Boss

Eyeing the batch of people that had gathered in front of me, I had, needless to say, mixed feelings. On one hand, I already knew what they were capable of. Over the last few months, I'd seen them in action, observed their success, and seen just how effective they were at waging guerilla warfare against a logistically and numerically advantaged opponent.

On the other hand, however, it was not a guerilla war we were preparing for now. The Fire Nation was mobilizing. As were we. We were expecting invasion and being prepared to invade the enemy back. Guerilla warfare could only take us so far. We had to be prepared total war, and eyeing those assembled in front of me-approximately 60 young child soldiers for this first lesson, joking around, nudging and prodding one another, fiddling with their individual weapons, all undisciplined, all unprepared.

The message we had received last night had left me unsettled to be sure. At the very least, it was indicative of some progress. At around midnight, our team at the Patriot had reported to us that a sudden mist had risen over the Nip Sea, covering as far as anybody could see. It wouldn't have been strange news save for the fact that it had come out of nowhere.

3 hours later in the early morning, we had visitors. Water Tribesmen once again, and bringing news at that. Sure enough, the mist had been of their own making, using the full moon as an advantage to create such a powerful fog to cloud their movements.

The Fire Nation had sent patrols to investigate, none of which had returned. It was enough to send the message to pull back. And so they had, paving the perfect path for the Water Tribe to take advantage of the situation.

At the end of it all, they'd held their end of the deal, hell, went even further than that. They used the opportunity they had provided for themselves to visit the coastal Earth Kingdom outposts and deliver the messages that Gordez and the others had brought them, acting as messengers to bring the news to us.

And so they had. They woke Kiu who, in turn, woke me, wishing for me to be present when he read what the tribe had to say. They brought news from the Earth Kingdom. And that news was that we were to prepare for war.

Separatists of the Nip Sea,

We have received news on behalf of our allies in the Revanchist Water Tribe of your state in the conflict.

We commend your efforts in your fight against the Fire Nation and we call upon you now to aid your Kingdom further in bringing this conflict to an end.

We are anticipating a Fire Nation offensive in the near future. We call on your forces to supplement our own in the defense of our southern settlements and eventual re-conquest of our northern coast.

For the Earth Kingdom. For the Earth King.

I was still looking at the parchment where it lay before us on the table, some part of me annoyed and insulted, and another, a far greater part of me, astounded that they'd had the nerve to order us so after being cut off from us for months now.

"They want us to act as frontline soldiers," Kiu said, still processing what he was reading.

I shook my head. "It's suicide. We're guerillas. Not grunts."

He folded the paper before him, setting it aside at his desk. "We are now."

I couldn't help but look at him in befuddlement, no aspect of me unsurprised by what he'd said.

"What?! You're not actually saying that we're going to go ahead with this."

"We've been waiting for months for the Earth Kingdom's orders. To finally know our orders, what our part is to finally bring this conflict to an end. Now we know."

"Yeah, great. Now you know that they're calling on you to use you and your forces as cannon fodder against a Fire Nation offensive."

"We're Earth Kingdom citizens and we've been called to duty. We're not going to shirk away from it now just because the odds aren't in our favor. They never have been before anyway."

"Yeah, sure, except before, even if the odds were against us, we knew what we were up against. We had the advantage of the terrain, fighting in circumstances we were acquainted with. Now, we're being sent to fight the kind of war that none of us here are prepared for. You'd be giving your lives en masse for nothing."

"It's not for nothing! If we're going to give our lives, it's going to be to protect our homes, to defend the people of this region, to ensure that a hostile invasion doesn't take any more lives." Kiu shook his head. "And here I was under the impression that you help yourself to a similar belief."

To protect those who cannot protect themselves. I remembered my own words too well.

"But Kiu. The fact remains that we're not ready. We don't have the training."

"Then train them. Train them to fight as soldiers."

"Train them to-" Did he know. No, he couldn't. He didn't know what he was saying. "How could I train them to fight as-"

"Stop. I don't know why you keep up the act with the others, and I don't care. You're helping us, and that's what matters. I won't tell anybody else, but I know you're more than just mercenaries. I know a soldier when I see one. You and your men, you're soldiers. At the very least, you used to be."

"I-" I was in the process of trying to find something to say, some defense, some desperate lie. Until I figured it just wasn't worth it. "That obvious, huh?"

"No. The others don't suspect anything. But when you live through war as long as I have, you pick up on some things. What can I say, you and me aren't too different in that regard."

I chuckled, certainly not picturing him in a Fire Nation uniform. "I certainly doubt that, Kiu."

He scoffed in reply. "You're probably right, but I know that you have what it takes to show my men what war is. You already agreed to teach them what you knew. Your arrangement has not changed. Show them what they need. Show my people how to fight this war and win. Show my people how to fight this war and survive."

And so I'd agreed, and here I was. I hadn't agreed with the Earth Kingdom's decisions, but I suppose that didn't matter anymore. Kiu wasn't wrong. In his position, I'd likely do the same. Protecting those who couldn't protect themselves. It was as though he already knew all there was to know about me. Certainly knew more about me than I knew of him.

I looked at the people gathered before me. I recognized a good number of them. The last few months here had given me amble opportunity to match a number of faces with names.

This is what I'm dealing with. I looked around me. In the forest, in their home domain, they could wither down enemy patrols, harass caravans, sabotage campsites, but in territory they were not prepared for, against a suspecting and prepared enemy, they'd be wiped out. And this is what I'm here to change.

I summoned everything I could remember from my own time training, from my service in the Navy, well, possibly less about that, but from General Iroh, the Dragon of the West, calm, but determined, tempered, by strong, beyond all doubt, and from his son, Lu Ten, who had rallied an army in the midst of hell.

I took a deep breath, and prayed I wasn't about to make a complete and total fool of myself.

"Atten-shun!" I hadn't expected the voice that emerged from me, digging through all of my memories from all I've learned from others, but not in the slightest expecting the reaction I got from the crowd that immediately snapped into focus. By fear more than by discipline, they all turned towards me, merely looking for the source of the noise rather than actually responding to the voice of their commander. A good start all the same. Results are results.

Their attention was on me now and I found myself hard pressed to know how to proceed. They're looking at me. Now what? Screw it. I wing it.

"You all know why you're here. Kiu probably told you all that for the next few weeks, I'm going to be training you. You'll be learning the basics of combat and styles of fighting you're likely not acquainted with."

One of the trainees raised a hand. One I recognized to be Laniro. He'd been with Jadoh when he was attacked. He didn't wait for permission to speak, the raised hand clearly only acting as an indication that he was about to speak. "Yeah, uh, excuse me, but we already know how to fight. Been doing it for, you know, last few years now." He didn't make any effort to hide the insult and I figured I probably should have specified what I meant better, especially as a number of chuckles arose from the crowd did more than enough to show the mistake I'd made.

"You're all accustomed to one form of fighting, sure, guerilla warfare, but that's not what we need to be prepared for. We're going to be assisting Earth Kingdom forces in defending and retaking territory.

"So we're finally seeing some real action!?" an overexcited separatist I recognized as Harick. I liked the kid. Was one of the few who had been somewhat decent to me and my men while we were still in the doghouse. Still, his excitement at being thrown onto the frontlines could have used some improvement.

"Yes, but I wouldn't be too excited about that if I were you."

"Why not? We've fought the Fire Nation before. Plenty of 'em when sent out on patrol. All of us together, we can take them"

A fair amount of ruckus agreement arose from the crowd, voicing their just as blinded pride in their abilities. Didn't have any trouble kicking those bucket head asses before. Why would we now?"

I sighed. Oh spirits. "Because, for starters, the Fire Nation won't be committing cannon fodder to a true invasion. In addition to that, you'll be fighting in unfamiliar terrain, taking orders from higher ups and being expected to act as fighting units rather than autonomous squads as you've been doing here."

"So what?" spoke up Keerick, the same one who'd tried to kill me in the wake of Lei'fo's betrayal. "What you're saying is that you're training us to be dogs of the military?"

Great. Now you're finally catching on.

"You're being trained to fight a new type of war."

He scoffed. "Suit yourself, but I'm not here to take orders from a distant military that has no idea how best to use our skills."

If only he knew just how much I agree with him. I couldn't find a substantial argument against what he'd said, but I'd have to. For Kiu. For the people we were here to fight for. Even if it meant fighting my own people.

I saw a number of them turning to leave. I couldn't afford that.

"Why are any of you here?" I asked in one last ditch effort. "You've been fighting for years here knowing it may come to this one day, and now it has. Why the change in heart? Not up for it? Afraid of the fight?"

It was enough to turn their attention back towards me. That was something.

"I know you've been fighting this war for longer than I have, but I've been fighting all across the world. I've fought soldiers, tribesmen, benders, even guerillas like you. The reason I'm alive and they are not because they all made the same mistakes—they overestimated their abilities. So, for now, take a moment to consider that maybe you're not the best fighters in the world and that there's still more for you to learn."

They'd stopped leaving. They were insulted. I could tell that much. It didn't matter. I was here to stop them from getting killed within moments of the true war beginning. If they hated me for it, so be it. The time of me trying to win their love had when they stopped trying to kill me.

"Good," I said upon seeing they still remained gathered before me. "Then let's begin."

And so the training session went on.

It resulted in only a complete disaster.

I had tried to start small, to simply run them through different forms, drills, basics along those lines.

Whether it was them being plainly insulted by my words or actions or them essentially refusing to follow my orders whatsoever, nothing was going as I'd hoped it would.

I tried starting small.

When I'd attempted to get a sense of their adequacy with certain weapon, they'd simply tossed them aside in search of weapons they were better acquainted with no matter how many times I pushed upon them the importance of knowing how to wield more than one weapon in the incident of losing theirs or facing a supply shortage.

They hadn't listened.

I found myself tempted many times over to just let them leave. There was hardly any point in keeping them around anyway if they'd refuse to listen.

But I stuck around anyway, and a couple of hours later, it was over, nobody having learned anything.

A complete disaster.

I was left alone on the forest floor facing a misused training floor, weapons scattered about, myself feeling as though I was facing a Fire Nation preschool's playroom after the kids had refused to clean their mess.

What a disgrace.

I went about cleaning up after their mess, having nothing else to do after all.

Kiu's going to love to hear this.

I could feel somebody approaching from behind me. I remained set to my task, not having the nerve to face who I expected to be Kiu, here to scold me for my failure.

He stopped behind me. Just get it over with.

"Training go well I take it?"

Jadoh?

I turned to face the source of the voice I believed I'd recognized, finding him, sure enough, directly behind me, arm suspended in a cast, but undoubtedly looking far better than the last time I'd seen him.

The relief I felt in seeing him as opposed to Kiu in this moment couldn't be understated, allowing me to release a calmed chuckle, saying, "That obvious?"

He turned his head back over the disheveled training ground, making a mocking effort of careful deliberating the meaning behind his surroundings, eventually, after a few sarcastic moments, turning back to me to say, "Hmmmm. Yes."

I scoffed, but the levity I was trying to force out could only replace the frustration for so long, having enough of an effect on my face that even Jadoh could tell. "Rough day, huh?" he asked.

I sighed, choosing instead to dodge the question in asking, "so Sawbones let you out of the infirmary?"

"Well….he doesn't exactly know that I'm here."

"Ah. So I see."

"I mean-I wasn't just about to spend the rest of the war on a hospital bed."

"So how's the arm?"

"Well, I mean, it's still attached, but I also have a valid excuse to lounge about nowadays so I can't complain. Definitely having an easier time of things than you are right now."

I gave up on trying to hide the obvious frustration. "Jadoh, I can't even-I don't even know what the hell to do. They're infuriating. They're self-righteous, believe they know everything, themselves at the top of the world, it's like they're-they're like-"

"Like me?"

"I was going to say like children, but now that you mention it, yeah."

He chuckled, taking a seat on a nearby tree log. "Ever consider employing a similar solution for a similar problem then?"

I scoffed. "You meaning throw them into the fire and hope they get their ass kicked enough to teach a lesson but not enough to send them home in a box?"

"That's a way of putting it, but no. Just put them in a position to show them how little they really now. A little humiliation can go a long way. Believe me. I'd know."

"Hmph. You would, huh?" I asked, taking a seat on the log next to him. I feel like I should apologize for that. We definitely weren't easy on you being the new guy."

"Oh don't be. I deserved it, high and mighty piece of shit that I was."

"Hmm. I guess. Still, would have done things differently in hindsight."

"If anything should have done things differently, it's me. You did the right thing, pushed me to become better, but let me figure it out on my own. Sometimes, a firm hand does the trick."

My lips couldn't help but twist into a slight smile at that, hearing that I may have actually done something right. "Thanks," I said after a while. "I appreciate that."

He smiled in return, the smile quickly being replaced by a look of realization as he said, "Oh! Right! We got word from Heigou!" He was digging through his pockets as he continued. "Longshot shot down a Hawk. Was headed towards Xinxing, but looks like it was meant for us. Was addressed towards you. Looks like the fog finally got news flowing again for us." He pulled it out, immediately handing it over to me. It was still sealed with some unmarked wax, but the characters marking "Boss" were undoubtedly in Gordez's handwriting.

I debated for a moment whether I should open it here in front of Jadoh, not knowing what the contents might contain, but I figured quickly enough that Gordez would be smart enough to not send anything incriminating. He'd been more than careful about that over the last 3 years. He wouldn't slip up now.

I unsealed the letter, removing the paper contained inside while Jadoh leaned over to get a peak as well. One joking glare was enough to send him retreating back, but he returned soon enough, and I permitted him to do so as the contents of the note already seemed innocent for the most part.

Boss,

Our work in Heigou is concluded. Put down mercenaries who had been harassing Heigou down.

We are now en route to the Xiahu military base, and from there, Jingping.

Will relay update upon reaching Xiahu.

The team is at full strength and in good spirits despite complications.

We hope that Jadoh is in good health and that Zadok and Kosah are faring well.

We miss you.

-Gordez

"We miss you." I smiled.

"Awww," I heard Jadoh say from behind me, afraid for a moment that my smile may have given something away. "Big guy really is sentimental."

I chuckled at that, more out of relief than at his quip. I folded the letter back up, wondering if I should reply, but figuring it'd fall on deaf ears. By the time a hawk got to them, Heigou would already be long behind them. I stood up, figuring it was necessary to relay the pertinent information to Kiu.

"Where you off to?"

"Should give Kiu the update, let him know how things are going on the other side of the Nip."

"Going to mention training?"

"Not unless he brings it up."

The answer was met with a humored scoff. "Hey, 'member. Firm hand. Worked on me."

"But will it work on two hundred of you?"

He shrugged. "One way to find out."

Gordez

The ugliness of yesterday was finally over.

I still didn't know if it had been the right thing to do.

The Rhino's mercenaries had been a threat. One that had needed removal to be sure, and I didn't doubt that the people of Heigou were safer now for it. For that matter though, perhaps the way we'd gone about it could have been better. I shouldn't have let Luke be there for the interrogation. Hell, I never should have interrogated that merc in the first place. But we had learned what we needed to know from him.

I found his body where we'd left him the day before. He was dead in a pile of his own shit. I burned his body while the others slept. I don't think I had gotten a wink of sleep. It didn't matter.

The morning sun was already out when I got back to our camp, the others still sleeping, as they likely would be for the next few hours. It'd been a late night.

I couldn't stop my eyes from lingering on Luke's tent for a while longer, wondering just what effect yesterday had had on him. I wondered if I was being overconcerned, immediately grasping at whatever straw I could to begin worrying myself over how he was becoming his old self again. It was different though. Right. What he did yesterday, it wasn't anything like a year ago. He wasn't killing the innocent, he wasn't reveling in the suffering of the weak, he was fighting a cruel and inhuman enemy. Maybe he had let his anger get the better of him, but who among us hadn't. For crying out loud, I tortured that mercenary and gave him a slow and agonizing death. Why was it Luke I was worried about? Just because I'd seen the things he did?

As though I didn't possess my own share of things I regret doing?

I shook the thoughts aside. I was being too hard on him. He said he knew. He understood. He's not who he was back in Ba Sing Se. Hell, he never was who he was in Ba Sing Se. That's just what the war made him, but it was never who he was. I wanted to believe that at least. Truth was, I had no idea who he was before, but if Hizo's death was any indication of what Luke's upbringing was like in Citadel, maybe I shouldn't be surprised if there always was some of that nature within him.

I turned back to my own tent, empty, not having been touched during the night. We should get going. We've stayed here longer than we should have.

I got to packing up my own things, disassembling my tent, clearing my area, getting everything ready for us to leave by the end of the day. This hadn't even been our main objective. This was only a favor we'd done for the Revanchist Tribe. We still had yet to get in touch with the Earth Kingdom forces on the coast and restore communication with the Separatists.

The brief consideration of shirking our responsibility to do so passed through my mind, considering if it would really be the worst thing in the world to just leave them here and now. But after all, it was only a brief consideration. One that made no sense. We had no transportation, not enough food nor water to take us away from this conflict, and more than anything else, we were leaving people behind. Jadoh, and of course, Sho-no, Boss.

Every time, the wait gets longer and longer.

In Ba Sing Se, it was a given. Despite being in the same unit, we'd get different assignments from time to time, separated, leaving me wondering if he and his crew were still alive, but it would only be for a few hours at a time. Now, our time apart would last days and weeks. Will it continue to go up from here?

I tried not to think about it. The sooner I got to thinking about the task at hand and not on…Boss.

I'd first believed the name he called himself by was a vain effort of reminding others of his command. It was only a while after we'd begun seeing each other as more than comrades that he told me the real reason.

"It's not to remind others that I'm in charge. It's to remind myself. If I keep on thinking myself as just like them, I won't be willing to do what it takes to keep them safe."

"You are just like them. You're only human. You can't hold yourself to something higher and mightier than the rest."

He had turned my attention then to the mark of Staff Sergeant on his pauldron. "You see this?"

"Staff sergeant," I said, almost disgusted by him pulling rank on me. I had spent over half a year under his command by that point, working with every fiber of my being to see the man behind the rank only for him to do this now. I couldn't help but be somewhat disappointed until I heard what he had to say after.

"This means that there are people beneath me. This means that there are people who, when their lives are on the line, when they are under heavy fire, when they are moments away from death, who will look at me, expecting me to know what to do, to tell them what to do, to save them, to lead them. When they see the mark on my armor, they believe me to be more than them."

"But you're not."

"But I'm not, but I have to believe that I am. If I don't I fall apart. And if I fall apart, it doesn't just mean my life. It means the lives of those I care about."

His eyes were on me when he said that final part, and I understood. Not just the subtle subscript of what he'd said at the end, but beyond that, why he did what he did. As a commander of men, he carried the burden of their lives being dependent on him. That was no gift of command. Not the way he saw it. It was a curse, but one he refused to subject to another, instead, embracing it and swearing to do what had to be done.

Part of it had meant abandoning who he was. I used to wonder if he regretted his choice, but as the years had gone by under his command, as I saw time and time again, he continues to be one of the best damn commanders I'd ever witnessed on the field, I knew it had been worth it. I sometimes still wondered if he regretted it. For his sake, I hope he didn't, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish that he could unburden himself from the title of command someday. So he could finally stop being 'Boss.'

He told me for the first time what his real name was that day.

"Gordez!" I heard a nun's voice emerge from behind me. It was Miyang. Good.

"Hey there, Miyang," I responded with a light smile, bowing my head towards her in greeting, but judging by the sound of her voice, she didn't seem as prone towards a gentle greeting as I had been. "Know where I can find Kala?" I asked.

Her answer came in the sole form of her cocking her head in the direction of the stern older nun who, by the look of her, was tending to some of the sick.

I set off in her direction, not anticipating a pleasant conversation judging by Miyang's 'greeting', if one could even call it that.

I stood a few feet off behind her, waiting for her to finish with what she was doing which didn't take much longer, approaching her as she set off in a different direction, catching me in her periphery as she did.

"I heard what happened last night."

"I'm not going to apologize for what we did."

"I wouldn't expect you to. Did you ever stop to consider the effects of what you did?"

"I had. Quite a lot as a matter of fact. Came to the conclusion that finishing this once and for all was the better alternative to letting this town continue to be harassed and slowly killed off by them."

"I'm not talking about what you did to them. They got what they had coming, but the people you conscripted. Civilians, our protectors, some of our aspiring nuns even. Did you consider the effect it would leave on them?"

"They weren't conscripted!" I argued back rather defensively, lowering my voice after realizing how loud I'd been, not wanting to disturb the scores of resting injured and sickly in the town plaza. "Sorry, but they weren't conscripted. They volunteered."

"So when a 13-year-old girl volunteers to put her life in jeopardy for something as juvenile as revenge, you let her?"

I sighed. I made a lot of mistakes yesterday to be sure. Mistakes I knew that Boss wouldn't have made. What's done is done.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you said you weren't going to apologize." What does she want from me?

I had no response to that, not that she was expecting one as she spoke up again shortly after to say, "She came to me when you all came back. She told me what happened, scorned us for not doing the same. Said that if we had acted sooner, taken the offensive, lives could have been saved."

"You disagree?"

"No. Perhaps if we had acted when we first knew we were being attacked, lives could have been saved."

"But…"

"But we're not warriors. Even if we had acted, I doubt we would have lived to tell the tale. Besides, we've sworn to pacifism. We only have protectors such as Gehor to defend us."

"You told her this?"

"Yes, and she said we should have at least tried. That by doing nothing, we shirked our responsibility to care for others. Perhaps she's right."

"I'm-I'm sorry for everything."

"Don't be. You were right the first time when you said you wouldn't apologize. You shouldn't. What you did saved countless lives. I only wish you'd considered more how best to approach it. That girl, Zare, she has a fire inside of her. One that's taken her to dark places before. I thought I could temper that flame and make her one of us. Give her something better." She sighed, looking down on the ground, her aged features appearing stronger than before, something of a weariness in her appearance that I could only now see, replacing the strength and determination I'd only seen from her before. "I take it you plan on leaving."

I nodded. "We need to move on. Earth Kingdom is expecting an attack by the coast sometime soon. We're heading down there to lend a hand and see what we can do."

"Hmm. Ever the fighters then."

I don't think she had intended it as an insult, but I couldn't help interpreting it as such to some small degree. A small part of me wanted to argue, but I settled on simply nodding.

"Well, if you're heading down there and the situation is manageable. Perhaps you can convince the Earth Kingdom to send some people our way. Staying in this city is a poor idea and it's too dangerous to travel the roads with only our small escort. Smaller now. If you could-"

"We'll send the word, ma'am."

She nodded. "Thank you. It would go a long way. Oh, and before I forget, you may want to get a message back to your people."

I turned back towards her, already in the midst of walking back to camp to alert the others. "The Water Tribe's back already?"

"Better. Put a fog up over the sea covering about half of it."

"What makes you think it's not just a natural fog?"

"Sent us word by messenger hawk. Said they spent the night working on it."

"If the fog's up, why not just send a hawk to Xiahu yourselves?"

"Fog doesn't go that far, they told us. Could only cover so much of the sea and for however long we don't know. So you'll want to send a message to your people while you can."

"Will do, and we'll try and send some Earth Kingdom soldiers your way to help out."

She nodded. "Are you and your people supplied for the journey?"

"We'll make do."

She shook her head. "You've done a lot for us. It's only fair we return the favor. We won't leave you empty handed."

I nodded in appreciation. "Thank you. Only what you can spare. We don't want to take anything away from your people or the sick."

"We'll get some supplies together for you. Go write to your people. When you leave, stop by first."

"Will do."

After that, we parted ways for the morning. I received a number of different looks from the nun's entourage as I passed by back towards camp. Some looked at me as though I was evil incarnate while others as though I was a messiah.

As much as I'd have preferred to leave in universal high standing, I supposed that this was the best I could ask for. Public relations were always Boss's specialty. Were it him instead of me, I'm sure our little band of misfits would have been leaving Heigou as local heroes in the eyes of all.

I made my way to the town roost, one of the nuns cleaning the night's worth of feces, catching my eye as I approached.

"Hey there!" she said, eyes beaming. She was one of the younger ones, and by her expression, one of the camp that didn't hate the living hell out of me. "Here to send a message?"

I nodded. "Need one headed towards the Beisu forest."

She considered for a moment before saying, "I have one trained for Xinxing, but, for the forest, no, sadly not. It'll just fly right over."

"Hmm," I considered. An idea came to mind, though not a particularly kind one. I knew the Seppies were more than capable of intercepting Fire Nation messages in the past. "It'll do," I said, already feeling guilty for what I was about to do.

"Alright! I'll get her ready for you!"

Did you need to call it 'her'?

"I'll-I'll get the message ready."

"Uh-huh! She'll be waiting."

I considered if the message was really worth sending, but without it, Boss and the Separatists would have no idea of where we were. I knew that, at the very least, Xiahu would have messenger birds trained for the Separatists base. We could wait until then, but if something happens before we reach Xiahu, or if Xiahu's already been compromised, then what?

Damnit.

I made up my mind, and tried not to let my mind dwell on it as I found some parchment and ink and took a seat near the end of the square to jot out my message.

Boss, I started, considering how to continue. I moved my quill in position to begin a heartfelt letter, something along the lines of which I'd shared with Boss many times in the past, but immediately decided against it, my sensibilities reminding me of whichever 3rd parties may come across the message before Boss did.

That'd be just what he needs. Just got off of the Seppies' kill list only for me to paint a far brighter target on his back.

No, I just had to keep things straight, simple, and to the point.

We are now en route to the Xiahu military base, and from there, Jingping.

Will relay update upon reaching Xiahu.

The update on our position wouldn't be enough for Boss, knowing him. He'd want to know how we were, if we were managing, especially in light of what we'd sent his way last time in relation to the recent difficulties.

The team is at full strength and in good spirits despite complications.

I remembered then, in writing of my current entourage, of how we'd left more people than just Boss behind.

We hope that Jadoh is in good health and that Zadok and Kosah are faring well.

I considered how to finish it then, wanting to, even if I couldn't be blatant about it, leave something personal within the contents of the message.

We miss you.

It would have to do.

I signed the message off with, -Gordez, and left it at that.

I hoped it would suffice, and more than that, make it to its destination. A momentary bout of paranoia had me wondering if the fog was even there. If perhaps it had been Fire Nation spies disguised as Water Tribals who came to give false intel about fog to lure us out and deliver a treasure trove of intel straight into their hands, but no, our alliance with the Revanchist Tribe was still written in wet ink. I had my doubts that the Fire Nation was up to date on our dealings.

The paranoia passed, and I folded the message, sealing it, addressing it towards Boss on the outside of the parchment.

I delivered the message quickly enough to the young and enthusiastic nun, her enthusiasm tightening the knot in my stomach as she affectionately handled her hawk, tying the message to its back and sending it off with a flurry of supportive words as it, no, she, flew off into the northwest.

I am going to hell beyond all doubt now.

I circled back to our campsite in the connecting alleyways, hoping to relieve, or, at the very least, forget about my guilt through interacting with the rest of the group.

Sure enough, Zek was awake when I found, by the looks of him quite recently, stretching his muscles outside of his tent, cracking his back, performing all manner of rituals. "Morning, Gordez," he grunted in the midst of bending over to touch his toes. "Sleep well?"

"Didn't," I corrected him.

"Ah. Well, that doesn't seem particularly healthy."

"Going to lecture me?" I asked in jest.

"Well somebody's gotta now that Boss is away," Zek chuckled.

It was around then that Ka'lira popped out of the flap of Zek's tent, rubbing her eyes and looking up to face to two of us, asking, "What's going on out here?"

"Oh, I'm just lecturing Gordez on healthy sleeping habits. Want to chime in?"

She yawned, crawling the rest of the way out of the tent and rising in a stretch to say in the exaggerated tone of a schoolteacher or perhaps a doctor, "Gordez, remember to get your recommended 8 hours of sleep a day."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said dismissively despite the smile on the face. I shifted back to business mode then, despite wanting to give my friends a break, knowing that we were already quite behind schedule. "We should start packing. We'll be heading out today."

"Already?" Zek asked. "Sure the nuns have everything in order?"

"Main threat's gone and the situation with the sick and wounded has stabilized. They can handle things from here."

"What about after though?" Ka'lira asked, clearly concerned. "They can't just stay here. Heigou's done for."

"All the more reason we're heading out. We'll make way to the Earth Kingdom form, Xiahu. From there, we can direct a detachment of troops here to lend a hand. Hopefully they can get everybody to somewhere like Xiahu or Jingping, out of harm's way."

"And if the Earth Kingdom refuses to lend assistance?" Zek asked. I couldn't blame him for wondering. It was a very real concern, especially in light of how the Earth Kingdom had already let Heigou fall in the first place.

"Then we'll make them," I answered, lacking any other more secure answer.

I doubted it was enough to truly satisfy Zek, but it was enough to get him to comply. I suppose that's what mattered for the moment after at any rate.

I continued in saying, "Zek, you get the camp ready. Wake Luke too. Ka'lira, you and I are going to check in with Kala. She said she'd be getting some supplies ready for us. We'll see if that's all set." Ka'lira nodded, reaching back into the tent to don some more appropriate clothing for the day as Zek, still in his own nightwear, went about packing his things.

I looked around at our temporary campsite of the last week. Our time here was over, that was clear. Zek's concerns still rang in my mind though, myself praying that the Earth Kingdom would pull through, but as I set off with Ka'lira back into the city square, I couldn't help but acknowledge that I had my doubts.

Luke

I should have expected that our work in Heigou wouldn't be lasting much longer after everything that had been done, but already the next day, we were setting out.

The journey back to Heigou after the attack had been a quiet one. We'd lost a fair amount of people and, in the process, had brutally eliminated our enemy. That wasn't to say they hadn't deserved it, but notwithstanding, it was hard to walk away from that forest exactly feeling like heroes. We hadn't saved anybody. We had prevented future casualties, sure, but the damage had already been done. Heigou would never recover from what had happened to it.

Still, while we may not have felt like victors, I didn't doubt that there was a weight on all of our shoulders that had finally been lifted, and that much couldn't be denied. I think we all slept like rocks as opposed to how we had the nights before, no longer fearing an attack, no longer concerned that the next day would come with more disease, more poisonings, more death.

The next morning though, I woke up to Zek already packing up the camp. We're leaving already. I crawled out of my tent into the foggy summer day, having no idea what time it was, but figuring by the time I'd gone to sleep last night, it must have already been midday if not beyond.

"We're leaving?" I groggily asked, unsure if my question had been heard and was considering asking again until Zek turned, surprised to see me up by the look on his face.

"Ah, you're up."

I rubbed my eyes, crawling further out of the tent until I could properly stand, reaching back inside to grab my canteen, pouring what remained of the contents into my right hand to promptly splash onto my face in an effort to wake myself all the quicker. "So," I started again, water still dripping from my face as I blinked away the small amount that had worked itself into my eyes. "We leaving?"

"Guess so. Gordez told me to start getting things ready for us to go."

"Where'd Gordez get off to?"

"Think he's talking to the nuns. Finalizing stuff for us to leave along with Ka'lira. Ah, speak of the devil."

The sound of foots steps prompted me to turn. Gordez wasn't present. Ka'lira had just come into my line of sight with some food in tow. Guess the town had something to spare for us. Gordez's items were already packed. He was the first to be ready, it seemed.

"Ah," Ka'lira said. "You're up. Good. Break camp and when you're done, get to the town square. We got some more supplies to take back."

I nodded, familiar with the drill. If the army had taught me anything aside from killing, it was staying light on my feet, able to relocate at a moment's notice. I slipped on my pants over my underwear, lacing them together at the front. I grabbed my jacket, considering, but decided against it, the summer heat already bearing down on me, the chill of Spring certainly behind us now. From there, it was just a matter of packing loose items into my bag and rolling up my sleeping bag, ensuring all was prepped for departure. Such was accomplished soon enough, my tent brought down just as rapidly and left in a neatly tied together attached to my bag, the total weight proving burdensome, but nonetheless bearable.

I made my way from our contested alleyway to the city center that I'd grown more accustomed to than I'd care to admit. The last week watching more people than I could count die slow and agonizing deaths around me, even after everything I'd seen, I knew I would only take some much of it. Some part of me was glad to be leaving. Another part of me however was thinking on what I'd be leaving behind.

As much as I tried to push the thought aside, my brain couldn't help but drift over to Zare, still attempting to piece together the reality of the night before.

My train of thought was interrupted by Gordez catching sight of me and diverting my attention towards him with an exclamation of, "Hey Luke! You're awake. Over here! Help me with this cargo!"

I was at his position in time for a nun to hand me a crate of what appeared to be food, stacking another crate atop it, followed by another, to the point that nearly my entire line of sight was shrouded. "Mind getting that back to camp for me?" I barely heard Gordez say over my effort to not drop the heavy burden.

I simply nodded in acknowledgement, despite believing that the odds were there was no way he could see my affirmation, but regardless, I set off back towards camp.

The effort of balancing the crates was only half as precarious as every step I took, relying on chance as there was no earthly way I could see where I was going, never knowing if I was about to crash with a wall or possibly trample a nearby nun with what I imagined to be approximately a hundred pounds worth of cargo.

I had no idea how close I was to camp, or even if I was heading in the right direction when I heard a voice ask me, "Need a hand there?"

Zare. "Ah, well you chose the perfect time to show up now that I'm already back," I joked.

"You've been walking the wrong direction for the last 5 minutes."

"…Oh."

Her following chuckle accompanied the lightening of my load by a crate as she bore the weight of it on her own, allowing me an angle to finally see ahead, the first sight I noticed being her green eyes partly shadowed by auburn hair. With a sly smile adorning her face, she cocked her head to her right, prompting my head to turn and notice the proper direction back to our camp.

As we walked, I could notice the smile on her face begin to fade, eventually culminating in her asking, "So, you're leaving?"

"Looks like it," I admitted, knowing I wasn't able to hide some reservation in my voice.

"Oh," was all she managed to say at the moment. A quick glance at her was enough to tell that she wasn't exactly elated by the news. I couldn't help but feel flattered, and even grant that I felt in a similar way. After all, after a week of constant working to try and bring some life back to a devastated town, I imagined that one wouldn't help but learn to appreciate the company they had while doing so.

I considered telling her then that the feeling was mutual before she spoke up again, asking, "So, where are you and the others off to now?"

"Well, we're going to be heading to the coast to see what we can do to lend a hand there. We think that the Fire Nation's going to be attacking soon, so we'll be down there to try and help the people there." Even when trying to appease an Earth Kingdom native, I still couldn't bring myself to say that I'd be helping the Earth Kingdom. I'd been saying we were working with the Separatists through gritted teeth for the last half year, and to declare now I'd be working for the Earth Kingdom, I couldn't do that. Besides, I wanted to believe it true, that we wouldn't be there to truly declare our allegiance to the Earth Kingdom, but to do as we swore, to protect those caught in the crossfire.

"Sounds noble, actually helping people where and when it's needed most." There was something in her voice as she said this. Almost. Shame?

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Just doesn't feel like I'm doing much real good here."

"You're working with doctors travelling to area that need your help most. That's some real good if you ask me."

"Guess I'd just rather be able to help people before it's groups like the nuns that they need. You get me?"

I did. Helping people before half of them were already did. Defending them before they got to Heigou's state, torn apart, disease-ridden, men, women, and children bleeding to death beneath the rubble of their own homes. "Yeah. I get you."

A fragile silence hung in the air. One I knew was going to be broken, but by whom, I couldn't tell who. Seeing her speak this way about what she did though, questioning her own good intentions, I hated to see it, and I think that's what had prompted me to speak first. "Still. There's something about saving a life without having to take one that carries a certain honor to it."

"What good is that honor if the refusal to take a life in order to save one only results in the death of who you're trying to save. I don't know. Any day of the week, I'd take the life of somebody who deserved it if it meant knowing for sure I could save the life of somebody who deserved to live. Do you disagree?"

Damnit. I didn't. Everything she had just said, it had been my own reasoning to turn things around. I was a soldier. Fighting, killing, it's what I knew, but here, with the others, knowing that by being a soldier, I could save others, it felt like it was finally where I really belonged. "No, I-I don't. My own reasons for doing what I do are pretty much exactly that."

"Hmm. Then I have to ask something." I turned to her in curiosity, not knowing where she was going with this. "Do you think I could join you?"

Now that, I had not been expecting. "You want-"

"-To join you," she finished.

I stood there, just considering the thought of it. I'd be lying if I said that the idea of having her along didn't appeal to me. She was a fun conversationalist, I found her interesting, and I still had a desire to extract the truth our of her in regard to just what she was capable of, but, with us? Ever since we'd gotten started, we'd only taken along people like Zadok and Kosah who knew of war, or people like Jadoh and Ka'lira who had nothing else, but, Zare, she did have more. She was with a group of good-meaning people, she was safe, she had a home, she had people. To take her away with that for the mere chance of 'doing more.' It didn't sit right.

"I-I don't know," I admitted.

"Why not?"

"Because, I-, well, us, for one, It-it can't just be me who decides."

"Naturally, I get that, but you seem hesitant to let me come along. Why?"

"You do realize what we do, right?"

"You help people."

"We're soldiers without a nation. We got all over the world, sticking our noses in combat zones to give those caught in the crossfire a fighting chance. Flowery language aside, we don't have many friends, and we have more than enough enemies. The friends we do have our the weak and powerless, those who already have a hard enough time defending themselves, and, let me guarantee you, would be powerless to help us in out time of need. We're alone in the world."

"I'm already pretty alone in the world as is."

"No, you're not. You have the nuns, you have Kala, Gehor, the others. You're less alone in the world than we are, that's for sure."

"Believe me, I'd hardly call that not being alone. What you have-each other-that's family."

I sighed. I wasn't winning this. Around this time, we had reached camp where Zek and Ka'lira said pretty much gotten all the rest ready to go.

"Look," she said as we set down the crates on the small cart we'd be pulling with us. "Just promise you'll consider it."

I hated to lie, didn't wish to make a habit of it if I didn't need to, especially with people like her.

What did I mean, 'people like her'? I shook that thought aside. I'd do what I'd have to do. The life we lived, that wasn't one for somebody who could make so much more of herself. I'd say what I needed to say. "I promise."

She nodded, turning back in the opposite direction away from what had used to be our campsite. I couldn't help but feel some sense of regret at what I'd done, but I'd get over it.

"What was that about?" Zek asked as I set the last crate down on the cart.

"Nothing," I said, ignoring the knot in my stomach. "We ready to get going?"

"Mhmm," Ka'lira responded. "All set. Just waiting for Gordez now."

"And you?" Zek asked. "All set?"

I nodded. "Good to go."

"You sure? You make sure you didn't forget a goodbye kiss?"

"Do you want me to burn you?"

His satisfied laughter was replaced by an "Ow" that emerged from Ka'lira punching his shoulder, cutting his reveling short. "What was that for?"

"For being a dick?"

"Okay, but I do that all the time. What's your point?"

Ka'lira didn't deign to dignify his question with a response, letting the amused silence hang for a small while. I would have loved to have been more a part of it, but an unyielding guilt still hung over me, constantly making me question just what I'd done, no satisfying answer destined to be reached anytime soon.

It was only a few minutes later that Gordez returned, burdened by 4 crates in tow, two under each arm, the beast that he was. Our offers to lend assistance fell on death ears as he single handedly went about loading the cart with the nuns' surplus supplies-enough to last us quite a good while. I myself wondered where they'd scrounged it all up, but figured it better not to ask. Notwithstanding, their donation had been more than generous with food, water, some spare medicine, and the like.

"They're giving us this much?" Ka'lria asked, posing the question I knew we likely add had.

"Not all for us. Good amount of it is for the troops at Xiahu. Not sure if it's good will or bribery," he shrugged, "But her choice, I guess. Everyone all set to go?"

We all responded in affirmation, myself shrugging the bag on my back into a more comfortable position before stating my own readiness.

"Good. It'll be around a 4-day journey, but we should hopefully get there in time before the Fire Nation tries anything."

And with that, it wasn't long before we made our way out of Heigou, through the now empty streets, fires having made way for ash, the carnage on the streets having finally subsided.

The memories of what had transpired were still fresh in my mind, wandering the streets with Zare, the two of us doing what we could to help others, making a difference. Far later than we should have, however.

Despite that, the two of us had worked as a team, and we did good, we worked together well, doing what we could to make things better. And I just left her like that, without a second's notice.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

In time, we had left the city's borders, leaving it well behind us. As we walked, listening to the others joking around me, chatting on our plans, exchanging friendly conversation, Zare's words came back running through my head. We're a family.

Had I just taken that away from her? Taken away a chance for her to find people with whom she could really feel at home? Taken away the chance they'd given me at Ba Sing Se.

How was what I did any different from what she was asking from me? In the Fire Nation at Ba Sing Se, I was safe, I was secure, I had a long life span, at least longer than roaming the world looking for warzones across the continent. I was protected, had people looking out for me, but I left it for something more, for people I could find family with. Zare had come to me looking for the same thing, for that same chance, and I just tore that away from her.

Damnit all.

We were around 30 minutes out from Heigou when movement along the trail could be heard behind us. Running by the sound of it.

Fire Nation? More mercenaries who'd been in hiding?

We'd all noticed it. By this point in time, none of us were prone to being snuck up on, and so we all turned, weapons drawn. I had my sword raised, Gordez, his newfound flail, Zek, his sword, and Ka'lira, her crossbow, all of us turning to see Zare, arms raised I surrender, exclaiming, "Woah, woah! It's just me!"

Son of a bitch.

"Wait," Gordez said, lowering his flail, prompting for the others to lower their weapons as well. "Zare?"

She revealed herself from behind the tree trunk she'd been huddled behind to take cover from a potential. She had a bag slung around her shoulder, visibly sweating from the running, summer heat in addition to her coat, and the weight of the bag on her back. "Yeah, sorry, should have warned you I was coming."

"What are you doing here?"

It was around this time that, as their conversation continued, Zek turned his head to me, a stupid grin on his face that I repelled with one simple glare. He got the message and with a quiet scoff, turned back to the encounter at hand.

"Kala sent me." Zare's eyes drifted to mine as she finished, saying, "Wants to have one of us go up to Xiahu and make sure that they'll be sending troops and supplies."

She's lying. Her eyes were on me. She knew that I knew. This was her last desperate attempt, relying solely on me. Why? Is this really worth that much to you?

"Kala already asked us to do just that," Gordez responded, something clearly doubtful about the way in which he responded. Gordez didn't believe her either. So it's not just all on me.

"She feels more comfortable sending somebody she knows."

"I find that hard to believe. She made no mention of having any doubts."

Why? Is this worth so much to you?

"I'm telling the truth. Luke was there when she told me." Her eyes were locked on me now.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Everybody turned to me. Gordez, Zek, Ka'lira, and most of all, Zare, the desperation apparent, having no other options, relying on one last gamble, even after I'd already left her high and dry. Why? Why me?

"Well, Luke?" Gordez asked. "Is she telling the truth?"

She felt as though she had shrunk to the size of a helpless animal in that moment. Despite being the same height as me for the msot part, I felt as though, in that moment, I had all the power to crush her beneath a single step, and that terrified me. She was at my mercy, my next move the determining factor for what would happen to her.

Everything about her face was pleading, begging, green eyes helpless, her mouth, for a brief moment, mouthing the word, 'please' to me.

Is it worth this much? To risk everything? To leave everything? Why are we worth it?

Why was it worth it for me when I left? It wasn't, at least, it never could be from an outside perspective, but, I just knew I had nowhere else to family had saved me. Maybe, whatever it was she needed saving from, it could do the same for her. We could do the same for her. I could do the same for her. The power was all in my hands in this moment.

I didn't like making a habit of lying, but I'd already screwed that up earlier. Maybe, some times, two wrongs did make a right after all.

"Yeah," I said. "She's telling the truth."

Her eyes softened, everything about her stature relaxing, a relieved smile forming on her face, my focus from her features quickly torn away by Zek exclaiming, "Well what the fuck, Luke? You asshole! Kala sent her to join us and you just left her in the city?!"

"It-it slipped my mind."

"You don't just treat somebody like that!" added Ka'lira after her boyfriend had already laid into me. "Why would you do that?!"

The reprimands continued, but beyond them, ignoring the screaming for just a small moment, I saw Zare's mouth make the silent words of 'thank you,' and somehow, that did something to make it worth it.

"Enough!" Gordez called. "What's done is done. She's here now, but we have pace to keep. Luke, take her bags, it's the least you can do."

"Oh. I'm liking this," Zare said as she approached, shrugging off her bag and shoving it into my chest. "Consider this payback," she whispered.

"Well, for as long as you're with us," Gordez started, "figure you may as well get a proper introduction. I'm Gordez. This is Zek and Ka'lira,-"

"And the rude shit who stood you up is Luke," Zek finished.

Zare bowed her head in greeting to the 4 of us in turn, skipping over me, not that I could blame her. Well shit. I'm going to have to live this down for a good while.

"Welcome aboard," Ka'lira said, finishing off the series of introductions.

"Thank you," Zare said. "It's good to be aboard. Albeit temporarily," she added quietly at the end, myself possessing no doubt of its insincerity.

"Well, forever long you're here," Gordez said, "Welcome."

And so our small band of travelers found its newest misfit, and as we continued walking, friendly chatter among us, introductions being made and the like, myself trailing behind in silence as we marched towards yet another warzone, I wondered if I had just made a terrible mistake.