A/N

happy august eighteenth.

filler, but it'll get me in the groove.

Nico and Bianca woke up to two twelve year old girls poking them with sticks and giggling while running away when they came to, which probably shouldn't have been the weirdest thing that had happened in their lives, but it was, in fact, the weirdest thing to ever happen in their lives. Minds groggy, they sat up blearily while taking account of their surroundings; in a silver tent with little more than two hammocks and a pelt rug.

Well, it wasn't the Lotus Hotel, but it was better than the dorms.

"Bianca?"

"Yes, Nico?"

"Am I tripping or was I dreaming or is mythomagic real?"

Bianca doesn't know how to respond at this point. Probably not. It was more likely they'd hallucinated the past year or so, but she didn't really have the heart to find out the truth.

"I don't really know. Want to check it out?"

And then she realised that she was probably still hallucinating.

A whole camp had been set up in front of them, a fire already going with some type of meat Bianca didn't recognise on a large spit, rotated by a burly girl who already seemed wide awake. Some people were down by the lake, shooting arrows at presumably makeshift targets; another was dragging a blade along some piece of stone. It was an oddly domestic, familiar, and peculiar sight all at once.

Two minutes into waking up and life already seemed more interesting.

"Bianca! Nico!" And Grover had goat hooves. Nice to remember the incident from last night, Bianca told herself, still feeling a little weirded out this was all really happening around her and she wasn't tripping on shrooms. "Are you guys okay? You went all weird when Lord... Lord H claimed you."

"Hades?" They wondered aloud in unison, and Grover froze before suddenly spinning around in circles, a frenzied shaking of his head even though everyone else looked perfectly calm.

"Names have power, you two." Annabeth explained as she approached from behind Grover, patting the guy on the shoulder while Thalia looked less than pleased for some reason. "Grover's just a little tense because of what happened a little while back."

The Daughter of Zeus grumbled something that sounded vaguely like 'understatement', but the di Angelos didn't press. For now. Percy could do it for them later.

"Good to see you two awake." An auburn-haired girl addressed brother and sister in a manner which commanded respect from both, an elegance they could not deny. "Percy will be taking you to your father this morning. We've arranged a pick up in a few minutes' time, so if you need anything, grab them before you go. Also, you three - that Andromeda girl is doing the washing, and despite who her father seems to be she's not very good at it." She ends her sentence with a smile, and the three campers grumble but chase off as quickly as they can in the direction of the lake.

"And your ride is here, by the way, Uncle knows how punctual Thanatos can be. Come on now, you want to see your father, don't you?"

They're about to question her eyesight before their own is overtaken by a fluttering flurry of feathers, wings beating as a beautifully sculpted man descends from the heavens, with an iPad in hand? It was always kind of a trip to meet new Gods, even if they'd only met two so far.

And, as he always did, Percy took the opportune moment to step out and shine just as radiantly as the God who stood next to him, flawless in his suit and tie - Italian, they could tell - crisp, sharp, whatever adjective which meant 'really cool but elegant kind of cool'. He grinned, and received a few teases from the tiara-wearing girl next to him, earning a blush from the kid, who noticeably sped up his pace towards them.

Ready to go? He signs, and Bianca nods, Nico following suit close behind. He extends two arms and takes their hands, approaching Thanatos slowly and head slightly bowed. His companions follow his lead, only for the God of Death to wave them off.

"You're Children of Lord Hades. No need for the formality. And I like your hair, so you can relax too, kid."

The God of Death was surprisingly lax.

"Take your time down there, you two, get to know your father a little better - Persephone will love you too, by the way, you know, even though it's winter and she's not there right now - but you, mister, get home by six. Auntie will pick you up if you stay late, so Uncle knows not to mess with me." Artemis points at her kid with the end of her bow a little threateningly, but Percy only grins and nods, waving her off with a gesture.

"May I leave now, Lady Artemis? I'm sure Lord Hades is itching to meet his children."

"Sure, Thanatos, go. Say hi to Cerberus for me."

"He's utterly terrified of you, madam, but I shall."

Thanatos bows and wraps an arm around his three cargo, and with a spin and a dark, flurrying tornado, the group disappears, leaving only a mess of black feathers all over the camp.

"Underworld Gods and their dramatics," Artemis mutters, waving a hand and tossing the scraps into a miscellaneous items tent. "Hades really learnt some shit from Father in those years."

"Don't let Lord Hades hear you say that, My Lady."

"Of course, Zoe."

The Underworld is a large cavern. Large to the point of not even being able to see where the roof of the cavern was, and every single part of the damn place had some kind of expansion or renovation going. Except the fields of punishment, because overpopulation seemed to be some type of new torture tactic.

The Erinyes were a creative bunch, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Asphodel didn't really need an expansion - it was just a magic field that stretched on for miles, and Percy absent-mindedly recalled the tales of Egyptian myths he'd read for years, in that bookshelf that basically only he could access because he didn't actually have dyslexia or ADHD. The Field of Reeds, he thought, might have looked similar to Asphodel itself - maybe not the rest of the Duat though.

It was a whole ecosystem within itself, stretching miles and miles, bland but lively in its own rights. The Styx ran throughout the underworld, thinning in some places and widening in others, accompanied by her sisters, though they seemed to be less distinct in appearance - except for the Phlegethon, because it was a literal river of fire. Every flap of Thanatos' wings seemed to cover more ground yet nothing seemed to be progressing at the same time; the Underworld was simply too massive to comprehend.

At least, until the slightest hint of obsidian came into view and so did Hades' palace, which Percy thought might have resembled Olympus - he didn't know, he'd never been up there since Zeus was in the area. And then finally, Percy caught a glimpse of Elysium, the smallest of them all, dwarfed by the gigantic fields and plains of meaningless death and eternal torture. The Lethe ran slowly at the edge of paradise, for those who wished their souls back into the living world. But it slowly faded from view as Thanatos veered away from the region, instead landing softly at the base of Hades' castle-gates, which spiralled upwards into dark obsidian spikes.

"So cool," Nico loudly whispered - he wasn't very subtle. But Percy shared the sentiment, because it was pretty cool.

Thanatos guided them through the halls, where the undead stood guard, some with guns and other with sabres, a xiphos there and an archer here. It was like walking through a weird limbo of time, between eras yet outside of them completely - Percy thought that Hades might've been a history nerd. Probably was.

The throne room, unlike Olympus, did not bar entry to guests with lavish doors inlaid with gold and marble but was instead seemingly open to all, the large frame of Hades sitting in his throne with Persephone empty from hers - that was right, it was the middle of bloody freezing winter, and Uncle was probably lonely because their last Uno game had been months ago.

Still, the God appeared strong, someone who commanded respect. His beard was trimmed and his hair was actually tied up in a neatly fashioned bun for once, like Percy had recommended for aeons. He didn't ditch the robes, though, unlike most of his siblings had done in modern times, but it fit him well enough.

"Percy. Good to see you, though I hope Charon didn't take note of your suit. Always complains about how yours is better than his. I presume it went well?" Ah, that gravelly voice. He hadn't been drinking water, probably overworked.

The silver-eyed kid grinned in response to his uncle's question, resolving to tell his uncle to drink more water later. Gently, he ushered his companions forward, two shy di Angelos approaching with cautious faces, a wariness in their eyes which he knew would actually make Hades rather proud.

"You're wary of me. That's a good trait to have, awareness." See? What did Percy say? "But I'm your father. Don't be too worried."

Still, they're tentative in their approach, and Percy looks back at Thanatos, who is visibly trying to keep in tears because he's a bloody sap. Melinoe was better to hang out with, even if she was a little gloomy.

"You're… our father?"

Hades nods, smiling softly. Percy knows this is a touching, intimate moment, but Thanatos' sniffles are really taking him out of it.

And so, he catches his Uncle's eye, head tipped slightly in respect, and Hades agrees to his non verbal proposition, a silent conclusion that their business be handled later. Percy exits the Throne Room with a bow, retreating into the halls with a soft click of his boots.

Their voices and conversation grow increasingly muffled as Percy navigates the halls, trying not to get lost like that one time when Persephone was babysitting him at a tender age of four that left him with a residual amount of trauma - where was he going with this? Right, he wanted to see Melinoe. Percy had kind of lost track of the days, but Melinoe was in her room most of the time… so that seemed like a good place to start.

Until he quite literally bumped into her in a hallway instead.

"Percy!" She cried suddenly, jumping onto him. "Are you dead? Are you a ghost?"

He smiles and shakes his head, taking a slight amusement in her sudden deflation.

"Sucks. If you were dead we could hang out together all the time!"

Wait a couple more decades, he signed, rolling his eyes. I'll be here and I'll hang out with you as much as you want.

"You got a fucking deal. Swear on the Styx."

Percy crossed his fingers, but apparently it was good enough for the lady in the river, because a sudden booming of thunder resounded even though they were most certainly miles underground, away from the sky. The damn noise was always so loud.

Melinoe smiled, her ghostly appearance flickering the in the light of her bright happiness. "Cool! Let's go talk to the people in Asphodel, they're always so interesting."

As the Goddess of Ghosts, she was one of the only people who could converse with the dead in Asphodel but she'd lent Percy the power every time they'd met up. Though she was reluctant to give him her full blessing - people dying without proper rites and those who never find their way to Charon mostly become wandering spirits, and they were everywhere at this point. Percy would've been left half-insane from all the auditory hallucinations he would've had.

The woman wasn't wrong when she backed the intrigue of these souls, however. Each one had a life at some point, and the way their dead eyes found the slightest spark of life when Melinoe talked to them was oddly heartwarming, in a way. It was a bittersweet thing.

But the conversations did take a bunch of time, and Percy found that it was already close to six - Melinoe pouted but ultimately led him back to the palace with a spring in her step, humming all the way back waving a brief bye-bye with a little peck on the cheek that left him blushing - he wasn't always smooth, okay?

Hades was still chatting with his newfound children, but a quick sign of fire-woman saw the God flinch slightly, nodding remarkably subtly while rapidly and waving Percy off with a hurried gesture, though the di Angelos didn't seem to be leaving soon - Hades would probably figure something out about that.

"Percy! It's time to go!"

Aunt 'Tia turned a corner and appeared in all her minute glory, wisps of smoke and flame trailing behind her small figure that radiated power, smacking him in the shins and bonking him on his head for his usual lack of punctuality.

"Hope's champion should be more punctual, Perseus," she started in her kiddy voice that somehow sounded menacing. "Keep that in mind. Now, on the way back you'll be showing me everything you've been practicing for the past month."

Auntie.

"Nope. You better have improved, or I'll be talking with your mother about this."

And with a clack of a staff and a swirl of white-hot fire, they exited the underworld.

All in all, a not-too-abnormal… what day of the week was it again?

Hunter's Camp.

"Percy, you're late."

"Niece! We must have a talk about Percy's progress - he's doing well, but he can do so much better-"

"Oh, is that so?" Artemis wondered out loud, shooting her kid a questioning look, to which they replied with a sheepish one of their own. "Lead the way, Hestia."

Zoe sidles up to him and he can feel her smug smirk radiating outwards from her face. "Someone's going to have some extra work for being late!"

Yes. He loved his life.

"Percy, you're late so you're getting the smallest portion! Losers weepers!"

So much.