party had barely turned a head at the interruption.
The girl had moved on from Kurt and was jumping around and hugging Mercedes. She then turned expectantly towards Blaine.
"Blaine, this is Rachel. She's one of my roommates back in New York and just got back into town for the week. Rachel, this is my boyfriend, Blaine."
"Oh it's so good to meet you!" Rachel said, ignoring Blaine's outstretched hand and diving in for a hug instead. She looked at him appraisingly. "You look so familiar."
"Well, his brother is an actor, maybe you've seen something he's in," Kurt said.
"No," Rachel said thoughtfully, "there's something else. Whatever, I'm sure I'll think of it eventually. Anyway, Mercedes! How have you been?"
Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand. "She's a lot, but she means well."
Blaine smiled. "It's cool. I like your friends. Plus, I'm sure I would've met her eventually, so better sooner rather than later, right?"
"I'm just glad she didn't scare you off. Or shatter your eardrums."
The day had gone remarkably well. Blaine found that he fit in with Kurt's friends and conversation flowed naturally. He could see them all becoming his friends, too, if things continued to go well with Kurt. And he hoped it would.
The day was winding down, and many of the guests had left. All that remained were Kurt and Finn's high school friends and a few adults, probably their parents. The kids had taken over the back yard and Puck and Finn were attempting to build a fire in the firepit.
Kurt explained to Blaine that after an unfortunate incident a few years ago, fireworks and sparklers were no longer allowed in the home, but his parents hadn't said anything about fires. Even though they didn't need to add any extra heat to the heavy July air, the dancing flames were a comforting sight.
Blaine had settled in with the group and felt less on display, now that they had all gotten used to his presence among them. He'd preened when Rachel told him that she liked him much better than Adam, and figured that that was why she'd been staring at him so much throughout the day.
"I got it!" she exclaimed from her spot across the fire from him.
Several of the other teens shot her confused looks.
"I finally figured out where I know you from!"
"Rachel…" Kurt said in a low voice.
Blaine felt his heart speed up.
"Dude. We all saw him at Sectionals, remember?" Sam said.
God bless Sam, Blaine thought. Hopefully she would leave it at that.
"No, you're Blaine Anderson, aren't you? You're the kid –"
"Rachel!" Kurt shouted her name this time, effectively shutting the girl up. "Not now!"
Blaine froze. Did Kurt know? How did Kurt know? How long had he known? His thoughts were spiraling again. His smile melted away, and he found himself getting up and running away. He didn't even stop to think about what Kurt's friends might think or say.
Blaine found a quiet spot on the side of the house and sank to the ground. This was supposed to be a fun party, and here he was ruining everything. Blaine couldn't let himself lose his cool here, not with all these strangers. Not again. Not after all the progress that he'd made.
Five things you can see…
By the time he got to one thing he could taste (sour-sweet lemonade), he was breathing normally again. He looked up just in time to see Kurt rounding the corner.
"Hey," Kurt said softly, sitting down in front of him. "You all right?"
Blaine nodded, then paused. "You knew?"
Kurt nodded and said, "Not right away, though. I didn't make the connection until February, when you came to the city. I heard about the big Blaine Anderson kidnapping trial, and then you happened to be visiting family in Philly, so I googled it - I mean, you… Are you mad I didn't say anything?"
Blaine shook his head and wiped his nose on his wrist, ignoring Kurt's scrunched nose at the gesture.
"I guess not," he said. "I just… I just really liked that you were the part of my life that was totally separate from all of that. That I could just be me, and all you knew was this me. You know, totally unburdened and all that."
"You know that doesn't change anything about how I feel about you right?"
"Yeah but I bet it changed what you thought of me once you found out."
Kurt didn't answer, and Blaine knew he was right.
They were both quiet for a few minutes, Kurt unsure what to say and Blaine trying to figure out how to speak.
"Two years ago," Blaine finally said in a small voice, "my entire world was turned upside down. Literally everything I knew, down to things like my birthday and my name, was a lie. When I met you… Things were finally starting to seem normal. I didn't second guess my name, or that my parents were my parents, or anything like that. Almost everyone around me still walked on eggshells and you were just… you. And I loved that I finally had something that was normal. I didn't mean to hide this from you. I didn't want to, not really. But…"
"But you liked being you." Kurt had never looked away during Blaine's explanation, and when they made eye contact at the end of Blaine's speech, Blaine knew that Kurt understood. That neither was angry with the other for keeping this from them. "I want you to always feel like that around me. But, I do want to get to know all of you, the ugly stuff, too. So if you ever feel like talking, I'm here."
Blaine smiled. "I know," he said.
Just then, Burt rounded the corner with a plate piled high with burgers and chips. "I saw you two head over here and thought you could use some dinner before Sam, Finn, and Puck eat everything."
Kurt chuckled and reached out his hand for the food. "Thanks, dad."
"Blaine, don't let Rachel bother you. She has a big mouth but is a sweet girl. And we all really like how happy you make Kurt."
Kurt flushed, while Blaine stared up at Mr. Hummel in shock.
"You boys come rejoin the party whenever you're ready." He patted Kurt's head, causing Kurt to splutter indignantly and immediately set to fixing his hair.
After Mr. Hummel walked away, Blaine and Kurt sat together for a few minutes, finishing the snacks in a private picnic.
"So your parents know," Blaine said.
Kurt nodded.
"Do they think I'm – I don't know – some kind of freak?"
"Of course not!"
"But I – I mean, I … I'm messed up, Kurt. That's not exactly a parent's dream. Believe me, I know. I've gone through all this with my own parents, too."
"Blaine, you're not messed up. Something messed up happened to you, and you've obviously become such a strong person despite or because of that. And like my dad said, you make me happy. That's all they want. And I'd hope that I make you happy, too."
"You do," Blaine said. "So happy."
"Good."
Kurt leaned in and cupped Blaine's cheek lightly. Blaine blinked his tears away and met Kurt's lips in a gentle kiss. Despite the heavy moment they'd shared, Blaine felt lighter than ever and knew that he'd be able to thoroughly enjoy the rest of the evening. They got up, hands linked, and walked around the corner of the house to rejoin the party.
"Want me to ask Puck if he has a little more booze to share?" Kurt asked, when he saw Blaine surveying the scene.
Blaine laughed. "I think I'll survive on my own." He squeezed Kurt's hand in his.
Every so often for the rest of the party, Blaine looked up and saw Kurt's parents or friends watching him. He figured that he would have some tough conversations coming up soon. But since telling his story in court, he'd become more comfortable with people knowing. And since meeting Kurt, he'd become more confident in himself.
At the beginning of the summer, Matt had begun talking to Blaine about ending their therapy. Even though he was planning to go off to school in New York, he hadn't consciously realized that it meant his time with Matt would be ending. He felt ambushed by the news.
"Can I still come see you on breaks?" he'd asked.
"Sure," Matt said. "I'm always happy to help you, Blaine, but I don't even know if you need me anymore."
Blaine looked at Matt dumbly. "Matt," he said, "I'm basically always two steps away from breaking down."
"Firstly, that's not even a little bit true," Matt said, though he did laugh a little bit. "And secondly, the kid who first came to me nearly two years ago would never have been bold enough to say anything like that. You've grown a lot."
Blaine blushed and looked down at his hands in his lap.
"Now, I'm a believer that everyone needs a little therapy in their life, and I'd be happy to do some research and make a referral for you in New York and keep working with you on school breaks. But not because you need to be fixed. You never did, Blaine. You just needed a little nudge to help you figure yourself out."
"What if I freak out when I move again? I mean, the last time I moved it was pretty traumatic. What if it's, like, a trigger or something?"
"Then you can call your parents, or Cooper, or me, and use those coping strategies we've been working on for the last two years. You're a lot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for, Blaine."
Blaine shook his head, but when he looked back up at Matt, he was smiling slightly. "I guess I don't really have a choice anyway, unless you'd want to move your practice to New York?"
Matt laughed. "Not likely. Now, we still have a few months left to wrap things up, so let's get started."
In one of the last sessions, Matt gave Blaine a piece of paper and asked him to fill it out. "It's called the Post-Traumatic Growth Inventory," Matt explained. "It's a way to measure the positive changes since experiencing a trauma. I think that looking through this together will be really helpful in realizing all the progress that you have made. And if you are still worried, I also have a list here of a few therapists in New York who accept your parents' insurance and all come highly recommended." Matt held up the second piece of paper, but didn't pass it over yet. "Being in therapy isn't a sign of weakness. It means that you're working to know yourself better."
Blaine smiled, and picked up a pen off the table to begin working on the assessment. It was only 21 questions long, just one side of a sheet of paper, but Blaine felt stumped by some of those questions.
"Is it referring to before everything and after everything, or just from when I started with you to now?" he asked.
"Answer how it feels right to you," Matt said. "Trauma isn't usually a single event that gets turned on and off like a light switch, and it certainly wasn't for you. Plus, we're not doing this in any sort of official capacity, but as a way to learn about how successful you have been in the last couple of years."
Blaine understood what Matt meant by the time he came to the end of the sheet. Just by answering those questions, he felt more confident. He smiled as he passed it back over to Matt.
Blaine had gotten his dorm assignment at the beginning of the summer and had connected with his roommate over Facebook. Now that he was actually days away from leaving, however, his excitement about moving to the city and starting college turned to nerves.
What if he ended up hating New York? What if he failed all of his classes? What if he didn't make any friends at school?
He could feel himself spiraling, and despite knowing exactly what Matt, Cooper, Kurt, Sebastian, Syd, and his parents would tell him – that he was psyching himself out, that he had been through tougher situations, that he had chosen this for himself – he couldn't stop the anxiety from creeping in and keeping him up almost the entire night before the big move.
His parents had decided to drive him to the city so that he didn't have to worry about buying furniture and accessories for his dorm at New York City prices. They loaded up the minivan early in the morning and began the eight and a half hour drive before the sun was fully up.
Even though it had only been his home for two years, Blaine felt himself growing nostalgic for the streets of Westerville. He knew that a lot of people said that college is the time to find yourself and become who you really are, but for him, that journey was already completed. That story had been written in the halls of Dalton, the stages where he'd performed, and the bedroom his parents had kept for him for a decade before he'd returned.
He drifted off to sleep somewhere around Akron and didn't wake up again until they pulled off the interstate at a rest stop somewhere in Pennsylvania. His parents didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, or at least, they didn't share his same concerns.
"This is much nicer than when we moved Cooper into his first dorm," Pam said. "We couldn't drive him out to LA, and the flights were absolutely horrible. Our first flight was delayed so badly that they had to rebook us on the second flight that actually got us to LA."
"Cooper was not thrilled, to say the least," James added. "He had to move into his dorm a day late because of the delays and was convinced that because of that everyone would have already broken off into cliques and he'd be alone."
"Did you guys stay in LA after moving him in, or did you head back to Ohio?"
"Oh, we stuck around. Cooper was moaning and groaning about how he didn't need his parents, and then on his second day in the dorm, he called us –"
"– Oh, I remember! What was his excuse? 'You've been so desperate for a campus tour' even though we hadn't talked to him because we wanted to give him space to adjust," James cut into Pam's explanation.
Pam laughed. "Something like that. Basically he begged us to come get him because he was feeling homesick, so we took him out for lunch and let him walk us all over campus."
Blaine gulped nervously. If Cooper – bold, unabashed, confident Cooper – had gotten so nervous and homesick, what was going to happen to him when he moved in? He had spent far more time being concerned about hurting his parents' feelings by moving away, that every time he thought about his own nerves, he became more and more worked up.
By the time they arrived at the campus and found a parking space, Blaine had a stomach ache.
The check-in process went smoothly, and an RA told him where he could borrow a cart to bring his stuff up to his room. It was on the eighth floor but luckily his building had an elevator. He'd already heard a horror story from Nick, whose dorm room was only on the fourth floor but he'd had to carry all of his things up four flights of stairs to reach it.
Blaine rejoined his parents to unload his life from the van.
He was a little surprised at how much stuff he had accumulated, even excluding all the newly purchased dorm items like the microwave. The move from Sacramento had probably involved less stuff, and that had been his entire life he was uprooting. This time, he still had a fully furnished and stocked room waiting for him back in Ohio.
His roommate, Ethan, was already in the room with his parents and little sister when Blaine walked up with his cart of belongings. They'd talked a few times over Facebook, but it was still awkward meeting for the first time and knowing that they'd be living together for the next nine months regardless of how much they actually ended up liking each other in reality.
Luckily, Ethan seemed pretty cool. He was a math major, which Blaine thought was insane – who voluntarily studied calculus? – but didn't seem like he would be the stereotypical "nerd" who spent all his time studying. That impression was confirmed when Ethan whispered to Blaine that he'd already found an upperclassman who would buy him beer and asked if Blaine wanted to donate to the alcohol fund.
While Blaine and Ethan tried to figure out where to fit the minifridge and microwave in their impossibly small dorm room and whether or not to bunk or loft their beds, the parents chatted and Blaine thought he even heard them making plans to go out for dinner. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was so typical that his mom would be better at making friends than he was.
After as long as they could justify hanging around, the parents finally announced that they had to leave. Like when they'd dropped Cooper off at UCLA, Blaine's parents were planning to spend several days in the city, in case Blaine needed anything from them. It was still an emotional goodbye, however, as he hugged them both tightly outside his dorm room.
"If you need anything, even just to talk, call us," his mom whispered.
"You'll be great," his dad added.
"Thanks," he said, trying to keep the emotions down. He didn't want to cry in front of Ethan just yet. "Love you."
"We love you too, sweetie," his mom said, pulling him in tight for another hug.
And then they were gone.
He turned back to his side of the room and started unpacking his clothes and books, hoping to make the place feel more homey.
Pam and James were staying in a hotel several blocks away from the campus. Considering that it was move-in time for most of the universities in the city, they'd managed to find a room at a pretty good rate, and the building wasn't nearly as sketchy as they'd feared.
They picked up some take-out after checking into the hotel, not really feeling up to exploring the city just yet. Perhaps another time that they came to visit Blaine, but right now, neither was feeling up to doing much.
"I can't believe that he's already moving out," Pam said when they finally reached the privacy of their room.
James nodded. "Two years wasn't enough."
They rarely let themselves talk like that. They had spent enough time – twelve years nearly – mourning time lost with their son. They had promised each other to only celebrate each and every moment they did get with him now that they had him back. But in truth, it was hard for them to let him go, even knowing that it was nothing like when he had been taken from them.
"Was it this hard when Cooper moved to LA?" Pam asked, even though she knew the answer before James shook his head. "Are we terrible parents that we didn't miss Cooper as much when he left?"
"Of course we missed him," James said. "And it did hurt when he left. But he'd never left us before, so we knew he was still there."
"Do you think Blaine's going to miss us?"
"Of course he will!"
"But he… sometimes I worry that even though we've gotten so close, he still doesn't think of us first when he's feeling sad. I worry that he won't turn to us for help if he's not living with us. He didn't have enough time to get used to us."
"Pam, you've seen the same progress that I've seen over the last two years. Blaine is so strong and so smart. He knows that we're here for him no matter what."
Blaine sat on his bed, staring at the dorm room around him. It had taken a surprisingly short amount of time to unpack everything and he was feeling at a loss as to what to do next. Ethan had left for the first year welcome party, and he knew that he should go. He needed to make friends and embrace the college experience. But something felt wrong.
After the last two years, it was strange to not have his parents around. It felt wrong to have left them, to be apart from them. He knew that it was normal to be a little homesick at college, and that he should want to move out of his parents' home. But he'd had so little time with them. Maybe he should have gone to Ohio State and lived at home.
He realized that all he wanted was to hear his mom and dad's voices.
And then he realized that he could make that happen.
Blaine picked up his cell phone and dialed the number easily from memory. It barely had a chance to ring once before his mom answered.
"Blaine?"
He smiled, and felt the knot of tension loosening. "Hi mom."
"Are you okay honey?"
"Yeah," he said. "I just missed you."