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copy and paste on to profile:

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile

If you are odd and proud of it, put this on your profile.

If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flame throwers at your command, copy this onto your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Ever ran into a wall or part of one, Copy and paste this into your profile.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message into your profile.

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character; copy and post this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you always say 'uhhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

IF YOU BELIEVE FIGHTING CRIME IN MINI SKIRTS IS POSSIBLE, COPY THIS IN UR PROFILE! I BELIEVE DUDES!

Almost every teenager talks on their phone for hours on end. If your one of the few who dosn't, copy this onto your profile and add your name to the list. gothgirl-narutofan, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Lady Sabine of Macayhill. Pwebes

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off.

If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Lady Sabine of Macayhill, P-webes,

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, Pink Hi-Lighter, pointy star, Bruce n' Charlie, Death By Squishy, Haruko-Uzumaki, Lady Sabine of Macayhill, P-webes,

If you think that those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, RuneWitchSakura, Twin Kats, Haruko-Uzumaki, Lady Sabine of Macayhill, Pwebes

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever said goodbye to a person and kept walking in the same direction as them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have the skill to fall up stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile. ;)

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese, or if two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever run up the 'down' escalator or vice versa, copy and paste this into our profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree or if you have at least one insane friend copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...) Darkecogir (I done it a couple a times)Tora-kun126(sideways, backwards, forwards, up, down, over, and underneath. I've done it all) DiRtY BuBbLe (more than I fall down them, and, also, I cannot figure out how to walk in a straight line ...any ideas?) HollyluvsArty, Super Reader (unfortunatly yes. All the time.)Fell Dragon( Do not ask.Please.) Sakura 13. (Hell yeah, I fall UP stairs. I'll be running up the stairs at my house. with dumbass people chasing me up them and I fall. UP.)P-webes ( ifall up the stairsat school all the time, at my school no one falls down, they all fall upstairs.)

Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it,

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the stupid Trix Rabbit some friggin' cereal put this in your profile!

If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever ran into a mirror, C&P

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "Man! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you ever listened to the same song for six hours straight put this on your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really obvious, stupid question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a facebook/twitter/instagram and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks facebook/twitter/instagram is a dumb way to make friends,relationsips,etc. post this onto your profile.(That's right, i'm half a person!!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

"The woman came from the man's ribs. Not his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected and near the heart to be loved." If you agree that men and women should have equal rights in EVERYTHING, put this on your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile (you think that's long? I've laughed for at least an hour straight...not kidding...i've got some pretty crazy friends, once i've started laughing they won't let me stop, this was not me but someone else)

if you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you know what a lemon fly is (for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!) post this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you'r a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...) Darkecogir (I done it a couple a times)Tora-kun126(sideways, backwards, forwards, up, down, over, and underneath. I've done it all) DiRtY BuBbLe (more than I fall down them, and, also, I cannot figure out how to walk in a straight line ...any ideas?) HollyluvsArty, Super Reader (unfortunately yes. All the time.)Fell Dragon( Do not ask.Please.) Sakura 13. (Hell yeah, I fall UP stairs. I'll be running up the stairs at my house. with dumbass people chasing me up them and I fall. UP.)P-webes ( i fall up the stairs at school all the time, at my school no one falls down, they all fall upstairs.)

Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it,

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the stupid Trix Rabbit some friggin' cereal put this in your profile!

If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever ran into a mirror, C&P

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "Man! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is when you post in this list. Crazy is when you actually trying to break your phone because you believe it is indestructible If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

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now for semoehtnig itnresitmg...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Lucifer

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Now i roam the underworld,

to help those in need.

I may seem evil,

but i'm not.

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are affected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE POST THIS ON YOU PROFILE

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. --

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this "Ice ice _ "--ummm still not cool, even then.

You remember watching: -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life.

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember: -TGIF -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everyhting was settled by: -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching: -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching: -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

one word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob

If you remember all of that(or most of it) then you're a 90's kid

random quotes/sayings:

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All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

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They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Smile. It confuses people.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.

Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.

Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone!

How many toes does a fish have how many wings on a cow i wonder yup i wonder!

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?...Wait I just thought of something that would be good for making...ooooooooo something shiny!!

"Americans worship money. I have been looking for god all my life and he is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock

Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.

If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?

Welcome to the world of very scary fairies!

For those who think fairies are innocent little creatures...

Killing gnomes with sporks!

If you’re paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!

Not the leprachans again!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back!

Purple monkeys r coming.purple monkeys r coming ...HIDE...

The cheese sat next to the banana!!

Watch out for the gopher!! He will turn you into blue pancakes...

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a brdge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.

People sya that people kill people, not that guns kill people. But I don't think it would work if you stood in front of a person and said "BANG!" and they die.

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, smart one?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, INSERT NAME HERE, RUN!"

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

Do you think the Trix cereal kids should just suck up their pride, and give the rabbit some Trix?

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why iz that frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

I've built a wall, not to block people out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it

"The woman came from the man's ribs. Not his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected and near the heart to be loved." If you agree that men and women should have equal rights in EVERYTHING, put this on your profile.

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed

When all else fails read the instructions. When all else fails and the instructions are missing, kick it."

only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half have never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half."

"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others."

"If absolute power corrupts then where does that leave god?"

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields.

"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."

"I hope you will think of a smart way to fight them. If you don't, I will find a stupid way." -Daine (to Numair)

Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people

Don't call me sir." - Raoul "Yes, sir" - Kel

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What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

If you think that all men should be like this, copy and paste this into your profile!

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Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)